Diamonds in the Rough: You Asked, Erika Spills

Hi, guys, Welcome to another episode of Diamonds in the Rough with myself Teddy Mellencamp.

Hey, I'm Erica Jane without my lashes. I had to tear them off because my allergies.

I knew.

When I saw a little drip, I was like, yep, she's gonna rip those off.

We both did that.

Yeah, I didn't take my allergy meds and just doing her out. Yeah. So if you see me with puffy eyes and lashes, it is what it is, y'all.

It is what it is.

So last episode we did a Q and A with me. This episode we're doing a Q and A with Erica.

Okay, let me have it all right.

So the first question is what Broadway show, if you could pick any, would you want to do next?

Fuck? Okay, okay, Cabaret. I don't know. Yeah, there's so many I need to look, but that just like pops up. But I don't know. I don't know that i'd be right for it, do you know what I'm saying? But I think I being on Broadways like a gift.

Know what? I think you would be so good at. I mean, I know it's not currently on Broadway, but it's one of my favorite musicals.

Which gentlemen prefer blonde?

I mean, come on, does it get any better than that?

Now? Gentlemen prefer blondes? Or what's the one with tits? And chorusline?

But myself a fancy pair tightened up the dairy. I love she was great. I love that show. Chorus line was amazing. That's such a good.

One because truth it's so good and all and you got to really invest in all the case.

Don't pop the head or don't pop the hip? Oh yeah, honey, she could not. She was a soloist.

Oh my gosh, that was a good one. Would you go on the next season of Love Hotel?

We want to see you dating.

I want to date too, but not in Love Hotel?

But are you going to date on?

I would if I don't, I'm not opposed to it. I'm not opposed to it. It's just a matter of finding Here's what, guys, Just to be straight up truthful, I don't mind dating and having fun with people. I really don't. I'm not looking to get married. I'm not looking to move him with someone or like anything like that. I would like to go out, would like to have fun, I would like to really, I've been married basically all

Well. Remember one of our most fun nights.

I don't think they showed it, but we were in the Bahamas and we went to the nightclub afterwards, and we're all like dancing and having fun.

That type of night or like then maybe some guy was like flirting with you or something.

Yeah, I think that's a good way to tie it in where you had to have a like it didn't happen in a Bahamas and like we were all at that point.

We were such a good time, and I think sometimes you don't get to see that. And you know, they say we want to see you dating. Yeah, I want to see me dating too, But I want to also spend time with people that I would actually spend time with. Yeah, not and and and people that I find interesting And I'm somebody that dates way out of like what you may think I do like, I like nerds, I like I like a lot of my I like I have a wide breadth of people that I find interesting. But

You're not gonna go sit, You're not gonna go do like some one of the shows, like I think it was put or something they did like speed dating?

Well, actually that would actually be fun, because I don't think I would. I'm also an odd.

Do I wonder how you do ut speed dating?

Probably not well because I like to get to know people. I don't really I mean, yes, you judge people in the first what millisecond that you meet them, but oftentimes I can be wrong.

How long did it take for you to decide that you would want to go on a day with Tom?

A year?

And Tom a year? I waited on Tom for a year.

But did you like him immediately?

Mister Girardi, which is how I met him? Obviously? He's Tom to me. Was the kindest, nicest person to everyone, from the valet to the bus boy, to the waiter to the cocktail waitress. The owners loved him. He was a solid guy all the way around. So I knew him for a year before we ever went on a dinner date. Yeah, so I'd actually watched this man for a year.

And then how long did you wait to have sucks?

Months?

Months for Peters.

Sa doing that? Now, that was a different time in life. Like now, I'm not waiting at all. And I have no problem saying that because because bottom line is, I'm in a different place in my life. So if I like you and I want to have sex with you, whether it's tonight, tomorrow, whenever, I'm going to be very upfront with that. Yeah, And I have no shame in saying that. And I'm I'm grown and I can do whatever the fuck I want and I will do it.

And if something feels right, I will do that. Yeah.

If I feel comfortable, Yeah, and he feels comfortable then.

And it seems like an enjoyable experience, then why not?

What are we waiting for? I mean, what what so you can respect me? How about this? Don't need it? Don't need it? You know, it's just it's not I'm a really grown up. Well I hate to say this because it sounds so trite, but it's like, what is it that you're going to do? Marry me. That's not in the cars. I don't want that looking for someone kids. Wait, that's in the review. So we're here to have fun

But if you if you started hanging out with somebody and you were enjoying them, would you ask them do you come on Real House Lives?

That's a really difficult ask. And I'll tell you why. It takes a specific person it. Listen, how many wives have we seen fail?

Yeah?

Do you know? Meaning that you think you know what this? I don't know that I could do that to somebody that isn't already in the public eye. To take someone that doesn't have any type of experience with being on reality or being in a public forum to ask them to come on a show like.

This, then it makes us seem a little phony.

But they don't do well, they're not themselves, and it's not fair because then they receive like if you you could ruin someone's business being on this show.

Within seconds, they can say one wrong thing and edit.

That's my point. You could, honest, you could innocently bring someone as a plug one to an event. They could say something that and then really be harmed by it, not really knowing what's going on. And I don't know that about that. So if I brought someone on, it would have to be somebody that gets the game. Only into the game players, don't hit me up if you're not in the game.

Yeah, to be on the show.

Yeah, Well in life too, Like there's a certain game that I'm playing that not everybody's playing. And it's not about your money.

It's not about your money.

It's not about your money.

Is it about confidence, Yes, it is.

It's about in confidence, intelligence and accomplishment and kindness. Kind well, yes, kindness too. But I mean, if you really want to get down to it, it's about your life experience. You gotta have some experience or you gotta have massive careers. You can't be a lot of charisma.

Well that's called riz now.

Yes, it is for the for the kids.

The riz theris you gotta have the risk. Sorry, slave's best friend calls me the wrizzler.

I kind of like that for you, the rizzler.

How's the wrizzler? Okay?

Was there ever a moment you almost quit r h obh And if so, what stopped you from quitting?

Yes, I wanted to. I sincerely thought about quitting during the worst of my legal troubles. And what made me not quit was two things. I didn't want to be a quitter. This is so wild, and I again, it's one thing to watch the show, it's another thing to be on the cast. It's a completely different thing. And

Yeah, what was the timeframe?

Right?

When it was during the worst of my legal troubles, So it was probably right that season where I drank a lot and blacked out a lot. Yeah, whenever that was a couple of years ago.

Yeah, I think that was like two seasons ago.

Yeah, yeah, Okay, how much of Erica Jane is still Erica Girardi when the cameras are off? And can you explain this to people? Because I listen to your ted talk. Yeah, so I feel like that's when honestly, like a lot of the things that I learned was through that, and I was able to connect with you in a different way. But I think people get a little confused about this Erica Jane versus Erica Gerard.

I think again, this comes down to performance persona and like what but we could also say this, there's also Teddy Mellencamp that's that I know, and Teddy Mellencamp that's on here, right. So it's like when I used to see my judge friends on the bench and they would be tough as fuck and then they'd be like fun, or my friends that are in law enforcement that are tough as fuck, but then they're nice people. So Erica Jane is a I'm not saying that there's our performance personas,

But I think when you're on Beverly Hills, you're Erica Girardi.

Yeah, but this isn't of course I'm Erica. But you know we're talking about an engineered reality, right, So the show is based around our lives, and yes, it's all true. I wish that mine wasn't true, Okay, whenever somebody says, oh that's not true. I wish the ship I was going through was not happening to me. But it is, and it is very much reality. Now, I can't speak

Right? Yeah, that makes sense.

You know, is there a moment with Tom that you've never discussed that still haunts you?

Yes? Yeah, but what but I can't because it's just it's what about one on the show? No, the show is nothing compared to what I've experienced in real life.

Okay, what about that scene where it was like you and LVP and it's the first time you can tell he's kind of.

Oh at home? Yeah? That I mean, you know, watching that back is so funny because when you're in it, you can't see it, and you watch it back now and you're like, wow, I really lived like that yeah, and that that that's that's hard because you go, wow, I really lived like that. Yeah, I really lived like that.

There's some housewives that talk about how they have zero relationships with the people that are on the show when they're not filming. How's your relationship with the cast when you're not filming.

I think it's pretty good. I think with the women that I'm close with, you're not close with everybody in the cast. You're just not. You have different you relate differently with different women on the show, and you're closer with some than others.

Who do you think you're closest with?

I see you every week.

I'm not on the show.

A fuck, see I'm not how about that, I'm not on the show. I forgot you're not on the show.

I'm not on the show.

Fuck I totally forgot about that.

And you can't say running either.

And I talk to her every week. Well, sometimes we mess up, but I text with Cobb and texting, but I've been close with uh Derey and Kyle going through all of these these their separations and whatever they're going through in their lives. I text with Setting every now and then. We send each other cat's stuff. Nothing heavy both. I've you know, we're friendly. There have been some weeks that I text her, some weeks that I don't. Yeah, but yeah, but.

If you were to get into trouble and you could only call one of them, who would it be?

I can't call you because that's overwhelming.

You can't call me because I'm not on the show.

Oh on the show? I thought she meant in her agree, No, probably.

Bows she gets shipped done.

Yeah, she's tough, meaning that she's real clear.

She could get someone out of some trouble.

Or she's a really good critical thinker.

Yeah.

Yeah, she's a clear thinker.

You us have never met her. You need to.

Yeah, I think you'd really like her.

If you could go back to when you were twenty five years old, what advice would you give yourself?

Just keep going, it's going to work out. Well, let me think what was I doing when I was twenty five? I was already a mom, I was already divorced.

Does that haunt you at all? Are you like? No, that happened just right?

I it is what it is. I think I would say to myself, you're on the right path. But you know, it's interesting because I don't really live my life with regrets saying oh, that shouldn't have happened, or because you gave something. I believe anyway, you gain something from everything you go through, even like all this terrible shit with Tom, I've learned a lot about myself, about others, about life. I've come through a whole like thing. So do I regret anything? The answer is no. But could I have

So what would happen if somebody, if you started dating somebody and they started talking to you that way?

Again, that's not gonna I can tell you right now. I did kind of have that happen, and I revolted, like I literally physically strong. It took me about thirty seconds.

Oh really, See, I mean I think that's the scary think.

It's one of the reasons why I'm not easily approachable either.

Yeah, because you know what you do definitely don't want.

And I don't think that I put out come talk to me vibes. Yeah, and I think it's a problem. I've talked to my therapist about it, like how do I get past you know, I've been through a couple of things post T post Tom, and I've been through a couple of things, and I've I've had some adverse reactions to people, like talking to me, I say a verse. It's not dramatic, but just like inside where you're like, so, yeah, I have to get past that.

But you say that, But that's I.

Think when it comes to complete strangers. But if it's a friend of a friend or something, you're very warm and open to them.

Yes, which I don't think people know about you.

If I feel safe like with someone that I'm very sweet and very warm is if I don't know you.

I don't know you, and now you've given me a red.

Flat right, I don't know you. I don't trust you. Yeah, I think everybody's I don't even want to put this out because I think what you say carries weight. But I think everybody's an enemy.

That's how it starts.

Everybody is an enemy, male or.

Female, all of them.

Yeah, anybody is out to get anybody. No one is friendly. So but then when I get to trust people, and like Teddy says, the Erica that they know is completely different than the Erica that you'd be like, what, that's not good.

That's like I've introduced you to a complete stranger before of yours and you're warm and because I've said this is somebody that I know, right, and I said, oh yeah, like immediate and asking questions like something Erica is really good at, which I would say a lot of people in this industry are not.

Is asking questions, Yeah.

Because a lot of people are so self obsessed or absorbed.

Why my ticket to know others? And I will also remember and I will say, oh I remember if I see someone again, I remember we spoke about your apartment.

Do you remember how is your.

Daughter doing at college? I know you said that she was at wherever. I listen to what people have to say.

So when we see on Beverly hillstar I've seen in real life. Is like we could be driving past a building and you'll know, like all of the information about it. Is that like something you studied or is that just any time that you have a memory, your mind just retains it.

Well, I don't want to go on record as saying I remember everything because there are some people who do. But if I'm interested in something, which I'm really interested in architecture, I know that's why and history and shit like that, then I can tell you, oh, you know that building, da da da da, because I've probably looked at it online. And then I'm just the things that

Can you remember people's names, because that's something I need to work on.

I need to work on that. It depends I remember, and I've said this many times, I don't really remember what people look like. I remember the feeling I had around them. So I remember whether somebody I thought they felt smart to me or they felt kind to me, meaning like they gave off an aura of kindness or intelligence or capable or something like that.

Yeah. Yeah, what's your favorite childhood memory?

My god, Okay, I'm three years old. I remember my three year old birthday party. It's a very brief memory, but my grandmother's holding me and she's like, Oh, there's your grandfather, and now you're gonna ask me why do you remember this because it's my father's father, and I didn't know my dad.

Do you remember what he looks like and everything?

I can't. I can't only remember her holding me and the gift he gave me, which was like a little carousel. But I can't see him making me emotions. Oh no, no, no, nont But I remember. I became conscious that this is gonna sound crazy, But I remember when I was three. I remember my three year old birthday party, and then I remember three being great, and I remember kindergarten being fabulous. I fucking loved kindergarten. Kindergarten was my favorite academic year.

Did you have like mini mouse ears and do all these? No?

But my I had a playdate with every little boy in my kindergarten class, and we would ride bikes and catch turtles and go on picnics. So my mom always kept my bike in the trunk of her car because I would go on a playdate with all my different friends.

And when it comes to things with your dad or your grandpa, Yeah, those little memories that you do have, do you save them in some capacity or like write them down, or they just are always living in your mind.

They're living in my mind. But you know, my grandfather gave I had a go car, an a b begun, but he would you know, and used to ski. We had a lakehouse, so he was constantly driving. He was constantly pulling my ass around on skis or slaloming and our lake house. And you know, he was the first person to put a rifle in my hand. And yeah, you know, like and I had to go car and I was fishing. I was up like a like very tom girl. Yeah something girl like you you know, just southern girl. Yeah.

And sorry, now now I'm now I'm asking my own person questions. But when it comes to the stuff, you know, with your dad or your grandpa is there do you have any like resentment towards your mom or is it all towards him.

I think it's a fifty to fifty thing. I don't think that. Look people every but my mother was young, so was he. But it's a fifty to fifty thing. People do what they want to do, you know. I think it's a fifty to fifty thing.

They asked if we'd ever go in a double date. I for sure would me too, But I don't know that we have the same type.

But I but a date. Let me just say something going back to friends, right, dates, Dates do not mean we're running off with them and getting married. Right Like, if you're seeing somebody and you said it, come on, let's go, Eric, I'd be like, of course, I'm actually very easy to get along with that. I do a lot of shit, So yeah, I'd love to do something like that. I think that's cute.

I would do a.

Double day with you a million percent. But who do you think should be the picker of the two guys?

You or me?

You?

And I'll tell you why, because you are far more I can roll with the punches. We've seen she this one. You need more control? Yeah, and you deserve the control right now. I'm just along for the ride, like whatever, okay, perfect, well, and we could have fun and it's not like there's no pressure to like there's your dreams. Let me also say this, when I talk about dating, I'm not talking about somebody to come save me or rescue me. I'm talking about I'm living my life in the present moment.

Let's have fun.

And I mean I'm here to tell you like there was I was recently at an event, but he was like, Oh, can.

We set you up with this this man?

Yeah?

And I mean maybe he had riz, but he had none of the other things that I would enjoy.

And they're like, you don't understand how rich he is, and I was.

Like, I don't.

At this point in my life. I couldn't care less. Yeah I could. I would rather.

Hustle and slang every single thing that I can on Instagram than do with somebody that I know is going to have complete control over me and that I do not find attractive and that.

There's a lot to be said there, and I think that. So I've been totally on my own for almost five years now, and while it's scary, there's something to that that what you're saying about having complete And I don't know that I could be talked to like that again at that dinner you brought up. I don't know that

It's a lot. It's a lot trying to shrink yourself or.

Trying to or think.

Then when you're not trying, it's weird. It's like you're trying to shrink yourself. But then you also need to impress them.

You need to carry your weight, yes, but then you need to not uh change on them. And then and I'll never forget Doug Ross saying Doug.

Ross is one of the producers, used to be one of the heads of Evolution, which he produces housewives.

This is years ago. Well, how has Tom taken to you being on? I thought, you know, well, who's fine with it? Well, sometimes men, you know their wives. I was like, well, no, Tom's had a lot of a lot of success and a lot of turns in the sun. He would ever feel any type of way about me. He would be so thrilled for me. Cut to nine years later. That was not the case.

Of course, it wasn't the case. You felt that way.

You hadn't been in that situation before that's right, and then the second that you were.

Well, it took took years. But then at the end, like before I I mean, it was like there were some things that came out of Tom's mouth that I literally thought, My God, is that you in there?

And I wouldn't say this to my worst enemy.

My God, is that you in there? Like is this how you've really felt about me the entire fucking time?

Gosh, guys.

Well, the thing that we can say in closing is life can be really freaking hard, but it also can be amazing. And I think the more that we open up and the more that we talk about stuff, the good, the bad, and the ugly, the better our lives are gonna be.

I think also to no one in life does not go through this with partners like on, so you may not experience it the way we experienced it or you experienced it. And yes, we had lived. We choose, we choose to lead public lives, so obviously we're up for whatever interpretation. But everybody goes through something like this, Yeah, we're just like, what what the fuck is going on?

Speaking of I want to know, Okay, whoever our listener was that wrote in and said she wanted to go to lunch with her best her ex boyfriend.

No, no, it wasn't a next boyfriend, it was a friend. She was married to the controlling husband. She was going to go see a friend. But is it worth it? Right?

Was it worth Did you go see him? I need to know did you see him? And what happened and give us all the We need some kind of follow up on some of these things.

And I wanted to follow up by saying this. I was watching our clips the other day. I'm not saying you can't have friendships. I'm saying, underneath the conditions that you said, I have a controlling husband, is it worth it? And I said, no, it's not worth it.

And I'm curious if you have done it, and if so, was it worth it?

Because maybe if you can get away with it, sure, But do you want to be married to somebody controlling as somebody?

But you have to get away with things?

That's point.

When you're doing nothing wrong.

That's my point. And you're going to be made to feel like you were doing something wrong and all you were doing was meeting with a friend. Yeah, life is too short for this shit.

Life is too short, you guys. Life is short even on its longest days, like my new tattoo, which.

By the way, I know that's such a beautiful thing.

Thanks guys, well, we appreciate you for tuning in.

We will be back next week if you have any questions, thoughts, concerns, you want to leave it out for.

Us thoughts concerns. Oh wait, should we have that one question that we were.

Like, eh, the question was where do you stand with Denise and LVP. For me, Denise I have not spoken to in a very long time. Apparently she was reaching out to me when I was in the hospital, but I don't know. I wasn't talking to anyone. But I can say this is everything that I had thought about Denise, and the person that she was in real life is what we saw on her new show. So the persona and that's what always drove.

I'm simply saying.

The part that irritated me so much about Denise was she was performing to be.

Somebody that she really was.

On her new show, she seems to be more open and relaxed in herself and not as worried about pretending to be this Beverly Hills housewife, and that made me go Okay, good, I'm glad she came around LVP. I've not seen in the flesh in a couple of years. I think the last time I saw her was the night of the James Kennedy fiasco, the one, not the most recent one, but a couple times ago. And I was at Tom Thomas after the MTV Awards and I walked by her and I said.

Hello, what did she say to you?

And we probably talked for like five minutes, but it was it was whatever. Do I think she'll ever probably say anything nice about me?

No? Do I need to say anything nice about her?

No?

No?

Yeah, no, what about you?

I saw Denise because I did her show. Oh yeah, it was cute and I had a nice time with Denise. Denise can be for Denise. Her life is wild, Yeah, it is wild. Her life is wild, like God bless her because we couldn't do it. I can't do that. No, And I'm not saying anything bad about it. It's just I need a little bit more structure, just a little bit. Lisa vander Pope, I have not seen in years.

Have you seen her since she didn't come on the show anymore? No, I don't think so that I mean because that's the thing.

They make Beverly Hill seem like it's such a small town that we see everybody all the time, but we don't.

Well, I think she's moved on, right, Like she's moved on and whatever. I will say this though, I saw her because I get tagged, and shit, don't bring up housewives if you don't want to be as you know, association. She does bring it up a lot, and she.

Does bring up housewives to talk about negative negative.

There was a magician and you know, can you make people disappear? Can you make some housewives disappear? I was like, bitch, let's make you disappear. Why do you like I just leave.

It alone or come back on and fight it out.

Good luck to you all, right, guys, thank.

You here we are being nice. And then we ended on that note. Yeah, come down, come on down.

Talk to y'all soon. Bye bye,