When One Door Closes, Janet Will Tell You (The Valley Recap)

Two Teas in a Pod. It's Teddy Mellencamp and camera Jeedge.

Hey, guys, welcome back to the episode of Two Teas in a Pod. Today we are going to be recapping the Valley. How are you, Dolores, I'm good?

How are you?

I'm good. I'm going to the happiest place on Earth today, Disneyland.

Oh get out.

Well, I feel so bad. I mean, my daughter's nineteen, and I still feel bad when I have to go away for a weekend or in this month of where we May. I've been like.

Today's May twenty eighth, It's Frank's birthday.

Have you happy birthday?

You know? Cast trip?

Then I got home, I went to New York and then.

You haven't been there.

Then you have not been. I have not been home the month May.

So ever since I need some attention.

Yes, so Memorial Day when we got back from NAPA, we went to lunch and went shopping, and then yesterday we went not on her nails done. And yesterday Mom, you know, you said you want to go Disneylandson, we always go on once or twice a year, and I said, yeah, she goes can we go on Wednesday? I'm like sure, let's go. Do you want to invite your brother? No? Come on, no, he can go next time.

She just wants you to herself. We always want our mom to ourselves.

So before we get into the valley, did you there's a couple of things I want to talk about. Did you see that Brittany Jax's X has a new love interest?

I didn't, Yes, so will X Victim his name?

He's a musician, Grammy award winning musician Bill Gittin's I believe is how you pronounce it? So I went down the rabbit hole. I looked him up. He's award winning musician. He's got a beautiful he is a beautiful man, beautiful, so very happy. She is thirty six and has been seen with him. I don't know why an articles they always have to put your age. Why do they always Well.

I'm still waiting for Angela Oakley's age to be in an article.

It's never gonna cap up.

I don't know why. I don't know why they do that. I guess, well, you're thirty six, it doesn't really matter if they put your age. But I am really excited for her. I hope that whatever it is gets her through what she needs to go through right now.

Well, this will get her through it, trust me, google that.

What is it the saying to get over somebody? Get under them? Yeah?

So she was on Lawless podcasts recently and she spoke about a new romantic interest.

Oh Brittany, Brittany, you're vulnerable right now. I don't care how cute he is or how good his voice is. Please listen to me. Just keep your head on straight.

So happy for her. And then I don't know about you, but did you wake up this morning wanting to see the Chrislies walking out of jail? I know this isn't probably related, but Trump grantly kind of I boll pardon wow, Hot and Julie after two years of being.

Wow, they were looking at some heavy time.

And what did you think about the time that they got for the punishment they got for what they did? Twelve years and seven years.

I don't know a lot about the case.

Camera we need Emily and Shane to get on it.

Yeah, yeah, I need to know more about the case.

So I'm waiting to see those pictures. You know, there's gonna be pictures of them coming out, just like there was of Teresa.

I wish them the best.

That's all okay, so let's get onto the valley. Episode seven. Now, Jasmine is driving with her girlfriend Melissa to pick up Zach from lax. Jasmine says she's still struggling by Danny and what went down, and I'm like, come on. She thinks the apology from the White Party wasn't sincere. Later on, she tries to explain, and he's very open list.

He had the patience he did him and Nia had the patience to hear out her feelings and hopefully put it to bed.

I just that whole scene with Zach talking about his on and off again boyfriend Benji. I zero interest. Yeah, sorry, zero interests. Nia and Michelle are with the kids set and play date. Nia asked what happened at the dinner after she left, we got a flashback to Jasmine ranting about Danny's behavior. Nia says Danny claimed to have apologized from the bottom of his heart at the White Party,

They're putting a lot on Isabella. Yeah, I feel like.

And Michelle admits she wants to get married again and she hope it's to Aaron.

But Aaron was ready to fly the coop last episode. Yeah, yeah, because I don't really want to deal with this and blah blah blah, and you know, you only have to say that to me once.

Bye.

See yeah, then.

Don't then exactly, you know what you're signing up for.

If you handle it, then don't see don't tell me about it, just go Yeah. Well, now they have moved in together, Aaron and Michelle have moved in, That's what I heard so allegedly. So then Isabella's around Aaron a lot.

Yeah yeah, so see what happens. But Jason, Luke and Danny are getting burgers this scene here, I mean Jason. Jason has a bit of an intervention with Danny, claiming he made Janet uncomfortable in the pantry. I mean, Jason sticking up for his wife.

Here's the thing they did show it. He didn't have to shut the door.

Well, I mean, he says that he walks in Danny's in confessional. He says he walks in grabs a white claw. Now, wouldn't that be a warm white claw? Or is there maybe a refrigerator in the past. I'm not quite sure.

I honestly don't give a fuck.

I know it's like they're like beating a dead horse at this point about this whole pantry thing. And if he was really hiding taking a swig out of the tequila bottle, why would he do it in front of Janet? I mean, off on the show.

Of people that don't drink, that he has to be hiding in a closet to drink.

I mean every time, Brittany, I think he hid.

I don't think he hid. I really don't.

I don't think so either. But these this is a group of people that drink a lot. I mean, Brettan's saying like it's always like, let's shot it.

I think he just.

But I don't know.

I don't think he needed to go in there and shut the door though, you know, you're in there with Janna, who's going to make a thing about everything you do.

That's what I'm saying. But then Jason was bugging me so bad in the situation because of the fact like he was acting like a little bitch, like getting involved in sticking up for his wife and all that. I'm like, dude, what are you doing?

But let me ask you something. He was sticking up before his wife for what reason? Because someone shut the door and took a swig of Tekeia. I don't know.

I don't know if he was sticking up for her or just being her mouthpiece and she has it out for him.

It's just wright, does Janet have it out for him? There seems to be a thing where they they're like, well, Janet, of course she was gonna make a big deal about it, right.

I just the whole scene was there's a lot of.

There's a lot of dragged out storylines here, and I'm sorry, guys, it's the truth. It is. We're still talking about Jasmine, who we already spoke about this all season. I understand that was rude and that was wrong, and he apologized. So you either move on or you don't or don't accept the apology and say, listen, just stay away from

Well, we do get some new new dirt in the show when Jacks comes back to record a video while he's in treatment. He's wearing a shirt that says tired dad. And I thought, what is this? You don't even have your kid, like, you're in treatment, why are you wearing the shirt? So I googled it to see, like, is this like a cool brand or something good?

I'm glad you googled, right, and.

It was you know how I am? And all I can find was a shirt on Etsy that said tired dad.

So I was like, tired from what?

Tired from what?

Right?

So, after seventeen days in rehab, he's going to see his son. He starts getting emotional in his video and says his experience at the treatment center has been eye opening. I really want to feel bad for him.

But I'm just not there yet. I do not feel bad for him, No, I don't, But I just hope he does the right thing. And I'm not so sure that he is because now he's getting out of rehabit, he's getting an apartment next to Tom Schwartz, and you know, the first thing they teach you and rehab is people places, things you need to remove yourself from.

Right, And he's like literally telling Brittany that he wants to work on their relationship, and then he gets a house next to Schwartz where you know that's going to be a party house. I just don't think that's the best.

Ways in the middle of everything. And he seems to be the most calm, but he's always in the middle of the shit happened.

I think he's a little bit of a voice of reason, a little bit.

Yeah, yeah, I mean he should have told him, don't come by me. Yeah, a real friend at this point with some common sense would say, Jack, you don't belong here.

Well, he should have talked to his wife first, you know, he should have had some communication there with her.

Oh yeah, that's what I was saying. I don't buy any of this. I'm sorry.

And then be like, hey, listen, you know I want to make plans when I get out, and I want to talk to you about it, but don't say you want to work on our relationship and then go move next to you know, frat boy Alli.

After he's calling her names, rage texting her while she's out. I mean, no, no, he shouldn't even have his damn phone. Right.

So at Brittany's rental house, she's with her mom setting up for the Shark party. Luke and Christen come over. Brittany tells them that Cruz got to see Jax after thirty minutes to them being together. Britney showed up so Jax could talk to the therapist together and things didn't go well. So Brittany's like, she's there's no discouraged, there's there's no hope. Yeah, somehow he got into the house without her knowing and took off the covers to the security camera he put up in the first place. So

Yeah, exactly, it's a smart house. So yeah, I have all that.

So he has taped cards over in the past, he came in, he removed them, and it was he's so he can spy on Brittany while he spends the rest of his fifteen days in rehab.

I would imagine I'm sorry, I don't know, is he and McDonald's or rehab. Why does he have access to his phone? I need be texting his drug dealer. He could be texting his friends. That's a bullshit ass rehab. Do you know?

What had been great rehab for him is to cast him on traders because you can't drink, really you can't. You don't have your phone, You're locked in a room, like there you go, nobody, you can't do.

He shouldn't have to be casting on traders. I know, no, I know that, but like, like this is what we're resorting to at this point. Tmera for this guy to be like humbled, like cast him on traders so he can actually go to a real rehab.

I know. So Brittany had it. She says she wishes Jackson was in jail so she didn't have to deal with him. And I get that, Well, get.

That would be a real another one that would be an actual rehab for him.

Well I understand they have a kid together, but Brittany also needs to take some responsibility and stop engaging in these conversations with him. Block him, block them, check it out.

He can't get to you.

Yeah, are you afraid of him?

Is he violent? Because sometimes when you block a guy, they get violent, they come after you, so you're afraid to block him, and I understand that. But instead she's like, letting him do this if she wants any new relationship to work, and take it from Michelle, you know, cut the shit with the fighting. Stop making fighting with your ex a part of your relationship. New relationship.

Okay. So to get this straight, she has a rental in the house that they bought together in the valley that was where he was staying, right, So he took the camera, He took the papers off the cameras in hopes that he's going to catch her coming in there and doing something. It's just so weird. Anyways, let's move on. So Danny takes Jasmine and Melissa to a brewery. He only orders water. Smart move. Jasmine explained she got triggered by Danny's actions because this is something that happened to

I understand what she's saying, but but I do too.

I understand that, but do you think that it was that deep with Danny? You know, you're in a friend group.

I don't know what he he patted her around the butt or something anyway like that.

Ever, again, well, I will give him props because he did sit, he did listen, he did educate himself, and he did apologize, and he didn't try to push back in any way. So lovely, Yes, that was good.

He was That was good. He accepted his fate. He's he said he was sorry, said he was wrong. He listened to her feelings after the apology. So I think we should be good now.

So and Kristen, Luke, and Jesse are grabbing lunch. They catch Jesse up on all the drama surrounding Danny, and Kristen says Jason is on her shit list, so she's pissed off about Jason going off on Danny. Kristen says, Jason needs to keep his wedding ring on all the time.

Kristen doesn't like him right now. She looks really pretty, by the guys, she looked great.

She looked great. So Kristen's like, Jason needs to keep his wedding ring on when he goes out. So evidently she's claiming that when he goes out, he takes his wedding ring off and guess puts in his pocket. I don't know that would not be I was supposed to be a rumor.

Oh here's something that happened two years ago.

Two years ago. Now, what do you think about a man married man that doesn't always wear his wedding ring.

I think a lot of people don't always wear their wedding ring because it's just not you know, always Like so, I don't wear rings all the time. I don't wear my jewelry. It gets in the way, like I don't like things on me.

Yeah. And I, oh god, I remember a time where we were, Eddie and I were on Watch It Happens Live. We were in New York, obviously getting ready at the hotel. We were rushed out and we were on it together. This is right after we got married. And and doctor what's that doctor, famous doctor that's on movies, Doctor film? No, the other one that's Drew, doctor Drew. Okay, And he made a comment because Eddie didn't have his wedding ring

Like a normal I didn't know he was a I'm.

Like, okay, let's not go there. But whatever you think. And Jesse's confessionally so the rumor was completely stupid. Personally, he would take his wedding ring off to go to the gym in the grocery store. Why the grocery store.

That night there, that's the biggest ever.

He should have kept that out. The gym, I get it, because you're picking up weights, but the grocery store.

See say less.

Yes, Luke is getting so annoyed that Kristen brought up a necessary drama. I mean, I think it's pretty much every husband's reaction to his wife gossip, being like, oh god, really now this is going to cause a problem.

I love that Luke was mad about it.

Why are we having a shark party?

Another kid party? I don't know.

I mean I thought for a second maybe it was her son's birthday, but I'm like a shark party. So everybody shows up to Britney's rental house. Oh, because it's Britney's favorite animal is a shark? An animal? A mammal? I don't know, but it's so Why would a shark be somebody's favorite? It's called it a fish.

It was rough. This was a rough episode. I'm sorry, this is.

What I'm telling you right now.

This was a very She has a lot of theme parties. This was a very raveryone. If she ever if I was at her house the week before for the Cowgirl Party or Cowboy Party, whatever it was, and then she sent me an invitation for the Shark Party, I would definitely be busy that week.

I this, You're right. This episode was a lot. I mean not in a good way. It was like it was a little bit of a struggle to get through for me. Now everybody's showing up to the Shark Party and Sina Brock and Lala. I got a little confused when I saw Brock barely he had one speaking part, and I know broke.

Beer.

That was his kind of show.

He would be like the magledon necklace guy.

So at first I thought when I saw Lala, I'm like, oh my god, there's Nia. She's pregnant and they were hiding it the whole time, and it was Lala.

Oh okay. I wouldn't want to I wouldn't be upset if I was mistaken for Laala. I think she's so pretty.

He's so pretty, so pretty. Did you like seeing the Man of pompcast on the Valley.

I always like seeing them on the Valley. It's not the first time they were at the last party.

Do you think it's difficult for them as as cast that was on a show, popular show for over a decade and now they're just popping in. Do you think that would be a hard pill to swallow? Are they like, you know what we're to go on and we know next season we're going to be full time.

Well, I think that when you're not filming, any chance to film, do it a chance, you have to do it.

You know, it's all about it makes if it makes sense, do it right.

It's all about staying on TV. Like Lala got her scene now that could have you know, Shay and La La. I mean Sina was standing there in La La and they told off Jesse and you know, they got they got a scene and it was nice to see them. Actually, they brought a lot to the show and that's good for Bravo to see bring them back.

I like seeing familiar faces.

Me.

I think it's a very very good, yeah, very smart mood for them to film because this is, you know, a new, up and coming show and I do believe that they'll be on it full time eventually. I think we need them.

We do.

We absolutely need that group.

So at the party, how many people could they have on? They'd have to get rid of some people or I think they could.

Okay, I'm just saying so. At the party, Jason approaches Danny to apologize for his behavior. At lunch, Jason gets emotional and he's talking when he's talking to him. But Danny, he does accept his apology and they end on good day.

Was very nice about it.

I've always seen Danny pretty nice. Like That's why I'm like, am I missing something? Is he like this crazy drunk that only the cast knows about? And he's you know, some people on on camera are like print and proper and nothing like they are in real life.

So I'm like, it's coach both ways. They could be bad on camera and good in real life.

Like yeah, exactly, like Camra Judge. Yeah, you know sometimes.

Everyone says she's nothing like she is. I know she's so nice.

You know why because because I would drink too much on camera and I'm not a good drinker. So I have learned that I should not do that because I get nervous. People don't understand that people. Yeah, oh, she's so outgoing, and I'm like, no, I'm really not. You know, I just I get my camera balls and I drink and then i'd go overboard. But which sometimes I'll make good TV, but then I have to put up with a g or's that chet bitch.

So I make good TV and listen.

But Jason nohing. He messed up being Janet's mouthpiece by going after Danny made me like him again, like he admitted, like what I did was wrong. He's like, fuck, I'm sorry. I wasn't a bro. So I'm wondering if if his wife is like, really, why'd you do that? You didn't stick to the script.

Well, listen, I mean it was a little redeeming for me to see. I'm glad that he did it. It was the right move.

He should have done that, absolutely. I think afterwards he's like.

Fuck, fuck fuck fuck.

Sola calls Jesse out on his unacceptable behavior towards Michelle. How did you feel about Laala getting involved in this? Because she's like, she goes after him and then she says, I have zero interest in this conversation, but she started it up.

I know, God, well we know Lala to be that girl, right. She went hard on Tom Sandible, she went after Rachel. She's the one who's gonna speak her mind, go after the guy and you know whoever, and say what she has to say. Well, you know, it's like it's not like something new that we've seen, something out of character for her. No.

So, Lala and Sheena are very close to Michelle, and I think that they know more information than the rest of us do. But he did admit to calling her names and in a group chat into her face said it was a moment of weakness. I mean, it wasn't. I'm not sticking off by any means. I don't like it. I don't like it. It's I don't know if it was something that she should get involved in, but it was, you know, it's by stuff the show a little bit.

Does she do it off camera too?

I don't know. I really don't know.

Like, like if I got in a fight, like if something happened with me and Paul and me and Laala were really close, is she get to see Paul out and tell him off. I kind of feel like she would.

Yeah, I think she would.

I know, I want to give it to her. I know, Sheena always, you know, fights for what's the right thing, and Laala says it. I mean, I just think that they really are true to who they are in real person. Well know, friends with Ghina too.

Yeah, I mean I appreciate it. Sheena laid into me a little bit at the upfront because picking on the show, for picking on the sho and she talked to me about it, and like, Okay, I get it. I get it. I've been in reality TV long enough and I get it. And so I'm sure that if she's coming to me, she would go after her acts as well. Now, Jesse tells Jason that Kristen's going to approach him about something, and then you know, he like your what are your

He's like, what is it?

Oh God, what is it? And I thought thought at a moment, like is he really insecure or did he does he do something that can get him in trouble, because I know if somebody told Eddie like by the way, someone's going to confront He's like, bring it, I don't care, Like what could it be?

Say the same thing.

Yeah, he was really nervous about it, to the point when he found out what it was about.

You could see the relief.

Oh thank god, that's all it is.

Well some people, but like you know, some people don't like surprises, like like if you called certain friends, like if you called Teddy and said I have to talk to you, and she'd be like, no, no, it's got to be no, no, we know she's done nothing.

I've done that to her. I've done that to her. I've called her and I said, hey, I got to talk to you about something. You know, let me know. She was on a horse show, so let me know. When you're home and by yourself, and she's like, calls me immediately, Are you alone? Are you with your daughter? And she's like I'm with her, and I said just call me, like no, I gotta know now, I gotta know now. So some people are like that, but he was a he looked like a nervous wreck.

Well, that's the thing. Like, I'm not going to judge him by that. I could. I could, but not. Everybody says care free, don't give a shit as me, right, So I'm just gonna say that's probably more of annoy response than saying who cares? Yeah, yeah, I think me and Eddie are like brother and sister.

Yeah, I'm just used to Eddie. I don't give a shit what anybody says.

I I'm like Paul, I don't care. Don't tell me it's so funny.

You and Eddie are a lot of like Me and Paul are a lot of like just as so funny. So look and Christen sit down with Janet and Jason. Luke tells them about the rumor that's spreading. Jason's relieved that this is the rumor that's one hundred percent false. Janet pulls Jasmine over and she says she heard this rumor two years ago. I mean, now we're.

Jasmine again, right.

She likes to get in the middle of things, that's for sure.

Yeah, well you know, but not in a nice way. I don't think she was being nice to bring She's like, well, then she backtracked on the rumor. Well, it was two years ago, and I really don't believe it. Then, why you're bringing it up?

Yeah, well, because it's reality TV and that's what we do. And Jana's confessional, she says she knows where her husband is at all times because she puts an air tag on him. I think she was joking.

You know, you can't joke that. And you know what, if you want to put an air tag on your husband, go ahead, how about it? How about it? Go ahead? I don't care.

My husband would find it and throw it in the bushes.

I mean, it's there's something called an iPhone you can.

Jack, you don't people, I'll find my friends.

It's called Find my Friend. It's called Share your Location.

Live through sixty. So then Brittany pulls her friends aside to tell them about Jack's new condo next to Tom Schwartz. They tell her to get a lawyer immediately so she's not stuck with the fourteen thousand dollars a month mortgage.

Where does he get it? That's a fucking lot of money. Why so much? I don't see a house that that justifies that kind of mortgage in my missing.

I mean, their house is nice, and I don't know how much they paid for it. But it's just I would personally wouldn't feel comfortable with that amount of mortgage. I know people like to I'm weird even with I paid my car. I paid my bought my car with cash. Like, I don't like payments, especially big me either.

You're not me, I don't. I don't like you never know what tomorrow brings, so I don't like dat. I don't Now they have to worry about how are they going to pay this?

Yeah, so I just say, sell the damn house, finalize the divorce, and move on. You're gonna be much happier, that's for sure.

Then Jasmine and Britain sell it. Yeah.

Jasmine and Brittany go to jacks Is to meet up with Tom Schwartz, which Tom is just sitting there, going, I'm getting paid for this, right, I'm getting paid for this. You guys ton't really do anything. He just kind of sits there, kind of like when he went to Summer House. He's just there and he's there and he's smiling. And I like him a lot. I think he's a good guy.

But I like him. He's like like soft spoken and he's not nasty.

I think he's out of all the guys, he's the guy to marry Tom Schwartz.

It's really not a lot of choices here.

There's not a lot of choices. But Brittany puts a nap So they go to Jackx's bar. They get a little shady. Brittany puts a napkin over a frame picture of Jack's. Jasmine's getting involved. No, no, no, we're going to cover his face, and I'm like, okay, haw funny Schwartz has been texting with Jacks, who's making it seem like rehab has done wonders for him?

Oh my god, amazing, so much wonders. Yeah, I know.

Meanwhile, Brittany just found out that Jacks hasn't been paying their mortgage since May. It is now, this was filmed in August, so there's three months. So if you take fourteen thousand times three, that equals forty two thousand dollars owed. I don't know where she came up with it. I probably owe one hundred thousand dollars at this point, and it's going to ruin my credit all these these late fees.

I watched it. I couldn't sleep one night and their wedding was on and I watched it.

Oh yeah, you told me about that.

It was and it was like they did flashbacks then of before her life got dragged through the mud. So yeah, that's like I wouldn't want to watch the flashbacks of that.

Yeah, well it sounds like it's over. There's no hope of them getting back together. Hopefully they can co parent. Well, now Jacks. We see the previews for next week and Jack's is there, So Jax does come back there. I believe they're in Hawaii. So that looks like a good episode because this episode wasn't great. Sorry, it wasn't great. We have a few fan comments. Janet and Jason need to go. Janet needs one of your CBD gumbies. So that was it. So we will see them in Hawaii

They get a great cast trip? Is that the cast trip?

I think? So, oh my god?

And we got the Jersey shore always, oh my god, that's so nice. It's nice, love it. I know, so Ireland ones that we can't forget about the one time we went to Ireland.

That well, we went to Ireland. It was one of my most favorite trips ever, just because visually it was so beautiful, Like I'm like, oh my god.

Who wakes up in a castle every day? You know?

Castles and riding bikes through the countryside. Now, Hawaii I haven't been Hawaii in a hot, hot minute. It's been like I've never been, you've never been. No, how far is it? How far a flight? It's like a five.

Hour flight, eighteen hours or something.

Oh, no, wonder there's other place hours that's after after five hours, it's twenty four hours. You guys are you can go to like the Bahamas.

It's three and a half hours to the Bahamas. Yeah.

See, that's I'd rather do that. Okay, guys, thank you for tuning in and too. Yeah, and we'll see you next week in Hawaii.