Popping Off: The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives Ep 6

I'm Teddy Mellencamp and this is Emily Simpson and you're listening to Popping Off.

Hi, guys, welcome back to another episode of Popping Off with myself, Teddy Mellencamp.

And Emily Simpson. Thanks for joining us.

Episode six starts with most of mom talk is a Ji's hairstyles, getting their hair.

Non. I love that we dis embrace it. We just call it jizz.

Yes, they realized that Whitney didn't block them on so so, but she unfollowed them. Besides, Macy, Macy knows she's impulsive, but she's never hear seen her this impulsive.

All of the girls are over it. They don't want to deal with Whitney.

I don't want to deal with Whitney. I'm over it.

I'm over it.

But then Jesse continuing to host a party at her hair studio in honor of something she's saying goodbye to. She has mocktails that have names like this feels very this doesn't feel too Mormon. The pink pussy and is having the girls each paint of vagina and honor of her getting a labia plasty.

I do love her for just sharing all her shit.

Yeah, Okay, let me ask is a labia plasty? Is that where your insides are tightened? Or is that where the actual like curtains are cut?

And according to her, she can't wear leggings anymore because her meat curtains hang too low.

This is a direct quot, so.

Okay, that's yeah.

I thought this would be a fun get together for everyone before they go on their next trip, which is Las Vegas for Layla's birthday. I'm like, Leila, we just had a divorce party for you. Now it's your birthday, Like right, make a seat.

And I love how these Mormon girls choose Vegas.

Oh and every time I go to Vegas, I love to get an Airbnb off the strip.

Like what?

Then Jin asked if any of the girls have named their husband Schlong, and they have it, But Jin's named Zach's holmshow Hompshow not even Poncho?

Now?

Why is there an amin there?

Like it's a Pomeranian, a Palmeranian Chihuahua Pancho.

And does that mean he's uncircumcised?

I don't know.

So many questions because Poncho would make sense if he's uncircumcised, but palm Cho is a little bit confusing to me, Like, what is a palmchow?

Is that a word?

I don't know? Is it like a mix of a palm and.

My god, it's mistyped.

It is way to go. It is pancho.

I love that we're just bullying our production tea having idea like palm Pomeranian? What is it?

Pop?

No, poncho? So that's got to mean like it's a penis with a little coat.

On it with yes, it's.

So painting vaginas to the Mormon doctrine poncho penises.

And yeah, I don't know that i'd want.

My penis to be called poncho. Does Shane have a penis name? No?

I mean now I feel like we should. I mean, after fifteen years, is it too late to name the penis?

Like?

Should I have a penis naming party? Do you have listen, I'll paint one for you.

Would you like to come? I'm going to have a penis naming hammer helper or helper?

And uh so your privates doesn't have a name either?

No?

Mine does does it? Venus the Goddess of Love?

Really like a Venus fly trap?

You like that.

Either way?

Then Taylor arrives at her mom's house without Dakota. He was supposed to come with her, but then they got into an argument again. Taylor thinks that her position of not wanting marriage right now is making Dakota want marriage even more.

Dakota just wants to control the situation. He's out of control.

Yeah. Then Taylor tries to call him, but he doesn't answer. So our girl, Leanne, what does she do to Emily?

LeeAnne give the great idea to say she's going into labor?

Leanne is diabolical.

I mean, who, like anyone heard of the boy who cried Wolf?

Like ha ha, Leanne tis tists like you already pulled this shit.

But then I realized, like we this is why they have all the issues that they have because Leanne is giving this kind of sound.

Advice, right, I mean, you do see why Taylor is the way she is.

Yeah, because once on the phone, Leanne reminds with Taylor and Dakota that this isn't about them anymore. This is about their baby that they just pretended she was going into labor with. And Dakota asked Leanne to tell her daughter to either commit to him or end this.

Oh, the ultimatum that's not good.

Listen, and we know this ultimatum isn't going anywhere. There's nothing more that pisses me off than a fake ultimatum. Like, if you're going to give an ultimatum.

You better be behind it one hundred percent.

Yeah, Like, if I'm really going to give you an ultimatum, there's gonna be repercussions.

If not, I'm just gonna to sit there and take it right.

I mean, clearly Dakota is not really going to end it.

Now, what is he gonna do?

Put his PlayStation over at Jet Jennies or whatever her name was.

Jenna, Like, where's he gonna go?

Well, then jin Leila into me visit Jesse while she's in recovery after her laby of plasty and boob production. She decided to do both. She already had a mommy makeover. She's just getting shit done. I want to know if it's cheaper to get plastic surgery in Salt Lake City because they are able to afford a lot of it, and like, I know how expensive my tits were, so.

Like okay, but here's the question.

I don't think she probably paid for any of it because they already had a lot of following anyway, right.

Yeah, but there's no tags of a doctor or anything. You have to like my neck lift, m m. You'll notice my doctor is tagged into every single post.

That means I would assume that I would assume.

The same with your eye lift. Oh yeah, oh yeah, like as your doctor tagged.

Yeah, I tell him all the time.

Right, So that's my point. I don't see any tags off. Who did the laby of plasty?

Oh well, I don't know, So.

We'll ask her did she pay for her own laby of plastic?

That's a question. Write that down.

Yeah, hey, don't forget put that night at palm show.

Put that in your book.

But then, her recovery process is similar to their recovery process after giving birth. Her doctor advised no sex for four to six weeks, but her husband wants to know what her dentist says. But then she's still planning to go to Vegas to celebrate the birthday. Jen breaks the news that Dakota and Zach will be driving to Vegas with them, since Dakota doesn't want to be away from Taylor.

Oh mysh oh.

And then Ben Afflecks not cousin can't is supposed to be there to support Dakota because Dakota is on his sober journey. But then yet just goes and gambles the whole time and fights with Jen. Amazing, amazing, But then that all the girls are getting packed and ready for Vegas. Jen asked Zach what he would think if she went to the Magic Mike show, and he immediately threatens divorce another false threat which we talked about with ultimatums. She

Yeah. I don't know what did she think he was going to do with that all you can eat buffet? I mean, what are you gonna do with twenty five hundred dollars in Vegas except gamble?

Yeah?

And then the producers ask Jen if she can talk about Zach's gambling, and she says it's okay as long as they don't frame it as an addiction.

See here is where she's not allowed to go to a magic mic show?

Is that what it was? Magic Mike?

Hmm Okay, I went to Thunder down Under recently in Vegas. My husband is Mormon, by the way, he had no problem with me going. It's actually comedy, it's funny. It's just a bunch of girls scream and some dudes that all look the same dancing around. But he's but it's okay for him to gamble, and right, half the guys are gay anyway.

Yeah, I mean, I feel like.

If we were going to put it in a range of things to be upset about, going to Magic Mike would be the least of the things that anybody should

But she's like what twenty one? And also like, how many men have you met at this point? Also, Zach get a haircut.

Yeah, I can't get.

Get a haircut. If you want to be that controlling, you're gonna have to work on yourself a little bit.

You gotta look a little better.

Taylor shows up to Jen and Zach's house for their road trip. Dakota shows up to the house. Things they're tense. Then they have a therapy session for the however long the drive is from Salt Lake City to Vegas.

It's about four hours. Yeah and.

Yeah, I mean between this episode, we're talking a lot about labios, a lot about assholes, and we're just kind of going through it. They're talking about the vicious cycle. Jen is sitting like in the third row, which is slightly confusing to me because who's in.

The front seat.

I don't know who's in the We know how car cams work. Is it Zach in the front seat? Zach's dry, Zach's driving.

No one in the front seat.

Oh, there's nobody. There's a producer in the front seat.

No, producers are never in the front seat.

They're like, I've had producers in the front seat before with an iPhone right at me.

No, our prodigion. No really like laid back in the trunk.

Just like, oh, yeah, I've had that too.

Yeah.

But Zach tries to cool, telling Jen she's a big girl can do whatever she wants this weekend, but he immediately tells her he's just kidding and doesn't mean that. Jen knows Zach has a lot of flaws. He can be controlling and judgmental, but she thinks that comes from him loving and caring too much. And Macy's confessional, she reveals that she is a secret she's been hiding for a while.

Macey of all the time right.

And now that she knows that Dakota and Taylor are constantly fighting, she needs to tell someone about it.

Maybe you could have mentioned this before the pregnancy.

Yeah, maybe maybe.

Jesse tells everyone they need to start getting ready because she bought tickets for the event. Jen asked if her husband wild prove, and Jesse said she'll be fine in the eyes of God. Been Whitney and her family, of course, go to the farm to like trad wife it up. She thinks she wants to run away, but she's never even picked up like horseshit before. They don't seem farm ready.

I know, I feel like, I feel like this was do they have a farm really or did they just borrow a farm?

No, they just went to somebody's farm to try it out. But I'm like, you're trying to escape from a toxic environment, but like, aren't you also a toxic environment?

At this point?

She is, she is the toxic environment.

Yeah, that's my point, Like she needs to shovel some horseshit, a lot of it somewhere else.

But then back in Vegas, the girls are getting ready for Jesse's surprising it out, which I want to be like, this isn't a surprise. We all figured out where you're going already, We've been talking about it for two episodes. Then Macy tells Mikayla about the secret she's been hiding on her center Sunday, where somebody confessed that they hooked up with Dakota before realizing that he and Taylor were together. Which I don't really understand how this is even news.

Well, I mean yeah, but because she talks about he F this and F that and f everybody and f somebody all week long and then f somebody after he AfD her.

So to me, what the F Like, what the F.

And to me, this confession just goes along with what she was already talking about, what she already said, like she knows these things.

Yeah, and then the girls get on a party bus to head to Jesse's surprise. She's scared some of the husband may hate her after this. And then Jesse got them VIP package to meet the guys. She thinks the group could benefit from loosening up. I'mike, Jesse, you know exactly what you're doing. Plus it's Layla's birthday. And then Jen is noticely comfortable and she can't even bring herself to look at them. Layla's taking full advantage her and de me are oiling up the men's abs. I'm like,

Well, yeah, well it's explicit that you're not supposed to gamble, But I don't think there's anything explicit in the doctrine about Magic Mike, correct.

I mean, I mean you're not supposed to cheat, right, You're not cheating.

So going and watching people dance on stage when it's I would understand if it was like a strip club, like if there's an ending in the back there's like.

If they're at Crazy Horse, like going in the back door, Yeah, going in the back room, snorting lines, going for it, but like they're not.

They're being filmed with a essentially, you know, a production of people. Nothing is going to happen, but yet know who the cameras weren't on the entire time.

Zachie boy while he's gambling.

Yeah, So then Jen's husband, Michaela's husband, and Taylor's boyfriend are all upset about them going to magic. Mike decides to call Zach and he makes her cry, and then he tells Jen that he doesn't want to be married to her if she does stuff like this.

You know what I think this is.

You know when somebody's boyfriend or husband gets in a fight with them just because they want the excuse to do bad shit.

You mean you think he got in that fight with her so that he's justified in the gambling.

Yeah, so that he could stay out all night, stop responding to her, make her feel like shit. So then at two in the morning or whatever time, she's going to go find him and blah blah blah, And then there's take up sets and it's all craziness. But I think he wanted space and time, so he wanted to make her.

Feel like shit.

Yeah, and he did. He did a good job.

Of that, and all the girls watched it. Yeah, so we'll get into that in the next episode. So make sure you guys keep listening to the Secret Lives of Mormon wives and popping off with us.

Appreciate thanks for listening. Bye.