Two Ts Presents: Popping Off: VPR Ep 13 + The Valley Ep 6

Hi guys, this is Teddy Mellencamp and I'm joined by my friend Emily Simpson for our new spinoff show Popping Off, where we are digging deep on this season of Vanner Pump Rules. Hi guys, welcome to another episode of Popping Off with myself, Teddy Mellencamp and and Emily Simpson. Thanks for joining us. We are excited because we all I mean, I'm I'm excited because I don't think I could fall asleep for about two hours after I finished watching The Valley.

I just watched it this morning and then I had to I had to get some food and a drink and it was your life together. Yeah yeah, yeah, it like wore me out. I needed some protein after watching.

That, Like, nothing makes you feel like you have your life together like watching them on the Valley. I was like, Wow, I'm really thriving.

I was like, my relationship with Shane is like ten out of ten. After watching this.

I know it's like a super doozy. But before, I mean, I guess this is we're staying on the Valley. But before we get into the recaps, let's do some headlines. Okay, this first one is everywhere we're seeing it everywhere. We saw traces of this months ago when Jax was in a picture with his publicist, Brittany Cartwright has unfollowed Jax Taylor and their publicist Laurie on Instagram. This came from Steph with dadats the Deep dud eats, dud deats. I want to be clear in case you want to follow

Okay?

If this is true, it isn't the first time JAXX has been caught having sex in a bathroom. But I may or may not have gone on to Lori's Facebook to do a littel I mean for me to have to go did Facebook?

Does she not have an Instagram.

It was smaller things for me to see.

So I was like, I need to get to where the you need to go to where the middle aged women go.

I need to go where my people like to be. And that's that's Facebook. She's what I've seen as she's married with twin boys. I don't know if that marriage is no longer happening or if it was not happening prior. But what I can say about this if you are Jax Taylor's publicist and you have repped him all these years and you want to bone him.

Yeah, what is wrong with you?

I have concerns for this professional. Like your job, and especially as a publicist, your job is to organize the press, and I can look good press, not big press. We're in the press, now you and now in not a shocking turn of events.

Well maybe she goes all out for her client. She's like, look, Jax, you haven't been getting a lot of press lately. No one's really interested in you anymore.

So how about this? Do you think this was all a ploy to sell more hair loss products?

I don't know how that relates to her lost product, but if someone told him that would work, I'm sure he jump on it.

There's one photo in particular where like, say, this is Jax right here, this is Jack's head, and this is the publicist. And they thought that was a good idea of a picture to post.

No, that was not a good idea. Yeah, that picture is creepy.

And now it's even more cringe knowing that they're actually like, I guess whatever they are?

What are they?

How do you define that?

I mean, I don't know. By the sound of it, it seems like they're pretty open about where they are. Brittany now has probably had to find herself a new publicist. But the thing that also makes this all very ancestual is that most of the vander Pump rules and the Valley people all share these publicists. They all kind of came up together, and Lori reps a lot of those people. She also reps Luanne.

Oh well, she gets around, she gets around.

But I have a question, if you were then in search of a publicist for you and Shane, pretend Shane wanted one as well.

So you're gonna have to pretend really hard.

Would you want to hire someone that has already made out publicly with their client. I trust her to do what's right.

No, I mean she's banging her client so allegedly, So I mean not that, like I would wouldn't trust Shane at all. I could. I would trust Carmen Electra being my publicist. That's how much I trust Shane. So I mean me personally, I just wouldn't want someone I wouldn't consider her a professional at that point, she's.

Two in the mix. She's not you know, she's not doing well.

I mean she's going all out for her job, but like in all the wrong ways.

And also I thought my Google images was like off because when I also wanted to like google multiple photos of Lorie so I could really get invested. There's like a similarity between the two gaps between her and Brittany. Yes, like there's a it's a like I was like, hold on, like I had to research, and there's all these by sides of the two girls. Like I'm like, none of this is tracking none, None of this is tracking to me.

But so you're saying this was like a premeditated type of thing to get back of her, like a revenge thing.

Well, I mean, in the history of when men cheat, most of the time, it's because they're feeling inferior. And oh, it wasn't whit WeightWatchers.

It was Jenny Craig.

Sorry, sorry, why Watchers I met Jenny Craig. I got the wrong slogan, But I feel like he may be doing that. I don't know. I just don't know why you would do it in such a public way.

I don't know. But it's really hard to watch the episodes and hear them talk about their relationship knowing what we know now, Like do you like I want to throw stuff at the screen, But also.

What a hypocrite like it? We're all hypocrites to some extent, but like, you can't go that hard for somebody else that has an affair when now we're watching you in real time and it's playing out on vander Pump Rules and on the Valley. This has been kind of a brilliant crossover because they're.

Both really has I get confused about which scene came from which show.

I'm like, wait, was that the Valley or was that Vanderbump?

I know because it's completely immersed now, which is yeah, what was the word that Jax didn't know what? It was? Superfluous, which is so superfluous I'm just gonna start using it unnecessarily throughout.

He was like super fluous.

I was like, oh, Jacks, you might need to go back to acting class. But yeah, it's definitely been a lot. I feel my heart goes out to Brittany because I do think we're is a nice human being.

I think so too.

I really like her, and you know what, she's been his writer die from day one. She always is taking up for him, and that's hard to find. Even when he's wrong, she still, you know, tries to make excuses for him.

She gets in there.

I've been watching Have you watched The Jackson Brittany Take Kentucky? Like that's on Peacock right now. No, yes, there's like six episodes. So I was watching that and he goes home to Kentucky with her and she's like, I don't know. She has this good, wholesome family from Kentucky and I don't know, Brittany, I feel badly for you, so you know, if you want to come on the podcast and talk about how badly you feel.

Yeah, we're here for you and we've got your back. I mean, how do you even get an interview with Jax now? Because Laurie is the publicist that you reach.

Out to, so she's like, no comments, no comments.

Yeah, we're gonna have to wait a little bit to do press. No shit, And are you going to be in there? Are we gonna ask you questions too? Or are you just gonna let us take your client on your own and then you'll get them in the bathroom later? Like it's bananas. He does like the bathroom sex, he does, do you?

I don't.

I don't think I've ever had sex in a bath well yeah, okay, like a shower.

Yeah.

I mean I've had sex in one public bathroom with Edwin.

But not a public bathroom like my own bathroom, like where I live in my home.

Now. I have had one at the in a public bathroom. But you want to hear the creepy part. I don't know, do I It was at the laundry on where the party was. Oh but million years ago we were like at an appropriate not that it's ever appropriate to have public sex. But like we were at the age where like you hear those types of things and you're like, okay, but we had to remember these people are our age.

They are our age, well your age. I'm a little I'm slightly older.

I mean everyone knows that.

I know. Thank you.

But we'll get into it more after. But let's get into Joe going to Instagram Live to answer some questions about Schwartz.

One fan ass did you ever suck off Schwartz, to which her friend who was with her during the IG live answered while they were in a relationship, and Joe continued, Yeah, of course I did. He was really good at sex. Another fan asked, do you think Schwartz is your other half? And she said, yes, I do, but I think it's going to take some time. Her friend added, yeah, you have said that for a long time. Then Joe makes weird Joe noises. You want to break that down?

Well, I think okay. Joe did not come off as this demure, nervous individual that we've been seeing on television. She came off confident and like, let's go. I am ready to you know, be hilarious. And it really just to me came off as obnoxious and kind of rude, especially because Katie just had her back, Like, remember Katie had her back? Yeah, well did she.

Have her backward?

Did?

She does not want to answer.

I will know, she said, like I was given crumbs, so I understand where she's coming from, and blah blah blah. But why do you need to bring up their sex life because that actually has nothing to do with you and him, like he's not even though I wish, I mean, I watching them, I like them together, I like, I can't help but like Katie and Schwartz dynamic from time to time.

But you don't like Schwartz and Joe. No, you just don't like Joe.

She was going hard with these statements, and I just thought it was kind of mean. And she's already done the like she posted the thing for Rachel about Rachel being better dressed than Katie. Like I'm like, why are you going for Katie? This is not kat It's Schwartz that is deciding he doesn't want to be with you. It's not Katie. Right, Clearly Katie doesn't want to hook up with you. She wants to look up with someone.

She's clearly delusional, though, because she just she makes it like it sounds like she just needs some time before Schwartz comes around, like he's gonna come to her at some point. Well not with all these Instagram lives. I mean, Instagram lives are never a good idea.

This next one is The Valley's Michelle Lally, is seemingly dating Aaron Nosler after Jesse split. During her Instagram Q and A, Michelle confirmed she was in a new relationship, writing She's with someone amazing, but she didn't want to reveal his identity, saying I like our little privacy for the moment. Michelle noted in a separate post that she officially moved out of her house with Jesse. She also offered an update on whether there was a chance they

Well that's not what other people seem to think.

But I mean, on watch what happens, Like Janet said, the director Michelle was hanging out with was just a client. She was trying to sell his house. I don't know. I mean, do we believe do we believe Janet and do we believe Michelle? Like do we trust either of them?

I don't know, because Kristen seems that well, I mean, we're going to get into the valley, But clearly she made it as if it was a relationship like dating. So those are two those are two completely different planets. We're talking about are you hanging out with someone because you're selling them a house? Or are you dating someone?

And it could she could have very well been selling that guy a house, but doesn't mean she wasn't cheating on Jesse with somebody else.

Clearly, it's that's actually a really good career to cheat, Like, if you're gonna cheat like a real estate agent's a great career to a real estate agent.

Or you own a bar or a nightclub with a bathroom with yes, with a clean bathroom. Yes with the Entreon.

I like where she says that she was dating someone amazing, but I feel like her threshold for amazing is very low after being with Jesse, so like anyone on the planet would be amazing at this point.

I mean, listen, I'd love to dog on Jesse, but I have to say, after watching last night's episode, something something ain't right with Michelle either, something ain't right. I feel like it's one of those people that like seems super calm, but now we've seen her blow up multiple times in a way that I'm like, I'm frightened to see what their fights with off camera look like.

Well, do you remember when we first started recapping it, we talked about how she never even opened her mouth like the for probably two episodes.

Right, Yeah, Well, now I wish she would shut it.

Now I'm done.

She's like, I need everyone to listen to me.

Everyone sit down.

She's definitely I think was one of those girls that always was super hot hat like people were always into her, and she is like, I know, I'm gonna play quiet, I'm gonna be this, but listen, this is howking goes down, and you all better listen to me and get in line.

Or I don't know.

I just something something is askew. But in positive news? Did you see this next one?

I did?

I did we get an invite? Not yet?

Should I should? I d M Katie and ask for one?

You should? Something about Her Sandwich Shop reveals opening dates.

It was a is that US Son or is that US? I never know.

I think it's the US Sun because there's a.

US think Okay. It was last expected to open on January fifteenth, twenty twenty four, after ongoing issues with the City of West Hollywood and attempting to get permits. Something about Her is finally getting ready to open. A source exclusively revealed to The US Sun that the Sandwich Shop will officially have a grand opening celebration on Wednesday, May twenty second, twenty twenty four. Teddy is working on our invites.

Yeah, maybe I could offer to make the invites. I'm sure Arianna is so excited for the idea of me coming.

Yes, I'm sure she can't wait.

Our mutual publicist has not mentioned a thing to me.

Oh wait, you have to say publicist is Arianna.

Yeah, one of us is really coming up, and it's not me.

I was very lead. I was like, maybe you should get someone else because she seems pretty busy with Arianna.

I don't think she has a lot of time for you. Well, good news is our publicist is not having sex with me or Ariana.

I can confirm, or Edwin or Edwin. Now, Okay, good.

Susan. If you're listening to this, I love you.

She's not listening to you.

Sorry, she's got.

Bigger fish to fry. The next one is Ali Luber debuted the music video for her song Girls Girl on April twelfth. This is in a Variety article This is big Time. Ali talked about the music video, saying, we filmed the music video in one day, and Joshua's Tree and Sheena came after. We filmed the reunion the day before, which was like the longest day ever for them, not for me. I wasn't in all of the reunion. I was like, she and I totally understand. You don't have

Yeah, that looks so look fun. I was like, good for you. I said, that's better good dancing with the stars.

I mean, I don't think it pays the same, no.

But like dancing with the stars, you could just like you could put all that effort in. Then you just get voted off the first week.

I don't know.

I thought that not if you're good, good people tend to stay.

I would stay. If they put me on, I would say, I would be so damn good.

I want to say, I'm going to need you to get up and do a little dance right now, and then I'll do right now, maybe later, but after some espresso, Martinez, I need two to three, okay. Then Mariana was at the La Times Festival of Books, probably with Susan and Reddit user Lucky Duckling eighty nine eighty nine recapped it. Arianna said that vander Pump Rules and reality TV in

I don't really feel like she froze up. I mean, she seemed pretty angry to me in a lot of the episodes. She didn't seem angry this episode though, No, not this one. I thought I felt like she was calm and just kind of taking everything in stride this episode.

But I think she really likes the boyfriend and he seems to be kind of calming. And also even when she was talking about her mess that she lives in and she was like, I might need your help organizing, he's like, I'm gonna need more than a day for that. Like, yeah, I appreciated their banter. I'm excited to see more of him them and their their relationship.

Yeah, it hasn't It hasn't been very much. I mean, just some FaceTime calls everyone once in a while.

But I think we will. I'm guessing we're going to see a softer side to her because she's I think it looks like she's like let her guard down with him.

Yeah.

Okay, So when she makes the reference to the Spice Girls and she's saying she just thought they got along all season, and now when she watches it back, she sees people saying things that she didn't think they thought that way. Is that the way you interpreted?

Yeah, the way I looked at it was like I thought we were this team and we were all working together and we all but clearly I was wrong and in the confessionals people took me to you know, went for me. But I do think she's come back around. She didn't. I liked her a lot. This episode, I'm disliking Sandoval mores. So we continue mission accomplished, Ariana. You succeeded in the end.

Again, how many episodes are left?

Though? One episode thirteen? Did I make up that there's eighteen? I don't know, right, I'm not one hundred percent sure, So I guess we have to keep going.

So we'll just estimate that maybe that Santaval has like five episodes to get a shit together and be likable.

Well, considering he's been doing press since the season aired and has not been doing so, I'm not thinking that is going to happen.

Who's his publicist? It's not Susan, is it.

It's not Sue. It's definitely not Susan. Definitely not, definitely not Sue. Okay, so let's take a little break. We'll come back and we will recap episode thirteen. Okay, So we are back, and it starts with Jacks. Jacks Hi Jack shows up at James and Alley's house. Jackson James have come a long way. They used to hate each other and now they're hosting brunch at Sir together. Jack's is pissed because Katie is telling everyone he cheated on Brittany.

I know she really is. I'm like, she kind of just hits the nail on the head, you know, she doesn't like she doesn't you know, she just gets right in there and just says it.

And I trust her, regardless of if sometimes it's like hard for me to read her. I do trust her when she says something. I don't think she's full of shit.

No, I don't either, because I think she thinks about what she's going to say. I think I think she's analytical. She thinks about it, and then she she says things with conviction.

Yeah, because we could feel that even in our interview with her, there's a pause. It's almost awkward, but there's a pause right before, almost almost like we had to recap how awkward we were at times. But it's because I think she is deciding what she wants to say. She doesn't want to say things she regrets right, and I don't feel like I don't know. I don't think

Yeah, that playing dumb doesn't work with us.

Are you guys friends?

Do you know have you heard of this gun? It's Katie Maloney?

Have you got her before?

What's your history? Do you know anyone named Stass? Because that was another Jack's rant about Katie and why Katie's so upset at, you know, at Brittany, because Brittany and Jacks didn't go to Stasi's wedding. I'm like all of this, it's just I don't think they were upset that they didn't go to the wedding. They were upset that they didn't say they weren't going until the very last minute, and with.

Weddings like, that's a big deal.

I knew I couldn't go, so I immediately RSVP'd I can't go, right, Like, That's that's how you do things, especially when you're friends.

Exactly. That's how you do it.

That's how you do it. That's why people send invites formal ones. Then Brittany visits Sheena at her house. Brittany and Jacks were apparently trying for a second baby. Shena and Brock are having some issues lately.

Wait are they having sex? Are they not having sex? Because if they're trying for a second baby, then they're having sex.

No, I think they're talking about trying to sex.

That is a lot of steps to get to a second child, Like step one, talk about second child, Step two talk about trying.

For a second child.

Step three have sex. Yeah, it's hard because at this point you feel like Brittany might be fibbing because we're on the same timeline in the vow, so we know she's not having sex.

That's what I'm Yeah, that's what I'm like.

It's like she's lying talking about how they're trying for a second baby, but we see her on the valley talking about how they haven't had sex for six weeks, which is probably longer than six weeks. I think six weeks down sounds like the standard answer when you haven't had sex for like a year.

Oh, it's not about six weeks.

But no, we do know that this is the same timeframe because Schwartz has blonde hair in both episodes. That's right, so we are able to match it by schwartz hair mistake.

That is some very good detective work. Brock is at coffee with his friend. Brock thinks the tension between him and Sena comes from the fact that Sina doesn't trust anyone to watch Summer Moon. Brock struggles with the fact that he isn't the breadwinner Shena is. He wants a career that will better himself and his life. You know, I actually appreciate how much he opens up about things during the scene because I don't think that men typically like to talk about.

Things like that.

They don't.

I mean, Shaye, I.

I was gonna say when Shane when it became a storyline that Shane hadn't passed the bar, Yeah, I assume Shane wasn't in the best mental headspace.

No, and he didn't want to talk about it either. It was that was a real struggle for me the first two seasons of the show was being in a position where producers are saying, this is your life. You have to be open. You have to talk about it, and my husband saying I don't want to talk about it.

I have to have boundaries. You need to respect my boundaries.

Well yeah, and then it adds more attention because you're not respecting the boundaries because you're trying to do your job, but you also love your husband.

And yeah, yeah, So, I mean, I appreciate him opening up about something that's real and talking about how I'm sure he feels inadequate that she's the breadwinner. I'm sure he wants to be able to support his family.

A lot of this was about financial stuff because Brittany then shares that she went through a similar problem and she was making more money than him, and that manly men like to be breadwinners, so she was making more money than he and it caused tension. I want to be very clear, if I get to the point where I can be making more money than Edwin, he would be around.

Yeah. I was gonna say, I think Shane's a manly man like I do find him to be like manly. But Shane, if I no matter how much money I make, He's never gonna like have a problem with that.

Yeah, I no.

Like He sets up the podcast for me, He's like, here, here, here's your mic, everything's ready, Like he is very.

Supportive of me making as much money as possible.

I think if any human being, male or female, is confident and feeling good about themselves and like they're able to put themselves in a situation where they are working hard towards a goala and they are being paid for it, their significant others should be proud exactly.

And then you know what if he picks up the slack or that if he's taking care of the child while she's filming and she's doing all her whatever her things are that she has going on, then that's how she has the time to be able to do that because he's with a daughter.

Right But he's he's contributing for sure, because if it was role reversal, there wouldn't be as much discussion about it. But I do know that as a mother, when I just had my first two little ones and I wasn't I didn't have a job where I was being paid money, I felt a similar way to the way Brock's feeling.

So you always feel like you have to bring an income in order to contribute.

No, I always felt like I needed to bring in money so that I had my own self worth. You know.

I like that. I agree with that too, because for me, it's a balance of power. Yeah, and it's not that it's not that Shane ever held it over my head or anything like that, Like he clearly has more money than I do. But I mean he.

Because they have who he is.

Yeah, like we see it.

Yeah, you know what I'm saying.

But but for me, it's never like Shane's ever been like you have to contribute this much, you have to work, you have to do these things. He's never said that or made me feel that way. But I agree with you. I feel that way because for me, it's like a balance of power. I feel like I'm contributing. I feel like I don't have to ask his permission to do things. I just buy whatever I want. If I want a new car, I go buy a new car. I don't ask him permission. And I like that feeling like that.

I like that feeling of being empowered to do whatever it is that I want to do, whether it's for our kids, for myself, a friend, a business venture. I don't want my husband to be in charge of what my moves will be, whether he wanted to be in charge or not. I put that pressure on myself, so I appreciate. I mean, Edwin's not every month like Teddy, where's the money you made? Like that doesn't happen. We're separate accounts. But like I need to feel like I can do that, so I see where both of them

I don't just sit around and talk about how you're not contributing.

Yeah, like for years into this thing, Like what are you gonna do?

Like, what's the plan?

Like I need a plan. I'm willing to find a babysitter and pay the because remember she's gonna have to pay the babysitter. I'm willing to pay the babysitter if you come to me with a concrete plan and this is what you want. But I haven't heard him say what he actually wants to do. He doesn't actually seem like he knows what he wants to do.

He's hoping for a full time role.

Yeah, Like I don't know. And I also think she maybe wants to make sure that he is the father she wants him to be and not turn into the father that he is to the other kids.

Yeah, so she keeps him right here because also.

The jealousy conversation, like even about the law law thing.

Yeah, I see, I didn't picture her being insecure about her relationships. So that was new for me about how she hasn't true some thoughts about Brock leaving her for an nanny. Well, first of all, don't hire a hot nanny.

Yeah, that's one one on one.

Yeah. And then even listening to rumors about Brock and laha lah like she's got her she's got it all in her head and she's got some anxiety about that.

And I don't know, I think it might be the shows she's on. Yeah maybe, I mean that could be it, but I do I hope they figure it out because the date was a little rough because you know, all she wanted to do was blog, remember the whole thing, Like when the Sparklers came out, She's like, he's just looking on my phone, right, and then what about did you think?

Oh wait, let me ask you a question about that. Because when Shane and I go out, he doesn't like me to have my phone. And I remember when we were in Vegas. Edwin didn't want you to have your phone. Do you remember, m hmm, because you were.

Like you were like Sina you had the phone. You were like all out and he was.

Like, put the phone away, Teddy.

Yeah, he depends on the circumstance here. I'm not trying to I feel bad, ed I love you, but if it's something Edwin would want to remember, he wants the phone out. So like his birthday the other day, he was like okay, yeah, phone blah blah blah. But then the second, like the kids were done doing their stuff, He's like, okay, now no phones. Yeah, and that I

But let me ask you a question.

Does he reciprocate and take videos and photos of you with kids, because that's where I wish Shane, Like I always have my phone, I take videos and photos of the kids everything they're doing. They're practices, birthdays, everything, But I'm not in any of them.

Yeah me neither.

And I wish Shane would just pick up the damn phone every once in a while and make video and photos of me with my own children.

I have none. I don't have that.

I'm sure you've seen the TikTok where the mom's like, I'm gonna just video myself and pretend it was my husband and it's like her packing the lunches, and.

Right, that would be me.

Yeah no, I.

Don't, thanks, honey, No, not now.

I don't look good.

Don't do it. Hold on, let me put all my makeup. Yeah no, that's not happening. I don't ever feel like I'm being filmed when I don't want to be.

Yeah, me neither.

Katie and Shorts go on a lunch date, not a date. They go to lunch together. I loved it, every part of it.

They went to Mels, they had a milkshake, They.

Had a milkshake. Shorts posed for a picture with Joe for their salon Instagram. Katie asks about it, He's like, oh, yeah, I wanted to promote there and I was like that hair is not the way to promote it. Then they compare dates with Tory and they text her at the same time to see who she responds to. First, that's some shit I would do.

I do stuff like that, Like I was like.

I would do that. And then Schwartz thinks that this whole thing with Tory is his and Katie's love language, which it has brought them closer. You see why they felt even though do I think they should get back together? Clearly no, but you know, I kind of feel like they should. I don't know. I feel like he still has some growing up to do. I mean, some of the bad stuff that he did in the past, Like it's hard for me to get over. Yeah, but I

Right. Well, it's nice to see them as friends. They have a good they have like a fun, quirky friend relationship.

Yeah. Then Schortz gets a tattoo of his dogs and bring Sandoval with him. Would you get a tattoo of your dogs? I know you love dogs, but would you get a tattoo too?

Well, I wouldn't get it.

If you want to tell me you have a tattoo of your dogs.

No, no, I don't.

I don't.

I mean you're thinking about it.

No, I used to have a tattoo, but I got it removed.

My gosh. And then Kyle Chan is getting a lot of screen time this year his collaboration with the Gold Whiskey Bar. They're talking about that they're gonna have Sena come perform.

Two songs, two songs, songs.

I have a feeling it's gonna be good as Gold and as Apple's.

Yeah, two songs.

Because her song I enjoy, I enjoy.

I haven't listened to alli song. You like her song?

Oh yeah, the video is not as much, but I really did like this. The song like has a good hook.

Okay, well, I'm gonna have to listen to it now.

Then Sando All met with the Realders to talk about it. Next steps with the house. I mean, what do you think the white listing would say, like a hoarder's paradise, takeout containers, lego portrait optional, bring your own stage.

Yeah, that's exactly what it would say, hoarders Paradise. I like that.

Yeah, I feel like that is not a lot of room.

To maneuver around, but you know, looks nice from the outside.

Yeah, you'll figure out, you'll have some perfect for the organized person. And then we get into Sir with Jackson James for the brunch event. How do you think the scene with Lisa went?

Okay? First of all, are you gonna tell me that Lisa had no idea that Jacks was hosting this brunch as well? Like, is she really going to come in and act like she's surprised about something so that she can have a beef with Jack's Like I didn't like that part, Like you're gonna tell me you really don't know what's going on and you're just completely surprised by it.

Yeah, you're because you're also one of the producers on the show. And it wasn't like it was just he showed up at a party. I'm sure he was compensated to be.

There, right, and his name's like on the flyers or whatever.

And I'm like, I mean, I don't know, I don't.

Like that part because to me, that's too like I get it, I know how these shows work, but for me, that part was just too much acting.

Like you of course you knew he.

Was, Yeah, but I also didn't really know what Jacks was contributing to this DJ he.

Showed up late?

Did he show up late?

Like everyone's there having brunch and then he walks in and he just like says hi to everybody and then sits down.

Yeah, and then put headphones on for a second with James and then it's done. Yeah. I feel like and there are times where Jacks can be funny, but I do feel like he's the guy from high school that at forty still talks about when he was homecoming king, and like he's just still.

One football play.

Yeah, like that, remember that time I caught it in the insode? So cool. Then the entire group, including jax goes to James and Ali's house. After Sir Ali confided and Katie about james reluxe and reluctance to let anyone watch Hippie besides his brother, James starts to cry. He calls Hippy his fur baby and ask everyone with kids how long it took them to find a good nanny. He compares the two. Jaxon is excited to get job with friends Brenny's home. Then Schwortz tells Ariana that he

I agree. I was totally shocked by this. I thought she was just gonna lose her mind, but she didn't.

I she she's coming back around, Yeah, coming back back around. Then Brock and Sheena get into a big fight about Sheena wanting to leave early. Uh. Then Sheena and Sandoval get into an even bigger fight because he brings up the instance when she was the other woman. She was twenty one years old, and they were not on a television show together, and she did not know. Regardless if she knew or she didn't know, this is a very

Yeah, exactly. I don't understand.

It's like every time I feel like he takes a step forward with Shena, who's probably besides Lala, like the next person that he could probably have a relationship with, maybe he sabotages it every time, right when he starts to build like a little bit of camaraderie back and then he's like bam, and he just sucks it up.

I wish Sheena would have responded back like this show exists because of that, and you wouldn't have even been on the show if I didn't do that, because you realize that Brandy and Sheena correlation through Beverly Hills is what started van upon rules.

Ah, so well he should write her a thank you note then.

Yeah, thank you, and you did it that her past and listen. I can only find one video or picture of Sena with Eddie Cibrian and she was twenty one years old, like in Lake have a Suit. This is a very different circumstance.

Is that? Who was I didn't even know?

Yeah, so Eddie, so please Emily. Then it's coming up the trip to San Francisco, where Sandoval will meet Ariana's new boyfriend for the first time and starts suggests a one night stand with Katie. I don't think it's happening. I don't think they're going to have it.

No, I don't think she's interested. Maybe it's the hair. I think he should die his hair back brown before he suggests it to her.

I think he should almost go like salt and pepper, because I do agree. I think it was James that said the different color Brown's isn't always working. Like just go natural, like go die it back brown and then let it grow out and cut it. Maybe have a stot a cut that you could style properly.

Also, yeah, because he has a lot of hair, he has a lot to work with.

They could he could have good hair.

He's not going to be able to get that Jack's endorsement.

No, you know, like we should go with like the Jesse look like the salt and pepper like things. Yeah, like that.

Yeah. But then last night and watch What Happens Live, Ali read Andy's birth chart and he said, and she said, Gemini's son means he's a storyteller. His Leo Moon says that he has energy and drive and libra rising, which means everybody loves him. He also has Mercury in his tenth house, which is the smartest planet. Andy asked if he's going to find love, and she says that he has Saturn in his seventh house, which is the planet of relationships and marriage. Mozzle, Andy, Mozzle.

Right, Andy, let's see that's exciting, very exciting.

All Right, Let's take a little break and we'll come back to talk about the valley. All right, we are back to talk about episode six of the Valley, but before we start that, let's discuss Janet addressing Kristen revealing the information that she supposedly everybody about Michelle, saying she was the start of some of the information, but the word racist never came out of her mouth, So she'll take accountability for what she said, but not Kristen's words.

Oh yeah, she knew.

She knew she was watched her as.

I didn't watch it, but dis based upon what you said, she knew she was going to get asked that, and that was she said it.

Well, yeah, she said it well because she's like, yeah, did I stir the pod a little bit? Yes, I will take accountability for that. But did she mince my words and change them? Yes? So I think both could be true.

Well, here's probably what happened. She said republican, and then someone had to take it a step further and add racist in there. That that could have happened, and that's probably what happened.

I think they were shit talking. I think they were openly shit talking. And then when shit talking happens in alcohol and blah blah blah, and they just keep like avoiding, avoiding and then adding more, you know.

Which makes it worse because they're not actually saying what was said because they don't want to actually say what was said, so you're right, So they go around it and try to add things to make it sound like what it was, but it wasn't really it. So now this is a big mess. So that's a big old mess.

But so are Kristin Luke discussing practicing to getting pregnant more. They love to talk about sex, they do.

They talk about sex all the time, and I just get a visual every single time, and I don't need that right now.

Just we can move on from that.

Luke does need his fish is to what is it? Pond? He wants a fish and pond. I'm like, Luke, the biggest fish that you've caught is Kristin because you are loving the camera time, loving it. I'm curious because we are gonna have Kristin on what she says about Luke Colorado feeling about being on television because it doesn't seem like he's a.

He's not a mister private person.

No. I think he's enjoying it. I think he's he's like, you know what, I'm madly considering California for the first time.

Yeah, I'll just get me a fish and pond right here in the valley. Yeah.

Here, I'll just make one here, just you know what, get a kiddie pool. I'll throw some fish in there and I'll catch it every day. To feel nad he do. Then Jax meets Jasmine at a bar. Jasmine lets Jax in on how Brittany is feeling. She gives him. Really, I think Jasmine is the voice of reason. Yeah, for the most part. She gives good advice on Brittany, which, of course we know he's not going to take.

But why does that?

Okay, but Jack's already had this conversation with Brittany. It's it's sad that someone else has to come in and remind him that he needs to be nice to his wife and compliment her and have sex with her. Like he has to have a third party come in and tell him this.

I really wish, because this is the problem. I'm watching Summer House now too for the first time, and Lindsey is talking about her sex life with Carl and or her lack of sex life with Carl as the show's airing, and they have a conversation that does end up happening, which is in some relationships when you don't have sex for a long time and then you try to have sex and then one person can't finish or the other person can't get hard, like it just becomes a mental

It's just not you're saying. The conversation is way too superficial. It's just we don't have sex. But they're not actually talking about what the root of the problem is. Why not are you not attracted to her? Are you attracted to her but you're not feeling confident with yourself? Does it have to do with you? What is the root of the problem.

Yeah, I mean I think part of the problem. And I hate to even say this, but when Jack saw that girl at the bar at the bar and said I want my wife to be wearing something like that, I felt like that was a dig like this is what I'm attracted to.

Well, you know, the constant like scenes of him checking out other women. You know, there was another one I can't was it on the valley or was a fan or pump, I don't know where there was another woman that was like hot and he was like, I can't look, I can't look. You know. He had to make like a thing out of it. Yeah, you know what I'm talking about.

Yeah, I I well, like that would.

Hurt my feelings if Shane made references to like having to look away at another woman because.

Oh, yeah, like I can't I can't look at her because she doesn't have a bra. Yeah, it's he's saying I'm tempted.

Right exactly.

That's my point I was trying to get to.

That is that if he has to say things out loud that other women are hot, but he has to look away because he doesn't want to look at him, because he doesn't want to be tempted.

Like, that's a serious problem.

Yeah, if you're tempted to want to have sex with other people but you're not tempted to have sex with your wife you have a child with, this is a problem. And that's actually what you should be talking about, like is your labite? Are you older and you're just not wanting to have sex anymore, or you're wanting to have sex, just not want to have sex with your wife. That's what they need to say, not all this other bullshit.

Track, it is. It's a lot of Jacks. I can't even keep track of, like if you said it on the Valley, if you said it on vander Pump, because there's just so much Jax right now, I can't I can't keep it concise.

Oh but what about Jack's trying to pull the wool over our eyes by sharing the information with Jasmine and then saying like, you know, I don't want to I don't want this to get out there.

Yeah, don't tell anybody.

I'm just gonna tell you in the twenty four production team and the camera and like it, Jacks, this is saying your first radio we know just what you're doing, but lvp's better at it. But yeah, then we get to Jason and Jesse come to Danny and Nias to help break down and build some furniture. No, listen, splurge for task Rabbit, because the thought that Jesse could build anything right right, nor did he want to.

Jason looks like he could be handy, possibly, but Jesse, Like, why anyone thought Jesse could put anything together is beyond me. The only thing he could put together is like his hair and his outfit.

And he can pop a champagne bottle, he can pop a ruin art bottle. I saw him. I saw him.

Gudd.

He's not going to ruin his manicure doing manual labor.

No, absolutely not going to happen. But watch what happens live. Did vote Nia and Danny their favorite couple at eighty two percent overall vote. This is not shocking to me. I think they actually are a couple that are talking about the real things. Even when they were at dinner and you can see that Danny's starting to get a little tipsy and he goes to like raise his hand Nia to.

See such your wife thing, she put your hand down, step out it stop it. No time for that like this is not this isn't your time to step in, buddy, like she they act like husband and wife they actually are.

And actually I think they actually have a very good relationship which I actually like each other. It's nice, yes, which is nice because everyone else is such a hot mess.

It's nice to have.

The one you know, relatable, normal, seem to get along, love each other, mutual respect relationship.

Who do you think would build set up a nursery better? Jesse and Danny and Jason or Sand of all James and Shorts.

I'm going to give it to Sand of all James and Shorts. I feel like I feel like Shane and Edwin or Shane could put that together, like no problem.

He's there's absolutely no way I think could do it.

Now I done.

Can't even change about Shane.

Shane's so handy. He hangs chandeliers and hangs huge TVs and wires it through the wall and all kinds of stuff.

So I know who I need to call next time I need something done. It ain't Jesse, It's Shane.

It's Shane.

Then they drive Jackson Brittany drive to see progress of Jackx's in a golf cart.

I like the golf cart.

I like the golf cart. I do want to know, like do you have to have legal street parking? Because they parked in the red.

Oh I thought you meant is the golf cart street legal? Like did they add all that like turn.

Out and everything was in the red?

Well you know how that works. Production gets out there and puts the cone there and.

Fine, But I was like, don't don't act like my eyes can't see. But Brittany feels like her ideas aren't being heard, that she's not involved at all. And then when afterwards, like you can tell his business partners are being really nice to her.

They are trying to like write like.

Do you want to see the stain flowers?

We love ideas.

But then they sit down and Jackson Brittany keep trying to talk about the relationship, and Jackson's just so stressed so.

He doesn't know, but he just doesn't want to have the conversation with her, Like it's it's clear to me that he doesn't want her involved in this bar. He doesn't want her ideas. He doesn't want her there because.

He wants to bone other people in it. And it's gonna be hard with his wife there.

He needs to keep her far away from the bathroom.

Like he's like, I don't need you being on a group text exchange. What happens if my text sex pictures on it? Like I can't have you there ruining my game. And I've been telling you that I'm having libido issues. But he didn't. He even though he's very stressed, he did have the time to plug his hair loss care product. I liked the edit totally just bagged on this whole event, Like they broke the fourth wall. They made sure we all knew it was for TV. It wasn't like a

How many times has she been the Burning Man? I mean she left, she left Burning Man.

She thinks she's still at.

Burning She's like, ed, we're going to have a Mermaid show.

She's like, I didn't her, but you can. This is where the shift starts to happen, when Michelle walks over and catches Jesse outside talking to BMV Burning Man, Burning Man Vendor.

It's the Burning Man, Mermaid, Burning Man, Mermaid Vendor.

Yes, you can see like darkness in her eyes, Like she doesn't even like say a word.

She's like, I know, she's like when you feel like cold chills on the back of your neck and like you get like goosebumps and the hair on the back of your next hands up, she's that's her.

Yeah, like I'd be fucking no. I mean, Jesse didn't talk at the beginning of dinner because he was frightened. He was ready to be like Lorena Bobbitt, like at the dinner table, he knew it was coming. And I think that's what they weren't actually saying, is like they were in a fight at that moment, but they were trying to pull it together and then it became then Jesse had to just make everything worse.

Well, no, what did he say? He said, like two hours earlier he had a conversation about something.

What was that.

Well, I feel like the beginning of the dinner was edited a little weirdly because the timing just wasn't making sense, and I was noticing the cups were filled up different lights, like it just I don't know. There was so much tension, right.

And that is why. But he made some comment about like an hour before, two hours before something happened that.

My guess, you know, we've all been at these dinners where you've been sitting around, dicking around, talking about shit. They're never going to show, like what's your favorite television show, Who's your biggest celebrity crush? No one cares, right, And Jesse is now getting tipsy and he's like, is somebody going to say anything worth listening to? Right?

Because I want to go home?

Yeah, Like I'm over it, And I think that's what's happening. He's carrying around that he knows that Michelle does not want to be with him, and that's the situation. But this leads me to my biggest question that I have for you, Emily.

Yeah, why would you go on to a reality television show knowing that your significant that your marriage is not going to make it?

You know?

I asked myself the same question. But I feel like when someone like Jesse is a true narcissist, that for them it's just a way to look right and to look like like they're winning or I don't know, Like, I don't think they have a problem putting themselves out there because they don't see anything wrong with themselves.

U think neither of them do.

No, No, I think both of them is so stuck in their head about how they're right that they don't mind airing it because they're not embarrassed by it at all.

And I I mean I guess I can understand that maybe a little bit if they didn't also have a child. But they're going into it knowing it's one thing we have watched.

Just the same guy that like tried to get his kid to ride a bike and was like, ride the bike, get on the bike.

And your life said to your kid, Like, I'm like, Cruce, get in the elevator. I know you're scared of elevators. You can give me a hug, but get in the elevator.

Yeah, but would you do that when they're filming?

Probably not.

I would, That's what I'm saying.

But then the people would be like, why is Teddy being so weird and awkward? And it's because I'm not actually being my transparent self. But like that was moments and it's happened as a parent, So like.

I feel here's the thing.

I feel like so many couples go on reality shows when they know their relationship is in the toilet.

And I don't know if it's because a reality.

Show gives them, like maybe the one one feels like it gives them a platform. Like clearly Michelle has a platform. Now she's out there and she's moved on and dates some hot guy.

That's amazing.

Why I'm worried? I mean, and then are we going to see Jesse and Michelle and the new hot guy and whoever Jesse's gonna date is this? Are they all going to be on? Because I really don't need any of them to go.

Yeah, I guess.

So Michelle calls him out for being quiet, Kristin says Jesse is disrespectful and disgusting, and his own wife calls him a douchebag. Luke says Kristin calls him that too, like talking about himself.

I was like, wait, it's what happened to Luke, But I don't understand. He's always he's always so defensive of Kristin.

Everything she does he defends.

So then when he kind of turned on her and was like, well, you call me that too, I was like, is he confused about who he's talking to?

And also everybody calls everyone a douchebag? There are worse things to be called. I called you a douchebag behind your back so many times, just kidding.

I call it to you to your face.

Yeah, like douche lord. I remember, douche lord.

To do well, you would be a douche lordis a douche queen, You're a douche duchess.

But either way, the fight between Luke and Kristin is confusing to me. But then we hear on Mike off camera a producer trying to calm Kristin down regarding Jesse. Kristen is upset because Jesse is a psycho, but she doesn't want to out anything in their marriage. So clearly this is why the dinner editing is so weird, because they are telling Kristin it's time for this to come out.

Trouble with them, and she's like, I'm not doing that again.

Side take me up, the coach, put the pregnant lady.

Make me do it, and like how they all stop her in the hallway though you know she was trying to leave and they're all just like.

Oh, she's done. Like she's like, get me out of here. And then Jesse says to christ Kristen on Mike, if you bring out any skeletons, I already don't know about my wife, I will bury you. But then why did they have to suck up the line and say that Jesse said that he was gonna leave. That was a real gup. Who said that? That really Kristen said it? She said it wrong.

She messes everything up.

She has to stop being the messenger because she doesn't get it right.

Well, she miss delivered it. I know that she knew that. I think she knew. We'll ask her. I think she knew the accurate information. But I think at the end of the night may possibly be like the two of us, after we've had three espresso martini's, we may misdeliver and information.

Yeah, but that was a big missdelivery because there was a huge difference between my wife will most likely leave me within the next two within the next two months, and I'm going to leave my wife in two months.

Like yeah, I mean you saw the difference in Michelle's face.

I was like yeah, I.

Was like, you're dead man, You're a dead man walking. But then this is where it really starts to get Instead of comical, it now is getting sad because then they start getting physical.

Yeah, that Jesse, who was he trying to go after.

Luke Luke because I think when he was like.

Jumping through all everybody and everybody going back.

Push through Brittany, I'm like, don't get don't get Brittany her me maws in town or like weave the poor gal out of it, but it really. Luke then says to Jesse, your problem is with your wife. Jesse goes into a rage pushes Oh yeah. First he pushes Zach barreling into everybody, including pushing Brittany.

Out of the way.

And then now because Zach was like into the wall, and then did you see Craig from production there?

I saw Craig.

I was like, oh, Craig, I haven't.

Seen you, Hello, Craig.

Craig's like, Hella, Craig, what are you gonna do about it? Craig really coming on mixed for this. Get over there, Greg, get out of the shop, buddy. No, Craig's in there. He's trying to stop. And Luke's like, I wasn't gonna hit him. I wasn't gonna I was backing up the whole time. I'm like, yeah, real nice backed up so then he could take out freaking Brittany, right, So.

I like, I like Jesse when he afterwards, after he jumped through everybody and knocked everybody down, like his hair is all disheveled and his shirt's untocked and everything.

What a disaster.

Yeah.

Then then Michelle gets involved and starts yelling at Kristin to shut the up. Kristin says she's done protecting Michelle. Kristen says Michelle doesn't know what Jesse is saying behind her back. Michelle asked what. It continues, on and on and on. Michelle screams for everybody to get back into the room. She is gonna talk. I'm like, you already use that line.

Yeah, And why would you want everybody to see when stuff like that happens. You can't then organize everyone, get everyone to sit down, and get everyone to listen, like it's the party's over.

The party is over. We've now pushed people down, We've like Zach.

Disheveled, his shirt's hanging out.

This is not go This is not a time to reconvene and reasonably talk about what happened.

And Michelle, I hate to be the bearer of bad news. You're not in a reasonable position yourself either right now. So you were the lad if there was anyone in this moment that could have had a conversation in a in a proper fashion, it would have been Jasmine, the voice of reason. But I didn't see her anywhere in this portion. I was like, where's Jasmine? She needs to get everyone together, right.

Let me ask you a question. Though this bothers me as just someone on TV as well. But when people say I know things about you or I know things about I'm not going to say it, Like when Kristen keeps saying I know these things. I've been protecting your You know, I'm protecting you and protecting you. I hate it when people do that because to me, then it just leaves it up open for interpretation, and the interpretation

But I have a question. We can talk about this because this is past. It already aired on an Orange County There was somebody doing that. Were you doing that with Shannon last year?

No, I say stuff to people's face.

Who there was somebody that was saying things in confessionals. Oh it was Heather, But that is different saying things in your confessionals is different than telling a cast member, which Heather did not do got it and her confessionals, So there there is a difference. But when you're threatening it on camera right to the person, but not actually

Did you notice they had the little well yeah, yeah, free the nipple. I think it's a thousand dollars every time you have to every time you have to use the nipple, blur because because they have to use it on me sometimes because I got on Yeah. Then and then I think Heather told me She's like, Emily, don't you know every time your nipple comes out's a thousand dollars they have to blur it out.

I now, I'm now I have to check out my nipples because that never happened to me.

It always happens to me.

Mine are like wonky.

They're all over the place.

They're always like what's They're always like, what's going on out there?

So I think of you. But then Kristin and Luke leave, Kristin drops her bomb that Michelle had a boyfriend for a year. She says that she didn't sign up for this again and she'd rather be on Van of Pump Rules. I'm like, no, Kristin, at this point, you want to be right where you are because this show's better.

Yeah, exactly.

Then on watch What Happens Live, seventy six percent of the audience we're on Kristin and Luke's side in this hallway fight. Ninety three percent believe Kristin that Michelle had a boyfriend. What do you believe, Emily.

No, I think she did. I mean, look at their relationship between Jesse and Michelle, and you know, I think we like to place a lot of blame on Jesse and say that he's.

A douche lord.

But you know, maybe it's Michelle that's been the problem and he's just trying to deal with it, and he looks like a douche, like maybe he knows about this affair or he suspects it and he's trying to deal with her, and she's like a sniper. She's all like calm and cool, but really she's just like.

Yeah, she's probably getting at him twenty I mean, who knows. I think they're both I think it's a very toxic relationship. I think it's good that they're not together. But do I think they both haven't contributed to this mess? No, I think they're both very much. So. I mean, I don't know how Kristin could have even come up with Michelle having a boyfriend for a year if that.

Didn't happen exactly, so I think so. I mean, I think she probably met someone famous, got all engulfed into that life of fame and was very excited about it.

And she's a real estate agent, so you can use.

That as like, oh, I'm showing them a house every day of the week, I'm showing him my house.

But I I don't know, it just was. It was very very messy, and I am excited to talk to Kristin about it. And I kind of want to see what I need to like meet Michelle. I need to like feel her energy energy.

Yeah, because but see here's the thing about Michelle, though, you would have to meet her more than one time to actually feel her energy.

Did you feel my energy the first time I met you?

Yeah, you're a ding dong and that was like apparent.

But so so it's perfect, perfect, No, but I feel like with someone like Michelle, you couldn't just meet her once and actually know what she was about. I feel like it would take several meetings.

I feel like she might be the person that's not super friendly the first time you meet exactly.

I feel like she would be cold and guarded the first time. So I don't know if you would really know.

Well, let's have her on. Let's see.

Well, let's do it.

Hold on, let's let's see who she We'll pull the shorts and Katie. Let's see who she likes more, Teddy or Emily? Who does she Who is she gonna vibe with? Do you think, oh, oh, who are we asking each other? Yeah? We're asking each other. You know.

I was like, is there a pole somewhere that people?

I'm very fancy now this is like, watch what happens.

I was waiting for a pole to like come up at the bottom.

Like, oh my gosh. Well, thanks you guys for too and again we are loving recapping these shows and appreciate you listening.

Thanks for listening, guys,