Sex Advise, Pissy Towels and Secrets

Music. Welcome to the Unhinged Podcast. I'm Zina. And I'm Dani. And happy new year.

Welcome back, bitches. Guess who's back? Back again. Shady's back. Tell your friends. But anyway, some people slid into my DMs worried that we had given up a podcast. Oh, yeah. Really? Yeah. Should we have told everyone we were taking a break? I know. And then in my head, like, because they were like, you have given up the podcast.

Where's the podcast been? and I was like you don't listen to the podcast because if you did you would know we took a two week break, so they obviously just but there is a lot of people that literally just look at our content online and don't actually listen to pod listen to fucking pod yeah listen to the podcast we're not doing all this for none yeah listen to the pod girls, guys and gays girls, guys and gays and days and days and whatever else is out there yeah there's

loads out there not in America though not in America lol so sorry our American listeners that was mean, yeah there's no more you know there's only two genders in America now to be honest with you I'm just blocking out anything to do with America because I you can't follow along like it's just not that I want to follow along anyway it's just I can't keep up I am very happy in my little oblivious bubble not knowing or not wanting to know that it doesn't seem real anyway it seems like a like a

bad TV show it's like a fucking piss take or something I don't know and then see fucking Elon Musk's then doing that fucking salute then Jesus Christ I used to like him he was off his fucking rocker did you see the video of him and it It was like he had just been hit by acid while he was just standing in the crowd. No, he could have been stimming. Well, he could have been stimming, but his eyes were like this and he was like, oh no, it was bad.

He's definitely fucking, he was 100% on something. I don't know. I feel sorry for my American friends anyway. Yeah, I do as well. You know? I do as well. Like, there's a lot of, like, I'm sure there's a lot of good that comes with whatever's going on over there, but there's also way more fucking bad.

Like, they're kind of thrown up in turmoil. and we know we have a lot of American listeners and we should probably really be more brushed on what, brushed up on it but no thank you I'm not brushed up on it I don't even know who our fucking president is or our Taoiseach anymore I don't I don't follow Irish politics let alone fucking American Aaron is very into it like and I try to and I try to talk about it I'm like oh I don't care show up

I really don't care every now and then I see it on TikTok like this fucking salute and I'm like what the hell is going on over there what's going on but to be fair now I didn't look at the whole video and there is a lot of people defending them saying there's a lot of people going against them but there's a lot of people defending him saying you know before that he said I'm throwing my heart out to the audience or whatever

like he was like I'm giving you all my heart and to be fair to him it did look like the gesture of throwing the heart but like they are so calculated that he's one of the smartest men going he knows what he's doing I think that was he knew exactly what he was doing of course he did you know what I mean of course he did he knew exactly what he was doing he's not stupid but yeah so apparently, so there's only two genders in America but whatever way it was written in Trump

said from conception so technically Everyone in America was female for a few hours. Yeah, because you're... At conception you're female for the first six weeks and then that's when your gender is defined. Right. Touch your subject. Oh no. If someone wants to come up to you on the street another way you say on TikTok someone wants to come up to you on the street and go Danny how many genders are there?

I'll tell them to fuck off and get in my face. Would you not answer it? No. No. But my like no but like it's not even what I believe to be true is not what other people believe. Do you know what I mean? I just kind of like let people believe what they want to believe. Yeah.

Let people have their own little place in the world if it's not doing you any harm and it's not affecting your life just leave them alone whether you agree with it or not just leave fucking people alone leave people alone if you're doing no harm and you're not a threat to society and you're a good fucking law abiding citizen just leave them alone some people are doing fucking harm though you ever see those like, some of those people in the LGBTQ plus community and

you're just like oh please stop yeah like the furries please stop you're giving us a bit of a people going around with a fucking anal bead of a fox's tail in their knickers like to where they think they're an animal that's too far there's people that make a mockery of things and then they make a mockery of so much it's hard for say like trans people and all to get.

Not the sympathy but to get the recognition the validation that they deserve because there's so many other people ripping the fucking shit out of like taking it too far yeah way too far you know what I mean like there is like I definitely believe in gender dysphoria and I do believe there's a lot of people out there that are in the wrong bodies and stuff and it's them people that are genuine keep to themselves live their life and just don't fucking disturb anybody yeah if

I have to be 100% honest and completely like transparent right the one thing I do find a little bit confusing is the whole non-binary thing yeah the non-binary thing where people are like I'm not male or female and like they're very very passionate about it and and all that like so it's something I don't understand but it's something I feel like I don't need to understand it as long as I just be respectful towards someone and like call them by they them or whatever that's fine with me but

if I was to be honest I don't get it no I don't get it either but I don't think you actually do understand it until you're in a position like I don't.

Like it doesn't bother me do you know what I mean like if you just tell me look I'd prefer if you just address me by they I'd be like that's fine yeah that's fine do you know what I mean that's no problem yeah no worries I might not understand like yeah but I'm not going to be disrespectful towards you it's just someone saying that they don't identify as a male or female, then I just don't get it yeah I just don't get it but then there's,

there's women no that's the wrong thing there's people out there right there's there's day-thems out there a sign of birth female that are trans men but they dress like a female and call themselves, femme trans yeah so there's so many like you're a sign of birth female you're a cis female you're a trans man right but yes still I.

Have the you look just like a woman yeah that I you know I don't get that either, it's all very confusing I don't want to tread on anyone's toes like I said like we both said we don't understand it so we don't know how to approach it there's do you know what I mean it's none of my business if you want to be do you know gendered is a certain thing you just tell me and if I do you know if I do it wrong just correct me don't be very interesting someone come on non-binary person

come on or someone who has a bit of a controversial, status or whatsoever come on and inform us explain Explain Not even if you have to Yeah not that you have to No but like enlighten us Enlighten us Yeah That's the word Enlighten us Spill the beans Yeah We want to know Yeah 2025, It's going to be wild It's going to be wild It's going to be wild It's going to be wild I'm telling you now It better be better than 2024 and 2023, I know Because I'm going to It actually is already better Because

I'm now an auntie Yay And Danny got to meet my He's so cute Yeah my little Jasper My little nephew Jasper Yeah Ever the first time today He's gorgeous He's the best little boy in the world He's so small because like you know when you meet other people's kids I told you it's different when it's your own I've never had that like connection with a child before now I do have my godson Jamie which I've adored and loved and I've always adored and loved

him and then when Jasper came along anyone else's kids who've showed me who's not biologically related to me I'm just like go away like yeah you're nice and all but I've never felt that like.

Unconditional love yeah it's completely different when it's your family to be fair and I'm not a child person but I do don't get me wrong I love kids but I have very low tolerance for anyone else's kids apart from my own or people that are very close to me they're kids like if I see another child on the street that I don't know and I love kids acting up I'm like, even though it's not I'm like shut up like kick them do you ever just want to

kick a child no I've never wanted to physically assault a child oh I have in my mind I'm like just shut up yeah no I've felt like I wanted to you little whingy bastard like shut up and give your man that fucking break, I felt like I wanted to assault a child but I never would no no Because it's not appropriate and I don't want to get arrested. It's the only reason. But it's just like you're wanting to fuck animals. Yeah. If it was legal, I'd probably do it. You know?

But best not Best not It's not in the interest Of the animals' health Or your health So we'll leave the animals alone We'll leave the animals And the kids alone I don't know With the way Trump is going He might bring in a lot Of that fucking BCL He is legal again The way he's legalized I don't know, See the way he's after He defo is fucked a dog He is a dog He is a dog But he's after like Pardoning all the, All the guys who Went on the riots Yeah but that's a lot of There's a lot of

things About that Because Iron was telling me About that And he was like all about the pardon but fucking Biden before he left pardoned 8,000 people before he left office. Biden did? Yeah. 8,000. They'd always like... But he had to because he pardoned his son so he couldn't pardon his son and not pardon other people. Oh, he pardoned a load of people I was kind of trying to explain when I was trying to half listen but some of the people I can't remember who he said pardoned.

I was like, oh my God. And the poor Tiger King still in prison. No one pardoned him. Trump wouldn't even answer the phone to him. God bless him. Bless him. Justice for Tiger King. Justice for Tiger King. That was some series.

I love that. I nearly watched that again. That was the best part of COVID. But anyway, let's get back to fricking business. Let's get back to it. So I was very organized in our little break and was putting up NGL. Zina just forgot about the pod's existence for a little while. No, I didn't forget about it. I was taking a break. Well-deserved break. Yeah, yeah. From the pod. Yeah, yeah.

And I put up an NGL for people, for women to give advice to men or women during sex and men to give advice to women or men, depending on your orientation during sex. And I got a few in a lot of the same stuff, to be honest. Really? I have some random things. Yeah, and you have some random. So we'll start off with some random bits and then we'll get down to it. Okay. The reason I love listening to your podcast is because you both never fail to

make me giggle and always put a smile on my face. It always helps that you guys are Irish. Always pleasant for the Scottish ears. Scottish. You have said 2025 is your year to be brutal. I'd let you do the worst to me for sure. Oh. Oh wow. Girl or boy. I'd say that's girl, is it? I don't know. Well I hope it's a girl. Scottish I love the Scottish accent A Scottish dirty accent Let me fuck you Let me fuck you No that's kind of Northern Ireland Let me fuck you Scottish Scottish Go the fuck.

I'm so wet No but I find the Scottish accent Like quite aggressive It is It is It's sexy though It's sexy I love it It's sexy And I do like the Welsh accent as well Yeah Welsh accent's nice And I love the Liverpoolian accent Liverpoolian Liverpoolian I'm never putting you on a little pill. I love a little pill. I want a sucky vagina. You sounded like Barney. I want a sucky vagina. Anyway, thank you so much for that nice message.

Yeah, that was cute. Yeah, that is the year we're going to be brutal. Try anyway. I don't think we can be any more brutal on this pod, to be fair. No, I'm going to be a bitch this year. That's what my promise to myself is. I'm going to be an absolute cunt. Because I've been a nice person for so long. It hasn't gotten nowhere.

No, it doesn't get anywhere. It hasn't gotten me anywhere. so fuck everybody fuck you fuck you and everybody you listen to the podcast I don't give a shit you don't listen to it fuck off, just messing love you all somebody else wrote into mine and said please tell me you guys do parties because I would happily pay you to just show up at my best friend's birthday she's obsessed about it imagine I'd love to iron ourselves out to just arrive at this yeah

we talked about this like last year mid last year when we were like six months into podcasts that we would love to like organise people's parties and bring the fuck-ass. Oh yeah. Bring the chaos. Do you know what I mean? But like we're so fucking like we're fucking we so fucking we so. We're not Scottish now. We're back to Irish. That sounded more Asian. I like to revert back to the Asian accent every now and again. But like...

I'd be kind of nervous doing things like that because our people are going to expect two wild fucking freaks because we're actually not like that to be fair when we go out. No. Like we go out and we dance and we just chash it and we have a laugh. Very respectful. No I wouldn't go that far. Like me in the toilets.

Yeah we wouldn't be that wild. Like we're going to laugh to go out drinking and we'll always have a laugh and we'll like do stupid things but like we're not fucking like taking our knickers off and hanging ourselves off the fucking ceiling with it like. No. I'd hang myself out the ceiling in the private my own company.

Do you know what I mean yeah but no we're not afraid to embarrass ourselves no that's true but you want a party give us your budget let me and Danny organise the whole thing and we will fucking and we'll, we'll not DC but MC the whole night DC it'd be like a hangover it'd be like a hangover movie yeah because if we're getting paid to do it we're gonna make it like y'all have to sign a waiver yeah so that'd be your own warning oh my god yeah I wanna do that yeah that'd be

so fucking fun okay okay someone said I'm so envious listening to your podcast with how great your sex life is I know lots of people that brag about their sex lives and you can tell they are exaggerating but you sound so genuine I struggle with my mental health and I feel like my partner doesn't want me or find me attractive help well, yeah we do have pretty sexy help.

We have sexy help sexy help lives I feel like my sex life is pretty healthy anyway but that doesn't say like that it is all the time no there's definitely there's like weeks where I'm just like no don't touch me do you see it well me and Aaron haven't got to that stage yet because like we're together like, only not a couple of months I don't know eight months or whatever so our sex life is still kind of like a couple of times a day when we're together but we

still have a week where we're not together and we don't have sex so we just kind of make up for it.

But like in other relationships I've had like there's definitely been dry spells but I think I'm more sexually compatible with Aaron than anybody else that I've been with so that's why it makes it easier And I do think it's important to define It's my hair, It's just I'm a little too Sorry about my hair guys I don't care, As she fixes it But I think sometimes people Can end up in a relationship Where they're emotionally And like relationship compatible But sometimes the sex isn't

As compatible as what you'd like Yeah I feel like It's the same with me and Jade We are very compatible Yeah, But it's like not perfect all the time It's mostly me Anytime that it's like Not great It's kind of always my fault Because I go through those stages And I'm just like Don't touch me I kind of get a little bit depressed every now and then my emotions go up and down but Jade understands even though she gets frustrated with me she still understands she

never holds it against me or whatever yeah like if you're struggling with your mental health like that's a conversation but sometimes I'd imagine your partner like if you're struggling with your mental health and you probably feel shit about yourself and you probably don't feel sexy or as you would usually like you're probably. Giving that energy to your partner as well so you might be unknowingly making it difficult for your partner to approach you to have a bit of sexy time yeah.

Like, because men need foreplay as well. You know, not foreplay as in sexual, but men need a build-up to get themselves in the mood, especially if you're in a settled relationship. You need to, like, kind of make it known that you definitely want a bit of sex. Yeah. Like, he's not. He's going to jump at the chance. But also, you know what I find, right? So they say that it's so important to, the people you spend your time with is where you get your energy from. Yes.

So if you spend most of your time with your partner, but that partner is depressed all the time because they're struggling with mental health, it's most likely your partner is going to rub off on that as well. and they're going to feel that energy too. So it's like definitely so important to work together as a team to fix problems and to be like transparent about things and not take things personally and then work from there.

Do you know what I mean? Like a pick if you find that your sex life has taken a bit of a hit because of your mental health find something that you enjoy to do and that makes you happy whether that be go for a walk whether it be do a dance class whether it be go for a drink whether it be go for dinner and do that with your partner and if it's something that you will enjoy your energy be better and he will get enjoyment looking at you being happy and he

will become happy like you said and the energy will rub off on him and Dan.

Dan Dan Dan you're going to go have some nasty sex but you know what else is good advice right you might not want to you can hire me and Zina to give you a quick finger either yeah don't mind Jade won't mind if I get paid for it like fingers are there mine are quite short but they're fast they're nice and like thick yeah you won't get the length but you'll get the girt yeah I've got the length but I don't have I have the skinniness do we though.

But anyway right sometimes if you don't want to have sex right sometimes the best thing to do is to just fucking have it yeah because you're not when you're in it and you never regret having sex afterwards afterwards you're just like oh I'm glad I fucking did that now it's just the initial starting point and the thoughts of it sometimes hold you back a little bit but just do it yeah once you get geared up you're gonna 100%

be like oh I'm totally into this just force yourself to have sex and you'll enjoy it, like best advice ever no consent but just like do it anyway just force yourself it's fine you'd be grand grow up.

Alright another one confession I had the most passionate kinky sex with my now ex husband's cousin a year before getting together with my now ex husband we told my ex what happened it was like it was oh I think we never told my ex what happened it was like it was our little dirty secret that's kind of hot but like if you fucked him a year before it's not really yeah but do you think she should tell him like afterwards when she realised they

were cousins she was just like oh I actually had sex with your cousin yeah but sometimes like when you don't realise that they were cousins and then you start seeing and then they're at like a family adventure and I can't really be like oh my god I fucked him oh no that would kill me what kills me in a relationship is do not have fucking secrets from me yeah between someone else who was in my life like don't do that to me yeah fair like so if Jade was

to have sex with one of my cousins and they had this dirty little secret behind my back and I found out I would be I'd be heartbroken that would kill me yeah because you would 100% like go to the fact that they get excitement that they have that little secret together Yeah but I, automatically feel stupid Yeah It's like Do you know what I mean?

Yeah even though it's probably not intended on their behalf but you as the person that's happened to it you probably would feel a little bit stupid I would feel stupid I would want to know She's definitely wanking to that idea Yeah You dirty little bitch I'd be wanking to it later as well One of Jade's cousins Gimme gimme gimme.

Right so My partner always wants me to give him head but pre-cum and cum in general gives me the gawks, Even the tosses up, but he keeps pushing it as he's really into it. How do I get over my cum issue or should I have to? Just fucking don't do it. Do what I did when I was 15. Ask a guy to put a johnny on before giving him a blowjob. But he said no. Is giving a blowjob and asking someone to put a johnny on beforehand like a no-go?

Yeah, really. It's not, like maybe for some people, but like I've never done that. Yeah. Well, I was only 15. And at the time I put it in my mouth. I didn't put it in my mouth afterwards anyway. I couldn't do it. But maybe ask your boyfriend to put a Johnny on. No, but he's getting, it's the cum, him cumming in her mouth. Do you know what you do, right? Do what I do. Now, I've swallowed, I never swallowed. Can't stand it.

It reminds me of snot and everybody on this pod knows that I have a fear of snot and fucking, what's that shit? Flem. Flem, yeah. And that's what it reminds me, the texture reminds me of that. But like I've done it, I don't mind pre-cum because pre-cum is small, it's not the taste that bothers me, it's the texture. But, I've let Aron do it once or twice and like I'm gagging as it's going down. Yeah, and I'm gagging as it's going down.

Whereas now if he wants to come in my mouth, like I'll just get him over me and like stick my tongue out and let him come all over my face and it's dripping in my mouth. So he kind of gets the same idea but that blast of hocker isn't going into the back of my fucking neck. Does it shoot out real fast? Real fast. Depends on how long. Like if we've already, usually when I do it with him, we've already had sex a couple of times before that day.

So like it would be nice and watery and it wouldn't be too bad. But if you haven't had sex in a few days, Or wanked in a few days. And then it comes out like. And it's just. Now I can imagine because I got a water flosser. Right. I did. I got a water flosser. And sometimes I floss my teeth. Sometimes. It's gunky. I move and it hits the back of my tonsil. Yeah. It is. And then. But like I don't mind hitting the back of my tonsil.

Like that'll just make you instantly kind of gag a bit anyway. But it's the texture. No I can't. I couldn't. Of a slide down the neck. So. Alright. She doesn't like to deal with the cum in any way. Well don't do it then babes.

Yeah but he likes blowjobs Do you know what I mean He likes his blowjobs Yeah but like Just cum on her face Or cum on her lips Or cum on her tongue Where you can just let Dribble off Yeah it has to be compromised Okay let's move on, Like that's what I Like last week Aaron just kind of Straddled on me And my head was here And I was kind of like Sucking him off Yeah And then, I started sucking his balls And he started finishing himself off And then he

just like Came all over my face But my mouth was open Well I closed it actually Because I was like No don't get in But I had the intention My mouth was open and the tongue was out and I was like ah like that and then he started to come down and I was like. I've heard some shocking things, right? I really have. And me and Danny have had some shocking conversations.

Every time you talk about Aaron getting, you giving him, I can't even say, you giving him blowjob and coming all over your face, I'm like disgusted all the time. Sorry. Like, and I don't mean to be. I feel rude then because I'm so disgusted and I'm just like, that's okay. It's not your thing. It's not my thing. It's not your thing, babes. It's not your thing, babes. Okay, moving on from the cum thing, all right?

Confession. When my boyfriend pisses me off, I wipe my fanny with his towel after a wee. Fair play to you, girl. I've done that. Fair play. Have you? Yeah.

To who? You better not have done that in my head. Not somebody that's pissed me off, but like if there's no toilet roll, I'll just use the towel and put it back on the towel, right? Everybody's done that, girl. Let's be real. No, they have not. No one has done that, Dani. I've done it. Libby's done it. That's two against one. You wipe your fanny with a towel and then put it back on the rack. Yeah. You put it back on the rack. Yeah.

No, I'm sorry. That is too unhinged I've done it to yours No Danny You better not have You better not have Wiped your fanny In my fucking towel And put it back in the rack I've used the sock That's been on the floor And put it back where it was Swear on my life, No I'm not swearing on your life I am I have done that before With a towel But it is from the comfort Of my own home And if anybody else wants I have my own separate towel Why would I just throw it in the bin?

Why would I throw it in the bin? It's not as if there's fucking gangrene Hanging off my minge Throw it in the wash Don't hang it back up on the rack Jesus Christ, No, why would I put it in the wash? I've got to use it later on. Sure, like, it's clean. I've got a clean vagina. What are you going to use it later on for? Fresh air? Dammie! I'm sorry. No, this, I'm cancelling this episode. That's rotten. You literally want someone to piss on you, but you can't handle a bit of fucking vagina juice.

I'm not going to wipe their piss off me with a towel and hang it back up on the rack so I can fucking dry my hands with it later. It's not as if I'm still pissing as I'm wiping my fucking body. I'm not pissing. No, I know for a fact that everyone listening is agreeing with me right now. Right, we're going to put this out. That's the dirtiest sliding to the NGL on the link. There's 100% women done that before. No one. That's the dirtiest skankiest thing

I've ever heard. Right, we're going to put it on. Dirtiest skankiest thing to hang it back up. Yeah. Fair enough wipe away a towel but to hang it back up on the fucking towel rack to be used. Sorry, I had that towel there that you have in the bar. I'm sorry I had to wipe my minge with it but you can have a sniff on it later on if you don't want to wash it. Y'all are disgusting. I can't get down with that. And I'm an open-minded person, but that's just after

blowing me away. Oh, you're such a prude. A prude? That's nothing to be prudish. That's not prudish. That's just fucking basic hygiene. No, yeah. It is, but I'm using the towel on myself. No wonder you have UTIs all the time. You're wiping yourself with the fucking towels over and over again with the fucking piss on them. How long do you think I leave my towel on the fucking rack for? I don't know. Nothing will shock me now at this stage. You don't even know me anymore,

Zina. What's going on? What is going on? That's disgusting. You're disgusting. That's disgusting. Yeah. It's my own towel. My own juices. Okay. Currently healing from incredibly mentally damaging situation. Yeah, me too. Right now, I don't know if I'm going to heal from that. No, hold on. Currently healing from an incredibly mentally damaging situationship. He did a number on me and I've been struggling with depression since.

But the petty bitch in me is fucking his best friend tonight. Why? Because I can. Yeah, bitch, you heal whatever way you need to heal. Situations, breakups, situationships end in nearly worse than a relationship.

I remember when I was first kind of it was after my split and it was the first kind of guy that I caught a bit of feelings for and he knew I'd caught feelings for him and we were like chatting every day and we'd met up a few times or whatever, and like when things he was going through a lot at home he had like a kind of difficult home life like when it came to ex-partners and kids and stuff like that and he just didn't have the head to continue which

was totally fair but I was fucking distraught like remember I came up to you like that weekend and all I did was lie and see in his bed bawling my eyes out Now I met up with this man three times and we were tags for three months. He did a number on you. He did. The last time the way he finished it wasn't nice at all. No it wasn't. He wasn't deserving. He was lucky I didn't fucking call his house and.

Do things but yeah like I found that breakup from the situationship of three months harder to heal than the breakdown of my 11-year relationship that I have a child with yeah but I think it's I think it's more difficult because it's you're upset over what you not what you want the what's the word the potential yes you're upset over kind of the potential yeah I was obviously very vulnerable I wasn't let out of I just presumed that I was going to get out of a relationship

and I kind of was still very vulnerable, and one of my oldest friends died in the meantime as I was seeing him so I was very vulnerable and I was very like not in a right headspace You just wanted to be loved I just wanted to be loved that was it And he could have been loved by anybody Yeah Do you know at that moment All I wanted was him though Yeah But look everyone has that relationship where you go through something and you carry all that damage through the rest

of your fucking life and sometimes you just can't get rid of it It'll always be there Yeah but to be fair to that situation that I had like it taught me a lot about myself and it taught me like don't be fucking giving yourself, the soft side of yourself to everybody and all and like it made me because I'd never dated properly anyway probably in my whole entire life I've always been in long term relationships so it gave me an insight to what dating in 2024 was like and it kind of toughened

me up and then I became a fucking man eater yeah we did I did I became an asshole yeah and like but and Aaron loved it. No I'd I'd given up men sure remember for ages before I met Aaron because I was like no I'm not turning into not that I wasn't a nice person but I wasn't, I'm very nice to men and men got the wrong idea of that and when they were like okay I kind of have a bit of a feelings for you or whatever I was like whoa yeah bye bye do you know what I mean yeah but like I had given up.

Kind of anything to do with men for a couple of months before me and Aaron that just kind of came out of nowhere and I was very healed yeah not very healed but I was not an ass anymore I get you but yeah if you're riding the fucking friend guard keep it up and take videos and send it to yeah nothing will heal your trauma like spite woo we love spite so, we are going to go into the little section that I asked where men or women give

advice to the opposite sex or somebody that you're having sex with one bit of advice what would you give them? Right. And I got quite few in but a lot of them are of the same team. Okay. Master the being and stop wasting our damn time. Important one. Yeah. Very obvious one though as well. Yeah but I'm not really a being person though. Do you know what I mean? I think it's because mine's like I feel like I'm a toppy or something. Oh.

It's okay. It's totally fine with me. Just a little bit wet now I'm thinking about that. Jokes. Jokes Erin. Please don't hit me. Jokes.

But yeah Mastering the bean Is important But a lot of people Well I don't know Everybody's different But like some people like I'm all about the bean Yeah see I'm not I'm all about the area Around the bean And it's not just like Touch it in any way Whatsoever you want There's a certain way That I like it Touch so I'm very particular Yeah But I think anybody That like can come through Like messing with the bean And stuff It has to be

done Kind of a certain way Yeah But everybody I'd imagine Like would Jade come with this Well Jade would come If you fucking sneeze On her fanny Yeah she would Yeah she's, I'm very lucky because I get away with it lightly because I don't have to really really work for her No she comes so easily She does She just loves everything I do But then could anybody make her come?

Yeah well I nearly made her come and then he snapped me Oh 2025, we don't talk about the treasome anymore Oh sorry I thought we were going to get away with it this year without mentioning it but okay we might as well start our trend again and talk about the treasome in every episode that we have We had a treasome y'all, For all the new listeners here in 2025 that haven't listened to season one of 2024 we've had a threesome me, Dani and Jade it was awesome that's all I'll

say about that that's all you need to say that's all I'll say about that that's all you need to say yeah. So yeah Master the Bean another person said don't just bait it into me slow it down and enjoy the build up more I think that's important for women as well I think you need to now don't get me wrong I love it being bait into me but I also like a mix of the boat yeah like I'm mad into slow central sex I've seen a video The other day, right?

So it was like, no, it wasn't porn. It was someone talking about sexual health. But, so men need a boner to have sex, right? So they need to be aroused, okay? If a woman is not aroused, she won't be able to come. So it's like women have the same tissue that men have, only it's built different. Yeah. So if you just bait it into her without like arousing her first, then the orgasm isn't going to come. No. Do you know? So it's like.

If a man can imagine trying to fucking comb on the flop and being inside a woman it's not it's not going to be nice that's majority of what women feel like when you just throw it into it foreplay is very very important for women because women cannot get now you can get you can be horny easily but to like get that proper build up and stuff you need to work on it the tissue has to be stimulated whereas a man can just put it in bathe away and then like he's going to comb whereas a woman needs

a build up and it needs arousal and like sensuality and stuff to it but the woman in the video she was saying women might like that where it's just bet straight into them and they might still come but they will come better if the tissue around the area is stimulated beforehand yes which makes sense that's great advice great advice we are starting this year off excellent I learned everything from TikTok yeah same everything TikTok

does a bible I learned more from TikTok than I ever did in school yeah amazing it is amazing amazing, and to not just pay your partner attention and kissing, cuddling, et cetera, when looking to have sex, do it all the time. That's very important. I had this conversation with Jade. Oh. I was like, you stop. I was like, you stop it right now. Stop being nice to me. Give me all the attention. I was like, just because you want fucking sex. And she was like, I'm not.

Big smile on her face. I was like, Jade, I know you. I know you. I can see that you're manipulating me. I can see it. And she was like, I swear I'm not. I was like, I said, you can't just want sex off me when you fucking want it. She was like okay That is true though She was like a bold child She was like okay.

Stamping her feet Yeah I know When Jade's been nice to me And doing things for me I'm like She just wants fucking sex She's just fucking horny Yeah But it's true though A lot of partners do Like men and women do it It's a natural thing It is totally Because if you're getting in the mood You're wanting a romance And dance Your partner Do you know what I mean Yeah But it's good that they do that Yeah It'd be worse if they weren't Kissing and cuddling you When they're

wanting something It could be just like Oh just lay it on you With no bit of foreplay Up onto it Yeah, no, I don't want that either. Because foreplay to women could be like washing the dishes or like that's foreplay. Make me tea, bitch. Yeah, make me a cup of tea. Make me tea. Yeah. We'll go down on you after I finish that last sip. Yeah. I will. Yeah, I will. I will. You know what I mean? She will. For extra brownie points, bring me, bring me, bring me, bring me a chocolate

or a biscuit to dip in my tea. Yeah. Oh, she's going to get feral then. Yeah. Feral. You don't want to see what Zina does when she gets tea and fucking chocolate biscuits. I've been at the other end of that now and it's pleasant and unpleasant at the same time yeah it's a wild ride it's a wild ride it's a wild ride yeah.

When giving head please plenty of spit sloppy not just lips up and down oh and give us the eyes yeah when you're sucking a dick it can't be dry it has to be is that a man yeah it has to be sloppy yeah okay see because I was thinking obviously because I'm a lesbian so I was thinking about Jade sometimes Jade doesn't like it too wet yeah but I do find when it's too wet women lose a little bit of sensitivity. Yeah, I'm the opposite. So Jade doesn't like it too wet because if it gets too

wet, then exactly, she loses sensitivity. Whereas me, I have to be like, drowned. Yeah. And I love that. Like, that's when... Oh, no, I don't. I kind of like it.

Don't get me wrong. I love a bit of spit on it because like the whole like feeling of it, but like, Like I want like Because I like being sucked and stuff So like that dryness And that like the sensitivity Is not there as much When it's slop But for men Men love the sloppiness Oh spit on me The taps automatically come on anyway Just the Toa Like oh Yes, Treat me like a dirty little bitch Dirty little bitch, Don't use your teat during oral And don't This made me laugh And don't bounce

up and down About two foot in the air.

Imagine somebody you're riding you right you had a dick and somebody was riding yeah they were just bouncing up too high and her dick's only 3 inches yeah and they're halfway up in the fucking ceiling oh god that's funny that's funny but like you can't you can't, I'm not I'm not really a bouncer imagine trying to land back on it though that's what I mean you'd want good kind of no see even that bouncy you'd lose the dick I'm like oh the poor balls my tits are fucking do it again.

My tits are killing me are they Are you getting your period? Yeah Are you? Oh sorry Don't stat Do it again Do it again, Yeah Yeah don't bounce too high Know that Like work with the equipment That you've got Yeah Because even if you have a big dick And you bounce too high It's going to fucking flop out But like Especially with women Like if you bounce up too high What's wrong? If you bounce up too high and it comes out by accident and then you bounce down

hard, the dick is just going to go. Yeah, you're not on a ride on a fun and fair love. No. Calm the fuck down. You're not riding the GGs into the Grand National now. Calm down. No one asked for the G-force. No. The G-force on the G-G. Mind your poor guy's testicles and his penis. And his penis. But this whole teeth thing, is that not just like obvious? Yeah. Oh, don't lose your teeth. Maybe some men do it. No, but like it's, it depends on your mouth as well.

Like if you have quite thin lips And maybe big teeth I can imagine It can be teaty Giving a blowjob Yeah Maybe some men like Teat a bit of teeth Tiny bit of teeth Bit of scraping, Scraping all the cheese off Give me a floss baby.

Men rubbing my left lip Isn't doing anything for me No That's a common mistake Yeah Very common mistake You're not on your own No Happens to us all Yeah Find In between the lips guys In between the lips If somebody's rubbing Right If you're Because a lot of people Don't like talking up During sex And talking And saying what they like And they don't like They find it awkward Especially if it's a bit Of a one night stand Or a friend with benefits And he's rubbing your left lip Girl just,

Lift up and scooch No Scooch No that doesn't work Because you lift up and scooch And then they're like Why'd you do that And then they move back, It's like a game Monopoly going around the board And then no one says anything So he's in his head going Why That must have been a mistake So he goes back to the left lip And he's rubbing the lip And then you move again And he's like what is going on and then all of a sudden you're off the bed and you're in the

corner of the room because you just keep moving and no one's saying anything so just communicate do you know what I mean again or, grab his hand and just be like like if he's just focusing on the left lip just grab his hand and just slide it and then just be like oh yeah and men love the idea of women like, touching themselves and stuff yeah I just I don't know why I'm picturing men just like this, a lot of them do be like that to be fair just like that they're nice.

You like that, do you? Just real like concentrating on me. Yeah, right on and they put pressure. Yeah. No. It's around the area. You're like, no, I don't like it. Oh, okay. I'm glad they go harder and faster then. I'll continue anyway.

Because I like it. You know? So is your hand. Yeah. Tongue out and on. Are you sure you don't like that? Because I kind of feel like you do like it. No, I don't like it, babe. Oh, well, just another few minutes like this. Trust me. You'll learn to love it. It's fine. And then that's when you just, you're like, oh yeah, baby. Oh, thanks. Done. And he's like, see, I told you. With one swollen left flap and the other one

nearly shriveling inside you. Yeah, and him with the confidence up to the roof. Yeah, I told you, babe, just listen to me. Just listen. I know your body more than you know yourself. You're like, yeah, babe, sorry. I've seen the way your body was moving. I've seen you going cross-eyed. Yeah, going cross-eyed from the fucking pain. Yeah, you're like, okay, daddy, yeah. Yeah, oh, daddy. Keep doing that. Stop talking about wanting to make me cum and actually listen to me and my body

to learn what to do to make me come. That's true. A lot of men put too much focus into making a woman come. Well, I'm one of those people, you know, when you're talking to someone and I'm just like, oh, I'm going to do this, I'm going to do that. I build myself up so hard and then I meet them. That's giving you, that's giving you the confidence though because like you kind of get awkward.

But it makes me more anxious because I'm like, I'm at the top of a huge game here and now I'm like, I'm probably like 50%, 30% to what I say I am, to what they're expecting. I think everybody does that though. I think everybody would think. It's a bit of foreplay, like, it's a bit of dirty talk. No, I think from now on, like, just make your, like, your sex and just honest, be like, I might make you cum, Bebs. And mediocre. But you know what? Can't wait to might make you cum. Yeah, can't wait.

And mediocre. Yeah, don't put yourself up on that pedestal. Just put it out there. Don't expect too much. Yeah. I'll give it my best damn try. But like, you know, that could be shite. I would appreciate the honesty. That's fair. For men, this is important. For men to actually make noise. Silent sex is horrible. And even if it is a friends with benefits, getting up and leaving instantly is the biggest mood killer ever. Brother, ooh. Ooh, brother, ooh. This never happened to me.

Thank God. No one's ever got up and left. See, I've never had a one night stand. See, I would have been the person that if I was like sleeping with somebody and like I didn't really have feelings for them, it was just kind of a bit of fun or whatever. Just get up and leave. No, I'd be the one and be like, all right, the kids are going to be back now in the morning. Yeah, but straight away though. Yeah. Oh, really? Yeah, no, I'd be like,

oh, that would kill me. The kids wouldn't be back in the morning. If I slept with someone and they were like straight away after, they're like, okay, you need to like get an Uber now. And I'd be like, I'd be so embarrassed. I'd be so embarrassed. That would like kill my, just like stared at your tit for too long there. Oh! I was like, I forgot what I was saying. So I was in the middle of something there and Danny's tit just popped out I was just like Where am I?

I forgot where I was For two seconds See my face You know I forgot where I was For two seconds Completely So, I thought you were Sitting on about A story that they Asked you to get out They asked you to leave And you were like Oh sorry I was just staring At your tip for too long I thought was part of the story Oh I forgot Why am I getting an Uber?

Crab's here So don't even do Ubers Over here do they? Yeah like a lot There's a lot of people It depends Like oh Some people feel, like if it's just sex, some people feel awkward. Like there was like one guy that I had slept with and I was atrociously drunk. Now, obviously I consented to it. I'm not saying this person took advantage of me or anything, but I was atrociously drunk. I was a mess and I said yeah, even though I wouldn't. Like you remember it.

Yeah, I remember it. Well, a little bit of it, but if I was sober,

I wouldn't have said yeah, if you know what I mean. But... I didn't do it against my will like it was a willing participant or whatever but I kind of sobered up halfway through and I was like what the fuck am I doing, and I was just kind of like I think I know what you're talking about yeah and I was just granddad yeah and I was just like, no I was like in the middle of it I just looked at my phone and he was on top and I was like,

the kids are going to be back in a couple of hours so and he was like oh do you want me to go I was like yeah they'll be back early the kids weren't coming back no I was there I was downstairs when all this was taking part. So Dani might have like woke up in the middle of it, came to her senses and be like, oh my God, what am I doing? But me and Jade were downstairs going, what the fuck is she doing? You was worried.

They were trying to convince me to not let, like there's nothing wrong with this person. It's just they knew I wouldn't have been interested usually like. We were like, Dani, no. And you're like, I don't care, it's just sex. I just need sex, just want to come. And I was like, oh, okay then. And I waved goodbye to him as he left the house. he put his coat on I was like wow that was quick that was quick oh yuck I love how we give no one context we're just like yeah granddad granddad.

You know no context yeah but um yeah silent sex men make noise there's nothing that turns me on and get me more moist yeah than a man that makes noise during sex I want to hear you having the time of your life fake it if you have to yeah moan I don't make enough apparently to jade Oh you make a lot of noise So I will make some noise But Jade wants And more and more But then I feel like Look if I give more Then I feel like I'm

faking it Faking it yeah I might not be faking it But like it's like You overthink it Yeah do you know what I mean Like I do make noise But I'm not like, Overly Yeah So then with Jade Like Jade would just be like I really like when you make noise And then I'm like Trying to make noise And I'm just like Yeah you're like How do I do it Yeah. I'm like I'll change the bins baby I'm going to say that to her next time she asks me to make more noise.

Somebody said speak up if it's good let them know if it's bad give them direction Yeah that's fair Very much so Yeah We've said that lots of times A lot of people do find it like I know I've said it earlier on as well but a lot of people do find it difficult to give direction especially women, I've never Don't say that about women No but they do They find it hard to speak up when they're not enjoying All the men at home going yeah women are fucking

terrible with directions Yeah We are No but when it comes to Women are people pleasers. So, and women love to feed Menzi like... There's people, women that have sex, they put on a show. They might not, they're doing it for the satisfaction of the man, but they get off on the man having the satisfaction. Yeah. But I find that, like, I would have found it years ago hard to communicate in the bedroom and stuff. And there was things that I was just letting slide and pretend that I liked

that I didn't like. Yeah, because you're... Not that I was really didn't like it, but it wasn't doing anything for me. Yeah, but I'd say that was you just going, you know what, I actually don't care. Yeah, it was. Like, you just didn't care anymore. No. Do you know what I mean? So it's just like, just do whatever. Whatever, just get this over and done with. Just get it over and done with, you know? So, yeah. Are we done? Have we come to the end of the podcast? Have we come?

Let me see. Use a bottle of poppers in the bedroom. Amazing sex. Have you ever used poppers? I used poppers in sixth class, in maths class. Is that the thing you sniff? Yeah, I sniffed it, yeah. Well, how would that make sex amazing? Because it widens your asshole, I think. Yeah, but that's only just for anal, though. No, I think it does something to women's vaginas as well. It kind of loosens up the muscles. Will we get poppers?

I remember I did poppers before years ago I was probably 17 and it was in a bathroom but it blew the head off me like it made me feel woozy I couldn't think of anything worse You get proper high I was seeing blue dots and everything I couldn't think of anything worse than having sex in that moment because I was fighting for my life Yeah No they're not nice I didn't like it anyway I was in the middle of maths class though as well so obviously I didn't like it The teacher was

asking me to complete a thing on the class Where did you even buy poppers? Someone brought them into school Nowadays where would you even get them? Don't know I haven't a clue Look I'm sure there's other things you can get these days I want them to bring out like like a Viagra for women where you're just guaranteed to come every time Is there not a Viagra for women?

There is but it just gets them stimulated if you know what I mean like I want people to bring out a pill that just you take the pill and whatever little teeny tiny little.

Microorganisms are in the pill that they just go directly to the clitoris and they're all like and they're massaging it inside, so if Elon Musk right To rectify the mistake you made With that fucking salute Create a little pill That makes me calm all the time That they do all the little work That I can just sit on my sofa With a cup of tea Take pill And then it go down to little men Little men's shoulders Going right into my little Teeny tiny microscopic clitoris Because,

They're going to be the only ones That'll find it No not men Because they'd still be on the left flap You'd be like Why is my left flap tingling so much?

Yeah well Elon Musk There's an idea to redeem Just make them women Put the little women in the pill Put little women put little women in the pills because they know exactly where to go microscopic little women and they'll run down and then they'll go in and they'll push my clit out and then they'll get into the clit and then they'll just massage with me inside and I'll be sitting there having a Sunday roast and I'll be coming away yeah.

What's stopping you doing it do it do you ever see those women though who have the medical conditions and they come all the time that looks awful though it does and it hurts them yeah but they're coming like multiple times a minute like would you really want to have an orgasm while you're cooking a Sunday roast yeah I would no in the middle of cooking and not stopping no in the middle of eating it though I would if I'm sitting there eating my roast beef I'll buy my roast beef is getting beefed.

Eating her roast beef while her roast beef is getting beefed. That's for a t-shirt. Sitting there eating my roast beef while my roast beef is getting beefed. I liked that. Yeah. And on that note, I think we've come to the end of the broadcast. We have come to the end of the broadcast. Because Dani's got to go do her dance class. She's doing dance classes now. If you want to go to Dani's dance class, it's called It's a Vibe. Yeah. Because it is, in fact, a vibe.

So, if you would like to go to Dani's dance class It's a Vibe, please contact Dani at... From It's a Vibe. Danny at itsavibe.com vibe Speaking of vibes Gotta go, I'm gonna go and have my own vibe now Vibrate turn Anyway We'll see you in the next cartoon Bye. Music.