The Twohundredpercent Podcast emerges from its hidey hole this week with a lime and a coconut, just in time to discuss the fizzing excitement of the 4th round of the FA Cup. Unhappiness is the order of the day at Manchester United, where only drastic measures now seem likely to be able to save their season. Your regular correspondents are on hand to pontificate on just how radical these need to be. There's also a distinct side of aggro as Edward and Ian look back at the 200% Derby between Spurs ...
Feb 10, 2022•55 min
On this week's Twohundredpercent Podcast, Edward and Ian are joined for a second time by Evertonian Sam Whyte (in addition to our now regular guest host, the fire alarm in Ian's house) to pick through the rubble of another week of top line soccer, including the departure of the Everton boss. Rafa Benitez wasn't backed to the hilt with transfer funds at Everton but he made his presence felt in a variety of other no doubt long-lasting ways. Sam ably helps us sift through each of these, as well as ...
Jan 20, 2022•1 hr 2 min
2022's first Twohundredpercent Podcast sees your heroes reflecting on a bumper week of FA Cup 3rd round upsets. Ian is somewhat concerned both for Nuno Tavares' long term career at Arsenal and also by the continual merry-go-round of blind hope and incompetence that has characterised Newcastle United's disappointing season. Meanwhile, Edward busily picks out the best goal of the round, from lowly Kidderminster Harriers' shock win against Championship Reading. But where is Reading? We look into it...
Jan 13, 2022•1 hr 2 min
On this week's festive extravaganza Twohundredpercent Podcast, Edward and Ian are joined by podcasting stalwart and renowned Metal fan Chris Nee to look ahead to another scintillating year of football. Your heroes explore Chris's turbulent relationship with the beautiful game over the past year, before going on to touch on any number of hot topics. These include: the vital role the pornography industry must surely play in the normalisation and regulation of NFTs; the reason Edward's own Cryptocu...
Dec 23, 2021•1 hr 7 min
This week's Twohundredpercent Podcast is split into two parts. In part one your heroes investigate what is going on at Everton, a club who are seemingly in freefall in spite of their European Cup-winning manager (cough) and their owner's almost infinitely deep pockets. There's considerable there-but-for-the-grace-of-god-go-I mirth at some of the Toffees' recent business in the transfer market and any attempt to calm the nerves of jittery Evertonians is soon kiboshed by Ian, who has been watching...
Dec 16, 2021•1 hr 4 min
This week's Twohundredpercent Podcast is a football computer games special, with both of your heroes having been playing titles that promise to offer up something new to the table. Both fail dismally, of course, which causes some consternation as both Edward and Ian like dicking about playing computer games a whole lot. There are thoughts on the unique joy afforded by modern video games whereby the consumer also gets to be an unpaid product tester and the epochal FIFA versus PES rivalry for mark...
Dec 09, 2021•1 hr 7 min
This week's Twohundredpercent Podcast focuses on the new arrival at Manchester United, Germany's intellectual powerhouse coach Ralf Rangnick. But what do your heroes - or indeed anyone else in Britain - know about this international man of mystery? Very little, it turns out. Nevertheless, it's a gap in all our knowledge that seemingly eats an hour of your lifetime. After a weekend in which Roy Keane and Jamie Carragher had a circular argument in which both men were simultaneously right and wrong...
Dec 02, 2021•1 hr
This week's Twohundredpercent Podcast is a right-up-to-the-minute look at a goalkeeper Liverpool signed 40 years ago, as Edward and Ian consider the career and legacy of Bruce Grobbelaar. Your heroes childhoods were both touched by the acrobatic exploits of this outstanding player to some extent, so they try to get a handle on where he came from, who he managed to beat to the role and whether or not a chimpanzee in a green jersey could have done just as effective a job playing in goal for the br...
Nov 25, 2021•1 hr 3 min
How many times have all of YOUR toenails fallen out? None, presumably. But one of your regularly scheduled heroes on this week's Twohundredpercent Podcast's answer to that question may well surprise (and horrify you). It would certainly interest the subject of this week's conversation, Professor of Podiatry and English football's most experienced manager Neil Warnock. He's been a controversial figure for much of his career in the dugout, but his recent sacking by Middlesbrough gave both Edward a...
Nov 18, 2021•1 hr 6 min
On this week's emotive FA Cup special Twohundredpercent Podcast, we join your heroes as they recount their trek up to Hertfordshire from their homes on the Sussex coast to watch St Albans City play League 2 leaders Forest Green Rovers in the First Round Proper. It was a red letter day for the Saints, too, as they emerged with a 3-2 victory to secure their first win against League opposition since the English Civil War. Not much time to dwell on anything else, or so you'd think: in fact, the ever...
Nov 11, 2021•1 hr 4 min
This week's Twohundredpercent Podcast has lofty ideals, as Edward and Ian tackle the thorny and ever-present subject of loss. We discover the reason why any loss by a big team is now greeted by pant wetting on a national and international scale, and fire a stinging riposte to any pearl clutching ninnies whose innocence has been so badly abused by Norwich City's failure to win a game so far this season that they believe they ought to be expelled from the league. Your heroes also finally address t...
Nov 04, 2021•1 hr 2 min
This week's Twohundredpercent Podcast (sponsored by Smithy's Kaff) is all about identifying problems and finding solutions. After a week where the Premier League's top three teams absolutely battered anything put in front of them, your heroes are keen to work out if this kind of competitive gulf is here to stay. If so, what is the answer? A Brentford-style, statistics-led "Moneyball" approach? A return to long ball tactics? Or the wilful neglect of all the technological trappings of the modern g...
Oct 28, 2021•1 hr 1 min
This week's Twohundredpercent Podcast walks the fine line between moral outrage and slapstick comedy like never before. However, for once it is neither Ian nor Edward's fault, they are merely playing with the hands that footballing fate has dealt them. There are some serious ponderings on Newcastle United's new Faustian takeover agreement, as well as Manchester United's wanton disregard for both their sporting legacy and their carbon footprint. Your heroes also delve into Paul Merson's affecting...
Oct 21, 2021•1 hr 13 min
This week's Twohundredpercent Podcast is a Listeners' Questions special, with the entire agenda set by a bumper crop of queries sent in by you. Naturally, these ended up with Edward and Ian learning more about themselves and each other than ever before, but in between the discoveries there is also plenty of football chat. Ian holds forth on the efficacy of the Pozzo brothers' approach to running Watford FC, as well as the prospect of a populist fan-led uprising changing British football forever ...
Oct 06, 2021•1 hr 14 min
On this week's Twohundredpercent Podcast, Edward and Ian - two weary, middle-aged old duffers - met during a torrential rainstorm that at times sounded like being inside a car wash in order to harvest their ripest takes about a sport that has long since stopped caring what they think. On the slate was the embarrassing Tottenham performance in last weekend's North London Derby which has cast serious doubt over both Nuno Espirito Santo's future at the club and also the number of follicles on the t...
Sep 30, 2021•1 hr 6 min
It's a(nother) bumper seaside special edition of the Twohundredpercent Podcast this week, as Edward and Ian return from the international break more fed up with everything than ever. Casual fans of Manchester United and people who vote Conservative should probably give this one a miss, as two weary old Trots do their best to pick through what's going on at Oldham Athletic, try to establish the numerically sustainable level of British football clubs and bitterly critique the BBC's new Premier Lea...
Sep 16, 2021•1 hr 19 min
On this week’s all-thriller Twohundredpercent Podcast, Edward and Ian are thankfully joined by special guest Sam Whyte, who is artfully able to take both of your regular heroes – who had both been on the pop – by the hand through their weekly discussion of all things football. And what a week it’s been. Edward, Ian and Sam look on with grim faces at Manchester United’s signing of Cristiano Ronaldo, which is both inexpicable and wrong whichever angle one chooses to look at it. Arsenal’s recent tr...
Sep 01, 2021•1 hr
This week's Twohundredpercent Podcast sees your heroes turn their gimlet eye onto two stories from the Football League. The first is a horror story, that of Nottingham Forest and their dismal start to the season under Chris Hughton. We explore key issues such as: who is responsible for editing his Wikipedia page? Are monkeys in suits any match for modern football data analysts? And are all these questions moot, when the prophecised Chosen One is consolidating his power right now in Sherwood Fore...
Aug 25, 2021•1 hr 9 min
This week's Twohundredpercent Podcast is (probably) the only place that you'll get to both hear Sean Dyche talking backwards and admiration for Ron Atkinson's leather jacket. And that's just for starters, because Edward and Ian had all sorts of shit to unpack, what with it having just been the opening weekend of the Premier League season. Amongst their discoveries is that Pep Guardiola is (still) bald, Japhet Tanganga is now one of our own (if you support Spurs) and it's never not going to be to...
Aug 18, 2021•1 hr 10 min
Association Football returns as the mainstay of the Twohundredpercent podcast from this week and it is like Edward and Ian have never been away. Except for the fact that FC Barcelona have run out of money and been forced to let Lionel Messi run away and join the circus. There's also news from Derby County (a club in crisis to a lesser extent, but try telling that to Wayne Rooney), FA Cup Quarter Final action (from 1982), listener questions and praise for the awesome natural power of rhizomes. It...
Aug 11, 2021•1 hr 6 min
On the final free-to-air This Is Our Everest until who knows when, sponsored by Bacon and Mustard, Edward and Ian have been watching a very special edition of Sportsnight from May 1969, when the assembled dignitaries were trying to find a new BBC football commentator. In addition to a potted history of the evolution of the Beeb's football commentary pool, David Coleman giving a cameraman what for, Ed "Stewpot" Stewart and yet another appearance by Anglia TV's Gerry Harrison; your heroes finally ...
Aug 05, 2021•1 hr 2 min
Get off your arse, because This Is Our Everest returns once again with your heroes watching So It Goes, the Granada TV music magazine show from August 1976. It's a notable programme too, as this was the national television debut of The Sex Pistols, a group of Dickensian herberts who were about to create a very big (albeit brief) stink. But what of the rest of the show? Edward and Ian encounter a geography teacher who should be at home with his family burping out some prog rock, Peter Sutcliffe p...
Jul 29, 2021•1 hr 3 min
On this week's Bonus Everest there's a special treat for all of you long-suffering listeners who miss Ian desperately and are yearning to be free. Because this time, Edward has been joined by Chris Oakley from (among many other things) The Football Attic: Rewind podcast, a fellow avowed enthusiast of all things retro, to help take you through five episodes of the venerable Rank Organisation documentary series Look At Life. As Edward and Chris look on and learn about subjects as varied as dangero...
Jul 22, 2021•1 hr 6 min
On this week's bonus Everest, it's time for you to tune up (or detune) your mind to the exacting and often challenging universe of The Professionals. Patriotism, a sense of duty and an almost psychopathic, whisky-addled, disregard for life or property will get us out of this mess: particularly as the world's fattest, wheeziest and most unhealthy group of middle aged white men are hoping to prevail in an all-out race war. Your heroes reveal the secret number to dial to get the nuclear bomb squad,...
Jul 08, 2021•1 hr 18 min
This week's Everest sees Edward and Ian revisit a time when television was never explicit but nevertheless still fucking terrifying: the world of British Public Information films of the 1970s and 1980s. Their relentless efficacy is demonstrated early as Ian recalls exactly how the word SPLINK might save your life, before Les Gray, Kevin Keegan and Alvin Stardust step in with further handy hints. The general utility of a 30-foot long metal pole as a children's toy is considered, the dirty and dis...
Jun 24, 2021•57 min
On this week's This Is Our Everest, Edward and Ian visit some game show action from 1974 with The Golden Shot, ITV's terrifying crossbow-related teatime juggernaut. With Bob Monkhouse no longer on hosting duties, your heroes discover all they need to know about people casting a long shadow. Meanwhile, studio guest Frankie Holmes gives a terrified audience member guaranteed PTSD, something Ian no doubt makes worse by immediately trying to find her on Facebook. Ken Dodd does five minutes of materi...
Jun 17, 2021•52 min
This week's This Is Our Everest sees your heroes reach an important (to them) milestone: their 69th episode overall, including the 24 Christmas Everests. To celebrate, if that is the correct word, Edward and Ian watched the bawdy 1974 sex comedy Confessions of a Window Cleaner. We quickly gain an insight into the jaded state of the former's addled mind now, while the latter not only undergoes all seven stages of grief but even finds time to invent an eighth. It's hard to know where to start with...
Jun 10, 2021•45 min
On this week's This Is Our Everest, your heroes have been watching an episode of the animated children's series Bertha from 1985. Ian has never encountered Bertha before so he's unaware of the incredible potential of this perhaps sentient machine that can make literally anything. However, there's still a business to run and as such we find ourselves needing to consider the impact of time and motion studies, the inadvisability of unilateral decision-making within the workplace dynamic and suggest...
Jun 03, 2021•46 min
On this week's This Is Our Everest your heroes have their swimming costumes ready to go for the beauty contest-come-cattle auction that was Miss Anglia 1980, the kind of awful, degrading bullshit that was more or less completely obsolete at least a decade before this programme was broadcast and yet somehow or other still a thing in 1980. It stirs thoughts and feelings in your regular judging panel, who are taken aback both by Vince Hill's age and his undeniable Rainbow pedigree; reveal how often...
May 27, 2021•53 min
This week's emotional This Is Our Everest sees your heroes facing up to a 1978 episode of the Granada Television documentary series This England on the subject of Snooker, a game that both Edward and Ian found infinitely fascinating until watching this. Nevertheless, your regular correspondents rally to discuss the impressive common sense of John Virgo's career trajectory, the concept of excellence fatigue in professional sport and an idea for a lucrative new YouTube channel. Ian defends people'...
May 20, 2021•44 min
