Ugh, As If! (RHONY Recap)

Two Teas in a Pod with Teddy Mellencamp and camera je Edge.

Good morning, Tam, Good morning. Are you all dressed up?

Uh?

No, I just you know, I put on I put on a button down shirt and took a shower, so you know, things are really really rough. Lareen. Oh I am, I'm so formal? Am I looking clueless with your bob? No, you're not looking clueless? The bob, the white shirt. You know what, I don't even know that I've ever watched clueless? Will neither have most of the women who went to that party, including Jessel because what in the actual health she didn't even wear any of the clueless outfits?

I thought it from what I've seen, Is it like a lot of pink and like tweet and things like that.

No, these are the people that nailed it. So, guys, welcome to another episode of Two Teas and a Pod with myself and Tamra. We are recapping Real Housewives of New York season fifteen.

By the way, are clueless?

Who are who are clueless? But not watching Clueless? Tam is actually your homework assignment for tonight.

I might have watched it, but when did this come out?

In nineteen ninety five. I don't teach usber what I had for breakfast.

So this is probably the probably I probably have seen it.

Is that with Three Witherspoon. No, it's with Alicia Silverstone. But these are the people that nailed the outfits. SI nailed her outfit, brand nailed her outfit.

Wait wait, I was thinking, oh, what was cy wear? And remind me s I was.

Wearing the I was like velvet with the red collar. Oh yeah, yes, Dion wore that actual outfit. Aaron wore one of Alicia's Silverstone's outfits. And what about Jenna Lyons? Yeah, Jenna Lyons nailed it because she was she was the dad who was the lawyer, who was always on the phone. But she really she took that prop to the next level, like, oh my god, she did not put that phone down. Yeah.

I was like, come on, like, let's like she seriously acted like she was talking on the phone the entire time. I'm like, girl, isn't that brick in your hand getting a little bit? You know, arm's getting tired.

I have a question for you before we even get fully into this episode. Okay, one, would you throw such an elaborate birthday party for yourself.

No, No, I don't. Like, I'm not big on celebrations for me. I'm not a big like I don't want a birthday party. Like any joke that this year I had my surgery done two days before my birthday just so I wouldn't have to celebrate my birthday.

Yeah, I'm just not.

Really, it's not me. I have friends that celebrate their birthday for a whole month.

Yeah. I mean, I like to celebrate my birthday as much as the next person, but I most certainly don't like to plan it myself, which would include multiple costume changes. I feel like at this point, and I like, I you know, I think Jessel was great TV last year. I feel like at this point, she's now turned herself into like a cartoon character of who she is. Yeah.

I think that sometimes after the first season, people get too in their heads and then they start doing what they think that the audience.

Wants to see. Now, let's be honest.

The audience, when we talk audience at social media, because that's where we get most of our feedback from, is.

Crazy right now.

Yeah, they think what is good is bad, what's bad is like you can't even rely on them. It's it's bizarre world to me right now.

Well, I would like to implore everyone to please watch the dark side of reality that we talked about. But the shows that I forgot existed. Oh so it's not just housewives. No, So episode one is all about the Swan. Do you remember that show Harry was on the Swan? Yeah? Well I didn't realize that, but the Swan was. It was like they showed Terry. Yes, Terry did an interview, That's what I thought.

I thought I heard that, but his was like more of a was it? I would imagine his was more of a positive interview versus what Vicky says.

I mean, yes, all of I mean, as you continue. I mean, I watched I've beinge three episodes last night. But the concept of the Swan was they were ugly ducklings going in for a full life make up before they got married.

Right.

No, no, no, there was no marriage at the end. At the end, they had a pageant camera. Wait, wasn't there another show that Terry was on. Well he may have been, but this was not about marriage. You had. What they showed were these people that getting like fifteen plastic surgeries. Then they would be with a personal trainer working out with all of their bandages on all new teeth and new teeth and all. It is unbelievable, unbelievable. The first episode that I watched was on Swan The Swan.

I mean, it sounds like jail for them, I mean.

And then the third episode was Joe Millionaire and I I'm hooked, Like I can't wait to finish the pod so I can just keep watching these ups.

Well, okay, so the Cherry did have another show and it was called Bridal Plastic.

Oh well, I know I got those two confused.

I knew there was one where they were getting ready for the wedding or something like that, but oh my god, we should go back and watch those.

Oh, like, I it's guys, do what what other interviews did they get? I mean, they got a lot of interviews of the contestants that were on each of these shows. But the weird part about the show is like they're kind of each of the contestants are kind of complaining about the process, but then the coorse at the end, they all wrap it up in a nice boat. They're like, I actually wouldn't be where I was today. It was there.

I hear there's some bitter betties in there that are gonna Yeah, it's just sleeping. I mean, now, where can where can people watch this?

So I thought it somebody told me it was on Vice, but I couldn't figure out how to. I couldn't either, but I did just zip on over to Apple TV and pay nineteen ninety nine for the full season so I can continue on my binge session. Uh, guys, don't sleep on this. It's going. It's going. All of the things that.

Time that we have spent on this topic is insanity. I think that we need a separate podcast just to talk about pop culture.

I mean we I mean just to talk about past reality television shows. I mean and the fact that things people get mad about. Now. I'm like, go back and watch the Slawn.

Right, go back and watch early seasons of Vicky on the Housewives.

She offended everybody. I mean, it's bananas. Well, I guess we should get back to New York. It's to get back to them.

We haven't even started well because it's like.

Honestly, well, SI gets a new house upstate there there in the summers and weekends, and SI has decided it's time to take her mom out of the box in her closet and bring her upstate. I gotta love like the whiplash from Whole Foods is so expensive. I'm such a regular person. I'm planting my own garden. Side of Oh, look at our second house in upstate New York. I know, I know.

I mean, she's growing her own garden, which is great. I've been wanting to do that forever. I tried in Big Bear. The weather was too extreme. It's not easy to grow a garden. Even if you buy a damn tomato plant and put in your backyard.

It's not easy to keep it alive.

I don't even think I can keep in the watering in the sun, and it's a lot it's easier. That's why Whole Foods is so expensive.

Well. Also, I can't even keep like dead plants alive, like these are just like the I can't even keep me fake plans plans, but that I mean, I can't even keep an orcand alive, and they're supposed to be the easiest ones. Okay, Sosi is going to therapy.

Do you think her going to therapy has something to do with the show, because I felt like as soon as I said I was going to therapy.

But like, oh, you know, Jeff galling because everybody hates you.

I'm like, no, it's actually something that's been on the works for quite a while. Now. Did she has she said why she's going to therapy?

Did I miss that it was? I think it's probably because her mom passed away, Okay, And I think she probably watched back the show and saw some of her behaviors and probably wanted to make some changes. So I think when people say like it's because of the show, which is a good.

Thing, Yeah, actually watch yourself and behavior.

Yeah, yeah for sure. So whether she's doing it because she watched herself on the show and realized that she had some issues she wanted to work.

Through, Okay, I have some concerns. What I love Cy, I love her mouth, and I love how she does things.

And I'm like, don't become too calm. Well, what I did appreciate about Ci in this scene was. I feel like Ci and her husband have a natural, normal, good relationship and I enjoy watching it.

By the way, has her husband filmed before? Because I looked at him like as if.

He was a stranger. He asked before. He doesn't film a ton, But I mean even when this is his first time this season, right, I think his first time this season? I do not remember him from last year.

What?

No, did he only film a couple times or something? No, but every time he filmed he was very likable. Yeah, I mean he seemed likable. I'm not saying he's not likable. I just I'm like, who's this guy? And you know what, I sometimes get long nose hairs as well, so I felt understand.

I have a grey So I don't have gray hair that I know of, because blonde whatever, but I have a gray nose hair.

I have a lot of gray hairs, and they are esky little buggers. They are stronger than any other hairs. Why can't why can't gray hairs just behave the same way as other hairs. They have to be stiff, rough and mean, yeah they do. But then we get to Jessel planning a clueless themed birthday party. Jessel is going to dress as the main character share and have outfit changes.

Okay, because a nine to forty spray tan.

I can't even imagine that means you have to sleep smelling like that all night.

Well yeah, and I've done that before, but it I'm just shocked, Like, you know, you're filming and you're like, hey, I got a dip at nine because I have a nine to forty spray tan.

I mean, I think it's it's the ultimate like shade, Like, I can't even both. I'd rather get a spray tan than party jessel. Yeah, not great. Then we see a little bit of Jenna, who's now the editor in chief of the online fashion magazine, where everybody sat there and acted like they had no idea who she.

Was whatever, or they all were like a but I'm like, have you never met before?

It?

I like that. I also didn't know what editor at large met, so I did appreciate that they broke that down for us. I thought Editor at Large was just like I'm big time, but it's like I'm like the top editor. It's I'm so big time, I'm so Jenna Lyon's big time that I don't even have to show up into the office.

And that's why, that's why she doesn't know too many of the employees.

Yeah, I think a lot she just oversees. But she's excited to see the shoot aspect. She did plug her other businesses, which she has a lot and she's rich, and she has a fancy car and a lot of diamonds and she's rich. Well that's how rich people do.

They have a lot of different you know, yeah, things going on. They have startup companies, they invest their money in new companies. They do little things here and there.

Yeah. Yeah. But then Raquel goes to UBA's to see her art. Uba has been painting her own pieces. Uba immigrated to Canada at fifteen, started modeling, and then Uba struggled to book because every agent only had one black model. Uba says Brent told her she was going to be edited as an angry black woman. They're really setting up this, Brend is trying to produce the show narrative.

So basically, Brenn went to UBA's room off camera to try to produce her and but SI was the one making her upset.

I not really understand.

I can't understand this at all. And the thing, I had no idea that Canada was a place for models to launch their career.

Well, I didn't really understand probably any of the fights on the show this season. I mean, the thing is making sense. Also, you know what is not making sense? My fridge is full of fish no beef.

Is that like a saying or was she actually saying her frigerator was filled with fish?

Who said that? Uba said it? But then Uba said she ate all these lambs. I don't understand.

I thought it was like a like it meant something, my fridge is full of fish no beef.

Oh, I think she's saying like I'm not trying to fight. Maybe who knows, I've never said that saying. But then they talk a little bit about, oh, she's trying to say she has beef with people. Yeah, I mean, okay.

She has just a different way of a different analogy than a lot of people.

Yeah. I mean I think probably so do we. But I mean I don't know all the sayings out there, but I do know that once again, we didn't really get to learn that much about Raquel. Nope, not this episode.

Now.

I mean, we're on episode five, and I know that Raquel was once a model, and I know it's a motorcycle, and I know that Rebecca Minkoff doesn't drink on the show but drinks out off the show, and she has a baby she's nursing that has teeth. That's all I got out then, So we get kind of through this, not fully understanding the fight because clearly it happened off camera. And then we get to size plan to bury some of her mother's ashes and a new tree. SI gets

Yeah, No, I appreciated this scene. I like this scene when it comes to personal story stuff. A lot of times on housewives shows, I'm like, really, do we really care about this?

But this is really something that I thought was touching and sweet. But is it just me or a Si, the only one giving her real life right now so far, kind of feels like it. Well, No, Aaron is too.

Aaron's talking about her mom, who's got cancer and issues has been with you know, selling the bitcoin. Yeah, and I was just thinking like, okay, I want to be cremated, and I love cherry blossoms because that's what I had all over.

Our tables at our wedding reception.

So I want to be planeted under a cherry blossomed tree in the Bravo parking lot, and the Bravo parking lot everybody, to everyone that visits can spit on me.

I was gonna say, I don't know that you're gonna get a lot of flowers left there. Then Jessel, Aaron, and Brenn go shopping. Aaron says she saw a post of Si and Jenna. Aaron says it's bizarre and she can't stand the fakeness. Aaron says Jenna hasn't reached out to her once. Brennan says Uba has been crazy and Ci owes her an apology. Brenn says Si is a miserable troll who lives under the Brooklyn Bridge.

I don't I'm sorry, I just don't understand what their problem is with Ci and I just.

Well, it seems like this don't land because I don't even know what Aaron is mad about, and Bren's energy doesn't make any sense. What is mad.

Because she was good friends with Jenna and then Cy swooped in and now she feels like she.

Got kicked out of the cool girls club. That's the only thing I can think of. But I think I feel like maybe Jenna ebbs and flows in her relationships with the women, but like it really doesn't make sense because especially because Aaron later in the episode makes it seem like she's upset at Brent, like Bren is the

I know, it's all confusing, and I'm starting to think that they're fighting just to fight.

I'm starting to think that there's a complete situation that we're missing off camera because we also saw I mean, I saw this on the world Wide Web on Instagram. I don't remember where, but it's got to be true. Oh yeah, I mean everything on the web is true, but that the women couldn't even that someone got sent home early from the final trip and they had to be separated and Bob oh, Yes, Jessel.

Said that at the event in London, the Broadlo event in London, on a panel.

She said that, Yeah, I'm sure.

She said there's two people that won't even be around each other. Yeah, so have we not learned from Jersey people?

That doesn't work for somebody, there's always going to be a backlash. Then everyone arrives at Jessel's clueless party. Aaron tells Cy that Jenna is not an actual friend and she's done investing time. Sie says, Jenna probably has no clue. So this is what I'm confused about. I thought that you guys were mad at SI, but now you're confiding inside and then tell Jenna. Yeah, it makes no sense at all. Then Brent tells Jenna she and Aaron had a conversation and if she becomes buddy buddy with sigh,

If as if Jessel didn't tell every guest that walked in that she's got four outfit changes, but I only saw three. I only saw three two. Pavitt said that, you know, all these holidays are just bullshit from the reading card companies, and I kind of I'm not a I'm sorry, I'm not like big into like I don't know what's it?

What's a lover one? What's the lover one?

Valentine's Day one Valentine's Day and all these just like it's just another day people, just another date, and it's a day that makes people feel bad about themselves. It's like the birthday, not necessarily the birthday. But what Bobbitt was saying about all these you know, he was actually grewuping in a birthday into things like you know, Valentine.

I mean, our memory is so on point, like.

We I know, I can't remember anything right now. I'm so I have so much ado today.

But I do know that I remembered that none of these arguments made any sense. I also appreciate that the women paid no attention into trying to make this even seem like a fun party.

It didn't seem like it was a very fun party. The energy was very off.

But also what about when bren tells Rebecca she should have a drink and Rebecca thinks it's weird bren is constantly asking her to drink. Bren says Rebecca is boring and where fun goes to die? Do you understand Rebecca's perspective that bren is pressuring her to drink is weird.

I don't think that you should pressure somebody to drink that doesn't drink. And if she doesn't want to drink, I don't know. If it's maybe she just doesn't want to drink on camera and she drinks in her normal life and that's annoying to Brin or Brenn wants some excitement, or she wants to see she wants to see her in a different light.

I don't know what it is. But like, honestly, Brent, maybe just let the producers produce.

Didn't someone call you boring on your show?

Did they say it to your face? Was it suttin? Yeah? Then she said it to your face. She said you're pregnant and even worse, you're boring. Oh my god, do you respond to that? I was pregnant? And I cried, that's kind of mean.

I mean, what do you expect from a pregnant woman?

But she didn't even know me. And the reason that she said the boring thing was because there was like chatter about it because she panders to Twitter, and so she wanted to like get it to me and I, you know, it is what it is. She still has a job there and I don't.

So it worked, but we missed it last week's episode. But what did you think about briend coaching Rebecca and trying to plan a fight?

But I think that's that's the issue between this and now when we go back and we see that clip from last week of Brent trying to, you know, help coach Rebecca to cause other issues, it's getting tiring. But somethings I think it's a problem.

It's a problem with the show when you start doing things like that. It shows the camera doesn't lie girls, and they're going to show if you're making shit up or doing anything like that.

But I also think if you are a drinker and you're not drinking on the show on purpose because you're scared of what may come out of you, it probably means you got some pretty good secrets and some problems.

Well, it also probably means you shouldn't be on the show. I mean, if you have a drinking probably not drinking, that's a different story. But if you just don't want to drink because you don't want let your guard down, you know, one or two drinks whatever.

But yeah, I think that's the part that was pissing Brent off. Now, I don't think I think if if Rebecca was sober or saying I don't drink, but her issue is you're not being transparent to who you are. And I heard that when you're with your friends you drink, but you won't drink with us. But I mean, honestly, if I was a part of the Scientology church, I'd probably be scared to drink and share some of those secrets as well.

Right, do you think that we're ever we're ever going to hear anything about the scientology part of her life?

She said seven words so far. I doubt like part of her ten words this season it's going to be about Scientology. You're right. She didn't even dress in theme like and isn't she a fashion person? Shouldn't I don't know, I mean, do I think Brennan should be producing Rebecca. No. Do I think Rebecca seems like she doesn't want to be there? Yes? Yeah, and also it's like, no one's forcing you to be here. You you signed up? You said yes. She's probably having second thought. She's like, what

Aaron tells thank god Abe realized he's putting his foot in his mouth and said, I gotta shut this down. He was getting too involved in housewife chatter.

Abe, what are you doing? Yeah? He's like, I'm gonna shut my mouth.

I'm like, good idea, Abe, that is very is the smartest thing anybody's ever said in this entire episode.

Listen, Abe, you've already got stuck it yourself into it enough with the bitcoin mine, I.

Feel like Abe is like somebody that's always like he's go sit in the corner. Yeah, Abe, abe to a corner.

Abe behave. But then Aaron tells Jenna that herne Brend's relationship feels inauthentic. Jenna says she barely talks to anyone. This isn't a shock to me, which is goes back to my point. I think Jenna's going to talk to whoever she needs to to continue on on the show. And then Jenna tells Aaron she will reach out more and she'll get better at communication. But I mean, we we know we have a pro album. When a husband is the one trying to move a storyline along, I know, I don't know.

I just don't know what Erin is taking this out on Jenna when she should be talking to Brent. I like we've said we're missing something, something is not making sense. Erin, I feel like she's making something out of nothing.

Well, I think her feelings are hurt that you know, Jenna was all close and buddy buddy with her and then hasn't reached out now that she'ld sitting the fan for her. But also, Aaron, you can't tell every cast member who will listen how much you can't stand Jenna. And then when Jenna finally gets the guts to ask, say nothing is wrong, Like.

So do you think Brenn and Aaron are fighting over Jenna Lyon's friendship?

Is that basically it? But I don't get it because can't we all just get along? Can we all be friends?

Oh?

Yeah, isn't that how it works? That's how is one on one?

But this this she's mad the Brent swooped in, but then Matt sigh, and then Matt that they're sharing glam and then Matt like there's a lot.

Of glam people in New York. Like if this is going to cause.

Them funny, I couldn't find any everybody's busy, Brenda hooked me up.

The show just feels like everybody is self producing way too much. Also, if Aaron's problem is with BRN, why didn't you just say it to BRN? I kind of wish that they.

Would throw in some oh geez into the New York show.

This show is making me feel like is one plus one equal three? Like I think?

Yeah?

I just I think because you know, New York was around for so long and now just rebooting the entire cast is so difficult and so hard to get to know everybody. I wish that they could throw in, you know, Durnda.

But who could they even throw in?

And they could, But the thing is is they cast very young girls on this Durande Luanne Sonya. I mean they would woost that ship up. I'm telling you. I mean Jenda Lyons is the age you know of. I believe closer to the age of durand De Luanne Sonya.

But also I don't really understand bringing in new people and us never seeing them, Like just maybe if they would have just kept the original cast of an or no even just the original cast from last season, but bringing in Rebecca Raquel, is there someone else they brought into Like it just feels like, I don't know, we got we need something? Yeah, which is which we need? We need a few of the OG's.

I think personally, I think that it would be a good mix.

Well, Potomac did it right, Orange County did it right. Cold You.

Could you imagine Jorinda at that conversation. She'd be yelling at Aaron, what are you talking about?

That's what you said to me, That's what you said. What's her saying when she does clip clip clip, Yeah, I mean we need some action. We need some Dorenda on that show. We need some action. We don't need just makeovers and seeing everybody's new like new looks. I don't need to looks is not enough to carry a show for me.

Wow, it's new were we had episode five?

Yeah? How many episodes do they have?

No?

Just kidding? Is it twenty four episodes? Oh? No way, I'm like bullshit. Our producers just said, you guys, I can't with you both believing that there's twenty four episodes? Are both okay, we're gullible. We're gullible.

We have a lot going on. I'm New York for twenty four hours coming home. Then we have our live show. Guys, if you haven't bought your tickets yet.

Buy some tickets. We want to see you. And don't forget to listen to Twat's flashback because.

If you don't want to, it's okay, you don't have to.

No, no, you should go.

Back and watch me my first season on this show. And all I can think is why did they ever keep me? I? What are the hottest housewife that's wife in Orange County?

Oh? My god, it's out Thursday night. But you guys watched the show season three, episode one and two. Listen to Twat's flashback. Well, I can't wait to see you in person so we can insult each other face.

I know we have the first together and then then the following week we're going to the hotel to hang out.

I know, are we going to Mariah Carey?

I'm hoping we are. She's performing what's the name?

Yes, we're going to Carey? Oh my god? And so what is the name of them?

Yeah?

I can never remember. I see the signs when I go to Big Beer all the time and we're doing Can we interview Mariah Carey?

You think that she should be up for it. I'm hoping that she'll do a little in hotel room cribs for us.

She's like, who are you? She doesn't even know who we are.

She's like, I don't know you. Who did she say that about? Was it about Jennifer Lopez? I think, yeah, maybe we could ask j Lo. She'll come with us.

Yeah, you know what, we better chance of getting Matt Tamon and Ben Affleck.

The only person getting worse press than Tarama right now is Jennifer Lopez. I know, right, good, Oh my gosh, all right.

Well love, at least they're talking, you know, keep them talking, Keep them talking, They keep.

Talking, Mariah, when you listen to this pod, as I'm sure you do, we can't wait to talk to you that way. Don't wait to be on stage with you. Yeah, that would be that would be a party. Bye.

Yeah,