Dubai-Bye-Bye (RHODubai Recap)

Two Teas in a Pod with Teddy Mellencamp and camera j Edge.

Hi, guys, welcome to another episode of Two Teas and a Pod. We are recapping the finale episode of Dubai Bye.

Bye Dudbye Bye.

Isn't it funny that last recap we did we said goodbye bye and that's the name of their party.

Oh?

Hold on, I have a lot of issue you know how I have issues with Yes, I know en Yeah, I mean clearly, but me too. I've got issues. You've got them too, but queen icon legend. I also have issues with tiaras.

And have you ever worn one?

Do I seem like somebody that's worn a tiara?

No?

No, I mean I don't think I've ever worn one. I mean, if I did, maybe it was a joke, like a plastic one for Halloween.

Like from when we went there, Yes, exactly.

Maybe like when I was getting married and they put like a sash and you know, you do that stupid stuff at your bachette party. But other than that, I don't. I'm just believe it or not. This is shocking to you. But I'm not a tir type of girl.

I mean, I know that we're both delicate flower queens that normally sit and thrown.

Wait did you say ice queen? Yeah? I didn't.

I didn't say that, but we can add that in.

But but that's what I read when you said that. Yeah, you're you read my mouth?

Have you seen on Instagram where there's always the person that mouth reads what people are saying, even though oh my god what they're saying.

Do you know that?

I almost lost my shit the other day? Why because I'm in my confessional and you're in there for hours, right, And the producer that was interviewing me, as he asked me a question I was responding, he would go like this no, and then he go he like when I'm talking, he goes like this, like get it out.

And then otherwise he's.

Like, yeah, so start talking right and now just say anything.

So Teddy when last week when you yes, that's what he would do, and I'm like, oh, way, my god. So I told him I go stop.

He's like what I go, you mouth read everything I say and he goes, oh my god, Heather just told me the same thing.

Now everyone. So I'll be do my interview and I go duct tape.

You know, go, well, there is like if you guys follow this Skinny Confidential. I've wanted this, but apparently it's always sold out where there's like a tape that you're supposed to put on your mouth when you sleep, and so you don't like get wrinkles, so you don't get wrinkles, so you don't like clinch your jaws, you don't do whatever. But now I kind of want to try it because

Sophia told me I do it sometimes too?

You do Tamera?

Really? I know, I know I do it too, But I'm curious.

Are we doing it because we're trying to control what's coming out of the persons?

Why or are we doing it because we're like excited for what I do it a lot? You do? Oh my god, you were doing it in.

The OC episode with me. I know we're we can't.

Yeah, you were doing it.

Oh my god, Oh my god, Oh my god. I'm gonna have to watch it again.

I mean, it's so good.

Okay, let's get on to uh, Dubai, let's not.

Let's it's not about me today, Teddy, It's not and a shocking turn of events.

We're actually here to talk about Dubai, but are also control breaks.

So I have steak, teeth steak. It's ten oh seven.

Oh, you have no idea. My cluster must be through the roof Eddie, who's We're on this high protein diet. So it's like eggs and steak and protein powders and more eggs and it's Yeah.

Before we get into this episode, let's talk about reunion looks, because these girls look so beyond hot. Their color that wasn't a multi choice color option palette, because this is.

The way a reunion should be. Everybody in the same color.

Stanbury looks stunning class an. So now Chanel looks exactly like what you would imagine. So over the time, I know, I love the red hair.

It's over the top, but it's not like over the top crazy, No, it's so good. Then we mean I could probably I mean that, Oh my god, I didn't see that thing on our heads.

That's what I'm saying. It's like that is I imagine sitting that for twelve hours?

I couldn't.

Then we've got Brookes, who looks beautiful. I gotta be honest. I don't love Brooks shoe. It's a little thick in the in the toes for me. But she looks stunning. Her hair looks great, her makeup looks great. Then we've got Lisa Milan, who her red is slightly in this picture. It's a little burgundy. Yeah, it's more burgundy.

But I mean, where do.

They find dresses like this because they don't have them on Revolve and that's the only place I go listen.

I think they have designers that reach out to them, unlike us.

Really two seasons and they got designers reaching out.

And it's not Michael Costello.

And then we've got Sarah who her face is just stunning.

And then her face is just stunning. She is, her face is stunnying. She is a beautiful person. That was any But I don't care for this. I don't care for this dress. It looks it doesn't fit well, it's not fit a good body, and it's just so much fabric. It looks like a pantsuit. Yeah, because there's maybe it is thing down the middle. I don't know, but it's not I don't love it.

And we've got Tolene. It's not my favorite either with the and normally I like the way I mean, Toleine's body is incredible, credible.

Who's doing my favorite? I have to fund two three?

Stanbury?

Oh we did it? Yeah? Yeah, I mean that's how I would want to look at her reunion.

Yes, she looks beautiful. Okay, So this episode starts out where Toilene tells Stanberry she should have stood up for her yesterday and Tolene, may you know, I got to say this, Telene may have turned up the heat just a touch too much.

Just because she's not Stanbury for three minutes. I know she would.

Telene was doing all the things, all the things she could to get involved, Like I think sometimes it's like, okay, this is it.

This is the last time. See now you're doing it to me now when you're moving and I'm doing it not, I feel like you can't. Yeah, I know. Now, just don't mimic me, Teddy, don't mimic me.

By the way, I got a DM the other day saying do you find it weird that Teddy is transforming into you? And I'm like really, because I didn't know if I was transformed into her, she's transforming into me.

And honestly, how could you not we talk? We are talking every single day of the week. The only thing that once you start doing this with your hands, that's when we really have a problem.

Yeah, you think you could add that.

To your movements, like just really bring it in, try.

Not to Okay, we got to get back to Dubai.

Okay, Fine, they're at the beach party. Sarah tells Lisa she shouldn't have said Tolene doesn't have a business. Lisa defends herself and Tolene questions if this is an apology. Lisa tells Tolene if she can't be bitchy and not expect to be called a bitch Toleine tells Chanelle that Lisa could stab her and Chanelle would still justify it. Brooks tell Chanel she is very different whenever Lisa's around. I have to say, I realized this is what the whole episode is about to be about.

Yeah, but when your housewife, should you expect other house I have to help you fight your battles.

Well, Tolene's fighting everybody's battles, but I don't necessarily do you think that the ladies are extra hard on Toelene.

They're her for sharing her opinion and they're all opinionated. So, I mean, I know Tolene's outspoken, but I think there'd being a little bit hard on her.

It's not necessarily that I think people are hard on Tolene. It's that we are supposed to believe that there is a closeness between Chanelle and Lisa that I've never felt me either.

That's why I thought I was going crazy. I'm like, am I'm missing something? Because I've never thought that they were that close. Yeah.

So when they so they started doing all these flashbacks of all the times that Lisa has, you know, essentially told Schanell what to do, like take off your gloves or don't wear this or do this or blah blah blah. I never took that as Chanelle really going and doing whatever Lisa wants.

The slashbacks do, Yeah, that's what the flashbacks do.

They try to change your mind or try to reinforce something that probably might even not be true.

So I have a question for you.

You're not going to want to answer it, but you're going to have to right now. If you had a choice, would you rather be good friends with Lisa Milan or Stanbury. Stanbury, Yeah, I know that's the problem.

Even though she was this was not her good episode. No, I just love her. Well did you see her recent thing? I love Lisa too, what but she probably know.

She was just talking about like being with somebody I forget what it is like similar to you and Eddie, like being with somebody who is what's what's the what's the phrase? Like when somebody.

Always ticket he's five years younger. Let's not get crazy. It's not like he's eighteen years younger than me.

Is that what Stanbury and Sergio are?

Yeah, something like that.

But she's like, yes, of course I'm married to a hot young man, but it doesn't mean he's laying around and his box are shorts, doing nothing. Like we're living a life that I wasn't able to live before, and

Yeah, that's what that's where we're at right now.

Since Eddie closed Cut Fitness, it was always work, work, work, work, And prior to that he was at the law firm and it was always work and I never got to see him. And now it's been two years since we close Cut and we spend so much time together. Of course, he's started a new business, is big treat business, but he's at home. It's not like he's getting up and

You want because you don't have little kids. And that's what brings us back to the point of Stanbury and Sergio. Then bringing in little kids, like even if Edwin and I wanted to go travel for three weeks or do whatever, that's not an option unless we're going to take all of our kids, take them out of school. Like I really don't have that option to live a life like that.

No right now, and you won't for a good ten years.

Yeah, I mean even when the other kids, like, we will still have Dove.

Yeah, I mean she's five yet, or she's five, right, she's.

Four, she's almost five. But like today with her like peace sign of like it's.

So cute and that hair.

Everybody's like, why does she have half a head of curly hair and half ahead of straights?

Oh really, yep, so does Eva.

So the outside of her hair is straight and the underneath of her hair is curly, curly curly.

Yeah, like curly beyond curly. I thought curly Dove had neurosurgery.

Maybe it was like because they had to cut like her, like so much of her skull open that like her hair confused, but like this whole side is like she wakes up and it's like a rat's nest of curls and this side is both.

So it's just one side, well except the underneath certain curly no matter what.

But it's so funny. Yeah, everyone's like, brush your hair. Every time I take a picture of her when she was little, I'm like, it is brushed. It's just it's a freaking mess. Yeah, okay, we got we gotta focus. Can we focus?

Oh my gosh, please. Stanbury and Chanelle meet for lunch. They decide to have a goodbye Dubai party together and they record a video invite. This relationship, to me feels a little bit like, with our powers combined, we can guarantee a third season either way. Then we're gonna pivot to Sarah helps her son with his homework. Sarah says that her son is so traumatized she can't even leave

And then a.

Keen holds up on her, like, why do I feel like Sarah rented a keen for a storyline? I mean, this wouldn't be the first time an housewife is rented a boyfriend run a man.

Do you think that maybe Sarah didn't let a Keen know, like I'm gonna break up with you on camera, Like she was probably like, Hey, in ten minutes, I'm going to FaceTime you on camera.

It kind of looks that way, but I kind of feel like it's all set up.

Yeah, that's always like how when n Asina set up, I'm like, this is just not it's not hitting.

Right, But also who hangs up at that point? Why not make a comment back? Why not be like, explain to me what's going on?

It was like thank you, and.

Except she's describing a keen in a very different way of what we're saying. What we're saying is he's very checked out, he's removed, blah blah blah. She's like, he's obsessed, he's stalking, he's in love with me, he can't get buying that.

I'm sure we're going to be hearing from a keen.

But also then why is a keen still in Germany?

Is that? Upsays to you would have moved his asked to Dubai already, Right, maybe a keen will be at the reunion. I do not think we'll be seeing you don't think. I think we may be seeing a keen on the next season of Love Island or that would be a good choice. Right, you should be a cast director.

You know what, it's my next job. Then Stanbury and her daughter, Yes Mien, go horseback riding. Stanbury tells he has me and she had to talk with Sergio about the baby, but she doesn't want one right now. And Yasmine says that the only reason you're bringing a child into the world is for Sergio, and that's unfair to the child. Stan Bury says, maybe it's time to look for a surrogate.

I think, I think if it's gonna happen, gonna be sarrogate. It's not going to be her. She's got a new body since last season got now it's not in body, So I mean, she's been open about it.

That's why I say that. But Caroline doesn't think.

Carolyn doesn't think Sergio wants a baby only because of her age. He wants to move it forward so quickly. But if she announces at the reunion she's pregnant, I don't think it's ever coming.

Oh, she's not gonna. I think she's gonna announce that she's having a surrogate. At that age, she should just adopt like a fifteen year old. Well, I think they will probably have another kid.

I think they will have a surrogate, and I think they will go through all the motions. I think, could you imagine? I mean, I have a four year old camera and I am struggling.

I how old were you when you had her?

So I'm forty three right now, So what was I thirty nine?

That I was thirty eight when I had Sophia? So I get that it is definitely harder. But she's ten years older than you.

No, no, she's not. She's ten years older than you would have been when you had death. She's forty eight. Yeah, I mean that's it's hard.

It's really hard, and it's older you are, the harder it is on your body. I'm not going to mean it happen, but this is not the problem. It's not the actual pregnancy, which is challenging, but it's fifty eight sixty eight taking them to school like you're going to.

Be seventy three flying them to college.

No, that's what I'm saying. No, Kenya had a baby later in life, so you did, and she's talking about wanting to have another one. But the thing is, it's different when it's like your first one. Maybe you had struggles and you couldn't get pregnant and all those and you really wanted a baby, like okay, yeah, do everything you can. But when you have three kids that are teenagers plus that already give you a hard time, that's a lot to ask exactly when you've already like you're

Now I'm going to start over and go to mommy and me and like try to suck my hand.

No, you know, you know that kid is going to go straight to camp. Oh you can walk. You're going away to boarding school. Good luck?

You know what?

They started a TK boarding school.

It's oh my god. Well, then Chanelle facetimes her sister. Chanelle tells the woman that the woman told her she's different. When Lisa's around, Chanelle told Lisa about this comment, and Lisa told her not to bring it up or talk about it because it would make her look like a bad friend. Lisa's controlling and wonders if this is a

Yeah.

Well, everybody arrives at the goodbye party immediately being greeted by Chanelle and Stanbury. They're wearing crowns and sitting and thrones, and they offer their hands for everybody to kiss. I'm here to tell you I would never and we do that when we can't put my old lady palm out for people to kiss.

Like, here's my clause, Claw, I have like the worst hand us no worse.

No nails right now either, right, I don't have That's how I getting my hair right now, Collard.

I'm not kidding me. Nails.

I'm not doing any nothing until I have to. I absolutely have to, don't care.

Well.

Then Brooks brings her much younger guest. She DMed, but there's nothing romantic between them. But then he talks about the showers, and then Lisa refuses to kiss any hand. She says it's thirsty, it's giving forced, it's actually giving nothing.

Nothing nothing.

And I would kiss channel's in Stanbury's hand, or would you just bend over and say kiss my ass?

I think it. I mean I don't know that I would kiss anybody's hand. I think I would give them. I would lean over their thrones.

And like give them a kiss on the cheek. But like kissing her hand is like a different level, like as somebody who loves you know, some passive aggressiveness. This setup definitely is a lesson to be exactly that, like everybody.

Is just that house is pretty nice. Huh, that house was nice.

But then we have to skip to the end where freaking Chanelle blows the door blanket.

Oh my god, that's so funny. And then when they said somebody said maybe a Chanelle or Caroline. When it's summertime in Dubai, like people leave because to leave the whole summer, their tires melt.

Well, that's like Lakina. It's like the people that live in Lakita.

I mean it hits a certain month the country club set like shut down. Everything ends, and then they have to oh, like I need to have my home base.

Well yeah, for sure, for sure when you and I would not be able to survive a summer in palm desert with our melanoma skin.

Stanbury and Chanelle thinking that that video was any thing other than cringe.

I don't even understand what the point of it was.

It makes me wonder like, can they even smell their own farts?

No? No, I can't sell somewhere.

I don't fart that I actually have heard you or was that a kuef?

I can't remember, but I really don't fart. It's because I poop all day long.

Oh my gosh. Well, then Lisa talks with Chanelle. Chanell asks what's the point of declining to talk with them? Lisa tells Chanelle. She asks Stanbury about her supposed bragging comment regarding buying Stanbury's family house, and Stanbury said she never said that.

Chanelle says she never said it.

Lisa swears on her children's life and then said, may God something strike them down, like that's an indentense.

I think she's a dead I swearing my children life a new trendon Housewife Universe. I never heard it quite a bit.

Yeah, I mean, I think.

The issue with all of these fights is the same as Tolene and Brooks fight. It's just constantly over the show and it doesn't land with the audience, and that's why we're not as invested in Dubai.

It should have all the crux.

To like be an amazing show, but we're just watching them fight over who the queen bee of the show is, which is freaking annoying.

Oh, I own somebody in apology who Danielle from Jersey?

Why?

Well did you see all the.

Headlines saying that Danielle beat up her brother's sister. I'm like, oh my god, that's not what I said. I said, so many people reach out to us to try to feed us information, and we were talking about that, and I'm like, yeah, I mean this one person reached out and told me that, and then people were writing it as it was fact. I said, it's there's no fact to it. There's no truth to it, Like, it's just how people try to get us to say things.

Yeah, we have no idea. I shouldn't have said that. I just shouldn't have said that.

It was what you were saying when people were messaging you. But speaking of people messaging us, you know, the episode ends where we see essentially the demise of Chanelle and Lisa's friendship over what looks like a jealousy between her and Stanbury's relationship. But then all of a sudden, Chanelle is hysterical. She blows her nose into like Valentine, she takes her clothes off.

What's the future of Dubai? What do you think?

So, I mean, I have no idea where it means this show lands. I think the biggest thing for me when it comes to Dubai is these women have to at least like each other a little bit, and that's.

The problem they don't.

And I think we'll see what happens at the reunion, and I think by Andy's tone, we'll see how he feels and where this show is going. I do think there's aspects of Dubai that is incredibly interesting, and there's personalities that I really love, but it's just not meshing well together. So I don't know if that just needs more time. And when I go back and watch Real Housewives Orange County season two, I'm like, this licked it so like it does take it.

It does take time, but that was way back in the beginning, so you can't compare that if you want to compare, compare like New York because they're a fairly new show new cast. Yeah, it'll be interesting to see what they end up doing with Dubai. They continue, well, I guess we'll I guess we'll see once we get to the reunion.

But I mean it.

It wasn't the world's best finale and the husbands are even just like, what the hell is going on? It seemed very checked out, very produced, and not my favorite, even though I love them individually, together it's a little bit tough