Hi, everybody. I'm Tamra Judge and I'm Dan Geesling and you're listening to Talking a Big Game. Hey, guys, welcome back to another episode of Talking a Big Game with myself, Tamra Judge.
And Dan Geesling. Really excited to be here today.
Dan, yes, a Michigan boy in La for Is this the first time?
Yeah, I spent some time here for Big Brother. I've come to LA but I don't Oh.
You filmed Big Brother in La Yeah, yeah.
Studio city. But I don't know how you pull this off because I was taking the car, the Uber from the airport. Yeah here, yeap, and it's like ten miles. I'm like, in Michigan, that's twenty minutes, man. Yeah, tops. And we're halfway there an hour. It's an hour halfway there. We're getting there and like I get cars sick. So I'm about two and a half miles out and I tell the Uber driver like I'm good, and he kind of looked at me like I'm crazy. He's like, what
do you mean you're good? I'm like, I'm gonna walk the rest of the way, and I just I just had your luggage with you. My luggage with me because I'm not high made. Just like I can't sit in traffic, I can walk and beat this car there and be happier and help you beat it.
I did.
I beat them?
Oh my gosh. So last night Dan and I went out to dinner, Eddie wrote as harleyan to meet Dan. I was like, do you want to meet Dan or do you want to know? Is it to find out who this guy is it's doing a podcast with my wife or was it generally you wanted to come have dinner with us?
Well?
My thing was before we got to dinner, like we're walking, you know, it was ten minutes from a hotel, and there's like two or three people yelling out of cars as we're driving by Damnar Judge, I love you, and I'm like, I know Tamar's big, but like there's like it doesn't end and like the funniest thing Eddie like didn't even react. Just another day at the office.
Dan, I'm kind of a big deal. I mean, I'm just kidding. Yeah, it's crazy like in Orange County, like I'll get the you know, occasional wave, but when I'm in La because I'm not here that often, they're.
Like like losing their minds.
It's I mean, it's very grateful. But today we have a special guest. It is Cheryl Burke, who became the first female professional dancer to win ABC's Dancing with the Stars, taking home the season two Mirrorball Trophy in two thousand and six with their celebrity partner Drew Lasche. Burke earned her second consecutive Dancing with the Stars trophy on season three with their celebrity partner Emmett Smith. So let's go ahead and get Cheryl in here.
Hi, Hi, thanks for having means.
Have you met Dan before?
I think?
Wait, how do I know you?
Big?
He was on Big Big Brother I've never seen Big Brothers. Traders? You he was on Traders. Traders. Yes, that's it.
Nice to meet you, Nice to beat you. So a fan of the both of you? Oh, I know you already.
I'm a fan of you. We had Max in the studio who was on Traders with us.
Yes, I saw that.
Yes, he's amazing. Now is Trader something that you would ever do? Totally? Absolutely? I freaking love that show?
Are you kidding? I'm a huge fan.
Well I might have some connections, but oh really, I just need you to answer this question.
Okay, sure, sure, I'm ready for it.
How does one get cast on Dancing with the Stars. I'm just asking for a friend.
The same way that they get cast on Traders. Oh, I'm like hello, I mean yeah, the person who casts you own Traders. You should talk to that.
Person, I know, right. I mean, actually, dancing the start is probably my biggest nightmare because I can't dance?
Would you want to do it?
I always like a challenge in dancing. No, but this is a.
Different This is different. Okay, this is like Survivor meets Dancing with the Stars, except wait, can you explain water once a week? Really?
Can you explain that to me? Why do you say that it's seven days a week? Okay, it's not the glitter, I mean it's not. Look, it's full on. It's like you have to learn a new dance in three days.
It's not one. It's not in a week. You don't have a full week to learn a dance because you've got to turn in your dance so that the director can choreograph the cameras. It's a whole thing, and it's physically and ment to lead challenging, and it's really about if you're ready to which I know you are. You're very open and vulnerable. But if you're not ready for that, like this is gonna you're just gonna have a horrible time. Like you have to strip it all down and be
ready to look stupid, to feel stupid. You gotta trust your partner from the moment you say Hi, nice to meet you, and that's it. Like, don't question your partner because they obviously have your best interest in it. It's a whole psychological thing.
How long is a typical practice, So you said you practice seven days a week when you're in the studio dancing, how long is a practice for a complete beginner like someone like myself or Tam like when you're on the show.
Yeah, well so they only allow four hours, but we will take you elsewhere and get your shit together because four hours ain't gonna cut it. Like, so we do extra. I mean, people cheat all that. Like, there's no way that the quality of dancing that you see is done in four hours with interviews with all of that stuff that we need to do for television. So I mean, honestly, back in the day when there was no rules, I was eight to ten hours a day easily.
Holy hell, that's why everybody comes out so snatched and skinny and acts and everything and secho see a therapist at geez all that dancing and you're like burning more calories and you're actually taken in.
Yeah, it's the stress and anxiety of the show. I think too, because it's like and who wants to dance on a full stomach and then be up in someone's girl like smelling like girlic.
Oh god, that's very true.
How much would you have to push your partners so I know you've had a lot of athletes, would you have to push them to go extra? And how much of that was you playing the role of like psychologist slash coach to get them to where they needed.
To be with every partnership.
I was definitely that as far as they're you know, we're their backbone, right as far as these celebrities go, because like they don't know what is right, what is wrong, what looks good, what doesn't look good? Like I could tell them to put a clown hat on and they have to do it like they just got you, and to shimmy and shake their ass off until the music stops, like whatever I say, And if you fight it. It's it's just going to be a problem, right, Like there's
just no way. But as far as athletes, I never really had to push them. Actually, Emmett Smith, that dude behind me, he actually put me in my place, which mad respect because anyone that can do that, I'm like, oh, okay,
you have boundaries, shit okay. But he was like, I'm only giving you four hours a day, and he wanted back then he was with his now ex wife, but like he had a family, you know, and it's and it easily could you could fall in this rabbit hole of just like honestly, the family's second priority because like the demands of the show is so intense. But we traveled back and forth every week from Dallas to la
He gave me four hours. But the difference between Emmett and let's say, any other person I dance with is that you can tell he took my direction and rehearsed it in his head and at home he ate he like it was breathing this stuff, you know, constantly. Twenty four seven, and he came into the studio the next day improved, And that's all that matters. I don't give a shit if you give me thirty seconds of your time.
Like the most important rehearsal is what you use, like the downtime, right, Like are you memorizing your steps so we don't have to freaking go over this again for the millionth time? Like you've got to do the work.
I would be a nightmare for any dancer trying to teach me.
Are you sure? Are you not being hard on yourself?
No?
Are you share with dancer?
No? No, It was not about the dancing and the ability. We can teach that, but it's about your mental ability.
Oh, my mental abilities.
There.
I've done a fitness I've done a fitness competition. I train all the time, but I just have two left feet.
You'd be great.
Then, Oh okay, then let's do it.
It was fine, and you come.
Out of my partner. Have you ever had two girls dance together?
They did?
Yeah?
They did?
See well yeah Jojo see one Jenna?
Oh that's right, that's right. Yeah. So you won the trophy when.
Nineteen twenty, nineteen twenty with Emmett, right, yeah, Emmett Andrew Lache, when you.
Came out back to back, I mean, and to have that much success early on, did that set the stage for you, like, I'm going to win this thing every year? How did you keep that in perspective?
It just was a downwards downhill will spiral from there, I mean, if as far as results go. But I had no expectations, and I think that's why I was so successful, because there's that whole thing right when you grip too hard and you really want something so bad you just don't get it. But it's when you really go in and have no expectations. I was going to go back to Harlem, where I was competing with my partner at that time professionally in the circuit of ballroom dancing.
But you know, it's interesting because, as I continued, I've done twenty six seasons of this show. It's such a great learning experience as well, because when you become or when I at least become competitive and I want something so much, it ain't gonna happen like it has to be for the right intention. It has to literally, it's not the end all be all, not curing cancer like
it's just another mirror ball. But also what's interesting too, is because I've done it and approached each season differently, and I've learned a lesson every single time. But when I don't make it about my celebrity partner, for example, and it's like me wanting it more than anything, it's like that doesn't work right.
It's like dancing with the Stars. Max said something exactly the same. He says, when I started, it was more like here I am, and it wasn't he learned. It wasn't about him, it was about you know, whoever he was training at the times.
That the antithesis of how professional dancing is. Though, So outside of Dancing with the Stars, if you want to go win a competition, isn't it like that where it's like it's got to be about you and you have to do that, and this is teaching you. It's not like that.
It's you know, ballroom is it takes two right, So it's a partner dancing, so in that sense, like you can't just care about yourself, right in that sense, Like I think what's so beautiful about ballroom dancing is the gravity that two people can make with one another and the power of the execution within that, as opposed to like solo dancing, like what you see on so you think you can dance, but still like you walk into a ball dance competition. I mean there's egos.
I mean I have one.
We all have an ego, right, it's just a matter of like how obvious.
Anybody that's on a stage. Sure on anybody that's there. Yeah, they all. We all have egos an ego. Yeah, some worse than others.
We all want a standing ovation. Let's just be freaking real.
So you had said that you've been on twenty you were twenty six seasons. How many seasons a year do you do because there's no way you did this for twenty five years.
Oh yeah, I'm like ninety five years old.
Yeah, I you look great for ninety five.
Thanks, it's the Asian. No, we did two seasons a year. I would say the first few year years, at least like ten years we did two seasons a year. So I started when I was twenty one. I'm forty, but I'm obviously no longer on the show for the last couple of years.
But yeah, we did.
Starting season three, we did two seasons a year. I mean the show was huge. We had Super Bowl ratings.
Yeah, that's crazy. Do you miss it? Of course, of course I miss it.
I don't necessarily miss the I mean I don't necessarily miss the training because it's always a hit and miss, right, Like unless if it's like I have, you know, obviously my few that I just loved, Because for me, it's not so much if you can dance, it's about our if I like you as a person, like to be quite honest, because at the end of the day, if I don't like you as a person, this is going to be miserable. Like it's just going to be a
miserable experience and vice versa. By the way, I'm sure a lot of my partners didn't like me.
Is there a certain age no everybody loves you? Is there a certain age for the for the professional dancers on Dance with the Stars where you like tap out, Like, is it you can just keep from everybody?
Is it like if Karina Smirnoff was still on the show, she would be just as good. Like there's certain people that will never the age, Like at ninety nine, she's.
Still going to do a killer rumble walk. So it's not It's not like baseball or another sport where it is is it like when you're like, oh, you're you're forty your way doll to be playing football?
Like but then you know, I think if you're competing at the competitive level, yes, but when you're doing Dancing with the Stars, I don't think it matters.
Yeah.
Yeah, it just depends on your confidence level when you're in those skimpy costume. Is it going to take a toll on your mental health? Is the pressure? It's just so much as you know that goes behind it was there like a body image, like you ever felt like oh I have to be so skinny or you have to keep your weight, like modeling where you you know, everyone's got to be so skinny and you have to wear these skimpy outfits. Like was it so much pressure
to keep your weight under a certain Sure? Yeah, but it wasn't pressure from outside. It was pressure from I mean for me at least, like when I you know, on my podcast, I had someone on one of the older pro dancers that's no longer there, who said that she did feel pressure from the executives. Now for me, I think I was so hard on myself already that
there was no need from that. But I also got blasted, like for being too fat for television when you know, there was a couple of people cast members that you know basically said that I was a little bit overweight.
Wait, like your follow like competitors said that on the show off.
Wow, I mean I wouldn't like in the press line like and also obviously I'm not going to mention names, but like it is, what's the past, and we're all like have made amends and all of it. It's all good. But like even prior to Dancing with Stars though, I just want to be clear that my dance coach was I had weigh ins, you know, as if I was a boxer. So it's like I was on this thing called like the Hollywood Diet, and it was like liquid, it was like orange juice. I was like, of course,
I'm gonna have to pee every two seconds. And I mean, anyone that's just drinking.
The way orange juice is filled with sugar.
Tell me about it. I know this was like in the nineties.
So, so after you were retired from Dancing with the Stars, did you start your podcast pretty quick after that?
So this time last year? So no, it was like I would say, did I retire twenty twenty two and November of twenty twenty two, I started my podcast this time last year.
Okay, now when we met in Napa. We were doing a podcast together. I didn't meet there. Yeah, we didn't meet there, but we I know, we didn't meet. They were actually met for the first time. I think it was like jingle Ball or something like a long time ago, long time ago.
Yeah.
And then of course we've seen each other at iHeart events, you know, all the time. I just remember seeing you for the first time, like, oh my god, that's Cheryl Burke. Oh my god. And Teddy's over there, like hey Cheryl, I'm like, you know her. I was like, oh my god, it was It was pretty amazing.
That's really sweet of you. And I feel like I bonded with you right away because you're so open. We don't do small talk, do we.
Now, we don't do small talking, you know what. One thing that was so amazing that you've been so open and honest about your sobriety and your journey with that, and I just applaud you for that. I keep saying I'm not going to drink anymore. I'm not going to drink anymore. And then you know, you go to a dinner and I'm like, well, I'll have a glass. Why. It's very hear you. It's very difficult for me. I'm
not a big drinker. But when I do drink, especially like on the show or something, because I get nervous, then I'm just a big old asshole. So I've decided, like, Okay, I'm not very aware. I'm very aware. I'm very aware. Like I'm like, no, I'm not an alcoholic, but I am. I'm not a I'm a bad drunk, is what. I am. A bad drunk. So I keep saying, you know what, because my husband hardly drinks it all, he rarely will drink ever since, y, you're not an addict. No, no, no, no,
I know. But I just the simple thought like Eddie's like we should just because he hardly drinks, and said, but he's like that we should just not drink at all. It's like not good for you. It's putting there just too much pressure in your body. And then I thought, oh my god. As soon as you tell me that, I'm like, oh, can I drink?
I start closet drinking, drink closet drunk.
Yes. But I'm just saying it's not easy.
It's not easy when you like, for me, I'm I'm an addict, right, and I and I have you know, been through the worst. And I'm great, I'm grateful that I've been six years sober, but it really especially during trying times like the last few years of like really big changes that I've made in my life, I get tested all the time. But I just know that for me, and I'm sure it's not the same for you at all,
since you're not an addict. But if I ever did relapse, I do know this one thing that I would go down. I wouldn't stop, like because if I have broken that trust and this in a way, it's competitive in a odd way with myself, Like I've gone six years without a single drop, So if I broke that, I'd be like, e f it, Like we're just going to do it.
And I said, it's six years sober, And you said, there's been trying times. What has allowed you to be successful in those moments when it could have gone either way? Because obviously it's not an easy thing to do.
No, it's a good question. It's sometimes just trying to be present. But just like not promising that I'm never going to drink again, because that for me is overwhelming, Like to say that I'm never drinking ever again. In
my whole life, like I can't. I don't know what the future holds, like none of us do, right, and so sometimes you just have to take your life one one second, if that's what it is, one second at a time, and that feeling, like feelings do, they come and go, will soon go away, especially if I'm just living with whatever's unfolding in front of my eyes, you know.
So in the moment when you have that urge, you just you pause.
I go straight to productivity, my socially acceptable drug. I just work like I'm working. I have the longest to do list at No.
One.
So that's like my new drug. It's it's definitely productivity, right, and I think it's most of America's drug. But that's fine. I'll just talk about myself. But like I am a busy woman, you are a busy therapist. Was like, can you sit? I'm like, I say that I meditate, but I haven't lately because I'm clearly numbing something. Yeah.
So we know that you have your podcast Sexialize and Bret hands.
Correct and I can't wait till you come on after you do a season.
Get me on, girl, get me. I don't know how long I'll last but I'll try my heart at.
One step at a time, like my sobriety exactly exactly.
So you have your podcast, are you still dancing? I think there was a time that you had dance studios as well. A long yeah, there was one I think that popped up in my neighborhood in Orange County. Yes, yes, I remember that. It's in a strip mall. It wasn't a strip mall right next to my jeweler, right by the CBS, so there's never there. Definitely didn't work, so well, there goes that.
But yeah, my mom wanted to open up a whole franchise and I was like, Mom, like, it's called Cheryl Burke Dance and Cheril Brooke's never going to be there, like this is gonna work right like and it didn't.
So not only do you have a podcast, you're a professional dancer, but you're also an advocate for mental health, and I mean in a very seasoned podcaster as well. What made you talk about mental health because it's something that a lot of people do not want to talk.
About when it comes to mental health in general. I think that well, selfishly, I mean I just talked to Ginger Z on my podcast, and she wrote two books about you know, being raped, getting abortions and like a lot of trauma that happened to her, and even hearing
her story still inspires me. And I just know that it's a lonely place mental health, right because there is the stigma, and we do get lost in our heads, in our thoughts, and we start to believe our thoughts, and then it shapes who we are today, to be
quite honest, and we define ourselves. And I can say I'm not just like preaching for everyone, but I still am working through the fact that I define myself by my what happened to me in my past, and it's up to us to change the story like it is, and we can still we don't have to ignore what happened. And I don't think that's healthy either, But I think talking about it selfishly is healing, but also really does is so cliche, but it does help others feel like
they're not alone, and that's the thing. Rye there.
I'm sure you get tons of emails, people reaching out on Instagram wanting to talk to you about it as well.
I'm all for I'm not a certified therapist by any means, not even close, but I've been in therapy in my whole life.
Sure, let me ask this because I want to like Pivot, because I love the gamesmanship behind a lot of shows and something like dancing, something like Dancing with the Stars. You're on it for twenty six seasons, and so at some point I would have to imagine there's like a metagame, right,
Like you've clearly displayed how competitive you are. Is there what kind of things did you learn throughout the twenty six seasons that you could do that would output a better outcome for you, Whether it's how you played the audience for votes or would you mess with other competitors? Was there anything what would you do to get a leg up in this you know, cutthroat dancing competition.
I would say the reason for my success, like I mentioned earlier, in a way, is that I focused on making my celebrity shine and not myself. I learned that from the get go, Like I learned that from day one, and I never it never crossed my mind to showcase myself. And I think that's what that's why I was so successful.
And then so that you've had a super long career, I mean twenty six seasons of anything is insane, Like that's incredible, which is.
Odd friends, maybe right, right, yeah, so that's amazing.
But for you, like now that you look back on that, you've been on television for twenty six seasons, You've done so much for you at this stage in your life, what does success mean to you now reminiscing but also in the future.
Oh, you're getting deep. Yeah, I was going to say that. Damn good question.
Well, success is for me, failure, like there is no success without failures.
Gave me goose bumps, honestly.
Because like on it, can you imagine if there was if no one failed, you.
Wouldn't learn it? What the hell is six? What is success?
Then?
Like there is no there really has to be. It has to be black and white. And I didn't know that and there's no such thing. And now I get it when people say, or the gurus say, there's no such thing as perfection, because like that is just our own perception of what perfection is. And that's not even perfect, by the way, because there is no definition of that
and there's not one way to be perfect. So when you like really make peace with that, right, And for me, it had to be when I retired because like obviously, like you live in a bubble, like as I'm sure you have experienced as well when your other shows that you've done, but like it, it's there is no peripheral like and it's end all, be all, and the mirror of the nasty mirror ball is what we're like buying for Okay, we're not getting in a new car or new house.
So it does help if.
You've been on twenty six seasons. There's no for sure cash price, though you still get paid, okay, but it's a like my first two balls were made from a lamp shade, like.
This is nuts.
Maybe you need by a rat, like like what the hell is happening here?
Anyway?
But it's not about that, right, So now I look into because as I'm still doing a show about the show I was on, or a podcast about the show I was on. It's interesting because what I've learned now with what success is is to be vulnerable, to let your ego. First of all, is to take accountability over it. All, Right, You've got to take accountability, and all you can do is change yourself. And yet when I was on the show, all I tried to do is change my celebrity.
So when did you learn that? When did that? When did that moment hit you? Like, this is what's what success is to me, because it's not easy to push.
Of. You know, I don't just believe me, I still have one, Like, let's not get it twisted, like and uh, it's very rare that I pushed my ego to the side. But like when I do, it is it's like peace is enjoy and just contentment, honestly for me, is what I aim for, not even joy because that's just unattainable most of the time. It's like feeling that calmness, which
I defined as boring back in my day. Just that calmness, that calm without the chaos is really important in my life and I think it's what's going to prolong my life of peace and maybe once in a while happiness, Like that's all I care about.
Yeah, what do you think has been your hardest obstacle and how have you succeeded in getting through them?
Mm hmm, artest obstacle? Would say, I mean, like my sobriety, That's what I was saying. But I would say the past two years it's not just one thing. It's the fact that I divorced. I also decided to quit my job, and then I also decided to move and I.
Did hear something you do that all at once.
I don't know a lot more things. Supposedly, I would have checked myself into the nearest psych world.
Yes, five things. You can't do that, right, waite? What is the saying?
Because someone just said this to me, I've never heard that.
I thought it was a huge Is it?
Oh shit?
Is it three? I thought it was five?
What's the.
Oh? Yeah, if you if you reach five, then you're dead. You're dead.
No, I think it's five. I think it's five. Thank god.
Yeah, the end. I think I've met you right when you were going through your divorce separated. Yeah, yeah, separated. That was a pretty difficult thing for you to go through.
Yeah yeah, And you know now, I you know. I still haven't dated. By the way, remember in my other podcast, Yeah.
You've never been.
I have been on one one and done done. Like this is the other thing I learned about myself that like, until I changed the pattern within myself first of all, and then learn to like love and respect myself, there's no changing the men I end up being with because I have to that really is all work that I need to do in order for me to change the pattern. And I'm still in the process of it. Don't judge me.
I would never judge you. But have you ever considered writing a book, because I feel like.
Everything I had to write a book? Oh? You did currently I did a long time ago. But I'm currently doing my second book.
Oh awesome, gratulations on that. And is that going to be about what you've gone through?
Ye, this is just a continue. It is called choosing Me, which.
Is that is so amazing. I'm so happy for you.
I mean, it's literally we have any worse in the beginning stages. So I'll get to Yeah.
But just hearing you talk and the things you're saying and how inspirational you are, I thought, oh my god, Cheryl needs to write a book about this.
Oh, thank you.
I'd buy it. I'd buy it. Then we'll have you on twats right, we talk about it and we'll get those.
We'll get those, Cheryl.
I have a couple more questions for you. So you said one of the things you define success as is failure. Can you tell us one of the last things you fail that that you've ended up feeling good about.
Yeah, your marriage, just kidding, is there an echoing here? Divorced? Yeah, getting rid of that hunter.
Actually I founded in that, Thank god I got out right right.
That is a excess success.
It was in it that was kind of like, no, I'm kidding, what was your question again?
When was the last start? This fault?
She just got how you find success as failure? What's one of the last things you failed that and it was a success, so you felt good about it?
I would say, first of all, like this whole mammogram thing, like I'm forty and I just kept pushing it off and pushing it off and pushing it off. And I hate doctors, and I'm sure everyone can relate, and I would just you know, I'm like going to turn forty one and then I still wouldn't have gotten a mammogram, and like the excuses that I made, and I just felt like a failure because I just didn't have the
balls to do it. Then I did it, and just those little like goals that you know you achieve and it's not little, it's your freaking health, like it's your body, and to have that peace of mind, I just felt like, was I deserve a gold star for that you do.
And everything was fine. I saw you posted on Instagram about.
That, thank God. But you see, like are my are they can play tricks on us. And that's the thing. It's like when people say, watch what you say out loud because it will manifest or even like your thoughts. I mean, that's something I have to be very aware of because I am very self deprecating and that isn't necessarily though it may I think it may be funny, it's not right, Like you don't want you do want to be careful with your words and what you put out there.
Yes, so mine's not. I mean obviously on the show I say a lot, then I probably wouldn't say and real life, but for me, it's not what I'm saying, it's what I'm thinking. I suffer from like intrusive thoughts. So and it's and I know it and I tell myself shut up, Like I have conversations in my head. I don't know. Maybe I'm a little crazy. I don't know. But it's like Eddie's, It's it's a daily thing. Eddie's like, oh, I'm going to take my motorcycle out into my mind.
I'm like he's gonna crash, I'm gonna have to plan a funeral, and how's it going to feel to be a widow? And I mean, I go through all these scenarios. I'm like, okay, enough, what am I doing this for? It's so bizarre. I don't know. I probably should.
Saying about her husband just now. She's like I had the worst intrusive thought, like and it was about her husband's same thing.
I do that with everything. If my daughter dies somewhere, and it's like.
I do it with green lights red lights on the traffic. I'm like, okay, well, if it turns red right now, that means I'm gonna you know, like I go crazy up in my head, like it's crazy.
See what happens to me if I lose my keys or I'm like late somewhere, I lost my phone. I'm like, I was supposed to lose that because I was going to get hit by a car if I don't leave, like if I left on time. That's like, that's my intrution.
That's a good way of thinking about that's not intrusive.
That's like, yeah, that's truth.
Surrendering, Yes, surrendering, that's like our acceptance, Like Okay, I lost them. It's all right, because maybe I would have gone an accident if I got my car earlier.
Wait, there's not one. But there's not one thought that goes through your mind. You're like like mean to yourself. You don't like get mad at yourself.
Oh, I'm I think we're all super I'm really hard on myself. Like if I wake up five minutes late, I miss a workout, I'm like, I'm like, it's like a punching bag up there. I'm like totally yeah, but I think everyone does that to some extent.
Do you come from a solid family background.
Yeah, I mean that's different. I'm talking.
Find assassinating another time.
Is there a key to winning with the Stars? Is there something that you can do you can tell your partner when you're teaching them, like, this is the key to winning.
Shut up and listen to me.
Just shut up and listen.
I'm kidding. I do say this before we go live every time. It's just it's just me, you and the music. Like, don't think about anybody else because it's it really is. This is the beauty of ballroom. It's it's two people dancing with each other and people who are observing it.
Dance and you judges, but don't worry about it. Okay, sharing with a person.
But this is the thing, and this is my pet peeve. When I watch people dance, when they dance to the camera, I'm like, what what are you?
Why are you winking at me? While I'm watching you, like what what are you winking?
What are you winking at? Like you have a hot partner, do something like look at the like look at the partner you're dancing with, And that for me, it just gets me disconnected from you and your journey in two seconds.
So can I ask of semi inappropriate question for so on this show, like you're spending all this time and you and other people like intimate time, like physically touching each other. Does that like affect people's relationships that go on the show? And yes, like what happens?
Well that that's on you and the other person of the relationship because it's like your your foundation better be strong right coming into it. And this is why there's this thing called the DWTS curse for all the bachelor bachelorette folks that join because they had just gotten newly engaged, they've been like hiding out because it hasn't aired yet, and then they do Dancing with the Stars, like that really tests you and a lot of them don't come out the same.
Is there things that, like you would give advice to people going on, like you, here's X you can do to prevent that from happening outside of.
Like communication, dude, Like I mean, like we can't like we're doing listen, we're there as your teachers, and you have to have chemistry and people can people know when it's fake. So like I just you got to find it somewhere right. And I'm not saying it has to be physical or disrespectful. You need to set boundaries too, Like that's another thing there, Like with Emmett, like I said, it was four hours and.
That was it.
He wasn't giving me more. So there was no after rehearsal. There's no after hours, meaning at night time sometimes we rehears. But also my suggestion to anyone who's in a relationship that does Dancing with the Stars, involve your spouse. Like I was again just talking to ginger Z. Her husband was the loudest cheerleader. She he flew with her from New York because she had to do Good Morning America. So she was going back and forth, and not only was he the loudest in the audience, but he was
a part of their packages. And mind you, this guy is a solid man, like zero insecurity. Didn't express any jealousy, like he's like literally she married God, I think. And so I was just like so fascinated by this, And I said, well, do you think this is the secret? Right? So that like nothing gets kind of shaken up right at home? And because like I don't think I could. I don't think I can have my spouse try hump somebody on care.
I might have a problem with that, thank you, right, I problem with that is you yeah, yeah, but like and that has nothing to do with them.
It has everything to do with us. Who has the problem?
Right, Like in general, my wife Chelsea, I'm like, no, I'm cool with that.
Would she let you cool?
Would she be cool with you?
I think so because she knows I'm a horrible dancer and it would look weird.
Anyways, No, that's not about but you you asked a question and it wasn't so much about the damn I spent.
But I think what you said, I think is really important involving the signific absolutely.
Like it's not like bring your wife to work day, but it's like, oh, it's just about it's a matter of like how open and honest you are, you know, and also like introduce them your arranged marriage, you know, which is the pro partner versus like your real one at home. I think it'sant communication. It really is that.
This is kind of a stupid question. But when you had with your partner, right you dance with do you guys meet at the studio where you film Dance with the Stars to practice or do you have your own studio or jim that you train at. Is everybody training together at the same time, Well.
They have Dancing with the Stars studios. Now this is why it's four hours because there's only so many of them. And let's say you have ten couples that start the season, so they have to spread everyone around. But this is super like this is not allowed by any means, but I do. I did secret rehearsals. I don't care. I'm not gonna get in trouble now. But like I would
you're fired now, out of my own pocket. I would rent studios and I would do it at a time where there wasn't tons of people around, and I'd make my celebrity can go there like you're not ready, like you tell me you can foxtrot right now and you know your steps without me go. You know, if you can't do it, there's nothing worse in feeling insecure the night of a live performance, like you might as well find the nearest exit.
Sure, chare else You wrap things up here so you've had an incredible career and continue to do things. I want to ask you, though, if everything you know now and how it's affected you as a person and affected your life, if you could go back, would you go through this ride again, these twenty six seasons? Would you do it again?
Absolutely?
Why would you do it again?
I mean this was like the highlight of my life, you guys, as much as as much trauma and all of it that came along with it, there's still nothing like it. I would do it all over again instead of But actually I'd set up a few boundaries.
But yeah, yeah, with everything you've accomplished and writing the book now and the podcast, is there something that you want to do next?
You know, honestly, what do I want?
You?
No? No, you know I do want This is going to be random, but I would love there's a whole another story of like my father, there's just so many unanswered questions about people for example, and loved ones and their death right and like some a lot of people may not know they're real reason anyway, there's all this like crime side of things, and I definitely had one of those stories with my real father, and I believe since you know the police situation and when it comes
to like it's a little slow, like let's just be honest, right, like when people are trying to find loved ones or answers, like you don't get answers right away. I think there's a need for this and I would love to help others because I would say that I'm a natural private investigator.
It just comes easy. I don't know if that's something you developed, it's genetic or kidding, but like, yeah, anyway, this is what I want to do, want to help people and be of service, but in a way where they get answers because it's like never because I still don't have answers with how my father died. But that's a whole other podcast.
Wow, that's interesting. That was not what I was expecting or I'm like where No. I thought, I'm like when you said, well, this is like random and I and I'm like, she want to go to medical school. She want to be a doctor, like a lawyer.
Like light bulbs firing off. I'm going to talk to you when we're done wrapping.
Really, No, I just like I have lots of you know, there's a lot of layers to my onion.
Yeah, would you be interested in doing like a true crime podcast?
Totally? You know, I love this mic you sleep with it?
How often do you podcast too much?
Three days a week? Yeah, like today, this is two out of the way. I just did one. We've got four more episodes. Let's hit it and quit it.
That's good though, you're killing it.
You know you're killing it and we all know that.
Well, congratulations, and thank you so.
Much for coming on.
Thanks for having me try not to work too hard whatever. I'm going to go right back to it so I don't have to feel my feeling.
I'm sure I'll see you soon at some event.
Yeah, sure, Thank you guys.
Bye bye,