Episode VII: More Athletes Matt and Bowen are Watching

It rings from the voices. Two guys, we really are just two voices at the end of all this you know about.

I mean, and we're lucky to have a voice in so many ways. Would you say yes?

Once you learn to use yours and that question can be whatever it means to you.

You know, I had good teachers. I had a good choir teacher told me you're a baritone. I said, really, this voice, this voice is a baritone.

You are one of the best baritones of our time.

Well, I might have dropped a couple octaves.

It happens. I'm life worn, road hard, put away wet by this thing we call life.

By this thing we call life.

You know.

I feel like that's the grectly Gainus biopic title right there. Road hard, put.

Away, hard, and put away wet by this thing called life. I love it.

We're still pining after Greg luganis from our first discussion of him.

Honey, when someone becomes a Google search with their name and the word shirtless, or their name and the word hot, or their name and the word speedo or their name and the word fill in thirsty blank, that's just now your computer knows okay, and your computer talks to your phone, which talks to you know, the cosmos.

The cosmos, you know what. I'm terrified we'll make its way out there, and so I'm just going to come out ahead of it.

What are you so afraid of?

So around the same time as Greg Lugina's Shirtless in My Youth, I was also discovering the website Broadway dot com, and on Broadway dot Com you could learn more about the shows that were on in and off Broadway, including the show Naked Boy Singing.

Can I say it's one of the great sites if you want to know what's on Broadway right now or even coming up down the pike. Broadway dot Com discover it now. I know Bowen discovered at a young formative age. Yeah, but log on, but continue, log on, go off.

Add to car, I discovered Naked Boy Singing, the classic off Broadway review that features you guessed it, Naked Boy Singing. And some of these boys were and still are quite titillating for a boy of pubescent age and post you know.

What, you certainly post and I'm going to reveal something in a sec But you wouldn't book that job if you weren't going to get up there and look delightful singing in the nude. I when I was in college, dated one of the naked boys singing, Oh my God, very briefly, and I was like, I really want to come see your show. He was mortified. He was like, absolutely not. You may not tell him. He's like, it's not He's like, it's not naked boy singing in like a sexy way or the way I want you to

Little a little corny. And then the way that we love, well, it's foppish, it's popish. And I don't think he wanted me to see him in the poppish ways, but I said, no, I think that'll be good.

That'll be good. But I never did see him in the show, and I never did see him naked.

Well, that first part is going to say, good for you for respecting boundaries. That second part I go, well, that's a shame. If you wanted to see him naked.

I know, and I never did. But basically, when I talk about adversity, bo just to bring it back to Paris and we got to be sh Carrie Richardson has solidified her spot.

It's a dream deferred, but it tastes just as sweet.

My god, you are one of the most beautiful speakers I learned.

Geez my voice. Thank you, choir, thank you all statements, choir. Thank you. Because Bowen Yang always had the tambour, you didn't always have the words. Thank you, teachers, t thank you teachers. Let's celebrate and coaches. Let's celebrate Shakii Richardson, her coaches, her teachers. She is the clear favorite for the women's one hundred two in the gold. We are so thrilled for Shakri Legend.

We love you, a world leader in this event. Ten point seventy one seconds literally ten seconds, literally quite literally. You say I'll be there in ten seconds, and everyone always sort of tosses that off as meaning I'll be literally right there. She was one spot in the track to the next in ten seconds.

If you say I'll be there in ten seconds, your name better be shad Carry Richardson, because otherwise you're a liar. And I don't want to make a liar out of you.

No, no, And this is what we were saying about it being down to the milliseconds because it feels commanding. I mean like she is the front runner, but Melissa Jefferson also clinched her place in Paris, taking second place with ten point eight seconds, as did twenty Sha Terry, who held on for a third ten point eight nine. So let's just say something right now. All these girls will be there in ten seconds.

If they say they will be there in ten seconds, within oh point one eight seconds of each other. It is a photo finish, as we call it in the biz. It is a dead heat.

It is a dead heat across the board, across the board.

These girls are touching the line at around the same time.

At right around the same time. Do you think there is a sisterhood amongst them?

I think Tanisha and Melissa and Sha Carrie go out for drinks and they go, we need a fourth. We need to complete the Sex and the City quadrillo quartel.

My god, oh my god, they really do they need a fourth? They need a fourth so rough to be like in a four and know that only three of you can go on, you know what I mean?

Like ough, you need them to clink a Cosmo glassgow. Why do we stop drinking these? You need a fourth one to go because everyone else started?

And can I say you delivered that in a way that Candace Bushnell could never because she's behind the scenes. But my girl is a huge star, and he took those lines written by an iconic woman and delivered by iconic women. I have to say, who do you think would win in one hundred meter race, Carrie, Miranda, Charlotte or the iconic Samantha.

I think the easy answer is Miranda, But I think Charlotte comes in out of nowhere.

I think Charlotte is so prepared. I think Charlotte is going to be She also was always on her exercise game. When she's always walking around the city, She's always moving. She's a cardio queen like and they build that into the show. It's not explicit, but she is a queen.

But Charlotte's sex scenes were always the most aerobic. Everyone's like, oh, it's Samantha was the big fluozy or whatever. But Charlotte can put it down.

Yeah. I think that it's going to be between her and Samantha, because Samantha, you know, she's very limber, like she keeps herself. I think Samantha keeps it squeaky. To put it quitely, and to quote the legend Ari she's.

Been drinking coffee and she keeps it squeaky. She's been eating healthy. I feel like she you know, she has a very high intensity job. She's a big publicist. She's drinking water, she's staying stretched. She lives such a physical, kernal life that I think she's going to go for the gold in a major way. Mmm. I just do we ever talk about this not to reference our other podcasts? What Samantha's a publicist, Yeah, Charlotte's Katy, Miranda the reader,

I think I think Carrie is a finalist because we have to file into the different categories. But I will say this in this context, Carrie Bradshaw is gonna be fourth place in the race, and she's not going to qualify for the Paris Olympics, which first of all.

She doesn't make her literally doesn't make her finalist.

She's not a finalist in this Regardo. So I think we know she wouldn't really want to go back to Paris. Probably would be very triggering if you watched the last season. But I do want to say her arches are destroyed. The Manolo Blaniks have destroyed her feet, and Carrie Richardson, I bet she has gorgeous arches such that would carry her over the finish line and into the gold medal position, hopefully in the Paris Games. But Carrie's arches are destroyed.

So sorry, Carrie, you will not be going to Paris. You will always be known like Lauren Conrad, as the girl who didn't go to Paris, but you did. You actually did in the end.

And I think that Miranda would throw.

Diss Miranda would be discussed. She would want to harken back to antiquity.

Yes, and I'm happy that you made it about that and not about the obvious lesbian thing, because there is obviously an obvious lesbian thing.

To say, lesbian's played Frisbee.

I certainly think that they are more shot put discus people.

Than Frisbye is for everybody.

I don't know. I don't mean to center any sexual orientation around these events. I guess as a former track athlete who ran a mile in four minutes and thirty six seconds at my best at age fifteen, I just kind of the girls I knew, like, let's just say, in the future, they would come out. They would come out of the closet as LGBTQ plus the shot putters and the disc throwers.

I want to first of all, that is huge insight. Thank you for educating me.

I'm just trying to be anthropological about this.

And you are and you always have been. Thank you speaking which I want to preview something I want to bring to our other podcast, Hospitalistists, but I want to sort of like test out here.

Do I know about it?

No? Oh, And I've actually been waiting for the right mind. Went to share this with you.

We're working it out on the remix.

It's working out on the remix. I am really getting a little sick of watching everybody, including queer people, stumble on the letters of LGBTQ plus. It just makes everybody uncomfortable, like we all kind of short circuit. We're just it's like it's like, really, those are letters that are all very tough on the the addiction, the elocution. It's hard to really like blow past it, right, yes, especially if you're like kind of talking talking talking, your words permitted

That is my immediate response.

And as a French sounding word, I think Paris. I think the Olympics is a great place to debut it for the culture Legiabetique.

Batique. The Legia Batique community is back now with this, we are so back. I have to tell you. I can see luminaries saying this word. I can see Chloe Sevani saying, are we not luminaries ourselves? Well, first of all, I just want to say the fact that you, with that baritone and this background and this training, the fact that you were the one to bring this forward, I think means something. And I think leisure Bautique, that's certainly the community I'm a part of.

I'm Elizabetique.

Down is shau Carrie part of the Elizabetique.

I think so. Greg Lugainis was one of the first Eligabatique icons at the Olympics who was out Shakarrie Richardson legabetique, legend.

Elizabet legend. Queer woman Shaky Richardson is now fastest woman in the world. She's the fastest elizap batique individual on planet Earth.

That's amazing.

It's raining greatness. I have to say that with my full chest.

Are so here to say it is raining greatness. I don't even care that this is for everyone.

It's four gays.

Now, it's four gays. It's for legitbatiques, dead ass. Do you think legibatique has legs.

One hundred percent? I want you to know I feel not only excited about it, but inspired by it.

Thank you.

Please spell it well.

First of all, I think if anyone sees imprint on paper on screen the letters LGBTQ plus, you can read that as legibatique. Yes, but if you want to like create a distinct word for it, you know, because for linguistic reasons, the word represents the concept. And so L E G E b A t i q you e.

You threw an a in there that I did not expect, but very queer leisure bautique. For some reason, I was seeing L E G E B E t i q u E leisabatique. But it's eat to me because I'm not the creator. You threw the first brick, I did, you laid the first letters.

Thank you? Can I say this The bricks were already there, the letters. I just look the more I put the mortar around the bricks.

I'm always so proud of you, the way that you carry the legacy of our ancestors forward. But when you said Lejah Batique, and I want you to hear this, you really did something there. And to be told that by another game personally that you really did something there.

Oh my god, this is one of this is I this is one of the biggest honors of my life to hear you.

Say that you There should be an award for when someone really does something there, like you remember when you won the Human Rights Campaign Award for visibility. I do because I gave the speech. We need to go back in time to make it that this year someone really did something there. About the Cultural Awards next year, we have to have this is the award for someone that really did something that wins.

Shakirie. Oh I got Cari, please come to the Culture Awards. Okay, we are getting so off track.

We got to bring it back to Paris. Today we're here to talk about basically if you thought we've even breached the surface of the athletes that we can look forward to seeing. Like I mean, we're popping off about Shakarry because there's big news like she is a qualifier, but there are so many more top athletes to talk about.

And this is what we're doing today on this episode of Two Guys, Five Rings. We got to bring it back to Paris. There are some stars in the making, if not already stars is born out of the dust and space.

Mm hmm.

I want to talk about our bee boy and b girl legends. Yep, Victor Montalvo and Sonny Choi, who is the coolest girl.

In the world confirmed in a first hand type of way.

From you confirmed cool girl lives for sure.

Talk to us about Victor Montalvo, known as bee Boy Victor and Sonny Choi, who is the legend you've met? What are they going to bring to breaking an Olympic sport.

Victor is the first American ever to qualify for the Olympics and breaking. He's the favorite to win the gold medal in the Olympic debut of men's breaking. I think this man is gonna walk home with a heavy neck.

B boy.

Victor got into the sport through his father, Victor. I think we have a junior here.

I think we've got a junior here.

I think we got a junior here. And uncle Hector Bermudez, his twin brother, father's twin brother. Ooh, if I had a twin uncle, if my dad had a twin, I'd say, hold on now, now, which one.

Of you is? Which one are you? Now? Are you dad of your uncle? Because let me tell you something Todd out here too, tell.

And they and so these are both be boy legends from Mexico. They discovered breaking through a friend's cousin homemade Breaking documentary, which they watched on VCR. Here we go, Matt, you certainly had a VCR and you could have had the same gateway to breaking as Victor and Hector and Victor Junior. But that's not how my life panned out. And that's okay, that's okay. Victor said his father was the quote only one who truly believed in him, And we just want to stay here and now on two guys,

Now we believe in you too. We are your father now It's like from the movie Precious when Paula Patton, the teacher says you, that's us. That is so us coded towards we.

Are Paula Patten and we are Mariah Carey.

I mean, you know who believes in sunny CHOI me Wharton School.

Wharton. Oh my god, did.

You know that sunny CHOI graduated with a Bachelor of Science in marketing in twenty eleven from Penn's Wharton School. That is intense.

For her to get a Bachelor of Science in marketing is like me getting And this is actually what happened. I have a Bachelor of Arts in Chemistry, not a bachelor. Now, most people who were in the program graduated with a Bachelor in Science. I did not qualify with my grades and credits to get a BS, and so I had a Bachelor in Arts. Bachelor of Arts and chemistry famously not an art and more of a science.

I would say, I would totally disagree that chemistry is not an art. See this podcast for example, Girl, this is an art. What we do. This chemistry is artful.

It's an art.

I know you're good because you can really do it with a broken heart. I know you're good because you can really do it with a broken heart.

There you go. In January twenty twenty three, Sonny quit her job as the director of Global Creative Operations at as Stay Lauder to focus on breaking full time. This is a girl who said, honey, get the lipstick off, wipe off the concealer's watches. I'm putting on loose fitting clothes and breaking for my job.

I love this. This is aspirational af Imagine being the coolest person everyone knows. And you're Sonny and you're the director of Global Creative Operations at Esta Lauder and you went to Pennswarton School. You're like unbothered. Of course you can break, but you don't do it. And then you're already this person that's a full icon and you say, you know what, I'm leveling up even more. I'm actually going to the Olympics and I'm not just gonna go.

No, she is one of our best straits.

That's okay.

Oh, it's more than we celebrate. That's not just okay, man. That's like saying I tolerate gay people.

No, no, no, I would don't do that. Well, I do tolerate gay people. Just to be I do tolerate gay people. Gay guys they don't just want attention, you know, they don't actually want to date you. They just want your attention. They want you to engage with them in a way that would suggest something happened. But then they don't actually want anything to happen. They just want the attention and to do the little bait and fish. Anyway, single girls

I think this has the beginnings of a rom come the Olympics. No Carissa being like this is my last year.

Oh yeah, that's good.

I'm not doing this anymore. But then she falls in love with a gorgeous person in Tahiti who not only lights of fire romantically, but lights of fire for her love of surfing, of competitive surfing. And she boards the plane and Tahiti to go to Paris for the closing ceremonies and to hang it all up. But this person that she's met, maybe it's a mermaid in the water, goes. Don't go to Paris, stay in Tahaitis surf with me. I think we should write it.

He was Tahiti along. That was sort of me trying to make it like like I was here all along work. I don't think that really did. Who would you cast in this part? Sydney's REENI should we just do that and hang it up?

I think Sidney should be Carissa. I think you would be the Mermaian. You think people would love to see you as the Mermian.

Do you think me and sid Swain would have romantic chemistry?

Oh? My god? Like you wouldn't if she and I. She she was convincing. She's so good of an actor that she made it believable that we would have any chemistry.

No problem, you have a Bachelor of Arts and Chemistry. About when you have chemistry with anyone. It is what you what's what do you went to school for?

I think you and sid Sween would get along gangbusters hope.

So I couldn't like her. I kind of have a crush on her. My celebrity crush is Sidney Sweeney.

I gotta tell you something. See, this is when we're not Elizabetigue. Is when we're the Thursday After Assists woman we go she's she's really gorgeous.

She's really gorgeous. Anyway, I do think she should play Charissa Moore. I think that'd be great. Also, iconic name carisam Moore. Did I make that up? Or what Kisa Moore is a name I would make out.

No, it sounds like she's part of the X menme Jean Gray, Madeline bryor carrisam Moore.

When she goes into the water, she turns into a shark woman. She hears our mutant friend weakscept her. Sometimes these outsiders are just looking for acceptance. Do you ever think about that?

Not very leisure fautiguuld be not very legend batique.

You know this is just like okay, by the way, I actually so we're looking now at the document, because I want to tell you something, nothing gets done without a document in podcasting. Everyone out. That's a peak behind the curtain. So we sort of have a guide here that the producers have made and the question before they they suggested some possible conversation prompts, which I think is adorable of them, because like, imagine us coming on here and not having things to flap our trap about, and

So I was going to say it is an act of pure generosity and kindness m hm, that they are giving us some structures, some way into let's just say, bringing it back to Paris.

Well, the possible question topic to start this and then we're going to bring it right back to Paris was, Matt, what songs were in heavy rotation on your iPod nano during your storied four thirty six mile. By the way, their attempt to try to date me with the iPod

I want you to describe what you were seeing, what you were feeling at what point in the mile or in the run, or in the event, whatever is tied to Kelly singing no, I don't cry on the outside anymore.

I'm so happy you said that literal part, because of course real fans know, and everyone that listens to this podcast tuned in so that hopefully we talk about this very topic. I know that total one to one with what this podcast is supposed to be. But there's a part in the bridge when Kelly in the music video is in a white wedding dress. They're commonly white, and she's absolutely running through the woods and she's getting fifth feet dirty and she looks so stunning. She's in the mud.

I was gay, then I am gay now. Leja battique, les je batique. That is my leisure batique story.

Let's bring it back to Paris. Thank you for sharing that.

We have to give out the medals between Carrissa Moore, Sonny Choy and b Boy Victor, Like we have to like this is it's the time of the episode where we have to start making big decisions.

Okay, you know what, I love Victor. He is going to be a star. He is guaranteed to win the gold. He doesn't need our gold. I'm gonna give him the bronze.

Yeah, I was gonna say the same thing. I mean, Victor again, we love you and we believe in you, just like your father. You just get the bronze today. That's It's okay.

But you're leaving Paris with at least one gold in the debut event of men's breaking.

So congratulations, congrats on that. Now the silver medal, I think we have to give that. Who do you think this is close? This is milliseconds.

I'm gonna give it to Carissa. Yeah. I can'tnot get my girl Sonny the gold. That is a star. And you got excited at the potential of her being leisure fatigue, but she is not.

That's okay. I think that I'm still okay with giving straight people the medals, even though I'm so excited about shir Carrie and like you know, we talk a lot about Greg Like, well, I'm still okay with straight people winning the medals. I just don't think the Olympics are for them anymore. They're for us now. But I can they still win a medal here or there.

Don't displace or don't you're gentrifying the Olympics.

Okay, damn it. I was really trying hard not to do that on this podcast.

Gay guys, we gentrify and we just have to reckon with that.

Leisure fatigue is so complicated to be so I guess we're giving Sunny Troy the gold.

Huh, Sonny gets the gold. This girl was working at s day Lauder running the pop ups and the activations and figuring out how to get a booth at the mall Global Creative Operations. That is a huge, huge responsibility for a I'm sorry, disc big global company.

So let me tell you something. She It's like when someone is so good at living life that they I guess you could say she shreds. She shreds. Sunny shreds.

Sunny shreds the endgame for her and this is is actually from her. She wants to open up a nonprofit dance studio and just pay it forward. She is the Alicia Edwards of the Olympics. We have to give her the gold.

She has the gold. Congratulations, Sonny, you earn the medal that matches the hue of your name and you were born for this moment.

Sonny congratulations, that was beautiful, That was poet.

Thank you, thank you. You know I learned to use my voice too many years ago. Can't get into it now, though, because while we're wrapping up the episode and we want to thank everyone for being here yet again and invite you to watch every moment of the twenty twenty four paras Olympics beginning July twenty six on NBCNP and for the first time, you can stream the twenty twenty four parischemes on the iHeartRadio app.

We hope you enjoyed this episode. We hope you use Elizabeth Chief in the real world. Do you really want this to be a movement?

We finally did it.

We finally did it. I think we solved something.