Hi, friends, It's Jennifer Fessler and Jackie Colchnight.
And we are too Jersey Jays. How's everyone doing? How are you doing?
I'm doing pretty good. A bit of a crazy sad week. I had a friend who passed. Oh I'm sorry, thank you so much. So yeah, that was really hard, but sorrow was for another episode, although actually not really because we're talking about social media.
Yeah, plenty of sorrow from social media. It's an interesting week too. Something that I didn't put on social media. I had to have a liver by Epcy this week. That was not fun. That was not fun. I did not put that on social media. And that leads us right in.
Yeah, right, because we're talking about well, in my humble opinion, and I'm talking about my own social media, my social media is a lie.
No, it's not really a lie. You do have genuinely good times and a lot of friends.
However, social media is not real, and again it may be for some. I'm talking about from my perspective and my own social media. That's not to say that I don't post from my actual real life, but what I represent on social media, I think that it comes off as I maybe even try to make it come off as my entire life, and it really is just a snapshot, a snap not only a snapshot happy stuff.
Of course it is. And that's the whole point of today, is that, you know, we talk a lot about the effects of social media on young people, right, but we don't talk about the effects of social media on middle aged.
People, right, particularly middle aged women, but actually no middle aged people, right. But it really does have an effect. I mean, how much time have you lost to deep diving on someone else's life on social media? Well, how about before that, how much time have I lost pretending about my own life on social media? So let me tell you. I'll tell you a story. So a few months back, the four of us, my family, we went to Mexico for a fabulous vacation, a week long vacation.
It was at the most beautiful resort, and we were obviously all psyched. I spent so much of this vacation posing. I spent so much of it taking the perfect pictures. I spent so much of it with my phone glued to my face. I spent so many dinners where we
were all on our phones. And then one of us would have the sense to say, guys, let's put our phones down, And so we would and we would have the appetizer, and then we would check our phones again, and then Mommy would get up and say, guys, I need to take a picture of Rachel you eating the crembrulet, and let's take a video of me dancing into the restaurant. So let me just say that all of that happened,
it was all fun. What I didn't show on social media is us arguing at the dinner table, even though it was a perfect vacation. What I didn't show on social media is me pitching a fit because no one wanted to sit in the shade and I wanted to sit in the sun. Or to my son, I don't like what you're wearing. Mom, I'm twenty three years old. I don't give two shits if you like what I'm wearing. You know all of that that goes along with it.
I don't air that you don't see that. Let me assure you that as wonderful as the vacation was, they were parts of it that were not so wonderful. And so it's it's just for me.
It's not real.
I think that I would love to blame it on the fact that I'm now a public figure or whatever you want to say, I'm not that jack Hint. Okay, I'm a star, but anyway, I'm not Jackie Goldschneider. I'm not. But what it doesn't matter that pressure of showing my life off and I think making it seem aspirational. I'm following the lead of other and most I think celebrities right, Like you know, I think that you can be real on social media. I think that you can talk about
your issues on social media. But what I see, for the most part, specifically from celebrities, also from friends and acquaintances, I see a lot of perfect lives. So I'm here to tell you that I think that social media is not real.
Well, I think that as middle aged women, it's particularly hard on us because we're already going through changes at this age. In this age group that add to you know, they just complicate our relationship with social media. So like when we're I think more prone because of our you know, changing hormones and changing looks, you know, and and the fact that, like we spoke about last time, we feel
a little less visible in society. I think that we're already prone to feeling a little more anxious and a little more depressed when we compare our lives to others. And that's exactly what social media does. It makes us, right, but compare our lives to other people, like we could look at other people who are in the same age group, and we say, have I accomplished as much as they have accomplished? Is my life as good? Do I go on? As many vacations do I have as many friends? Are
my children as happy? And really it's really causing alarming levels of depression. I mean, there's a lot of studies about this stuff and the results are really alarming. For that, women who are just adults, US adults who use photo sharing social media platforms are much more likely to report feeling depressed than compared to those who don't.
You know, did you see recently there was at Mark Zuckerberg and who else was there? There was a hearing and he actually apologized to a bunch of parents about to their kids who had done harmful things to themselves as a result of depression that they incurred from social media. So we're all so concerned about kids and the effects, right, And I'm here to tell you and I think Jackie, you are too. It has its effects on me.
It has.
Not such great effects on me. So let me also caveat all of this with saying that I'm not going off social media today. I am addicted to social media. So I think maybe the first step is recognizing that I have a problem, right, which I absolutely do.
Well, we're going to go through all the ways to kind of disconnect later, but like, how many times have you seen, for example, a couple that announces they're getting divorced and you're like, wait, what, your marriage is so perfect?
You just wrote on his birthday post Happy Birthday to the love of my life. There is no me without you, the perfect father, the perfect husband, my rock, right yeah.
And you're like, wait, I don't understand because everything was so beautiful, and I mean I feel like I feel like that's just emblematic of like so many things that I see so many times that even you jen like, I'll see you go to something and I'm like, wow, that's amazing, Like I wish I was there with her, and then you'll be like it was okay, Well, you know it's tired.
I think, right, well, I'm always tired and I'd always rather be home. Well, first of me say that my friends that are you know, outside of the housewives and outside of the whole, you know, public arena, They're like, Jen, you are so busy. You are on the go, because what do they see. They see me going out for the night to whatever social event with other people that
are also public figures. And then they see my next post, which is me going out with someone that they may know to a charity event, and then there's more me and I'm at you know, I'm shopping for fabulous things. So all of that is giving off this message that I am so busy and so fact.
Like I had a friend say to me, she was like, I wanted to see if you wanted to go out for drinks, but you're always every time I look at your Instagram, you're on a red carpet, And I'm thinking to myself, wow, because most nights I'm on my couch eating jello and pajamas, so you could totally call me right.
Well, and in my bed eating usually it's popcorn and ice cream.
But anyway, anyway.
Yeah, so that's the perception that I think I give off and that I'm trying to give off. But again, the first step is recognizing that you have a problem. So I'm here to tell you friends, that is not what my life looks like. And I think that it pours over not just into you know, seeing adults going places that are glamorous, uh and looking a certain way and you know, having the perfect marriage. It even I think it even pours over into look at my kid.
Oh so, and that starts, I feel like at a young age, so like neither one of my kids, just like Jeff and I neither won, are athletic, and they never were. And the constant barrage on social media forget about them seeing what they saw, but of me seeing you know, the accolades poured. Yay Joey, Joey, you know, got twelve home runs in the game, and Mandy just
won the Gymnastus competition. There's nothing wrong with that. I'm not saying that, you know that you shouldn't be able to share fabulous things about your kids, but sometimes the effects of it. And then let's like, let's move on to bar and Bob mitzvah. Let's move on to and my kid made Honor Roll this year, and congratulations to my straight A student who's going to Duke, and wow, sammy just got into law school, whatever it is.
I'm so proud all of that is.
I'm not.
It's fabulous news, right, and you want the people that you love and their children and to be happy and do wonderful things. But it does provoke a certain feeling of maybe inadequacy sometimes. You know, I wouldn't change a hair on either one of my kids' heads, and I know you wouldn't either, But this whole game of you know, look at me, I am wonderful, my marriage is perfect, my kids are gorgeous, and it's a I think it's a setup, and I think it's a lie because you know,
when was the last time you posted I don't know. Uh, my kid got caught cheating in school today and he has a three day you know, he has a three day suspension. Go me like, it's not you know, we'll skip right over that part. You know, there's a million things that go on with your kids, with your husband, with your significant other, with your friends.
Right. I mean evident I don't fight a lot, but when we do have a fight, I'm certainly not putting that shit on social media. Absolutely not right. Also, I think, aside from people faking their social lives, marriages, and children, like how perfect it is. The face tuning is out of control. Oh my god, it's out of control. I mean Chloe Kardashian last week face tuned her cat. Did you see that?
She face tuned her fucking cat. The whiskers came off. My cats are so ugly. There's not enough face tune this old to make them look good. I love when face tune actually comments on people's I never saw that. Oh we're telling me about that, yeah.
But she I mean like people don't even look the way that they're that they're portrayed. I mean, and I'm not talking a tweak, because we all tweak. I don't, yes, no, I don't. I sweak. If I send to.
My PR people and they want to post something, they look at it sometimes and they're like, whoa tweak this? I personally don't know how to tweak, and I don't want absolutely not. But I also feel like it's like I'm on TV. The gig is up, like you're gonna see me. So I mean, what is the point of pretending to be you know, smooth and uh and perfect and because guess what in about what four months you're gonna see I'm not wait, but.
So, so, how does it, like, do you find yourself getting depressed? Ever?
I find myself getting depressed without social media, so yes, But with social media yeah. And not only do I get depressed, I get mad.
I get mad too. Can I tell you when I first moved with this was going back fifteen years. But when I first moved to my town, I really wanted I came from the city and I had no friends in my town, and I wanted a friend group, right, And like, I made a few friends, and I didn't definitely didn't have anyone super close and I did not
have a friend group. But there was this group of moms and they would go every summer to the Hamptons together for like a week, and I was always I would watch what they did on social media, and I would see all their good times and their dinners and their parties and their late nights in the house, and I was just I was angry that I wasn't a part of it, even though I didn't even know them. I was angry. I was sad for myself. I wanted it.
I was jealous. I mean all of that. It's very different now for me, but god, I mean I just couldn't stop watching these people. I didn't even know them.
Yeah, I can watch people's posts and literally feel like this anger bubbling up, and I it can be because I think they are showing off. I think a lot of it comes from, obviously my own insecurity. I can see the way people that I know are representing themselves and I don't feel like it's real. But why would I give a shit? I don't know why, but I do.
I know I understand because it makes me. It annoys me too, Like there's the one person in particular who's always just posting the most egotistical shit, and I just look at these posts and I'm like, God, get over yourself, and that like it annoys me so ben, then I have to be like, why are you annoyed? Let everyone do that. Yeah, but guess what I post egotistically shit? Yes I do. I don't post it. I'm not obvious. I don't think I'm obvious about it.
And I like to be self depreciate and I'm gonna really work harder on showing some real some of my like real life on social media.
But yes I do.
Look at me at this party, look at me at this concert, look at me, and maybe there's nothing wrong with it, but I think that when I watch others do it, I start to compare and it's not healthy. How about this, how about when it's there's someone's birthday, it's not for me. And I'm on Instagram now way more than I am on fa on Facebook. But for Facebook, that is how I remember birthdays, right, Like you know everybody's birthday, People that you went to kindergarten with, you
know their birthday. The birthday post is the biggest bummer. I I cannot tell.
You how much I hate the birthday post. And well, you know when people post for your birthday, No, I love that.
I'm talking about like posts for everyone's birthday and you know what, it's year in and it's year out. The people I love, they absolutely know that I love them, and I have to declare my love. And I have to go back and find pictures from nineteen eighty three and I and I have to make a call oph I don't make the clauses anymore and profess my love and tell them why I am over it. Like how about just calling your friend, hi, baby, happy birthday, I love you.
What are you doing today? Let's go to lunch. How are you feeling?
Instead, it's now you have to do the most Jane Doe. For twenty five years, I've loved you. You are so individual and strong, you are my everything you are. It's just so gaggy, Like I'm so tired of it, and you do it because guess what on your birthday.
You want to hear about it? Yeah, well you want declarations of love, life hack, going to your h your albums and groll to the same day last year and just repost that shit.
I have done that, but like it really to me, I hope not to everyone, but like how many And you're looking all day long it's your birthday. You're missing your fucking birthday because you're looking. I know how Maybe I commented how many people said, that's.
Favorite part of my birthday? Is social media? Really said yeah? Because not only do I read into I don't like my birthday. I'm one of those guys I hate my birthday, but I read into like, if there's enough love given, did you give me as much love as you gave your other friends? Like I I look at who didn't post for me? Like I just I hate the social
media of it all. But let's talk about being on a reality show and the social media that comes along with that, because that is a shit show, and I will let me let me just put a disclaimer that there's a lot of good things that can come from social media, you know, the networking, the reconnecting, the being able to share memories of your family, all of that stuff is can be good.
To think about how much information, guys, I need a p diatrist, right, like you know, I'm on like Upper Side River Moms or even not like anybody you guys, I need a little bit of your input on whatever issue it is that I'm facing, and it is very helpful and also can be so supportive and loving. Right, But when you are on a reality show, what I have.
Found is that because you're on a show about your life, social media feels free to dissect your life and comment on your life, of course, of course, but in very very cruel often, you know, just really mean horrible ways.
And not only individual people, but there's a whole network of bloggers that just tear your life along and post very sometimes not true things about you, and sometimes it ends up in print, and sometimes the entire Internet is reposting it and I will tell you there's you know, being on a reality show is amazing sometimes, but those moments when the whole internet is commenting on something about your life in a negative way, there's nothing worse for me. Nothing.
When you sign up for a reality show, you know you live in the world. You know that you're going to get critiqued on social media at some point, right, and so you know you signed on the dotted line. Too bad for you. Well, the thing is that you do know it, You've seen it happen. But there's a little part, well at least there wasn't me that thought, you know what, Nah, they're.
All going to like me.
Everybody's like, you sign up for it, and you think, well, I'm not going to do anything that would make people not like me.
You just have to breathe. I know, but you can't do it. I mean the season that I had that there was that whole rum where about Evan. The social media was so bad with people weighing in and whether or not my husband was cheating. I mean, my husband's the best guy ever. I had no doubt even for
a second that it was nonsense. Like I couldn't stop the like brage of comments and articles and blog posts and YouTube videos and it was just NonStop every day, and I was in such a black hole of like I couldn't see straight from all the social media and I didn't want to see it, but I couldn't stop checking it. It was awful and a lot of times
the bloggers. There was one blogger I can think of and I won't name any names, he went after me for years, just crucified me, just hated me, and would just say the meanest, most horrible thing me and I just couldn't do anything about it. And sometimes I wonder, like if they ever feel any regret when they're posting negative shit online about you.
That I can't tell you. I think that that's part of their job. It is to be shady. And guess what, We're on a reality show and we're shady and we say nasty things and for the public to consume. So you know, it's just it's it's a different world with social media. And again I signed on the dotted line, and I knew what I was signing up for, and I just we just you know, wrapped our second season. So I did it again, and I'm expecting more negativity, and you know, it's at any point nobody is holding
a gun to my head. I could say I've had enough, but I've signed up.
For it again.
But I look at some of these reality stars that have been doing it for so long, and they've gotten so much eat and I wonder myself, like, how is their skin so thick?
They don't care?
How is that possible they keep signing up again and again.
I don't know.
I don't know, but all of this has definitely taken its toll on my mental health. I believe the life the mental health of my family. I don't just mean since I signed up for Housewives, I mean in general. And we know this, you guys. This is not news that social media is the devil, and yet I'm addicted. There are parts of it I love. I'm part of the problem, and I can't line say after we wrap this podcast, I'm not.
Going to continue.
It's, you know, but again, first step admitting you have a problem, you guys. So we have something very special today, and I'm very special. So when we were talking about the podcast, we were talking about what about getting uh, getting some information and some opinion from the other side, right from people that are interviewing celebrities, from people that are writing stories, writing stories from right, people who are on red carpets and have to ask questions that are uncomfortable.
And when you know, we were thinking of people that we would want to join us, there are these two people who are in my mind that I know, Jack and yours. They are the gold standard. And they are the gold standard because I don't know and I don't know how they pull it off. They bring up sensitive topics, they bring up gossip, they bring up drama, and yet they do it in a way that is respectful. I've never seen them be anything but respectful and kind. And
I doesn't know anybody who doesn't love them. I don't know anybody who doesn't love them.
And the kicker is they're part of Page six, which is very very big, which is not, you know, historically a news site that everyone loves.
Right, So as we were like trying to figure out who we'd want to bring on, we thought, what a fabulous, what a fabulous way to talk to two men and to find out how they do what they do, which cannot be easy, and how they do it in such a glorious way.
Yeah, but also if it affects them like if they ever ask them some questions. So let's bring them in. We have Evan Reel and Danny Murphy from page six. Hang on, let's bring them in.
Oh hi, hi girl, Hi guy.
Guys. This is such an honor and such a pleasure.
Oh my god, They're so honored and we're so excited to chat with you. Guys. We miss you.
We miss you too. And guess what, we're going to turn the tables.
I gonna flip any tables, but we are turning them. Yeah, we've got some questions, are you guys?
Wait?
So can we start by telling us exactly what you guys do?
Okay? So Danny and I are the hosts of Virtual Reality A podcasts at page six. It's all Housewives, all Bravo, all reality TV, all the time. And then I'm also a senior TV reporter and Danny is a senior social media editor. I got that right correct, Yes.
Yeah, I've senior editors.
So I oversee a lot of the page six Social strategy and everything over there are going on across all the platforms, So we like to keep a little bit.
Busy over here.
You guys, I know that anybody listening if you follow you know any hot topics or pop culture. You know these guys anyway, they really don't need an introduction because they're everywhere. They're on every at carpets, there on every Internet page.
They are.
It just they are sort of like the heart and soul of talking to well for us Bravo celebrities, but more than that.
Yeah, all the reality shows.
Yeah, so you guys, we want to ask you some questions. We'd like some insight. It can't be easy to do what you do. So first of all, before you started working with Page six, were you guys big into pop culture? Were you following social media gossip columns? Was that something that you were passionate about.
Yeah?
For me, growing up, I feel like the time I was just like going like growing up high school, college. It's where like internet and blogs are really like just booming, and they were kind of like a fun new way to be engaged with what you.
Like to watch on TV or the interests you have.
Because when the internet's great, it's like you can have common interests with people that you don't see every day, but you can like start to build relationships that way. So it's like really fun where you start to find
like little like fangroups and stuff like that. Of course we now know sometimes those can get they have pluses and minuses, But I feel I just really gravitate to being such an online person who loved just like keep up with everything and just really always like to like learn more and know more about pop culture because for a while it wasn't really seen as like a very legitimate thing to want to like focus in or talk about. But it kind of has changed into being more of that, which has been great.
You guys are younger, that's certainly to me, the three of you. But we used to call it water cooler talk. That's when people actually went into the office. Now everybody's virtual, but it meant that, like Monday morning, everybody would gather around the water cooler and talk about either it was some show or it was, you know, the latest gossip. But nobody needs a water cooler anymore.
Yeah, right, Evan. How about you?
So I'm a little bit older than Danny, and I feel like those extra three years kind of made a difference because I became interested in pop culture and entertainment news, like like when my mom was like still picking up like in touch and people in the grocery store and like my whole thing, like my my number one pride and passion is Britney Spears. So I was very much into the whole like two thousand and seven, Britney Paris Lindsay tmz X seventeen, like that whole thing, and I
was like, that is what I'm gonna do. I'm gonna do celebrity news and I'm going to talk about Brittany all day every day, which I do in my free time. But when I started interning at Okay magazine like ages ago, I get there and I start and they're like, hey, can you like just like do some research about teen Mom And I'm like, teen mom, teen mom.
Like girl by I was like, this is how bitch. Yeah.
I was like, this is not what I signed up for. Cut too. I became like a massive obsessive teen Mom fan.
And I had been into the Real Housewives when it first came out in like two thousand and six, so then it was weird they like they loved teen Moms, like the cover for like twelve covers in a row when I first started, and then I remember our first Housewives cover was like a Kyle and Kim cover and then that did really well for Okay magazine, and then all the weekly is started to cover the housewives at nauseum, which I was all about. I was like, finally you
guys have tapped into real houses. And then the internet became a thing when as Danny was born. Yeah, when showing off, It's been really cool to see how just the franchise and the Bravo world has exploded on that. You know, now these like pop culture Instagram pages are They're like legit news outlets. I'm like, oh my god, yeah, cocktails have it? I better look into it, right.
Crazy Bravos on the Pulse.
Yeah, day, do you ever struggle with an assignment? You guys have a job to do. I mean, this is what pays the rant or the more or get you whatever it is. So you have a job to do. And I'm assuming you both have bosses and people to answer to. So do you ever cringe.
And you know or feel bad? I don't want to do that. I don't want to ask them that.
It's funny when you say like bosses because I feel so many times and you guys probably now know this from doing your own podcast and just being public figures yourself whenever you post me like I feel so many times, the bosses are the listeners and the audience and the viewers.
A lot of that's interesting. Yeah, that's interesting.
I just had a I don't know, Lindsey Hubbard from Summerhouse. I was just chatting with her, and of course she had a very public engagement to disengagement, a lot of stuff that she's been saying, her ex Carl has been saying, and just people have been saying about it. And she was coming in because the new season of Summerhouse is coming out, She's obviously obligated to promote that season, and we're like having a fun chat about, you know, like
how she's been and everything like that. But then I'm like, I know, and because I'm curious how she's doing. But also I know that if anybody watches or listens to this, and like I don't bring up that she separated, they'd be like, well, what are you even doing here? Why are you wasting our time? Because they're curious about that because it is like a major thing that's going on.
And then what I like about it too is that it gives I know, Lindsay sitting with me, I want her to be able to say whatever she wants to say her piece, Like if I can pick up if she's like I'm doing well, she don't want to talk about I'm not going to.
Be like, well, what does well mean?
It's like I like to follow the vibe, but I want to make sure I at least try to do my part to give her a chance to or anybody a chance to talk about what they want to talk about, while also giving the people.
You guys are so good at that. Yeah, like Kelly Roland recently, like she is, she did not want to talk about Beyonce on the Today Show, right, and whatever happened after that? But I get that, right, it's like my own stuff to talk about.
Well, but you have to ask so for you, its like, have you ever done a story or interviewed somebody and the reaction was really negative to that person? Have you ever like does that affect you? Do you feel bad?
That is a really good question because it does affect me.
Like I am paying attention to the reactions and responses to my interviews because I'm like, I'm personally interested if this story resonated with the audience, and I will say, like it was it was kind of tough interviewing Brandy Glamville last fall about the fallout with Caroline Manzo, because yeah, Caroline Manzo is someone who's done our live shows, and Caroline Manzo has made some pretty intense claims against Brandy, and obviously, like sexual assault is like such a serious issue,
So it was like kind of tough knowing how Caroline feels and the accusations she's made, while also sort of creating space for Brandy to share her side of the story because they both feel like victims in the situation, and the fandom is very polarized with people either supporting
Brandy or people supporting Caroline. And I think that, you know, both sides make pretty valid arguments, but it was like a tough place to be in the middle because the accusations against Brandy, which we don't know if they're true or not. She claims this Caroline claims us like they're pretty sordid and not cool. It was just it was I left that interview feeling or not not the interview. I had a nice chat with Brandy, I left that whole experience feeling just a little uneasy and uncomfortably.
To you, man, that cannot that has to be so hard and what about if you think Danny wants to add something.
Yes, I was gonna say. That's also the hard thing that it comes across because a lot of times, of course, when you're talking like the pop culture space, some of it it's like very fun or like can be silly, like for like Ronny lat Season when it's like, oh my god, she's gay, and like they're fighting over parmesan and like that's start Genifester yourself shoving mazzarel in your face. Like you have those like really fun moments you can
go on. But then a lot of times, not always to the extremeness of braind and Carolyn, but then you have people that are dealing with things where it's like a long term friendship fallout, a divorce, people like losing the money help things where it is more of a delicate dance to have that conversation. And also it's a hard thing too where you hope people it doesn't always happen, but you hope people interpret it and digest it with
a little more severity than the lighter stuff. But that's where also when people consume things, they don't really have all the different levels of consumption too.
Interesting.
When I was at Bravo Con, one of somebody who runs a page that is very popular and folks on Bravo and Housewives was sharing with me that he was really nervous because one of the women from one of the franchises, they were at a table close to where we were sitting. They already approached him. They had already given him shit. They were pissed at whatever he had talked about. So and he's there and he asked to
face them now again, you two. I have no idea how you pull it off, but as I can't imagine anyone would have ever been upset with you guys over you know, something you said or the way that you treated him. I mean, Evan, did you ever have anybody that came at you?
I mean, uh, come at me. I don't know if I would classify it that way, but it is like a really difficult dance because the thing is like I feel like whenever Danny and I talked to someone or have them on the podcast or talk to them on a carpet, like we are giving them the space to be the queen, Like we hand them the scepter and the tr and we're like, this is your space, queen,
do your thing. I will say one thing that an interesting incident that happened was we had Sutton do our live show in September and she made a joke about
Erica Jane's ticket sales. Now months prior, I participated in Erica Jane's bed at All on Blonde press Day and we did this whole like wonderful interview at the Live Nation headquarters and I told her how like I found myself a fake ID when I was eighteen years old to see her open for Kim Zolciak at a gay club before any Bravo fan knew who she was.
Wow, Wow, she knows.
I am like an OG fan and I have spent time, money, and dedication to see her performed live, like I really am a fan of her music. But Sutton made fun of her music after the fact, or made fun of her residency ticket sales after the fact at our live show. And then we saw Erica on the carpet up Bravo Con and she didn't just like skip us, she like stumped past us, and I just I connected it there. I was like, okay, you're.
Mad at us giving She's so glamorous. It was such a good like she almost dance pies.
She's a great house one.
Did you guys talk about it? Like why were you like, well, hello and goodbye Erica Jane.
We didn't really acknowledge it. I didn't want to. I didn't want to believe that it was really happening. But then I like we processed it later and I'm like, oh my god, she's totally mad about the Sutton situation. And it's like that's a tough thing too, because like obviously without naming names, like Danny and I have our favorites and we have our strong relationships and we have the girls, like I mean, we will name you guys, like we love you guys so much.
But then like you're on our show, you better.
Then like you have your favorites, and then you talk to their mortal enemies and then you're kind of like wondering like, oh my god, like what are they going
to think of? You know what I mean. So it's it's like interesting, like for instance, like you Jackie, like we were so excited to see you on the carpet I bravokhon and then Margaret Joseph's come by and we have to talk to her but I feel like what I will say about you and Margaret is you both do a really good job of like not letting that impact your relationship with like press, which I find.
So No, I don't even really I mean, I would never hold it against like she did an interview at the People's Choice Awards the other day. She said some nonsense about how I've changed, and I'm not the person that she thought. I like, it's all nonsense, and I don't even get a chance to respond to it. But I don't pay attention to like who she's saying it to.
I only know what she's saying. I mean, I pay attention, but I'm not holding it against of course the person that she's saying that nonsense too, which, by the way, I will do.
Yeah, we'll say, we'll say yes, I have not We're not going there today anyway.
So Danny, what is just tell us like one Rose and Thorn.
I feel the Rose is definitely me and Evan love getting the chance to talk to all of like women like you and guys from Brava where it's just these like really fun layered, complex people and getting to show we always hope that we can show the people who listen or read the interviews we do the side of that, like the true person behind the person they see on TV, you know what I mean, to let them know it's like you and Colm, obviously we're gonna ask you or
ask anybody about the drama going on in the season because or the show that they're on, because that's like what I'm sure also they want to talk about because it shows that it's like the real life things and just getting to know everybody a little bit better. So that's definitely the rose and the thorn I feel like, and it does happen where I'm sure it even happens for you guys too, where it's like I have to
go to dinner and now dinner is work. Where it's like watching these shows are fun, but having to watch them like from a work point of you, because I can never just housewives and just now and shehlle and have a great time like so many people love to watch it, right, Okay, watching it almost like having to take like little bits of notes here and there'll be like, oh, what's going on, what's happening? And like and also getting in a way where like when people are fighting, I'm like, oh,
but I love them. Yeah, something like that. So there's like ups and downs for everything.
To So Evan, do you have you experienced any vitriol and social media like personally and it doesn't have to be you know, due to what you do, but have you, like as an adult male, does it affect you the way that affects us? Because we were just having a whole conversation about like about the dark you know, the the holes that we go down where we watch other people's lives and we're seeing who's going out without us or you know, how perfect people's lives look.
Does it affect you, guys the way does like a middle aged woman, oh hunch of percent.
I mean I maybe it affects me even more like I I yeah, it's social media can definitely be like a very toxic place, and when you find yourself in a hole, it can be hard to yeah, all out of it. But like in terms of like work stuff, it's tough when like you interview someone and then like they accuse who you interview of like paying page six to like spin this narrative or whatever. Like it's just like that's so like certain fandoms will come for me and tweet at me and it's just like guys, like
I'm just doing my job. It's like not that serious. These conspiracy theories, like they're not real. No one's paying anyone, there's like no hidden agenda whatsoever. But then of course, like we don't really I feel like I don't really get a lot of like the like hate that you know a reality star would get in terms of like looks and like that whole thing. Right.
Literally, even just did this really fun video with canvas from Potomac and he was like, I was like, oh my god, this looks so good. You look great. It was so fun. He's like, but this pimple. I was like, I watched you for seventeen minutes. I didn't see a fucking pimple ruined the video.
I'm like, no, it didn't.
Wait ahead, I have a question a little bit off topic, So in terms of like comparing our lives to other people's in the housewives the world, it's very easy to get lost in doing that. The New Rony, why are they getting every fucking opportunity under the sun. I mean, like they are brand new, and like I'm happy for them, but like they Jackie for a while and now it's not killing me. I'm just very curious, like they are at every exclusively. Yeah, they are hosting the Oscars this year.
I mean like not really, but like they are getting everything what is going on.
It's funny you say that, Jackie, because I actually had a very similar thought the other day. I was like, wow, like these girls like they're killing it. Like Jessel was on the cover.
Of Rolling Stone. Oh oh, Jessel was on the cover of Interviews. She was in Rolling Stone magazine. I mean, like, I'm lucky if I get into like us online.
If I were to guess, I think unfortunately, because like we live in a bit of an age of society. I think it's because they're younger. I think they're they're New York City. New York City is seen as like very like aspirational and stylish, so it's like young aspirational fashion. I think that's why they're getting I mean, I think that's.
So you're saying the old chicks from Jersey should not hold their breath.
I'm just saying unfortunately, Like, yeah, I think if I had to like pint it on anything, it would be like a little bit of like agism and the fact that they are like younger and they're just like shiny new toys in a way, not saying taking it away from them. I want to see Jessela and Brynn on everything and everywhere. I'm just saying I think that's probably like where it's rooted.
I think that's in New York.
Everyone is just always like you hear, like New York, New York. God, you just instantly where it's like. And they probably every event is in the city where I'm sure it's the first people where they're like, I've done then, but you're like, no, I.
Mean, I'm happy for them.
Listen though, I mean I look at like Teresa, who is just on Name that Tune last night. I mean she's Teresa is a one. Yeah, she is everywhere Jimmy Fallon.
I mean, she's been doing this for fifteen years. Correct.
But I'm saying these are these girls are shiny and new. Teresa is iconic, right, So I think there's probably somewhere there's it's going to happen that these girls are not so shiny and not so new, and we'll see who becomes iconic, you know, I think a Lisa vander Pomp for instance, or a who are the icons the ogs Meani, they're always gonna get Starne.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. So so you know, I just want to know, Like, I know what you're gonna ask. No, go ahead, what am I gonna ask? Who's your favorite friend of a housewife? It's always jenfessor everybody stuff. It's cheeky, it's an idea, Okay, can I ask you this? Don't you think that the friend role has been completely redefined. I think there are some of the most iconic people on I'm not talking about me and Jen, but I'm
talking like, no, I have no idea. Sometimes people will to I have no idea, who's a friend, who's a housewife? Who's not? Like I didn't even know that Marisol was a friend of until this year.
Well it's interesting to say that because I just had a breakfast with Julia from Miami this morning and we were talking about that. I was like, when are Adriana and Marisol and Kiki gonna get mohitos? Because they film like they are full time, and you know, last season, like I felt like you guys both interacted and participated as if you were full time too. So I think that the friend role is definitely expanding. I also think that it's becoming more important to each franchise. It's actually
kind of like a nice sweet spot for people. And I'm sure you guys have experiences like you're involved, but you're not like too involved, like you can be drama but like yes, like cameras inside your house really, so it's like, I don't know, it's kind of like the best of both worlds.
In mine.
Told me that she was like, I prefer like being a friend. I prefer like dipping out, and like it's kind of like in a way up to you guys what you show, right, and is that kind you know?
It definitely is. They don't come to this season. I got dragged into so much nonsense.
I don't mean but I don't mean interactions with other housewives. I mean the coming into your home taking a look at what's going which.
Because you know, Evan and my kids needed a yeah, you know, four teenagers, they wanted their own space.
And I feel that's what Marioso says.
She loves the friend of world because she's like, I don't want to like bring everything into She's like, I like to go have her cockies have a great look amazing and then had out.
Yes, did you guys pick up on. By the way, we're completely off of social media, but I'm done with that, so anyway, but did you guys, Now I just want a gossip, So anyway, did you guys pick up though? On the finale? It was the finale last night of Miami, and you know they usually do at the end.
But don't ruin anything for anyone, because not everything at all.
How they did the friend of like wrap ups first and then everybody else.
Yeah, they never do the friend of wrap ups, right, guys, they do. They're the friend of Nobody gives two shits what they're doing at the end, but they always do. You know, Oh, they did a friend of wrap up.
Yeah, they were like, I won't give it anyway.
But Adriana they do the you know, she freezes and then now Adriana is uh dating Amelio Estevez and or whatever. I'm just teasing, but you know they tell what happens sort of after that, and they did it for the friends.
Oh yeah, I wonder if the other franchises will follow suit, because I mean I personally loved it. Also, they did the finale at Adriana's event, so like, right, the fact that they like leaned on a friend to right finally, I mean says something. And I know that obviously Jersey and Miami have a different production company behind That's why
they're doing things a little bit differently. But like, I would love if they would highlight the stories of friends of on every franchise because obviously there's iconic friends of on New Jersey, but like even Atlanta has historically had like amazing friends like marlow for so yes, yes, I don't know the give the friends of the great their light.
So when Danny and Evan and I were in con and I know people say, can's con I'm never going to get it right, one of the best days of my life.
But whatever.
Having said that, we came up with the idea that there she be an ultimate friends trip.
I would love that.
I mean, calm on, I want you to picture that. It's like how many friend well, Marlowe became a housewife, right, I mean, there's a.
Lot of housewives that were friends first then, I mean was a friend first. No one even remembers that she was a friend her first season, and it's so sad, right, Like there's a lot that blurred the line. So I think if you were ever a friend. Yes, Perfect Perfect.
Was a friend for a season and has a scripted development deal with NBC. So like, yes, you never know amazing friends, But I do think that a friend of a girl's trip would.
Be amazing if you put the right people.
Yes, yeah, Jersey, I feel like, thank you put Marisol. I know she already did it with a Lea, but Marisol and Adriana together on a girl Yes, Kiki, that'd be love. They probably would need Kiki so that they don't whether it's.
Oh Taylor Taylor, I'm strong, she's a party. I like, yeah, tailor. Okay, So here's my question, and you don't have to answer if you don't want to, but I would love for you to answer. Going back to social media, which Bravo star face tunes herself the most.
Shd Okay, let's see it.
Could be a past one. I mean taking Patti Sanger out of it because it's just out of control. She doesn't even cow she's in the strongsphere.
You know what's so crazy about Patti Sanger is like I have seen her in real life like she does.
She's a beautiful woman, but she does not need.
All of that face tune. Patty out of the equation. I don't know who comes to mind, Danny.
Every person I know who face tunes so much is like what we were saying, like gorgeous in real life to the point where I'm like, I would I would face to myself to look like you. I would say, hold. Most seems to be Lisa Hawksne from Miami, and I said that, yeah, he comes into paid sex stunning in like the mooglair body suits, high heels, bag her hot new boyfriend with her in toe. So I'm like, what are you face, I'm.
Like you, I would, well, like Lisa is out of control, and also because I call her face tuning out of control because like Danny said, like she is a stunning person in real life and then on Instagram she looks like an AI character.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, she does cartoon.
It's crazy because she really is the girl. And even like in the in the trailer or the teaser for the Miami reunion. I don't know if she's gotten something done recently, but she looks especially refreshed and beautiful.
And she looks at one of those blow up dolls you order, Well, I don't. I don't order them.
Maybe I do sex episode face turning? Who from the Jersey cast do you think facetunes the most?
We can't do that. We're going to get in so much trouble. But I have a you know what, I'm gonna be honest with you. We all do. Jack says, there are some that do it to a ridiculous extent. And I won't say her name. There's one that like, well, like if you post a picture and she's not face tuned to like the n's degree is like, take it down, take it down. She'll like, have you gotten that to take it down? I have a feeling I know who you mean, but I'm not going there. I've had to pull pictures down.
I will tell you that I don't know how to face tune. So so first there's that I can't for the life and me figured it out. But also I was saying earlier to Jackie, like like you're gonna see my real face, Like there's only so long that I can hide it for I'm gonna be on the TV screen, so.
Liar, liar, pants on fire.
But I will also disagree with you guys that everybody is stunning. I was very surprised at probably.
Yeah for sure. Yeah, sorry, I was like, wait, wait, wait, what what.
That's so funny. I feel like whenever I see people in person, I always think that they are prettier. They're either like taller or shorter, or they're just like.
Sometimes you know, people say to me wow when I meet someone in real life and they're like, are you Jackie, And then they'll be like, wow, You're prettier in person, and I never know whether it's an insult or not.
I'm always like, thank you, like I'm not sure you know, I mean, I don't know, but I think like eventually, yes, go on.
I feel that's people like not knowing what to say, you know, and then they're probably like, what the.
Fuck is.
Yeah? I love you guys so much much the most fun.
Can we just say one more time that I'm kudos to you and respect for doing what you do and doing it in such a kind and respectful way. I don't think I've ever heard either one as a matter of fact, and I won't. I'm not going to name
names or even the event. But I got jack a text from Evan once and he thought that I was uncomfortable in an interview that we had done, not due to him due to a circumstance and he and Evan you sent me a text like you're She's like, just Jen, I am so sorry if you felt uncomfortable, and Dany and I do anything. The thought that we would make
somebody feel embarrassed or uncomfortable just tears us apart. So if we did that or not, they didn't do anything, but if you felt that way, yeah, we're so sorry.
You're definitely not like the others. I was telling Jen that there was there's one blogger in particular who I flocked, but he would just destroy me. And I don't know if he's done it in recent years, but he would go after me so badly every part of my life, my looks, my job, my body, my everything. And I just a lot of respect for you guys because you told the line like you do your jobs so well. But also everyone loves you so thank you, especially.
Like we would just never want because like I know, how like that being.
Said, don't stop doing your thing, Okay, don't stop being shady.
Okay, Oh well, Jersey's coming back soon, so yeah I will.
Yeah amen, Yeah, So you better be nice to me because I might get a little spicy this season. We may see another side of me this season.
I'm ready for it.
Yes, that's the thing is you do love it, and it is your job and you your job is to comment on it. But again, and it's enough already, it's at nauseum. Our praise for you is becoming a little nauseating, but it's true and I think it's probably not always easy.
So we thank you, guys. We love you so much.
I love you too.
Thanks for coming on the podcast. You guys, Bye, guys, We'll talk to you soon. All right, So let's wrap all of this up with some ways that you can actually take a little break from social media if you want to. It's much easier said than done, but we do have some like ideas for you. There was a really really interesting article that I found and they went through some really good ways to take a break from
social media. First thing is, too and this is a Harvard study, we should say, the first thing is to know what your triggers are. So like, for me, if I know that people are going somewhere that I was not made a part of, that is a trigger for me. I mean not like a huge trigger, but that's that's what would make me go down to black hole. So know what your triggers are so that you can recognize them.
Yeah, I have.
There are certain pages that I'm that just always, you know, either just they just triggered me, they pissed me off, they would ever so apparently, and I had to learn this when I joined the Housewives. If you unfollow someone, that is a declaration of war. Yes, that is call for bloodshed.
Yes. So, but you can mute absolutely, And I have muted several people without on very harm because I don't have to see their nonsense anymore. I can't upset me. Very helpful, beautiful. I love that. And so if you do have a trigger, though, and you can't avoid it, then instead of signing on social media during that event, go for a walk, do something different, go out to dinner with your family, do something else, do anything. This is something that's been really helpful to me. Make it
a blanket. Know that you cannot look at social media first thing in the morning, like give your dad's time limits. Yes, I give myself until I give myself. I wake up usually at like six thirty in the morning, and I do not let myself check social media until after I drop my kids off at school in the morning. So it's like after eight o'clock.
Well, you'll be happy to know that that's what the professional, my professional told me, my therapist. So the first instinct, right is and it happens in the middle of the night, the eyes open. It's the reach for the phone. And I've had to work very hard on this. But not reaching for the phone, getting a cup of coffee and all of this is so not me. I've started to journal.
I don't I've never been able to meditate, but I'm just taking a certain amount of breaths and understanding that all of what's going on on my phone is not real. So trying to be present, trying to even you know, watch the news, and starting off my day without the immediate you know jump.
It's very helpful. The BS. Yeah, there's also apps that you can use, like there's something called the Freedom App and the Cold Turkey app, and they really limit your access to social media. You could also delete social media apps, but that's not really going to work for us, you and I. And also do you hear what the young people are doing now? They're getting dumb phones. It's like remember the flip phones that we used to use. And by the way, I saw that like landlines are coming back,
like the ones that touched your wall with the spiral cord. Yeah, yeah, my dad has a landline attached his home. Well I love that. Well, I mean, yeah, dumb phone in school. That way you can't check everything. But you know, I probably won't be doing any of those things aside from avoiding people. And I don't check first thing in the morning, and that what we say, no what we do? Yeah? Right? And also like maybe.
See how it feels right, so if you can. I hate giving advice like this that I know I'm not going to follow, but like sell.
Maybe we should follow it because you'll have more free time, you'll sleep better without that blue light right before you go to bed. And this is the one that's most important to me is social media tricks you into thinking that you're connecting with people. But you know the difference when I am really with my friends and really face to face and doing something together where we're really connecting in real life, it feels completely different. There's really laughter,
there's real tears. Yeah, you know, it's different. You know when it gives you, if you sign off a little bit more, it gives you more chances to connect with people in real life, and that's really important to your mental health. I may try just because I feel like after this, uh we can go ahead a drink instead of not too yes you guys, all right, Well, we love you guys. This was such a fun episode to do.
Yeah, thank you so much, and please drop comments anything you guys maybe want to talk about.
Two Jersey Jays. Visit us on social media, leave us a review, follow our page, and we love you, love you so much. Bye bye, guys.