With Alexia Napola and Marisa Patton, an iHeartRadio podcast. Welcome guys, Welcome back to another episode of I Put and with Me Today. Co hosting is a very special friend, Dolores Catanya.
I'm so excited. I always wanted to say, did I say?
You said it perfectly.
You want to know why, because I say it all the time when I watch you. I am actually not only a friend, but I have always been a fan.
Oh thank you. I feel the same way about you. And that's actually how we met. I think we met personally because we were dming and we would talk all the time. But when we met in person, was that Teresa and Louis wedding. Yes, and we had just come up. We had just finished our season four. And by the way, there were a lot of the girls from Jersey were at Teresa's wedding, except for obviously, you know, Melissa and Joey, but all the girls were there, and all of you
were so warm and affectionate and friendly. I had such a beautiful time. But of course I grow up like towards you, because it's like we liked each other. And your son Frankie was the one that came up to me and he's lovely, and I was like so flattered. I was like, oh my god, where's your mom. He's like, Oh, my mom's dying to see you. I'm dying to see her. And so we just had connected right there, and then Frank was there, and Frank hit it off with Todd,
and you know the rest is history. You know, every time we see each other, either in New York or Bravo Con. The last time we saw each other in Vegas, you know, it was really it was really nice.
Well, I don't get enough of you, to be honest, I just don't. I wish that. You know, there's like a lot of times they asked me where else would you film? And I say, I am a Jersey girl at heart. But what you don't know is I have I had a place in Florida for like fifteen years. Frank and I had a place at the Pinnacle.
Oh nice sunny aisles.
Yes, and you know our dream was always my dream to be a snowbird. And I might get there yet, Alexias.
Yes, I want to hear. Yeah. Miami. You know, I feel like Miami is so connected with New York and New Jersey.
Every day here I'm not sharing you with New York.
Okay, I'll take that. I actually was in Boca Raton this weekend. I mean these few days, actually into the weekend with Frankie, and there were so many people there from Jersey. I felt like everybody from Jersey Long Island, like all those places there, everybody moved here to Boca, which is actually pretty nice too.
My cousin Tanya moved to Boka. I missed her so much. How is my Frankie. We love Frankie.
We are thank you, thank you. He's doing great. He's doing really really well. So how do your family?
Thank you? Very good my Frankie. Tomorrow we're going to Portugal with his girlfriend's family. He's in a very serious relationship. I love her.
Yeah, he's very private about his life, so I don't know much about his life, and I love that he keeps his personal life private, unlike us. Yeah, he did the opposite we did, which is probably smart.
Yes, but he's also in a job that he is very temperamental, Like, he's very careful with his job. Frankie works at least like ninety hours a week, and I'm not even exaggerating. I saw him on the beach. He bought a chair with a hole in it and he has his computer underneath, and he puts his face through and he's on the beach with his This is on a Sunday, and he's a lovely girlfriend who puts up with that. But you know, Alexi, he'll give a good
life to somebody. He's raised to be very respectful to women, and so he's very sweet, says his rosaries all the time. He's very well.
I fell in love with him. I mean not only because he's so cute, Like he's as beautiful in the inside as in the outside, and he projects that. So I'm very happy for him. His girlfriend's very lucky to have him. And I'm sure she's a good one because I'm sure he picked a good one.
She picked a good one. So we're having a family bag, his parents and me and Paul and her and Frankie. We're all going to Portugal together tomorrow because that's where her family's from. So I'm very excited about that. I spend a lot more time with Frankie and Gabby. I just got back from Africa with South Africa, which was a very different trip, Alexia, is it well, not the
one I did, but it was very nice. So I was on the back of a pickup truck in the middle of the jungle trying to save rhinos from being poached.
And we aw, is that your charity thing that you do?
No, this is a conservation, No it was this is something. My daughter runs these trips and she has lovely friends. She's found such beautiful people that she works over there, and you know, sometimes they get a snare, you know, the poachers. So here I am working with a wild in the middle of the jungle.
I'm so afraid of animals.
Oh my god, Alexia.
I think they're beautiful to look up, but I'm just a very scared of them.
I had a lion staring in my face, wild lion, Oh my god. And my daughter and her friends were like crying. They're like, this is so beautiful. I'm like, let's get the got it here.
I'm like, I would have like feed in my pants. I honestly, I don't think I could have done that unless there was like guards, you know, with like I don't know, protecting me. I just couldn't. Like my nerves, I just can't do that. So I give you a lot of credit. My friend because that's not the idea I had of South Africa going on an African safari. I need like a glammed one and like protection.
And I was unrecognizable when I came home. But it was so funny. My skin was really good, I guess from all the dirt hitting me in the face and it was.
Oh but fun. I'm happy you got to do that with your daughter, Alexia.
And my mom never came to my things growing up because I didn't have things. I just worked right and my softball game that just passed my mom came to last year for the first time. Like, I don't think my parents actually understand what I do for a living. Totally help me, right, So I.
Don't think we understand ourselves.
No, we do, but you know what, I don't think at all we understand that half the time, so it's not understandable. So anyway, when my daughter asked me to go, I went because I wanted her to know that I'm interested in what she does, and I am. She I'm very proud of her.
I love that. I love that. But like you, you know, I feel like we learned from our parents, and you know, I've also been a very involved mom because of that, because I never had you know, not that I didn't have their support, they just weren't really there physically for me, Like they didn't attend the games, Like I was always involved in everything, but they were always very busy working
so that I can have like a good life. Like that's what they would say, Well, you know why I'm not there because you know, we're working so we can provide for you. Yeah, you know, our children are fortunate that we can give them both.
One hundred percent. And I love that. And now they're grown up, so I'm kind of like finding you know, what's next. But they still need you. They always need you, but the way they used to it's not so much hands on. It's more of a mental thing now, you know.
Yeah, and they need to know, like you know, and I love that, you know that they need any help or they want anybody's advice, they have a question or anything that they need that on like their first phone call. They value like our opinion and how we feel about things.
Well, you know, Alexia, like you, we've been through a lot as women. We've been through some things that a lot of people probably wouldn't survive a day. We've been through more than once and seen a lot, lived a lot, so we can give that advice through experience. And that's one of the things I noticed in the younger girls that follow us is they want to know what to do.
They look up to us right for advice and things relationships, friendships, men, you know, being you know, where do I go, what do I do?
Things like that, which is smart because that's what you want. You want women that inspire you, that have lived a life, that have had lessons and are filled with wisdom, and we're like educating them, you know in a way. They want to know how we got from like point A to point B. They want to know like about our obstacles and how we got to we're at today. So it's actually very flattering, and we even talked about that.
We talked about the fact that the audience for the Housewives has become so much younger than we originally started doing this. Where it used to be you know, women our age or even older. Now today it's like you get eighteen year olds that like come up to you and they're like, oh my god, we love you. We think you're like you know, and it's truly not that they love the outside of us and what we look like in our lifestyle. But they're like us as a woman, you know, as a strong woman, as a person.
That's the strength, it's the strength look for. And you know, Alexia and not everybody had a mom that they could go to, right and a lot of these girls that I speak to didn't have that. And my mom's very wise. I mean, my mom's never even graduated from high school. She left school at a very early age. And she's never even been on a vacation. But she's that's your next trip.
I want you to take your mom on a trip.
Shell Nope, She's like, I'm happy where I am. But she's so smart, she's and she thought she was stupid always and so dumb, but but she experienced. Also, I think life it's not all about like the superficial things to where any girl could figure that out herself.
Really.
But so yeah, like so we were saying, maybe are you know the housewives have turned to some some younger, but you can't have all younger and just that's my I agree.
I agree with that. I think that there needs to be all different age groups. And I also find it a little strange when it's a very young girl, like maybe in her mid or late thirties, and then there's like late fifties. I mean, twenty years is a big gap, you know, and it is a big gap, and you know, and just because of that, we have so many differences.
I mean, we can both maybe be moms because they already have like small children, but they really haven't experienced or gone through all the things that we've gone through.
And you know, some of them, they ever experienced some of the things we've gone through.
Oh one hundred percent. And there are a lot of women that are half my age that will never experience put up experience, and you know what, I'm happy for them. But I am who I am today because of my experiences, and you know, and I'm finally like proud of them because I feel like a lot of times I was ashamed of all of a lot of them. But today I am proud of them.
That is a very very strong statement for me as well, because I was very like ashamed of some things. I mean I never even told the mothers at school I was divorced when my kids were younger because I was ashamed of that.
Yeah.
Wow, And which when you when you don't share things right. I know there's a bad part part of sharing, but the good part to sharing is to know that you're not the only person that ever went through that, and there are also people that can help you through something if you just tell them, or if you're honest or transparent. I have no other.
Way to be right, Well, I feel like the show helped me a lot with that, you know, having to be honest talking about it, and I'm so real and authentic that I can't lie about anything, So it just kind of like made me feel a little bit uncomfortable in the beginning, but once I was able to do it, it's even become therapeutic, like in my own way in
my personal story. I mean not with the fighting with the girls or whatever, because that's not therapeutic for anybody, but you know, as my personal story goes and with my family and all that, I think that it's helped me a lot.
One hundred percent. I think I've grown. One thing. One of the things about this show is I feel like I've grown so much and gone out of my little bubble that I grew up around because growing up and I could speak for the rest of the girls too, that when they started this franchise. They didn't know that New Jersey. Everybody in the world wasn't like New Jersey really to the people we knew. It's almost like thinking everyone speaks the same language, right, we didn't know that
throwing a table would be like iconic. That's like at home, like we're not offended by it, but other people are like, how could it? You know, it's kind of funny in a way.
Yes, now we get it now after all of these years, if you girls on TV, we finally got it, you know. And that's the beauty of these shows that every franchise brings, you know, something different, and it's really like, you know, where the city's are, you know, who are the people? You know, kind of like the culture. You know, even
Miami is so different. It's so unique from you know, the others cities and Dubai, you know, and nowadays, you know, the cast are so diverse and you know, so inclusive, you know, and that makes it really like a beautiful thing because you know, we get to see a little bit about everybody and you know we're not all the same yet you know, we all love each other and sometimes we don't, but you know that's not why we
don't love each other, you know. But what I'm trying to say is that, you know, I love how these shows have taken a little bit of a direct different direction because of the times we're living, and you know, there's a little bit of everyone. I mean, I think your show is still very Jersey, yeah yeah, but Miami is very is very like diverse now, but that's really Miami. It's truly a representation of the city that we live in. I mean there's people from everywhere all over the world here.
Yeah, and it's gotten like that. I want to say, in the past what fifteen years, I've seen a big difference. It was mostly Cuban When I go back blast.
Well, I want to say the Cubans still rule Miami because they were the first ones here and we built Miami. I'm going to give my Cubans the credit. But you know, after the Cubans are along with the Cubans, there's been you know, many nationalities that have helped grow the city and have all contributed to the growth and the wealth.
I see that. I see that. I really missed Miami. Talking to you right now.
Well, you have to come. It's a beautiful day here. It's been rainy like hell every single day, because that's Miami too. It was like start pouring and then all of a sudden the sun comes out. But you need to plan a trip. Yeah, want to see you here soon. I actually saw Frank here when he came with Brittany, I think like a year or two ago, one summer, and we went to have lunch, like a really cool spot here and.
Yeah, I'm very nice Brittany. So they're getting married in November.
Mm hmmm. I wonder if he's inviting Todd or me. I would love for you to be there go together. Are you going? Are you going?
Yes, I'm going, of course my mom, Well my mom will go because it's too far. But you know, my dad, my brother, my sisters are going. He's his best man. Gabby's in the wedding.
So I love your relationship with Frank. I've always wanted to ask you, so, how long did was it always like that once you guys separated or did it take you some time to get to where obviously where you're at today. I mean it's been years already.
But so I mean sometimes I can relive twenty years ago, twenty five years ago, like it would you know, you know, forget certain things. So I never wanted to hate him, so I always kept an open, you know, communication with him, and I just I thought, in the beginning, the really truth is I wanted to spite people that you know, he left, and I was like, I'll never give him the excuse to say that that's why I left, because
she's a bit. So I was even nicer when all that happened far and then it just became easy for me because I would always say, and I tell women, just be nice. They're gonna need you still, like things are gonna happen in their life. And and you know, fake it till you make it.
How old were your children when you separated.
I was pregnant for Frankie and Gabby was thready right, No, I mean they were small.
You still knew that you were going to have to deal with him, you know, for the rest of your life pretty much.
Yeah, And and he also didn't want a tumultuous divorce for the kids either, So it took two people to really and it took a lot of like not fighting over stupid shit, like a lot of people fight over, you know, a curtain. They'll go on and on about curtains and or you know, why aren't you As a mom, I could have said, oh, well, Frank, you're it's it's Tuesday at seven o'clock. Why aren't you here yet? I wasn't going anywhere, so I said, don't come at all. Who cares?
Right?
We never followed a schedule. We never I never thought about because I would it would fighting and I and I try to tell my friends, is most of the fighting that happens, it's just not worth it. That ages you, like that is such an anchor.
I agree, I mean, I agree, but it's hard. You have to be in the person's position. You know, everybody's relationship is different, you know, not everybody is like Frank and dolorous, you know what I mean. There's different personalities, there's different issues. It's like complicated, my friend.
It takes two people to be on the same page, you know.
And sometimes it doesn't happen while you're married, but then when you're divorced, you learn from it, and you know, for the good of the children and for your own sanity, like you said, and to be happy, you just you kind of like believe, yeah, and you just you know, want piece in your life and you're like, Okay, we're good.
There's no price on a piece. But did we have our fight? Oh my god, there was a few times we were going to kill you. I think we would have killed each other, like I wished him dead, like I wished horrible things. I mean that. You know, you go through so many different things til you get to the point of saying, all right, like I just need peace in my life, and I can't do that because it'll drag me down. And it's for your own self to move on from whatever issues, right, So yeah, I
mean it's hard. It's not easy.
Yeah, I mean, and even so, I guess when you obviously when you broke up with Frank, you weren't on TV yet, so it was a different time in your life. But having to do this publicly, oh, let's see, it makes everything worse. And that's what we're going to get into our hot topic, which is everybody's hot topic. And that's benefit they are officially done, Alexia.
Do you know that from my opinion, because her and Theresa got married the same week and Theresa got more play on her wedding and more oftisement than these two did. But their breakup is viral isn't that crazy?
Yes, because you know, I feel like people in general, I mean, they want to say they were rooting for them. Yes, there was a lot of people rooting for them, like myself because I'm such a j Loo fan, But there was a lot of people that were not. And I feel like the majority of the people when they see these celebrity in public couples, they're like secretly wanting them to go like through pain and you know, and divorce
in this case. And it was just like the entire world for four months, that's all they've talked about and speculated. So now we know obviously that there was problems, like we all thought, but there wasn't really enough information, you know, to gather any type of thing except that you know obviously that there were two different people and they wanted different things in life, and that she was such a
public person he was such a private person. That was like originally how it started four months ago and we knew there was trouble in paradise, But now months later there's all this information, So now I'm like, uh huh, well, what.
Is the information like? Because you know, I love it when somebody gets together with somebody and then all of a sudden when they want to break up, they use like, oh, your life is too public as an excuse.
She's Bingo bingo exactly. And by the way, you knew who she was twenty years ago. She wasn't even as famous as she is today. And that broke you up twenty years ago. What do you think is going to happen now, twenty years later when she's j Lo and even like to a different power and you loved everything about her. This is how what you fell in love on, why you were talking to her again, It's how you have thoughts. I feel like hundred percent it's a false narrative.
It's a false narrative that Ben Affleck is creating. And I always knew it. And you have to give things and people time.
I think you're very wise, and I'm going to tell you I want to hear Europe and yes interested.
Well, first of all, can I just thank you for being here today because if my other co host, Marisol, I'm going to call you in to substitute for Marisol when she doesn't feel like talking about the topics that I love. One of them was this because she doesn't like j Loo. So every time you know, and obviously we've been doing a podcast throughout the summer, and every week there's an article about Jlo and Ben and I wanted to talk about it, and she would be like, no,
we're not talking about Jalo. So when this happened now and she's not here, I'm like, yes, I know, Dolores, my girls just gonna want to talk about this.
All over this, I was just like scrolling through reading the articles.
I mean, he's done her dirty, let me tell you, because I mean the fact that he was trying to he was trying to create his narrative, and it turns out that it's a false narrative because he was very much involved in the docuseries, which by the way, his production company produced it, Artist Equity, and he knew about everything. He knew about the love Letter. So she was putting about the whole talky series he participated, Yeah, he participated in it.
Can I just make a statement like I could be wrong. I'm not saying that he's growing around. I'm not saying that I don't know what's going on. They could have fell out a lot. I don't know. But all I can say is whenever my friends call me and all of a sudden, they hate their husbands for things that the guy's been doing for like twenty years. Like I'm like, all of a sudden, this bothers you so much that you want to get divorced. Oh and you're at the
gym three or four more days a week. Oh uh, stop banging your trainer.
Exactly. And that's what I'm saying. I get it. I knew exactly where you were going because I think the
same thing. And in this case, he just did it really good to her, because in this case, he always thought that everybody was going to support him and she was going to be the villain, and everybody was going to say, you know, vn'sbury private and you know, he wants to live his life with his kids, and he's very simple, and he was married to Jennifer Gardner like and now this yeah, and this woman like him to
ruin his life, you know. And of course all the women their haters, and they're all going to say the same thing. And then on top of it, this is her fourth marriage. So I was like, this poor woman, they're gonna say she's definitely the problem, which they have said. Now the narrative can do a little bit.
Oh, everybody's why are women turned tearing women down all the time?
Thank you? Thank you? Like I was like, and that's yeah, And that's what I would like to all these women because they do the same thing.
She's got it. She's inviscerated her her concerts are doing shit. She's been walking around like unhappy for so long. She's forgotten who she is.
I feel like she has. I think that she was trying to fix someth so much and being with a person like this, with erotic mood swings, with kis and lows. One day's good, one day's bad. One day he's happy and he's to you, and another day he's you know, he's an asshole, and like, yeah, it's it's torture. It is it's a mind He not like that.
It's a mind. Fuck. You're walking on eggshells all the time, and it drained you. And I feel like this relation had ship has taken its toll on her career.
I think so, And why would he want to do that to her? I mean if and I really want to believe that there's so much love between them, because you know, I've always said to myself, the only reason why a lot of people make stupid decisions is because of love, because you're so in love and yeah and for real, and I really did think. I mean, they're both in love with the idea of love. So I think that when they re killed the relationship, it had a lot to do with that because they were kind
of both in a bad place. You know, she was just breaking up with her fiance that she did on her supposedly or not. But yeah, yeah, that was not good. So she was kind of like an aloe. And I think that men like that come into your life at a time when you're low and you're vulnerable, and you know, she always had that was kind of like the guy that escaped twenty years ago. So now she has this, you know, opportunity again twenty years later to you know, be with the love of her life that she always
thought that was the love of her life. And they just rekindled and it was perfect to the point that they don't even have a prenup. I mean, talk about insanity. I mean, two major stars like them, with the kind of money that they have, you just make stupid mistakes when you're like in love like that.
I've never made a good decision when I was vulnerable. It's weird because when your energy is like that, you do not meet the right person and then you get in the wrong hands.
I agree, and that's what she needs to learn, because I feel like she's really not the problem in the sense that just because she's been married four times and you know, going for her fourths divorce, I think she just picks the wrong men because she's in love with the idea of being in love, and she falls in love very easily before I got on here.
She's in love with the idea, but she.
Falls in love. But they're all been different. All her men have been different, So it's not like she has like a pattern, you know, her four relationships or marriages, because she's had more than four. She's had four marriages, but I think like six engagement rings, and she's been you know, always pretty much always in a relationship. But she's looking for that love and that happiness. I feel
like a lot of women have that, you know. But the fact that this to her is ending and she was really in love with this man is just heartbreaking for me. I honestly feel really bad for he because I know how much she loves this man, like because if not she wouldn't have put up with all the stuff that she's put up with.
I think that also, because she's so into being in love, she puts up with a lot of things more than she should. I mean, we've all done this right. She she likes to be an achiever. She likes to do everything one hundred percent. And that's what she put into this relationship. Like even though in and then you get to a certain age, we're fifties, we're in our fifties.
I know you think she wanted I mean, she thought she was going to be married forever. He engraved in her ring, I'm not going anywhere, and then he sends you know, the whole relationship started off so beautiful, like he loved Bombderr with all these letters, you know, and then all of a sudden, it's kind of like it's over, and I feel like she's been doing the work. Or she even canceled her concert. Yes, the ticket sales were low, but you know what, she would have gone through it
because she's that person, like you said, and achiever. She would have shown up to all her concerts. She would have made them better than ever. So then her next tour would have been even better. So She's an overachiever when it comes to her work and her professional life. And I'm just so sad that she's struggled so much on her personal life because she has children. You know, I feel like you could get married and divorce. How many times do you want when there's no children involved?
But you know, sometimes when you have children, it really does affect the children.
The little ones, the little one separately. Hey, listen, I will say that. You know, my son said to me the other day, he said, MA, what would you have done different? Am I the man that you? You know? You did? I grow up to be the man that you're proud of? And I said, of course you are. You're I raised you to be the man that I would want. And he said, what would you have done different? And I said, well, there were times like I was probably frustrated or it was harder on you and Gabby
than I should have been. And he said, but you were always going through so much, like you always had so much on your plate that you can't blame yourself for those things. You handled them? Well, I wouldn't, She said, you know, the hard times made me stronger in life. But he said, you know, and as women, right or even as humans, men and women, like the kids get the brunt of a lot of things. And you're right about that.
And you can see it like you can see it in her children. You can see it in Ben Affleck's children as well. And that's where I have a problem. And even with the fact that she's so into like love and family and that's the first thing she does, because it's so important for her to blend a family, and she does that, and you can see that she's like striving for that, and she made Ben like a family man and like a better man and a better
father to his own kids. And then now they're saying, you know, sources are saying, which by the way, we know it's like her camp. And at this point, you know what good for her. I'm happy that her camp is talking.
They're tired of her getting shit on exactly.
They're like, what are you talking about, Like you haven't seen my kids or you know, in four months. So yes, he's like parading. Obviously his kids are more important. But at that point, like what she wished him a happy Father's day, our hero like and she's always like praised about what a good father Ben is. And now since they got separated. He hasn't seen any of her kids, and she has kept in touch, you know, with his kids.
You know what, she's better off because he is he is not good for her. I'm not putting him down. I have nothing to say bad about him. I never and him personally, but from what I see, whatever he is, he's not for her. And that's it.
I don't think so. And I think it's it took her these four months of being separated, you know, her being in the Hampton's and in Italy and just having alone time and him being back in LA and just being separate and having that distance to realize, like, he's not going to change. And you can't fix people. You can't fix people.
And don't change.
Let me tell you, well, women don't change either. I mean I feel like what women I think a different and I know a lot of guys are going to hate me for that, or maybe even some women. Is the fact that I don't think we give up so quickly in our marriages or in our relationships, you know, especially when we love so hard. You know we'll keep on wanting to like fix it. And I mean I don't know her personally, but you know I read her book True Love when she was going through the separation
with Mark Anthony, and I've always followed her. I always read like all her interviews. I'm actually, you know, to me, she's been inspiring in many ways, and I have a lot of love and respect for her, even though I don't know her personally. But this has really like affected me because I was really hoping for her that she was going to be this was it. This was like the guy that she was going to be, you know, live the rest of her life with that she wanted.
God, it's not Alexia, Thank God, it's not because he's not for her. He's a mope. He's always miserable. Even when I saw them at the awards together, right and she was sitting there and she was trying. Now, I've been there before. I had been the girl who was sitting with the guy who's being miserable, and you got to like try to hope that, you know, you can keep it together because you can't pick a fight in front of a thousand people and you're just trying to, like, you know, it doesn't matter if.
You're it's hard. Yeah, it's hard.
We all go through the same thing in relationships. And sometimes it's like you can't.
Even hide it, because there's some guys that can hide it. There's some guys that will fake it, and they'll go out in public and pretend everything's good, and then you get in the car or at home and it's like a different person. Yeah, what you guys saw there is not the real one. Right.
It's a long night.
And I feel like she fell in love with like a fictional character, Like in her mind, it was like, Okay, I want Ben to be like all this stuff, and I feel like a lot of women do that. We're all guilty of that, and you know, we're so like, you know, excited and love of the idea of like this is the guy that I want him to be, especially because obviously all those love letters and you know,
the romance scene, Yeah, love mommy. I mean, I feel like he has a lot of narcissistic characters Between you and I, he's.
Got a lot of demons. But he I don't know who's good for him to be honest, right, No.
He's never going to be happy, Dolores. No woman is gonna be like, no woman is good enough, and he's always going to find some kind of fault or flaw in the women because that's what that's what he's done. I mean, Jennifer Gardner could have been like a better woman. I mean she's still there. She's still there babysitting him, you know, and taking care of him.
And she's like, you know, like she's normal. So you know, he's he's just not for either one of them. But yet, look at who he wound up with. Two women, two successful women to like for the most part, right, like normal women. They're not crazy. You don't see all this.
Like because normal women fall in love with crazy men, and men'll be psychologically.
We have to stop those things and vice versa too, Alexi. Yet I know a lot of nice guys who just fall for oh you got to yeah, crazy. But I think when you're vulnerable, like I said, you're you attract there's a reason you attract these these people. I'm not sure what it is yet, but it's not a peaceful life.
Jennifer Lopez has filed for divorce from Ben Affleck, and she requested her name to change to be changed back to Jennifer lin Low rather than Jennifer Lynn Affleck. How do you feel about that about changing the name.
She shouldn't have changed it in the first place. But I don't think there's anything wrong with that. However, Well, she's very traditional and romantic, and that is why she's in the position she's No.
I know that's I relate to her because I'm like that too. I think that that's why I have I get it.
She wanted that nuclear family, then don't pick ben Affleck, who who has all these issues.
That is true, she picks the wrong men. Yeah, that's why she's had four.
We all long for that normal family since we're little girls. We long for that normal family. We dream about it, we play it, we do other But you know, if you pick the wrong person, it ruins your plans for yourself. And that's it. Yeah, I mean, he's all his stuff that I'm reading is all basically real bullshit about how they had differences in their idea and their lifestyle.
Their lifestyle. Yeah, he's private and she's public, and she wants to go out with her friends and have fun and be social and social and advertise their love on social media and he doesn't. Well, why are you even hitting on like Robert Kennedy's daughter. I mean, I mean, if you really don't want that you pick like a plain Jane girl. But like everybody's gone out with. He went out with Anati Adamos, which is a Cuban actress, beautiful, and he used to get photographs all the time with her.
Then he went out with the producer of Saturday Night Live, one of those women that produces the show, and he also got photographs with her. He used to get photographs with Jennifer Garner. Of course, with j Lo has been over the top and more than anything, because she's a star just like him. But I think what bothers him is that her star shines brighter than his, and he can do he just.
Took the words out of my mouth. Like. So he goes with these very famous women and then all of a sudden he wants them to think that there's a problem with them. Do you see the pattern, Like I don't want to be with you because of your fame. For he goes with them knowing what they are, but then he gets he makes them feel bad about what they've made of themselves, like they've done something so magnanimous with their lives, like it's like a gift from God.
It's like catching lightning in a bottle and he they should have somebody telling them every day, look at what you've become, look where you've come from. Instead, you got him saying I don't want I don't want this because that's just what you are. But you met me like.
This, And when did that change? Because in February he was like promoting the docu series and he was part of it, and again he even had editing rights. So at this point I feel like he sat there, he did all that, and then he gave a false narrative, which is like, oh, you know, you know, I'm not really okay. I'm really uncomfortable that Jennifer, you know, shared all of our love letters. But by the way, you produced it and you had editing rights like you, I don't have that any rights, but he does.
I know what that's like to not want something in there and not be able to get it out exactly. But he absolutely did not have to keep that in there.
So now he did that on purpose, my friend, I feel like he said that narrative because he wanted everybody to believe that because he already had everything like set up and plans like I'm going to divorce this film.
And not everybody understands that that's why she's getting a lot of flat That's why a lot of women are being like, why did you do that to him, not realizing that he's the one that actually not only allowed it to happen, but probably suggested it because he was in charge.
Yes, and he also has they have this movie coming up that they're going to be in Toronto that apparently Matt Damon's going because Matt Damon's's partner in the production company, so he produced the movie as well. But the other night, Yeah, well he's very close with Yes, Yeah, they're very close. And but look, Matt Damon's won that's had a very
private life, you know. Yeah, and he's married to a simple girl that, by the way, has been married over nineteen years and he never gets photographed because nobody cares, and they do, you know, And there's ways you know that, DOLORESA. If you want to be private, I don't care who you are, You're going to be private.
There's many many people he didn't have to show up to these things with her, stay home, right, Like if I had someone with me that did not want that, I would say, not a problem.
I'm not forcing you to come. You don't have to show up, but don't hold me back from going. And I'm okay to go by myself. So you know, there could have been a compromise. If this was the problem, he could have gone to some things, not all things.
I think so too. I think that she really tried. I think that, you know, maybe I can't say the same of her other marriages, and you know, she's always been the one that's wanted out because you know that happens too. But I really do believe in my heart she's very in love with him, and she fought till the end to keep it alive, but he didn't put in the work and he didn't want it. I mean,
she's saying it, you know. I mean, obviously they haven't made a public statement together or she hasn't been interviewed yet.
I'm just waiting for her book because I just have a feeling that she's going to write one of those other books that also are going to be very like self reflective about her, especially after doing the docu series, as she opened up and she was so vulnerable, and you know, we got to see a different side of j Loo because a lot of times the truth is that we just got to see that side of her, of her being her professional life and just being a superstar and performing, and we really got to see more
of her and who she is and her life.
There's something called generational trauma, which I'm just learning about, and it's when the things in your family that have been in your family carry over to you until you heal it. I think that she needs to take some time to even though she's Jilo. You know, she's been running forever and doing all these things and becoming super famous, and maybe she just needs to come into herself, be secluded for a little bit and just be like find herself and then make a different choice on who she's with.
One hundred percent, she needs to heal because she moves from one to the other, and you know, we always think that that's going to resolve the problem, and it just makes it worse because we picked the wrong partner.
I think she's done so much with her life except taking healing herself, because from what I see, she grows in every aspect in her life, but her personal relationships.
You know, life isn't perfect. You know. I feel like a lot of women that are so successful in their professional life sometimes you know, their personal life, and their emotional life is lacking because they're so concentrated and if you know, they work so hard at the other that they don't really like to focus or you know, some people. Maybe she has a problem where she doesn't want to like kind of do that self search and healing and
you know, I mean, I don't know. I think that the docuseries kind of made her seem that she was doing that work and that's why she was better. But I don't know it's gonna I don't think that she's gonna move on so quickly after this one. You know, there's always one.
That she doesn't Maybe it's good that right now things are a little bit slowing down for us. She canceled her tour.
I feel like she made a lot of sacrifices for this guy, and this is like, you know, how he paid her, and.
What's this one he's running around with now?
So I mean apparently, you know, his camp is obviously denying the allegations and saying that they don't even know each other. But there's other people or whoever saw them, like at the Polo lage.
Where did it come from? Did it come out of?
Well, apparently he had a fling with her right before he got back together with j Lo. Oh okay, so they do know each other, but he thought that she was too young and she wasn't like ready for anything. By the way, she's thirty six. She looks very young though. Did you find her young looking? Yeah, very young looking, but very like plain Jane or whatever, like I don't know, like kind of like Jennifer Gardner, but like a younger version of her.
Yeah.
Yeah, But anyways, you know, it's kind of like her celebrity crush. You know, she obviously you know, grew up watching him and whatnot. And you know, he does own a production company. He's always casting his director, so of course, like whoever is going to be you know, entertaining this, you know, they don't care about all his like you know, mental struggles right right, Well, you know at this point he's denying it, so we don't know. But you know, again, like I say, just give it time.
Jlowe and him denied being together when they were together, and then denied.
Being separated when they were separated. That's what they do.
And then next thing, you know, yeah, so listen, if if it's not that person, it'll be somebody else. Because he's another one that can't be alone.
Yeah, no, he'll ifine you move on to his next supply. And I think he's already working on it and it's got a crown on. Yeah. Well now he's smiling. Now he's smiling. I'm like, he's so cynical that with her, like to prove a point. He was always like with that poopy face and always mad and angry, and now it's like, oh, I'm really look at me. I'm like smiling, I'm so happy. I'm like, you're such a cycle. He's such a cycle, this guy.
I can't because you know what, then she's saying in her she's probably it's even so much worse when he's going around like that, because then she's saying, oh, the next person's going to get the better version of him.
J LO with there's no better version changing and there's no better version of him. They'll do the same thing to them. So think he's the great write her love letters to love bumb her.
Write the love letters, and she's going to be walking around with a pit in her stomach, just like you did for the past few years.
Yeah, that's it.
Nobody's getting a better version.
No, So I'm curious, Dolores, So you know how you because you know you've been through this too and me and whatnot? How long do you think is like a fair amount of time to give your partner or the other person to kind of or to give yourselves as a couple before you're ready to make that decision, Like do you think that there were four months? Five months?
Do you think that's too much? Like I feel like it's a danger zone between you and I after a certain amount of months, you know, unless there's communication and unless you're really really trying. But I felt like she he not showing up at her birthday, he not, you know, really like cutting ties with her.
Yeah, he get checked out a long time ago. But everybody's different, So it's all relative, right, as long as there's no domestic violence in something. If there's domestic violence in a relationship, then it has to go away. You cannot live like that. That has to there's no fixing that, there's no sticking around for that. But if it's just like all this emotional turmoil, which is also very taxing
on you as a person. And I remember me, I had to make a very big decision in my life with two small children and no education and no way to support myself. You have to say look in the mirror and say throw up your hands and say I've tried everything. I can sleep at night knowing that this is the right thing for me. And when you come to that realization and you say to yourself nothing, being without this person is not going to be worse than being with them, then you it's time to go. Your body,
your heart, and your mind has to be ready. After you feel like you've tried everything, you can never leave with a regret, because then, like j Lo, you go back and you get yourself in traw Yeah.
I mean I think that in their case it was different circumstances. Twenty years ago. You know, they were younger and naive, they didn't know how to handle it. You know, there were more like emotionally immature, and maybe you know, twenty years later she thought they were both had some growth and there were more emotionally mature.
A lexia growth out of rehabs. I've seen him like shit.
I mean, I just know I listened. I'm not supporting him at all. I feel just like you, I feel like there was zero growth. But that's why I'm saying that it was like a fictional character. She it was somebody that she thought in her head was going to be, and then she woke up one day and it wasn't Prince Charming. Her fairy tale ending wasn't what she wanted it to be because the man she married and the man she left were two different people.
I mean, thought of him was better than the reality, plain and simple, and that's that is true, you know, And I feel like that happens, you know, to a lot of people.
But I think it's just like you know, like you said, within yourself, when it's time to go, and like you said, yeah.
You've done every single thing, no matter how hard it is. When you can't take it anymore, and when that spark is gone, it's not coming back anyway.
Really, So I felt that he was humiliating her throughout the entire process. He went and he moved out when she wasn't there, He moved out of the house. Then he bought a twenty million dollar house on the day of her birthday. I mean, he did so many things to stick it to her that I am surprised that she stuck around for so many months.
And that that's what I mean, Like when she was good and ready. And I've said this to my friends, when you're good and ready, I will support that decision. If you love him, I love him. If you hate him, I hate him, I love that. Tomorrow I'm behind you, and I will give him the respect of your love. I don't have to internally like this person, But you know, I think that she had also the thing of like what are people going to say? What are people going
to think? The other thing about making this about all this break happened and it's time to do something. Is you have to let go of what you think people will say about you or what they will think.
Oh yeah, you have to shut It's funny that you say that, because I say the same thing. You have to shut the world down, like you have to shut down all the noise. You can't listen to anybody or anything, because everybody will drive you crazy. This is the time that you need to have the most clarity in your life and just be like, I'm not talking to anybody, sticking to what I need to find out about myself.
And I think she's been doing that. And I also read an article that her mom was Ben Alfleck's biggest supporter and cheerleader, and she was, you know, giving her good advice, you know, as far as to you know, try and make things work out. And that's what Jennifer always wanted. But until now, and then now her mother is like, you know what, you need to file for divorce, and not only that, you need to start talking and you need to start telling people who this man was.
For her mother to have supported him, he was probably choosing.
The mother one hundred percent. Well, they had the gambling thing in common, so they like to gamble. And then I think he put her like in some commercial or something, some kind of things like that. But these guys usually are like that, They're like schmoozers, you know what I mean.
They're very careful.
And then the mom was the one that pushed and loved the idea of her getting back with Ben.
And he could be a big reason. Listen, when my mother tells me something, I listen. You know that that validation from your mother goes a very very long way.
And you know, and moms always know, they have like the sixth scent, like.
They know, you know, moms could be fool too.
Well in the beginning, you know, I think in the beginning, you know, there's going to be people always that are rooting for you and they love it and they see you happy, and you know, and I feel like she was making him better, you know, she was kind of like lying about things or keeping things inside when like her manager didn't like him, a lot of her friends, and he was kind of like isolating her from all the people she was close to, which is another sign.
I never I never seen them as together. I never seen it. Never one day.
Yeah, not twenty years ago. Yeah, not on their They always kind of looked like they were against each other. Like, I mean, I don't think she but I think kind of like him. Yeah, I mean to me, he's just not like mentally well, because I mean, that's not what you get married for. That's not what you're in a relationship for. I mean, like what is that? I mean, that's that's how I see it.
I don't like what he does though. This is my biggest problem all of a sudden with these women that he goes for. He makes them feel bad about what they are that I cannot let fall off because I've had in my past people have done that to me. Yes, so I recognize it when I see it.
Of course, in the trade of his his Yeah, I'm sure he'll do the same thing, you know, to the next one. But because we really don't know somewhere.
Unless he finds a plain girl, like a plane like girl behind.
Well, this girl supposedly has no social media. I mean she does have it, but she doesn't have a presence on it, and she's not like, you know, documenting like her life on social media. But that doesn't mean anything. I mean she's still a very public person and her family couldn't be more public either. I mean her father was just running for president the girl next door, so it really he's really contradicting himself. And like I always knew that there was more behind it, and you know
hopefully that. I mean, their divorce is not going to be very quick because they have no prenups. And how do you feel about prenupsn't.
Just walk away? This is how I feel about prenups. I don't love them. But if it's but if it's a deal breaker, if it's a deal breaker, then there would be a contingency that I would maybe I don't want to go after whatever you made before you met me, but from meeting me or from being with me, and whatever is moving forward and a lifestyle I get used to. And I my biggest thing Alexi as a single woman
is is future financial security. If I'm giving my time to a man, I would have to know that I would be taking care of for the rest of my life. Maybe I don't want your big high rises in New York. Okay, Okay. If that means that that I'm going to still get married, but I'm going to be okay for the rest of my life, then fine. You know that's that's the way I look at it.
So then you're probably not gonna get married. I just I'm telling.
You it's not my goal.
That's totally no. I'm just saying because you know, I feel like prenups are important and necessary. But if you get through that, because I mean, you really have to get uncomfortable when you're doing a prenup, and like it really becomes a problem and it becomes a fight between you know you.
I don't like it.
It's just like, you know, I feel like I feel that the same, But I do believe necessary.
What I sign it short. I'm not saying I wouldn't. I sure would not.
As long as it's fair. You know, there's a lot of prenups obviously that aren't fair. Everything in life is about being fair. So I think that they're necessary. In this case, that would have saved themselves a lot of trouble because they've only been married for two years. Of course, Oh I think so. I think that. I feel like women always go after the guy's money just because it's where it hurts them. How do you get a guy back? You know what I mean by hurting like his money,
like taking away his money. Every guy hates that. But and how do you get a woman back? You date younger, like in our case, right, or like something like that. That's what they would do, Like, Okay, big deal, you're dating a twenty five year old or a thirty year old who cares? You know, totally.
I love what they believe. Oh it's really love.
Mm hmmm. Yeah. See if they fall in love with like the pool guy or who are just like a regular guy. But but yeah, but now, I don't think their divorce is going to be over very quickly, just because they have no cleanup and they've made so much money the two of them, and the two years that they were married, and they had so many projects together. They're gonna lose a lot of money in their house, on their sixty million dollar house, but.
Goes down.
But but you see, they had to preen up. She could have already signed it, like signed a divorce and said okay, I'm out and that's it. So sometimes it's better, I mean not sometimes I think it's necessary all the time, especially when there's so many assets and so much wealth.
It's a shame. She's worked very, very hard to get to where she is. She's just sacrificed a lot in her life, and she she really just deserves to be happy.
I want her to be happy too.
I really just again, you know what, I wish for him to be happy and move on away from her.
And he's never going to be happy. He's never Guys like this are never happy with themselves, Like they're never happy with themselves. And he's not going to fix himself, like he just really you know, that dark, dark side that he has of himself, it's he's never going to be able to fix that. He's just going to go on to the next and the next and the next, and that's how he'll live.
And you know, I mean, what are the signs that women should look for? Or even men and women to look for when they get involved with somebody like this, Like, well, it's hard in the beginning because here's the love letters and the you know she loved him.
Oh no, I think he loved her too, in his own way. I mean, I don't think guys like this really love anybody. You know, they just don't know, they don't have that emotional intimacy and maturity to like fall in love like that, because if not, he would still be fighting for to save their marriage. I mean there's no reason. I mean, his excuse about the public life that she has and he doesn't want to live it.
And it is that a quote from him though? Was that an actual.
Well, those were the signs right after the docu series came out there, that's what happened. I mean, like a few months later, there was the last time they saw him together. That was like February something, March twenty ninth to solumn in New York, and now she's stayed in April twenty sixth, so it was literally two months after that. So it's kind of like it looks like he planted the scene, right.
What about like Sophia Bagara and Joe Magnello or however you say, is right, like he wanted children. We all knew Sophia Vaguard did not want more.
Children, right, Well, he says his story. Now he's saying it's different. He said that we actually talked about Sophia too, and that's what she's saying. But I guess that he let her go with it. And then he said at one point that they tried the first nine years, you know, to have a child, and it didn't happen. So he told her, I would never leave you because the all the men say that. Apparently all these all these men say that he told her the same thing, I'll never
leave you because of that. If you know, it didn't happen. We weren't able to have children, and I'm never going to leave you for that. And apparently she was the one that left them. You know, truthfully, we're never really going to know, right just like you know he knows because.
You know, she had embryos. She had embryos left over that she fought with her ex husband and I so that that story doesn't make sense to me. This story doesn't make sense to me. We are not going to know.
To be continued, I don't think we're I don't think I'm going to be able to close this chapter of Jennifer in my life. I feel like so many more things are going to developed.
I have a lot of faith in you that you are going to get to the bottom of this, and you're not going to rest until you get to the bottom of this.
No, I'm pounting on her writing a book. I'm counting on her writing a memoir like something she needs to expose them anyways. No, I just think again, just because I feel like he's created that narrative. That's what I'm upset about, because you know what if that say the truth, like I'm all about saying the truth, just say the truth. Say listen, I'm going through a midlife crisis. You know I'm not. You know, I thought I was in love with you and I wanted this kind of you.
It's me or something.
But thenever he doesn't want to take right, he doesn't want to take accountability or responsibility, And of course it's just easier to blame it on the other person that's been married and divorced four times and goes from one relationship to the other. It's like she's the problem. You know what, Jlo, this time it's not you.
Don't beat yourself up over this.
Well, my friend, it's been so much fun talking to you, so fine you I want you to come to Miami.
I want to come so bad as soon as things come down over here. I'm leaving for Portugal and then I have a few things, but I think I'm going to make a trip.
I have a wonderful trip. You have so much fun in Portugal. It's beautiful. You're going to really enjoy it, enjoy your time with the family, and we'll catch up your phone. I have. I used to live in Spain, so when I live there, that's the beauty of living in Europe. It's so easy to travel, like throughout Europe. But it's really beautiful. And yeah, we'd love to have you back on because you like to talk as much as.
Me and I love it so much. I love it. I'm going to keep like I'll be texting you because let's keep in touch about what's going on here.
For sure, No, no, for sure we're going to be like, ah, did you see this? But definitely I would love to have you back on. It's been so much fun. You're great to talk to. I love your wisdom, I love your energy, and I love you. Thank you.
I think I love you too. Kissens to everyone, Bye bye, thank you.
For having me, bye, Thank you for listening. Guys, thanks for listening.
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