The Twotty Awards

Two teas in a pod which Teddy Mellencamp and Camerage Edge.

Hi, guys, welcome to another episode of the Twats. And this is a special one because not only are we have the big game. Yeah, it's the Twatty Award. This is something we have never done before. I mean, it's coveted. It's the coveted award to win it is. We don't have anything to give you. We have a diet coke if you would like that. We have a half drank diet coke and a pin with a no ink in it because I tried to ride on something and it wouldn't work.

I have a new bombing purse.

Oh are we sure? It's real?

Fuck off?

But this is our This is a big word and I'm going to try to pronounce it right now. Our inaugural twenty Awards. These nominees and winners are for the calendar year of twenty twenty four, and the winners chosen. They were chosen by our listeners, not even us, not even us. We can't even be biased because you guys chose biased.

No.

Which one did Kyle win?

I don't know. I haven't read through yet, but I'm sure if I voted.

We know me too.

You know what, you may have won one too if I voted, because I don't think you won. I don't think you want any either the biggest villain. Guess who didn't get nominated?

Me or you? Thank God, Yes, this is all from our listeners.

This is all from our listening.

Thank you so much for voting.

The first one is most iconic quote. The first one is from Salt Lake City. It's our girl, Heather receipts proof timeline screenshots.

Yeah, and in New Jersey, U subpoenaed the wrong bitch.

So's Orange County. There's the door Shannon Badar.

A Real Housewives of Salt Lake City that looks like high body count hair.

And the winner is.

It's the Real Housewife of Salt Lake City receipts proof timeline screenshots.

That's a good one.

It's a good one.

I wonder if it was scripted, but it was a good one. I don't think it was. It just kind of really now that I realize how wonderful she is again this season, I think she's just clever. But Harry, speaking of high body count hair, I'm about to be doing a little something special with Antie k because you know anchie K and I see each other. Yes, am I not involved in this because you don't live in a camper at horses shows?

Like me and anchie K, what are you gonna do?

We're doing high She's gonna do high body count hair on me.

She's gonna do your hair. Uh huh oh, I can't wait to see it. How do you think I'm gonna look with high body count? What does that look like? Like big poofy like Britain.

M's hair did that night? But also, what is con and you're gonna do that for the horse show? You're we're gonna do it for a paid post.

But get that money, girl, get that money.

I'll also be at the horse show and I'll be walking around with big body count hair. But I have a question what in this day and age from the age, let's ask the younger gals, what is high body count considered? Like if you were to give your number out, which you're not, you don't have to really give me your number. But like it's different for me and Tam because like I was married for sixteen years. TAM's been married.

Her whole sixteen years.

I was with Edwin for sixteen years.

Wow. So Eddie and I have been together fifteen years, and then Simon and I were together for we're married eleven maybe thirteen years. So in my adult life, I have two. That's my body count too. Now prior to.

That too, including Eddie and Simon.

Yeah, but prior to that, and that would be nineteen ninety. I mean this would be in my twenties and thirties. I lost count.

Okay, so you can't say two if you lost count. No, I'm saying in my it doesn't matter. You don't get to separate a bike. I'm just gonna put it too. I'm so.

You can't. I was a when I was younger, you a health a chew. My parents didn't tell me they loved me, so I found love elsewhere.

But all kidding aside, what is your account?

Oh god, I don't know.

So the fact that you just tried to say too is giving me anxiety.

I've said to in the last two decades that last time, I'm sorry and two yeah, same, Okay, I'll leave it at that. Prior to that ten.

So you're saying your overall number is twelve people. Yeah, I find that to be a lie. Really can we get a lie.

I was a law I couldn't. I can't even remember. I'm just throwing that number out.

But I mean, you didn't put everybody's names in your Kate Spade. Do you remember the Kate Spade planners?

No?

For how many people you had sex with?

No, I had a Kate Spade planner. On one page, I'd write their names, and then if we kissed, it was like a circle. If it was more, it was like a star.

Okay, how how many How old were you when you had sex for the first time, like completed sex?

Yes, not just the tip, not just the tip, the whole Dick. I mean I think I was a senior in high school. Oh, I was fourteen, Okay, I mean I was doing all of the Are you gonna ask me his name? Sure? Can I get his Instagram account info?

Richard Yanker, Dick Yanker, No, Dick Yanker.

You lost your virginity to Dick Yanker?

Yeah, yeah, I was.

When was the last time you saw Dick Yanker? What does he look like? I can't I don't know. Oh my gosh, No, my first was my high school boyfriend. But I don't even know if I could really count it because it was like, I don't know that it was ever to fruition.

Oh really, so mine my whole years were after I split up with Ryan's father, Okay, Darren, and then till the time I met Simon.

Oh how many Hoe years? And you had Hoe years in Orange County?

Yeah? I think so. I think I was mostly in Orange County then. Yeah, Oh yeah, I think.

I mean after high school, probably the same year, like I would say, probably the year two thousand was pretty hoy for me.

Two thousand, I would really have to do the math.

A year after high school.

Oh yeah, that was a year after my high school too.

A year after high school I had, I had a one year old. I mean I had, no I had. He was much older than that. I was not with children. But let's also be very clear. My number is higher than I like twelve. Yes, it's higher than twelve, but it's less than twenty.

Mine could be, but I'm so old that I can't remember that far back.

So you're blaming on set dementia.

Yes.

Most iconic moment of twenty twenty four, voted by the listeners deiy yanking down a sig and a range drover, and.

Then there saw Lake City Mary trying to get into Meredith bar mitzpath.

Real Housewives of Miami, the gondola ride from Hell in Mexico City.

And Marge sending Teresa funeral flowers.

If Dey doesn't win this, she did, she won it. But I also want to know, like, what is this life like? Could you imagine if there was a photo posted of mir or you smoking a sig, we definitely would not be called.

I know, I know, but people I don't see people smoking cigarettes that often. I see people like vaping more than I see people.

Know who smokes cigarettes? Who the koogs?

Oh yeah, but he's.

American spirits and they take five minutes to smoke one sig and they stink, and he always smokes them in the kitchen.

And it's crazy because people are like, smoke cigarettes or vapes, you're gonna get cancer. Then you have these old school guys from you know, nineteen sixty seven.

I personally don't like the smell of a sig.

No our cigar.

No oh nope, no, I don't. I don't. I don't wouldn't mind if a guy vaped as long as I didn't have to see it.

But at least it smells good. Does it smell or it tastes good? I don't know.

Oh you'd never seen one or smelled one. I'm sure iconic confessional looks.

Uh.

The first one is Real Housewives to Orange County Gina.

Oh, they're talking about that one where she even came out and said it was a bad look.

The one Jeers doing Joe.

It's kind of iconic. I think it's iconic. And then Salt Lake City Broun won. She's had a lot of iconic. I mean, I don't even know how you can beat that.

Then we've got Dubai chanel On, who she commented on our thing and said, hello, of course I'm gonna win. I have an afrow of roses in my conscias. Yes.

And then there's Angie from Salt Lake City.

But what outfit was she wearing. Let me see, she.

Wears a big white, big pointed thing. I love Angie, but like, I mean, she's got good style. She's got good style. Bronwin won this. I personally would have voted for shanel On. Yeah, I think so too. But you know what's because their shows not on, So I think that that's probably why you know when Salt Lake City is airing right now. So I think that's why Bron won won. But Bron one, I mean, come on, I think this give this girl credit. She was a hot dog.

Let's give this girl credit. She is keeping things interesting she whether it's from her looks or whatever. And she doesn't look uncomfortable in her looks.

So it's not too imagic what we would look like in hot dog outfits and all these big giant ruffles and.

Yeah, I can't evenine. I mean I could see myself trying to wear this Gina outfit and regretting it afterwards as well, me too, me too.

At least she had the balls to say, yeah, that was ano good look, and we've all done that, especially the confessionals.

Yeah, don't bang me back to you.

Bangs, bangs, she bangs, she banks.

Okay. Best season of twenty twenty four, Real Housewives of Orange County season eighteen, Real Housewives of New Jersey season fourteen, Real Housewives of Salt Lake City season five, and Real Housewives of Miami season six.

I mean, this one, we know what it is. It's the number one show out there right now. That's Salt Lake City.

Always Salt Lake City is the MVP of every They are killing it. The fact that it's is it over?

Yeah, but they go straight into production after reunion.

Yeah, they're already filming. Yeah, they film. I don't know if they're I don't think they're already filming, but they're already up and running, up and running.

They're getting I think they want them in the snow and that's why they do that.

Yeah, well I like that.

Well, this one, I'd happy to say that I am not in it. But it's a Villain of.

The Year, Villain of the Year, Real Housewives in New Jersey, Jen Aiden, Real Housewives of Salt Lake City, Monica Garcia, Real Housewives of Beverly Hills Anne Marie Wiley, and then Real Housewives of Orange County Alexis Bullino.

And the winner is Monica Garcia, which I love. She's a good villain and I'm i'm I think she needs to come back.

Well, this is going to lead me to another question, who would you say is a bigger villain? I realized this is an honor things, so now you're gonna have to make your own decision. But who do you think is a bigger villain? Jen Shaw or Monica Garcia.

Yeah, I think Jen too.

I mean, who would you rather be friends with?

Monica?

Yeah, me too.

I mean we already tried the friendship with Jenshaw.

That didn't work.

It didn't work well at all.

We did not You almost got we almost got kicked out of Bravo con for that half friendship that was formed.

Best and we're lucky. We still have stuff in our room when she left.

I mean the fact that she brought her jeweler and her therapist. I know, a room that was a quarter of an inch big. I know, like our bodies barely fit in there. Okay, best friend of.

My girl, Alexis she's on there, Kiky bar.

It's only because there's only a selection.

Also city our Jackie. I don't. I don't know why Jackie. Oh yeah, she was a friend towards a friend. I forget that she was a because she was a housewife first. And the winner is Kiki. Kiki's the best friend.

Of I miss Kiki.

I feel like Miami has been off for so long I cannot wait for it to get back.

But I was hoping that Kiki was going to come back as a housewife. When do we find this out.

I don't know, I haven't.

Hey, can we do a plot twist and Kiki could date Marcus Jordan if you don't know, If you don't know who that is, that my that's Michael Jordan's son who is in the train tracks.

Yeah, no, nobody needs to date him right now?

Would you rather date Marcus Jordan or Lenny Hawksteen Marcus Jordan, Uh, Lenny listen to get free work done?

True?

Marcus would be your pick.

Okay, you can have Lenny. I'll take Marcus. Fine, I'll stick with my husband.

Best new housewife Please note we wanted a non the new housewives who had majority of episodes in twenty twenty four, which is why you do not see bows here in this year.

Oh okay, because buzz would win clearly, clearly, I don't know. Bron Win's pretty good. So we have Katie from OC, Raquel from New York, bron Win from Salt Lake City, and Stacey from Potomac.

I don't even care what the results say. Broun Win, I'm not even you know what she did win. But if she hadn't, I would allowed she was.

She is probably the best newbie across all franchises.

I kind of want to hang out with Bronwyn, not in a hot dog suit, just like regular. No, I want to be in a hot dog suit, but I want to see what it's like to just be from.

I'll be Bustard, you'd be ketchup.

I don't want to be ketchup. But let's take a period.

Oh, I'll be relish ew who likes relish that's disgusting and chunky.

Twat of the Year. They were chosen by our listeners in an initial round where they could submit any name. These four were the most received names. You Angie k Salt Lake City, Bronwins Salt Lake City, Mary Cosby Salt Lake City, and Beverly Hills. I got to tell you, for three of these to be salt Lake City is a big freaking wake up call. I think it's all other franchises, yeah, including yours.

Oh oh, I told Andy Cohen, I said, put me in boss. If I can go to any other franchise, I would go to Salt Lake City in a heartbeat.

No, I mean, though, you can't.

Those girls know how to do it, and it's not like, oh my god, you're so mean, do you? I mean on mind, like, Oh, you're so mean, Rare. I would see invisible in Salt Lake City probably.

Is Lisa Barlowe. And this now we get into fan Q and A. Michael asked us if each Housewife cast was competing as a team against the others and a strategic competition show, i e. Survivor Big Brother, which show would come out on top? So if each cast member was competing, no cast, an entire cast, Well, I think that that's a really good idea.

That's something that I've talked about for years. They should have like the Olympics, they should have a competition show between house shows. Yes, I think it's a great idea. Who would win?

For the corporate world? I think we've got bows like I think she could take. I mean, she's had more real jobs than any other housewife I think.

But this is competing, like physically competing.

I think it's any kind of competition. And Big Brother, I think Erica has street smarts. Garcela and Kyle are both actresses, Sutton sneaky. I mean, I don't know.

This is a tough one. It depends on what type of show I'm gonna go with.

Salt Lake City, Okay, Tamra Judge Eyes wants to know who on your Housewife Tamra Judge Eyes, that's her name or his name?

Oh my god?

On the twitters or on the X on the X Tamra Judge Eyes, who is on your Housewives? Mount Rushmore without any who? Tama Judge, I fuck off without any bias.

Yes, so you can't say Kyle's what he's saying or she saying.

I was on on my list. I already wrote Kyle Ta.

I would say Kyle for sure. I might go as far as to say Ramona No, just she's no ge man and she's like she's up there. No, okay, you don't like my Ramona. How many is there?

I'm gonna say it's wed. It should got to the longest running housewives, so I would say you, Kyleesa, Nini, Nini, Yep, Kenya, Giselle. I mean they might not be the longest running, but like, no, I am, I know you are fifteen years bitch. The next one is Bravo Confess. Asked what were your opinions on Kenya being snubbed from Roal Housewives of Atlanta Season sixteen cast photo.

Don't love it. I love Kenya I think she's great on the show. She clearly made a mistake, she came out and said it. But I mean I hope that we're going to see a little bit of her this season.

Well, I think if they used her in the trailer, then they should have at least given a photo.

I mean, how many episodes do you she even.

Got a photo?

For God's sakes, Oh, then Kenya should have got one.

Hey, some respect, respect okay Ner fan asked what Bravo loved. Would you cast on next season's Traders? Oh, I will fucking cut you to you.

No, I think that. No, I'm not joking. I think that you would do amazing on that. You are very into like the True Crime, and you're very smart and definitely you for sure.

You know who I'd like to be on with Page?

Oh yeah, she'd be good.

I want Page Candace.

Candace was supposed to be on, but she got pregnant.

I don't know, Like I can't be on with Erica because like I know her too well, we'd have to do it separately. I do think I should be on a ship meet Erica and Renna, and like Kyle should do some sort of show where we're talking about like dating life. I think that would be interesting.

I would pitch that bitch.

I'm too I'm too booked up with the pod to be pitching. But yeah, I would like to hang out with some of those people and I but I would want to be a trader. I would not want to be a faith.

Well, you don't have a choice. I hate to break it to.

You, but what do you think they would make me faithful?

Fuck? You never know. You can always get to be a trader later in the season.

I want to be a faith I wanted you to have to have.

A good argument because they sit you down with Alan before and you need to tell him what you want to be and why. So if you really have your diox, you might become a trader.

Well, nobody's reached out, so I don't think I have to worry about it at this point in time.

Well, I wish I had some poll but I rarely made it.

Rob made it further than you.

Robin and I tied. Yeah, we're tied, exactly.

Okay? Fine? Instagram user Yeah seene Alvi ninety two. What twat seat guest was your favorite? Oh my god, I feel like we fell in love with somebody. Once.

I feel like we fell in love with people a lot of times, but I I'm John a blank here on this one. I mean throw me some names.

Well, Jeff Lewis was really fun on the twat seat because he was very unfiltered. But we appreciate everybody coming on. Yes, I would really like Heather Gay to come on because she's one of the only people that continuously says notice because she's mad at us about the Ginshaw Bravo con.

Oh, come on, You're only as good as this week's episode, girl.

Listen, but she's back in action.

I love them all.

Instagram user who said that what ask? That's a long like how many times do you have to put in names? Who said what asks? Yeah, you can only keep three Real Housewives New York cast members next season? Which three are you keeping?

Oh wow? Okay, so cy.

I that that's on my list as well, But like, I don't know that I really believe that anymore. I feel like I need Side last year. I need Si pre getting a glass in her foot. Yeah. Yeah, for me, the only non negotiable at this point is like, I need Aaron.

You want Aaron?

I want Aaron?

Okay, So cy in Aarin mm hmm.

Would you rather have Uba.

Or I think uber uber or brand? Is that what you're gonna say? Uber uber?

But UBA's like really in on the story at this point or do you think that UBA's just causing drama for drama's sake?

I think but has good potential. I think that she gets explosive. I think she says things she doesn't.

Mean, but I don't think she's following along with what the actual fights are about. And that's a problem for me.

I don't know. After watching at the reunion, we saw so I was so.

Loving at the reunion. Yeah, but also, does Uba get to count as a real Housewives of New York if she lives in Connecticut?

Well, she moved right to Connecticut full time.

Yeah. Oh well this next question, Trischelle just walked in, so we're gonna make her play this question with us. It's a Mary fuck kill. But we don't like to do Mary fuck kill. We like to say Mary fuck bye because we don't need to like actually murder. It's our final it's the TWAT Awards. Okay, Mary f by, Okay, Boston, Rob Derek and Wes.

Oh, Okay, I would probably f Boston Rob sorry to his wife, just like the accent to say kids, Yeah, he has like a million kids. He has like this four or five. Oh yeah, and she's beautiful, so I mean she probably gets this a lot. His accent's very sexy.

Yeah, I find something I do. I find something sexy about him.

And then I would marry Derek because yeah, like he's just like a good guy. I would definitely buy to Wes just because I love Wes very much, but he I couldn't be married to him, or I couldn't. I don't think I could have them either.

What are your thoughts on The Readunion and The Traders this season?

Oh?

My god, I love it. I think it's so good, Like, honestly, two episodes ago was probably the best reality TV I've ever seen.

Yes, who do you think they're going to bring in to be a Trader now?

I think either Dylan or.

See. I think Dylan's about to get killed.

Maybe maybe you're right. I feel like they might bring in Brittany because Danielle seems like she really wants to like be the number one, and she wants to like.

Throw I would kill her.

She wants to throw someone under the bus, So it's.

The most annoying Trader every annoying.

Did you cry when you were on Traders? I can't remember I did. That's annoying, I know.

I'm sorry I did.

I did.

I cried like once or twice. But yeah, yeah, Cet hurt my feelings one time.

And then it wasn't it your boyfriend on real World? No? No, back in the day, you and CT were like No.

Andy Cohen thinks that we like had sex too, I'm like, no, igot, I never.

Happened my like teenage years, remember with each other.

No, we did not like each other at all.

There's somebody in the reality world you dated, though, like all of them, all of that.

Okay, Steven from my season, who was really cute. He was like the guy with the blonde tips. It was popular back then whenever it was too bad.

Hold on, you were telling me you didn't date CT.

No, but I did him. I dated the miss I dated, Yes, yes, we had.

A whole thing.

Doctor doctor which doctor, doctor the skin doctor?

Will? Yeah?

No, no, no, no, no, no.

I did not date Will.

Who dated somebody dated Will?

I thought I dated somebody in the reality world, but I can't remember who it was. And then I dated this guy Adam, who was like on the Challenges, and then I, I don't know, I hooked up with like all of them, like on springw HO.

I was a, oh, can you tell we've been talking about high body count, hair and numbers. Tamar tried to say that her number of sexual partners is too because she's only counting at the last two decades.

I was like, okay, yeah, I want I actually two decades still, that's that's high for me. I honestly, I can't even remember. And I'm okay saying that I have, what I said, a great time in my twenties, some in my thirties. I didn't get Marychelle. I was thirty eight, so it definitely the double digits. Yeah, I mean, I like, from eighteen to thirty eight, that's a long time for me.

Fourteen.

I'm fourteen to twenty one.

I know it was a high school ho, but you were married for a long time, so like, I'm sure three.

Times three times that high? Really, I had no three. I had a seven year relationship with Ryan's father out of high school, and then with Simon. I was with him for eleven years, married, probably two or three years prior to that and then with Eddie. We've been together fifteen years.

Oh my god.

So that's why I can only remember the last two decades. No, no, I had no. Don't worry.

Don't worry. She had him.

I had them, I had him.

Oh my god.

I know we have to end this episode, but don't you guys worry. We're gonna have more of Trachelle for her own special episode on the twat Seat. We're so glad she could join us here. I know.

Nice.

Well, we'll talk to you guys soon. Thanks.