106. Unfiltered Conspiracy; Breaking Matrix Mind Control

Hello everyone, and welcome to another episode of The Unfiltered Rise with me, Heidi Love. And today I have a guest with me, Johan. He does self sabotage coaching, which he's going to explain to us, and he's also a podcaster of boundless authenticity. So, Johan, how are you doing today? I'm doing great. I'm happy to be here with you. Awesome. I'm glad you're here as well to enlighten our guests and tell people exactly what it is that you do, along with a couple questions that I have.

But will you let our listeners tell? Tell them where they can find you? You can find me on Instagram at Jahan Sator, so I'll spell that JEHANSATTAUR or you can e-mail me at self sabotage info and proton dot me. You can also check out my little website which has nothing on it self sabotage dot XYZ and you can search for boundless authenticity podcast.

Awesome. Well definitely go check out and follow him on Instagram and all his other sites so that you can find out what he's all about because after this you're going to want to know. So what is a self sabotage coach? The self sabotage coach is a guy that does his best not to slap the crap out of everybody that

comes. I mean it, it kind of amounts to that because when you have to go to a self sabotage coach, it means that you are messing up stuff in your life in such a way that it's either creating too much for you to fix or you're starting to realize that you're getting there. And it's probably your own stubbornness that's keeping you there. You know, it's your own repetitive behaviors that are keeping you there, right? So I I'm the tough guy that people come to when traditional

talk therapy has failed. That's where the slapping come. No, no, he said he tries his best not to slap. Yeah, yeah, no, but I get it. You kind of have to have, you have to have a bad guy. And, and I think it's funny, I heard you talk on another podcast and I think it's funny how we have gone from a society that our dads were this, right? This was what our dad's jobs were kind of, they were the heavy, you know, and now they're not because they don't want to

hurt your feelings. And heaven forbid we do any of that. And also, you know, we just are more of a soft society, which I'm not saying it's not good in some ways, but then when you take something too far, society crumbles a little bit, right? Yeah, precisely. There's a there's a radical infantilization of the human race that has been occurring for a long time.

And I talk about it sometimes I think, I don't know if you've heard me talk about it, but there's a guy called Wilhelm Want and he's basically a progenitor of the philosophy of Hegel. And you know, anybody that's heard of conspiracy theories knows Hegelian dialect and things like that. But the Hegelian mindset is basically what has shaped the entire world in terms of psychological and philosophical thinking, as well as the

education system. So, you know, I guess I, I would like to say everything is a cult. Everything's based on a cult mentality. There is nothing in society that doesn't lead you back to a cult that started it. And that upsets a lot of people because they don't want to admit that.

Because they think that when you say that, that they have to put away their Bibles or they have to put away whatever piece of religious literature they're attached to, or they have to stop going to church or they have to stop doing this thing or that thing, you know, stop meditating or whatever. But it just, it doesn't work like that. Like you, you can't just stop being a person in the world because you figured some things out.

They can change your strategy for relating to the world and make you a better person, make you more kind and considerate and self reflective, which is what you're trying to do all the time anyway, right? So when you trace the lineage of everything, you realize that people have become weakened and they can't think for themselves and they can't emotionally regulate and they cannot create good things for themselves. And they pretty much spend most of their time at war with

themselves or with other people. And that's all because of Wilhelm Want and people like Adam Weiktopf and those the Freemasons and stuff like that, you know, so. And and also I wanted to mention for anybody, it's not an audio glitch. They're crickets. Just so you guys know, he lives in a cool place and he's got crickets up in the house. So not in his house, but you know what I mean? And I just want to mention that 'cause sometimes people will send me messages about it.

So we'll get that out of the way right now. But I do agree, Hagel, you know, they can even there's so many people that I'll see actually quote Hagel and then turn around and post something that is completely the Hegelian dialectic. And I'm like, wait a minute, what part of this are we not understanding?

And I'm not saying like, I don't know for you, but for me, nothing should be overtaking your life to the point that it's your God. Even if it is about God, even if it is about your family, even if it's about something you love and it's righteous and it's good. It can be all the good in the world, right and still be. You can still be wrong when it's right in a way of speaking because. I always talk about.

Yeah, John Dee, like he loved God, He loved God and he was trying to channel God and he was trying to do all these good wholesome things. And the next thing you know, he's sharing his wife with his buddy and raising his kids. So like it can go too far. It just. You got. To rein that back, other than God Almighty himself, I don't ever rain that back. But anything that's material here on this planet or whatever, I mean, you got to watch your energy, right?

Yeah, you do. Yeah, and, and I'm sure you see people all the time that make whatever their God. I made my daughter my God. I'll admit it right now. You know, in 2020, I woke up from that because she decided to cut me off. But I definitely could see afterward like, oh, this is probably a problem, even though it had nothing to do with why she cut me off. She got married and he just didn't like us.

But and that happens. I talk openly about it because I figured all these problems we get in life, you can either, you can either sabotage yourself, you know, hurt yourself, be inside yourself completely think you're alone, or you can speak about it. And you probably will be shocked how many people are going through the same, maybe not the same situation, but those same feelings, you know, and I know you spoke about that. And I'll let you take the floor there. Well, what exactly is the

question? Well, just about how people kind of get within themselves on a depression or, or sabotaging themselves or whatever with that and how that kind of happens without us realizing. Oh, people just learn that behavior. All that stuff like, like I just said, all this stuff that we believe about psychological diagnosis and the protocol for dealing with it and all that really stems back from what and the Hegelian way of thinking.

And so you've had all of these people that were Hegelians essentially that created the psychological associations and the journals and all that. And people that like anybody that is a licensed psychologist or psychiatrist that doesn't know that, they either don't want to know that because it'll cost them their job or they're just really dumb.

And I mean, to be explicit, these diagnosis, the criteria for these symptoms, people come up with that literally while they're taking a shit in a bathroom at the conferences and stuff. And they say, hey, you know what, we should change the bipolar to this or we should add this in. And you know, I just came up with this name for this. And you know, and you high 5 each other and don't wash their hands or whatever. And they go back to the meeting room and they vote on it.

So to these people, you are an object. You are a means to an end. You're a device that they can put ideas into your head about how to be depressed. Nobody telling me how how to be sad because that's all it is. You know, I'm sorry, we already have that emotion. Thank you. Yeah, I'm sorry for anybody that is going through depression right now, but it's not a brain imbalance. It's an adult sulk.

That's what it is. And you're completely in charge of it. But we're conditioned to think that we are powerless over this thing. And it all starts with the way that you think. And people don't realize that we're just playing out a series of programs all the time. And so you've probably heard me

say this, but what is a program? Well, a program is like a cereal box, and all of the information that's inside of the cereal box is the individual piece of Captain Crunch or whatever it is you want to imagine it as in your mind. So each individual piece is a blanket statement that's linked to that program. I'm not enough somehow, or I don't, I don't feel safe somehow, or I don't understand what it feels like to be loved by God or all these different things. Are are programs that people

have right? And so every attempt is made from the culture we see it especially online, the cult of psychotherapy and the New Age, and even even within the the religious realm now people are talking the most garbage and bringing in things like the affirmations and all these kinds of stuff to just basically Bogart people and try to steer them back into the culture of disempowerment whenever you hear me talk about. Them right it sounds, it sounds like a right, like a smart thing, right?

Yeah, I don't know. Yeah. Come up with something that sounds like it makes sense. You got them, you know, But it it's really a lot. It's just more simple than it really sounds. And that's the reason why people never really had mental illness way back in the day before all this stuff happened. I think it was few and far between that was real. And you could tell when it was, it wasn't like a little bit sad. It was it was like, OK, this person cannot literally function

in society at all, you know? And I kind of question if it those were TB is the more I learn. I'm like, was this really real or was this like an actual brain injury or a birth injury, you know? Yeah. You know, a lot of people don't understand the link between nutrition and mental illness. So there's a lot of people that just weren't happy because they

weren't eating right. And you can't blame them because you're talking about way back in the day when stuff wasn't readily available up to, what, 100 years ago, all this garbage that we shoved in our faces. Yeah. Yeah. You know how many? As a nurse I see so many people that have their labs completely crazy first vitamins for literal vitamins nowadays because they eat crap. Literally.

I'm not saying I don't ever eat crap, I'm just saying I try to cook at home for the most part, unless it's like a special thing or something. Like I really do my best to not, you know, subscribe to the fast food lane. Basically you. Know it's. Just dangerous, yeah. Well, there's fast poison or there's slow poison. I'd rather slow poison myself and make the stuff that I want to eat at home then do that, you know? Less ingredients to poison

yourself with anyways. At least you have control of what goes in there and it's not some polysorbi blah blah blah blah blah. 45 letter word like that. We can't even, you know, figure out what it is. I mean and and you know, like you said. Trisodium phosphate paint thinner like. So much stuff and then let alone the things you know in other countries that are that are regulated, that are not regulated in the United States is shocking to me. Like food tastes different when you travel.

It does a lot. Yeah. And you've been to the States, I think, so you probably know. The difference, you know, yeah, I got really sick when I was over there because of the food. Even the healthy food was terrible. Yeah, yeah, they say that, you know, Americans are fat 'cause they're lazy. Actually Americans are pretty UN lazy. It's just they just feed us basically petroleum all the time and you know you're getting it and everything.

And even like you said, the healthy things are almost more dangerous because at times like the lettuce or the tomatoes or whatever, they absorb even more of the chemical unless you're getting it locally. So I don't even know what to do with that You. Know that's exactly why people sell sabotage because they get to their next meal and they're like I know this is bad for me and I know that if I eat this I'm putting potentially tomorrow at risk in some cases.

And they just they're like screw it. They get a good case of the fuck it and they just put it in the whole way, you know? So true. So I. Get those all the time. I just, yeah, I just try to let everybody know it's not your fault, really when it comes to those kinds of things. Because there's literally people sitting there in labs that it's either a computer lab or it's a science lab, and they're trying to figure out how do I target this person's limbic response, you know? Right.

Yeah. And hormonal. And it's so sad to see because, you know, you look at the differences between like the 70s and in the United States, these old pictures, right, on the beaches. And nobody's really that heavy. Like heavy was like my grandma was considered heavy. She was not heavy. She was maybe like a curvy size 12 or something. She had a, a thyroid problem like I do. And, you know, I'm just like, wow, OK, that's weird. But like, now, I mean, you're seeing you.

Yeah. Upwards. Of. I mean, 500 LB people, and if that is you, I'm not saying anything against you. I'm just saying we all know that's an issue, right? That we're not supposed to be at that level, nor are we supposed to be 70 lbs. I mean, we just got to have balance, you know, balance and everything. But I think that, yeah, it's important that, you know, people understand also the effects of of not only propaganda and government regulation on our food.

But one thing I definitely want to talk with you about is television. Cause the ads and all this. And I'll let you take it away on on the effects of that 'cause I know, I know it's something. Yeah. Well, so basically when you're talking about the TV, you're talking about the limbic system, and you're talking about the same mechanisms when you're dealing with the food as well. Because basically what's happening is that you have these three limbic pathways that are targeted by everything.

You know, the people that make the TV sets, they probably know the people in the labs making all the crazy death rectangles, as I call them. And you know, the chemicals in the foods and stuff, they're basically trying to stimulate one or three pathways all at the same time. So the first one is like the reward pathway. And that sounds pretty, pretty self-explanatory. It's just made-up of these neurons that are basically sending and receiving information.

And they're taking different neurotransmitters. And a neurotransmitter really is just information that has to be decoded in another part of your brain essentially. And neurotransmitters are controlling you like all the way through, like doesn't matter what you think. Sometimes in certain situations, if there's a neurotransmitter that's involved, you're screwed because you're just trying to

get a reward for it, you know? So there's a lot of things that happen where different collections, neurons fire. And the main one that's considered to be problematic in this instance with the reward pathway is the ventral tegmental area, because it's just basically sending more dopamine to another part of your brain, which is the nucleus accumbens. And that gives you that feeling of reward and like motivation

and is also a learning pathway. So when you watch a social media video and you feel smart, that's what that is. You know, you also get the dopamine and stuff from the using the screens, right? But you, you basically learn what feels good for you through the nucleus accumbens having that response. And so that's why people get stuck on alcohol and porn and shopping or masturbation or picking balls of hair out to train, you know, all kinds of weird addictions. It's because something's

happening in your brain, right? And it's literally releasing endogenous opioids, which is having the same effect on the brain as heroin. So even if it's bad for you, you're going to continue to do it because that's what's happening. And then you're also stimulating contentment pathways. So, and that's really all about the prefrontal cortex and the somebody called the dorsal refi nucleus, which produces a very small amount of serotonin and it spreads that out all over your cerebral sex.

And that's basically helping you to process experiences and make good judgments. So if something's good or bad and you know, serotonin spreads out and it it's working differently, pop psychology doesn't want you to know that it does more than one thing, right? So it's depending on which part of the brain it's acting on, it's going to give a different effect. And you know, that's kind of one of those things that it gets a little bit screwy to explain.

It'll take another three hours. But the other, the other pathway is my favorite because it's, it's where all the good stuff is at. I mean, like the stress fear memory pathway. And that is basically the one that the guys in the labs are trying to get to the most. And that's the one that's stimulated by the television the most because. Whenever you watch TV or prefrontal cortex deactivates right here at the front.

And that's the seat of your spiritual insight, your ability to rationalize your wisdom, decision making, all that good stuff that you need. And so if that gets deactivated in less than 90 seconds, for instance, and the rest of the brain has to work really hard to try to fill the role of a part of your brain that has executive function, right? And I guess in within the stress fear memory pathway, there's these 4 main areas that are considered to be the targets,

which would be the amygdala. And then we all know that's pretty much related to stress. And then the amygdala is talking to the hypothalamus, which is controlling the cortisol. So that's more stress because the stress hormones now pumping even more. And then, you know, the hippocampus is trying to figure out what's going on. So that's where your memories are AT. And so you're interpreting the memories that are coming from

the television. Essentially, anything you watch becomes a memory for you, and it becomes a part of your personal history. So because the subconscious mind doesn't know the difference between the reality and what is on the television, you're referencing things in your life in the present moment based on stuff that you've seen. God knows how long ago, you know. And so the prefrontal cortex gets weakened. And that's supposed to be helping you parse this

information. It's supposed to be helping you take control of your life and make good choices. But it can't do anything for you if you just beat it down all the time. If you're always scrolling on social media and you're always watching TV and you are eating chemicals and stuff that are stimulating all of these parts of the brain negatively, then you know what? What are you going to do? You're going to make all the bad

choices that are there, right? And so those 3 pathways are pretty much responsible for generating all of your emotions. And you want to focus on the concept that it's especially your reward and your contentment and your fear. If you break it down to just being as simple as that and don't think about anything else that I've said, then you've pretty much got it. And you should understand that you're in danger. You know, it's kind of like Ralphie. I'm in danger.

Like seriously, we are seriously screwed because these people have been working for so long and so hard to figure out exactly how to shut these parts of us off, you know? Right, well, and, and it shuts down creativity like I'm always telling my family instead of TV, even if it's something stupid like coloring or, you know, gem art or whatever, some something where you're making anything, anything is better than that, you know, because or a podcast where you're learning something.

Not saying you can't learn on TV 'cause you can, but like it's got to be intention, right? Everything's intention. What are you trying to learn? What are you? Are you do scrolling or are you actually studying like and I'm not saying I never do it. I'm just saying if you are creating or doing something constructive then it changes the game you know? But just doom scroll city or you

know, silly sitcoms. Not, not that I never do it, but I have a hard time to be honest if unless it's a documentary or something that I'm learning. I have a really hard time anymore with TV. Well, nobody needs to be watching sitcoms ever. Sitcoms exist because everything that's bad for you is packaged up as being fun on purpose. So that's how they get all this information in your head, especially when it comes to interpersonal relationships and

things about money and whatnot. They can get you to go ha ha, ha at it. Then they got you because you're going to carry out, you know, Will and Grace's behaviors or Frasier or Friends or whatever, all these different things. That's why they have reruns all the time.

That's why these same TV shows are on pretty much every generic television station ever, and that's why they're scattered all throughout the globe for other people to watch those things, because they want you to become those characters, right? Right. Yep. So they do their best. Yeah, they scandalous. Right. It's always some scandal, like it's never like the best thing ever.

It's always like so and so was cheating on their wife or husband or there's this crazy thing or, or they're spending all their money on gambling, whatever it is. And you're like, this is not real life, you know? Yeah, Yeah. That's how it becomes real life because they, you know, let's see, when did Friends come out? In the early 90s. And now there's a whole generation of people that are actually as stupid as Ross Geller because that TV show existed, right?

But it's it's screwed up because, you know, you add in the behaviors of the characters and then you think about the commercials that often come in between and it's the same stuff. It's you know, it's pushing you in the direction of learning problems. If you're a kid, you're going to have problems at school. You're going to be pre exposed to things that will lead you down the path of drugs and alcohol, smoking, you probably going to end up obese.

You're going to pick up inappropriate sexual behavior in one form or another. And you know, what is that? What is any of that really going to get you? Like people really think that watching these, like you said, scandalous TV shows and stuff are serving a purpose. But he, I think it's the average kid by age 18 has seen 2000 acts of murder and rape. I mean, that's crazy, you know, like, so Can you imagine what that's doing to your psyche,

right? And apart from all of the sex and all the violence and stuff in these TV shows, and apart from the drug use, the other main themes are satanic worship or like dark magic, witchcraft and actually hating God and stuff like that, you know, and. There's definitely no Jesus. Yeah, there's no God on shows unless they're demonizing it, that's for sure. Yeah, precisely. And even some of the religious programming gives you the wrong impression about what's going on there too.

And I think that that's the purpose of it. And things like TBN and stuff, my grandmother used to watch TBN back in the day and it would drive me crazy because it just, none of the stuff that they were saying made any sense. It just, they just kind of looked like they were up to no good, you know? Does that make sense to you? Like they just these TV preachers and stuff, you gotta watch them 'cause they just want your money and your soul, you know? No for sure.

Anything that's after money, you should probably, whether it's religious or not, you should probably be concerned, like wary, you know? Yeah, we should run. Yeah. What happened? I said about the TV. Yeah, exactly. Well, I think it gets into definite mind control and let alone revelation of the method, right. I mean, subconsciously they're getting away with things in your mind that you can't even see like on the TV.

Like, we're not just talking about overt, we're talking about little tiny sneaky things like that. They sneak in there, you know? Yeah, yeah. Wash their hands, you know. Yeah, and it's just as if that wasn't the worst thing. It's the actual biological effect of the television itself. The machinery is a biological

weapon. And you know, we've all just been a part of a huge experiment where they're only now admitting that the TV in itself is responsible for lowering IQ in people, like decreasing their verbal abilities, decreasing their literacy, creating antisocial behavior, you know, creating addiction, poor mental health. You know, it just has skyrocketed.

And because of that, because of the damage to like the hypothalamus and the sensory motor area and your visual cortex and all these different things, you're getting all these different health problems that you wouldn't even think. And I think it's even like borderline personality disorder. So they say. So they have labeled it. It's increasing the likelihood of people to develop characteristics of that the TV when you're not in front of it.

Like if you're a TELEVISION addict, it makes actually makes people depressed because of the chemical reactions in the brain when the TV is on versus when it's not on. You know, the likelihood of engaging in criminal activity increases by like 27 percent or something like that.

There's an interesting story. There's a professor, Jerry Cross, I can't remember what university he's from, but he does have a YouTube channel and he talks about the movie Gone in 60 Seconds in a place called Barnaby, British Columbia. The day after that movie came out, the crying skyrocketed because everybody was stealing cars. Everybody wanted to be Nicolas Cage, you know, And that kind of

stuff happens all the time. So you can only imagine how many people get raped or robbed or murdered when the next box office hit comes out, you know? Absolutely. I mean, there's a reason for these things that they wouldn't spend millions of dollars on studies of mice and different things to figure all this out for nothing. Like they definitely have a reason. Yeah. And I, I think it's funny people miss that. It's called television programming. They dropped that, right?

It's just TV now. But. Yeah, it came out. When it came out, it was television programming and. So. It's just even this week the whole Trump thing happened. And I am not an idolater of any of the sort of any politics or otherwise. Like it's it's irrelevant to me or to my life because none of them are going to save us. Like that's not where it's at. And so, but I've watched it just saturate the the web, much like the hawk to a girl the week

before. And I'm like. She's another industry plant too, yeah. Yeah, what are they doing here? You know, Oh boy. And. I mean. It's not real life like what what you know, it's just. Yeah, political thinking is one of the most useless devices out there. The only thing that's going to get you anywhere in this lifetime is going to be your ability to self regulate and to self reflect in your relationship with God, whatever that may be.

Whatever faith you are of, as long as you use that to your advantage and use it as the driving force behind doing good things, then you'll be all right. But following politics? No way. Yeah, none of it. Yeah, none of it. Yeah, I mean, it's all just theater, you know, it's, it's the same thing as watching a play. And I, I, I know that really bothers some people 'cause they're like, no, God saved him or, you know, this happened or that happened. I don't know what happened,

'cause I wasn't there. But I can tell you this, the way they took advantage of it, whether or not whatever happened that day was the problem, right? They took, they let nothing go to waste. When it's some big thing like that, whether it was orchestrated or not, I raise an eyebrow personally. But whatever, whatever the case may be, I'll say this. He's Dang lucky if that wasn't orchestrated. No, it definitely was.

It definitely was orchestrated. And there there's, you know, I don't even want to get into stuff like this, but there's 2 Donald Trump. Yeah, yeah, it's crazy. It's like what? And there I don't know how many Bidens there are going to be at least five of them 'cause they none of them look the same. They. Don't they? Get they got to get a better job on that. Like, I don't know what's happening over there. Like get get at least the guy that has the same earlobes, like.

Yeah, I was having a good laugh the other day when somebody said that on ancestry.com. It says Joe Biden died in 2018. I laughed so hard. Some of this stuff is really out there. Yeah, yeah. It's a weird situation. And then, you know, I have to ask you this one about Colts because you know about, I don't know if you know my history, but I was a Mormon for 34 years. One of the best underrated cults ever. I feel they get, they get away with a lot because they're like,

we're not a cult. We're just good guys. And I'm like. Yeah, but then again, Joseph Smith, right? Right, quite, quite the guy over there. So how about those brainwashing techniques? How about that? We'll go down this little path since I do live in Utah. Yeah, You know, I, one of my best friends grew up in a culture. It was also, it was also Mormon. And basically she, her sisters and her mother couldn't do much of anything. It is basically or washing

people's underwear. And it was a terrible experience, but they eventually got out of it and everybody called her mother crazy and stuff like that for trying to get out of the cold and whatnot. But she wanted more for the kids, you know. But anyways, there's there's these five basic forms of mind control that are used is brainwashing, hypnosis, manipulation, persuasion and deception. And all of those techniques are basically what cults love to do. So if you think about it, what

do cults do? They want to convince somebody to give up whatever their current beliefs are in order to take on some kind of new set of values, right? And I mean, one of the most common ways that people fall into cults is like, you know, they move from 1 country to another or something. And because they feel like a fish out of water, they want to adapt to their surroundings as

quickly as possible. So anybody can be kind of like you want to fit in, come here and they can pretty much take you to a meeting and next thing you know you are a nappy head hippie somewhere, you know it on a compound doing something or the other. I mean, that sounds ridiculous, but it really does happen. So I mean, I even dealt with a case couple years ago where this lady heard next door neighbors kidnapped her and shipped her off to a compound in Guyana. And she was in Canada. Holy cow.

Yeah. And, And it was like, I was like, so she basically almost got Jonestown again. But you know, brainwashing in itself is that thing like we're probably going to see it happen again in November when a different color party takes over. Because I think that's where we're heading with that Trump

thing. And all of the stuff that's happening now with like the people wearing the stupid stuff on the ear, the ear bandage or whatever, all that's a sign that those people have been brainwashed. Basically, you get coerced into playing along, you know, going go along to get along. And so they start to usher in a certain new set of rules and ideas and stuff whenever a new political party takes over. But essentially the people who buy and let's say like a political cult is the same thing

as the Mormons or whatever. You have to get people to be separate from everything that they know, and that causes a different emotional state to open them up and make them susceptible to taking in new concepts and commands.

If you are vulnerable, like let's say you're, I don't know, you just got out of a bad relationship or something and you move to a new country to get away from it and you're scared and paranoid and you don't know anybody, then you're going to be willing to let anybody that's nice to you be your friend because you just want to get in there, right? And I mean, it's difficult, it's difficult to list like the never ending commands and stuff that people use because it's all the

same thing. And because all behavior is just reward based. Rewards are what are used to reinforce the brainwashing, right? So not every case requires you to be in isolation. As we can see, social media has made it so that you isolate yourself mentally. But you could be in a room with a bunch of people just doom scrolling and the cult can be talking to you from the other side of the screen, right?

So once a person is in that susceptible state of isolation, so to speak, their sense of self breaks down and you begin to lose yourself and you begin to lose any willpower that you have that would make you feel comfortable enough to actually take a look at what's going on inside of you, right? And so you begin to rely on external input and commands from whoever is the perceived authority. That's why the God stuff works so well. That's why people can come up with so much false God stuff.

And it works like gangbusters every time because people are wired to have a faith in something. You know, you, if you don't have a faith in something, you will actually begin to die. They've discovered that that happens in atheists. They begin to shut down, you know, like very slowly. So you can get people pretty, pretty easy if all you do is just break down the self and break the identity of that person. And that causes them to be open to a new identity.

And if you notice, like a lot of cults and stuff, a lot of it's just like opinions and stuff or to insult and stuff. And they just attack you. They attack whatever sense of self that you have and they attack your core beliefs. And that's what they do. They, they gas like you, manipulate you, cuss you out if they have to because they're just demonic. Honestly, there's no other word

for it than that, you know? And you know when when they finally wear you down, then that's when they got you, you know, And for a lot of people, it doesn't even take a lot to get mentally exhausted and get confused that you just begin to accept these ideas. You know, like even people who aren't. Because there's elements of guilt and shame. It's like, OK, well, I don't want to abandon my friend who I love, right? So I feel guilty if I stick with my morals and my values.

So I'll continue to to take on this person's new ideas or whatever the case is. And that's how they get you too, because it's eating away at your identity. And guilt and shame have always been used historically to convince people that they're bad people. And it doesn't matter. It could be a big thing or it could be a small thing that they attack. But once you get somebody to reach a point of shame, they're pretty much going to go along with whatever the solution to

that is, you know? And I'm sure you can identify with the self betrayal aspect of it. The self betrayal, yeah. The this whole story is really resonating with me because this is a lot what happened to my my kid is she met a guy after a horrible violation on her. She had a terrible thing happened to her and she didn't date after that. But that a pilot did that. And the first guy she dates after this happened Is this pilot, a new pilot. And you know, he's cut her off

from everybody. He says it's not him. He, me and her were best friends. The next thing I know, I'm basically the Antichrist. He's moved her away, cut off all ties with everything, and none of us saw her again for five years, not even the people she stays in touch with that have tried. Right. Like, I, I want to come there when you have a baby. I want to come there. But it was just like, oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Oh, sorry. No, you know, And then next thing we know, she's saying weird things to people. Like, you wouldn't even know me anymore. I'm a completely different person. And I, I truly believe that's probably true, you know? And. Now, now she has a new identity. It's so weird to watch from the sideline. You know, I'm not even in the middle, 'cause I'm cut off, 'cause I'm noisy. See, you didn't want me around 'cause I'm not the one like I, I would be like, no you.

Know. And I think he clearly saw that quickly out of the gate and was like, oh, your mom is. I pulled her credit in her background check and and she used to sell drugs. I'm a nurse, dude. Like my fingerprints are uploaded to the FBI. They're pretty sure about me, unlike you. Like sorry, sorry. I have to do checks and balances. Like they're not just going to let people around, old people or young mentally ill people, whatever. You know, they do these

extensive background checks. So, but it didn't matter what I said or how I said it. It did not matter it it was like it was true even though I could prove it wasn't true, right? It was very strange. Yeah. It's interesting how being in a relationship with a narcissist or a psychopath is exactly like being in a cult. Yeah, so weird. Yeah, 'cause they have to.

They like, yeah, they have to, like, manipulate you, and they have to triangulate all the people around you to make you convinced, you know, that everybody's out to get you or that you're under, like, the threat of physical harm or some other kind of immediate danger, even though you don't. They don't even have to, like, outright threaten you or anything. You just have to have this internal feeling that something bad is going to happen if you don't give up your old identity, you know?

Right. Yeah, she did too. She came here and cleaned out her, like all her prom things, like anything that meant something that she'd been holding on to, Like she just. Got to discard that close friends and family. Bye bye. Yeah, it was so weird to me. And now she very first saw her, her brothers and sisters for the first time in five years. Of course, I can't be around or come because I'm on the no no list. But they said it was nice to see

her, but she wasn't available. Like, they could feel it. It was different, you know, It wasn't the same person. They knew like very much changed, closed off and you just don't expect that from somebody that you know so well, you know? Yeah. Very weird. But it's rampant. It is rampant out there. It is. It's just unbelievable. And I've seen a lot of clients and stuff that are coming out of those cult like relationships they're in, you know, in deep

with a narcissist or something. And they don't even know anything about brainwashing or programming or mind control or anything like that. So they don't see the correlation between things. I work with a lot of she thinks she's. Her savior? Yeah, she thinks he's the best thing since. Sliced bread, you know, and codependency on that level. There's something in that person's subconscious that makes

them a slave in the 1st place. And, you know, in certain instances, I don't want to give any personal details of anybody, but they've had abuse in the past or it's been like things that they've witnessed on TV or things that they witnessed within the family system that they just kind of emotionally identified with that and it broke them so that later on in their lives they became codependent. And it happens to little girls too.

Like when we jokingly say daddy issues, that's a real thing that it's essentially a form of brainwashing where your your father has abandoned you and you're craving for that father figure. That's literally that happened. Yeah, literally that was the situation as well. And I'm such a strong person that I always told my girls

like, you don't act like that. You you pick yourself up and you you do what you got to do. You go to school, you make sure you're independent, you know, all these things. Even if you do stay home and be a stay at home mom, you make sure right? You But but that wasn't well received. It was like an attack. Like, oh, you're saying we might get divorced? I'm like, Nah, I'm just saying shit happens.

You know what I mean? Like whatever, like people die, people get sick, people other problems than divorce. And it was just strange to watch from the sidelines. I'm still watching from the sidelines. Because when you're the person that wants to help these people, you can't get involved 'cause it makes it worse. I mean, they, it's their journey, right? You're just there if they finally need help and come to you, you know? Yeah, you can be the hard trooper. Yeah, I want to.

Yeah, unfortunately, you just can't want more for somebody than what they want for themselves. You can't make them learn. Life lessons, like wisdom is not something that you can really impart. You can just talk about it, but until you experience it, you figure it out for yourself. You don't know anything. Yeah, and if you go and act like that, like the stormtrooper mom, then you're as crazy as they say you are. So exactly. Exactly. Can't play with a narcissist. You can't.

You can't engage it. It's just not a thing. You just have to wait, you know? You know, that's where like in my personal life, I've kind of become the personality where if I know somebody's a narcissist, I, I pretty much choke him out in the first chance I get. I tell him, I tell him I will cut you in front and God in everybody, but don't play with me. You're like, don't mess with me. And they back off, yeah. And they back off, Yeah.

This one was sneaky. He was so, so smooth, really impressive, actually really impressive for a young kid cause but also I should have noticed some of the signs like really big overachiever and this and that. Like, I mean, there's things there that not all the attributes are negative. That's the problem. People see them as, wow, look at this great person. You know, they're such a great guy and I'm just.

I'll jump in right here and I'll tell everybody there's something called a hair test HARE, and it's a psychological tool. You can get it online. You can just Google it honestly, and it should take you to a page where you can take that test. It's like 10 questions or something and you can basically be like, OK, is this person that I'm thinking of a psychopath or a narcissist or whatever, anything you can take that test and you can be like, oh, shoot, I gotta, you gotta get out of

this situation. Yeah, yeah. But yeah. Yeah, sometimes they're in so deep now she's had a baby and they're married and yeah, so at this. Point Yeah, it's gonna be a long time. Yeah, it's gonna be a long time before she realizes anything, because now that baby is gonna completely pull her deeper than ever before, you know? Yep, and it's already been five years and I just never could imagine this life like how it is 'cause she was so close to me.

And I just step back and go like this is so crappy and and you want to, like I said, be crazy and go save the day. But the problem is she doesn't want saved. You know, you can't save someone if they are happy where they are. I mean, it's just not saving to her, you know. And so I don't. I just told her one time. I finally got to talk to her once and I just said my door is always open. You know that I love you. I I'll always love you. It doesn't matter. Doesn't matter what's happened

or what what will happen. I'm your mom. Moms don't quit, you know. Yeah, that's about all you can do. Yeah, Yep. And so for the never underestimate yeah, going through this, check out that test, he said. Because. Yeah, because a lot of times we tell ourselves that the person all, you know, that's just because of something that happened or, you know, maybe they're not really being that way. Maybe they're just, you know, that's just a coincidence or

whatever. We self justify other people's behavior just as much as we do our own shitty behavior. And that's how we get caught. You know, it's not that we don't see the signs, but yeah, where was I was at self betrayal? That's like the middle of the whole thing. So from the self betrayal, they usually try to get you to reach a breaking point. And that breaking point is that part of the journey where the person is beginning to question themselves. Now they're self justifying

more. They're in a identity crisis. Who am I, where am I? What am I supposed to do? And behind all that is the shame and the guilt. A lot of it is usually heading to some type of mental breakdown, but not maybe not in the sense that it would I expect it to be. But there's so much fear and anxiety and depression and frustration and stuff that by that time that person is only looking for a solution.

And like in that situation, we were just talking about the narcissist who was giving you a solution. You know, let's just run away and forget about all your family, you know? Yep, Let's just be under my. I'll give. You everything you want if you just do what I say. Yeah. And so the solution is usually the last step. And in conventional brainwashing, it's always going to be a sacrifice of values and beliefs in yourself concept.

That's essentially where everything begins and ends with giving up all that for something new. And it's, you know, a lot of it's ridiculous stuff to be honest with like exit counseling.

It's so difficult because when people are trying to get away from a cult, the only thing that you can do is like put push them towards something like of the religious nature for them to self realize on their own and start to put themselves in a a similar but slightly different space, if that makes sense, where they can begin to self reflect one very small fraction of information at a time so that they can process.

Because a lot of the times there with the sense of self being broken down, they begin to become fragmented. You know, and it takes a really strong person to be like, you know what, screw this, I'm done and walk away from that. So because you have, whether it's the cult of disempowerment that is society screaming at you, I can help you, or if it's a mental health cult and it's like, you know, it's OK to not be OK. That's the catch phrase.

You know, they're convincing you that being disempowered is empowering somehow. You know, you can trust me. It's usually that kind of language that the narcissist or an evil person in society or the politicians or whoever, you know, the cult leader is, that's what they're using to keep you there and to keep you from ever trusting your intuition because they want all of you. They want all of your trust.

And they want to get you to admit that the way that you acted before you were near them or believe in their lies is wrong. You know, and that's just it. It's, you see a lot of beating down and and broken people out there in society and you just kind of know that something, something happened to them that, yeah, that the present version of themselves is a new self, so to speak.

That they've taken on some emotional upheaval and they're now wearing a label, a new identity, a new set of beliefs just to get by, you know? So it's, it's not just like I'm trying to tie everything that goes on out there together with this, because people don't really understand that brainwashing is such a broad thing and it's happening to pretty much everybody. Everybody's brainwashed by something and it's a long road out of hell, so to speak.

Yeah, for sure. And, and some of us are born into it, much like I was, Like I, I can't even, you know, identify a time where I didn't believe it until I was so old that I could finally see, you know, but it took so long, you know, once you're born in. And that's why the FBI and the CIA come to Utah to recruit often because they always want to say, well, it's because they the Mormons don't drink and they don't, you know, party and they, they don't do drugs and they

don't do this and that. So they're clean cut and they can trust them. No, that's not why. No, they're. Not. Yeah, 'cause they're not doing it too yamish so. Yeah, exactly. And they want the people that have already been started down that MK Ultra trail, right? Like, oh, half the job is already complete. I just gotta pop my little two cents in there, you know? The MK Ultra trail is another thing, because that's all a part

of the grand design as well. Where, you know, caffeine was used in the MPK Ultra experiments and so they convinced us to drink it like crazy because it'll make us better somehow at things. When caffeine's really a, a poison. It's a, a pesticide in itself.

It creates its own pesticide to kill the bugs that land on it and to kill all of the plants that compete with it in the space that it is growing in. And so we put poison into our bodies trying to avoid the pesticides in the food, and we go and drink a cup of coffee and negate all that, you know, and it deactivates the brain. And So what would you do if you were a world controller and you wanted to get billions of people

under your control? Give them something that makes them have the perception of feeling good, that actually turns the brain activity down to nothing after 10 minutes of drinking it. And then tell him it's good for you. Tell him drink 8 cups a day because the study that we paid for says it's good, right? And then they go along with whatever.

So there's just all this different stuff in society that we're taught that we think is good for us or it's fun or, you know, it's helping us somehow and it's really not. You know, the same thing goes for like marijuana and stuff. They're only now starting to really be honest about the effects of that on the brain, especially the hippocampus and

things like that. And, you know, destruction that it's done and what it it does to keep people from, I guess, becoming the best version of themselves that they can be because they just get goofy. That's the best they get like. Really not as striving. I feel like everybody that I've known that's had a really hard addiction to it, you know, they, they just want to chill, you know, it becomes this chilling thing for a long time. Not that they can't accomplish

things at all. I'm not saying that, but it I definitely think everything has to have a balance. Like you cannot be dependent on anything. I don't care if it's water, even water can kill you if you drink too much of it. So. You know, we have to have balance.

We. Have to, yeah, it's all the social pressure and stuff too, 'cause mass manipulation pretty much depends on social pressure to ensure that the control mechanisms are in place, you know, and we see, we see what happens out there, like people will police each other, right, Because they. The subconscious mind is looking for safety and it loves the feeling of safety in the herd, it wants to emulate the common behavior in the environment.

So whatever other people are doing, you automatically want to do that too. And it's really hard to break out of that because 95 to 99% of your thinking, depending on how strong you are, I mean an extra 4%, it's not really great, is it? So you know, you're pretty much screwed. So I think that people, the biggest mistake that people make with self sabotage is and not understanding exactly how powerless we are to a lot of

different things. As soon as you realize that you can so easily give up your power to something, and somebody can so easily manipulate you, and you realize that as smart as you are, as much as you've accomplished in your life, there's still so much more that you don't know than what you actually know, especially about yourself, then you know there's a lot to be said. Oh yeah, there's always learning. Once you know everything, you're in trouble because it's just not the way life goes.

It all could change tomorrow because the situation changes, right? We all have to adapt and change and learn and learn. Until you pass away, honestly, you're never going to know it all, hopefully, because then there's no point. It takes away the value of learning. And that's, that's sad. So anything else that you want to share with us today? I don't know, ask me more questions, I'll share more.

All right, let me look. Those were the ones I wrote down 'cause I wasn't sure how long we would interpret. You know, sometimes I go off on tangents, as you all see. Then I go on the weeds and keep going. I'm enjoying it. We should hang out more. I like it. How about this hijacking and parasitic entities? That was scary. Well, consciousness hijacking is a scary thing. I mean, I've had people with entity attachments in the straight up yelled at me because they were making a breakthrough.

You know, when these entities attach themselves, they're attaching themselves to a version of you that exists in the quantum field, if that makes sense. Because they can't, they, they have to do it in that way in order to make themselves manifest in this realm.

Even the Bible says that, right? So it's difficult to deal with those things because many times it's kind of like having a narcissistic relationship where the person is codependent on that demon, those voices in their heads telling them what to do. And it he often times it's a lot of paranoia that you have to wade through. And it's a lot of fear that you have to wade through.

And yeah, I can usually tell when somebody has an issue like that because first of all, they won't want to pay for the service. It'll be like pulling teeth. Secondly, they question everything that you say and they're afraid to do certain things and like they will never, ever do certain things that you say. A lot of it, when it's drug related, a lot of that's like

entity stuff. And I think somebody will wake up. I had a client years ago, she just called me up and she was like, I don't know what happened, but I woke up in a crack then and now I'm in the hospital and I was like, OK then well, that was interesting turn of events for you. But she had no recollection whatsoever. And often times people do things on autopilot and they just don't even know that they did it. And that's what keeps them from getting any better because these

things will talk to them. And like, they will start displaying like schizophrenic tendencies. And they'll be thinking that when they enter a room that everybody's talking about them or that their boyfriend or girlfriend or husband or wife is cheating on them or saying things about them behind their back or all these different made-up scenarios. So it's the most common ones. It's insidious because they get on you through the death rectangles too, because it's, it's a lot of this content

lowers your frequency. Again, it's targeting your limbic system. And so the first step to that is lowering your frequency, disabling your your spiritual seat and allowing those things to bind it to a part of your soul. And you have to consent to it. I guess you're sitting around. Yeah, if you're sitting around. I mean, look, I'll be very explicit here. Everybody loves stits, you know, but if you, if you that's. True. Even girls.

Yeah, if you can't stop looking at porn and stuff and and it's like a compulsion to you. Yes, there's that addictive thing going on, but then there's also that part of you that says, hey, you know what? I haven't checked my Tumblr in a while, Let's go on there. Oh, look, 1000 porn gifts. Let's just look at all of them and they're like, you're just smiling. You're like, oh man, tits are

great. And then you just keep going, you know, like and you think that that's you that's doing the talking, but it's something that's pulling the strings. Same thing happens with alcoholism and stuff like that. There's so many components to alcoholism too. That's like everybody's seen. For some reason, I haven't been able to get away with posting it. I've been slapped every single time throughout the years. I've tried to post it but the concept of the body eating

spirit. You know, like everybody knows by now. Or they should. Nobody. Yeah, like, like all these different things that, that are out there and they're that, that is the scariest one because a, it's the hardest one. It's the easiest 1 to get 'cause it's not illegal unless you're underage. And most of the time most kids can even get around that. And then it's also the scariest 1 to detox people off of 'cause that's what I do as a nurse And,

and it's really terrifying. You literally can die. It is the one thing that we do not just cold Turkey people off of. Like if you come in on meth, we're like, there's your bed, go sleep it off. Like really that's what. And then we're going to help you and program and all those things, but we're not going to do much else. Like you're not going to be miserable or whatever, but like alcohol, that's a whole nother. It's a whole nother thing. Yeah.

And as you would know, a lot of people aren't getting what they need in terms of their nutrition. So the detox process actually goes on for a long, long time after that for alcohol where years passed by and those cravens won't stop. And you know, you get a lot of different, a lot of different thought processes will keep you stuck. You know, like people will say, oh, I just, I can't do anything about it because it's just my body wants it. Or these are the things that

they used to justify. Yeah. I'd be like, oh, I, you know, I don't have any control over it. Or it'll say once I start craving it, I just don't have any control over my behavior or my choices or anything like that. When in fact, if you know that you have a craving and you can become aware that you have a craving, that's your point of power right there. You just say no, right? That's what that's all about. But, you know, people get angry and holler at you.

You know, sometimes you get a a demon voice like you don't know what it's like or. You know, so true, it's so true. And I've seen, I've seen the difference when we get people in sometimes that are actually having a genetic problem like an illness versus an attachment. And I can tell every time because and I didn't used to be able to, but now it's a lot different. And as as I've just journeyed through my own stuff, I can almost spot it.

But they'll always hate me. They'll hate me with the most hate they've ever hated. And I'm like, I didn't even do anything. I just walked in the room like it doesn't matter. And the people at work will laugh. They're like, jeez, he's like crazy with you. What's the deal? I'm like, I have no idea. Like, but I do. But I just. It's your light. It's your light. People at work.

Yeah, yeah, it's so it's true. Like your light scare will scare a lot of people with entity attachments and stuff. But even if there's no attachment, like you were saying, deliver has its own intelligence where it becomes addicted to sugar and different things like that. And so it wants to have the alcohol. And as you know, the liver is linked to anger and stuff like that. So some people will get really nasty during the detox because of that very fact, you know?

Oh, yeah. And, and The funny thing is, is to your point about nutrition, the things we give to them as they come in, within 24 hours, we give them a vitamin B shot and we give them magnesium. We have to because it's so bad that it's it's like literally taking over everything in your body. And it's so hard on people, like you can see somebody that's super young and you're like, Oh my gosh, like they look 50. You know, it is a, that is a

hard wearing drug. And I know people have a hard time with it 'cause some people can have a drink on Christmas, so like New Year's Eve or whatever and never do it again. And some people can't. And that's just the facts. And you know which one you are by the time you're 20. I think most people, I mean most people that have had a drink or two know by that time and you have to swear it off. Like I feel bad that that's the case.

But if you know, and it could be anything, not just alcohol, like whatever drug is your drug, you know what it is. Yeah, I was one of the fortunate ones. Yeah, alcohol, whatever it is, drugs, it doesn't matter what. Yeah, I was very fortunate. I'll tell you what I, I was addicted to alcohol and then I started doing cocaine because it allowed me to drink more. So it wasn't an issue if there was, there was no coke present as long as there was more

alcohol, right? You know, when you take the coke, you, it wakes you up and you, you can keep drinking for a while. And so that's why I would do, and I walked away from both of those things cold Turkey. It never did me anything. And I, I think that I'm extremely protected by some divine power because nothing, yeah, nothing happened. And I mean, I smoked cigarettes

too. And I just kind of had a moment where I was smoking it because, you know, you got to have something when you stop those things. And I kept smoking for a while. And then it, it was freezing cold and I was outside smoking this damn cigarette. And I'm like, this doesn't even taste good. Why do I do this? I toss it on the ground. And that never happened again, you know, So but you have to

want more for yourself. You have to be better than the day before or you will definitely crumble and crash. And people who are chronic self sabotagers, they spend most of their time trying to continue doing the thing that they're doing. And it's most, it's mostly self sabotage that's coming from the subconscious.

And so it just wants more familiarity and that's all it is. And people who use any substance, it could be alcohol or anything else, they're usually saying things like life is boring without using that's the the the dialogue that's happening subconsciously or, or I. Can't handle this without. You know I can't handle life without. I can't function. Yeah, I can't function without it. You know, this is the only way to cope with the pain in my life.

A lot of people that come to me, they just know that they're not ready to stop, but they're ready and they know that the language underneath the surface is constantly tugging against them every time they try to make a pull in the right direction. And you know, we just talked about the people who blame their cravings and their urges, but there's just, there's people out there that really literally think that their life can't get any better even if they stop using whatever it is.

And the same goes for sugar. That's how addictive sugar is, because people will say these same things that like, life is going to be depressing if I stop eating sugar or, you know, you know, a lot of people actually say stuff like their their underlying belief is I don't deserve to be a good person. I deserve to be healthy. You know, I don't deserve to recover from drug abuse or my favorite is substance use is not a problem for me. And, you know, like one tooth is

hanging on and and. You see it and you think and the ones that make me really sad and I know you didn't know this, but it's my brother died of accidental overdose. And it wasn't even, it was drug of choice. It was kind of an accident, but he was definitely on a bad pathway and just the right combination ended up very bad for him. But he, he got to a point where we everybody was convinced that he was doing better, right?

You get, you get these people that kind of will rally and then you really do believe they do it for a while, but then they sometimes slip back and then you don't catch it in that moment. And that's the dangerous time, right? That's that, that's the scary time because that's the time where accidents will happen because they jump back into whatever they were doing at that same level and then and then

that's just disaster. And because the root of the, the root of the addictive pattern of thinking hasn't been addressed, they've just been consciously willing it. And you, you would have heard me say all the time that all the time in those podcasts that you listen to that you cannot consciously overwrite. It's called the law of reversed effect, where you cannot consciously overwrite

subconscious information. You get a little distance down the road, but you will slide backwards, and that's what keeps people in an infinite loop of suffering, yeah. Yep. It's just, and there's a difference, sadly, I see a difference between. So we get some people sometimes between necessary things and addiction, right? Like we'll get like really old people that have every bone in their body broken and they're like, we're here to detox her off the two lortabs she takes a

day. And I'm like, that's weird. She's like, it's a legit thing. This lady seems fine. Like you can tell, you can tell, you know, but also, and I'm not saying like if you take medication that that's a bad thing, but you know when it's a bad thing. Like internally we all know what it is. Like you said, like sugar or whatever relationships for that matter, it doesn't matter what it is really. You've got to get to the point where you're OK with saying, you know what? Yeah, I'm not.

I'm not doing whatever that is, despite whatever happens. And that's scary. I think a lot of people are afraid for that, right? Like that whole not fitting in that whole, like whatever the case may be, you got to get to a point where you're really sick of it, basically. Yep, when you are absolutely tired of being a screw up. Yep. Yeah, and it's sad 'cause I see it over and over with the people I help. We call them frequent Flyers, right?

And, and we'll get them back and I'm like, see you next week, Joe or whatever. And, and it's not because you don't want them to do well, it's because you can see that there hasn't been the internal change. It's an internal thing. It's not really about the doctor or the medicine or, or anything. It's about the person. And when they've had enough, you can almost see it. You can almost see it in the person, right? Like it's.

A change. When your desire to change is greater than your desire to stay the same, you will act differently. You will move mountains. Yes, so much and it always surprises me because I am a person that has been around people my whole life, surrounded by addiction and I, I've always been the person that's like, well, what the Hell's wrong with you? Like before I did mental health because I, I, that would be terrible if I was doing that now, but I didn't understand

right 'cause I'm a lot like you. I could just put it down and I would be fine, You know, like it doesn't matter to me, whatever it is. But also, I think I've always had a lot of internal fortitude, I guess, to push through things like whatever that that is. And so for me, it was different than I would watch my brother and be like, what are you doing? Why are you doing this? What what? Just stop it, you know, And that doesn't help people, by the way.

I learned a lot differently now. But at the time you just don't get it. But it's so weird how the one person, they'll be like one or two people in a whole family that won't, won't have that. And and they don't get it. They're like clueless for a long time about how to help anybody and half the time we enable them. But you know, it's just, it's hard to understand like, why, why am I different? Why? Why didn't that happen on my end?

You know what I mean? Like, and I don't know what that answer is. I wish I could help more people that way. I don't know. Yeah. It's hard. It's hard to be those people too, you know, like I'm sure when people say, oh, how'd you quit smoking? And you say, I just stopped it. I just put it. I just put it, They don't want to hear that.

They want to hear. Yeah, well, for a lot of people, they're they're they're, they're still relying on self justifications to get them through there every day. So they don't want to hear that, you know, you can just make a choice. It's never that easy because everything in their subconscious is here towards telling them that it's not that easy. That's probably a good place to start looking if you want to really be honest about it.

Start looking there because like I said on a lot of shows that a belief is like a table with four legs and there's usually going to be at least four things that are propping up this one belief. He might get to the root of that belief and realize it's linked to another belief and you have to go look somewhere else too. Sometimes it can be very arduous. People just kind of want it to be once and done, you know, And that's, that's just not the way it works sometimes for a whole

year, you're working on stuff. Right. And they want the easy way out. And sometimes there's just no easy way out. And then they look at people like you or I that just don't care about that stuff. Like it doesn't matter to me if it, if I never had another drink again, I really don't care, you know what I mean? Or if I ever, whatever the case may be, I just would like be OK, whatever. But they don't want to hear

that. They don't want to hear what what we're talking about because for them, like I said, it would be like a 8 out of 10 people might have that problem and two don't. So it's really we're the minority and it's a scary situation because people die, you know, and, and then the demonic part and the generational part. But the thing about it is, is

you have to do the work. You have to, because my whole life changed when I stopped looking at things the way I used to, the way I was bred to, bred into. Yeah, basically. And a lot of people are like, yeah, that's never going to happen to me. But there I've had so many clients, so many clients that were like, I don't know if this is from me.

I don't think I can do this. Or maybe after two or three weeks, they start to chicken out or whatever, and they start dodging me. And then, you know, what happens to those people in a year's time? They're a completely different person. They went from rags to riches. And it's like some fairy tale. They've met the perfect person. Or, you know, they have their dream job or whatever the case is. And they're like, I, I can't believe you talked me into it,

but somehow it worked out. And I'm like, yeah, I told you. I told you. Like, it's not that hard. You just got to apply yourself. Well, and we got to stop filling ourself up with other people's bullshit. It, it's got to be about yourself, really. And I hate to be that frank with people that honestly, no one's your Prince Charming. It doesn't matter if Prince Charming is with you along the way. You still have to do this yourself. You, this has got to be about you.

You've got to start with yourself. And then once you do, you'll, you'll change everything. Like I went through my life after that whole thing happened with my daughter. And I even apologize to people that people were like, why would you? Why would you call your ex husband's ex-wife and talk to her about something that happened 25 years ago? And I'm like, because it was on my heart too.

Like when I was studying what I should do for myself, just about me to help me. That came up in my mind like this was not a good thing. You did, you know, and it's so insignificant. It wasn't like I did something super bad. It was stupid. And she even said to me when I wrote her on Facebook, I found her on Facebook and wrote her this message and she said, I honestly can't believe you even sent this.

But I mean, thanks, like, I mean, I I wasn't worried about it. You know, she was like, I'm sorry this worried you. And I'm like, but that's the point, right? It wasn't about her. Yeah, exactly. They have to be willing to do this stuff. You have to do it for yourself. Because I tell you what, everybody, even if they love you, everybody's still only checking for themselves.

It's hard for a lot of people to hear like, 'cause they, we want to live in this weird fairy tale where we're in love with the perfect person. We're always on their mind and they care only about us. But a lot of people are just strictly about #1. Yeah, human, human behavior. And like you, you know, I think it's sad. I think that's sad in a way, but I think that's real. And I think the people that can tell, I think people know.

Just like I told you about the guy that hated me instantaneously, People know when you've done the work. And the two people that know the most, and this is truth, people, dogs and babies. Dogs and babies feel energy like nobody I can ever see. Like they're not fooled by anything. They're really not. Or animals. I guess it doesn't. Happen. Yeah. Animals know. Animals know. Well, you met birdies, so you know, animals know.

Yes, and and they know it's like, you know, when they start coming up to you in the middle of a, you know, store and they're the seeing eye dog and you, they're not supposed to do that. And you're like, go, go, you're getting me in trouble, like, you know, and or some of these kids trying to come to you or whatever. But like it's just about the light within.

And I really think that's that's the whole point of why I do this, because I want to share that so that other people can have that too, because you can do it too. I'm not like somebody special. He's not somebody that we can all do it. We can all do this. It's, it's weird. All of us have that we do. And yeah, like you're very candid about what you went

through. Like, yeah, I used to do this and this, like most people would never say that or most people would never say like me about the mom thing because, right, the first thing that people think when I tell that is oops, she's a bad mom. She's the problem. She's the mom. She's you know, and and it's hard to bury your soul like that. But if it helps one person then. Yeah, people don't understand that there's no limits on what's possible for them unless you

self disclose, right? And that's why it's always good, right? The shame's gone. Yeah, it's all, it's always good to say what you've been through and and get very comfortable being like, OK, so I've been saying this a lot. I'm not really into the spiritual being having a human existence rhetoric. To me, we're just here to be humans and we're here to learn and be messy. While we're learning. We're not supposed to be identifying with anything other

than who we are at the core. Yes, spirituality plays a huge role in it, but your individual connection to God is what matters the most. Nobody can come and hand you spirituality and tell you how to be. You figure that out by being human, right? And unfortunately, being human is hard. It's not it's, you know, a lot of people, like I said, said at the beginning of this podcast is like we've all become infantilized and we're waiting on the, the savior.

There's some savior complex where somebody's going to come along and tell me exactly what to do. They're going to give me the blueprint or the five steps or whatever. And that's just not it. Everybody is as unique as their own thumbprint and everybody's path and and set of actions is unique to them.

And whenever I get a new client, first two or three sessions is just strictly about getting to know that person, getting to know that person's heart and figure out where they've been, what they've been through, what they haven't processed. Because a lot of the time it's like a Jenga. You pull out just the right thing and the whole thing topples. And maybe they don't even need to come to me for 6 to 12 weeks. Maybe they just needed like two

or three. Maybe somebody just needed somebody to talk to. I've seen that so many times. Maybe somebody just needed someone to actually listen and that made the biggest difference in the whole world and they had one cell or two self realizations and they were like, you know what? I've been screwing myself over for a long time. I'm tired of this. Don't settle. Yup, don't. Don't settle and you know, I think I think it's so important that those of us that have and I think everybody has.

I just think some people lie about it. The struggle, right? Like the The thing is, I always look at the parable about the gold coins that Jesus gave to everybody and the one guy, he, he hid his and he didn't do anything with it. And what did Jesus say? Get away from me. I never knew you right? But that's our our life experiences. I feel in my mind is we've all been through some shit. Like, let's get real. Like nobody makes it out of this earth unscaped and none of us make it out alive.

I have news for everybody. And so we have to think about what you can do with what you have gone through and help somebody else. Maybe you're going to help them not have 10 more horrible experiences. Maybe it won't work. Who cares? That's their choice. Like you can only do what you can do, you know, and you, you put it out there to help the person and if it, and if they don't want help, you can't be

bitter about it either. You just have to go, OK, you know, I mean, what do you do, you know, but people expect things in return. That's not why you do it. That's this is not the point. Yeah. And so I feel like if we all just did that more and helped each other more, it would be a really beautiful world. And I think that's probably why you do this. That's the feeling I get. That's definitely why I do this.

And I just want to help people not be in a dark place that I've come out of before, you know, I. That's just. Not, not a healthy place for anybody, right? None of. Us. Yeah, it really is. Because when I was really in the thick of things, I looked around and nobody wanted to hear my problems and nobody wanted to help me. And not even beyond that. Like, when I say it like that, it sounds like maybe I was surrounded by all nasty people, but they weren't. They just weren't there

themselves either. So they couldn't help me do anything, you know? Yeah, they were maybe messed up too. Like, I mean, you know, we're all the blind leading the blind. And same thing with parenting. Kids always say, well, my parents let me down. I have news for you. Your parents are, you know, like, and they'll say we didn't ask to be born. And I'm like, guess what? Neither did I, so that's all irrelevant baloney. And we're in the reality of we

don't throw people away, right? We we have to get to the root of the problem. Like if you are mad at someone and you just say you're a bad person, go away. What did you fix? Nothing you. Fixed nothing. You fixed 0 things and you didn't even allow the person to give their side or anything like you just they're garbage to you. That's that's terrible. God doesn't do that. He doesn't make human garbage. I'm sorry, that's not true. And even. The less of them, what does God say?

Even the least of them, they're his. So I'm like, no, no, that's not how it's supposed to be, right? Like, even if somebody was messed up and they listened you, I'm in that time frame, I'm sure you would have been so grateful even if they couldn't give you advice because they were messed up too, right? Like if they just listened and we're like, man, I know I'm screwed up too. Like, yeah, you know, that's something, right? That's better than nothing. Yeah.

Because none of us are there. I mean, I'm not a therapist. You do things like this, but I'm not a therapist. Talk to him. Some of the most messed up people I've ever met are licensed therapists. They they've done 0 work. Yeah, probably holding. All that. Too, They're all strictly academic and they have no clue how to apply any of the stuff that they were taught. But you know, then again, we're right back at where we started, the mind control of the academic system. Exactly.

And you might have more to offer than you really think you do. Like like I mean, when you got into this, I'm sure this wasn't probably the path you thought you would take, especially where you know the academic Rd. Wasn't the way, so you know you led to something. You know you should. Probably explore it right? Yeah, no, definitely not. I mean I'm a beautiful long haired caramel colored man. Just I was a rock and roller. My my shirt says it. Oh, live the dream rock'n'roll. Yeah.

And there you go. My biggest problem is that I was succeeding at music and I met some of the nastiest people that you've ever you'll ever come across and, you know, some of the most sadistic, demonic people out there. And it just really turned my stomach against going any further. And I had a lot of help from people who were like, you know, lawyers and, and people in entertainment and stuff. And they're like, yeah, you

don't want no part of this, man. Like, you're doing well and you have the potential to get really big, but not without losing yourself. And I just kind of have to figure out what losing yourself meant little by little. And it took me a long time to accept that even though I'm really gifted at music, the industry is not a place that I belong in. And I started out doing it because of the joy that it brought me and because of the joy that I saw that it brought other people.

And then I kind of realized that that was fake joy, too. Like those people ain't happy, you know, so. Even if you bring them joy, like you said, it's the. When they go home, they're not happy no more, you know? So yeah, I essentially achieved nothing, yeah. And the people you still did, I mean, I think it's still good, but I think it's, I think you're right. I think the industry is a psyop. You know, it's not real. I mean, 'cause you can see people that have real raw talent

good. Like why is this guy over here with this good talent not as good as this person? Maybe because his dad, like the doors, was an Admiral that helped start a war. Oh, OK, that's cool. You know, I mean like it's all fake. It's all it's all ACIA psyop like the Grateful Dead or it's demonic or whatever, you know these things. And people don't believe it. They don't want to believe it.

And I'm. Like they would have to give up their favorite tool for evasion of self, which is listening to music. You when you create music, you have to look at yourself. But when you listen to it, when you consume it, you get to avoid yourself all day long, right? And I tell people, well, they're like, well, what's the solution? If I can't listen to music, what I do, then go buy a guitar. You know, guitar centers everywhere. Well, it used to be, I've heard they're shutting down now.

But you know, you can go on Amazon and get something really cheap and learn how to play and you'll learn a lot about yourself in the process. Because as you pick up that instrument, your, all your emotions and your suppressed subconscious thinking comes to the surface. And you have to look at that, you know, and you have to be courageous enough to kind of figure out what's in there and transmute that, turn that into something else.

And even if you want to listen to music, it can't be your God. We're back to don't. It doesn't matter what it is. It could even be podcast, it could even be whatever it is, it cannot consume you or make you non productive. That's the problem. It once you've given over your because we all have talents, we're all made for something.

We're all supposed to do something and whatever that something is, you're supposed to like nurture that and do things with it, like go do that, you know, But I think you're right. I think some people have to take a break from it all together just to get out of that cycle of doing that same thing every single day. You know, it's programming. We're right back to programming. So I don't know. It. It's you know, silence is good too. Or change things, learn things,

keep your mind active. You know, repetitive, repetitive things are not ever really great either. No, yeah. And everybody gets their favorite playlist and then they play, oh, I'm just as guilty, like those songs over. And, you know, and I just have withdrawn from even that. My husband laughs at me now. He's like, what do you do when you work out? I'm like, I learned things on podcasts or I read. And he's like, wow, that's weird.

I'm like. Yeah, people tell me I'm weird because I just, I just work out to silence. And it's like what, you know, like I see all these people on the beach. I go running on the evenings and stuff sometimes and they've just, they're trying to block out nature. And it's like, why are you wearing a pair of headphones and running on the beach? You should be listening to the waves. But they don't want to, They don't want to be with

themselves. I have so many self realizations when I'm just out there by myself, you know, and just running and people are operating. That or in the mountains, you know, or wherever. Like I'd love to listen to things like that. And that's usually my happy place to go is because we don't have a beach, we have mountains. So we go to the mounts, yeah, and get away from everything. But it's just a blessing. And we have these things all over.

Wherever, whatever you're close to, then, you know, look at that or go travel if you can, or go see things or do things. But what home to work, work to home is not. That's not a life. Sometimes we have. That, but you should have balance. Yeah, I talk a lot about guarding consciousness, especially where the the TV is concerned. But the music, you, you, pretty much anything you have on a playlist is there because you subconsciously agree with the

emotional content. Now, do you really want to continue to reinstall the same old stuff and have the same experiences, or do you want to have something new? So when you take away all these vices from your life, you're left with the bare bones and you're left with the stuff that is going to lead you down the path of discovery all the time. So you're not really going to get self improvement without yourself, which is crazy. Everybody seems to think that.

Yeah, everybody seems to think those 4 letters are invisible, you know, and they think it's going to be inside the next Tony Robbins book or the next webinar or whatever, you know, the next spiritual retreat and, or even in the same the pages of the Bible. They think reading the same scripture is going to change their life is no, you have to do something with that bozo, like go live your life. Yeah. Use that.

Use that or or. I never read it anymore in order because I don't want to remember that way, right? Like I want a new thing, like you said, like a new discovery for my life, because I always read it as the living word. So if it's the living word and that's how God really has it for us, then I should be able to just flip it open and and see a message for myself in there as well. And I and people might not like that, but that's what I do.

And I mean, it's not heretical. I don't think it's still, you know, it, it doesn't have to be an all day project either. And that's where people don't even want to start anymore because they're they're like, oh gosh, that's terrible, you know, but it really doesn't have to be you don't have to sit there for hours either. I don't think that's what we're supposed to do. It's it's supposed to be enjoyable if you're doing it too. So yeah, I think we have to look within.

I think that's the perfect thing that you said there. We got to get to those bare bones. So, and if you can't get to the bare bones and you do need help, then there's people just like Johan that can help you. Right. I was going to say to you, there's a really great book that I read recently that was kind of like the same thing you were talking about.

Like, you just open it to whatever page and whatever you stumble upon, like that's what you're supposed to read is the Manual for Spiritual Warfare by Paul Thigpen. There you go. Yeah. Yeah. You would like it. I think I would. Who? I'm going to write that down. Manual for Spiritual Warfare by Paul Thigpen. Yes, I will look for that. I like those kind of books. I, I love what's his name?

Also, why can't I remember right now, But he has a lot of spiritual warfare books and I just love them. He's a Latin guy. He's a preacher, but I'll think of it in a minute. But all of his books are like that. They're all about spiritual warfare. And I love them because I'm like, this is we have to guard ourselves. There's stuff out there that people don't understand and we definitely can't wrap it all up with a bow because it's a whole, it's a whole nother realm of situation.

But you definitely don't want to open yourself up for anything like that. Like you have to guard yourself. Because they're looking. For a place to rest. And that is just real. And it's relentless. So you got to, you got to have these things around you to kind of remind you which direction you're going. Yep, it's so hard. And I think John Ramirez is who I was thinking of, by the way. OK, I don't think I've read anything by him. He does some really good prayers

for like spiritual warfare. He has full books on just prayers for spiritual warfare, which I love and he has more than one. It's not like the same thing over and over, which I like as well, because things change and situations change and Derek Prince is another one I always go. Derek Prince is is a a good one too. He's the OG, yeah, he's legalistic, but I love him still. It doesn't matter. You minus the religion now. You're fine, you know. Yeah. But he was great. I mean, he knew.

He knew some things. He he knows he's not here anymore. But he. Yeah, and so with that people, you got to arm yourself, watch yourself, bite your demons. Everybody has them. Don't be ashamed. Shame is the first step towards failure, really. And we can't be doing that because we are. We are more than that. You're worth more than that. You're there's a reason why you're here. So we all got to find that.

We all got to do that. We all got to just pull up by the bootstraps and and work through it. You can't jump over it. You can't go around it. You got to go through it even though it sucks. And if you need help, there are people. That are self sabotage coaches and tell them where they can find you one more time. Well, you can find me on Instagram at Jahan Sator. That's JEHANSATTAUR. You can also visit my website which doesn't have much of anything on it. It's self sabotage.

What is what I say it was self sabotage dot XYZ. Yes, I think that's. Right, yeah, I don't even go on AC so I don't know, but you can e-mail me directly at self sabotage info at proton dot me and you can always search for the boundless authenticity podcast anywhere that you have your favorite podcast thingy, Spotify, Apple, whatever. I prefer that you listen on Spreaker because it gives you the updates whenever there's a new episode. Like it'll just download it. Oh, that's good.

Yeah. All right. Well. Thank you so much for coming on and I think this has been really nice and in general informative, but also I've liked talking to you so I. Appreciate that you're my new buddy. Thanks for hanging with me. We're your friends now. Thank you so much. Bye, guys.