16. Devilish Delusion with Deplorable Janet

Hi and welcome back to another episode of Deplorable Nation. I'm your host Deplorable Janet, and today I have two of my favorite female friends that are back with me today. I'm so excited that we're doing a nether ladies round table and this one is going to be very helpful and very useful I think, to a lot of people. So welcome back, Miss Ellie. How are you today? I'm good. How are you? Fabulous. Fabulous and Miss Heidi. How are you? Darn. Good.

How is everybody? Everybody's good today. More than fabulous, everybody's sniffy, snuffy and allergy laden today. Oh yes, that is true. We are. So if you guys hear boohooing and tears, I don't know if it's really boohooing and tears because we're sad or moved or it's because everyone's have allergy problems. True, 100% of that, definitely. So today is going to be a very interesting show.

We have several different things that we want to discuss with the listeners today and probably some things that are going to hit home for a lot of people on a lot of different levels. So I want to start off with a little story that happened to me this morning. Most people don't know unless you talk to me all the time. However, we had to make a move recently, very quickly and very unexpectedly.

And so we went from out in the country wilderness and more into kind of a city setting or whatever with, you know, lack of wildlife per se and things like that. So my husband and I were talking about it yesterday and I said, you know what? I really miss? I said I miss getting up every day and seeing Eagles and Hawks in our yard. And this morning we go outside, he comes out, we're talking about God, talking about the Bible, and all of the sudden a hawk lands on our fence.

And I just had to take a pause and tell God thank you because I said I missed that yesterday. And the reason why I brought up this story is because a lot of people, when they move, they miss the house, which is a materialistic thing. I missed God's creation, the Eagles and the Hawks, and he presented that with to me today so that I could give thanks and be grateful for the blessing and the miracle that he just

revealed in my life. Because it wasn't focused on materialism or manmade things, it was on his creation show. I just wanted to share that story today because it was quite punching to me this morning. Well, he showed you that your home is wherever you are, I think absolutely. And that blessings come in so many different forms. They don't have to be something big, something simple like that.

And it just touched me so deeply because I was like, thank you, thank you so much for providing that for me because that was, that was like a beautiful sign for me to start the day today. So anyways. I love that. So we want to get into lots of different topics today, but one of the things that is definitely going on modern day times, literally every day from every angle, is a tax on God. So I will give the floor to you guys and have at it. That is such a broad topic Jada we talk about.

You guys talk? Wait a minute. Well, I think. I think also like God. I feel like people have misconstrued it so badly, like we were saying is. God is in everything. God is in that, that hawk. God is in the sky. God is in the. I live by the mountains. They're right outside my door. So I love the mountains. God is in the mountains for me. You know my personal which is why I have that on my logo and everything because that represents church to me, like, not church.

And and a lot of people might disagree with that and I think the disillusionment comes from. Man is you know they say that that scripture that man is always a liar like he's not. But I'm just saying like sometimes people put their faith in a man and and in a situation like I did and and come out hating everything. Most Mormons that leave the church are hate everything after they they don't want anything to do with God. They not everything in general,

but like I'm atheist. And so I didn't do that. Thank heavens my mom had already got out and she was a Stevens minister and she was like feeding me little things for a long time. And so was my husband. So I felt like, safer that this isn't God that did this to you. This was people. Yeah. So and and even the church, like, I know most of my family, most of his family all are still in. And they are not bad people. Like I listen to some of these.

Podcasts about Mormons, and I've sent messages to a few of them when I've heard people on that are like they beat their children every night. They they beat they, they have 25 wives, all of them. I'm like, no they don't. No they don't. None of this is true unless you're in a different sect. If you're specifically talking about a specific family, like maybe they do, you know, or

maybe your family did. But just because my dad wasn't a good person doesn't mean the church is a bad person per se. But I think. The upper echelon, like the upper, just like our government, you get to a certain level. And all those people, I think they know stuff. All of them well, and it's kind of like this discussion has been had many times before and lots of different shows, but like the Masons or other occult groups, right?

Secret societies, the general everyday people are not bad people, but there are bad people amongst them. And it's the same thing in church communities. And The thing is that man is so fallible. We are all like completely full of sin, right? And so I think a lot of the disillusionment and breakdown between God and religion or considering God himself or a building, right, it's because the building is something that man made and the people are sinners.

And so putting those things together, you know, what's the what? The saying absolute power corrupts absolutely. Yes, which is 100% true. Politics, religion. You know, those in the workplace, no matter what it is, you give somebody too much power and they are still living with their ego and their lives. That's when you have a problem. I think. I think a lot of times where God tries to tell us about don't.

And This is why I'm so blatant when I come forward with my story and I don't hold back because so many people do in the Mormon community, even some of the biggest podcasts, don't talk about the temple out of respect. But I refuse to leave anything in secret because I feel like anything done in secret is not okay because God tells us not to take oath and not to have hidden things like we should not fit. I'm not talking about personal sin. I'm talking about big things.

Like, I'm not saying go tell everyone in the world what you did, like that's between you and and God. But I'm telling you like when it comes to like rituals or weird stuff like that or oh, you better get out there and say because what about the next person? Like it's not about just me anymore than, right? It's about you paying it forward and you helping someone else to

heal. Because you were relieved of something you were unburdened in your life of, you know, sin, sacrifice, whatever you want to call it. And so you are supposed to help other people be able to do the same thing and free themselves. Well, and it's just such an uncomfortable feeling because they attack you and say, well, you you let out these secrets that are sacred and you did this or you did that and it's hard. Because, I mean, I understand. I understand what they used to mean to me.

I understand what they mean to them, Okay. But I also understand that what I was doing was not of God anymore. I mean, I talked to the New York Patriot and he told me to go watch a Gnostic mask. That scared me. Like, you know, why are they tricking people? If you want, if they want, if the Mormons came out tomorrow and said. Okay, We're going to lay it all out. This is what we do. We do nasty mass.

We do this, we do that, or we're Masons or whatever they want to do and don't tie it into God. I would shut up because then we wouldn't have problem anymore because they're taking all these nice people about Christianity and it's not the same thing. They serve a different Jesus, and I don't know what you know well. And that's The thing is, bad things happen with good men do nothing.

And so that's kind of the thing, you know, if you don't, if you know there's something that needs to be spoken about exposed, you have to do that. Especially if you follow the path that that God has set for you, you have to bring those things to light. Kind of like you definitely have to give your own testimony. It's very important that you do that, and for me, my life is an open book.

There is nothing about my life I have not discussed openly on a podcast before, because any secret hidden part of myself does not make me whole in front of God, and I can't. I can't have complete and total edification through God, you know, doing his works and having that intellectual, moral and spiritual enlightenment, if there's anything about me that's hidden, or a cult. Do you think it? Yeah. Oh, sorry. Go ahead, Ellie. I Do you think it comes from being a nurse? Sort of.

Because we have a collective responsibility. I feel like that's part of it for me, like I feel collectively responsible for humans, like. On a different level. And then, But the calling wasn't mine. I never would have done this, you know? But like, also, I don't want my fellow people, like if they're getting ready to go to the temple and maybe they hear my story, maybe they won't, you know, or maybe they'll pause or some. I don't know. Like that. And that's not me.

That's a conduit. You know what I'm saying? Like, anytime when you do something, if you're doing it for the right reason because God told you to do something, then that's not you. He can use a donkey, so. Yeah, so how about how about you, Ellie? Like, how how do you feel about like, the need to give your testimony and help other people? What was your like calling to start your show? I haven't heard Ellie's story.

I'd love to hear. That I mean, Janet, I was on your podcast for the first time and I. I can go back to the first time I was on it and she said she would never ever do a show. I. Would never do a podcast and I would never have my own show. And God was like, Oh yeah, watch this. And I thought she had a different idea. And then I don't want to quite get into it because the story's still being written. But basically I got baptized and God was like, you're going to stop your podcast.

I have something different I need you to work on. Not that my podcast was bad, Not that like it was simple or anything like that. Like you, Janet, I was an open book. But there's something different that something much bigger. You had a calling. Much bigger, and I and I didn't have time to do both right. So it was a very abrupt thing that I was just very at peace with and I was just like, yeah, this is the right thing to do. Did not intend to stop it when I did, but I did.

And but I started my podcast to share all of the different things and that was a that was a journey. Like if people started like from the beginning and then listen to the end. To my points of view on things have changed quite drastically. A lot. A lot. Well, that happens because we all evolve as you learn. Like if you were going down the journey, like my first of my journey was nothing like now.

But the fact that I feel like when some people go on a journey, whatever the journey is, whether it's through faith or a career, or they're researching a new topic, right, you can be influenced by people and go, oh. This is the definite right answer And then you stop researching, you stop thinking critically and you just you become so set in your ways. And I never did that once. The I'm going to question everything spark happened.

I just question everything like and that's not to say that when people share their story that I don't believe them. That's not what I mean. What I mean is, if something sounds off, then maybe I go. Research a little bit more or maybe if it challenges something that I believe then I go research it like and you know earlier Janet, you were talking about how confessing everything and you anything kept in secret basically makes you incomplete before God.

And the distinction I want to make there is not and not saying that you do this or Janet or Heidi. But people think that they can just Yep, I sinned in this way. You know, I swore I cheated on my husband. I, you know, drink alcohol, whatever the sin is, right. And then they go, OK, I'm forgiven, I told people. And it's like, no, no, no, no, there's that's not how that works. Honey, actually be sorry and repent and then actually try not to do it again. Cognizing that. What led you there?

Yeah. What led you there? What led you there? Try and get to the root of it. Recognize you're probably still going to sit in the future because you're not perfect. Be truly sorry when it happens. You can't just be like, oh, I said I I did this. God Forgives me. I can keep being a jerk and it's like no, how that works. And there's there's two things about that. That is all part of the

sanctification process. After you get saved, after you accept Jesus, you are a continual and constant work in progress because we are naturally centers and God is not going to work on getting everything out of you that is wrong all at once. That's not possible. And so watch this fantastic video yesterday about a guy that is having problems with cussing and he knows it's bad and he

knows it's supposed to stop. And people are like, well, really upset at him that every once in a while he'll still use an F bomb. And so people get disheartened. I'm, I'm, I'm with this guy. I'm working on the same same, but here's the thing, he said, you know, because these people are basically like expecting him to lie and not be his true self because it is something that they don't do in their lives.

And so they're putting judgment on him and saying that you should lie and say you don't sin. They're asking you to lie. They're asking you to be a dishonest. Everything is a work in progress. Like he said before the whole cussing thing, he had a porn addiction, and so it took a while for God to work on him to to work that addiction out of his soul. Same thing with with drug addiction, but at least he was. Exactly. Honest, I almost. I did slip the F bomb in one of

my last shows. And I say it way too much. But online on air especially, I try to really watch it because I know the judgment, you know, But also in my real life, I'm trying to change it. But what I'm saying is it was on there and I almost edited it out and I thought no, because because that's who you are. Yeah, because it still happened and then it hurt you and you're fake. Then you're fake, like kind of you know.

And people have judged me and sent me little messages like because I interviewed the Oracle lady and she was like her views were hers and my views were mine, but it was on my heart to interview her. So I did and it was a good interview. There were some things that I didn't agree with her, but if you only go into the.

The people that you, if you are constantly surrounding yourself with people that are like yes, yes, yes, they're yes men, you're never going to learn anything and you're never going to teach anything and get this. I was going to say you are never going to grow your flock per se, right? Because we have. To be honest, yes. And we have a a ripple effect, right? Good or bad, Whatever we do, whatever we speak, whatever actions are, affect other people exponentially.

And so if you're only talking to people that have the same values, the same beliefs, I mean, Ellie and I are best friends and we don't always 1000% agree on everything, but we can have civil, open conversations and we don't. There's no ever like anger or hatred or whatever in the conversation because you have to be able to have those difficult conversations and give tough love to people that the three of us know. People need that.

You cannot be. You cannot be true in Christ and still sugarcoat things for everybody when they need to hear actual. Truth come out of your mouth. That's because I save them. Sugar coated poo is still poo. But so I have been told numerous times, basically my entire life. I'm too blunt. I'm too straightforward. I'm too offensive. I speak my mind too much. I'll talk too much, talk too much. But here's the thing I. Really talk too much.

People are very judgmental towards your personality, but her personality and mine are 100%. And I am. I am just like that, yes, that's what I'm. Always in trouble. When I when I met you, Heidi, I was like, Oh my God, the three of us. Like we would definitely have a very fun girls weekend. So yes. But the reason I think, Janet, that people.

Are so offended by us to kind of take this to the title of your show is because they don't want to be held accountable because Satan doesn't want you to be held accountable. He wants you to be able to do your own thing, right. And so Janet, you've told me things, My husband has told me things where I didn't want to hear them, but they were, you guys were very truthful. And you're like, no, Like you're doing this like you're sinning in this way.

And I'm like, yeah. Like, sorry, like, but nobody wants. To hear it, yeah. No. And then I get and then I sit in the corner and I sulk and I'm like, you're right. But I'm not yelling at them. I'm not, you know, calling them out and calling them names, right? Doing the thing that they're supposed to be doing, which is confronting another Christian when they're in sin. Hey, you're in sin. I'm doing this in a loving way, right? But when we tell people hey

like. You claim to be Christian, and I had this happen. You claim to be Christian. You're doing this thing, these two things like you can't do that. You claim to be Christian, like those don't match and it didn't go well. And I think that's why that is 100% why people are disillusioned with with church and with God, right? Because you know the the biblical saying we never two or more are gathered in his name, right?

That is church. Hence my husband and I literally having biblical discussions every single day is having church. You do not need to be in a brick and mortar manmade building to live your life in Christ and to live it appropriately. You do not have to follow rules and regulations and sacraments, ceremonial magic per se. Well. Where did Jesus speak? He spoke on a hill like he right. He was outside. Like, I'm not saying you always

it's going to snow soon. Like, I'm not going to go outside in the snow here in a bit. You know it's cold. I will. I'll go outside my snow suit. But I'm just like, OK, and this thing happened to me this weekend. I wasn't even going to bring this up, but it fits. So I have somebody very close to me that has been a friend, but she's also been my enemy because it's it's my husband's exwife. And so sometimes we disagree. And it's mostly about kids, usually. OK, well, they're grownups now.

Their kids are grown and they're grownups. And so they had an issue at a church that I don't go to. And I've, I've met the pastor. He's fine, OK? He's a nice person. But I didn't, you know, when you just feel a certain thing, you know, and I didn't feel that there so that hence I'm not a patronage of that church. But she is and I respect it and I've not said anything against him and I wouldn't because it maybe she does have that with

him, you know, I'm not her. So I I've always just kept my opinion to myself and said well that's, you know, fine, whatever, like I've listened to a few sermons. They're not off the wall or anything. Like, it's none of my business really, so. Then her, her son, He's very older. He's he's going to be a dad soon and they're, you know, new. His new spat. Well, they're not married yet. So his girlfriend, they're going to, but they live together.

They're going to have this baby. And there was some issue at the church where abruptly and rashly there was laying on of hands in front of the whole congregation without permission. And I said, and I didn't know anything about it. Until somebody came to me. So this situation was dumped on my lap, not dumped, expressed. Everybody has the right to say how they feel because they were, they were there. I'm just getting you know the little pieces enough. Yeah. And I all I did was say.

I'm gonna send you Derek Prince is one of my go to. I love Derek Prince videos, even though he can be legalistic because he was Protestant. But I I really like his message. So I said, oh, I remember this sermon. I'm gonna send it to you, OK. Like it's it's a good sermon with some biblical stuff that I think is good for you. Like he always goes to the Bible and I love that. So I'm like, I'll send that and I'll pray for this situation.

That's like my whole part of it. Like that's all you know. And because it's also not not my place. Like, they're all grownups. Everyone from the mom to the kids, everybody's grownups. So I I get a message from her, not just asking but demanding that I lead them back to this situation. And I'm like, well, I can't do that because this isn't my place and it's really not your place.

And this is between them. And the Lord and the pastor and then that's all like we you probably should not be in this. You know they're all grown people and it's okay and and she said, well I'm going to repeat to you, you are stepping on my toes as a mother. And I'm like, that's unfair. We're supposed to be friends. Like, I tried to be very like, this is what's up. No, I wasn't gossiping, no, I wasn't doing these things you pointed your finger and said you

came at me in love with. That wasn't how that came across, by the way. Like, I'm very blunt. And I said right back, like no and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. This is why. And I'm not doing that, and I'm never going to do something ever again in my life that I feel. That I shouldn't like in in a religious aspect. Okay correct. Because I was caged and felt this weird way.

And so for me, it's a completely different, it's way more to me, you know, Right, Right. So then she's mad because you got you got the gift of discernment. Well, your departure and your spiritual growth. And here's the bad As you know, my oldest daughter doesn't speak to me, even though she brought me a problem, dumped it in my lap, It was turned around on me and I lost that child. So it's been four years. I'm not doing that again. Like it isn't my place. I will pray with you.

I will listen to you. I will let you vent. I didn't say anything negative on to about that. I just said I biblically Bible hear Bible and I don't think that's the way there is some ways to do that. That wasn't the right way. So in front of a whole parishion and with a person with PTSD, like I don't think that's okay. No, I don't you. Know the other. Biblical part that I think the not you that the forgetting and I understand that the they're not officially married yet.

Right. Technically, while like split hairs like technically this doesn't apply. However, they're having a child together and it sounds like they're intending to get married, so we're going to work under. The concept of this applies because we're getting marriage, getting married. The Bible says yes, I know your father and mother. The Bible also says that you should depart from your parents and become one flesh with your spouse, which means your parents

should have. You should still communicate with them. You should still talk to them however their. Their position comes in a different space. It comes down they don't get to be the parental role the entire time, and a lot of parents do that. Where, you know, you could be 60 and they're 80. They're like, no, I'm still the parents. Like, no, I'm going to listen to my husband or wife over my mother and my father because that's how it's Biblically supposed.

Well, and God has an order of things for a reason. So like this whole situation, first of all, you know the spouse. We're going to go with spouse. The spouse agrees with her. You know they have their own feelings about it. And I and I said so she she wouldn't speak with me about this unless we all had a meeting together with this pastor that I have nothing to do with. And I said I'm not doing that like this has not, this is so not comfortable for me and I'm not being mean.

I'm just telling you that this isn't my place. You know, and she said she, she cut me off of all socials. She is not speaking to me. She is very angry with me. And I'm like, you are doing this at a very bad time because this girl is pregnant. She's a little bit fragile, She's early pregnant. And I don't think it's okay to do this, no matter even if it was a correct situation, like you need to remember all the pieces you know.

Women are supposed to be teaching the Bible, so honestly he should probably going to his dad if he has questions and a lot of. Which he did, which is why I knew about it, because it it came to us. Because I live with the dad. Yeah. You know, so but they and she's very into this church and I understand that. But she's got this preacher on a pedestal, she said to me. So you are wrong in God. She told me this. She said you are biblically going against God and I'm calling you out for it.

And I said because I won't lead him back. And she said, well, I'm going to give this to God. And I said, well, I'm not God, so I don't know why you're giving this to me. And I know that came out really rude. And I just said I, but I'm always in trouble for stuff like that. And I I'm like okay, but I will give it to God too. And I mean it. Let's let it go and pray. I said let I'll pray with you. I'll meet with you one-on-one as parents or as friends or just however you feel about it or

whatever I've done. If I've offended you that I don't want that, you know. But if it has to do with these other people, the kids. Then we can't. We are no longer. And I told the kids this I love you guys. I want to help you. I am your parent, but I'm not. I am your cheerleader now. We are on the sidelines of your life, cheering you along and trying to help you pick you up. If you need us, if you ask. But if you do not ask of us, we are totally in the wrong

position for that. Because we're not. And here's the very interesting thing about that story. And that's going to lead in to my little story. I thought I should share it. I know I'll. Be in trouble. The thing about that is if those, you know, if the children themselves were uncomfortable with something that happened at church, God is putting it on their heart that that is not where they are supposed to be. And people, you need to listen to that message.

But instead they're saying it's demonic. It's not. It's it is absolutely not demonic. When when God is leading you to find another church, there's a reason. And they're not throwing church out the window. They're not doing anything that particular church because something there is wrong and always, always listen to your gut. And so for me, this is the second church we've been to in a short period of time. The first church we went to, we have literally only been there

for one month. And then they had a church meeting. They wanted to vote the pastor out because he was bringing in not only political rhetoric into his sermons. Very, very leftist, very hate right wing, very blatant. But he was also bringing in false teachings from people that have, you know, like TV, church personalities per se that had been arrested or whatever, very false teachings. And so he was bringing that in. So the congregation was mad. They want to try to remove him.

They had a vote on it the whole 9 yards. Fast forward a little bit, We're like, we're very uncomfortable, so we're going to look for another church. We go to this church and we are definitely not the type of people that jump in and sign up to serve and stuff right away because we want to make sure that it's a good foundation and a good fit for us. And This is why. First church, Second church, ever since we started going there, like nothing was really wrong per se in the sermons.

For the most part, I was going to say for the for the most part, they're not. They don't include a lot of Bible teaching, which my husband grew up in a church that was Bible based. He moved here to start a church the whole 9 yards. I grew up in a Catholic Church, so it was very Bible based, whatever. That's her thing. Most of the churches nowadays, they will read little pieces of scripture here and there and put it in their speech. However, they don't focus on

that. They they literally talk. It's like a just talking and then reading little pieces. So we're going through this church and I'm like, I'm really uncomfortable and he's like I'm uncomfortable too. But unless you know there's something egregious like I I have to have justification to leave here. And so we're things are going on and and we're getting a little

more concerned. I guess they have people that were in the audience that at every service that I call plants, they are scattered throughout the Chapel, church, whatever you want to say, whatever religion you are, this is probably applying a lot of them and they are there to elicit emotional response during the sermon. And so there are certain parts where they will, he will pause the sermon and then, like, people are supposed to clap or yell Amen or Yep, Yep, the whole time.

And we're like, okay, This is weird because it's like they're trying to get you that emotional response that they're planting in you. An emotional response within you should come from the Holy Spirit, not from something that man is doing. So then it's like he would have these weird series and he had one that I I told Ellie about. It was so cringe. It was a relationship series and I was so uncomfortable during that. And I'm like I got to do a show because this this one is

something. It was too much. And so anyway, we're both still feeling like super uncomfortable or whatever. And then a couple weeks ago, we didn't go, we were going to watch it online because my husband's allergies were bad. So I'm in the kitchen. Yeah. Today I'm in the kitchen making breakfast and it comes down and I hear. So there are most of you probably know there was an e-mail went out with a lot of allegations in it. So we're going to do, we're going to have an independent

investigation. Wink wink. Independent, right, So they keep mentioning this like every week. Well, finally they had a church meeting the other day. Family meeting is what it says on the screen when we walked in. They literally read every single allegation, which, mind you, there were 32. Oh wow.

Like word for word, for word. And I'm telling you this was on behalf of four families because the husband and the wife and each one of these families all were part of the ministry team, every single one of them, all part of the staff. So on behalf of all four families, which was very meticulous documentation in this e-mail, dates, times, exactly what was said, who was in the meeting, the whole 9 yards. So you know, without a shadow of a doubt that this happened

because they really. Have just allegations at that point, right? Okay. So mind you, and this is an important piece of the story, we knew about this pastor before we ever started going there because we looked him up. He had a criminal record in the past. People can be saved. People can repent for their sins. He had embezzled money from a church before. So you know, we're like, okay, we're going to give him a chance because everybody deserves a chance.

So we're going to this church and and the whole 9 yards this comes out, they're reading all of these different points. And I swear to you, it was like a little kindergarten nanny Boo Boo thing. The church investigated itself, so there it was not independent. Okay, the pastor, appoints every single one of the people that are in positions in the church.

So like his best friend there is supposed to be supposed to be a separation between the pastor and the finances given what had happened before and this is in the bylaws. Very important piece here. And so multiple times in this it was about financial crimes. He got arrested in this other state, serves his time, blah blah blah. Paid restitution came here, started the church. As soon as the church got up and running and given finances, they

were given corporate cards. He used the corporate card for his own personal expenses. Didn't really learn your lesson, did. You. That looks yucky. And then as the allegations go on, like I said, there was 32, so I'm not going to name them all, but some of them were were highly like agreement. So in a staff meeting he disclosed personal financial

records of employees. Now, mind you, almost every church, and this has been the last two that we've been to, if you are a member or a partner or whatever they call it, they want you to sign up and they monitor your finances to make sure that you are giving your 10% or more of your money that you bring in.

They want financial records, the whole thing of if you are, if you are part of this member, partner, whatever the church wants to call it. So he disclosed personal financial information of staff members, Red Flag number one. And then in another separate meeting, he disclosed the personal financial gifts that they were doing to establish a secondary church. Wow. And in this meeting he's well, I know so and SO only makes this X amount of money, but they donated $3000 into this new

building. Again, if he's separated from finances, where did that come in? That's that's so odd that he would want to. I mean, in any situation, including court, those kind of documents are really kept private. They'll say exhibit whatever and then they'll give them correct the. The thing. So that's awkward. Like this whole this whole thing. They're going, this is the allegation, but stinky Doo Doo poo poo head? That's not true. It's somebody's pain.

You know what I'm saying? This whole meeting was like that and then they took questions from the audience and the very first guy that gets up had a list. So not only had this guy been charged for embezzlement and used the the company credit card at the current church, he had assault charges and so there was a restraining order filed against him for the pastor that exposed the financial crimes at the previous place. So this is your.

This is deed there was theft of theft of personal property and stuff. And so my point in telling you guys this, this is the second church in a row where the church had a split, which is not normal and that very short period of time. And I'm in my 50s, so I've never had that happen in my life. And this is two in a row. But whenever you get that inkling that something is wrong, run. Change church.

Watch something online, get out your Bible and just pray whatever you need to do. If you have a feeling that something is not right with that church, trust your gut. But you did the right thing on it because like she said, she had a feeling and that she, she literally posted that the next day like go with your gut and that was the one that thinks they should go back. But that's her feeling about it.

And like you guys use discernment about it and you prayed and you did this research and it was. Like all in a row, like she she feels in her gut that maybe we're bad people. I don't know who that was for. It was very passive aggressive and I'm super not like that. I don't know if it was for me. I don't know if it was for someone else, like. But of course if you're if you're arguing with someone and they post something like that, which is why I don't do that anymore.

They're going to take it that way. But it literally was. Trust your gut thing. And I'm like, well, that and even that might be OK for you and your gut, but for her, for the other kids involved, they have a different gut feeling. Well, God. God moves us. God, Maybe it's not even a bad thing. Maybe he just needs to move them, to help them, to help somebody else. Like you. Never know. Or to help them grow. Yeah. What were you going to say? Ill. Our emotions. Can be wrong.

So like trusting your gut with no foundation. Right. You had a family. Typically go well. So whether it's biblical or hey, this person has an arrest record or like whatever it is, but like your gut is usually telling you something, but it's not always 100% right. You gotta, you gotta go and dig into that like, well, that was, that was the thing. Yeah, because like, for him, for my husband, he was praying for

discernment. And for me, because I felt like I already had discernment in the situation. I was praying for God to move us to whatever church that we were meant to be at. And a lot of people don't understand this, but when you get that feeling that something is wrong and you're supposed to leave that church that is God moving you for an ordained specific reason because you cannot further your growth where you're at and you are needed somewhere else for a different purpose.

And the other person might still be needed in that church now, Not with the arrest thing. That's wild. Like I I would be very concerned for most people in that church. But, and it's there. Let me let me throw this in there because I told Ellie this yesterday when we were talking about it during this meeting, it was like you are only allowed to

clap. When we say clap, you're only allowed to not to to have anger if it's directed at the people that wrote this e-mail where the one person's that's there defending them. And it was very cultish. And they were very they were very much praising this pastor and praising like everything he does and like he could do no wrong. I mean 32 counts. And my husband and I were like most of these. We can verify because we were actually in sermons when these

things happened. A lot of them were very inappropriate language or things that were said during a sermon or whatever, but it was like this whole thing was to to lift up this pastor and praise him and applaud for him, and then so hatred and and violence against the families that exposed. It like the four families that wrote it. Weren't allowed to be there and there was like, police there because you were afraid people were going to get violent, quote

UN quote correct. Yep. They've never had police at this church ever. And when we pulled in, I'm like, why are there so many police officers here? And this, this person that was exposing things during the question period, and he's literally reading this list about this pastor, the theater to me, very relevant and valid. Right, right. And ever. It's leaving no room open for anybody to have any kind of, like, true questioning. Because he already said, like, you can't do that.

Like, unless you're agreeing, agreeing, which that's just weird, like. And that's why I was like, I told my husband all along, I'm like, to me, if there's very cultish, like I said, you have to plant the people in the audience to elicit the responses that they want. It's not organic. I'm like, and you have to clap like a seal when they want you to. They want you to repeat certain words that he says during his sermon and he'll be like, say so that and he wants everybody to

repeat those words. And it was almost like chanting things to me. And we're like, at a rap concert, and they're like, tell me what it is. Tell me what it is. It was. It was very. Uncomfortable. That's weird. Like, why would you want to be having repetition come back to you? Like that's almost just like edification of yourself. That is exactly my point and that is why I brought up

edification earlier. Because with this and what the things that he does and he's always saying like you can't get into heaven unless you follow what I tell you to do. And I was like. For the Catholics, I was like, okay, this is like, not, yeah, this is not. And I'm very happy that my husband got his discernment. So now that we can move on. And feel comfortable together? Yeah. And so even if you go somewhere and you don't feel at home, you don't feel at peace.

There's something like nagging or gnawing at your, you know, insides, basically, like making you uncomfortable. That's probably not the right place for you to be. Well, and you know, Heidi, you had mentioned that you don't go to church like to a church building, right? And I know, Janet, now you're on the hunt again. Yes, again. So hard. I agree with you guys in the sense of like God can be found anywhere. Totally agree. The part where I struggle is like never having.

I'm not going to call it a church, a group of biblically sound Christians, whether or not you all. Go to a building or not, but at least that you know on a regular basis we can hold you accountable. So because I feel like that's the piece where you can say you're a Christian and you can read the Bible and you can honestly do the best you can do. But if you don't have someone that will be like, no, you're sinning, that's where we can fall and so. Churches.

Can provide that, but they aren't the only way to do it. But even if you go to church, are there people that are strong enough and their faith that they will call you? I don't think. People act like that too, like in Mormon church like. So many people were like, I'm perfect and this is me on Sunday, and then they do whatever in the dark, you know, And most people are on their

best behavior in church. And my big thing about church here is just because there's so many Mormon churches, there's not a lot to choose from on Christian churches here. But I would love to find a church home. I think they are good to like, worship together, everything, All that stuff is really good. But I also feel like in Utah

we're really stunted because. We don't have, we don't have a ton of options and not that I've checked every single one but it hasn't felt like, oh this is your place or blah blah. But I also know, like, it's so important for my my kids. You know, Like, I want them to know, hey, you have some friends and God, like these people believe like you, especially here. Because they don't. People don't believe like us. Here you. Know normalize it of sorts, right?

Because if everyone that she knows or he knows. Everyone. You. Know Mormon. Or you know they believe in the Purple Spaghetti Monster. Like you need someone that goes no like we also believe in the Bible. We also say a prayer before we eat. We also like, do these things. I think it's hard for them, yeah. Yeah, it is hard for them because especially. Where? OK, so the Mormon church doesn't believe in the Trinity. So literally my daughter got in an argument with her friend the

other day. And I always tell him don't talk, don't talk about religion, church or whatever, Like, but they weren't, They were talking about God, which I've always said like, oh God, you know, whatever. And so she came home and she said that was so stupid. We had a fight. And I said, what did you have a fight about? She's 9. And she said, I told them that Jesus created the world.

And because Jesus is God and and they're the same person and she's like telling them and they were like, no, Jesus isn't God because they don't believe in the Trinity. They believe that Jesus is Jesus and God is God and God is the Father and Jesus is the Son and the Holy Spirit is somebody totally different too. So and I guess they got into it and I and then my husband was like explaining about in the Bible that it says, you know and God became flesh.

And came down and but then I said, but also don't go tell your friend that like they they believe what they believe and you're not to correct her beliefs because that will make a fight with this parent or whatever, right? And she just, she didn't understand. But I understand that she feels kind of on her own island, probably. I do a lot of the time, you know, And I just, I she does know, like her one friend is Catholic and they believe, you know, sort of more similar.

So that's nice. But I mean, I do see it. I see. And it's hard. It's a struggle here. It's a struggle. Like you almost don't want to say it. Like, I know when I was younger, like I couldn't date anybody that wasn't Mormon. I couldn't like play with people that weren't Mormon. Like it's very cultish and and that's just how they're known to be. But it's also like. 90% of this state.

I was raised Roman Catholic and I was taught that basically the Christians who basically anyone who wasn't Catholic, not so much the Lutherans, the Lutherans like were kind of OK, but like everyone else was going to hell. And the people who did like, you know, the hands up music were going to hell and like. They didn't pray to Mary, so they were going to hell and like everyone was going to hell. Except for the Catholics. They're all. On a train?

Well, it isn't it interesting how multiple religious factions, sects, whatever you want to call them, will do the same thing and they will instill in you that everybody else is bad outside of your practicing group. And again, that is judgment. You are casting judgment upon, you know, people who sing, people who speak in tongues, even though that's biblical, you

know the whole 9 yards. But almost every religion does that where they and it it's kind of it's exactly, it's actually exactly the same as, again, disillusionments in modern day society where you have to praise one group and this group is great, and then the other groups you absolutely have to crap on them because they're not this high on.

The same level, yeah. But I think you know, because people have argued, well, if you just believe in the Bible, you know, doesn't matter what version of Christianity you are. You believe in Jesus, you're going to heaven. I'm like, I don't know how. Not true. Not that that's not quite true. And people like, well, if Christianity was so good or Christianity is the right religion, why are so many different versions of it? Well, for me, like, that's a simple answer.

Jesus was tempted in the desert by Satan who used the Bible against him, but Satan took it out of context. What do you think? Like all of these other things are doing like that. I think so much of it was for me. When I look at religion, I see so many similarities and things and I'm like, I think a lot of this was distorted with the Tower of Babel. Like at that point. I don't think the only thing that changed was their language, I think.

With the reading, the writings, all of it probably changed at the same time. So we have no idea what correlates and what doesn't. You know, like maybe that is literally their Bible story and then it got changed to that name or whatever. You know, my, my stepson of me and I've had this conversation like did you see these, you know, similarities with this or that? And I'm like, well, for sure, you know, we'll never know. We'll never know. I watched this series.

I think there's like 4 parts of it now. It's on YouTube. It's not, like the most. It's not like it's a professional video that's put together. So you have to like, watch it for the content, OK. But it was a it's by a guy named Spencer Smith who's a preacher and it's called the third Adam series. And it talks exactly about that.

How? Because people are like, Oh well, you know, the Bible. Was just coopted by all of these older religions, and this series goes into showing how that's not the case and how there was the one example that pops out is especially Catholicism, the Madonna and Child, or the Virgin Mary and Jesus. And it's very it. It it's. Very sacred in Catholic faith. And he goes into talking about how that's Ishtar and all of these different and I think Tamuz was the son.

And so comparing all of these different things that Christians believe in, showing how and why Christianity is correct and how actually all of these quote UN quote older religions had coopted Christianity and why that happened. So the third Adam series by Spencer Smith. Well, and think about it in this aspect too. We are all created unique and very different.

And so a lot of the factions that happen even within denominations, there are multiple different factions of Pentecostal or Lutheran or Catholic or whatever you want to say is because. Their interpretation of scripture is very different from interpretation of scripture of

what you or I would get. And that's why you have all these different offshoots in the same religion, because their beliefs are a little bit tweaked from what the, from what the main group was and so they just continue to expand and expand and expand and. One of the things that's going to rapidly increase, I think is the new A G churches and how they're corrupting biblical text with spiritual speak, which are very, very different. And so it's going to be like a

removal of God replaced with. You know, whatever name of whatever being you think should be at the top. And I think we're going to see a lot of that because God talks about that in the Bible. So, Ellie, you. Not biblical. It's not. You can't, you know. Correct. So Ellie, you brought up a a very good like quote or saying. That kind of goes along with everything we have been talking about. Do you remember what the quote was, or do you want me to read it?

Compromise is the currency of corruption and evil. And I heard that on a podcast and I was like, I literally had deposit. And I was like, yeah. And because if you think about all of the things that people are that we're upset about right now in the world, that things have gone too far. So I'm going to pick on the alphabet soup, L, GB, T alphabet soup people. So it started as a compromise that people of the same sex

could legally get married. And then it became the churches needed to recognize it. That was the next compromise. And then it became. Well, it's not just. The bakers. The bakers have to accept it, right? Well, and then. But it wasn't just gays and lesbians anymore then it was. I don't even know the difference between a lesbian and a gay in a queer. Like, I don't even know. But then there was that, and it was trans, and you need to accept the trans. And then it wasn't just the

adult trans, it was the kids. And you needed to accept that you didn't have any identity. And then it was, you need to accept that your kid could be a cat and you should have a litter box and like, and then it ran well, but then it went so far as boys needed tampons in their bathroom, like. So we kept having these compromises. And that's just one example. And everyone's like, how did we

get here? And I'm like, because we allowed gay marriage and someone's going to get really mad at me for that. And I'm totally OK with people being mad at me. But but it is true and based based on that quote. That is why today's show title is so perfect. Devilish, devilish disillusions. Because compromise is the currency of corruption and evil. By being weak and not holding boundaries or people accountable. At work, at home, at church, government, whatever. Is how we end up with all of

these different agendas. Because, ladies and gentlemen, pride is the original sin in the Bible. What? What does that group call themselves now? Pride and and what is a very common pronoun pronoun now? It's not just he and she. It's now and they. They uh huh. Which is a perversion. A complete and total perversion of godmaking, man and woman, and the fact that they are not only putting it in churches, it's in every business.

It's in the government, it is in the schools, it is literally everywhere because they're banking on putting enough pressure on all of the human beings that you compromise. Your morals, your values, and your belief in God to accept that this is okay. And once you accept that into your soul, then you are no longer connected to God by any means. So I I saw this thing or I read it, I don't know which one and I'm not 100% sure how I feel about someone to throw it out there.

The reason that they use the day them pronouns is the only they in the Bible is the Trinity because they are truly three in one. Any other they that like any human. OK, maybe that's better way to say a human who claims to be they is then purporting to be God because there should only be one thing. Well, it's also used for demons because they are legion and so that's kind of scary to me because.

And you know, we've we've struggled with this one because we do have a daughter that's gay and so we've had to really struggle with it. And she, yeah, we, she's old enough to make her decisions. She knows. She knows the Bible, she knows right from wrong, She knows everything. But here's the thing we specifically told her. Look. Whatever you decide what your sin is, your sin is no different than ours. But I think that you should really educate yourself on this whole situation.

But do not get involved in any, any group. You are very against the pride movement. I'm not against a person or their sin. I am against that they are making it this big huge monster that you can't fight like it's right. It's impossible. Well, and that's, that's what I want people to understand because they're probably going to very much misconstrue what I just said a moment ago.

But you are 100% right, you hit the nail on the head because it is not the individuals pushing you to change your bathroom, allow sex offenders in the same bathroom with you, you know, whatever. All of this other stuff is not an individual. Individuals can still be saved. Individuals can still repent of their sin. It is this monstrosity of a group that wants you to know that you are not okay if you are not part of their group. You are not a normal person if you are, if you are a straight

man or a straight woman. You are not accepted in society. That is exactly what they're telling you. Well, and it's not just the straightness, it's it goes with all the groups, it goes with color. It goes anything that they can use to divide us, they will use, correct. That goes to politics, that goes to groups. I mean they are making it so separatist. They have gone into like, oh, everybody was inclusive, but we're not. No one's inclusive anymore. You can't be included.

If you're a gay person, you're going to be a little more accepted into a situation than my straight white son. Okay, he he he didn't do anything to choose that. Like that's who he is. That's who he came out and is. Why are you demonizing him for? For nothing. You know he and he feels it. He feels it at school, he feels it, you know. And so a lot of times I feel like sometimes the kids are led into that because they if you aren't identifying as that, then maybe I'm not special because

I'm a straight white girl. You know, straight white. If everyone is special, known as special first of. All yes, but they. The other thing too is maybe six months ago ish, something like that. Our church had hosted like a women's event and I took my stepdaughter to it. And three, there was 3 video testimonials from three women and one of them was this woman who was going to our church. She was a lesbian.

She was married and she really actually started reading the Bible, got convicted to the point that she felt like she had to leave her wife because she realized she was sitting. And my stepdaughter heard this and the best way I can describe her two households are Trump and Hillary Clinton. And she heard this and did not understand. And it proceeded to be an issue with the mom because our church does not have an L GB, T alphabet soup person on their board. And recently and mind you she's

10, 1/2. So like if I want to give perspective, we're talking just started 5th grade and she goes, she she tells me one day and I guess she had told her dad and like I knew but she didn't know that I had known. She said she was pansexual and something else and I was like what does that mean to you? Because I know what that means like as an adult, but as a 10 year old, like what does that mean to? You what do you think that is? Yeah, right. She's like, well, it means I

like boys and I like girls. And I said OK and I looked at my husband and I said you're not going to like me for a minute and he go he whenever I say that he's just. Cover your ears, honey. And I look at this little girl and I go, are you having sex? And she goes, no, I said, are you is is a, is a boys being penis going in your vagina? Are you getting naked with something I got? Like not pornographic, but like anatomically correct like?

Are you having sex? Well, no. Then, honey, you can't be pansexual because you're not having sex. There's in. It's in the work. You're actually asexual, right? And you're as you should be like I'm so confused and we said that's the problem. They're not letting them develop to a point where they can actually make that decision. And I do feel like some people truly are gay. I do feel like some people truly are whatever they are. But some of this stuff is insane.

First of all, like the people that want to marry cars and whatever and or or. Kids identifying as a cat so they can demand that. I put a litter box in my class, right? Even 10 years ago, like, can we all acknowledge that correct? And it became popular. Why? Because if they can't exterminate US1 way, they're going to try to exterminate us another. That's what this is. And you? Go ahead. I remember her, my stepdaughter, coming home last February and February's Black Pride Whatever month.

And the her teacher in school was going on about Black Lives Matter and all this other stuff and I picked her up and she goes, I'm ashamed to be white. Yeah, that's what they wanted to go And Shravel, this teacher, because I'm like, what are you doing to these children? She can't help what she is, no more than they could help being black in the 50s. Well, and that's, that's the thing.

Because again, disillusionment or the placement by the devil that you are not acceptable the way that you are, the way that you were created, you have to be. Made to feel like you're not, so you can change everything about the way that you were created to be something that you're not. And so with the devil being the great deceiver, that is why all of these things are coming about. And they're so easy to break people's psyche to make you believe that you have to fit into.

Whatever whatever group they they put forth at that particular time, you have to identify with that. You can't identify with your with what your true self is. But. And they don't even know what their true self is? Yeah, they're too little. Yeah. And I think a lot of these people, the reason that they don't, they can't find their identity in Christ because they're going to find it

somewhere else. And for me, I'm like the root of it. For I think I'm going to dare to say, everyone, very rarely do I make blanket statements if they don't want to give up their sin. So if their sin is the Pride movement, well, that's because in the Pride movement you can do whatever. You can be whatever. You can sometimes do drugs, you can sleep with whoever. There's no accountability. There's no repercussions for anything because it's free love. It is the hippie movement of the

60s on steroids. Oh, on so many. Steroids, and it is. It is the birth. Control pills, not pill birth with baby killing pills. Like, right, They don't have to have like, I talked to the girls and I'm like, hey, this whole Plan B thing is, is a Plan B for a reason. What was your plan A hello. And they're like, Oh well, I'll just get a Plan B and I'm like, no, you need. And a like, what's? What's wrong with you people? Like, come on, this was used to

be a consequence. A natural consequence is you could get pregnant if you were just doing whatever and you weren't married. Okay. Well, then what? Now there's not babies involved because they don't see them. A baby to them, so. I'm like, you gotta be careful with this stuff because someday you're gonna really regret all these soul ties you're making. You know, this isn't just about babies and Std's. This is about you're you're gonna take on whatever.

Whenever you're with someone on that intimate level, you're taking on pieces and exchanging information there, OK? And that. DNA swapping? Yeah, DNA swaps and that kind of thing is a dangerous on a whole nother level now with the with the shots. And B, it's it's dangerous to your brain. Like you have no clue what you're doing to yourself right now and they never get a chance. There's a reason that people used to court and not date, because when you date, you can

be left alone. You can, and I'm not saying like, go super prude and never hold hands or like even hug. Like, that's not what I'm trying to say. But it's also a fact that when you hug someone, when you kiss someone, when you have sex with someone, hormones are released in your body that bond you to that person. There is a reason we're supposed to wait. Like, I wish I had waited like all of these things, but that is

so countercultural. It's so taboo now to even be like you should wait for your husband or your wife. Well, and the and The thing is, and you had the nail on the head, people don't want to give up their sin, right? And so we are so conditioned that instead of searching to fill yourself, your body, with the Holy Spirit, which will completely fill you up, we are taught that we have to seek acceptance and love. Outside of us, outside of ourselves, through other people, through other means.

That's why people get addicted to drugs, people get addicted to alcohol, people are sex addicts, porn addicts, whatever, because they're looking for anything and everything that they can to fulfill that void within ourselves, right? Or people go through a series of really terrible relationships, one right after the other. Because they're looking for somebody to fill that missing piece inside of us.

And so, especially when you have like nowadays, where if you just go out and have meaningless casual sex with 600 different people in a month, that's supposed to be the new norm and acceptable. When that is very counterthetical to the Bible, because you are supposed to have one person that you are bonded to, where you become one person together. It's not meant for us to be highly promiscuous, and that's why I like divorce is supposed

to hurt. Like, like all of these things, like, and I'm not saying that there aren't cases where you shouldn't get divorced. Actually, I think we've all been divorced on this show. Like, so, like, I I want to make that clear. Like, I'm not saying that you should never get divorced. Like, you know, abuse and things like that. Like, that's not what I'm saying. But it's also, it's not supposed

to be easy. That's why breakups suck, because we give all of ourselves like we're in a marriage and then we're brokenhearted and it's like, why does it hurt so much? Because we did something we weren't supposed. And because half of you, because you're bonded as one person now and so when you split, that other half of you is gone. Well, and you're the people are so easy to make these ties now. Like, I see much more serious relationships as younger kids than I think we had as kids.

Like, they don't date. I kept asking my son why he's 15, almost 16. I said why don't you date very much? You know, you're not dating, you're not out taking girls out or whatever. And he said we don't do that unless it's serious. And then? Once it's serious, like, then you go date and I'm like, that's dumb. You don't know the person. Then you're in a serious something, whatever you think is serious, and now you're stuck

with this person. And then you're going to go spend money and he's like, well, that's how they do it. And I'm like, that's that's a horrible idea. The whole point of dating is to see if you like this person, right? And just and to see what's in their heart and not yeah, not just surface level, you need to know the deeper meaning of that person's. Like, what are they really about?

Yeah, what are you really about? Is he saying Heidi like there's like group dates and that's how they get to know someone? No, they just everything is online either they are talking and that's what they call it. That's literally what they call like now going steady is. Is not a thing. It's either you're talking, which means they're talking on the phone, everything's electronic, everything's phone, everything's FaceTime, everything's whatever, whatever,

or they're serious. There's only two things. And I'm like, how do you go from talking to serious if you don't really spend time with someone And you need to, you need to see. That you need to see that person's facial expressions and emotions and you need to be in that same, that same 6 foot radius and space of that person to be able to know if you have that connection or not. You're not going to know if you have a true, genuine spark unless you are face to face with that person.

Well, and do some things together like go out. And get an ice Creamer. Go out and go to the movies. Like, there's none of that anymore. I do not see that anymore. He's like, that's so weird. You're so weird. And I'm like, no, that's weird. You guys are weird. Like what are you? Don't call me weird. I'm like you, weirdo. So from a nefarious higher world like New World Order thing, honestly. Not that I agree with this.

I guess I need to preface this, it's kind of genius, because then you're less likely to get married. The birth rate's already plummeting. A lot of males are very feminine. The testosterone is plummeting, like, and that means there's no really a nuclear family. You can have more people in separate places. You can tax them more because they're. You're not considered married. You're not married. Like it's automatically two

separate things. If they're not married, the woman can live off the system like it's genius in a really evil way. Well, and think about like all the movies like Demolition Man or whatever, where where they don't literally have sexual contact or physical contact. Yeah, they put on a VR headset. Oh yeah, that one Show to Ready Player One, same thing. And so that's that's that's where our society is going. As soon as they got everybody hooked on tech, it's like you don't have to have a

conversation face to face. You just call them on your cell phone. Or the porn FaceTime I'm on your iPad or whatever. Like you never have to have in person contact. Video. Yeah, video porn or whatever. And they're like, oh, it's safer, oh, this is better or whatever. And the kids get it so early. And I'm like, This is why I refuse to get my daughter. I did with the boys, my son and.

And his daughter both had cell phones cuz they were from split families and we wanted to like communicate with them but like with our daughter that we have together. I'm like absolutely not. Absolutely not. Like, not until way later. If if for some reason you do want to get your kid over a cell phone gab. Is a. It's like it looks like a smartphone, but like has no Internet access. That's what my stepdaughter has. I can recommend Gab.

And then there's also a phone called Pinwheel that can more grow with them. So like you can allow certain apps as they get older. Not affiliated with either one, but like something like that for your kiddo. Gab and pinwheel are the ones that I know of that that has like auditoring and like. You can choose who they can send video message or like pictures to and things like that. So that's. Nice.

To try and. And some of the things that they do with the pictures, I'm like he told me something about somebody at school and everybody saw this and that because she sent this or he sent that. And I've really ingrained my son. I'm like, this can be called child porn. So you cannot do that. Like you cannot. Be involved in this. And he's like, I know that everybody does and it And I'm like, well, wasn't she, weren't they just dying? Weren't they like, so humiliated?

And he's like, no, everybody does it. Everybody's seen everybody's crotch basically now like, I was so thrown. I was like, what? And he's like, yeah. That's fine. That embarrassment factor. Now that things that like we wouldn't normally do in public, people are doing it and posting it on social media because that's how they become an influencer, that's how they become money. That's how they get likes like normalizing, debaucherous behavior. But that is wild to me even, she

said. Some stuff isn't even sexual. You're making it weird. Like, sometimes we're just talking like, guys in a group and then somebody will ask, is this normal or that normal? Like that stuff. You go to your parents for what is happening and he's like, no way. I wouldn't go to my parents for that. That's weird. And I'm like, well, it's a lot safer than putting it on a telephone. I know that. You know, I'm like, are you crazy?

I mean, he's not. But, like, he's been involved in this where he's like, guess what happened today? And I'm like, whoa. And then it's no big deal to him. He's like, thinks I'm like so silly for thinking this is so insane and I'm like, what? I've heard parents in the, like, every day I get more and more on board with this. I want to go live in the middle

of nowhere. But they're parents mainly of like, kids five and younger who have been like, Oh my gosh, you're seeing all the stuff that's happening and they're like. We're just going to kind of do like arranged marriages for our kids because we're all going to go live in a little group. And not kidding. Z and little Johnny grew up and like, we'll just kind of know because we'll know the parents and we'll know the family. We know they haven't done any weird stuff.

Like, it's terrifying. It's terrifying because even like my daughter with her story, my oldest, we were closer than anything. And then when I met the guy. He seemed great. Like he seemed so good and great and like, no, I mean, my oldest daughter is is more accepting. My second daughter's really critical of people and she she's usually right, though and she's like, I don't like him. And it was like within an hour and I was like, calm down over there, lady. You don't like anybody.

That's what I told her. I said you don't like anybody. So all of us were like, ooh, he's this, he's a pilot. Oh, blah, blah, blah. So great, so great. No, not so great. No. You know, after three times of meeting him, he took my daughter away. And we never saw her again, ever again. And it's been four years and she has a baby, like. And so now I'm like, yeah, you I and I get it with those parents. Like I get it.

Like, I get wanting to go somewhere and, like, know exactly what's going to come at you because it's terrifying. I don't know if it's true, but I've heard if you get like 150 people together, you can create your own city and your own mob. I know. Like I'm I'm about at this level. I'm always like this is just so much. I mean, like they want us to try and raise good human beings in this and and I'm like.

This is so difficult, you know, you try not that some things aren't good, but like you don't want them to have dangerous things coming towards them, you know? And it just seems like it's one thing after another constantly. But so I'm not, since they've normalized like, all of this behavior, right? And this is what kids are expected to act like and do, which again is counterthetical to biblical teachings. As a parent, it makes it even that much more important for you to guide them.

And trust me when I say they are going to fight back against you for trying to instill in them values on the way things are supposed to be. Heard the I'm pretty sure it's a Bible verse, but you know. Basically the the idea of like, raising children the time or raising children to be dragon slayers or raising the children for a time such as this, like you were meant to and like that kind of resonated with me.

But I was also like, yeah, but then I heard this, someone had posted this, and it's not from the Bible. However, it hits me hard every time I think about it and every time I'm going through a tough moment, this is what I tell myself. You can't protect your child or yourself from their testimony. And I was like the first time I heard it, I was like, I really don't like that and I don't like it cuz it's true. So.

Right, right. It's hard because at one some point you do have to breathe and let go. And sometimes they're going like and and honestly like, it's been really sad for my daughter, cuz like the youngest one, she's little still. She's not even 10. And she was on YouTube and she came to me hysterical. And she's like, I like a girl. But I didn't know it was a girl. I thought it was a boy. It looks like a boy. I thought this was a boy like I. And she's like having a

breakdown over this. And I'm like, I know it's hard sometimes to tell, but I know that it's OK, You know? Just it's OK. I know you like boys. You thought that was a boy like? She knows our other daughters gay. Like, I mean, we there's no hiding certain things, you know. And so she said, but I'm not, I'm not gay. I think she's got a weird thing about it now because that situation she's like, I but I like boys. I'm like, no, I I know, honey. Like, it's fine. You know, you're you didn't do

anything wrong. And so now you're fighting against not only that but like Ellie said before, confusion. It's constant confusion, just like your daughter. Thought that was pansexual, which isn't pansexual. That's actually bisexual, but not any of it's sexual at all. She's asexual. So like you you have to like, go and you you don't want to have these conversations because all of it's crap, it's bull crap anyway.

It's it's like, I get that sometimes boys like boys and girls like girls, but the rest of it's pretty abnormal. I mean, the rest of it's up on par with like. Bestiality in some points, you know, like, yeah, it's crazy to me. And I'm not, I'm not having that conversation with a 10 year old and I don't want anybody else to either, you know? Yeah. And you certainly don't want teachers at school to take over that. And they're so parental.

Goes back to that big old confusion like I get why she's confused. I get why they're all confused. I get it. And let alone whatever they're putting in, you know, the food and the water and the that's a whole another thing, you know, like you don't even know. So it's a it's a really strange time. I think we just have to really pray all the time and do our best. But even then sometimes it's not not what we think it should be like.

I do not think my daughter should be alienating her whole family because her husband said it's leave and Cleve and she never talked to anyone again. Like, that's pretty not OK with me, you know? But he's that Bible honor. And so it worked, right? And now he doesn't have to worry about her flying out here halfway across the country because that was probably the whole point, you know? I mean, I'm. I don't know it's a control mechanism. Yeah, yeah, because the flights

are free for him. So it's not about money, you know? No, it's about it's about control and keeping her in that very small acceptable bubble where there is no outside interference. The only interaction can be with him. And his family and his people. And his He deems. Yeah, he deems. OK. Because he flat told my mom after the last conversation when lightning struck her house. Right in the middle of us talking about this situation, lightning struck her house.

Like, that would wake me up, but I guess it's not going to wake them up. But anyway, whatever. All I said to her was I loved her. I would always love her. I would always be here. And the baby was beautiful and I hope that they were all OK. And and then he completely freaked out about that. And I'm like, how do you completely freak out when that wasn't? I didn't say anything bad, you know? But he doesn't want her to know. There's another way. Like oh.

You are still loved. You do still have family. You do still have people that 100% love you, you know? But that's just the way it is. I mean, I have to wait till God intervenes on that one because I feel so tight on that. You know, like what do you do with it? Well, and you know, there's a a Bible verse that's very perfect for that. It's from Romans 5 and it talks about we glory in our sufferings because we know that suffering produces perseverance, perseverance, character and

character. Hope and hope does not put us to shame because God's love has been poured out into our hearts for the Holy Spirit who has been given to us. And so a lot of people who are going through struggles, suffering, stuff like that, even when you fully accept God into your life, it doesn't mean you won't have storms or struggles. It just means that you will definitely be able to weather them and come out the other side of stronger person.

And so I think a lot of people don't think about that as well. They think that you know once you're once you're saved and you accept God that like everything will be sunshine and rainbows and unicorns flying out your butt. That's not true. Not true at all. That is the time that you will go through probably more struggles than you've ever experienced because it is a not only a testament to your faith, but a testament like that quote says from the Bible, but also your perseverance.

Like how are you going to weather this? Are you going to weather this? Are you going to give up your faith because things got difficult or hard so? Are you going to let say no? No. No, you're not. No, I'm not that. I didn't have to pause on that one. I always go back to Job. I always think of Job because he lost. And I always tell myself in that particular situation with my daughter, he lost all of his children in one day, not just one. And I didn't lose all of my children, you know?

And so I find myself lucky. I've got a fly that's going to be irritating. I keep seeing one here too, so I'm like, you'll have that and flies. And flies, Yeah. And so I keep thinking to myself, like, well, at least even though he was, you know, they always talk about, oh, well, he was restored. But honestly, he probably still suffered the rest of his life. Because you cannot replace a child with another child. That child is always different. And so they don't ever talk

about that part. But as mothers, we kind of get that, like those children were gone. And yes, he'll be reunited with them one day, but like, he's still lost them for now, you know. So I just have to wait, like, and it and it's always like, do you, do you not wait? Do you show up and be a crazy person? Do you like just go to their house and be like? Get arrested. Like, what do you do with that? Like people are like, Oh yeah, if I were you, I would just fly right out there.

I'm like, would you though, like, you know, I mean, it's that's a freaking tightrope there, you know? Yeah, because then you would have a police record and then he'd be like, see, see and use that, use that against you as well and so. While I I'm going to preface this with I absolutely think you have every reason to go out there. Right. The way I can see him spinning, it is something that I mentioned earlier, that they're married, you're supposed to basically

stay out of their marriage. And not that I agree with him in that case, but that's what I find a lot of people who claim to be Christian who aren't really Christian. That's what they do. They're just like saying they twist. They take a Bible verse and they twist and they take it out of context. And he used it on her. And I get that it worked. She was in a vulnerable state when. He met her. She was, you know, already coming out of, like a rape. Like she was already in a bad

situation. Shit. Mentally, like mentally, she wasn't. OK. I think he saw that. I think he's a predator. I think she was his prey. She feels very protected and loved by him. He makes her feel that way. He builds this little dollhouse and puts my little doll in there. And I feel like someday that's gonna get tiresome, you know?

I don't know that we can live that way forever, but if she chooses, like he can't keep her from me forever because she God gave her to me and she is mine and what we have, we will have in the end. So even if he keeps her for me all the days of my life, which he has told everyone that I am dead to them and I will never see her again.

And I don't know how you do that to somebody because I know how close we were and you are hurting her and if you really loved her, you wouldn't do that to her. That's not Okay. You know but like I said there's only so much feet I'm willing to step on because I already, I already threw that fit in the first. I mean I'm a very strong personality and I already did the whole. I can't believe this. I can't believe you. What are you doing?

Like really sassy mouth because I just assumes my daughter would back me and she did not you know. So you got to step back and say okay. Well, that that definitely didn't that backfired, you know? And then you get angry. You go through all those same stages of grief that I went with. My brother. And honestly, I think it was easier. And me and my mom talk about that and she's like, yeah, I couldn't. Yours is harder because at least I know he didn't have a choice.

He's just gone, you know, she has a choice. Maybe it's a hard choice that she could come and see her family. I mean, if she chose to. And I get that he probably makes that difficult. I don't really know. I don't know their life. Maybe she just doesn't want to, Who knows, you know? She says. I'm this toxic, horrible person

now. But it I find it hilarious since that was never the way before, you know, it's been ingrained to her and and that's like it's so easy for for people, for their emotions to be manipulated and twisted into molding somebody into something that they're not or thoughts and things that they don't normally. Accept, yeah and or accept and and guess who he used to help him do it?

His friend, the pastor, was the one that helped her psychologically with her psychological counseling and all I kept saying as a psych nurse was. Is this person even licensed to do what you're doing with them? And then it became I was the problem and I am the problem and and that's all it is. Like you're being intrusive. You're saying he's not a good person, you don't know him.

No, all those things are true. But also, I don't think that somebody that's already vulnerable should be counseled by anyone except a licensed professional because of that, you know, And then you can go to your pastor after the fact because if she's really at that point in her mind, like she wasn't, well, you know, And so it's easy to manipulate. I mean, it was a friend. Even sometimes, though, with with licensed professionals, yeah. The manipulation that goes on is is staggering.

And one thing you know, we're talking about like the devil interfering basically and and changing your your mindset, right? It is so important for anybody and everybody that is struggling with literally anything, whether it's anxiety, depression, alcoholism, drug addiction, whatever it is. You have to get your mind right first before you can expect anything else to change in your life. Because if you're still, like Ellie talked about earlier, people not wanting to give up

their sin. If you are an addict and you refuse to give up that addiction, but you're you're upset because your life is not improving. It is not changing. You've got to change your mind first, because nothing else will matter. If you don't, well, it's like going to war without a gun. I mean, you know, like, why would you do that with the whole army of people with guns, so? Yeah.

The realization I had Janet, as you were saying that is a lot of people the woke, I guess they're very big on this whole victim mentality and. If you give your victim mentality, then who are you? Right. You're nothing without that victim identity, right? Because the the devil told you so, the powers that be told you so that you always have to be a victim or you're just a

faceless, nameless nothing. Well then it makes it also easy for them to control you, because how could she ever come back to me? Because I'm a horrible, narcissistic, terrible parent that apparently abused her. So how would she ever have me come back around? And then who meets me or whatever is like, Oh no, she's fine, she seems normal, oh blah blah blah. And then how do you rationalize that in your mind? If you've used that as your crutch, like it could be

anything. But in this particular situation, if you use that as your crutch to cover up whatever you're doing to make yourself feel better about what you're doing, then you're always going to use that. It doesn't matter a substance or a person or your past. I could use my past every day of the week. My past is horrific. I've discussed it often. My past I have every reason to be on a corner, selling my body and snorting crack. Like every reason Okay. But I don't. Why?

Because I would rather help people out of the situation that I myself overcame. Why would I want to go backward? Like, why would I live in that mess? That mess wasn't me. You know, and that's The thing is. That you can use your testimony of your life and your story and what happened with you to be able to affect change and make change or even plant the seed of change for somebody else. And I literally think that is

our sole purpose in life. It's to basically pay that forward that we came out of struggles, hard times, whatever. Like. Talking to somebody about coming on the show, and this was a perfect example, and I hear this from people a lot of times, when I reach out to have them come on, their response is always there's nothing interesting about me and about my life. I don't have anything to add and I will guarantee you every single one of those people that

I have talked to on a show. Has had the most interesting stories about things that have probably made a huge difference. Yeah, probably helped. They were always just people who were made to feel that they were nobody. They were nothing special and you know, conform, conform in the society and the different groups and labels that we put you in or you're nothing special. And that's not true because everybody has a story. Everybody has things they've been through or experiences that

they've had. Or, you know, whatever the case may be, God made you the way that he made you for a reason, and things happen to you for a reason so that you can turn around and talk about it. I agree. I totally agree with that. And it's sad that people think just because you were raised some sort of way doesn't mean you don't have anything to help or share. Even even my husband, he was not raised any of those sorts of way. He he was loved. He was cared for. His parents are great.

I always say Beaver Cleaver because that everybody can relate to Beaver Cleaver, but like also he still he still has abandonment feelings because he left the church. He still has I don't fit in because I'm not like you. I still feels like these kind of ways. And sometimes we'll say different things that are more meaningful right then maybe my huge story that was like and then blah blah blah and all this big stuff. But sometimes for other people, that doesn't relate.

You know, maybe for somebody that had a bad, bad story like mine, they can relate. But somebody that's more normal story maybe will relate much better to his story, you know, That's why we all have to. We're supposed to have human connection. Why do babies not do well when you stick them in a crib in a orphanage and don't touch them? They they literally become so strange. I mean, the Unabomber, this happened to the Unabomber. He got hurt and then he had some big, huge thing.

I think he got a burn and then his mom couldn't touch him for so many weeks and it was like almost a couple months. And then he was never the same. Afterward, he was never the same. They said that he didn't process things as well, even though he was super smart, you know, he was never the same again, as mother said. And that that goes to show you the damage that it can cause by not interacting with other people. And so many people hole up in their room, play video games,

smoke weed and never come out. And I'm like this is not what God wanted you to do. Like I'm not saying it doesn't have its place. I'm not saying that medicinally some things aren't helpful. I'm not saying I'm not saying any of that. I'm just saying this isn't what God probably planned for you and you probably can't even hear it because you're so involved in whatever you're involved in or you're so damn self-centered that all you care about.

And I like to look nice, but by golly, if it comes down to my kids needing me for something or me missing the gym that day, that's just how it's going to be. You know, I'm not going to go and do that. I'm going to take care of the kids that need me because it's just it's silly to me. But you see these moms now and you're like, OK, you know, like they're just their little extension of themselves that, you know, with their LV purse and their, you know, whatever, it just, and I like to look

nice, like I said. But come on, that's not real. That's not real. Like, if you have to have that because you don't feel important without it, that's ridiculous. If you like it because you like it, then cool, you know? But like, if you really sincerely think you are that $3000 or $5000 bag, good for you. Like that's so stupid waste of money to me. I'd rather go somewhere you know. But if. I can do a lot with that with that. Money.

Do you know Robin with garden how many chickens I could have with that? Money, right? It was just, That's so funny. We think exactly alike because I was sitting there thinking, I wonder how many animals I could fly foot in our farm. Right. And I'm just thinking, man, that's like a vacation. That's like, I mean, that's something fun, you know, I could take my kids here, go do this or whatever. And I'm just like, to me, like I could have a bigger house.

Like everyone in our family, they all have nicer houses. And they got a pool and they got this and they got that. And my husband's, like, what are we going to do? Like, do you want to upgrade? I'm like, are you insane? No. I don't even want to be home except for the grandparent part. When we retire, like the grandparent part, I'm down for, like, if they need me home to watch kids, but otherwise, I don't even want to be home. Why? Let's go explore.

Let's go see the world. Let's go do things, You know? I mean, I. I'm the opposite. I just. I like my sons like that. My son, he's like, I want to crochet and stay home, yeah. I I I'm a great crochet. There's a someone I follow online and she's late 20s, early 30s, and she's like, I'm part of the grainy gang and just all the things that like the old grandmas do and I'm like, that is me.

And it's funny because, like, at my age, like the perfect gift is something I can use at home, like a kitchen gadget or something. And other people what like? You know, video games or whatever. And I'm just like Nope. Anything I can use practical wise around the house? I could get two freeze dryers with that kind of money. It's so weird to me. I'm like, okay, that's cool. Like I have a niceish purse, but I don't have a $3000 purse. That's wild.

To me, yeah, I don't. I don't need anything like that because frankly, I don't care. And I don't care about the vanity and I don't care about what people think, which is a beautiful segue to end the show because. Talking about vanity and and selfishness and whatever, so Philippians 2-3 do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves. So take that $3000 that you would have spent on that purse and pay it forward to somebody

who could really use. That money, you don't have to give it to a charity, but do something to to pay it forward and be appreciative of the things in your world that God gives you, just like my eagle today. Thank you again, God for doing that, because that was beautiful and it meant more to me than any $3000 purse ever could. So ladies, where can people find you at? You wanna go first? Hiding? Either way, I'm at Unfiltered Rise on everything.

I'm at Instagram, YouTube, Spotify, All the Places. Unfiltered Rise Podcast. Miss Ellie. You can find my Instagram at One Thumb LONE Thumb El. On YouTube by the same name. I'm mainly just doing my fan approved Friday videos right now. I did have 60 some episodes on the Speed Bumps podcast. That was mine and that is, I don't want to say gone forever, but it's put on hold for the foreseeable future. But you can definitely go check that out if you want to.

Because again, she's working on a much higher calling project and let me tell you, it's a very important one, so. And I'm just not ready to talk about it publicly, which is why it's kind of secretive. And I appreciate that that secretive. Secretive is bad. We're holding out until the right time because this is the difference. Because if your kids are always asked what's the difference between a secret and a surprise? Kind of like a stranger danger thing.

A secret is something that is never to be told. A surprise is something that will eventually be told that a Christmas present or a birthday present or a party. So surprises are okay, secrets are not. It'll be a surprise in the future. Correct. Yes. That'll be awesome. And it's a it's a fantastic thing that's in the work. So there you go. I'm super stoked for it. So for me, for Miss Ellie and for Miss Heidi, thank you so much for living and listening.

Thank you for giving us your patience and and whatnot and suffering through the allergies. No tears for Shed in the making, so have a good one guys, and we'll see you next time.