To snip, or not to snip? [vasectomy]

You are oh fair the one.

De Yeah. I'm saying that because people keep saying, you guys look like you got to try to fuck each other.

The storytelling, i think, is what's doing it for you.

Do you watch it back and go, we look like we want to fuck each other.

We're probably one really really funny joke away from kissing.

Welcome back to two doting daddying Maddy J.

Sorry what sure again?

Welcome back to two doting dads. I am Maddie J.

And I'm Mash.

This is a conversation all about parenting, the good, the bad.

And the relatable.

And we have to also say at this point, if you're coming for any type of.

Advice, steer clear, child right now.

I have to say, right now, you may be thinking that doesn't sound like Maddie JA. It is me. I have overcome. It's not been easy, man, flu I'm coming out the other end.

I know you've been complaining about it all week. I feel sorry for.

I've persevered. I've made sure. You messaged me the other day and you were, like I said, I can't recall, but I feel good.

I didn't complain undertones undertones of complaint.

It's been tough. It's been tough.

You sound like Darren Lockyer Brisbane. Great, Yes, you like that.

I sound like I've been kicked in the throat with a pair of football boots.

Yeah, yeah, which chain smoker now? I actually and none of that digital stuff, all that analogue. It's back on the Winnie Reds.

I kind of like it when you read no, I kind of like that. Yeah, it makes me sound more rugged.

I'll punch in the throat and you can be like that forever mate.

I'd a bit of full play.

Yeah, there would be a lot of women like right now? I like it?

Is it off? Putting? It all being? Was it someone who's got now such a rugged, husky voice.

Look, you'll get used to it. I've had to earn. I've had to earn this voice. It doesn't come naturally.

Were you ever a smoker? Did you smoke? Yeah?

I used to smoke when I was a young lad.

Why did you stop?

I don't know, I just like stopped. I think it's just it's just not cool anymore.

Right.

I think April hated it for so long and then I just like stopped smoking sober, as a lot of people do when they drink, they smoke as well, maybe not so much these days because the vaping and then yeah, just all of a sudden and now a cigarette repulses me, Like I can't even walk behind someone smoking a ciggy with Like I got a friend who I was telling this to him the other day. He's just he's an ex smoker now on the vape, and I was, I can't even walk behind someone who's smoking. I've got to

But it is. Who would have thought we'd be doing such a serious message, But this is an important one. It is very important because I know, I'm very guilty of thinking that I'm entirely invincible, aside from manflu.

Yes, aside from manflu. And whereas you know, testicular cancer is one of the most common.

Yeah, it's like number one.

Yeah, it's up there.

Actually always thought it was like an old man's cancer.

Old man cancer. Yeah, I thought that was like we just refer to cancer now as old man cancer. But it's not. It's a young man's game, Matthew.

It is, but it's very easy to treat. Actually, just gotta like literally spotted early. And the reason to spotted early is by checking your nuts, fondling your nuts.

And I fondle every day anyway. So now when a processed me, get your hand out of your pants, I'm like, babe, this could save my life, my dick. Fondeling could save my life.

I wish I knew the reason for this. But they say the best time to fondle your nuts is inside the shower steamy.

Yeah, they also hang a lot lower with a bit of heat. Steam. Yeah, especially in winter. Minor within me at the moment, if you reach down and try to grab a handful.

Of my nuts, there's nothing that little pellets.

Pellets, but I've checked them and they're good. Yeah, they feel good.

And if you do spot any kind of weird lump, straight to your gp gp gp that shit right up? Are we saving laves right now?

Absolutely?

Who?

I would consider myself a laugh saver after just mentioning it.

See the people listing right now. You're welcome.

I never thought that I would tell people that I found on one nuts every day and then consider myself a laugh saver. But I've just done it.

One of the reasons why it really sucks that I'm sick right now. Ash, I've told you this story before, but I've got a race coming up next Sunday, the twenty first of this month, this Sunday coming and I'm racing against my brother in law. It's a ten k run. He is someone who is extreme fit. He's like the stereotypical alpha male. He's a builder. His name's Bill, Oh my gosh, and he wrestles bear.

Does he have a kelpie?

He had a German shorthaired pointer, okay, which is kind of like a.

He's a man's man.

He would shake my hand.

Squeeze the ship out of it.

And just squeeze it until I.

Would like, do you ever just like sneak a finger in there and rub a palm that I really bring him back down to earth.

But he said to me, he said, I bet you I could beat you in a running race. And I used to be a good runner.

A second, what are you guys in kindergarten, does the fastest, Whoever the fastest, get the girl.

I don't remember how this came up.

I think it was it's a bit like my dad's vast than your dad.

Yeah, it was a bit of a dick showing competition.

And I've seen you as it's handsome, right.

I think it was in front of his mates at a Sunday barbecue, like a few beers, and he was just staunching me in front of his mates, and I think I said, no, mate, I'm a pretty good runner. I can beat you. So the competition is whoever losers has to then get a tattoo of a turtle on their body somewhere, which for me is fine because I've got a few tattoos.

Anyway, a couple of tough stickers.

But for him, he's clean skin, got none, he's got nothing nice.

But he's he got to beat him. He's got in the perspective.

How much of an athletic freak he is. He did an ultra marathon.

Can' oh you're done for.

Like hundreds of kilometers and if you finish within fourteen hours, it's considered elite. It's elite level. You get like it with minimal training and also keeping in mind that only half of the people actually finished the race. He did it in like thirteen hours forty something, so he finished.

Within Like, holy shit, what I've.

Been training really hard. I've been training.

I've noticed, I've noticed you keep telling me like you're in the prime of Villa.

This is the fittest I've ever been. And I said to myself, the only thing that would derail me is if I get sick and fucking what happened?

Weak out? Are you fitter now than you were when you're on the Bachelor, Like obviously you would have worked hard so that like you're going to be on national TV every second night of the week with your abs out. I mean, granted you were younger.

I put on a bit of size because I'm pretty skinny.

Like that's I wasn't gonna say.

I mean seagulls, I snashed the creating.

Before Bachelor, yeah, water retention, yeah yeah yeah.

Whereas now a bit more leaner.

You are, you've got to run his body, yeah yeah.

But it's also what's added, not to complain ash, what's added to the situation is the fact that Laura has effectively left me, what do you mean she's doing dancing with austrayas worst kept secret? Was it obvious?

Oh yeah, she's looking fit that I was looking at it like that. Well, but like, yeah, and she's married to you. So also I've noticed yesterday she was teasing what it is or what it could tell that she's been working hard. So look, it wasn't a huge surprise to all of us, but it's obviously happy for her.

But yeah, I'm glad you're happy for me. It fucking sucks. I'm now getting a taste of what it would be like if we got a divorce and I was on my own.

Parent brutal, and she got the weekend visit. It's not you, yes, yes, so you're the primary care I.

Literally have just thought, I think for anyone out there's a single parent, fuck me, like.

I don't know how they do.

I don't do not know how you do it.

It's unbelievable. Look I do it for an afternoon and I'm like, oh my god, I need like three days rest.

It's hard. But they're only plus from this being the only parent in the mix right now because Laura literally like she's out the door at seven o'clock. She's got in the podcast radio jury business. She does a million things, and then she trains in the evening, so she'll come home for a little bit, then go back out train till like ten thirty. But because I'm literally like the only person who's look after my children. The other night, Laura came home right as we're about to have shower

She felt bad, a little bit of parent girl for sure.

She she is like she's you know, so when she comes home she wants to get straight into it and give them all of her attention. And as she rushed in, Marley put her hand out was like, Mum, stopped right there. I want dad to give me a shower.

Sweet justice. See, who'd have thought that actually parenting your children would pay off? Because I'm not. I'm only out of the spectrum where they just like obsessed, obsessed with Mum. If I get a cuddle in it's like yes, but like to be the preferred parent at the time.

It's it's fucking beautiful.

I mean, I'm not putting legs.

It's amazing. Also does kind of suck because you then.

Have to then like leave up to that standard.

Laura can take a break.

I can't drop the ball now, big boy.

Yeah number one right now, it's good spot to be. How long will it last?

I don't know, probably too the weekend and.

Yeah, well I think she's got she's got like three more weeks left that could Well, it's not live anymore. It's all pre recording.

Trust live people anymore.

Yeah, so it's all pre recorded.

Cancel people get canceled anything live.

And then as soon as it finishes, I'm out.

You're a moving now I'm out.

But like I'm going to sound like such aa, so just carry on. Lola and I have got this thing now where your besties is where I give her a little cuddle before she goes down for a sleep at nighttime. And now it's become a thing because.

It's a habit. Now you've created a bad habit.

It's the routine. And Laura was putting her to bed and she was saying cuddle, and I said to Laura like kind of came in and said, you know, like it's you know you're trying, but.

We actually this is how you do it.

Laura is like, what the fuck has happened? And I give her like a little thing.

She's she's on the as she's on the out. If this was Survivor, this week's not looking good for her. She'd better have her hidden immunity somewhere.

I'm down the park with all the mums and.

I'm like, why don't you going to the mother's Day.

We've got an afternoon tea at daycare, which is for the mums. We're recording this before Mother's Day if anyone's confused, and Laura can't make it.

Because she's dancing with another star gutted.

So I'm going to rock up and I'll be there.

Choken, dad, Hey, who's to say? Like, dad's kimmi? Mums too. On that note, we should probably wish all the mother's a very happy Mother's Day, because of course mother's are parents too, absolutely not just dads.

I'm always surprised at how many moms are listening to the podcast. I always thought it would just be.

Like, because there's no judgment here. I think.

No, this is the same space if you're a parent, even if you're.

If you hate your kids, we get it.

Come take see and get comfy.

Speaking of mothers, I've had mine here. She was here for a couple of days.

She's on the Gold Coast now.

Yeah. Yeah, so she's been in Sydney for like two weeks, staying with my sister, who the favorite is there.

Remind me, your sister has.

One child and I have two. Okay, but my sister needs more help. I've got more of a support network over here with April's parents and so forth. So anyway, I was down at the shopping center just down the road from my house my mom. That's been there since the eighties is shopping center. Of course it's been revamped, but there's I came out there right the Camart has been there the whole time, and I was walking into came up with my mom and my son, who's nearly four.

Surely not.

Yeah. He apparently was just like lingering around. And at this point, I'm like, what the fuck are you talking about. I've never known this, and she was like yeah, yeah, Like it got to the point where I had to like snatch you off him, and I was like, how dare you? I could have been one of those children that was abducted. So essentially, I've just found out in my thirties that I was this closed to being abducted.

Wow, did you call the cops?

No, she said, I just grabbed her gave him the eyes. What do you mean, gave him the eyes of the nineties, He.

Tried to fucking abduct her child and she gave him the eyes. I'd be like calling the fucking.

Brain and I came home just before and I said to everyone like I was nearly abducted, just like today. I'm like, no, I'm thirty two, no one wants me.

I'm used up now you're look it came up just like anybody want me?

I got one, I was saying free, and I was just like in shock, but also like that's.

Quite big for your mom just to be like, oh, by the way, yeah, do you want this topics to size small for Oscar? And you almost got abducted when you were four years I like.

Right here, you almost got abducted when you were this age.

I was like, oh, you're right, it's back at the scene of the grant.

Yeah.

And instead, you.

Know what my life could have been if that guy came out of Yeah, to be fair, people do nasty things. I'll probably be dead. But walking through Camart and I was just like trying to wrap my head around it, like that's how close I could have been to being abducted.

If that had happened, we would.

Happy Mother's Day to my life.

Holy shit.

Yeah, honestly can't believe that.

I wonder if it was, like I mean, was it just a case of this guy, was you know, saw this young chap running towards him, and.

He apparently eyed me off for ages and was like, it was the nineties, So I don't know, people.

Were different now. I reckon, like the fact was.

Like ninety three or something.

You say that, like it was like in ninety three, it was just the dumb thing that people just went to kmart and abducted kids.

It probably was, I reckon. If we deep dove into that, there would be people that have been like, I never got abductor of the exact same kmart.

Yeah, that was it was John, Classic John.

He's still alive today. So last week I did speak about my oversex means have the pregnancy scare, which we're over now we're past it.

Can I ask, Gosh, have you got the check up?

No? I don't intend to fucking hell dude. Actually that brings me to something that people were commenting and messaging me saying we have the same thing, still haven't been tested, And it's crazy because of how many people have actual messaged me or put comments on some of the content and being like, you know, we had a baby six seven years down the track. It's like fuck.

But the fact that it's scared one safe but don't you want that peace of mind?

I like to live life on the edge, friend.

Obviously, Like you know, I'm assuming that when you in April, do the.

Deed, get it done. You're not wearing I don't wear my hat, all my socks, your raw dog, rod Dog and baby. I got the verseect with me for one reason and one reason only, and that is a proad dog.

There was a guy he dropped a message on the video that you posted, and he said to the doctor, He's like, do as much damage right now. I want you to burn that little tube, tie it, do everything you can to make it irreversible. Yeah, is that something that you kind of say, like, Butcher.

You don't get you don't get to pick the level of a sectomy that you Yeah, you're like, there's only one level, level ten. It's like when you're going for heart sege' like, give me the very best level you've got?

Can I start from the very beginning, Because I'll be honest, A lot of people find it shocking. I do as well. The fact that you're thirty two and you've taken the venom out of the snake.

No one has ever said that to me like that, Look the snake had some sit sorry, starting from the very beginning of time, like before or after I was abducted.

So you had you had your first child?

Yeah, so I had my first child in twenty nineteen, planned of course, very exciting was.

The vasectomy in the background.

No, no, no. I think originally we always set out to have two. But after the first one, I didn't want another one because it was painful, you know, like I said, you're either get asleep or you don't. I didn't get asleep. I barely slept for that whole year. Yeah, so after the first one, I was like, nuts, we're

I mean, hey, so let's be honest, that single child that in primary school. They're strange cats.

They're the sort of kids that would go to the urine and pull their pants all the way down to their ankles.

If you meet someone and I hope there's not many listeners out there who have single children, but if you meet someone who's relatively normal and you say, oh, like do your brothers and sisters and they go no, no, no, I'm the only child and they're normal.

You go, fuck yeah, you're like taken back, wow, like you were. And but the thing is we're saying that they're normal. Now you can always morph into that serial killer.

Yes, it's only a matter of times.

It's a matter of time. I don't really not understand. Like I get people want one and want to run with one, and that's fine. I think people that overpopulate the earth are worse than that person. You're slowing us down, man, the rotation physics, you're slowing the earth down by procreating that much. Especially crackheads.

Attacking people who were single children.

Yeah, the crackheads.

Who else do we hate?

I would love to be canceled by crackheads. Think of the uproar.

Open above the two to three children window is madness.

I just don't know how you do it. It's not for me. Like Dominic Perrine's got what fifteen kids.

He's got fifteen Yeah, he's got a cult.

He's just they're going to take over literally, they're going to take over the world.

Literally. Yeah, So you thought to yourself, I'm going to have a second.

Child, and then like a what chop my dick off?

Was it when April was pregnant that you were like, I'm gonna no.

I think there was always going to be two. And then we were like, can't quite remember how it sort of came about. I think I think the main conversation happened after having Macie was like, Okay, what are we going to do now?

Did you bring it up? It was just like it was just you guys kind of both came together and said I was kind of.

Both came together. I think there was one time I was putting a condom on and I thought this is not for me, and I got up and I left the room. I definitely didn't leave the room. And I think that's what it got like put into the back of both of our heads. But like me and like you've spoken to me about and a lot of other men have spoken to me about it, like we don't want to lose our superpower. That's what we think. Such an idiotic thing to think, but it's the man's way

You got drunk one night.

I got drunk one night, and I thought what might be a romantic thing to do to try and get sex that night was to say, hey, I booked a vasecto me. So I booked the VICTI me and I was like, hey, bat.

Well, when you were drunk at home or at the pub?

I was at a mates but I was coming home.

Well your mates like, ash, what are you doing over there?

On my phone? Just book just google it?

Or did someone say hey.

I just googled it? And I wanted the one that you could book online. I didn't want to have to ring anyone and say, hey, he needed to chop my dickoff.

You hate the phone, So like, did you have a Google rating.

Or five stars? Actually we'll get to that. Anyways, I came home, I'm like, guess what good book? I booked a vasectomy and hoping for.

It to be like, yes, pannies fall down in the bedroom.

Wasn't the case. He was met with I've been telling you to do it for ages. I got nothing there, and then there's.

Nothing sexier than when you've had a couple of tins.

And anyway, so back backfired. So now I'm booked him for a sex I had to pay a deposit for so they've got me in.

What's the deposit worth?

It was like two hundred bucks for the deposit. Anyway, I forgot that they booked it, and then all of a sudden, I'm getting a VERSECT me on Saturday afternoon at four o'clock. I was like a couple of weeks.

Because I thought it'd be like when you go in for plastic surgery or something and you have to have this like psyched test to be like are you doing because like they look at you and go ash, you're a young man, You're.

You're a stallion. You're a start yet out there and spread your seamen.

That didn't happen.

Well, no conversation wasn't. It's more of a in and out situation. I've had haircuts that will take longer than that, and I don't have any hair Holy shit that quick. Yeah, So I'll walk you through it.

Because I'll be honest, I am in the category of men, and I'm not saying this is the right thought to have, but I think of it as as literally being like I am chopping off my tat from this point.

Yeah, I look at like you could use.

You like dogs for example. Okay, here's my thinking. And again I know this is not correct. I know it's not the same for humans, but you know, like a dog gets desexed.

Takes the bark out of them, Yes, you know, like.

They're not the same afterwards, And I don't want to get the snip and then like not be the same Maddy j that I am right now.

I think it will calm you down. Imagine if it calms you down, how crazy I would have been before. Havn't it a sexed me?

Yeah?

This is me? Can't you fucking bouncing off the walls?

Storing tables. Oh yeah, piecing in the backyard. I bet yelling used to piss in the backyard.

Still, I'm not allowing the inside toilet anyway. So what happens is you get sent the email confirmation blah blah blah. But you also get sent a video which is like a counseling video to prepare you for what's coming. So that scares the shit out of you. I didn't watch it. How it was like three or four minutes. I made him Mine watched it and he was like, that's scary because I'm not watching that. And then you go there

Like the only thing that the only procedure.

On thing that bonds you is this procedure, like we're all united, okay. And it's in and out like it's crazy. A guy goes in walking normal and comes out walking like he's just been riding the fucking horse.

I imagine it's like, you know, like those prisoners who were kept in like a certain part of the jail when they're on death row.

Yeah, like it's that we're all going to die in this together the situation.

Yes, was it much spoken amongst the men or is.

It very eerie? It's a very eerie situation because I don't know, Like the fact is you're awake for the whole thing. Okay. It's a bit like a production line situation where it's like there's a four o'clock or four point fifteen, four point thirty or four forty five and onwards. Yeah, and their book this motherfucker is making bank. But you've got to think about like how many nuts do you need to see in one day?

Too many?

Too is too many? So you get called in, You go in, you sit down and goes did you watch the video? And of course I said yes, even I didn't. And he was like, it's really just to prepare you that this is a considered irreversible procedure, even though it is reversible, andything's reversible.

At this point. Did you have any second thoughts?

Nah? No, I was just petrified. I think fear took up most of my thought process. And I was like, yes, sir, yeah, anyway, So he was like, okay, well I needed to pull your pants down and just lay on the like the operating.

Tenner say like, oh, could you buy me you drink first?

No? No, I just said it out a couple of inches and it was like a classic classic Yeah, it was like do you know any times I've heard that today? I'm like too many obviously, but seriously, at a couple of inches. The most painful part of a herd is the local anesthetic. It's like when you get local attic at the dentist and it's like, fuck that hurt? Why does that hurt?

So that's sad sting.

I can feel it now anyway. So that happens because what they do is they cut one side open, snip that particular cord, and then they do is they melt it back together, so there's no stitches.

When you say melt, is it like burning plastic.

It's like the smell of your burning hair and skin.

You can see you can smell it.

Yeah, So for the whole time you no, we're not trying to turn people off here, sorry, yes, anyway, so you don't feel it, just feel this weird, awkward, aggressive tugging. I just was sweating the whole time. I was like sweating so much. So goes, okay, we're done. They have to peel me off the bed and I was just like, oh my god. Anyway, so then they move you to another room, which is like recover recover room. You got to sit there for fifteen minutes and watch another video.

Ah.

But the video I got to watch was a little bit about the procedure and what to expect, and also about their Google rating, like make sure you leave a review on Google rate and we have a five star Google rating, make sure you leave us a review. I'm like, any this is a restaurant, and I'm like, what the hell.

Is there any incentive, like we'll give you five percent off.

Or can give your mates five percent you refer a friend or nah? Nah, to be honest, run a really tight shit.

Can I take a guess here? You didn't leave a review?

No, if I didn't watch the video, then not watch the second video. Anyway, So after that your recovery and she goes. The nurse comes and get okay, Like you're okay to go in three months time, you need to go and get check to cb ster. Here's a pathology slip and here's a cup, and me stupidly was like, oh, I'm going to need two cups.

Get fucking creep.

I get it and I walked out past the other victims, big thumbs up to the boys did straight out the door off to the pub, and like he went to the pub, I went to a mates and had a couple of beers there. I went home, but I actually went out. The next night. I went to Surrey Hill's for like a dad's lads things with a bunch of.

The dads do they say like, yeah, you need to Yeah, They're like walk, friction is gonna.

I looked at my phone. The next day I did like fifteen thousand steps and I was wondering why my nuts were so black, so bruised. Man, I was bruised all the way up like my torso. It was the worst recovery of anything I reckon. I was like, oh my nuts were so sore?

How long?

It was like two weeks? But after I got another friend was like, oh, go and get it. His recovery was sweet. He probably did all the right thing. I didn't go on. I went surfing like two days later to Ash. What are you doing, dude, I'm bulletproop bad?

Have you got nous? Exspect for your bullsack.

Absolutely not. I don't need them anymore.

Putting them through absolute torture.

Yeah, it was a tough couple of weeks. But I still don't know if I'm staile.

Okay, the reason why I'm a bit nervous about it, and I did some research, minimal research. It was actually illegal up until nineteen seventy one in this country, illegal to give or receive.

Of a sectomy give and receive.

Yeah, I mean, I don't know what the punishment was. I don't know why it was illegal by just on a website. It was illegal until nineteen seventy one.

That's wild, hey, Like, and so you think they might not.

So well, yeah, but you think, like if it was illegal back then, maybe at some point they may go, actually, let's put it back onto the list of being illegal.

Zero science has happened since then.

I think it's now. I think we're one of the top countries. I think there's like one and forty blokes.

It's definitely like a benefit, Like it's a pretty safe form of not having it. Like if I went and did everything right and went and got checked and like you're yeah, you're star al but whatever, like you can't have any more kids. That's great, But then also, if I get divorced, I'm out in the market now and I am essentially sterile in the market.

But don't you think that then makes you less appealing?

No, no, no, no, because I wouldn't get married again.

Yeah, and obviously you in April are never gonna split up.

Absolutely not love you, April.

The reason why I'm on the fence, it is not because of the like I joke when I say like, I think it's going to be taking away, you know, a level of you, my manly hood, and I'm going to be different afterwards. I think it's the fact that I'm pretty indecisive. You know, I'll sit there and I'll look at a menu for like half an hour before I decide what to actually get to eat. You are so slow even setting up this oh my God podcast equipment today in your house. I could just see you

I don't know, Oh my, what is wrong with you?

I don't know. I just think like, who knows? What's don't you want to?

We get a lot of questions like what's you Is it hard between one and two? Duh? The answer to that question is yes, having two is harder. It's a different type of hardness. Okay, it's a logistical nightmare. Mainly, Yes, you get one age, but then you're going to have those times where they're going to outnumber you. And I feel like if you live in a household where at all times you're outnumbered by the children, nothing good can come from that. If you want to have three, go

In saying that. Ash I actually did get a question from a listener on this exact topic fire away. He said, this is lim by the way, he's expecting baby number two. It's coming very shortly. He said, boys, what are the quantifiable levels?

That's very very big word. Yeah, can we google what that means? He said, what about that? Educated, my friend?

What are the quantifiable levels of difference between being a parent of one versus being a parent of two? Is it two times as hard or is it ten times as hard because you also have to manage a toddler whilst having a newborn.

Yeah, it's definitely a different type of hardness to it. It's not like twice as hard. You can't just sit there and say that because you're at different stages of their life. Depends on what the toddlers like too. Toddlers can be really like they really like when they have a baby, Like I noticed, Oscar was always like, oh, you know, and like you try and gave to help out,

It, don't you think though, obviously the fact that you've got two now it's an increased workload, but you know what you're doing. Like I remember coming home from the hospital and we had Marley, this new more child.

In the back of the car driving thirty k'sw.

Yeah, like literally crawling on the road back home, and you think, oh, do I know.

What name we Lalia? Like one hundred and ten.

It's kind of like playing sport, you know, when you first start playing a new sport is a bit harder, like you know, but when you surf right now, as I'm sure, it's just like it's second nature you just like kids are crying.

It's crazy how much you subconsciously pick up from the first one and then dealing with the second one, like just you're got a different level of patience because you're like, okay, we I know what to expect a little bit more than obviously the first time when you it's very very new. So look, it's not easy. One hundred percent. I'm not going to sit here and say it's easy, and no one should be telling you it's easy, but it's not ten times harder.

Definitely not.

No.

And you've also got you've also got all the equipment you know.

Yeah, you're reusing.

Yeah, you're like you're set up. You're in a place where you know what you're doing. You've got everything at your disposal in terms of like bottles and nappies and you know, change tables and you're good to go. There is nothing that will be more of a shock to the system than the change in you and your lifestyle for that first baby.

Oh yeah, yeah, your life will never be the same before, never any aspect. You could have fifteen dogs in your life could never be sad. So yeah, I think the second one it is hard logistically, it's hard when the good times are good too. So you got to think, like when I've got two now and may he's just like, you know, giving back. You're like, yeah, there's no way I wouldn't have the second.

Now, do you ever have a conversation with parents who have three and they say to you, the change from two to three is like non existent. A lot of parents say to.

Me like they live in denial, my friend, don't you reckon.

I've had so many conversations where they say, hey, like having a third, it's lazy. You don't even notice it.

That's got to be dribble. You've got another mouth to feed, you got another Essentially, the first year of a baby's life, all you're doing is trying to keep that thing alive. Yes, you know what I mean. You're like, you're not.

That's fucking stressful.

Yeah, And you're just trying to keep it alive. And when you get past that first year and they start to be like, oh, I'm more than just a blob now, and it's like, oh, there's a whole different set of problems. And look, I've only got two very young kids. I don't know what it's like with people who've got older kids and then having a third. It might not be

So to wrap it up, Liam, I think the fact that Ash and I are both doing okay and you're using words like quantifiable in your questions, you're going to fucking excel.

You've got at least one.

Ash, Do we have we have time for two more questions? I know, I feel like I've been rushing you. Mate, You've got somewhere to be something like, what have you got on this afternoon? You know what we're stressed about. I think it's the fact that we've been recording this episode with Macy upstairs, who's asleep. She didn't go down at a normal nut time and she woke up.

Ears. Yeah, looks she only had a quick sleep. April's upstairs.

She's just we've I don't know if you can hear this in the audio, but she's working up. She screamed, I'm chill and I'm hard.

Fine your kids on here.

Do we have time for two?

Yes? Okay, make it three?

No two, Let's do ten questions?

Get real bored these people listening?

Question number one? And that was that number one? Well I kind of think it was like it was that was question number one, Question number two?

Make up the rules? Do whatever you like.

Ash, Yes, do you miss who you were before you became a dad?

I've had this question asked to me before, and like I tell my therapist, I don't remember that person at all. Not really strange to believe that. Yeah, Look, I feel like so much crying has happened between now and then that I don't really recall. There's definitely times where it's like you see or you've got a single mate and he's like, oh, I'm just going to go home and see on couch for the rest of the day and you're like, fuck you, that would be so nice that

I think? The word miss? I think because you're still Yeah, you're still the same person. It's not like I look at photos of myself and I'm different in any kind of way. I think there's a level of confidence a when you become married and B when you become dad. You're kind of like you don't.

Have like life achievements, so you're sort of taking on board as a confidence builder one hundred percent, but.

You've got more important shit to worry about now.

Yeah, like I see mate squabbing over garbage, and I'm like, man, I got my own fucking problems. Don't come at me what std you've got. I'm not.

This is not good for my throat.

Hopefully I didn't dob any mates in there, but yeah, look I definitely miss you missed the free time, right fucking oh yeah?

Like the ability to just do anything at any point is great.

And like now the free time I have, it's either spent picking up fucking toys or cleaning up shit, whether it's on the fucking walls or smeared into the carpet. So yeah, it goes out saying you definitely missed that times. But you know there's so much more to look forward to as well. I have to say that because so this actually comes from a friend of mine who's a very big fan of the show. He's trying to get on the show. I think it's going to happen, Champ. No,

Excuse me, I just didn't. I didn't want to cough over you talking my fan then, and then have you have to repeat the sentence so shut the fuck up, little young man.

All right, So this.

Sorry question number three.

So this question comes from a friend of mine. He has asked, have you ever busted your kids stealing from the supermarket?

I think going to the supermarket, like going to a Coles of Woolies is just absolute hellos. Like there's been so many times there's a Woolies down the road for me and I'm like, I'm out of nappies or add of milk, and I've got the kids from daycare and I go, fuck, I forgot to go for the kids. I'll strap loller in. And so her arms are still free, and she's just grabbing anything, like grabbing apple, you know, a bottle of oil. She's like grabbing that anything she

Plays that's fine, that's free man, Yeah, right, who the hell pays her fruit?

Yeah? So she like, you know, sometimes there's a little basket of free food and normally it's like a loansome apple or banana, and sometimes Maley's like give us a plum, and I'm like, well, you know.

Give us one of those rich people's fruit.

Yeah, but I'm not like getting a mango and like cutting up a mango and give that to her. And I think like the odd toy at like a two dollars store, you know, like need the checkout, But I haven't. I don't think she's stolen.

Any lollipops for a good one on the way out, because they've got that stupid basket man you just ask him to be stolen totally. I've just taken one before.

But it's not like she's stolen anything that's.

Like over the band.

Yeah, it's not like she's gone to like a Michael Hill jeweler and.

Rinse the place somehow I got past the glass cabinet as No, I haven't. Actually, that's probably a good question to ask the listeners. Maybe I think maybe we could pick back up on that next week. Right in send us a DM S Maddie or myself or the two don't Dad's Instagram at DM if you've got any spicy or juicy stories about your children stealings of any age.

If you are a criminal, we want like the accidental stealings. We don't want people who are.

Like could do some good and dob some criminals in. Look, that's fine. I don't think stealing is a crime if it's accidental even so, okay, I think play on.

That's a bold statement.

My grandmother used to steal toys for me another child.

Is said grandmother still around or is she?

She?

Is she in fucking prison or where?

I won't disclose her location. But she was great at it. She just to take him out of the plastic thing and put the plastic thing back on the ship. There you go.

I'd love to hear a story of like a parent being at JP high Fie getting like a pair of headphones and then getting home and going, holy shit, the headphones are at the bottom of the pram and they got like a set of like beats by Dre so good. Something like that would be great.

I would yeah, stuff like that so definitely, And we'll pick back up on it next week for sure, because I think there's got to be some crackers out there. And if you're sitting there thinking, should I say my bad parents?

It's anonymous?

First of all, yes, you are a bad parent. Aren't we all bad parents in our own way? And don't withhold that story from us.

I have to say a couple of people, we obviously take this podcast very seriously. We made a little mistake, he said Annabel Carmen.

Calmel, Carmel Carmel. My wife even said that too, said that too.

She was like, damadol got a.

Drugging my children. Yeah, I was like, I can't know. Carmen's makes more sense, So maybe they should change the name. Idiots idiots.

So thank you for everyone who said we set it in correctly. Apology.

It's just a frozen me, so get over you.

At this point, we are going to wrap up the episode, but I do want to say Ash, I do want to say I have been absolutely blown away at how many people have been listening. We hoped it would be successful, and Ash and I were like addicts on the Pokeys and instead of like pulling that hand or we're just refreshing this page to see how many downloads we get, like it's.

We have nothing better to do.

We literally I watch it like a hawk, and every like ten or fifty listens and downline.

This unhealthy obsession of mine.

I absolutely love it. I love it. We've had some really beautiful messages come from people. Sure I'm surprised. Actually I had one lady said she listened to it.

At the gym, so does what she's doing.

I don't know, dude, could you? I couldn't imagine anything worse and trying to do squads to us in your whole shit, Yeah, like if you go over a walk.

But like it's a pleasant walking podcast.

Not judging any gym goers right now. If you are listening to some.

People get off on different things. Man, some people get pumped up by the oun of Maddie Jay's husky.

For has anyone has anyone come up to you Ash at this point, because I think this is the point where you know you've really made it. Has anyone come up to you and said, Ash, this is a stranger I really like the podcast. No, not yet, but that's like once that happens someone at the window driving past and your podcast is shit.

Thank you, thank you. That's a win. I'll take that. So yeah, wrap this episode up and review, a style rating, subscribe, tell your friends on.

Apple Podcasts you have to do a follow. Follow us please, we would love We would love that. Spread the word and yeah, give us a review, and oh, how's this for a tease. I'm not going to say who it is. But we have locked in our first dad to be interviewed for.

A bonus for a bonus episode I have done. It was a notable name in the Australian television scene. Let's leave it at that. I'm very excited actually, and we're going to his house yes, to record for that.

I think it'll be in the next seven days. Yeah, at least, let's not commit to anything just yet, but let's say I think within seven days. We'll tell you within like a couple of days. So it's going to be. But it's a great one.

It's a good one. It's going to be really fun.

So look forward to that. Until then, we thank.

You very much.

To see you next time.

To see you, guys.

Two Doting Dads podcast acknowledges the traditional custodians of country throughout Australia and the connections to land, sea and community. We pay our respects to the elders past and present and extend that respect to all Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples today. This episode was recorded on gaddagal Land