Why You Should Never Give Someone A Soggy Doggy

My paranoia is now over.

So yeah, it sounds lovely, sounds great. Is that charging?

Yeah, I'm going to leave that in the things, a little travel charge. You never know, we could be out on the road sucking dick for money and we need to charge your phones.

Very likely, very likely, things are going. Yeah, what heart rate do you think you get up to? Sucking dick?

One hundred and eighty.

Welcome back to two Doating Dads. I can't even remember the opening.

That's what she said.

I'm Maddie Jay and I'm Ash.

This is a podcast that's all about parenting. It's the good, the.

Bad, and the relatable.

And if you have come winning any type of advice, I have to tell you that unfortunately we are not the podcast for you.

Another year full of zero advice.

It does feel I don't know what to do with my hands. Were running on a treadmill and you're like, what do I.

Do in my hands?

Up?

Put in my pockets?

I was like before I was like banging away on the desk and I was like, should hate that. I've better stopped doing that.

But here we are.

It's just it's weird to spend just more time with you. We had a nice little break.

Well, you did ignore me for two weeks.

I knew you were going to because it's you wanted to switch off and over had enough of him. No, I didn't. You didn't message me.

I did.

I didn't. I missed it, mate, I missed Somebody put me on mute in the text.

It's okay.

We caught up once we did.

We went to the cricket. Yes, and that was lovely. That was a beautiful. It was a really nice day. Although I'll be honest, I'm going to say it. I'm not afraid to say it. I missed you.

Yes, I missed you too.

Thank you.

Okay, now that's over.

Let's move on to more important news. Matthew and we do have an announcement. Just kick this year off with the I don't know if that to make the cut, but kick it off the.

One listening right now on the treadmill at the gym. What the flipping off the treadmill ash belting through their earbuds.

Sorry about that. I did move out of the way a little bit.

So Yeah, we do have an exciting announcement to make. We have a very close friend of the pod who is going to be joining us for a long time. I hope this is going to be the start of something very beautiful. We are, of course, talking about a new partner of the podcast, and this, to me is a dream partnership.

It's a tasty one, is crispy, it is.

Beautiful, and I couldn't be more excited to say that we are now in the company of Stone and Wood.

Yes, Stone and Wood. Cheers, Cheers to the new partner of the show.

Cheers to ask, cheers the Stone Wood.

Oh yeah, So we are drinking the Pacific Hour, which is the flagship in the portfolio. They have a number of other lovely drops. Matthew, I don't know if you've got a chance to try their lagers, which is easy drinking, of course.

No, I've just been sitting on the Pacific Ale.

They've also got a Cloudy Paler which is delicious, along with the Hazy Power, which I'm also a big fan of, and they do other clouds. I believe they've got one infused with mango that's about to come out as well. So they do have something for every taste bud, every occasion, every occasion and every taste bud.

But ash the most exciting part about this partnership is what we get to offer you guys, the listeners, because absolute would be very rude of us Ash to sit here enjoy a beverage and not offer it out to those people who are listening.

I'm listening. I'm all over there.

So I thought we would do a competition, and it's for a year's worth of beer.

Shut up.

So how that's going to work is it's a case a month, okay of any beer that you want from the Red portfolio. Could be the Hazy, it could be.

The options are endless.

Could be the larger, could be the pacific Ale. And the way that this is going to work is that we're going to have a post on two doting dads. All you have to do is be following us, following Stone and Wood, comment who you would like.

To share a beer with, and we will pick someone. And we're going to pick someone. Oh amazing.

So that's twelve months.

Twelve cases.

So all year you're going to get twelve cases of Stone and Wood and think of the savings.

It's going to get delivered directly to your door. Oh maybe by me and Ash. We're not sure. It depends where you let me. It depends if you committed to that, tesus apply.

There will be teas.

And teas of course, and you have to be over eighteen to enter, of course enter.

Yes, absolutely, I doubt there's anyone under the age of eighteen listening to the podcast.

Are you doing?

Sorry about that?

But yeah, once she used to that Stone and Wood beautiful.

Thank you guys, thank you Stone and Wood.

Did you go away?

No? Stay? I stayed put, stay put. Had a lot of.

Family come to me, which I hated. Sorry, mum, no, no, no, yeah, I had like family came to Sydney.

We spent a lot. We did spend a lot of time with family.

We didn't necessarily go anywhere but Christmas with families, Christmas Day, Christmas Day a combination between my grandmother's and my father in law's house. So morning at my NaN's. Yep, I gave her a calendar. She's very early about that. Then spoon collection, nan, oh, spoon collection. N that's the tip of the iceberg, my friend, Oh my god, you should see how many spoons this week?

And she always collected spoons.

Yeah, she loves it. And we used to always get her a spoon anywhere we went somewhere. Her house is also a shrine to Elvis.

Elvis and spoons, so she loves it. What does she like about a spoon? Is it just is that like a what's not to.

Like about a spoon?

Well said?

I don't know.

I've never asked, but there's always an ongoing joke about it.

When she dies, who gets the spoons?

Do you know where you're at in the will?

Are you what.

Percentage you're getting?

Hopefully zero? I don't want those spoons.

No, they're beautiful.

I want the ones back Eye gave her. But oh, my grandmother, she's eighty seven. She just turned eighty seven on the Wilks hand. By the way, stop trying to get with my grandmother. Eighty seven on Sunday, just got so Happy birthday to Nan. Big fan of the show, big fan of the calendar. Is her name again, Olive Olive Ah? Yes, beautiful names like Olive Oil. Big fan of the show loves the calendar very much. The Seniors

Does she understand what a pod?

I don't want to know.

I don't want to that's no idea, no idea, Like she just thinks it's radio and then every now and then I'm on the TV. She's like confused anyway. But she's very switched on. But she also is from a different generation. And as we know generations that have gone past, things have changed. Things you can say, have changed, and we all know that. You know, back then there was a different there's different terms for things, all sorts of things.

I'm not going to be crassy, but also when you get to I think once you're over the age of seventy, you just don't give a shit anymore. That too, and you just like whatever comes into your mind. You say, Yeah, was she offensive to you? Was she offensive to me?

She wasn't offensive. She was confused.

So my parents came down.

They stayed at the caravan park near my place, and they've got this big water park in the caravan with park, which is great. Any caravan parks want to sponsor the show, please get in touch with you. So I took Oscar down there, and my sister took my niece down there. Nan was staying with them for the day. It's a cool little family out into so the kids can have

What say why?

Nan said, oh, gee, you look sexy in those swimmers? Yeah, olive, four year old. It's a four year old. And we're like, Nan, you can't say that. And then she was like why not? Why can't I say that? Because it's I don't know, against the law. Also, just in.

New name added to Epstein Island Olive.

How did he respond? Did what Oscar say?

Was he like he didn't know.

We were like, you can't say that, so red hot, I'm like, Nan, you're going to get in trouble, We're gonna get locked up.

You can't say that sort of stuff.

Did she respond in an understanding way?

Well, she like, shut up, I can say what I wanted. No, she was she was like, oh, wasn't sure, but let's hope it doesn't come out of her mouth again.

Because it was also very awkward.

She's at the park.

Can little girl a sexy kid? That as looks great. We're about to get in trouble just from saying that. So let's move on from that.

Any senior citizens, we love you listening in. Yeah, cute, cute, beautiful.

Cute, beautiful, handsome of it's a boy lovely. Oh yeah, I think that's appropriate. Sexy, hot, not so dts spicy, none of that, please, no, not for the kids, Not for the kids. DTF if you if that, if that kind of vocabular wow into your mind, just know it's wrong.

How was your Christmas?

Well, I know what we joked about it last year, the fact that I was morphing into you. You know, you may you may know now you'll see this video on socials. I don't have a mustache.

You don't.

Pre Christmas, I had the mustache, had it right up until glorious last week or January. I started wearing hats, got tattoos. People were saying that my laugh was similar to yours, ash that we would both throw the head back and cackle. And another thing happened that made me realize that I'm actually really morphing into you.

This is why you shaved it off. You're just.

I got to break the cycle.

What happened to you?

Gott to hammer it.

I found myself hating Christmas.

Oh, welcome to the club, my friend. Yeah, sorry Santa.

Yeah. I was always one to be very positive.

You know.

I think I recall saying that it was the best time of the year.

It's the happiest and best time for you.

Shut the fuck up?

Do you know?

It's not for those people that are hosting Christmas at their house and then in addition to that also looking after the food as well. That double responsibility sucks.

So no one had to bring anything. No, well people do anyway.

Issue is I don't think bring things that don't go. I don't want to put this on my brothers, no do it, but I will. They don't listen to the show.

So Mum listens and she'll tell them.

She'll keep that under wrap. So I'll say, has anyone listened to Matt's recent episode? And she goes, yeaheah, was just.

They didn't say anything bad about you at all, but praise for you.

Boys, And I'm like, they fucking suck. Issue is they come down. My brothers, three of them are in Queensland. They come down to Sydney and so you know, they don't have access to a car to drive to the shops to pick up ingredients, that don't have a kitchen, and you know they're staying in a little apartment so they can't.

You know.

I'm just like, don't worry.

Just bring her a halfway house eventually.

Yeah, just bring a good attitude, maybe a present for the kids and some alcohol and that's all I need. And so Laura and I don't call my kids sexy. It was very stressful ash And also we won that RSL competition.

The ham.

We won the hand and the pork.

Oh god, we want too. Yeah, and the pork was this big hunk of like it was a massive hunk and I didn't need it.

Didn't need it.

We had the seafood, we had the ham. But then Laura was like, hey, I'll do a roast loin of pork beautiful, which we've never done before. You know, said like Laura's researching the morning off. We then had the pork in the oven like basting it and trying to look you know, it's actually we had to salt it to get the crackling. It's just very stressful. And then like everyone's here having that responsibility. I was like, I just can't wait for everyone to leave.

Oh yeah, get the hell out of my asse.

Yeah, like, don't overstay, you welcome, don't get in my fucking way and shut the fuck up. Yeah. So I was You're meant to be festive, but the thing is the pressure of being festive makes you grouchy.

Absolute absolutely. And then we didn't go anywhere for the Christmas break. We stayed here, and I think the most enjoyable time for me was like after New.

Year's whenever one left.

The beginning literally was the beginning of Yeah, the year when yeah, like no presence, You're not having to like cater to all the family. And I was like, oh my god. I looked in the mirror one morning and I looked at myself and I'm like, I am Ash Wicks. Oh oh my god.

Not only do I look like him, I'm like him feel like him.

Yeah, I was. I was a bit of a Christmas grouch.

So you've gone for a full restart of your life. Yeah, you'rekno going to mop into me. I'm resetting. You can't stop, You can't stop what's already started though, what about Okay, like back on Christmas really quickly, did your kids get any presents that you thought, why the fuck would make someone buy this for my kid?

No, most of the toys were pretty good. Laura put on a pretty good spread with.

The girls toy wise.

They got in the last minute effort like that.

You know, even you know how it is when we got all the toys sorted. We go into the last few days leading up to Christmas with the pressure taking off our shoulders about worrying about gifts, and then Marley would be like, actually, you know what I want. I want a Gabby dollhouse doll and we're like shit, and then Laura would run back to Kmart and get that sorted.

No, I can't find any of the toys that we got.

Oh yeah, they're like, I know, like I got oscar, a remote control car like a hobby.

It's not a hobby grade one, but it's like close.

It's like eight year old to class, and I was like, okay, what's the worst going to happen?

Straight away? Crashed it, broke it, threw it out straight away.

That's just Christmas. But also like aunties and uncles and grandparents, they always seem to give like a present and then a little chocolate with it, and they're more interested in the little chocolate. Yeah. I found myself just been going, no, look at the big picture here, look what you've been giving.

They're like, oh that. It's like, oh my gosh, come on man.

The only gift that was a bit of a fail was it was from Laura, the gift of love. Oh hello, soggy doggie.

Soggy doggy. Soggy doggy sounds like a sex position. Looks have you ever tried this soggy doggie?

It looks fun, doesn't it. Look at him?

Look at him, soggy doggy there. Look how happy he looks. And the kids are having a.

Great time as well.

It's in French.

It's yeah, English and French. Apparently the French love a soggy doggie.

We all, I thought they'd like it more froggy style. Soggy Doggy Style.

Two million units sold around the world, so that you know what, So just keep in mind that's what soggy Doggy looks like.

One of the box.

I think.

Look, products that put their achievements on the box, we get it.

Don't be a wanker. Don't be a wanker.

This is soggy Doggie.

Hang on a second, get that box back up.

Look how big that is?

What's the deal with the box being so big?

And well do you fill the doggie up or something?

Do you pack it out?

This is that that soggy doggie?

Oh my god.

And keeping in mind, you know I had to build that.

It doesn't look like much, but I thought that that was the at home bathtub and that's a big soggy doggie.

That's like the way it works. You meant to roll the dice and then it's build as being the like gateway board game for kids. You know, you don't want to go straight into Monopoly. You want to go with Soggy Doggy first, and then from there you build into other games. It's really easy, it's fun. And you meant to roll the dice and then you push the handles and there's a like a tap thing that's missing, but with every roll of the dice, it squirts some water and then.

You don't know what it's going to happen.

Soggy Doggie starts to shake it and that's it.

Yeah, well, soggy Doggy, you're a disappointment.

The kids. We played it and the kids were like, is that it?

Yeah?

That sucks, and I was like, Laura.

But then you get to wash the real dog. So that was the only one which didn't really hit the mark.

Do you want to.

Fucking know it?

For the box?

I hate them everything about that marketing on that box. Hate it. Look at it anyway, good one.

Well you got snakes and ladders for Oscar meltdown because he just wanted to be on the snakes all the time because they're cooler anyway. But in terms of shit gifts, miss, look what I'm gonna talk about now is it's not a shit gift.

It's I kind of feel like my mother in law hates me.

I'm sure she does.

I'm sure she does.

Can you blame her?

No?

What she has gotten my kids is I don't know if you saw on my Instagram, it's a double microphone carry yoka machine that's wireless, yeah, that you charge and can take anywhere. Why would you get me that? Why would you get my kids that? I was like, yay, why.

I've made the mistake of buying that for Maley for a birthday because I was like, she loves concerts, it would be great fun. The fun for us last for about three minutes, and then you just got a kid with a microph it yeah, just going.

Yeah, yeah, I'm pretty sure. There was one moment that was really cute and I thought, oh, okay, because you can turn it up and down. But when you realize that volume does not affect Toddler's screaming into things. It's just the same volume all the time. Oscar was like, I'm still standing you did he hear Mazie.

Like in the corner go ah?

And I was like, that's pretty cute. But then I think I went out to help clean up Christmas lunch, walk back inside and all I hear is.

Going oh bye bye bye bah bah bah but.

The top of his luck And I'm like.

What is it about microphones that just removes the ability for kids to make any words?

Like they just vocabulary on the kid is outstanding. Do you put a microphone in front of the hes I'm like, oh my god, what the fuck? So I've hidden it, You've got it, and I've got a plan. I've got a plan to sneak it into my mother in law's house so when the kids go, so if she's listening, which she mon't be, would she listens to this, I'm going to sneak it in, and then before I drop the kids off there for like a little play.

I'm going to be like, do you know she's.

Got the speaker.

She got the speaker and it's charged, and it's sitting there waiting for you to annoy the fuck out of her with it.

And here's the line of cocaine. Lock the door.

So your problem now?

Oh absolutely.

So that was really the shittest thing we got other than the remote control card, which was Oscar just destroyed it immediately.

Question for you, what happened with your daycare? Were they back? They are back open now because.

She goes to two Yeah, well here's one because it's a preschool closed, but he goes to the other one.

They were open the whole time.

When did you send him back in a daycare? I think the week they both went one day in the middle of the Christmas Yeah, break because we just had enough of them.

Parenting is painful, dude.

You need a break as well. Also after Christmas, that is such a.

It's really good to get the house in order.

AKA spoken on the couch, spoken like in his middle age, and it was just nice and we got someway.

It was nice to get the house back in working order, like a finally tuned machine. They walk back in and tornado the fuck out of it.

I did feel a bit guilty on the twenty seventh where Maley and Lola, who've just had like an amazing couple of days nothing but presents. Also in the lead up to Christmas, we had some friends drop in and say, oh, here's a gift for Marley and Lola and they and the friends were like, let the moment it now, because they want to see the reaction of the gifts.

They're just getting weeks worth like his presence.

They come up the back of that and they wake up on the twenty seventh and they come down the stairs.

And you burnt the Christmas tree down literally.

And then you're like.

Take that, and they're like, what presents have we got? Today and I'm like, you're going.

To dayre yeah, reality check.

They were so confused and it was like a half day, like a ten thirty to three o'clock.

It's just like a six am to six pm situation. And there was like four kids there was.

I didn't feel bad at all. I should have. I should have felt horrible. And I was like, none of my friends are here, am I.

I'm like, but you're here and you're your own friend. Bye out the door.

I felt really guilty, felt really good, I know, but it was. It was so nice. So the first time in forever where Laura and I like went to the beach by ourselves and we're like.

You need a break too, and like a message to the parents out there, give yourself a break. I always say that and then get it right back to it.

Well then after that, after that ordeal, we then had another ordeal to deal.

With or deal to deal with.

Yes, laid on me very tongue twisty yeah sentence. We had decided more so Laura. I don't want to throw Laura under the busket because she's very proactive with these types of decisions, which is a great thing. So she just makes them without you, well she did. I think she tells you she had to be fair. She had flagged it with me, and I was kind of like, yeah, whatever.

Do recall it was hell. It was hell then and that was weeks ago.

She came good for a couple of days.

When all the presents were getting dished out.

Yeah, that was distracting it. And then at the same time, Laura said, I'd like to have Marley and Lola in the same room and all the time or yeah, like permanently, so that share rooms. Upstairs, we're going to have a room free and now Marley and Lola to be the free room are going to be well just in case, like you know, Laura's mum comes from Willongong and she's got somewhere to stay.

Yeah, well that's what I said.

Yeah, very kinds soggy doggy.

Soggy doggie be a pillow.

So we decided we put the cot in with the single bed with Marley. They're now sharing a room and up until this point our kids are sleeping pretty well. But from this point on, once the dummies have been removed, it is brutal.

It has been.

The nightly routine is like, we'll have dinner at six o'clock.

She just not said it, like what's what will you explain to me?

What?

So?

What does that look like?

So just for so long, her whole entire life to soothe dummy, dummy that's been taken away. She now has no idea, like she's.

Just what to do with the s Yeah, she's just like running on the treadmill all over again.

Las She's like, what do these things do? So the nighttime routine is we'll have dinner at six o'clock, op in the bar, six thirty seven o'clock, we'll read a book, we'll go to bed, and then Laula will scream for probably like an hour and a half.

In the same room as Marley.

Yeah, oh yeah, just we'll like we'll flip out, and she then will say just everything possible to delay going to bed. So she's like, I need to go to toilet again. I want another book, I want a different blanket, I want a different toy. And we tried to give her like a comfort toy that hasn't worked. She's now keeping Mali awake, so all's like, hey.

Going not to move her out of the room.

Well, I think we're now.

I think we're going to put Lola back into the room, which kind of sucks because I have to take the cock apart and build it again.

Doesn't pit it the door?

Bro sucked in, thank you, So it's I sport for me. Bro, I just like sucked in.

I don't want to. I wouldn't want to do that.

Also, once we finally get her asleep, she'll wake up at about twelve thirty screaming NonStop, looking for comfort. Doesn't have anything to comfort her, so she's just like screaming until she kind of gets herself tired and goes back to sleep. And then in addition to that, she's waking up at five am screaming again and then can't get back to sleep.

Just regressed.

Shit, it hard out ship that top word. That word regress puts fear.

Oh yeah, and any parent listening that's got little kids the word regress, they're just like spine tingling.

They're like regress.

Else when you think you've grown out of regression, it's like they're regressing. That's great, well, Oscar and Macie they share, but your kids don't fucking like the dummy. They never did, no, no, but they do have their comfort things that they need and have to have every now, Like Oscar's got this. Have you not seen depleted Elmo?

Yeah?

Mate, the guy looks like he's got an eating disorder. What's yeah, just they're like, sometimes you just got to have a certain book in the bed or whatever, and that's fine. But they honestly like hasn't been an issue for us. That room they're in quite big. But they also like when they go to bed at the same time together, which is every night. Now you can hear them chatting like in their own little way, which is really cute.

And then every now and then you hear like a like a one of them laugh or something like that.

You're like, yeah, okay, for a certain amount of time, it's fine, and then they just conk out.

I don't know what the deal is.

But every now and then we'll have a night where it's like someone's got to come in with us, mainly Oscar because it makes it be a pain of the ass because she doesn't listen to anybody. She just does her anything, But she's still in a cop so that kind of still works. You can't get out. But I've got no advice for you because they didn't have the issue with the dummy.

Well, someone someone said, because I posted that video on Instagram and people are like, oh, no, you need to put vinegar on the dummy.

So they hate it.

So they hate it. Or you need to snip the dummy sort of the suction. Yeah, which if we did that, she'd just be like, what the fuck is this she giving me? Yeah, you give me a broken dummy, get me another one, because I know there's twenty four in the house somewhere.

Yeah, so then she's got a list of wishes of hidden them.

I said to someone, I'm like, I'm never going to surrender, like we're going to perseverere.

That's good, you got to go. That's the right way, it's the right.

But it's it's short term pain, long term gain.

It's easy for you to fucking say that because I have surrendered.

Ash, Oh, you've given up.

I gave it back the dummy.

You did not when last night last night and she slept right through Ah, yeah, she got this.

This is what she was doing, right, she was like, and I went, do you want this? And she went, what's that?

Yes? Please?

Thank you literally love you.

YEA dude stopped in her tracks and she went cheers in the fell asleep. Within two minutes she was gone. She slept into six thirty this morning and I'm like, and then daycare as well were like, how is she going without the dummy? You know you've done the right thing here, and I'm like, oh, yeah, she's going.

Great, really good.

Does she do the same at the midday nap?

Well, they've kind of she's out of the midday nap. She's kind of like lost.

It's not midday napping at all.

Yeah, but which maybe because she didn't have the dummy. So now the fear is that she's going to start asking daycare for the dummy, who thinks that I've taken it away.

From her And that's their problem though, isn't it. I hope anyway, screams herself asleep there gets here for straighter.

Some people have said to me they'll give it up when they're ready.

Well, that's also a good way to look at it.

I mean, it's kind of like you would hate if someone took something that you relied on vagina.

Very different.

If that was taken away from me, I don't know you had one.

Anyway.

Anyway, Ah, great news. What's that.

We have a new segment.

Oh yeah we do.

Yeah, we do have a new segment. We're just trialing it. See how it goes.

No no, no, no, no no no no no.

I love it. How you play it?

You play it like it's no big deal. But we've you've got an intro song for this segment, which means it's here for at least two months.

Okay.

Once it's a song, it's locked in.

Yes, we're calling it Tantrums of the Week.

Yes, so we ran it last year.

Yeah, we did it last week last year.

So you send if you do have a ridiculous tantrum that your kid has thrown, we want to hear about it.

The more ridiculous the better, Like we had last year.

I think someone their kid went mental because they couldn't put the hood of their jumper on.

But they actually didn't have a hood on the jumper, and.

The parent had to take a photo and go, look, you don't have a hood on this jumper. That was really really funny. So the more ridiculous you can d m us or you can send us. Look, there's no prizes this time unless someone picks this segment up, which if you're listening, who can we get I don't know, we'll see. But anyway, let's go into the new intro song.

Let's go.

Right, man, I've got one for you really quick.

Please, Actually, before you do that, can I just tell you about a little tantrum that we had this morning. Also off the back of Lola just hating life of no dummy. This morning, I put her in the car Laura was taking her to daycare, and she was like, I want mom to close the car door. Laura's already in the driver's seat, engine's on, ready to go.

Oh my god.

I'm like, well, I'm going to close the door, and she's like, I want mom to do it. No, I'm closing the door. And she was like, oh, said I want to shut the door. And Laura said, you called me after she did drop off and said Lola screamed for fifteen minutes over the whole draft, over the fact that I shut the car door, not Laura.

That's painful. That's the sort of stuff I want to hear. That's all we want to hear. Yeah, that's great. So you're I'm going to go into one that was sent to us already.

This one says my.

Son threw a tantrum because I wouldn't give him the cheese from someone else's trolley. Yeah, that's what I want, quick, easy and idiotic reason why the audacity.

I've got one here, Ash, and it says I changed my toddlers nappy and he replied, no, poo gone, poo gone. He then proceeded to have a meltdown for twenty minutes because the poo was gone.

Who was gone? Well? I think I know the answer to that one. Leave him in the shitty nappy, Sit in that big boy. Oh great, stop twenty minutes.

Minutes, meltdown, meltdown, solid effort.

If you have one, please send us a DM had two dotting dads on the GRAM. On the Gram yep, or you can do on a two DD at outlook dot com dot a you. Hey, let's finish up with a couple of questions.

Yes, yes, would you like me to go first?

Sure? Laid on me a big man, Ash.

This one is from Jordan.

Hey, Jordan, he has messaged in and he's got two kids. Lucky Jordan, but he's struggling a little bit.

Oh that's sad.

He wants to know. Do you have any advice for maintaining your sanity for someone who has two kids kids are two weeks old, wells two year old fresh, whilst also trying to manage the household as well. No, no, no, yeah, the answer is no, that's I don't know.

Look, it's a tough time.

Two weeks is young, so you are essentially you've got to wrangle the kids. You've got to manage, keep the house clean, keep your wife happy, because you'd be fucking tired.

You're also probably tired.

I would say if it's a hard you can somehow try and in between giving your wife's you know, the rest that she needs, find some rest herself.

Do you know what I find the most helpful, Jordan, If you're not wanking right.

Now, wank more a hand, goes straight to the.

Bathroom, and I guarantee it'll make you feel just a little bit better.

Yeah, you come up with a smile on your face.

But that is the hardest time, and also depends on how your kids are going. Like if you've got a two year old that's struggling with a new sibling in addition to a two week old that might not be an easy newborn.

It's a shit show. It is a just yeah, oh.

My god, the thought of having a third and going back to a newborn that's tricky. Like I have flashbacks to Lola, who was a tricky baby, and I'm like, I just couldn't do it. You've just got to dig deep and know that it will get better.

Yeah, that's I think that's pretty solid.

But also jerk off on and communicate with your partner.

Yes, I always say this right close to tell me grumpy is because you're tired, right, And I've said it before.

On this podcast.

Two half rested people, yep, okay, doesn't make one full rested person, doesn't.

There he is there, he is.

So like I said, let your wife rest and then try and find some rest yourself so that you can get back on that level, get rid of the grumpies.

Ash wisdom Wicks. That's what I call you.

The Wizard.

That's what they call me this year, the Wizard. All right, man, I've got a question for you. This one is from Elliott. He says, afternoon, boys, I hope you're both well, not bad, not bad.

I'm a little bit tired now.

Absolutely love the pod started listening from the beginning as my partner was four to five months pregnant.

Our little girl was born two weeks ago. Another fresh one.

Oh god, we got all the freshies.

Just wondering, did either of you find in the first few weeks they were more interested in mum rather than you?

Or does my kid just hate me? Eh?

Dude, get ready for a life of hate.

You're a blob, man.

I always say for the you could be any old blob and they're like, unless you're going to start.

Breastfeeding, bro, you are not important to that child.

Yeah, does not care about you at all, I will say.

Though, but they don't have the brain capacity to hate at that age.

No, No, they just want the essentials, i e.

The boobs, just like we all want.

Yeah, sorry, Elliott, I find the choice between you and my wife's boobs. Sorry, it's hard because you, I think when you have Whenmalley was born, it was just like, you know, we were both just like gushing over this newborn and then Lola came about, and whilst Lola didn't want a piece of me, it's nice to have those like a bit of bro, time with your firstborn child, Like, I think that's such a crucial time to really like

Your prize possession.

Well, I didn't even take the dummies off, Lola.

It was it was you're blamed, Bro.

She's put the Laura's in her ear being, Like I tried to give the dummies.

Bunch, but Dad said no, He's in charge on me.

That's why she hates me. But for whatever reason, Lola cannot stand this side of me once we're in the house, like, hates it when I try and put her in the bath, hates it when I try and brush her teeth.

Just hates everything about it.

I can't even read her a book. If I try and give her a kiss good night, she will palm me in the face and be like, what are you doing? Only mum can do that?

Oh my god. Well there you have it, Elliott, your kid hates you.

It happens to everyone.

It comes and goes, though, because there was times where you know, like Oscar and I butt head's like the best of them, Like, for God's sake, drives me crazy. But then like we go through spells where we're like, you know, we love each other so much and it's it's obvious, but like, yeah, you go through phases and you know that's really early on.

Don't stand over that kid and go why do you hate me? Because that's what you feel like doing?

Well something like, dude, this morning, I was trying to get Laula ready and she's like, oh, mom, to do it. And I was like, well, yeah, like you know, fine, fuck it. Yeah, that kind of attitude, I understand, that's what I had. And I'm like, I don't know if I like, I don't know what approach.

I don't know what my place is in this house anymore. It's sucks.

Sometimes it's nice, except like in the middle of the night I mentioned that Lula was waking up at you know, three in the morning screaming, and if I step foot in that room, she's like, not.

You, You're all right, I'm back to here, Laura, you're up. Except now that's starting to wear pretty thin. Yeah on on Laura.

At the start, I was like, this is great. I get to sleep the whole night. No. No, Now I'm like, I I wish I could do anything help.

Yeah.

Yeah, and she hates you, dude, wait for the teenagers. Bro going to hate you as well, hate you, then hate you, now hate your two weeks Marley still loves me. Yeah for now, So Elliott, just go easy on yourself. Mate, Maybe come back to us in at the end of this year and just let us know how it's going.

We will.

But also congrats on the Jordan and Elliott.

Yes, a couple of newbies for the year or last back into last year. Christmas babies, their birthday is going to get mixed up with Christmas every year.

That'll be fine for you.

Oh yeah, that's sucked in.

We sucked in?

Ain't on that note?

That's all we have time?

We should get out of here. Should If you have enjoyed this episode, hey, why don't you just maybe send it to a friend, to someone out.

There, a colleague.

A colleague, Yeah, anyone who comes to your house as a visitor would be like, thanks for coming. By the way, listen to forty four, season two of Two Doting.

Dads, Episode one of season two. Not to confuse people, Matthew, but also.

Hey, what are we going to do for fifty to celebrate Porgie? I thought you never asked.

All right, well and that not also.

Also, if you would be so kind to give us a review? Yes, a few words. A couple of stars all we ask for makes Ash nigh very happy.

A couple of who started to beg already week one.

That's not begging, that's asking.

If you're on your knees, Matt.

People drive through Bondai and I have a sign saying please give me stars, and I'm on my knees, that's begging. And until then I'm just asking politely.

Okay, sure it gets more desperate throughout it. I need this about Naddy.

Jay anyways, get out here right so you guys. Bade two. Doting Dad's podcast acknowledges the traditional custodians of country throughout Australia and the connections to land, sea and community.

We pay our respects to their elders past and present and extend that respect to all Abriae, Reginal and Torrestrate Islander peoples today.

This episode was recorded on Gadigle Land