Ring, Ring, Ring Ring, Well, we're back to guys, five rings. Do you want to know why? The ring ring ring ring ring? Yesterday? So we recorded our first two episodes and I was like, where do I know that from? Do you want to know where that's from?
I don't even know ring ring ring, ring Ring. I don't know where that's from.
Tell me?
Did I just steal someone else's thing?
No, because it sung in the media that I know it from. Which is the song ring by Cardi B and Kailani?
Oh, it's like you don't got a lamomal No, No, you just man ring ring ring ring, It's a Kilani coded. Now what is the song? Can you help me? I d this song ring ding Dong ring Ding ding dong? Do you remember that? It's like it was like I want to say two thousand and three kind of like, all right, ding Dong ring ding dong, No girl ring ding dong ring.
Type that into the Google search sport it's doctor Drey. Oh my god, look, and Sean knew it was doctor Dre.
It's Doctor Dre. Sean Sean knew.
What's your favorite ring song? What's what's our favorite?
Oh my gosh, I'm going to say seven rings by a that's.
A really good one, because I don't think anything really steps to seven rings. But I'm going to say really good. I'm going all the way back to no, no, no, I'm going back to the shangri Laws. They they referenced rings in.
Can You Smell? Yes?
We see I and they say, hey, is that Jimmy's rings she's wearing?
I don't know.
Ask Betty the way spoken word wait, talk about drama. No song delivered drama.
Like leader of the Pack by the Shangrila.
Leader of the Pack. You know what I finally watched yesterday? I finally watched the CHROMATICA Ball.
Oh my god, what did you think we're recording this in June? By the way, early June.
Yeah, it was an early June. I finally watched CHROMATICA Ball on Max. I thought it was you know what it did? It really reminded me of being there. You know, I don't know if if in and of itself, it was like, this is the concert experience that I'm used to now that we've got eras and renaissance like that you can watch at any given time, but it definitely was like, Wow, this was a really fun concert that I loved being.
At That's great. Go Lady Go, Lady Gaga go. Would love to see her at the Olympics, just in the oh my god, watching artistic swimming.
I would love to see her judge, you know what I mean, Like if we added Lady Gaga as a judge to every Olympic category and basically like they all did their scores on like technique and presentation, and then she judged on just art pop on art pop like where it is at a one through ten, like even the races, you know what I mean, Like someone could clearly win. But did they serve art pop?
Right? Did they serve kindness punk?
One of the most important things you could do is remember to be a kindness punk each and every day of your life.
That's so important. I just want to say I had a sport adjacent moment yesterday.
Gone.
Well, first of all, Vancouver, Yeah, the famous Olympic town. They had their Winter Olympics. So apparently there's a group called WESA here and it's the softball league, Yes, and each team puts forward a person I'm usually a gay man to perform in drag and the rest of the softball team is backup dancers, and I thought it was very athletic what they were doing and artistic, but it felt like a little preview for the Olympics. For me, I thought, this is giving me Olympics the way that
they are doing maybe this time by Liza Minelli. This is reminding me of the Olympics in some way.
It's very art pop. So honestly, god Go should have been there to score that because she had these athletes who were giving art pop in the form of drag and can I say thank God they sent the gay men to be in Dragon, not one of the straight members of the softball team, because you never this is a famous expression, you never sent a straight man to do a gay man's job.
And I would say that's a real culture, but we haven't. Now today we're going to get into the five rings. Right now, we're still in two guys segment.
This is the two guys section of the episode, and then we get into five Rings. But this is one of the most exciting episodes because it's all about the Olympic Village.
Which is kind of abstract, right. We always think about the Olympic Village in a very like fantastical way, but then the reality of. It is so much more interesting than you could possibly ever realize.
Can I tell you what I picture in my mind's eye when I think of the Olympic village and it can't be this a baker, you're thinking of a village in terms of like a beauty and the beast to ask.
I'm thinking of beautying the beast provincial town.
And what I'm thinking of is I'm thinking of it looks like the VIP area at any given like music festival, Like, oh, there's a little hot dogs there, Like here's where you can get your flawn. Here's where you can get this Like it's.
Like it's always the flawn at music festivals.
Well, at the VIP section. It's like when you go to Coachella and you got your wristband, you go into the little fantasy station. I'm certain there is. Can I say, I'm certainly not eating flawn at the music festival.
But I don't know any that anybody is.
I bet you could get it there at Coachella. We'll check in next year.
I'm sure you can get it, but no one's buying it anyway.
Yeah, I'm that's in my mind's eye. I'm seeing like a very corporate like like something that feels very.
Active, little brand activations all around.
Correct, that's what I'm seeing on mind' eye, But really it's I guess it basically just can't really be that. You have to strip it way back everything that we have in our mind's eye. Maybe you're closer because it is just where they live. I'm sure they have to have like little spots that can go little town. It's a quiet village, their whole life away.
But well, on that note, we're gonna really we're actually going to find out what is in the village when we come back from this break.
We're back.
We're now in five Rings territory.
Are we sure?
Are? Let's talk about the Olympic Village. Let's I kind of want to live in the fantasy more before we actually break down, Like, look at some facts and figures about the Olympic Village. I I really want it to be. I want there to be a playground, but I want like I want to I know what we're both.
Thinking, what do you what do you think I'm thinking?
I think we are both thinking and wishing that there was a roller coaster ride.
And the all I'm saying is at least some theme park attractions, you know what I mean, like at least get the ferris wheel hooked up, at least turn on, you know. But also some of these carnival rides that they put up for like little dinky things are the ones that make you sick. And I don't want the athletes all sick.
I don't want a dinky ride. I want Imagineeer level, Universal Studios caliber, Epic Universe caliber, Epic Universe caliber engineering.
I agree with you. I mean I want that all the time. But you know, what would the theme be? What would it be like if you're in the Olympic, if you're in the Olympic village. Yes, I I feel like, what's the theme of the ride? Like, what's the universal thing that's speaking to everyone?
Champion? Okay, yeah, like victory? The theme is victory?
Yeah. So you start the ride, you get in and it's like maybe it's like you're starting a race and then something goes off the off the rails, like and then is it like is it like a ride through Paris?
Like oh no, yes, I love that. There has to be an Olympics ride.
Why, I mean, I guess it's up to the NBC Universal They have a whole theme park train, and then they could be doing a lot with Olympics themed ride. Because can I say something? And I love to Jimmy Fallon, but Jimmy Fallon has a whole ass ride in Universal Studios, Florida, and I'm going to say Thempics are a way bigger deal than Jimmy just because they've been around a lot longer. Why don't they deserve a ride in this famously film
and television themed theme park. I mean, the Olympics is television. I'm only making points here.
I don't like what you're doing. I don't want this to get back to Jimmy that you say the Olympics are bigger than him.
It's nothing against them.
I don't want you to run a foul of Big Jim Tonight show Big Jim.
Here's what I'll say, just to broaden it. The Olympics are a bigger franchise than the Men in Black franchise, and yet they have a ride.
Certainly bigger than the Mummy, certainly bigger than the Mummy. Let's actually start getting into facts about the Olympic village. Shallly, sure, Matt, the Olympic Village will be the home of more than fourteen thousand athletes and entourage members participating in the Olympic Games. Later, for the Paralympic Games, another nine thousand athletes and entourage
members move in. The village will be mostly situated in the north of Paris, on the banks of the River Senn, So we're talking right banked the of which is the northern bank of Paris.
Thank god you're here again. Bowen Yang's first language being French is so huge for this podcast. It's a major hook. It really sets us apart from other podcasts that are going to be covering the Olympics because a lot of people would pronounce that like drawa. Well, I'm not even gonna try. Yeah, exactly the pedestrian pronunciation, but not here,
not with bowen Yang speaking of pedestrians. There's going to be fourteen thousand people living in this village, Okay, So can I say something number before when I cast out on the fact that we were going to have enough budget to create like a theme park level attraction in this village. Now fourteen thousand people. It's Paris, it's NBC Universal, baby, we have the money. What we actually need a big
theme park attraction in the village just for foot traffic. Oh, we need to take some people off the streets, get them in the coaster. Yeah, you have.
You are giving urban planning.
Oh, I'm giving been planning every second of my life. I'm thinking how do we make this better? Every second of my life. I'm pointing up to whatever city I'm in and I'm saying, now, how do we change this for the better? Structurally? Just I'm always thinking about how we move people.
Yes, you always think about this. Talk about the thing about Paris, the architectural trademark of Paris, which is low rise housing, low rise buildings in general, nothing above I think, I want to say twelve stories, but usually it's like nothing about eight stories. That's why the Eiffel Tower sticks out.
So I'm really happy that you brought this up because I've been waiting to talk about this. Okay, So you know how they say that Paris is the city of love and light exactly, so basically, and one of the narratives about the Olympic Village is that people be right, you know what I mean. Like we talked in the last episode about how there's tons of condoms out et cetera. So this actually does go all the way back to
foot traffic. Because we don't have the vertical real estate, we can't have a lot of people really inside like stacked.
I mean, this is already a big, full, hot biomass. So let's talk about the bedrooms. Because the bedrooms might.
Oh, let's talk about it.
Well, it's there. I think the bedrooms you'll have some thoughts on because I don't think they are encouraging activity sexual activity.
Well we'll talk about that, because I think that sometimes horniness can outweigh practicality. But let's hear. Let's tell your facts and figures.
Matt, I want to do a price is right this sort of thing? You how many condoms do you think are handed out in the Olympic village? Will be handed out in the Olympic village because we have an answer to this because someone at NBC did help us with research. But how many condoms do you think are handed out in the Olympic village this year?
Fourteen thousand athletes, You have to imagine at.
Least at least ten to eleven thousand of them are horny people. You have to imagine that you know they're not having sex just once. They're probably having sex. Like I'm going to say, on the average two times, so let's go in the lower end ten times two twenty k I'm gonna say they hand out just because of you know, the way that you know, things get disseminated around and you know this often so much merch and more than you ever think you're gonna need.
So add five thousand. I'm gonna say, twenty five thousand condoms. Geta hand it out.
Hold on to your hat. We're going to reveal the number.
Later later, later, Oh my god, no, my girl was gonna edge me on the pod.
Girl, let's talk about the rooms.
Okay, that was really crazy we just did. Now I'm chomping.
It's a bit, but we're locking in at twenty five thousand condoms.
I would say, because I think more than that is kind of crazy.
Okay.
Another fact about the Olympic village. Okay, seventy two hundred rooms from forty thousand athletes. Case so in three thousand apartments in eighty two residential buildings. So eighty two residential buildings. What's the math on that? Like that is like that's like forty rooms per build, forty units per building, and then two or three people per room.
Athletes will share a bedroom with one other athlete and share a bathroom with three others, so it is giving full on college. You know, this actually is another place in the road where Bowen Yang and I diverged because you never had a roommate.
I did have a roommate, I had family. You didn't have like a college dorm room. I never had anyone in the same room. I never lived in the dorms exactly.
Yeah, you've never shared a room with another Yeah, feen year old? Was that with a literal stranger that you have? Isn't that whole concept crazy?
Oh?
Yeah, I'm gonna say for the Olympics, it's fine, like you got a bunk with someone for like a month or so, that summer camp vibes like that I can wrap my head around. But for college, they pair you with someone you don't know from Adam and you're supposed to sleep in the same room as them for a year.
And first of all, college is way harder than the Olympics. I okay, let's just say that, like, college is way harder than the Olympics. I'm talking about a place where you really need a lot of space, and they don't give you any It's college. So there you are in college or with someone else, you have to literally hear them sleep, eat, speak, all these things. And meanwhile, in the Olympics, like you know, you're in and out. But in college you have to be with that person for
a whole year. And if you didn't like that person, god speed. I would say I sort of liked my roommate. I did. I was also in a sweet mate situation. We all shared a bathroom. It's precarious. It's precarious because what if that person is a slob, It could really throw you.
Oh yeah, your affect your studies.
Also, I guess the amount of communication about sex because also, but the thing is, this is what I was gonna tell you, Like sharing a room with someone that's not gonna like essentially include sexual activities. It's not. I think they just turn the other way. They go I get it.
Wow. Interesting. I don't have any roommate stories, but I do have a friend's anecdote. Okay, a good friend of ours his college roommate smelled so bad and did not do did not make a good just did not have good hygiene overall with his laundry and whatever. That this person, our friend one night, while this person was sleeping, sprayed fabreeze over his body. That's how bad.
That is violating. I don't doubt anything.
I don't find it humorous. I find it shocking. I'm not laughing. Do you hear ha.
HAA someone was fabreezed in their sleep? Okay, that is using a drug on someone while they sleep. That's you that story here, so we could all laugh. Someone being drugged.
Drugged? No one was drugged, kidding, no one was. The fumes were giving.
Well damn, I mean, listen, here's the thing. Normalize a lot of these athletes are gay. Okay, let's just say that, first and foremost, a lot of these athletes are gay, and I am so happy for them.
Well, let's just apply the ten percent figure at least, well, it's seven percent, okay, but I can't do that math right now, so I'm say I'm gonna round that up to ten. Let's say fourteen hundred of these people for the Olympics, yeah, are gay, and then nine hundred for the Paralympics are gay.
Here's what I'm really curious about. What is what are the apps looking like? The gay apps looking like?
In the village.
I bet they pop off.
I remember in twenty twelve in London there was a story not widely reported, but there was your story. Hold on, there was a story that that grinder in the Olympic Village crashed. The entire time.
They were looking and looking and looking. By the way media report on the fact that grinder crashed in the Olympic village, that's a big story. Okay, I'm looking at the amenities of the Olympic Village where we talk about this.
Yes, let's talk about amenities.
Okay. There's a twenty four hour fitness center containing more than three hundred and fifty machines and two saunas. That feels like probably enough. That's a lot of space.
Listen, if the bed situation, if the roommate situation ain't working out for you to bring someone home, you go to the sauna.
Yeah, exactly. There's a village club which will be the place to relax, socialize and watch coverage of the game. So this is what I'm talking about. This is like the central situation. This is the VIP situation. Like I guarantee, like they make it really nice. In the words of Derinda NBC Universal Icon on the in the Olympic Village, so clearly we have we have. There's a center. Speaking of centers, there is a multi faith center where you
can worship or pray for victory or body worship your lover. Honestly, like listen, you said it not Mesis. There's a medical clinic, thank god. I mean these people are they need to be maintained. There is see, this is what I'm talking about here, the Village Plaza, which offers a variety of services for village residents, including a hair salon, bank, coffee bar, grocery store, merch store, and post office because the mail
doesn't stop. This is what I'm talking about, Like this is like, this makes it, This makes it, Yeah, a place where you could live full time. It's a village. It takes a village. More than two hundred bikes will be available for athletes to help them get around the village. Big Biking place Europe, you know this. Yes, electric shuttles also will transport village residents around. And there is a bakery in the Olympic Village that will hold workshops teaching
athletes how to make the perfect biget. So it's like site specific.
And it is as I was saying, I wanted a baker. It is giving me beauty and the beast. I don't know how many of these people are going to be eating baguettes, are going to be digesting simple carbs, are going to be you know, taking that much sugar in unless it's helpful for their event, but that get instead. That's going to be a hard sell for these professional athletes.
No, but think about this. Think about like, if your event is like up top, if your event is first, like that would be so gaggy because like if you get done in the first of two or three days, like.
Then you can literally well just sit in the village community center, eat bread, learn how to make bread, get on the grinder.
Really go off, go to the hair salon, go to the hair fun get your hair done.
Get your hair did, get your hair did. Oh you would that's where you would see me. And honestly, like, it would suck if your event was last, because you're sitting around like and you can't enjoy any of it, and then you have to leave at the end because the paralympians have to come in.
Well, I don't know. The best you can do is go to the coffee bar and yes, write your screenplay. Some of the athletes are writers exactly. Well, many athletes will pursue.
Career in the arts after this is over. Because remember if you if you are an Olympian, it does mean you probably have an on camera future.
It's true.
There's no kitchens in the apartments. Individual rooms contain no TVs or video game consoles. I don't know about all. This sounding like a jail situation to me. I don't like jam situation. Yeah, this feels like no televisions. But what do you think it has to just be a cost thing? I mean, because that would be a big expense. You know you got if you want to go watch TV, I guess go watching the community center with your bag at friends.
Now, maybe it's them wanting to reduce screen time. I don't know. But bring your iPad is what we're saying. If you're an Olympian, bring the iPad, Get the VPN. Make sure you can watch your American shows in France, because you know you can't get certain channels.
Text Bang on instructions on how to set up the VPN. He can help you.
I'll let you know. Okay, this is important. This is what I think about a lot and not just because of like the you know, the sexy stuff. It's this is important. Beds. Yeah, bases are made of reinforced recycled cardboard. Okay, we love sustainable. Mattresses are made from recycled fishing nets. I love that as well.
Yeah that's really good.
Healthy z just meet it. Sustainability targets. Of course, beds are sturdy enough to support five hundred and fifty one pounds in weight. Okay, this is enough for two tall swimmers. Yeah, you know, to spoon, you.
Could be just over two hundred and fifty pounds. Both of these and this, Oh my god, I'm thinking about these shot put these gay shot putters, like putting down the shot put picking up the.
Ooh, oh my god, wait what are you what are you doing?
I M sorry, my jaw just dropped because as you're talking, I looked over to the next number and I'm seeing how many condoms it is.
Oh you looked at the next number.
No, it was just right in front of me. Take it away on this one. This number is going to shock you.
We're going to reveal the number of condoms that are being handed out. Barberad NBC Sports, thank you for doing the research. Yeah, the Olympic Village is set to stock what did you say? What did you guess?
Earlier matt I said they would give out twenty five.
Three hundred thousand condoms will be stocked at the Olympic Village. I think that's wonderful. I think, whoa, we should practice safe sex. We can't have anyone catching diseases before they do their events.
And you know that's how somebody I hold I still think that's how some of these international rivals of ours are going to try to kneecap us is in the bedroom. They try to kneecap us in the bedroom. Bo, that's what they do.
I have the knee caps before ooh kinky.
The Olympics have been in the condom game since the nineteen eighty eight Soul Games when they were handed out to raise awareness of HIV AIDS. Well, I'm so happy that everyone is feeling healthy and thriving in the bedroom again. Like if my event was over early, you would see me eaten bagattes and get getting off the road to make way for some foot traffic. Let's just say that, filling myself up in bread and then you know, get to get into it.
Bread, for it is a choice.
There's a lot of words floating around here, like bread. There's a lot of words floating around here, like you know, I feel.
I think this is worth mentioning forty thousand meals daily during the games in the main dining hall with more than thirty two hundred seats. So that is a big dining hall. That's giving me you know, you can say it Harry Potter vibes. Now I was gonna say, you can say. It will feature food from around the world, with menu rotating every eight days and catering to all dietary and nutritional needs. Alcohol is not provided on the premises.
About one third of the five hundred recipes made will be vegetarian, and there will be a salad bar with more than thirty options, a mikrel, a cheese section, a bakery, a hot food buffet, a dessert bar, and a wide range of fruits. Oh god, this is getting resort.
It's truly sounding good. And I wonder like if they say entourage members are allowed in, Like you probably have to be online some sort of very exclusive list to even get in here.
But look, simone, if you have room on the list. Matt and I would love to come.
Wait as a real thing. Because I have a couple questions about the perks of doing this podcast. If we wanted to, could we get into the Olympic Village just to like walk around, Like, could we figure that out? This lovely woman Barbara, I mean, can we reach out to her. Let's see what she can do. I know she's on the ground doing some research. Can she find out she can get us on some lists and so we can hang with Shirkerri and you know, let's see
what happens. Oh, and I also wonder we'll doing this podcast. I'm just gonna bring up a universe in again. Can we get tickets to that when it opens? Like, because we do this podcast, we have NBC universal ties. I'm really interested in that. Now we talked about theme park attractions. I can't get off of it.
That's the only note we have as professional urban planners and experiential designers for the Olympic Villages, there should be one impeccable engineered roller coaster.
Well really, what you need to have is you need one eat ticket, which is like a big, massive indoor ride that can hold a lot of people. You need a couple of flat rides, which are you, you know, for the for the kids and for the girls. Yep. And then you need a big show. You need one big show.
Well, the big show is the games, like a live show, like Olympics, the musical, Oh interesting, go off.
They should reach out to Sutton Foster. She says yes to everything.
Anyway, Let's take a break and then when we come back, we will give out our medals for our top three stories.
Yes, we're back.
Now, let's do bronze, silver and gold. This is a tough We've got a lot of facts and figures, but we got to pick three.
I think you know what. For me, the bronze metal has to go to the variety of services in the village plaza. I can't get over like how chic it sounds to be able to go to the hair salon the bank of the coffee bar, at the grocery store. Like I could spend a whole afternoon in the village running EAGs in hand, bags in hand with things, baguettes in hand, like chomping down and you could just have a shopping day.
Here's what I'm doing. I'm hooking two fingers over my shoulder. Pretend there's hangars of dry cleaning behind me. That is the most running Errand's look I could possibly want.
Yes, and just basically so again Pittri, I have the bag behind me and I have two fingers up like this because I'm trying to wave down a car because I can't. I don't want to carry this too much more ready, Oh hi, hi and the sea getting in Techsi, my French TSI what wins the silver medal?
Bo silver for me is gonna be? I really think they nailed it on the beds, not just for you know, like the weight capacity. I think how sustainable they are. Yes, five hundred and fifty one pounds is specific. You know they want it. They were like five fifty sounds to faith. Let's actually give them a random ass number, five fifty one, and I believe it to be true. Like they they did a weight test, they did a stress test on these mattresses in these bedframes, and I'm gagged. I love that.
So that's my silver.
Yeah, that's the silver, And I think so can I just give an honorable palladium to pladium metal goes to the three hundred thousand condoms because I'm conflicted about it, because I do think that their commitment to safe sex is admirable, but the gold medal, I would have to say, bo, I think that one of the most interesting exciting things is the site specific like element here they put a bakery in and they can teach athletes how to make their own.
You love the bag bag gets.
I just think that's really cute, and I think ultimately what's great about this is the bakery. When they're teaching the workshops, that's how you get people off the road, and that's how you help foot traffic, you know what I mean, Like, I'm still interested in how we help this city.
Run because you know Parisians, the locals are like they're excited, but you know some of them have to be in the cafes in the Patisseri saying, oh la la, the Olympics are really gonna mess up our lifestyle. Oh laala?
Is that what they are? Like? Like, if I wanted to Paris, I was like, oh la la, they'd be like he's one.
Of us, la la Click.
I don't know what I just said, so that that would be the note We end our episode on.
Watch every moment of the twenty twenty four Paris Olympics beginning July twenty sixth on NBC and Peacock, and for the first time, you can stream the twenty twenty four Paris games on the iHeartRadio app and listen to two Guys, five Rings on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts.