Good morning and welcome to the UK column viewers and listeners. I have a special interview today with a lady called Vicky Ash. And Vicky, I've known for a lot of years, so many that I'm going to have to ask her in just a few moments how long it is. But an important thing I need to say straight off is that we're going to be talking about some pretty tough subjects. This is about Vicky's life in an an abusive family and how she's moved through that very dark period to something really very
special. But we do understand that if people are watching this type of interview and they've experienced problems themselves, this can cause difficulty. So we have to say upfront that we are going to be talking about some very different difficult issues, but the most important thing is that this is a story of how Vicky has got through some very, very dark, troubled times and has found the light. And on that note, Vicky, can I welcome you to UK column?
Good morning, Brian. Thank you for having me. Absolute pleasure. Now come on, let's see if we can pin down for the audience how long ago it was that we did that original interview. There was 1000. And 15. 2015 So there we are 10 years ago and the important thing is that we did the interview. We're still in contact. Probably we should have been able to have a bit more contact over the years, but the key bit is that you're with us today. So thank you very much for that.
It's great. You've recently produced a book, it's called Fruit Cake or Bearing Fruit, which people might think that's a very strange title, but I know there's a very good explanation for that. And you were kind enough to give me a copy to read, because it's a read. It's it's a book, a novel about your life and what you've been through.
It's a very intimate book. I think you've written it in a very, very clever way because you've had to juggle some, some very difficult situations with family and also some legal aspects. I read your book. I think it is extremely good and it it made a big impact on me. And I'm sure as we discuss it, it's going to make a big impact on the public. Why don't we start at the in whichever direction you want to go to to answer this? But you've written a book about your life.
What prompted you to do that? I think it's healing, obviously, to face the truth in your own life, but also I have a duty of care to children. And the more that I've gone on my journey of faith, I don't believe God just rescued you to have a good life. I think He rescued you to rescue
others. So my heart has always and and will always be to help those other survivors perhaps haven't been as fortunate as me, but also to protect children and to save children because satanic ritual abuse still goes on today. Vicky, thank you very much. But that's a very clear and a very concise explanation. And I'd like to just say, say to you that over recent months, I've been doing quite a few interviews with mothers who've been through some pretty disturbing situations.
So this is this is about their personal life. Some of them have been through care. The the main thread through all of them has been that these are women that have had their children taken away from them. And this is something that I've come to learn in the discussions with those women that initially they were trapped in a world of almost. Well, many of them did feel guilty that they'd been in a situation where the state had
taken their children. And when they got through that darkest period, they started to reflect on how they were going to deal with their situation and how they were going to try and fight back against the system that had taken their their children. Invariably they want to speak out to get the truth out about their own story, but they're also adamant that what they've experienced, they don't want
that to happen to other people. So what you've just said to me absolutely makes an impact on me. Even more so because a few days ago I was lucky enough to be invited to meet up with a group of mothers who've all had children taken away. And this is the first time I've been with a reasonable size group. There was a, there was about 25 mums in the room and a lot of emotion. But this is one of the key things. They wanted to get the truth out
about what had happened to them. And Vicky, I know this takes a lot of courage. So I'm going to thank you again because it's not easy to discuss these things. I don't know how you'd like to respond just to that. Well, I think we're seeing even in today's times that there's more protection for the perpetrator and the victims are being silenced. And that's very concerning.
We're seeing that all over that. You know, I mentioned in my book that sadly, I'm, I've not been able to write it as I would because many whistleblowers are silenced and serving prison sentences. So we're seeing that and, and my book goes through my journey of going to the police for help. As I mentioned in 2015, I I went to the police because I had a duty of care to children. And it shows the whole systemic abuse set up that perpetrators are protected and we can't deny
that because they are. I I totally agree with that, and there are many other people who would agree with it. But perhaps for the the audience, I could reinforce what Vicky's just said by saying that at the little event I've just mentioned in the short talk that I gave to those ladies, I showed a clip of the former Tory whip Tim Fortescue in 1995, I think it was. He was speaking to the BBC.
So there's there's a little clip that people can find on YouTube where this Tory whip, Tim Fortescue is talking to ABBC reporter and he's describing the whip's job and he looks at the camera and says, well, MPs could come to us, sorry. MPs would come to us with problems. It could be anything. It might be money, it might be little boys and we would fix it for them. And then there's a pause and he looks at the camera and says, if you think that that's a little bit, well, that's a little bit
strange. We, we fixed it for them because, well, then they would do as we asked. Anyone with any sense who was in trouble would come to the wits and and tell them the truth and say, no, this, I'm in a jam. Can you help? It might be debt. It might be scandal involving small boys or any kind of scandal which a member seemed likely to be mixed up in. They'd come and ask if we could help, and if we could, we did. And we would do everything we can because we would store up
brownie points. If, I mean that sounds a pretty, pretty nasty reason, but it's one of the reasons is if we can get a chap out of trouble then you'll he'll do as we ask forever more. So to ABBC Camera, we have an MP in a very powerful position as a whip in the Tory party saying that when MPs came to them having got into trouble because they were abusing children, the whips covered it up so effectively they could blackmail those MPs into following the
political policy. And I showed the clip to the audience of mothers because I couldn't think of anything more blatant to prove to them that the system they were up against was ultimately a system that protected people who were abusing children. Definitely. And even going back to why my book's called fruitcake sarcastically. I've written this sarcastically. Being a fruitcake in the world's eyes often implies someone is
mentally ill. And that's the tack that they use all the time to silence people coming forward is that you are mentally ill. You've got false memory syndrome. Therapists have planted those memories. We've recently had a lady called Lisa Meister on Only God Rescued Me. She's spoken out on a Christian, a Christian organization, saying that Satanic ritual abuse doesn't exist and that false
memory syndrome's real. And I'm glad to say that we have speakers that have now come out, have written a book. Doctor Jim Friesen has written a book. He's a pioneer in the treatment of dissociative identity disorder, an experienced and compassionate psychologist, and he's written a book called The Truth about False Memory Syndrome, and we're seeing that even on Netflix programmes that are coming out. This is a strategy to silence people that are telling the truth.
Yes. And ultimately it makes sense because of course abusers and people who are involved in the abuse rings and are indeed running the abuse rings will do anything and everything in order to hide what they're actually doing. And so nobody in this country in my, my mind should be surprised with the idea that that the cover up is very big and it goes through all layers of society.
So in various cases over the years, it's clear that there was a cover up by social services, by the police, even through the courts and certainly through the political system. Where of course, we've seen even cases in the past involving the Tory party where it's become clear that even MI 5 was in the wings knowing what, what, what was actually taking place. MPs abusing children, but absolutely no action was taken against them. So this cover up is real.
And and if the victim, the person who suffered the abuse, can be branded as mentally ill or suffering from some psychological diagnosis, psychiatric diagnosis, this is used to undermine their testimony and their status as a credible witness. This is also part of mind control. Children that are so horrifically abused are often hypnosis is used and mind control so that they never ever tell. And it's it's sort of implanted that if they ever tell they will
be punished. If they ever tell, they will go to prison themselves if they ever speak out. So it's like an inbuilt trigger to silence you. And we know as a Christian that that can be a demonic stronghold. But once the truth comes, once you know that God will defend you when you speak out. And you know, obviously I believe that that's the Christian route of speaking out. I've found that God has protected me over these 36 years and he's given me more of a
voice than ever. And I just wanted to go back to the issue of ridiculing those who speak out. We find that trolls hide behind fake names. They don't name who they are. Whereas I don't need to hide my face. I don't need to. I'm not ashamed. There's no guilt or condemnation. Now that I'm a Christian and I I truly believe that God is the truth and he defends the truth and he is a God of justice. Very, very important, Vicky. And we'll certainly delve into that a little little bit more.
Just bringing you back to 2015 to is setting the scene a little bit for the audience, isn't it? Back in 2015, you'd got to the stage where you wanted to speak out about what happened. What was it back then that had moved you to the point you thought, right, I actually want to be speaking out rather than just trying to fight the battle myself by going to say I know that you went to the police, you went to politicians, you you would you were fighting that battle yourself.
What got you to the point where you thought you were prepared to actually stand up in front, in front of the wider public and speak about what had happened to you? I do believe that it's like a jigsaw. It's come to me. So back in those days, it was my, it was AI mention all this in my book, the head of Child Watch, the founder of Child Watch. Obviously I went to her for healing, you know, for help in overcoming the abuse in my own life.
But then that led me to contacting my MP and it's been a journey since then. But the more that it's been has been exposed and you know, I've jotted a few things down because two, since our interview in 2015, for those who want to go back and look at it, so much has been exposed that's mentioned in that interview. And so it's in a case of doors opening for me. I've always said to the Lord, you know, if you want me to speak, I will because that's my
duty of care. But I haven't pushed myself forward. People have contacted me to speak because they can see that they can see what's happening. Survivors. I didn't know an SRA survivor when I grew up and remembered cloaks and going out in the night. I didn't know what that was as a child and black cloaks, I didn't know what the word was for it, but since and I didn't know any other survivor. But now we have worldwide survivors coming forward.
Maggie Oliver, who has been exposing the grooming gangs, who talks about the corruption in the police force. She has been on platforms with other SRA survivors. So satanic ritual abuse is already here. They can't cover it up anymore. It's already here. This, this is absolutely true, absolutely true. Vicky, you've been through a lot and the whole purpose of your book was to be be giving the reader and the wider audience that comes comes out of having written a book and understanding
of what's happened to you. Now you you've touched there on memories of being surrounded by people in black cloaks. At the time we spoke in 2015, you were talking about some of the things that had happened to you, memories that were coming to the surface. But at that stage, even in the interview with me, you were not revealing things in the detail
that you have in your book. And so we we can clearly see that over 10 years, you've grown much stronger in the way that you're approaching this subject and with the truth sets you free. Pardon. The truth sets you free. The truth sets you free. What can I say to that? Well, it's absolutely true that that that is correct. The point I'm getting to is that in in your book, you give a very clever story of your life and how how things came to the surface.
You talk about memories, you talk about strange things that were happening to you. You talk about abuse in its rawest form. And then you take us through the journey of how you started to put pieces together.
You challenged some of the family members who'd carried out that abuse on you, and ultimately you got to a point where by embracing spirituality, in particular Christianity, that gave you the strength to actually renew yourself and to heal from a lot of the things that you've been through.
There are still many people who do not understand what abuse really is. And this is such a difficult thing to to to deal with because if we are to tell the truth about what's going on with children, we have to talk about what it is that's going on. We can't deal with such a critical system and pussyfoot around how things are described. And yet I know that there are many really excellent people out
there worldwide. I'm not just talking talking about the wonderful people we've got supporting the UK column and being our viewers, but they find it so hard to even listen when people are starting to describe what goes on.
But as an adult, if we are to get to grips with this subject, we have to understand what it's really about and, and how these crimes are perpetrated because if we don't understand how this works, we can't deal with it. Where I am getting to Vicky, is that in the early stage of your book, you talk about some of the things that happened to you as a child. And will you tell us like I can give you some prompts, but well,
let let me do this. I, I know that fairly soon in the book that you are talking about things you experienced as a child, which are everything from being taken out of your own bed and carried into your father's bed where you were abused, to really quite sadistic incidents where you were hurt with a poker at the fireside and there are other events. Are you able to talk the audience into this, into this very difficult area when we're not going to?
We're not going to flaw people, but I think it is appropriate that you actually give some detail to what child abuse is actually about. Before I I again, please don't think that you're upsetting me by talking about it, because I am. I am healed. It's rather like looking at a physical scar on perhaps your arm. I've got an A scar on my arm where I fell asleep in front of the fire and I and I was burnt. And I look at that scar and it's healed.
I can remember what happened, but when I touch it, the body has healed. And the same has been for me. We're talking about spiritual healing. For me, that's Christianity because in in the word of God, it says Jesus came to destroy the works of the devil. And my belief is that God is good and the devil's bad and people who do evil are being controlled by by evil forces. But going back to so asking me questions, I'm I'm healed now so I can talk about the abuse without any pain.
I have the memories of what happened, but it doesn't trigger me. There's no pain because the Holy Spirit has done that healing work in my life, which I'm so grateful for. But going back to the memories, yes, it's called grooming. If you are being looked after by an adult and you do what they ask you to do, you are innocent. You have no control. Therefore, the things that happened to me, I, I, I did under that influence.
And yes, there was sodomy, which is buggery, you know, that is the back end where you are abused. Therefore, I mention all this in my book. But I don't like to glorify evil. I don't like to focus and give the devil any more power than he's already got. I like to look at the solution and the way out. But yes I was sodomized and I suffered Constipation right through my childhood because of
that. And also oral sex where he would put his penis in my mouth and that is common in I I hate to say the word normal child sexual abuse CSA because there's nothing normal about abuse at all. Abuse is evil on any level, but these are the things that go on. We we've had so many cases coming forward of abuse. We've had Harvey Weinstein, we've had the Epstein case, we've had all Jimmy Savile. We are in those days. We've had the Balenciaga scandal.
What else that we've had? We just, we see it every day. We're being anaesthetized to evil. Even when you listen to the news now where, where there's been a murder or a rape and then they move on quickly to the weather and you think for good, can I just take a breath? Somebody has just been raped. A 12 year old has been raped. And we're talking now in mainstream media as if this is
like going shopping. We are being anaesthetized to evil and we have to you know, the Bible says that when the enemy comes in like a flood, God raises the standard. And the point of these interviews, the point of speaking out, is that we have to stop evil. We are called to destroy the works of the devil. We are called to expose the evil deeds of darkness, and that's what I know I'm called to do as a Christian.
That is my moral duty as a Christian is to expose the evil deeds of darkness, not to shame people, but to lead people into truth. Even perpetrators are deceived. They're under, they're under that sort of mind control that's perhaps happened to them as a child, often within satanic ritual abuse. It's generational, so you know, but you have to break the cycle. It has to stop somewhere, and it stopped for me when I became Christian.
Just what just one wonderful Vicky and I totally agree with you. We are at the point where I think there are very powerful forces that want to normalise this sort of behaviour as if it's totally acceptable. And, and this is one of the key reasons I think why we are seeing some truly appalling grooming of very young children happening through the school system, the education system itself, where children are being exposed to ever more explicit
sexual material. And I think it's appropriate just to give a mention to the wonderful ladies in South Wales, Public Child Protection Wales, Kim Isherwood and her team who've been doing such a great job warning parents what what is being done to the children in this grooming that's going on in schools, in primary schools, under the under so-called religious and sex education. It's it's quite, it's outrageous and it needs to be stopped. Yeah, I totally agree with that.
It is legalizing satanic practices. We've seen even during the lockdown and and during COVID where full term abortion was, was trying to be legalized. We're seeing the perversion of children. We now know it's a huge industry of child sex trafficking that's that's out in the open now. We've seen adults in the care system speaking out. ICSA, which is the independence
inquiry into child sexual abuse. You've had so many survivors come forward to that platform, but then when you look at that platform, the leaders were removed. Whenever we hear of breakthrough in any area, it's stopped higher up. Absolutely correct.
I've been highly critical of the, it's the so-called independent child abuse inquiry because we know for a fact that key witnesses, including witnesses, that witnesses whose original testimony helped create the child abuse inquiry in the 1st place, their, their personal testimony was so powerful, the police were engaged. In fact, some people did go to, to prison. But strangely, the, the ICSAR inquiry then failed to call those, those people as, as
witnesses at the inquiry. And then the next thing is we say what has actually changed as a result of the inquiry? There's lots of good words, thousands of words get written. But when we say, OK, what's actually been done on the streets in order to stop this? The answer, the answer's nothing and I'll, I'll just add to that before it come back to you is that is, is that I was also sent a document last week.
It was printed in November 2024 by Truth Commission, which is a group of very good people at the Westminster End and, and through some of the universities who've been collecting statistics on the damage done to families and children via the the child protection system, social services system. Incredible data and and some really powerful statements from parents saying how they've been belittled, abused, let down, a complete lack of independence OR proper justice.
Very, very hard hitting. But Even so, that report simply not covered in mainstream media with with the with the vehemence that it it deserves. So I'll just add that to the mix as well. And and people are afraid. People are afraid to corroborate and come forward, but that's what's needed. It's fear that silence is us. I didn't just write the book fruitcake or bearing fruit. I wrote a book called Persistent poems.
I've actually got it here. And I, I wrote this at the beginning of that's also in Amazon and Kindle. And that was to awaken a deceived generation where we're actually even within that I used to wake up in the night with, with different poems and words of all the child trafficking that's going on. But we, we are seeing that police evidence is lost. Cases are shut down because fear is the weapon they used to silence.
But you see, when you walk in faith, you can't walk in as a Christian. You don't walk in faith and fear at the same time. Fear, I believe is from the enemy. Faith is from God.
But you know, with faith, I believe that just just as we've seen in in the Epstein trials and Harvey Weinstein, as people come forward together, those that have perhaps taken their cases to the police with evidence like I did, I had evidence to go to the police, Then there must be those cases that can still come forward and join together and say something must be done because there isn't a law in our in the UK against
satanic ritual abuse. Well on on On the contrary, Vicky in the 50s, I can't remember the exact date, but it was the 1950s, they they actually were repealing laws about practicing of witchcraft. Yes, that's where it all
started. Yeah. So we we can see a trail through society that that shows that some really strange, we could say strange things have gone on, but where you would have thought practices that were clearly damaging to individuals where previously there was some attempt to control them, from that time onwards we've seen the opposite it. We've seen a loosening up of everything in society, which is making ever more deviant practices ever more acceptable, and that's got to be a
deliberate policy. Yes. And we're, we're seeing that this is a spiritual battle. We're seeing that every religion has a voice, but the Christian voice and, and, and, and the moral decline of the UK, you know, morals and, and different cultures within religions. We're, we're seeing that. So we know it's a spiritual battle and we sadly, we can't fight that spiritual battle. Just on a human level. We can't, we need God.
We need, we need our nation to come back to God and he will do it. He is exposing us. He's lifting the veil of deception as we speak. It's it's happening everywhere. And he won't be mocked. He won't be mocked. There is, there is clearly something very special that's happening at the moment. A lot of people are waking up because they, they are sensing that something's wrong. They certainly sense a sort of oppressive feel around them and they are, they are looking,
they're looking for answers. And I, I have found that over the last 10 years there's, there's been a huge change in what you can talk about. So now there's very little problem in talking to people from a spiritual angle. They listen, they ask very good questions, they're very open to the idea that there's more to it than men and politics. And I, I've found this, this absolutely fascinating.
If I go back 20 years, when I first started speaking out on a number of issues, if I did a public talk and a venue, people might come forward to the stage at the end of the talk. And then they quietly say, do you think there's more to it? And I, I would always prompt them by pretending not to understand what they were talking about and saying, well, what do you mean by that? And they say, well, do you, do you think it's spiritual? And then I, I would always say,
yes, it's absolutely spiritual. But now we're seeing more and more people in searching for answers are a lot more receptive to the idea that this is what's really happening. Yes. And this generation, no, they're more awake than than my generation and older than myself because they see it through Hollywood. They see it through the Illuminati. We've had P Diddy that's been arrested. It's everywhere. And you know, the church must rise up because Jesus is the answer.
You know, everywhere I seem to go that God seems to have a theme that hope has a name and his name is Jesus. And that's the the issue now. We, we're already seeing spirituality through the music industry. And I was trying to speak that out years ago. We've had Robbie Williams speak out. It's we've, we've had, you know, so many celebrities talking about the dark, dark witchcraft, black magic that's happening in the elites. You know, the elites are running
the show. And that's where we have to push back the darkness. And going back to officers that were in my case, they've told me since that they have training that, that, that they didn't know what I was talking about them. But now they do. So when people say that it doesn't exist and yet officers, officers have told me that they've had training about ritual abuse, They might not call it satanic, but you've also had the Glasgow satanic ring exposed.
It's it this has been in main on mainstream media as well. The Glasgow Satanic ring, the word satanic, it's evil and we have to name it for what it is. We can't keep being ostriches. We can't keep brushing things under the carpet because evil only prospers when good men do nothing. And as, as I say as a Christian, the devil only prospers when God's men do nothing. Yes, Vicky, can I encourage you just to take us through a little bit more of the book.
Thank you very much for being so frank about basics of some of the things that have happened to you because that puts a foundation we can now move on. But there's another aspect which I think you should be able to comment on and that's the business about how how children are controlled in inside a family situation in order to keep them silent and can keep them compliant. A lot of people can't understand how this sort of stuff takes place. Are you able to to just comment just a little bit?
It doesn't. It doesn't need to be too much too heavy, but on the sorts of things that you were told in order to allay fears or concerns you had or to keep you, keep you quiet. My belief of why people don't speak out is that you love your family there. There is still a bond that you love your family and it costs to tell the truth. So everything's fear based. Everything is that something will happen to you if you tell somehow you were complicit as a child, that's being abused as
well. Your body responds to that abuse, and that's quite a sensitive subject to speak about that I do, I do speak about in the book, but your body responds, you have sensations in certain areas of abuse. Therefore you think that you're somehow to blame. And the groomer, the abuser will always put the blame on you. And that keeps you locked in because you're going to be in trouble, right? Why would you? You've nowhere to go if you're being abused within your home,
where are you to go if you tell? And it's, it's not only your own protection. For me as I became an adult, it was the it's just such a terrible subject that it affects everybody around you. It's affected my husband, it affects my own children. To think of what their mum went through, it affects the love that you have for extended family. How what's it going to cost them, their reputations, their jobs.
And I've had other people within my family contact me since that wanted to come forward at the time but had too much shame. They said they felt ashamed. Now that's a terrible thing because the shame is not on the person that's being abused. I was a child and that's why I can hold my head up and say I was a child. There's a very big difference. I have no control over what happened to me and and that's
why paedophilia is so evil. When we hear about the grooming gangs, it is so evil applying with drugs, using drugs to, to anaesthetize you and to detention, tempting, you know, when you see the grooming gangs tempting youngsters with, with items and then luring them in. But there's an agenda behind it and, and that's all part of the grooming. People need to to understand that. And grooming spiritually is a form of mind control. We only need to see what happened through COVID.
If you put enough fear on the television about COVID, you won't be going anywhere. You know, there was the power to lock the whole world down because of fear. But I like to look at fear as false evidence appearing real. I believe that we have faith over fear and, and, and that's, and that's why I speak out. I believe that true freedom is found in not living under fear anymore.
Vicky brilliant. We that takes us to a nice point because really, if my memory is correct in your book, once you've been able to challenge some of your own family members in respect to the abuse you've suffered and also in respect why some didn't speak up, you were you were on a journey to understand what had happened to you.
You went through some quite troubled times, but then you started to be looking for the way out and one of the first places that you got involved with was the church. But I think you said that your initial experience inside the church was that it was a very cold and hard and you were trying to connect with God, but that didn't go as well as as you'd hoped. You also got in touch.
With well actually you, you worked alongside a group which said they were a Christian group and you did a little bit of therapy with them. You correct, do correct me if I've got this, got this wrong. You did some therapy and in that therapy, some of these memories came to the surface, but you quickly realised that the group that had set out or said they were there to help you weren't, how do we describe this?
They, they weren't genuine Christians and their, their spiritual path wasn't in the right direction. So just take us through that little bit of how did you go looking or find that you were looking to the church in order to help climb out of this very deep dark hole that you were in? Well. It was a relative but had become a Christian first that said that I would only get better if I went to church. And I remember mocking and saying what on earth do I want to go to church for?
Because we do blame God for the bad things that happen. We do not realize that evil comes from a source and that's Satan and that's, that's all biblical. So we do blame God for the negative things that happened in our lives. But yes, I went to church and I had a battle. I, I felt the presence of God. I believe that God's knocking on everybody's door before they
even walk into a church. But I was seeking any way to have healing, to seeing rather like a festering wound and thinking I just need this medication, clear it up, get the plaster on and I can get on with my life. But I realized that things would trigger me within church. The presence of God triggered me and sadly a lot of people, not through their own fault, didn't understand how I why I couldn't go up for communion, didn't understand the fear of hearing
the word sing and punishment. And if I even heard those words I would be triggered. There would be a a physical reaction and manifestation. And Vicky, you say that because in memories that you had you, you had specific memories of people taunting you. So the these, these, this, this was an abusive setting where you were being taunted that you were the 1 who'd committed the sin and therefore you need needed to be punished. Yes, yes, and that's exactly
what Satanism does. We'll use the word of of Jesus to so that you never ever tell and it's not the real Jesus. And that's that's the sad part. But then I went to the spiritual healing. I I went down every Ave. that was opened, but I'd already had the memories. I want to come back to the fact where people say that the memories came up through therapy.
My husband can verify that I had many memories before the therapy, but the therapy helped me to understand what those memories were, what those dreams that I regularly woke up in the night with. I would wake up in the night seriously with a squishy sausage coming at me. And I would be crying and perspiring in the night.
And I would say to my husband, you know, this squishy sausage is coming at me. And it was through that, that I was reliving as an adult in my dreams, the oral sex that sadly happened to me as a child. So, you know, you dissociate. This is what the ID is, or it used to be called multiple personality disorder. In order for a child to survive, you split off. It's it's like fragmentation and and it takes time for those parts to be made whole.
And once that healing comes, the little girl is healed. So you can have you know, you find that you know, the child would come up up in me many, many times. I would react like a child, even dealing with my own children. I used to think what on earth is wrong with me? But now I understand and and I have found the right church through my book. It explains that often it was African ministers that understood witchcraft. They understood the bondage that I was in because it's very open
in their country. Witchcraft is very open in their country. They either go to church or they go to the doctor or the witch doctor. Here it's dressed in suits and overalls. It's under different guises of spirituality, but it's still
demonic. That that's a very powerful explanation, Vicky. And although it was very many years ago, but I've also spoken to some African pastors and, and I, I've found that their instinctive knowledge of really dark stuff going on in Uki mean one who'd, who'd come across in order to give some sermons, including in Plymouth at, at one particular stage. His comment was that as he was taken and sort of people being kind to him, they were showing
him parts of the country. But he said I, I would be taking places and I would be seeing things which I, I, I inherently knew were very dark. So these might be pictures or they might be so-called works of art, but he was very clear that what he was seeing was not of the light. And I, I found the discussions with one, one of those men in particular, very, very interesting. Also, when I went on Radio 4 many years ago, I wondered whether I should leave my name. I was asked to leave my name.
And then I thought, no, I I need to. There's no point me speaking out if I'm, if I'm not going to, to be able to help. And as I when I got home, I had a phone call from ABBC producer who said because I'd left my number, he said, I think I'm going out at night. I think things are happening to me because I'm waking up and all my feet are scratched and dirty. I think I'm going out in the woods at night. That was ABBC producer Ryan.
Yeah. Don't you don't just have random phone calls from a stranger who's ABBC? Those things just don't happen because it's true this is happening. The, the evidence is all there, Vicky, there's no no question of this, but we we live in a state. People like to think that we're in the UK in 2025 and it's an upstanding Christian country with a system of law and order. It's a democracy. This is absolutely false.
We live in an increasingly corrupt and wicked country and at the end of the day, anything you can imagine is going on. And whereas in years gone, days gone by, whether we go back ten years or 50 or 200, these things were going on. They were largely under the surface because they were a body of people in the country who realised who, who could say the difference between right and wrong.
And we're back on that subject of of now we have the fact that the evidence is all there, but it's suppressed. Let me just. But I do believe we have hope. I do. Believe. That as, as all this is being exposed, it's being exposed for a reason, because they need revivals here, more young men are going back to church. More, more people are realizing that they can't just do this life on their own. They need God. And and so often persecution
comes to bring revival. But you know, I, I do believe that everything that's being exposed that has gone on for years is happening because it's God who's doing it. He's exposing it. And that is true and also good people and very brave people like yourself Vicky, are being used in order to expose what is happening. Because bringing things to the light is, is an absolute fundamental part of dealing with the problem in the 1st place. And I say. One thing.
Go on. The devil loses his power when things are brought to the light. He loses his power because the occult means hidden. When you expose things, that's when they lose their power. Yeah, you got involved with one. Well, you you tried to get involved with a a church. You then got involved with a so-called Christian group. You did you did get some good things came out of that.
But let's just say they, they weren't quite the, the people for you, but later you were to meet a particular pastor who clearly made a big impact on you and gave you help. Just can you talk us through how you really started to move into this spiritual side where, where you, you were really coming to the grips with, with the real issues of what this whole thing was about? What, what did that? How did you meet the pastor and and what did he actually do for
you? Dennis Wrigley was the founder of Maranatha. I would call him my spiritual father. He was very much a father figure, but understood he he wrote an article to the House of Commons, What on earth are we doing to our children? And they also had a ministry called Trumpet Call where in all those years ago we could see laws being changed, children's innocence being stolen. So he was very much, I would say had a prophetic voice. He, he's now passed on. He's, he's, he's, he's passed on.
I believe he's, he's in heaven now. But Dennis was very instrumental and I had healing. I had in the way that you would go to a secular counsellor and talk through your problems. Prayer is talking to your problems with God. So I would go for prayer ministry and that that was many leaders God led me to that helped me enormously where I would talk through issues, but God was present. So you're not just talking through the issues to relive them.
There's spiritual healing from the right source at the time. So it's freeing instead of it just being traumatic. So some of them, some of the healing I have that where I went to what I would call a new age ministry, not not real Christians. They thought they were. So bless them too because they're in deception, but they thought that they were walking in the truth. I would have the memories, but not the healing with it. I'd just have more anger and I'd want to shout and and say go and
get them, go and get them. Where is the Christian voices? Go and save them. The Christian voice doesn't go and get them. Otherwise we'd all, we'd all fall very, very short. It's it's go and save them because people are deceived. And so my journey was prayer with counselling, with God's presence, and it's been miraculous. But I don't think people need to go through everything that I went through. There's far more knowledge about abuse now.
I spent many years just trying to get people to believe me and that's still the issue today. That's why many people won't go to church, because church often won't talk about these things. They think we don't talk about the dark side. We don't. Well, if you don't expose the enemy, that's how he goes hidden. That's how there's infiltration in your churches. That's how you have Mace. You know, top end of the Masons is, is very hidden. You have Masons within the
church. It it, it, it has to be spoken about. Yes, indeed. So he, he, he gave you considerable help and, and, and you obviously learnt a lot through that. But at one point in the book, you talk about a particular occasion when you were, you were in church and you asked God for help and something happened. Do you remember that incident in in in the book you you're asking? There's so many, there's so many brides. I think you describe it as a feeling of pins and needles in
your arm. Oh yes. Oh, that was so powerful. Yes, I was in church and I like to come to God. I believe prayers, talking to God. I don't think we need to make things difficult, complicated. I think the gospel is very simple. But I was in church. It was an informal worship and I was in a very angry state. And it wasn't a normal service. It was just an evening service
with worship and prayer. And as the worship group were praying, one of the worship leaders had a picture of a shield, and he was describing the shield, saying this. It was shiny and one thing or another. And I was sat there quietly on my own, but I was mocking and I was sort of looking at my hands, my head down with my hands between my legs, and I was looking around saying, oh, who? Ray Henry's seen a shield. What do we all do now? Because the service carried on, we carried on singing.
Then it came to the prayer time and the vicar said I was in a Church of England church at the time. The vicar said now this is the time for everybody to bring their own personal prayers. So I was sat with my hands, my head bowed down, my hands between my legs and I said, you just tell me one thing God. I said how come evil seemingly has so much power in the world and pins and needles shot up both my arms. And I audibly heard the words
not if you wear your shield. And Ephesians 6 in the Word of God talks about putting on the armour of God and that the shield of faith extinguishes all the dots of the devil. And I've had those encounters. Nobody can ever take your testimony away. It says in the Word that you overcome by the blood of the Lamb and the word of your testimony. I've had those profound encounters with God, and that's why I believe that I can sit here today and speak as freely as I do.
And we are very, very grateful that you're doing that. Vicky, the time, time is right. And we, we didn't even manage the first slot, did we? When we said we were going to do the interview, there was something came up and we've had to wait a couple of weeks. But if it's, if there's one thing that I've learnt over all the time that I've been doing things with the UK column, it's things only happen when the time
is right. And if you try and force it and you get frustrated and, and angry, often the solution is you just need to wait a bit because when the time's right, all the pieces fall into place. So I'm going to say I, I've also experienced, experienced that you are able to use this. It's, it's a huge spiritual stepping stone for you, isn't it? It's something that takes you into a, a completely different frame of mind about yourself and, and indeed the battle you're in.
So the book is is a very uplifting book because it goes from all of the sad times and and the dark times around that abuse and it takes the reader through your life, all the challenges, and then ultimately to a point where you are a completely different person as a result of your spiritual journey. It's obviously made you much stronger. Are you still fighting at the moment to try and do something about what's happening and the fact that we still have thousands of children that are
suffering this type of abuse? I believe that this is, this is the part of still fighting, doing interviews like this. I recently did an interview on Tough Talk with Joe Lampshire. There are, there are so many. You know, you only need to go. It's, it's not through mainstream media that this is going to be dealt with. It is, it is through and it's not going down rabbit holes or conspiracy theories.
But you know, there is a, a word I remember when everybody kept accusing us of conspiracy theories. And you're a, it says in the Bible, don't call conspiracy what these people call conspiracy. So not everything's conspiracy. We really, really do need wisdom. But this is fighting. Speaking out about it, I believe, will give other people courage to come forward. And I believe that eventually there will be that corroboration, as there has been with other cases. And I think that there there
will be an overturn of evil. I do believe that there will be an overturn. But we know in the Bible that we're in the last days, so we we can't change what's going to happen. But I believe it's the church's finest hour to rise up and shine and have holy boldness. That's what I believe. We, we, this is, this is a very good point. We can't change what's going to happen, but we, we've got a it falls on all of us to help the people who can't help themselves.
That that I believe is, is, is a key point. And and of course, you've already mentioned the vulnerability of children. So there is no adult or should be no adult in this country or worldwide that is going to stand idly by while children are badly treated and abused. Yeah. And the the other bit I'll just add is that in, in meeting the mums I I met a few days ago who'd all had children taken away from them. The newer ones were still in a pretty bad place.
And there there was a lot of very powerful, tough emotions in the day. But in the afternoon we got talking more about the wider battle. And one of the things that I said to them, I showed them a video clip of, of some of the interviews that I've done with the mothers who've been brave enough to speak out about the trauma of having their children stolen by the state. So I showed a little 9 minute video clip of some of these mothers speaking. And yes, it did.
It was very hard for some of the mums present to watch it. But the point that I wanted to make is that those mothers had got to the point where they were brave enough to speak out and tell their story. And of course, what happens when they do more mothers come forward.
And then the second point that I made was that although a lot of the mums, they've all been through the court system and they've all, all experienced drowning in court documents, bundles of paper, which is supposedly the evidence. But I kept saying to these ladies, you are the evidence. You are the people who've experienced what what has happened, things have been done to you.
It's your testimony that makes the evidence as to what's going on. And of course, if there are thousands, if there were to be thousands of mothers coming forward talking about child's, how their child's been taken by the state, that is the evidence itself.
And it also applies. In the case of of abuse, the more people who can be helped and encouraged to speak out, to speak the truth about what's happened, the more people come forward and the more we are then getting these terrible things up to the surface where they can be dealt with. Yes, and we've seen that with child sexual abuse. We've seen there is help, now there is people aren't being
silenced. We've seen it in domestic abuse where women, you know, can now speak out that, you know, people didn't want to accept that that was going on, that people were being beaten up behind closed doors. But people, we have to expose evil. We have to. We want to live in a safe society. We want our children to be able to play out safely. It's so much harder to parent
your children these days. And of course, children, indeed children who've suffered these things, as you have experienced, go on to have problems and then that makes it difficult, difficult for the next generation of children. So it's so important to to be able to draw a line under this. Vicky, coming up to the top of the hour, it's been a fascinating discussion. I wanted to mention the name because I think this particular person deserves some
recognition. It's it's a man I interviewed on the UK column many, many years ago. In fact, I'm allowed to say I think it was that UK column interview which is the one that took him from being somebody who was battling behind the scenes to somebody who got recognition for what he was doing. And that was the former Metropolitan policeman, John Wedger. And John has given you a lot of support over the years. Yes, he came to my book launch and he continues to speak out.
You know, this is all, it's all going to happen. Justice eventually will come. And yes, he continues to speak out and we're still very good friends. He does an awful lot and and and he knows what goes on behind the scenes of the corruption. We're seeing police officers that are involved with having child pornography. You know, we're seeing people in places of authority doing the the unimaginable and still the silence. There should be absolute outrage.
There should be outrage. Yes, probably. Then the other name I should mention this comes into my head. So I think I'm being told to talk about this man. Mike Veal was the chief Constable that did all the investigations around Ted Heath. He did it in a very measured,
professional way. And of course, as he delved into the accusations of abuse around former British Prime Minister Ted Heath, he he the chief Constable, absolutely vilified by the press and media, with the BBC in the lead, of course. And I want to say to the audience that that I understand that he's, you know, he's had to go through a very, very hard personal battle since he did that police work to try and protect children from very powerful abusers.
And I know that John Wedger has been trying to give him some support as well. So there is a price to be paid when people attempt to help. But it's utterly brilliant when we see these very strong people such as John Wedger and and Mike Veal, who are two of many who have tried to do something about it. Yes. And we also have the reigns list and John Wedge has spoken about that. I was just looking for it. Just let me think it's important.
While you're looking, I'll just I'll just say to the viewers of. Importance. I don't know what the Rains list is. It's a it's a list of names that was compiled by a lady psychologist who, in trying to help principally young people who came to her with psychological problems, she discovered in the interviews that many of them were talking about exactly the sort of abuse that Vicky Ash has just described.
And she kept notes of the interviews and she built up a list of names and she built up a little paragraph summary really, of the person and what they were being accused of or what they were doing. Some of them were abusers, but some of them were had got responsibility within the abuse cult. So they were the people who were the enforcers or they were the snitches. They were the messengers. And over to you, Vicky.
And her name was John Coleman. Yes, you've you've explained what the Rens list is. And she also always had to put a name on that list. She always had two independent witnesses. Yes. For every name that went on the list. Yeah, and of course, the point of the list is that it showed a whole spectrum of society, from people in the very, very highest positions of authority and power down to people who were broken and destitute but were still involved in this type of
activity. Vicky, it's been absolutely amazing talking to you and I want to really thank you for being so forthright and describing what this problem is about. Because I absolutely believe that people have got to understand it for what it is. And if you are a Christian, I'm going to look you directly in the eye and say you've got a responsibility to understand what this is. So all this business, Oh no, I can't listen to this, it's too upsetting.
You've got a duty to listen to it because you need to understand it because then you can do something about it. Sorry to be a bit tough on the team, but this is so important that as things have got tougher in life and we are at this very important period of of the world, it is very sad to see a lot of Christians just losing the courage to actually stand up against what is stand up for right in what is a spiritual battle. Some a final word for you on
that. I believe even other countries are telling the UK to stand up. Even other leaders elsewhere are telling us to stand up. I do believe that there will be God will save the UKI do believe that they'll be revival. And I want to thank you and your team Brian, for also being bold
on speaking out on these issues. And that's what we're here to do. We want people to come into the truth of of of abuse so that we can protect and save children and prevent it happening and also the huge industry even of taking children off mothers again, it makes money adoption and fostering. It's it's all everything's about money and greed. That is ultimately, but that again goes back to the Bible that when the devil tempted Jesus, he said he'd give him the kingdoms of the world, didn't
he? And Jesus said man doesn't live by bread alone. It's a spiritual journey. So we're we can't be bought off, we can't be paid off, we can't be silenced. And money isn't our God. Money isn't our God. But sadly, that's what happens. You'll lose your job. You will, you will. It's always hits us in the purse that'll be taken away from you, your families and and that's to silence. But the more people come forward, I believe an Army's rising. An army's rising in these days.
Absolutely. And we, we've gone through the discussion we've gone through and we've, we, we've got to a point where we're actually smiling at the moment because we are talking about very positive things. But of course laughter itself is a very, very powerful weapon because the people ranged against us doing these terrible things don't want happy people. So the more buoyant you can, you can be laughter is a very powerful tool. And I will also say, of course, prayer is a very powerful tool.
And that is why they are trying to make it unlawful. What better indicator can you ask for them? They're trying to outlaw praying. Why? Because they're frightened of it. Last comment, Vicky. And that's where all the mental health and depression, the word depression comes from, all the mental health issues and hopelessness and disappointment. And that's not the news of the gospel. The gospel is that hope has a name and the joy of the Lord your strength.
And I say all this in my book of my journey through such trauma and atrocity that I have a a joy that doesn't come from the world. I have a peace that doesn't come from the world. I have an assurance and a security that comes from God alone. And I believe that that's available to everybody that listens. And, and I hope that they cry
out to him because he's waiting. He's waiting to hear their prayer and he's waiting to step in and answer and make a difference to our dying world because that's what the world is, dying. But you know, the church is growing. The church is growing. Amen. Amen, Vicky, thank you so much. It's it's been fascinating to hear you talk through this and talk about your book. And I really wish you all the best in getting the message out there.
You know, that the UK column will do everything it can to help you and anybody else that's fighting in this field. And yeah, just thank you. It's been excellent. Thank you for having me.