Two Doting Dads and a Mum feat. Ellie Johnson (Matt's Mum)

You fold or scrunch.

I do that when you wrap it around your hand like that, and it's like, yeah, let me call that.

Now that's a fold.

I'd say it's a I think it. Do you think I do? Young?

Do you sit or do you stand?

I stand?

Yeah? Right, you I stand stand.

It said, you're not.

You've got the credits. You stand. You've got an open.

Welcome back to two doting dads and one mom slash Nana.

Yeah my name?

You know you's that? I say?

I'm Maddy Jay your third?

Yeah, your third?

Yeah, I should know my place.

I I'm Matty Jo.

You've got to tell me that you've got to give me more direction.

I actually did.

I did. I clearly remember saying that Ash will introduce himself and then you will talk.

This is going to go swimming.

I am Mattie J.

Now you go, and I am Ellie and I am matt.

Just just a name. No, sorry, continue continue?

That was it? I think was it? That's good.

I think that was really good.

Would you like me to do it again?

No? That's why there's two bigger. This is a podcast all about the good, the bad, and the relatable of parenting and of course today we have Matt's mum here to get to the bottom of why and how Matt is why he is like that he is.

Can I just say, Mum, if at any point you feel uncomfortable around Ash, please let me know.

What about me? What if I feel uncomfortable?

I've just since if you were right just being very uncomfortable around the two of you.

Well, do you want to start calling me dad now or at the end of the podcast.

It's great to have mom here. This episode is going to be a little bit different because normally we have guests on a bonus episode. However, however, right now when this comes out, Ash.

Will be balls deep in some bintang in Bali.

He is on holiday. So we have pre recorded this episode with my mother. So it's not going to be a normal episode in that we don't have the lies, we don't have ordinary parenting as a segment. It's just going to be with my mother dearest.

Yes, And even though we don't have those segments, we do have some other juicy things about to ask about foreskins.

So a few people had suggested we get our parents on here, and it just so happened that Laura is well a time of recording. Laura is away in Bali and at the same time, by pure coincidence, my sister was moving house, so Mum was coming down. It's worked out perfectly. So I've hijacked my mum, roped her into being in my house so I can get some help with the kids, and we.

Thought chuck her on the pod.

So mom should be packing boxes at my.

Sister's out instead, she's here talking with us.

So we're doing your favor, thanks, Matte.

Plenty of time to pack boxes.

Yeah, this is actually gonna be a busy day for you. You're going to have a podcasts in the morning, packing boxes in the afternoon, and then you're also doing daycare pickup as well. And if we could have dinner ready by six, I'd love that. Maybe roast chicken.

So for those of you, Matt's mum had five kids. All right, Matt, you're.

The middle I am the middle child.

Would you say Matt's your favorite?

Not going to get me out on that one. Now, I love all my children equally.

Yeah, that's what I say too. However, however, and being the middle child, you've got how many sisters, Matt one sister.

So it is just the one I think I don't even know how old they are because in my eyes they're still like eighteen. But Tom is the youngest. Well, actually you sorry you introduced the kids.

Yes, I have five.

I can't remember.

Name is middle names dated.

Bird, Tom is twenty eight, the twenty eight, David is thirty one, and you are thirty thirty six.

Nearly forty thirty, thirty.

Three, thirty seven, and Adam is thirty nine.

Wow. Like so there's like I had ten year gap between the first Yeah. Yeah, And out of all five of them, where was Matt ranked in terms of being an easy child or being a problem child?

No, I wouldn't say it was a problem. In fact, I was. I suppose looking back, I was quite fortunate that the four boys well relatively easy. I didn't have big problems. I had big problems with Kate, and at a certain age of fifteen, she wanted to do all the things that you don't want a fifteen year old going to the valley, going to this.

For those of you who don't know, the valley in Brisbane is it's where all the clubs are. So what you're trying to say is Kate was the problem.

I do think I mean, I know you're generalizing, but I do think that girls mature quicker, and they just think they can do these things earlier. You guys, the four of you didn't want to do anything too early. When you got to eighteen, that's when you partied more and went out more.

You know of it.

What was I like as a primary school child versus a teenager and then young adults?

Primary school, you were really into sport, an athlete, but that was a good outlet. You know, you just loved long distance running.

USh is very aware of that, so that was that was good.

You loved cricket, so you were pretty passionate about sport.

Was he naudy at school like at that age?

Now he wasn't anaudy at school? He did at home the mandatory punching his sister in the face to her noseblood, You do things like that.

It was one time.

Sure it was.

Sibling rivalry in my family was alive and well, and it was usually the older one on the next one the rivalry. And I used to say to people, somebody is always fighting with somebody else. It really was, And that was I think. You go into parenthood and you think you're going to have a little house on the prairie, and it wasn't for a while, and that was hard.

We were stoned.

But I remember listening at the door, thinking, oh my god, they're talking, they're discussing, they're laughing, they're enjoying each other's company. And that was actually your watershed moment that you'd gone past this young rivalry and attacking each other and you were getting on as young adults, and that was a real joy.

Did you always think you're going to have five? Was that the plan when you were growing up? Did you think I'm going to have a big family? Yeah?

Really, yeah, for whatever reason, but I suppose coming from Wales, not having my family here, I sort of wanted my tribe. I think were.

There some days where you just like, why the fuck a I done this?

You know, honestly would never have gone that far to say I wish I hadn't done this. However, it was hard. The first three were three years and one month apart, so that was just hard.

Work.

I'd go on holiday and by the time I'd put some block on everybody and got the snacks together and go to the beach, someone needed a nap. It was hard to get every.

Logistics of it because we just had this really warm weekend and like I took, I was just on my home apriles away and two kids out of the beach and it's like an hour to get them.

Out of the door, to get them at the door, and then.

You're like trying to get them home from the beach and the it's just just I don't know how you did it with five. I mean, I suppose you just did your best and just to see if we make it or not.

What would you say was the hardest transition? Was it three to four?

Four to five?

The hardest was having three because there was three in three years and that was full on. But you realize how big families work because with the younger two, do you remember you were on duty. I would allocate a job to you to look after the little is. It would be two of you watching the younger two in the bath, getting them dressed, lying down, reading a story. And I realized big families work because often families maybe only have two and they're eighteen months apart, so they

So there were hands to help and I had.

A Tom roster on the fridge. Everybody, remember, everybody had a job to do to help Tom. And it was then that I thought, you know, all this is happening.

I'll just was like, I might have a six again.

Well if i'd had a husband maybe.

Now married, and what a shame I've had a sex to me, Look, I want to go back to I want to ask you a question about Matt's four skin. Okay, because this story came as a massive shock to me and everybody else.

I think like part of me is thinking, like, did I have I remembered it correctly? Yeah?

Yeah, So that's where I want to find out. So it was six. So for those who haven't heard this story, I go back to one of our previous episodes Early Day, where we talked about Matt was born and kept his foreskin until the age of six. But ee, if you don't mind just giving an overview of what that was like.

Decided not on the medical advice and everything was fine, and then Matt would just really wee all over the toilet.

Like an elephant's trunk, and it was.

Really, this is crazy. How can he missed that big hole? And I thought I'd better watch him we And then he went to the toilet and I'm not kidding this week came out at right angles to his penis and I looked at him and thought, what the hell is going on? So I didn't want to be too personal and manipulate his fore skin. No, I did try, thinking this hole is not in the right place, So went to the GP. He examined it and said, yeah, you got a lot of scar tissue over this portion and

Where was a scar tissue?

I didn't know he had a five skin?

No, yeah, there was just some extra skin that had gone five skin. Boy, So got to have the circumcision, but hadn't obviously a general and had it done. And I had this pamphlet of how to care for this penis and it was a learning curse.

Anyone right now, I would love to see the pamphlet and says how to care for this penis.

Do you remember any of the key steps that people should be aware of?

Well, I remember, oh, you had to take the outer bandage off, and then used to say line solution, and there in bold letters was on day five, completely remove the dressing.

I remember, I'm going to sharp pain in my penis.

Right now, and it said soaking the bath. So you soaked in the bath and you came out and I thought, oh.

It must have been like day fifteen. But there's a like rubbed off or something. Day five. It's quite I don't think, just come out of surgery. Mum was there, like, let's take off the bandage, and I was like, are you sure? Mom? She's like, that's what it says.

And I looked at that bandage and I thought, look stuck on.

I's currently grabbing hold of his penis.

It's really important that you take this off. And I just had to pick it and whip it off. And there's poor kid. I mean, you were doubled up and you run around the room holding your penis.

Can you feel that? I loved?

I still got mine?

Oh it was red raw, and I thought maybe I shouldn't have done that.

You've literally ripped it off like a band aid, but on the most sensitive part of the anatomy.

Memory beautiful, God, penis is beautiful, Thanks mom.

Something I would thought I heard out of Laura's mouth, not Matt's mom's mouth. Did you have an option then to do the full circuses or be like, hey, would they give you an option to like, if you want to keep a force skin, we can just take it.

Was just the only option was totally all or nothing. Imagine if they said it like with right angled.

We imagine if they said, either he goes through his life with the right angle, pee, or your chop the whole penis off. Oh, right angle, just go the right angle?

Yeah, be interesting, wouldn't it when you're actually when you're thinking about making love? Because normally that sperm would need to shoot straight up, but if it was going at right angled, it might get lost and not really nowhere.

I don't know.

About that, but anyway, I'm learning a lot of Matt's penis anatomy.

What was it like as a teenager. I feel like I had moments where I was very well behaved, and I feel like there were moments and I veered.

Of course, I don't think you'veered of expelled.

Expelled, expelled from school camp.

Well, let's be honest. Matt started a midnight boxing tournament.

He was on this camp fight club.

And he and his mate started this.

On school camp.

Where was school campout?

It was it.

Was like on the farms. You did five weeks.

I mean, let me go straight. You went on a school camp. Was it a boys school?

Co ed?

Coed? And you just decided to start a fight club.

Correct on the camp, but you would have like pillows, a pillow fight pillow gloves.

Let's dainty, but let's go Yeah.

And so we got a call to say your son has been involved in organizing a boxing I.

Was I was the sacrificial lamb. Oh yeah, okay, I wasn't the ringleader, but I was dobbed in by the others.

So he did have to come home early. The good news is that Matt still has retained the championship for the midnight box At the.

Time, how old was it was fifteen, troubling age.

I was at a pretty strict school and I remember I think I was fourteen, and I really wanted to have frosted tips, like really badly.

You and everybody else at fourteen.

Yeah, and you let me do it, which is no.

No.

What happened was your auntie, who's a headdresser, came from Wales and she had all this bleach and stuff and she was showing me how to do it. Never done it in my life, and you said, I wouldn't mind having highlights. Okay, boy, sit, your mother's going to do it. So I did all these highlights and overprocessed it just tad. So you did look a little bit over blonde. Anyway, you went to school looked great.

I don't know if I did.

I'm not picturing it looking.

And the next day we had what what they called the people who controlled the universe.

Security we had. The school was really strict, so we had marshals who that the only job was to just make sure that if anyone misbehaved in the school, you got dealt with by the marshals.

Oh my god.

So they weren't teachers, that were essentially like police on campus.

They phoned me and they said, we've noticed that Matthew has come with dyed hair. We don't know who would have done that to him, and I don't know, I'm not sure, but it's unacceptable. He'll have to have his hair changed, and then he proceeded to say, this is the honest troup. You know, you couldn't go to war with a young man who did that, the marshal. The marshal actually said military.

I think he was a vet, though I think it was.

Did they let you keep the hair?

No, I had to cut it he had.

Did they make you cut it or what? That's wild? Why did you send him to this school to straighten him out?

No? No, Well it was a strict school, but it was a co ed so it was a co ed private school and they did have a lot of good things, like Ironbach which was a farm and you went for a term and you and.

Good for sport as well.

And good for sport, it was good for drama.

Oh that's where he gets it.

Yeah. Would you say you kept us kids on a tight leash or did you take the approach of giving us total free rerain?

Do you know? I think when you're a single parent that is very hard to keep all your children on a tight rain because it's physically you just drown. So I wouldn't say I did that, But you didn't push that too far your sister did that? You remember that you would be part of the team that would hold her back in the house so she couldn't go out with unsavory individuals.

Imber I remember. And also she would wag school, so we would leave in the morning and she would go with other clothes in her backpack, and then she would not go to school, and I'd be like, please come to school, and she's like, shut up, do what I want.

Well, interesting thing with that was she had a part time job at Mecca's. One Friday afternoon, I was going to school late and I hadn't had lunch, and I never do this during the day, and I thought, oh, I'll get maccas. I'd taken Kate to school that morning, and I went through the drive through to order my filet of fish burger, the fish filet, and I looked up and this was about twelve o'clock and there was Kate and I'd taken to the school that morning.

She worked the drive through. She was working. She could have been doing way worse.

And I just looked at her and I couldn't speak, and eventually I said, I will talk to you when you get home. And I didn't get my filet.

I thought, you're going to say I will get one.

And I will not be paying for it. You should have for sure.

She was quite strong willed and she was a naughty one. Yeah, she was a bit naughty.

Yeah.

I love how this has just become like her trash. What else did she do wrong as well? She never paid you back that two hundred bucks that she owed you as well? Did she?

And like having four boys a lot of testosterone in the house and them getting into their teenage years, Matt was obviously a bit younger than the older you had an older one oldest boy.

Can I just say this question was asked so many times by the perverts of this country, what's wrong with you people?

There was obviously some masturbating happening in the house with all these boys.

I don't think so.

How many times or if any, did you walk in on our young Matthew here I would say pulling the skin back, but he didn't have any on there.

Now, I actually not as often as you would think.

Not as often, or do you just suspect it?

There was a time and the name will I will not reveal the name of Let's say it wasn't Matt. And we just moved into a house and we hadn't yet put curtains up, and it was it was morning, and I just happened to be outside, passing the window and I looked across. Okay, someone's having a good time. I shall just walk on by. That's the honest Did I see it? Wasn't you?

Oh well, okay, I did find Are we protecting?

But I do remember when we were leaving that house and unpacking and I had to dismantle your bed. There were a number of condoms underneath still in the wrapper. No, they had been.

Jerking off of the condom.

I was getting busy. I was wearing protection.

Yeah, that's very true.

Wasn't.

Let's not mention any names. Okay, I thought there was one time though, in the ken Moore house. There was one time.

Did you have any crusty towels? No?

I never used a towel. I think that I always I always thought I was found out. There was one night bedrooms were upstairs. Downstairs was like a computer room, and then there was like a toilet in like the rumpus area. And you must have woken up and seen the light was on downstairs late at night, so you came downstairs. I was in the bathroom and I'm pretty sure I was doing my thing, and I'm pretty sure you opened the door, remember this, And it was a split second and you shut the door and then you

God? Maybe it was k.

Okay great. I always thought I was found out, so we don't.

But I did find out one more thing. It was Echer Day and we always went to Eke.

For those of you who don't know Ekker, it's kind of like the Easterns.

So your older brother didn't want to go this year, and I thought, okay, that's all right, you can stay at home. And then we got a telephone bill at that time, and there were all these bills to some remote island in the Pacific, and it was there were hugely expensive.

It was laundering money.

It's ridiculous. We don't know anybody who lives on an island in the Pacific. I'm under call Telstra. So I called him up and I said, I'm looking at the telephone bill. It's extraordinary. Ending it went on and on, and this poor girl was like yeah, yeah, yeah, trying to explain it, and she said, I have to say that this does often happen, and it is a pawn size.

I wonder how many phone calls Telstra got that time, in that time when that was so big, because obviously now it's all online. Yeah, they must have just been like rubbing their hands and.

As soon as people said the Pacific, they're like.

Well that's porn porn capital and.

Then blazed her. She did say, she said, look in their defense, once you go into that site, every time he tried to get out, it takes you deeper in. It's very difficult to get h.

Yeah, it was funny because it opens up three, four, five tabs, ten tabs, just all of a sudden.

And then we looked at the dates that we were.

Own.

What would you say was the dumbest thing I ever did as a youngster.

It wasn't. It was a pure accident, but Matt was his birthday. We had an outside slide and right in the last five minutes he ran and fell back and banged his head.

And we're playing Spotlight ass just people, miss Spotlark. Good game.

People were about to leave and Matt kept saying, is this my partner?

You knocked yourself out?

Yeah? Yeah, at your party? Why are people here? Kept repeating it, and I thought there's something wrong here. So we took him to hospital and he kept repeat had concussion. But you didn't get into too many unfortunate situations like that, did you? But that was a biggie.

No, I'm it was pretty I mean even I looked back and I me and my mate smally like in high school we were like, oh, we want to go to Europe. Simply finished high school and we've been like saving up, like whilst we had jobs, part time jobs all through a year eleven and twelve. As soon as school finished, we went to Europe. So we were seventeen. Wow, that's when we finished school and Smallsey goodbye. And we went to Europe when we were seventeen.

And I have thought I must have been exhausted. One is going.

You go having like five kids, and people always talk about like when they start to grow up, you start to just worry about what they're doing. Did you worry about them much? Would? Were you so confident?

No?

Oh? No, I think worry is a natural part of parenting. Worry is to some extent healthy. It makes you hyper vigilant and when you hear things that have happened to others, even though it's scary, but it makes you more aware and that I think normal. But then for a lot of people, including me, there was a period where this worrying aspect became unhealthy. It was short lived, but I remember just getting anxious if anybody would take them in the car.

How old were we at this time, you would have.

Been sort of six, only had three then, and I didn't want you to stay over at people's houses.

Did something happen to start that process.

No, I was just very aware that I was really getting super anxious. I was aware of it and was quite scared about it. Almost wanted to keep you in a wardrobe so you didn't get hurt, because you'd hear things on TV and it's horrific, and you just try to imagine what if something happened, and knowing that you

Does it get easier as we get older? Is it out of sight, out of mind?

It does get easier. I was a little worried, you're going to Europe, but you had family to go to. But on the converse of that, this sounds a big corny but Bett Middler's song The Rose, there's a line in that and I really held onto that those who are afraid to die never learned to live. And I thought, yeah, do I want my kids to live? Do I want

Pray that you'll be It's really good advice because you're right.

What traits then, did you want to try and instill into us as kids?

Everybody is born with this individual genetic mix. You know, you've got those genes, but they're mixed together differently. I suppose you hope that you will be kind individuals. But one thing that now, when I see you all as adults, I know that you chan pion at the underdog. You all do that.

I'm an alpha mats.

There's been a lot of on the news lately of citizens arrest, you know, people stepping in because of the crime. And I as much as you don't want to put your child in danger, but I know that all of you, including Kate, if you pass somebody in need, I know that you would render assistance. And that's what I would hope that you would never And I don't have to hope because I know that's what you would do, and you did it once. Do you remember on the beach?

I want to say that I didn't ask my mum to tell these stories.

Please continue, Please put me up go, but do you remember on the beach there was a man that was attacking somebody and you.

Hero, well, look, we're at Barron and we had an afternoon flight and we had a couple of hours to kill where we'd already checked out. We went to the main pub and Byron was a little park in front of them, so we had lunch. Their kids were on the swing, and we kind of noticed in the car park there were these kids who were like really roy recently, oh maybe like a couple of years ago.

So you had Maley, yeah.

Marley, I don't think Lola was around then, and we kind of you could hear these kids, like you know, music blurring in the car park and they were kind of getting rowdy and rowdy and they sounded like having a few arguments amongst each other. And then as we were like literally in the park, this one of the kids came across and was like swearing at himself and yelling.

He was like let's go.

Why boy, He was looking at me as like don't you don't need to I've got this cover, and I.

Was like, just come to even it out.

He just picked me up and ran with me.

Used you as a weapon.

We tackled this guy and that pinned it down. And there's a statue of the environ base what that is? Police came in like two seconds.

Wow, and mate, you're just just a hero of the citizens. Had you had to drag your mummy in on the podcast just so that you could get that story. Thanks, thank you for setting him up with that one. Look, it's it is a good trait to have.

Yeah, And I know it's scary. You know, you don't want them to step in and get harmed. But I don't think I'm a woman, an older woman, but if someone if I passed someone in need, i'd have to.

If you ever get fly kicked by a crack head, Ellie's going to come in and save the day.

Now.

Just switching gears a little bit again, because that's what I'm best at. Is there anything growing up like Matt growing up that you've caught him out on that you've actually never told him that you've found out about? Anything that comes to mind? Big question? I know, dicover something.

We were pretty much an open book.

Look, there's always going to be something, right, whether she remembers it now or down the track, and she texts me later about what it is.

But you're quite honestly, nothing major comes to mind because.

I tell you everything anyway.

Yeah, we're very honest with each other. How well, Yes, I don't know whether I should say yes she did, go go go, but no names, no names.

There's one of these brothers, okay, who.

Went to Canada and asked me to send his drive license to Canada for him. And I did that, and I kept checking, has the license arrived because you're leaving soon?

No?

No, no, no, no, hadn't arrived, hadn't arrived. Eventually he came home and a couple of weeks after that, this package arrived, this envelope, and it was quite thick, and I thought, ah, his his license. And I did something that honestly I never would do. I thought it was his license. I opened up the envelope and it was a birthday card, and I opened your card.

No one's having a birthday in this household.

And as I opened the card, I saw about ten little pouches of white So I drug bill. I'd closed the envelope. I'd closed the card, put it back in the envelope, put it on the hall stand, and didn't know what to do. I thought, I think there could be police just hovering outside the show.

So you've discovered that someone in the house is essentially smuggling drugs into the house.

And it came home, the house is spotless, nine bags were remaining.

And did you just not say anything like what really incriminating this guy.

Anyway? He I didn't, Honestly, I did not know how to handle that.

The Johnson family or the Jamelle Golby family.

So I just left it on the hall stand. Obviously it had been opened to see what reaction went down the toilet or anything.

Did you leave it there to see what the reaction would be once? Yeah, yeah, so that he will remain nameless.

And he was very apologetic, and he was shocked that I'd found out.

And it had come from Canada.

Wow, much cheaper in Canada, did you say?

Okay? So he was on the way home from Canada, thought I'm going to get some sent home. So when I go no, no, this.

Was this was sent he said by a friend.

Oh okay, right right right, Well there you did you know that?

Yes?

You did know that.

Yes, I taught him how to do it, just to confirm.

It wasn't Matt. For those we have this segment called lies, where we actively admit to lying to our kids, and so does the listeners they send in. Are there any lies that you remember telling Matt growing up, like any parenting lies?

No, not with Matt, but there was one with Kate.

Does Kate know this lie? Is like it's a lie? Or she probably know now, but you didn't actually say you rememory She say that it was okay.

I haven't actively gone back to her and said, hey, you know that question you are?

Is it about a dead pet?

I don't know. It's much worse. Please, Ka don't want to hear this.

Yes we do.

Kate was about fourteen, just getting to know about sex and explaining to her, trying to be honest. She was taking it all in and there was this book that she were going through together, and she thought for a while and said, Mom, have you ever had oral sex?

Oh? My dear goodness.

And at that moment everything be honest with your children. And I looked at her and I said, no, darling.

See mom is actually a cock monster.

I can't I can't see that could go to air because Kate would disown me.

Kate, but your mom has had oral sex before?

I hate right now listening to the podcast.

No. There was another funny anecdote. We were in Wales visiting my mother, their grandmother, small bathroom. Were all in the bathroom together and Kate went to the toilet and Adam looked and he said, where's Kate's penis? And I said, well, she doesn't have a penis, and he said, oh, well, what does she have? He was about seven, And I thought, for a split second, I will call it what it is, so I said, she has a vagina. And he looked, and he nodded and went out. Didn't repeat the word.

Oh God, that's one of those things where it's like just the kid just doesn't know.

And it was that was honesty that did not pay.

I don't know if there's an answer to this question. So if there's not, it's totally fine. And I'm going to put you on the spot here when you look back at the years of parenting with all of us, maybe it's just me any mistakes that you made, do.

You know what? I think? Parenting is honestly the hardest job you will ever do. There are no guidelines because each child is so different. So if you feel you have got through parenting without making mistakes, you are delusional. We all will make mistakes, hopefully some on the smaller side rather than But yes, I've made mistakes, and I don't have to go into exactly what they were. But something was sent to me that was one particular thing that I have regretted, and it was getting to me.

Unless it's murder, yes, or drug trafficking. I agree.

I'm to say that we all of us have the potential to relieve that moment, to beat ourselves up over it. And when I saw that, I thought, yeah, it's not a life sentence. You've got to learn from it and then move on.

And as we all know, the whole nation knows, Matt was the Bachelor.

Oh what was he?

Yeah, he was also on the Bachelorette, but we'll skip that part because I don't want to see him cry again. Oh I'm sorry. What were your initial thoughts? Not every mom can say my you know, my son was on reality TV? What was your initial thoughts on that?

Okay? When I remember distangly the conversation phone me and he said, applied for this and there's auditions, and I was not a fan of reality television. And I remember saying, you really really want.

To do this?

He said yeah, yeah, it'll be a bit of fun, yeah, in between jobs, and I went, oh, okay. And then a little while later you must have told Kate, and Kate and I were both saying, what the hell is he doing?

But no, you know, obviously went well, we got two kids.

I mean, if I'd been asked to place money on a bed, I would have thought, no, this isn't going to work. And that's probably been the biggest shock. Yeah, but it didn't just work. It brought two people together who should be together. And Laura is my daughter, my second daughter. And the weird thing is it was weird going to Thailand, never having met two girls Elise and Laura, I had to interview. That should have been super weird, shouldn't it weird? These girls who are vying for Matt's attention.

Try not to tell them about the six skin.

But they were both of those girls who were lovely. But when Laura and I sat down, and it sounds corny, but it was as if I'd known her for years, it was the most beautiful thing.

And imagine if you chose the other one after that, Yeah, yeah, yeah that or did the honey badger and just took off.

Yeah. Yeah, you and Laura do have a really great relationship, and I do, and I feel bad for other people out there who don't have great relationships with their mother in laws. But would you have any advice for maybe if there's any women out there who will down the line become a mother in law, how can they have a good relationship with their child's partner.

Wow, that's an impossible question because there are so many layers. First of all, like we all know, with friendships, you've just got to gel and sometimes you meet them for the first time and there's common interest and it's easy. And with your mother in law, I think the one thing never to criticize her son. It would be very easy once you get to know them really well. You know, you go, gosh, she does no because in her eyes you're criticizing her. Yes, Yeah, good advice and I'm going.

Doesn't say a bad word about me again.

Yeah.

Try to look at your own little boy or daughter and imagine that one day someone is going to be more important in their lives than you are, and how you would feel.

I think that's it's difficult for some mums to accept.

And let go. Yeah, because there's there's always those cringy things on the line where it's just like your mum's your first love. It's like that's a bit much.

You know what I mean, just a little bit too much, Like I think it's maybe easier. Maybe tell me if this is wrong. When you have five kids, you kind of you are happy for them.

Yeah, if you got one boy, if you got one child, one.

Boy, three in the way, all still single.

If anyone if anyone's looking for a drug meal or just reached out to Math's mom, I think, look solid advice, and look, my mom and my wife get on. I get on with my wife's mom. There's no you know, we're pretty open and pretty yeah, but you can imagine that there's somehow the that justa and you see it. They made a reality TV show about that as well. I remember when I said to my mom, what if I was on Big Brother? And my mum straight said,

But I think you have to support your kid.

Yeah.

I think whatever direction apart from drug meal, yeah, in ever direction they're going, yeah you go.

Yeah. I think when I eventually was like this is where I'm actually just had to be like, oh, shit, I can't go. Am I going to go back on my word that I will disown you? It's like, well, that's your problem. One final question from me Matt's crocs. What are your thoughts on crocs?

Well?

I don't wear them, but people can. It's the sort of thing no people can, but you know, they either look silly on you, and it looks really silly on me because maybe I'm little, but I don't mind them.

Let's leave it at that.

I want to say one thing.

Okay, well hang on before you get into that. A lot of people actually asked your beauty. Oh yeah, because you're seventy three. You look amazing.

You don't have to tell me twice Matthew.

One, shit, how dare you?

You're eighty five and you look great. I look at your seventy one. I've been telling everyone your seventy three.

So apologies, yeah, apologies, yeah, Look that's not on.

What is your beauty secrets?

Ellie?

Look a little bit of everything except not the spurm on the face. You've heard about it, not yet anyway, not doing that. Look, I find this question just a tad embarrassing really, because you.

Just take care of yourself.

I do you know, Yeah, I suppose I take care of myself.

I do something wrong with saying that I take care of yourself. I take care of myself. As you can see, I'm actually fifty five.

How about with Marley and Lola, what traits do you see in them which you think they've gotten from me?

Okay, it's still hard when they're this young, but I certainly see and I see Marley, who physically looks more like you, and Lola, who physically looks more like Laura. However, Marley has the artistic bent. I mean, it's obvious. She's very artistic.

She's really clever, She's like little Laura. Yeah. When I when I met Marley before I met Laura, and then so i'd met Marley and how like she's really intelligent and even the way she kind of carries herself. And then I met Laura went, ah, yeah, that's where it comes from.

So that's something that is from Laura. But the other thing I noticed, Matt being the middle child, it was always look at me, look at me, look at me.

He still like that, look at me.

That's why he went into drama and film and television courses and did that. But I'm beginning to see a little bit of that in Marley. I mean maybe both of them. But Marley, if you start to film her, she will change. She'll really respond.

Yeah. I saw that video of her doing the singing to you guys with the hairbrush.

She loves a little concert.

Yeah.

Because Matt, I have to say, am I correct in saying? Matt? You're not artistically art wise creative? You don't draw.

Wait, you're not perfect, you are, but you are creative.

I like to I like to draw. When I was younger, I really enjoyed drawing. I don't draw up much anymore, but I still like, you know, I love coming up with skip video ideas.

Now that's where you're creative, lies coming up.

You've got a good your ideas man. I'm the creative director and you're the ideas man.

But your natural trait all through has been humor. You have been our entertainment at home, quick with with comebacks, make any situation funny. And I'm thinking that even Lola physically looks like Laura, Yeah she does, but I think she's going to be the funny one. I think Molly is a little more even though she loves the entertaining, but a little bit more serious. But then they change.

Yeah, I guess Laura and I are so similar in personality times, but also in looks as well. Yeah. Literally, people are like are they siblings? Are they?

It's funny like the two girls, because the other day when I rang you and it like we're both having a shit morning, and Marley's like the very distinct differences in your two kids. Marley's like ash like over look, I can click, and she's taking and all I can hear in the background is Lola going, And it was like that sums them up. Sometimes Lola is a little

She clicks, Well, yeah, amazing.

She's good. You put the thing is, I've got a four year old two. You put those two together, and Marley's way ahead of Oscar. And when we thought, like Oscars, you got a cabillary is amazing, But like put in next someone like a girl the same age. Yeah, yeah, very different.

Yeah, a question that we got, like so many of them. They're all about how do you still have a good relationship with your parent as an adult. And I think it's a really tough one to answer because we've been really fortunate that we've always just been really close. I think, obviously you love your child and you love your parent, but then whether or not you like each other and you have a good friendship in addition to having that

Yeah, that's nice that you feel that my opinion is valid. But I do think a few people have asked, you know, how to how do you get close to your children? And again there's so many layers. One layer is luck that you just click. The other layer is time that you make sure that you give a huge amount of time to your children, that you always try to be there when they need you. And that maybe leads on

Man, Yeah, yeah, I do, you know.

And I I don't regret it, because my greatest achievement in my life if I had been the first female astronaut to land on the Moon, I can tell you now that my biggest achievement in life has been my children and grandchildren. And I know it's hard. People out there will say yes, but I deserve a life too, and I get that, so it's a tricky one, but I just feel grateful that I didn't have that need. But I do remember Matt once saying to me, but aren't there times when you really want a big fat cop.

And that's a really, really good place.

And your answer to that question was heck, yeah, you know what the.

Answer was, how do you know I'm not getting oh shit?

Okay, Well, look, I'm super excited to have you on the podcast and thank you so much and answering our questions, especially the forskin questions.

It would be remiss of me not to take the opportunity to say thank you as a son, because I think you talk about luck and you talk about how fortunate you are to be given the children that you've been gifted, But at the same time, I'm so insanely lucky that I've been given you as a as a parent. I'm probably gonna cry when I talk about this. Sorry, I just can leave the room, no, but I just want to say, you know, the only reason why I

I love you.

Wow, this is very sweet. I feel like I'm third willing, But Matthew, thank you for me very vulnerable in that moment. I'm not rolling my ears at you at all.

Well, Ellie, thank you so much for jumping on the podcast, putting up with Ash and myself for this. God, you did a great job.

I won't charge too much.

No good you need voice Me's It'll be in the.

Mail, I'm sure.

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Don't forget to review and subscribe.

Yes, if you've liked this episode, As Ellie said, don't forget to review and subscribe. Also follow us on Instagram. Maybe we'll get one of my parents on sometime within your future. I hope not. Maybe Dad, Maybe I don't think Mum would be booking. But anyway, thank you again and thank you everyone for listening. That's all a good time for.

Two Doting Dad's podcast acknowledges the traditional custodians of country throughout Australia and their connections to land, sea and community.

We pay our respects to their elders past and present, and extend that respect to all Aboriginal and Torrestrate Islander peoples today. This episode was recorded on Gadagal Land.