Welcome to Dirty Rush, The Truth about Sororiti Life with your hosts me Gia Judice.
Daisy Kent, and Jennifer Kessler.
Welcome back to another episode of Dirty Rush. I'm Daisy Kent and today I'm here and joined by Trista Setter and Megan King.
Thank you guys for joining me today.
Thanks for having us.
Yeah.
So today we're going to be breaking down all of the abundant and sometimes controversial advice about rush circulating on the Internet, and we're really going to debunk the advice that is BS versus Bible and tell you what you really need to know to have a successful rush. So to start off, where did you both go to school?
I was Ole Miss Hattie Toddy.
Oh my gosh. Fun. One of my best friends from Vegas. She went to Old Miss.
It's It's a It was the cultural shock for me, but it was every bit of college I could have ever wanted.
And then some yeah, and then where did you go? Trista?
I went to Indiana go Hoosiers. Oh I did know that, yes with not with Ben, but Ben also went their way after me. And I was in Alpha Kai.
Oh my gosh cool. And what you know you were in Alphakai and Megan, did you say what you were in?
No, I was a Kappa Kappa gamma.
Okay, cool.
What's the phrase that goes? Was it in a movie or something like Kappa gappa gamma? Can I or is it?
Yeah, there's like there's a several There's like I'm so happy that I am a Kappa kapa kapa gamma.
And there was some bad ones.
That we don't need to say, but that was the I think that's is that one you're talking about.
Something like that, like kapacamba gammack? Can I help you?
Help you help y'all?
Or I can't remember what it was, but every time I hear someone say cappa gamma, it's like on the tip of my tongue, like remembering something for some day but I can't place it.
Yeah, it is so funny, all like the different sayings that like different sororities have. Yes, totally, it's so funny. And then Trista, your daughter Blakesley, is she planning on going through recruitment?
I don't actually know. It will depend on where she goes, but at this point she's thinking of California and SDSU is right up there, which I would love for her to follow in your footstep.
I loved Stsu I mean.
Right, and then USD is probably her top and I just I think it'll just depend on the school.
Yeah, Thor's sister also went to USD. So if Thor my fiance.
Is, oh yeah, and.
She's only a year older than us Or, then she's only a year older than me and Thor so if she wants to talk to her too, she's so nice.
Someone totally talked to her. Also, thank you.
I will let her know. Of course she'd be all about talking to Daisy, but she loves me so much, so.
Yeah, she's so sweet.
And then Megan, I saw that is it true that you dropped out of your sorority?
Yes, and I did not want to.
I mean, like you were saying, trista kind of depends on the school, like whether or not you rushed and has a huge creek life, and it's a big part of I wanted it to be a big part of my experience at all miss and so that was definitely a school I wanted to rush if I want to, and it did. So anyways, I become a Kapa Kapa gamma. I'm i go to I went to an all girl high school. By the way, Trista, you grew up in Saint Louis. I grew up in Saint Louis.
Stop where.
I grew up in Crestwood, and I went to Narings Hall for high school.
Oh my gosh, how I know it's a thing in Saint Louis that anytime you like meet someone who is from Saint Louis, you have to ask where they went to high school.
Like it's a thing, really definitely a thing. But it's also relevant to the story.
And I'll tell you why, because I went Scenarios Hall, which is an all girl Catholic high school.
Again, like a very normal thing in Saint Louis.
So for me going in my freshman year, it was normal for us to like bring girls to dances like from other schools or whatever, or like go to other girls school dances with them, and so same thing. I just like applied that same thing to a sorority and I went to a dance with my girlfriend and the president was like, you cannot go to this dance you were a woman, or insurance doesn't cover women.
I'm like, that's literally not how insurance works. I mean.
And she's like, you can this is private property. You need to leave right now unless you tell me you're not a lesbian.
And I'm like, oh so, I'm like, that's not your business. I'm not telling you that. I was so upset. They were like this book to call on the police. So I left. I went home back to my dorm crying.
A couple of days past, I have to go to standards at Kapa kat Gamma and that's the basically the p Boll's office, and they said to me, I need to write an apology note to the present president of that sorty and I was like, okay, I can say like I'm.
Sorry for offending her, I guess, but like I'm not sorry for what I did.
And the follow so I did that, and then the following chapter meeting we had, KAPA made an announcement that we were not allowed to bring any girls to dances ever under any circumstances. And I'm like, how do I stand with an organization that like, I'm morally opposed to their viewpoint.
I can't do that.
I was so upset. I wasn't trying to make a point. All I had to do was say I'm not a Lesbigan. But that's not advocating for anybody or helping anything now.
So I so I resigned.
Good for you.
That is crazy because I even think about, like when I went to Stsu, like if like girls didn't want to bring like a guy from like like a frat or something like, and like a couple of times I brought like my girlfriends. I was in Alphae and like two of like my really close friends were in pi FI, and so I would like bring one of them to like our date dash or something like that.
It was pie Fi by the way, it's the story.
Oh oh my gosh, that's Cruze. So it was that president that Yeah.
So pi Fi's president was the one who got mad at you.
Correct, got it okay? So not Kapa ka Pagamma.
But they still made me write an apology note and then they changed the rules.
And this is ole Miss two thousand and three.
That's what I was going to ask.
What year two thousand and three as a freshman, ole Miss was the lud public university to be integrated. In nineteen sixty four, there was they had to bring in the National Guard. Billy joelsings about it in his song we Didn't start the fire.
Like ole miss is historically a really conservative school set in their ways, and so like the fact that it happened didn't surprise me. I just never anticipated that that would be a thing. But hopefully things have.
Shown for sure.
It's also like your friend in Pi Fi invited you exactly.
Exactly what the heck a high school too in Florida.
I was not expecting that. I actually dropped my senior year because they were, well, it was like during COVID. So I was like, I'm not going to pay like right two grand or whatever it is, and we're not going to have any events or anything.
Yeah, that makes sense.
Yeah, I was like, So I lived in the house the beginning of junior year and then I moved out the second half of junior year because I went abroad, and so I got a girl to fill in my
like lease or whatever, like my spot house. I got her to fill it in, and then but the house like didn't have enough money and like not all the spots were being filled up because like COVID had started, and so they were trying to make me pay my like live in fee still oh god, And I was like, no, I'm like not paying a living few when I got a girl to cover my spot just because like girls didn't get theirs covered, and like because COVID things happening,
but it was crazy and then sounds like COVID Yeah, no kidding, but they weren't gonna let me like not pay it. And so then like the end of my junior year, I was like, okay, whatever. And then honestly, like senior year, no one had like date dashes or like we didn't do anything, and because like we couldn't, we just all hung out with our friends still and whatever. So the only thing I didn't get to do is wear the like alpay sash.
But you can borrow one, I'm sure from somebody.
Yeah, I'm sure.
Just photoshop it into your picture.
Yeah that's what I asked for, isn't it.
Yeah exactly.
Yeah, But COVID was just like a weird time, very everyone extremely Yes.
Yeah, the whole like thing about the sororities. It's interesting that you brought that up because when I think about sororities, I think about them and my experience as a social thing.
Like I just wanted to go to ale miss overpay to buy some friend group and like go to some fun.
Parties, like I was.
I hate to admit this, but I'm going to because I don't think it's that weird. I had zero interest in philanthropy at all, like at all.
I think that's most people.
Probably most people do it for like the party is social.
You meet your friends that way, Like I am still friends with my with my sorority sisters to this day. We were literally texting each other this morning because someone one of them has lost their mom and we sent her a gift, and you know, it's it is. That is what it is about. At least it was for me too. In Indiana is a massive Greek system to the point where almost everyone lives in the house, like they're huge houses. I'm sure it's same metal miss, but
but yeah, it is. It's that's the reason. I mean, that's the priority reason I think for most people is just a really easy way to meet your people.
Yeah, community, like make the huge experience a little bit smaller community with like minded individuals. For sure, that's the hope, at least until they tell you can't bring girls to it.
Oh right, yeah, yeah that's crazy.
Okay, so we're gonna jump into some question.
So it's kind of like things that like Instagram pages or like rush like coaches have said and we're gonna say if it's true or not, and or like our opinion on it.
So Rushworthy says.
In quotes, do you make steady eye contact, don't look around the room or over the shoulder constantly?
Is this BS or Bible?
I would say for sure that it's a really good piece of advice because when you're rushing, you're trying to connect with the people in the sorority. And I feel like it's just that that piece of advice, like making steady eye contact and not looking around the room is just a level of respect, Like you're you know, you're showing this person that you're having a conversation with them, that you respect them and you're not hoping to be
somewhere else. And I feel like whenever I'd in a conversation with someone and they are not looking in my eye or not constantly, like you don't have to be like, you know, let's have a staring contest. Yeah, first one to blink, but not looking around the room, because that just signals to someone that you don't feel like they're worthy of your time and you want to be somewhere else. So I feel like one hundred percent Bible, like this is great advice. Yeah, just to show a level of respect.
Yeah, I agree.
I feel like even in like like going forward in all life things. I honestly think through recruitment is like a really good thing for you to like learn how to talk to random people.
It's a it's a job interview.
I mean it's it's like it's yeah, that's life skill advice right there. Like make eye contact, be respectful, show interest, be curious, be joyful, don't be judgmental, Like I mean you can do that with your eyeballs.
All of those things.
Yeah, it was so funny.
I like think about like all my friends when I got back from the bachelorally like a few years ago, they were like, what was it like, And I'm like, honestly, it was kind of like I was going through sorority recruitment.
Oh my gosh, I bet.
That's so funny. I totally see that.
Oh my gosh, gosh. Now I feel so stressed out for you.
Yeah, like you have to put your best foot forward. You have to, you know, feel like you're interested and involved and show respect and be fun and be yourself yeah, so.
Yeah, okay, we'll go into the next one. So recruitment ready says, do not tell other friends, ladies, moms, boyfriends, etc. What sorority you want before you have even gone through recruitment. Do not even share your top three favorites. Is this BS or Bible?
I think on the surface, it's it's good advice, like how you should operate and carry yourself because you want to remain open minded. Yeah, but like if you're if you're politicking for yourself, the smart thing to do is like drop little hints, plant little seeds and like see what may grow.
Yeah.
No, I feel like you can definitely talk to like your mom about it. Is she gonna call it savage sorority at the school. I'm sure there's some like crazy moms out there that.
Though probably true.
So if your mom's not crazy, then you can.
Exactly or your best friend who's not even going to the school, Like, I mean, the chances that there's going to be a connection there is pretty slim. Yeah, And I think if they're trusted people, then then why not and just say, you know, I'm just telling you this, you know, get.
Yes or whatever.
But is that really a thing like Obviously I haven't rushed into a very long time, so I don't know, And it's so much has changed with social media and all of that. But is that a thing like you're not supposed to talk about where you want to to pledge.
I don't think like to like not definitely, not to the sororities. But I remember like my roommate because she her brother went to SCSU, and I had like no idea what like sorority was or anything, and like she just kept telling me. She was like, you want to be an Alphie, pi Fi or Akio. Then I was like, oh, okay, Like I'm sure like dependent on like what school you're at, but I also feel like they're all like being open minded.
Like what you were saying, Megan is like so important when you're going into it because you never know and you don't want to be with like a bunch of girls you don't mesh with well.
And I think like your experience is going to be different based on like your relationship with the school or like any legacies that may have been in the aurorities. So like if you're like me and you're coming in as like from an outside state, not Mississippi, I don't have like a big like Greek connections or anything.
I really had to work work it, and I had to really sell myself.
But yeah, my best friend, on the other hand, she's like legacy for every single sorority you can ever think of, and she's Mississippi through and through, and like everybody's recruiting her. And I think that like what she had to worry about a little bit was getting like too like deluding herself, over deluding herself, like by acting super interested in all these sorties that she's actually not interested in. I think she had the privilege to be able to like narrow it down a little bit earlier.
Yeah, Oh for sure, I feel like it too. It can like it definitely differs, Like what school you go to?
Was al mioss in Indiana?
Was it like did you need like letters or recommendation and stuff like that?
Oh yeah, oh yeah.
I mean it's like I think they're very similar, both of the schools and that and the size and the size of the Greek life at school. But I feel like letters of recommendation are a good thing for anybody, you know, like whether you're at a small school or a large school. I would say like if someone is in that was in that sorority and is recommending you be in that sorority. I mean, who knows how much they pay attention to those things, but it cannot hurt.
I think that they kind of do, depending on who wrote it. And then I think I have a tip I want to share for letters of recommendation, and I think this is kind of in life. That's a big ask to ask someone to write a letter of recommendation for you. And so if you're like just gathering these like from all over the place, I suggest maybe like creating a template and then allowing the person to edit it if they would like, or just sign on it.
I mean, that's definitely skip.
Skips a lot of steps in the process, but it makes it a lot easier on the person you're asking a huge favor from.
Yeah, So for for Alpha Kai, they have actually changed it so that you don't have to write like an actual letter. You wouldn't need a template. You have to log into your account on their website, on the Alpha Kai site, and then you enter like all of this stuff, so you can I think you might be able to upload their resume, but I don't even think you can do that I think you just enter like you know all of the questions that they ask, and I've written
a bunch in the past few years. Actually have three or four that I need to get done as well, one of them being from Oh Wow or ole Miss. But but I I there are some questions that aren't on the resume, like, yeah, they ask what should someone in the sorority that they're paired with ask them? Like what would be some topics of conversation that you can recommend, like things that they're interested in, or where they're from
or whatever. So I always ask the people that I have to write a rec for to let me know that these questions because oftentimes, more often than not, actually I don't know the girl that well the recruit. I just know their parents. So I need to know this stuff from either the parent or the girl herself as to how I should answer. So thankfully, at least for Alpha KI, you don't have to write like a letter
from scratch. My gosh, my gosh, if I had to do that, I don't know if I would say yes to as many as I do.
That's a lot. Like you said, you have four that you need to do.
At least four, I just got asked for one last week, so who knows if more of them will be coming. Yeah, I mean I'm happy to do it, more than happy to do it because I feel like, you know, just the golden rule, treat others how you want to be treated, and when it's Placey's time, when her time comes around, and if she wants to rush, then I want to be able to reach out to those people as well.
Oh yeah, I've gotten ask to write a lot of recks from people like random strangers on Instagram?
No Realay? Yeah, did you do it?
No?
Oh I don't know them?
Yeah right, I'm like, wait a second, I mean I have to have at least a connection to someone in there. Yeah.
Yeah, I haven't written a few, but I'm like, do you really want the girl who like kind of caused a ruckus to write you a wreck?
Like?
Is that?
Do you do?
You know that I dropped it right? That's funny.
Oh my gosh, that's so funny. And so that that's it you guys for this episode of Dirty Rush. Make sure you follow us on Instagram and TikTok at Dirty Rush Podcast so you don't miss new episodes, exclusive clips, and more.