A Holiday Binge: TWOTS Flashback: RHOC 205 & 206

Two teas in a pod which Teddy Mellencamp and camera judge.

Hi, guys, welcome to another episode of TWATS Flashback with Teddy Melloncamp, Camra Judge, Tam, I have a question for you before we even get into episode five and six, I would say the majority of this episode was wildron Well, children are watching VICKI try to house of dog train her freaking dog.

I know, it wasn't exciting. I mean, the show should have been called The Real Kids of Orange County. And honestly, around season three there was talk, because there were so many young teenagers on the show, there was talk about doing the Real Kids of Orange County like it was legit about to happen, and then it fell through.

And I know, we're just I don't even remember which episode this was in, but I was shocked to see that they could film or that they would film underage kids drinking.

I know, well, I mean the amount of slurs that were in these two episodes, Like, I am actually shocked that PROB doesn't go back and clean them up because they're bad.

It's I mean, I know it's a different time, but the stuff that they're saying, you're like holy crap, Like it's just either way. The air date was February thirteenth, two thousand and seven. Stranger in Your House is the first episode, which is episode five. Synopsis. Slade is very generous to Joe on her birthday. LORII and George take the family to Hawaii, and Shane invites a girl he met on the internet to stay at the house for a few days. That's not crazy, okay, so Shane says.

I had her for a week, but I'm pretty sure after a week you can start eating food like mashed potatoes or whatever. Like I mean, it's just weird. She's neat.

She only just drinks smoothies.

I'm like, I'm not buying that one.

But also the entire thing was so uncomfortable, even her arriving. I don't know that I would just be like, come on into our house, and that's what.

Gina was though with everything with her kids, like oh sure do that do that?

I'm like, what? Well? It really helped Shane because Shamee is a real dream boat. This both episodes like I nudge an asshole, like if I was that girl, I'd rather zip on back to the pageant world in Canada and get the f out of it. He's think, why do.

You think that she was there? Do you think that she saw the show reached out to him and thought, oh, my pageant girl on may try to get on TV.

I think she probably thought he was handsome. On the first season, he wasn't quite as douche lordy. I mean you could tell he was a douche lord, but not like to this capacity. And I think they probably just started like messaging on my Space or friends.

I know, no, it was my Space that I remember them saying that I'm like my Space.

But I really it's a lot, It's a lot. I also forget the time, even though we all had it where like we all would like do our hair like this because and then like poof it way up.

And but that was that was I think late eighties. I don't think it was in the early nineties. I mean this is in two thousand and seven and six.

I mean, I guess I didn't have extensions as a teenager, so I don't really know.

But the pictures, do you have pictures of your hair all teased up? Well?

I have the scared hair bangs.

Oh yeah, it's like they're plastered with Aquinette.

Oh yeah, well you will only perm your banks. And then this part was straight, and then this far hot, and to think I peaked in the eighth grade as a real, real doozy. But then we go to Joe. Have we seen Gavin before this episode?

I'm not sure he might. I don't know, I really because all of.

A sudden, he's in the beginning credits. Joe and Gavin love playing guitar together. This was a sweet moment until Slade stepped in and made it no longer sweet. They're working on songs for her demo. Joe has always dreamed of being a singer. Joe has been telling Slade she wants an acoustic guitar for her birthday, so they went and picked out a guitar. Not acoustic, but I love that.

He said, well that's what you learn on I'm like, you learn on an electric guitar. Isn't the opposite you learn on an acoustic Maybe I'm wrong, but.

I don't know. I can say when Cruz, I mean, Cruise has already quit his long journey of guitar lessons, but they did. His was an electric like they brought like an electric guitar. I don't know, but I think you could. If that's the case, you could have led with that like before, just surprising her to like step, just get her.

What she wants. She has one accuse the guitar. Get her what she wants instead of those borrowed diamonds that he brought Barbara Parker into because Barbara Parker was there lending us diamonds and jewelry in season three, so he didn't buy her anything.

Well, if I was all barbed, I would be really concerned with loaning her the diamonds as well. When I saw them all about to push each other into the pool, and that long I like, I've lost a fanny pack when it was attached to my actual body, that long necklace that like could fall over her head like I was like, I wonder if those jewels made it home. But it was all kind of a hot mess. The

I know, And then all of a sudden she's back and there. It's so weird.

And he's planning ragers fort like, But isn't it pretty telling? She's like, oh, it's my birthday, seal it, peace out, thanks for the present, thanks for the borrowed jewels.

I'm going to LA and a party bus with my friends.

You're not invited.

And then to see him at a restaurant with I swear. That girl that's sitting next to him, she talks familiar to me, she looks familiar, and she comes up in the season. I think she's somehow she comes up in the season if I'm not mistaken, because I'm sure they started panis right, Janie was, Yeah.

I'm sure they started like exchanging text mess like she was hot. I'm sure he started reaching out to her. I mean, I at this point, I've got it.

I mean every time he smiles with his teeth, it just gives me the creeps.

I don't even know. I can't even I don't even look that closely, but I do think at this point they're not even together. They're just fu Oh, they're just her. They're coming and giving us a show.

But all, well, that's the problem. It looks like they're acting. It gives you know, Spencer and Heidi vibes like thousand percent.

Yeah, it's but those two are actually still together and a couple.

Yeah, but you remember on the Hills in the early days how they like they were acting, and I feel like that's exactly what it looks like. And you know, it's short, short term because I don't believe she's on next season, but he is with the Gretchen. I don't remember, no, no, I think that maybe poorl Slade had to Oh she's on a bit next season, but I think he had to take some time off until he reeled in another housewife.

Well, I bet she's probably moved to La. Who knows. But then Vicky and Brianna talk about her plans after graduation. Brianna wants more time for herself after watching her mom work so much. Vicky says, Brianna clueless about how much you have to get the things that they have.

I don't think Brian is clueless. I think Brianna is smart. She's a very smart girl and she's not trying to live without her beyond her means and try to keep up with the joneses. I mean, that's why she lives in Oklahoma on a farm, you know, has her four kids. She's not She's a nurse. She's not concerned with being the riches and having botox and getting my boobs done and all that stuff. Yeah, like us.

I'm like, you mean me, Yeah, I know.

I look down today and I'm like, should I get some boobs? I need some filler?

And Eddie goes no, Well, today at yoga, I was looking at mine too, and mine, even though they're fake, all of a sudden, they're a lot smaller.

And are thinner, and I'm like what, I don't.

Even see them. They're like just too little. I'm like, good thing. But even when I go to get these replaced, I guess in another year when I'm supposed to, I'm not going to get bigger. I don't want bigger. I want what is the same, big old titties. But they don't say big old titties. They say like, shit, help me, Tam, look at tig old bitties.

Bitties.

Oh my god, I've never even heard that before.

No, No, mine are like in between, like they're not flat, but they're not big, so I feel like they're I'm like, do one or the other?

Come on, you can do I have to wear a bra?

No, yep, you neither.

I had a lift.

They're nice and tight, nice and tight.

Then Tammy goes art shopping and Laguna Beach with Duff. Tammy explains the relationship and says they aren't currently together. Tammy said she started dating another guy a week ago and he's really nice, but it's tough because her and Duff have a son. Lindsay called Tammy and said she hit someone. Tammy and Duff leave to go make sure she's okay. It was a minor ding and they're glad she's all right. Do you think Duff was like a

He's a I I talked to him after he helped me with my backyard. He got into like landscaping design, so he was a little bit of a flirt.

I was also confused because they keep talking about how Tammy's husband ran out of money, but now her daughter has this brand new car.

Yeah, I think like he ran out of money, like back in the day when they got divorced, he lost his millions, but I don't think he was, by any means broke.

Okay, and then lou and Lindsay go by. Lindsay a new car. Lindsey gets a white BMW and Tammy says Lindsay's car is nicer than hers. Tammy said she would have gotten her a new car. I mean, all of this is it's complete, I.

Know, but that's how the show was back then. There was so much about the kid. It was all about just youred life. I mean, in what world today would Laurie be going on two vacations back to back without any other cast member and camera there they went to Hawaii, they went to where else did they go? It was the Last Parents.

Oh they got engaged. Yeah, And was there a crew on that boat or that sail boat when they were like gonna crash brightening or I have to wonder if maybe they just send one person with a camera.

I could have back then they would send one person with a handheld.

I feel like maybe two, but I feel like that's got to have been what it was. But then we get to the barbecue, where Duff is there, and Tammy said she doesn't feel comfortable. But I'm like, you were just at lunch with Duff and then having this awkward kissing hugging thing. Well, it made me.

Think like there must have been some time in between that, like something obviously happened, or Tammy was going to bring a boyfriend, or Tammy got because it did make any sense. We saw them hugging in the art gallery and all of a sudden, get him out, Gina, get him out. I cannot be in the same room with him.

And then she like strolls in with their son. I'm like, something's off.

But now you know what was off Shane Kiyoh, Yes, would he say something about tits or something?

Yeah, Well, he was so rude to her and he kept saying, shut up, tits. But he was being kind of rude to everyone. But also, if your son was calling me tits, my son wouldn't or vice versa, like, wouldn't my son would then no longer have a dinger because I would have chopped it off.

Yeah, I would have yanked it off. Yeah, that's disrespectful, And that's just that reflects on the parents obviously, because there's no way in hell my kid would say something like that without getting backhanded. They just wouldn't.

But it's this is what I also don't understand. Like I think every person has an asshole side to them, clearly, but Shane is an asshole to everyone across the board. It doesn't matter if it's the girl he's from Canada, if it's his sister, if it's his mom, if it's tits, like he's on them.

I mean, you'll see Ryan come in and he's not like, he's not disrespectful, like he's he's a little punk because he's a like eighteen year old kid or nineteen at the time.

But are you prepping me?

I'm just saying there's a difference. Just watch because he is so disrespectful to his mother, to his dad, to his siblings everything.

I think there's a difference between. Like my kids will sometimes they'll be jerks because they they're like, mom, don't filmness or whatever. If I'm like they have a school project and I'm trying to like film it, they're like, now it's embarrassing. So they'll kind of act out in those moments. But Shane clearly wants to be on TV and he's old enough now to make those type of decisions, So I I don't know.

Yeah, he's just whatever. I'm sure he's grown up now, but.

Hopefully well then, Joe hopes she didn't hurt Slade's feelings after having a girl's night on her birthday.

Joe, No, Joe, not at all. He's over there like a little puppy.

Can I go?

Can I please go?

Were you going to go?

Oh?

I don't like any of the gifts I got. You told me you didn't want those gifts. You like them.

We're gonna go to La. Okay, Well I'm gonna go to La too, but I'm gonna go with my friends, and I'm gonna try to flirt with this girl because you know what, I'm Carerot's gonna make me like a stud.

But do you think it also like Joe looks a little ungrateful at this point, or do you think he's.

Jows Like, listen, Daddy Warbucks, thanks for the shit, But I am not emotionally tied to you at all.

Yeah, I'm done. The fact that she'd rather make out with Shane than Slade is a bad state.

Well, you can just tell it just kind of looks like it was a fake relationship. And then you know, talking to her on the podcast, you know, months ago. I want to believe if I'm remembering correctly, she said that he was the love of her life.

She did, but she I think she said at the time, she acted like she'd give two shits about him unless they're acting for TV.

That's the thing that leads me to believe that this is a total act, which doesn't surprise me because when Gretchen and Slade come on to the show, every one of their scenes are set up. They even talk about in the one hundredth episode special, everything was set up. Everything was an act. Oh you want, I'm going to surprise you with a Rolls Royce. It was borrowed.

My guest is Slade wants to control every aspect of any woman that he's with life, so he manufactures these Fox scenes so that he can get that like, well, he SoundBite, but really he just looks like an asshole.

I could always talk about how he's an actor.

Well, then they show the girls hitting the town and the limos, Slade goes out with his friends. Slade is tired of being responsible because he always is. Slade sat next to Janice and said she's very cute and hot. I feel like I need to take a shower from just watching Slade or Joe, and he goes, they're so over it.

You know, you do know that Slade says to this day that Orange County Housewives was cast around him. He was just on hot mic and he said that, you know, the show was cast around me, And I think because he knew Scott Dunlap, who created the show. So I'm like, dude, it's not even about guys. It's about girls.

And the only guy. I mean, we haven't even talked about another guy really other than I guess we will this episode because George is doing all the things for Laurie and is but he's doing it in a loving way, like it doesn't know. It doesn't give me the dick like the way Slade does. This next one is Studio Jewelry and Babies, Season two, Episode six. Joe thinks about making a career in entertainment. Laurie contemplates having her own business.

Now Lourie working for Vicky comes up in season eight. Laurie says She's never worked She never worked for Vicky, never worked for Vicky, so it was all fake obviously for the show. But Vicky says, I signed your paycheck, but Laurie saying, nah, no, no, no, no, you didn't.

Well did Duff ever work for Vicky? Why is Duff everywhere?

Because not only I think his victory at the time was trying to show how, you know, how big her insurance company was.

Yeah, or I mean because Duff is intertwined with every single one of the women. But we don't even see all the women together, So I'm confused. I'm confused, I know. Then Laurie met with Laura Li to talk about starting their own jewelry business. Loved they even product placement. Even back then, the jewelry business hasn't even started, and they have their with the name on the front.

I was like Laura li is in the show quite a bit and I've met her quite a few times.

Very sweet, very very sweet girl. I can tell you this. I bet during that time, those necklaces would have gone perfectly with the top from beabe or bb we would just do that again. But no, I've never actually known what it is is BB or bb bb bby.

I used to buy all my clothes bby. They weren't cheap at the time either, And I think Bbe's still around, but it's only online but everything, like not everything, but I would say half their their products are have Bebe written across it, which was a cool thing with little rhyan stones on there.

But why did I say it the fancy way? Why was that like Bebebebe?

I don't know, did you ever was it? You were too young for bib?

No? I was Bebe was like I mean, I was like bebe. Abercrombie and Fetch oh god remember those?

Like how was that store still in business?

Abercrombie? I don't know, especially you got to watch that documentary that's like all about I mean, they rebranded.

But well they did now the one in Mission Bayjome all they took the shutters off one window so you can see in, but they're black. Shutters are still on the other And the smell that pumps in the air vents is not as strong as it used to be, but it's still pretty bad.

You know, the smells at Disney as well.

I heard that.

It's crazy to me and I haven't been in an Abercrombie store in quite some time.

I would not even step foot in there.

Well, sometimes you don't have a choice. It's like the fact that I feel like I'm my kids always want to go into Brandy Melville. Oh yeah, yeah, for some overpriced sweatpants that will fit for two days, because then.

They well, you know, Brandy, they have one size fits all. So it is ridiculous and I'm and they get a lot of shit for it. But everything's one size fits all. Which you ever picked up pair of their jeans?

No, I like this big Well, and they don't even care. They're like, you know what, we're making money for this, Yeah, we're not even We're not going to be a place for everyone. We're going to be a place for a couple of people. And I guess it does. It does pretty well. This just in for my social media. Maer does really well in lt K. Yeah, I love a good statement necklace. I'm curious to see where this was.

I thought they were kind of cute for the time. For the time we used to wear this big giant I mean the two thousands. We were early two thousands, the big jewelry. Everything was overly it was gattie and oh.

Well, then we go into the recording studio. Grammy Award winning artists and producer and rapper Wan Ge go to Joe's house to work on her music. They tell her she has a great voice. Does Joe actually have a single that has been released?

Well, I will tell you this. Early two thousand, her and Lady Gaga and Cindy Lauper were openers at a concert in New York.

Oh, she has a full album. We can add. We can add Joe's one of Joe's songs to our Housewives cover album that we're going to do.

Yeah, so they were at the House of Blues. I don't know who they opened for, but yeah, she was opener with Lady Gaga. Obviously Lydy Gaga took off.

I'm just seased to guess what the album name was. I scripted oh shocker. But oci definitely started with like housewives trope, singing career, jewelry line, thirsty men who want to be housewives.

I mean they're coming in hot.

Then Lauria is surprised as she goes goes outside and finds a brand new car from George. Vicky says she is jealous of Laurie getting everything handed to her. When is Vicky green eyed Gumbelson not jealous? Well, I will tell you she was so insanely jealous. I think I even heard about this in the third season about how Lauria gets everything handed.

I don't know, that's just her nature. She's just a very jealous person.

It's very weird to me, Like I if you got if somebody gave you, whether you've always had to work or not. I still don't have that like chip in me where I'm like, okay, oh, that really infuriate.

She's not ever it just never happy for anybody else instead of being yes, you know you went through shit, you got divorced, you haven't pals your son. You met a great guy, and he's like she met a douche. She met a great guy and he's taking care of her, like good for her, and she seems like a nice person, and she's forty five years old. You know, they got married, they're still married. But to just not be happy for somebody is in Vicky's nature.

I think we all see that.

Well, the other.

Person that wasn't happy for Laurie was her daughter. Oh my god, she really wanted that car herself or another one. I'm like, poor George is like, what did I get myself into? Kids don't act like that these days on Housewives. They're they're more, they're better media trained, they're Kardashian trained. But then we get Tammy leaves her Catalina for the weekend and locks Lindsay out of the house so she

Where does Lindsay live if she doesn't live with Tammy? She's only eighteen?

Oh I heard this part. I thought the same thing, so I went and rewound it. She was supposed to be staying with her dad.

Wow, oh gotcha, gotcha?

But then apparently she didn't, so.

She crawled through the doggie door to get She was a very small door. I know she's a very small girl. Lindsay's very tiny and had a party. I mean it was going to be filmed.

I also want to know who cleaned up that party, because I don't believe it was Lindsay. No, I really I don't believe it.

I never had a secret party when my parents were not home. I didn't party, though I was.

I mean I partied, but we partied in fields like the rest of the people in South Carolina. We would go out to like a random I never drank some designated driver.

I was thinking, like, ahad, my kids don't drink, and I'm like either, Hi, I didn't either, like all of high school. I I drank one time at a neighbor's house in high school and I bar so bad that I never drank again.

Oh look at you.

But I ended up pregnant at seventeen. But I didn't droberly.

Yeah, I did it soberly. What about when car goes wine was for women? I was like, I can't. This part was actually very hard for me. When Joe heads to the studio to record her song for the first time, and she's late, which you know how I feel about being late. But then at least I really hope it was the editing, because at least twenty five times she said, if Slade just got here with my Starbucks, I would be better. I know, the.

Whole thing was a little Well you'll see when Gretchen comes in, Slade tries to get her a singing career as well.

Well, she has a single I checked. Oh god, she does know who we forgot. I mean, we've got to do a full thing. We're going in the studio. We'll see if the same guys will have us in. But we also forgot that we could do Yolanda song the airplane. Oh my god.

Yeah, Well, huh, that's all we got, folks.

That's all we got here for another fast forward to season three when the Tamster gets there. Oh Tamster Tamster and the Simona sim Yeah, that's gonna be a real chore.

My tan skin and bleach blood, broken hair, yeah.

And Lauri's jewelry and a baby slash baby top yep, and big old take old biddies take, Old biddies can't wait.

Big old motherly giant jugs giant free Jesus jugs

MHM