Today, Matt, we have a very special guest for Three Doting Dads.
It is Nick Cody.
He is a comedian recognized internationally. He's appeared on the Conan O'Brien show.
Yeah, he was. I think it was the fourth ever Australian to appear on the show, which is a huge feeder. Was a few years ago. And I fucking love Conan O'Brien.
I like his hair moves when he talks.
He is absolutely hilarious and he's a great bloke as well. If you're not familiar with his stuff, I highly recommend you check out his YouTube special. It's called Live at the Corner Hotel. Will put the link in the show notes as well and also put that up on Stories and Two Doting Dads Very funny.
Yes, he's also one of the hosts of the Morning Breakfast Show with Fifi, Fev and Nick.
And now he is a dad. If he wasn't, it would be awkward.
It would be weird. We just said three doting dads.
Married to his beautiful wife Lucia, he has two boys, they are five and two. And I just want to say, I know we mentioned it before. He's a comedian, but he is bloody.
Hilarious and he's lovely, lovely to have here, and we had a great old chat.
So enjoy.
Welcome back to three doting dads.
I am Maddie, Jay, I'm Ash and I'm Nick Curti.
This is a podcast that's all about parenting.
It's the good, the bad, and the relatable.
Now, for legal reasons, we do have to say that there is never any advice given on this podcast. However, this episode will be a little bit different because we have the pleasure of being joined by another dad who I would say, is it better dad than us?
They're all better than us, man, It's not hard. It's subjective though, isn't it.
Yeah, being a good dad.
It's a pleasure to have you here.
Thanks for having me.
Before I ask about your parenting, I do want to ask you something else on dad related. What's Conan O'Brien like?
Super friendly and a lot warmer than he had to be? Wow? Yeah, that's good.
How did that come about? So anyone who doesn't know you were the fourth ever Puzzy to be on his show? How did that come about?
I did the Edinburgh Fringe Festival in twenty fifteen twenty sixteen twenty seventeen. But in twenty sixteen, Booker JP came along to my show how Refringe Yeah, and then got the call up. That's a huge that's huge, Yeah, because Matt's a really big fan of Conan. It's the best.
I love.
I love watching back. I should have done. There were like five other bits I should have done. My spot was all right, could have been better, you.
Know, the hometown, the small town yeah, good gear.
Yeah, And I was still cop shit about that from people from small towns. But it's I actually love small town. It's like you make fun of the thing you love, You make one of the things like yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, liked small kids.
Anyone who's not familiar. Yeah, there's the reason why they're small town.
Ye. If small towns were good, they would have gotten bigger. That's really you know, yeah, exactly right.
Small town shut up, relaxed, soaked, and so we made fun of rural doctors ones.
Yeah, fucking hell. People were just.
Like there was like that were heroes.
Remember, they were just like we.
Called them vets. I think, yeah, that's it.
I told them they're just like vets.
You got to see you got to see a goat a child and a pig after it, and.
Those people are like, I might just give two doting dads one last try.
Town. I got heaps for that.
JP was the booker. Yeah, and so after the gig, did you just say, hey, let's.
Well night before the gig. You're in the dressing room and I had my manager there, my mate Max Price, who's a comedian who was living in LA at the time, and they were like, you can bring another person if you're And I'd been back and forth to the States over sort of three years leading up to that, and I thought, there's one bloke I'm going to invite because I see him every time I go, and each time I go the gigs have gotten better. And it was a bartender from a dive bar around Yeah, and so
it didn't perform. Yeah, it was from this shitty bar I used to go to. It's closed down now and every time i'd go to l A, I'd go to this bar shithole, and each time it turned up. He's like, holy ship Australian's back when this time and these time the gigs had gotten better. So that time I rolled in and went doing Conan on Tuesday. You want to come? He's like fucking yes, ringing the bells. I was sick.
Probably poor preparation for a large gig, but I went to the first La Rams game when they were back in La. The game, it was like thirty two degrees middle of the day. She did this before, Yeah, this game. So I flew with left Australia on a Sunday, arrived there Sunday morning, pick up my mate Max Price. Go to the football scorching sun middle of the day, just drinking beers. Oh my gosh, drunk sunburn issues with this crap sounds exactly like something. Yeah, yeah, red hot chili
beppers played it. Picked up the bartender told him we're doing Conan on Tuesdays and then before they get you get there a few hours before they film sort of four o'clock in the afternoon around there. And one of the other guests on that day was Marshall Lynch. I don't know if you're American football name. His nickname is beast Mode. So played for Seattle Seahawks and I want to say the Raiders for a little bit. But gun Gun football player and his touchdown running a playoff game Seattle.
The crowd got so loud that it registered on the Richter Scar run. He was on I Love American Football and played American football and Melbourne growing up. And I was chatting to him for a bit and then Conan came out and like, I just remember shirt, his shirt was on, no tie, slacks and he was in socks.
He wasn't in shoes yet. He's like Marshall and Marshallan turns around and he like pretends to throw a kick at him, and then Marshall AND's like fake fight, and I'm just sitting there like what the.
Do I John?
But it was just one of those it's just sitting anything. Yeah, just surreal, like what a weird.
Like the sequence of events, like just to be on Conan and then you're with like yeah, Marshall.
Yeah, I feel like all the late night show hosts all get a bad rap at the moment. Everyone's kind of everyone saying they're actually.
They're all credators.
Apparently the only one who everyone kind of says is.
For now.
I've got another sad story.
Yeah, bring him back down. And then Marshall when he had like two security guards with him, just like he's already a big unit. These guys were like six foot just huge launch, just showing nothing, and there was like a big catering table and the guys are walking around
having a look at the catering table. And then this giant who's just given no one anything for half an hour turns around and goes this motherfucker's got a cupcake mountain, and was like pumped up real life, it's just what is happening around the back.
Yeah, we had a chat yesterday and before this record, obviously, and one of the biggest surprises I think about you is maybe because you're like a quintessential Aussie bloke, you don't seem like someone who would have had a career as a nanny.
Oh yeah, we were shocked. I was not expecting your career is a stretcher. Was three four months in would have been.
You would have made a past probation period.
So yeah, career. I was eighteen and I got a job with a family who the husband and wife for actors for the Australian Shakespeare Company and they were going on tour and they had two boys who were ten and two at the time, and you were eighteen, right, Yeah, my girlfriend at the time, her friends are family friends or something, and they said Hey, Nick's having a gap
year after high school. Would he be interested in coming on tour around Australia with the Australian Shakespeare Company and looking after the boys.
Working anywhere at that time? Or we're going.
To look at yeah. Just my mum was a receptionist at a law firm in Melbourne for years, so i'd work in you were practicing law, Yeah, was practicing law. I was like, yeah, I'll love for an interview because I knew they were interviewing a few different people. But the boys, I think they had a female nanny and then they had their auntie or something look after him on the last two trips. So like an eighteen year old dude rolls in and the ten year old's like this fucking rules.
He just walked in with your testosteronie. Yeah, that's him.
Do you remember what they asked you for the interview?
Well? I remember I asked a ten year old. I was like, man, what do you what are you like? And he's like PlayStation and footy and I'm like sick, my boy, it's going to be And then the two year old they gave me like a trial day or he was about to turn two, maybe and they said he goes for a nap, but one wake up between two thirty and three, and so I'm like, yeah, no worries. And they leave to go and do rehearsals for the day. And it gets to like twelve thirty, quarter to one.
I remember the little kid. I'm like, hey, man, come on, it's time for a nap. He's like, nah, Mick, you always call me Mick, Mick. No, no nap, I need nap. I'm like, cool, brother, map had no idea.
Now that I've got two kids on my lying, you look back and then you go, oh man.
Because at like six o'clock they've come home at quarter past six and it's six o'clock. This kid has just gone just exploded, And I'm like, what has happened? What has happened? This kid was such a legend. Why is he melting? And then his parents come in and they're like, how was it? Okay? It was pretty good until fifteen minutes ago. I don't know what he had a good nap. They said that was the nap. But I'm like, dad didn't have one. He said he didn't need one.
They're like, he definitely needs he naps aside was it pretty easy overall, or was it a huge learning curve to be thrust into the world of eighteen.
Well, yeah, my dad told me to take the job so that it would show me how hard it is to have kids, and so I wouldn't ear you off immediately. I wouldn't do a big western suburbs of Melbourne thing, and that is get a chick pregnant when you're nineteen, and so he goes, that'll blast you through that side. Yeah, you're not going to want to he's pretty good.
Yeah. Did did it work?
Yeah, hundred percent. I didn't have a kid until I was thirty one. Life out of you Yeah, sick like I've got to travel see all these four parts of Australia. It was all through the Northern Territory and play PlayStation with the with the ten year old was like a road trip. It was in like a tour bus. Yeah.
Do you remember with any other I don't. I don't want to also like put you in the ship here, but without any of the mistakes that you made aside from the naps.
I remember one day, which I know it's bad at the time, but I now use it for my kids, and that was the little one. We're at a pool and maybe Darwin or Cans or something at the hotel. And he didn't have floaties on. And it was the kid's pool, but at the very far end of the kids pool it gets the normal size and he was just sitting there in the tiny bit of water. Fine, keep an eye on him. He's fine. He gets up, comes around and he said, jump in. I jump in
big pool. I wouldn't do it. Don't jump in the big pool. He's like, I'm big, I'm jumping in.
And then.
Underneath the counter. Three. Yeah. Now with my two boys occasionally they're like, I'm going to do this over all, right, have a crack to see what happened. That's actually good.
Yeah, my son is still in float He can swim, but he's still in floats for reassuring. And like he took him off and then he forgot that he'd taken him off and just ran and the.
Issue with floating, and we're all.
There's a kid at bottom of the pool. But he won't do it again. That's for sure. It is.
And then after that three month stint, you then carried on. You've extended your career of nannying. Knowledge of parenting, you've gone international.
Yeah, I was something who was scouted the top nannies from around the world. I was at UNI. I went to UNI for six months, so I did this is grim. So I was eighteen. I thought I was going to be an athlete. I was like, didn't we have decently? I still do, honestly. I think I'm six weeks after cancer.
That's why we all wear jerseys to the game, just in case they're like you, yeah, you're on.
You're like, I'm ready. I was eighteen. I got drunk one day and I watched Jerry Maguire and I was like, sick, job. If I can't be an athlete, sick I'll be a player agent and signed up to Bachelor of Business Sports Management, nice and then turned up. I was like, fucking, this is not fun. I did not like this at all.
But nothing like the movie.
Yeah. One of the teachers, she was a camp counselor at this summer camp in Oregon like ten years before or something, and they were looking for a few Aussies to go to be camp counselors there and like just love the States, always wanted to go, and she's would anyone be keen? I was like, oh, I used to be a nanny and I was working at a bar at the time, and yeah, I did all the interviews and everything got the all clear. It was just very clear.
You can earn eighty six cents an hour. It's something insane when they spread it over the amount of time you make, like twelve hundred at the time, it was twelve hundred US eight weeks.
Which sounds okay when when you're at a time.
When you, yeah, a nineteen year old kid, twelve hundred US dollars is like, well, I'm actually set for life when you convert that.
If you did it these days, it actually would be set for live, would you?
With the ship's bad.
I'm going to sound really naive here, but are the summer camps for naughty kids in America?
Or is it just no? So what I've learned is there seems to be two times. There's the summer camps where it's fucking Jack Nicholson's kid is coming in on a helicopter and if you tell a kid no, they're like, well I'll sue you. Yeah, Jack Nicholson. Yeah. And it's like, you know, is there're no iPhone charges in this fucking joint, you know, just on off, sound like my kids. But then there's the one I worked out, which is like an YMCA camp, and that was more middle class, lower class.
Occasionally you get some naughty kids in there, but I like it was awesome. It was the worst thing. You get him for a week. So you get him from Sunday midday until Saturday midday, so six full days. I was in charge of a cabin, so I'd have seven or eight kids in the cabin and each week you'd get a different age group and parents would drop their kids off. And yeah, so my son Steve is on he's on like eight different ritilants for different things and wow, yeah he's on a lot of meds AND's we don't
think it's great for him. So this week he's just not going to have any meds. Cool experiment, not to be a part of Yeah, yeah, oh my god, like Steve gets night, I really want to wean him off.
But anyway, we're just going to leave you with none of them, and we could go.
I did that actually actually happened.
Yeah, you'd get the odd kind of prep.
Do you get as a nineteen year old.
Just face it helps to like I think that sort of stuff helps you to be a parent one day. Just a fucking game face.
Yeah, if you're freaking out. If you're freaking out, the kids senses it. But if you're like, nothing worse. I've like sent a dad away from a park before because a kid fell off something and everyone went, You're like, hey, buddy, and this dad went oh, and then the kid locked under that, and I'm like, you got to go, man, Yeah.
Bring that fucking attitude to this. I remember bringing it's all down somewhere. I used to work this guy.
He was on the stairs with his kids and the kid fell down the stairs and I was like early twenties at this point, so I wasn't even and I was like, oh, he was like you get I was like, well, he was like this is all that reaction like that would have hurt.
Yeah, and like the kid was like no one else was reacting. Why don't my kids like that? Might just kick off?
Femurs sticking through this, Yeah, yeah, walk it off. Did they give you any advice or tips of how to discipline when you're working with those kids?
I was like the kids I got were fairly good, because I've been that nanny the year before just learned a few tricks. No means no, don't talk back, you know, And then you get I'm not above bashing a kid. Where I'm from, there was a lot of that back in Australia. But they talked, they got the crocodile. They got me to teach kayaking and archery because I was Australian and rugby and rugby. I'm like, guys, I'm from fucking Melbourne. Now I have no idea about any of
those things. But yeah, the kids were generally pretty I do remember one day an archery teaching the kids archery and there was a kid. Two kids just wouldn't shut up. And worse, a deer has come out of the wood and just come into the archery range. And I'm like, I will drop this deer. If your kids don't be got, I will shoot a deer. My camp name was beef Jerky. You get all that, you get special names, like a camp name for beef jerky. So it's just like ten
eight year olds like beef jerk. You don't know.
This is how they're not knowing what's going on.
No natural predators, just having a look. And I'm like, and then did you hear no, No, that's a everyone get it out of there. Yeah, that's smart.
And so after that stint, is that how your parent?
Now you're like, I will count this.
Come out of a neighbor's house, I've got a brick walking to the park with a bow and out? After that stint, were you thinking this could be an actual career for me now? Or was it the opposite and you're going, I don't want to fucking see another kid for a long long time.
Yeah, well it was heaps of fun. I never thought you'd get the odd overseas camp counselor who would return each year, but it's like quite a It takes a lot of work and energy just to get the visa, and you know, the US don't make it super easy. Yeah, at that point, I'd always wanted to try stand up, And then talking to some of the guys that I'm still mates with now, they're like, dude, you should, man, you've got over here to do this silly, just surely
you can do some gigs. So then when I got back home, I started doing open mics and straight away yeah pretty much. Wow.
Did you consider billing yourself as beef jerky or.
Is it always going to be Yeah, unfortunately coming to the stage is it's Jerky's killed or threatened. It's a real cool like eighties comedy name I Reckon. Yeah, that is a good Yeah. Yeah, def Jam presents.
You meet your now wife Lichi. Did you meet her working together at all?
Yeah? We worked on a TV show called Kinny, a sketch Troy Kinney. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I've seen some of it. Well, I haven't seen much of him lately. He's going he's on a big live to at the I can't.
Stand up because, yeah, I only really known through his videos and stuff.
This funny. I hope you don't find this embarrassing. I was telling my wife Letcher out doing this pod Maddy j Maddy j MA. Did she well, No, I haven't seen the bat. I did not know. I know you from this. He cries a lot in it. That's how I let me starts drumming on the k it's broken.
Yeah, yeah I was.
I didn't know. Apologies, that's very rood of it.
I knows a very personal He'll be like start crying.
No Rose, no, Rose. I've got a good screenshot of you, just like full cry. That's great.
I didn't.
That's what made some fall. Well, that's what you think.
So what was the scene? Moving along? Not to focus on the bachelor.
Anymore, although to traumatized whilst.
We hear MoMA Mire did vote me Jake, you're doing a scene with liuch here on the team.
Yes, she was just helping her friend out in the art department. So she's an actor and an ad but her mate just needed a hand on this job and she just joined as that. And then after it wrapped months later we went out there you go, was it love at first sight? Well, because I had a girlfriend at the time. Yeah, so she was the other girl. She was the other girl. Didn't happen at the time, good bloke, Just for the record, didn't happen or both at the same time.
It wasn't like madd he had twenty seven different women that he could get.
Didn't She didn't kill a deer?
Why I'm reading between the lines over here?
So many chicks here and they're recording it all. That's how I get you.
One question, I think it must be the most common question that we get from listeners is how did you know you were ready to start a family? For you and le Cheer how did that conversation take place?
Well, sheme on, big boy, I can I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, she yelled, filled me up.
A beautiful story.
I'm sorry it was she's she's super family oriented, so he really tight. She's got two younger sisters, big family events all the time. My family too, but not the same way that her family are. She always wanted kids. I never wanted care. I didn't want to get married. I had so much it's so many old cut that stand up, copy paste, copy paste. I used to have a heaps of stand up bits about never wanting to get married. Or she would laugh at Yeah, why is that?
Do you think I just didn't Well, at the time, I just didn't. I just didn't want to know. Yeah, I was yeah, now yeah. Then you meet someone here like I could see this happening, yeah yeah yeah. And then the unluckiest that we decided all right, let's have a kid. This is end of twenty seventeen. So I used to be on the road like seven eight, nine
months a year. I would always be away, and I was like, all right, we're going to try for cal try and be home or you know, you've got to oulating yes, Yes, that's an interesting time because we're going for a third and I know the tap of like this is a fun full around and I know the tap when it's the day is the day to give it your best. It's business. Yeah, I've been called out. I take it like I'm a soldier or something. Tag me in for me in Coachy boys, Ready for war.
The first pregnancy test, she took, no, baby, we're a bit flat, and I was like, like, I've never done this before, never had a pregnancy test, never seen the look on someone's face when it's a no go. Fuck. What should we do? I know, let's rescue a dog. We've rescued a dog that was a Staffy cross kelpy named YOU'MI just a lunatic dog, sweetest part but just insane.
And then together or did you just go straight.
Picked it together? But I wanted a pure bred Staffy. I love Staffi's actual actual Staffies, even though they're built, you know, stock and they look scary, but they're the softest stock. Yeah. Whereas my wife said, you're not having that. I don't like that look of a dog. She wanted something a bit sleeker, not that fat head. She's like she just thinks I wanted a staffy because I look like just around give us a pat. She said, let's
pick this one instead. It was a cross. We didn't know what the cross was until later, but it ended up being kelpy fucking crazy, insane. This stuff full of the strength of a staffy, with the energy of a Kelvy. It's just it's not necessary. Yeah, And then like a week later or something less, even another pregnancy tastes pregnant.
Fuck.
I went from no us responsibility ultimately you've got planned B and Plan A all in one.
Did you keep the rescue dog or what happened?
My first son was born towards the end of twenty eighteen. And then like a month or two later, my manager asked me about breakfast radio and like doing stand up, you go in and just do little bits on radio and promote shows and whatever. But this was for like a permanent spot on a breakfast show but in Brisbane. I was like, well, I live in Melbourne, not moving, love Brisie, but I'm not moving, and they said just
try it out. And when I had to try and it went it was fun, and they offered me the job and I was like, oh, I don't want to be locked in. At the time, Charlie was three months old and did not sleep through a night. There were nights where he's waking up every hour on the hour, fucking insanity. And I was like, I was used to going to bed at one, two, three in the morning, waking up whenever I want, do whatever I want. And
now it's like it's your real hard Yeah. Now it's like, hey, you know how you're not sleep well at three fifty? Do you want to get up and go?
You still do you still do a night radio because you're like, I mean other or night anyway.
Yeah, And even now, like I tell people, so that job, you'd have to be in there at four thirty going through stuff, have a meeting five till five thirty, You're on there five thirty till nine insane.
I would say it's one of I mean, I shouldn't say one off, because I'm sure there's a lot of jobs out there that are very, very tough. But it's hard in that it's very very early and you've got this little window where you're on you're on air, and you've got to be high quick sharp.
I've no good right, Like, it's a lot of coffee. Yeah, I'll be all right. Actually, you'd be no good.
That type of negativity.
How much sleep do you need tonight.
Consistently? I think my limit would be like six hours. Yeah, that's kind of back to back. But you can do you can do six anything lower than five as a one off. I'm struggling.
I'll do for it hours, three hours, whatever. It's not a competition, mate, yes it is. Everything is. Life is a competition, Matt. I won't sleep, Yeah, I won't sleep. That's what it takes. You go to bed at eight pm and wake up at eleven pm. Yeah, that's what I mean.
I'll do like eight till six, and then on the weekends, I'm like I'm in bet at like three am, and then I'm back up again at like six.
Yeah. It's rough. And you know the thing, it's like, if you have under five hours sleep, I think it's the equivalent of like four or five standard drinks. Yeah.
What if I've only had five hours sleep and four or five stands drinks?
So I can't slay each other out?
Yeah?
Is that that's what I other police and they're like, you're good fighting five week Yeah?
When you got this job, did lud cheer go amazing, this is great, you know, full time work. We've got a family now.
You don't have to travel as much. You think it would be that, but it's more. You've just got a kid that doesn't sleep, so everything is just like what Brisbane. Yeah, there's a dog gun just jumping in the backyard trying to kick possible. It's you think about it. Yeah, yeah, just it was too much. So generally for the Brisbane show, I'd go up a week a month, and then three weeks a month i'd be in Melbourne or on the
doing it from on the road or whatever. And twenty nineteen, all the touring and everything for the year is locked in in sort of August September, so it was before I got the job. So all these dates, all these things are all locked in, and I'm getting up at three point fifty and the kid doesn't sleep and there's a fucking mental dog. It was just the shittest to you know, how do you can't imagine? I just blew out. There's no sleep. Coffee, coffee, so many coffees, just in
survival mode. Yeah. And then at the end of twenty nineteen, I thought, you know what, I've got one year left on this contract. What I'm going to do is get COVID. The one thing no COVID was coming. I thought, what a great year. What I'll do I don't quit things, so I just won't drink. I won't drink for a year, just hard drugs. I'll see what I just math, just
injected and archery. So no booze, no booze for twenty twenty, which is the worst year to not Yeah yeah, yeah, yeah yeah, that was the best year for drinking, I shouted everyone else was having at home.
Did it help though? Was it making things more manageable?
All it does? I don't know. Are you given much more of a vibe of heaps and heaps of he said, yeah, yeah, yeah, monster.
Yeah, Ash's nickname. I'm you're pretty responsibe, pretty responsible. I've always have your blow out here and there couple of beers midweek.
He doesn't have a lot of body fat, so two or three beers and he's I never when he said he was also thirty six, I was fuck you.
To get out of your own house. But that's how you do it.
Had like an extended period of the booze.
Okay, like the longest I've done like three What did I do last year? I was like four days? Not bad, that's more than hard. Yeah, that's pretty good. I take that.
Pros and cons of being off the booze.
With kids specifically, Yeah, it's so everyone thinks it's like you must feel amazing all the time, but it's not. It's that you never feel shit, so you wake up the best bit of your energy. It's boring though, Yeah, I remember the whole year. That's probably the worst thing, which was actually all right. You wake up in the morning and your energy is the same as at midday, six pm, ten pm. You're just on this. That sounds terrible. Yeah, there's no doubt, there's no mood up. Yeah. Yeah, And
like this morning. So I'm in Sydney for two nights, and last night I knew this morning I've got to get up for radio. But I'm not sleeping at home with the kids. Got a gig at the comedy store, No, absolutely not. I was having boiler makers, beers and whiskey beer whiskey. Yeah, get up before thirty, just chare, We'll walk into the studio fresh. It's good, but there's no kids punching me in the head, it's fine, but the year off, it'small that. Your energy is just level.
How did you manage the sleep?
I don't really with.
Your first Yeah, because I was similar to and Matt's you my second one that would that would suck.
Yeah, because you think it's worked out. Yeah, there is something nice about having one that doesn't sleep the first time around. So when the second one rolls around, yeah, all right, and then it sleeps and yeah, all right, that makes you more annoyed to the first one. Me too.
My first he slept like forty minutes at a time around the clock for so long, and then the second one was a dream compared to that. She couldn't be as bad as that, So I think that was sort of like a bit of a say but when you got it the other way around, you we are so fucking good at this job parenting.
And then whole sense of confidence.
Yeah, yeah, shoot you down.
Did you guys try and get help with the sleep or was it something that they just you bub grew out of?
I still remember and my wife i't like me saying this, but we went to like a sleep I don't know, like a sleep class or something, but we're cooked like we haven't slept. Yeah, and the woman running this sleep class at some point has said something. And then there's a break and it's you got twenty minutes, go get a coffee or whatever. And as we're walking, my wife's like,
I'm not doing this. I don't like this lady. And it's like, are you sure you're just not really tired, and she said something, Yeah, the lady probably said something very reasonable, and my wife's like, hate her, hate everything she's about. We're out of here, she says. I get tangry, she gets angry, she gets like hungry angry. Yeah, but she is generally pretty good on not a lot of sleep. Whereas I get I get tangry, I get tired, angry
and angry. Yeah. Yeah, I just know when I'm told my wife sends me to bed now like a two year old. This it's all gone to ship and I'm quitting this. I've had enough for this. This is nonsense. And she's like, you go and have a nap. Now, I want to get your blanket. So we try to get help for the first one. The lady said something that my wife didn't agree with. We're out of there, and then just just kept going until how long until? Must have been a year in a bit. He wasn't
a great sleeper. Yeah, it feels like forever though. Yeah. I've got a photo of him when we were he must have been just under one, maybe just turned one, and we're on the Gold Coast like a little family holiday and he's had a rough night sleeping and read a cafe. The next morning he's sort of standing up on a chair and he looks eighty six. Yeah, he looks like you've just shrunk an old man down the eyes. And it was just.
Like he's just lived a really hard life.
He's seen a lot of things.
Yeah, you must have been scared shitless then to go number two when number one was just like crazy time in your life with a tricky.
Thing as well. Yeah, so well the second one, I always thought I'm not having one. I know. There was some article on ABC the other day about serial killers. No, it was more like, it turns out only children can be awesome, and most of them are all just can't share. Can't share it, cannot share any adult I know that's a single kid. You figure it out pretty quickly, you know, And it's actually fine, And I get if you're unable to have a second kid, I get it, get a
rescue dog, that's the same. But the people that can't have it, of course, that's brutal. Not talking about that, the people that just have one, and then actually, you know what's great about one? You can focus on them more. That'd be good for them in the long run. Just say you're weaker than the bill.
Yeah, you're not as strong as the rest of us.
And there we go.
When kid grows up, it's just like, it's going to think everything's about that.
Look. I honestly, after the trauma of the first one, I was genuinely didn't want another one.
Will just say to anyone listening who is a parent of one child, Hey, we love you, and we.
Love you as much as we love rural doctors. There's a rural doctor with one kid. Yeah, yeah, they're also event It was always going to be on the cards going in for the second one. It's like, well, I'm already in. Yeah, well the night of I.
Don't want to know anything about it's already in.
Oh those people, I don't know how far apart you, but kids both like a couple of years apart.
I think we're all pretty similar. We're eighteen months.
Yeah, like two and a years apart. But those people like, yeah, I've got a one year old and two months old. Your mum had five under seven.
She had three under three?
Whoa on them out Irish triplets?
Yeah, she was. She was a maniac. I couldn't think of anything.
Oh my god. When she told me that, I nearly fell over. I was like, fuck. But that was from a time where you could hit him, which does you know, Yeah, that's cheat codes. There was no social media back then. Maybe hitting kids or whatever. Let him do whatever.
I'm assuming though, it was a much easier run into having two kids, given that number one was so tricky work in life was chaotic, that number two was a lot more pleasant.
Well it was COVID in twenty twenty. We got an exemption in August or something to go up to Queensland because I was on Triple M in Brisbane and just that like to get out. It was like four months of lockdown in Melbourne and then get to Queensland. We had to do the two weeks of hotel quarantine with the two year old in the almost two years old, and my wife for the first kid was like no screens until they're too no screens. I don't agree, and we're doing, We're doing.
I'm going to pull you up there.
Two weeks hotel quarantine, like stuck in a hotel room, no screen, no screens. Oh my god, those screens that would have been we did it? Yeah, holy what did you do? Just lock it in there. The second kid, the second kid six months and I think could use a remote, both my kids swiping away d MS at six months he's on my phone.
Trying to I'm getting important text messages't yeah.
But got to go to Brisbane. Everything's open, everything's good to go. And then yeah, fell pregnant in Brisbane. So they came home with a little queens lay there in there beautiful.
Don't say that he's a queen's yeah, right, okay, so is your second a girl?
So two boys? Me crazy, Yeah, and it's a bit of fun. And the two year old he turned to a couple of months ago. But when he turned to he was eighteen kilos. Like, he's a good he's a unit. You want to just staffy. And it's like my five year old is the like sweetest, so smart, very artistic. He just loves drawing and painting, and du gymnastics, and the two year old is a fucking legy, like just coming past dick punch there.
Wow, this might be a dumb question, yeah, but I'll ask it anyway. I've got two girls, so we've actually, other than a fringe haircut, which was a home job, we've never gotten haircuts. How's that process for two boys?
The two year old's got big curly hair, like blonde curly hair like iust have when I was like mine was like white, this white curly thing. He's got very similar head of me. And then the five year old's got this straight almost looks a bit like grub, you know, just straight, but it's got color through it like chicks and pay hundreds of dollars to get the Yeah, all my wife friends look at the beauty.
It's actually taking him down to the salon.
They don't have to get their hair cut that often because I got longish.
Obviously, Mason hasn't a haircut, she's so young. But Oscar couldn't stand it, the feel of the hair on him, oh cutting him, so I just like has had to pin him down and shave his head because he was just.
Did you look like owned? It was like you know sheep.
Yeah, you know when you used to have to give them a COVID test and you'd.
Be like, oh yeah, it was like that.
It's like trying to like and I'm just like shaving his head, but yeah, nightmare.
Ye mind. I sort of sell anything I know if I know they're not going to enjoy it. So the my eldest, when he was younger and he had to get needles for the first time, my wife would make me take him in. So it's like he's equating these needles. Yeah, dad, I did it right. But when he got old enough, I said, man, when the needle goes in, I said, it's going to hurt unless you say, gone get. You say that, they'll laugh, it won't hurt. He's like, all right, daddy. He's like two in a bit and he's got the
sleeve rolled up and he's looking. I'm like, yeah, man, you've got to do it, and shine gone get. She loses it and I'm like, did it hurt? He's like so now every time, but I'd forgotten. So the next time I'm taking him along to get you, I had just completely forgotten and sit down and the needle comes out. He's like don't get him now, that's his megan. I just try and give him a thing, like with a haircut.
I was like, dude, you get to go to a barber, right, dad has to sit in the chair, I'll be honest, like a loser. I got to sit in a chair like a loser. When you go to the barber. Because you're so young and your hair is so cool, they're going to put a skateboard deck out over the chair, so you get to like almost skateboard. We'll get your haircut, which is I think the cool anyone's ever got to do. So it was one of the things I learned when nanny and it's like, if something's going to be ship,
just sell it. You've just got to sell threatening my kids and you're just like, oh no, yeah, sell me this pan when they don't listen to the cell this threats. Oh yeah, yeah, I'm selling your threatening.
You would have been a great agent, a sports agent.
You would have Yeah. Yeah, it's really selling it. Those busted acls come back stronger, broken bones, stronger bones. Yeah. I've got to get this guy. He's thirty eight prime.
He's wearing his jersey to all the games.
One of the.
Biggest pain points I think with young kids is holidays. Now you've done something which I think is on like borderline, like lunacy. You've taken a weak road trip with both your boys. What was it thinking behind?
So my wife went with her mum and sisters to Greece in the middle of last year for a couple of weeks. There was like a terrible thing happened in the family, so they wanted to get away. And I was like, you should all go and do that. That's brilliant, go and do that. And she said, well, the two weeks is the two weeks you're off radio, so it's going to be your whole holidays with the one hundred percent. That's fine, whatever, And then she asked me, what are
you going to do while I'm gone? And I said, I'm going to take them on a road trip around Victoria's screen, I reckon, yeah, she doesn't know that it was screens I put on Lonely Planet. She comes back, they're like twelve apostles boys, heaps of icy poles if you remember, five places. And I said, yeah, I'm going to take them on a road trip and she said why would you do that? And I said, well, I want to see if I can worst. Camp's the worst you come home. Yeah, they don't know the itinery. I
don't know what I've got planned trips. Yeah, the driveway. So we went to Phillip Island for two nights, then Hillsville and we went to the zoo for a day. Then we went to Mansfield which is at the bottom of Mount Buller for a night, and then we went up Mount Buller and stayed up on Mount Buller for a night because it was snow seas and then came back. So it was like five days or something away. I'll be honest. One of the reasons why I did it.
I knew if I could pull it off, the like dad credit, Oh, it's high, like in circles, I'm fucking up her friend's husbands.
Yeah, if you know what I mean, if Matt did that, be like, why can't you fucking do that?
Yeah, it's like to a group of mountaineers going to summon at Everest. Yeah, what the fuck are you guys doing?
Yeah in the Yangsoka dickheads, get up, get up, have a go. So I knew it was going to be fun a road trip. It's not. I don't have to fly with them. I don't have to deal with that. We're all in the car. We're still within a few hours of home at any point. They're strapped in, do a bunch of activities in the morning, drive over nap time or whatever to get to the next place, and then set up. And it was genuinely like one of
the funnest weeks. I still remember in philip By that heaps of stuff was booked out because it was Holidays. Booked this motel. So normally when we go away, we'll stay in a like a mantra or something, you know, like a two bedroom apartment, you know. But we hadn't stayed in a motel before. And we walk in and my five year old for at the time almost five, he's like, what, Dad, have a look at this. There's a TV on top of a fridge and the kettles
next to it. This room. This is crazy. I was like, man, this room rules, and he's like, I can I draw it? I'm like, man, sit there drawing. It's like I can watch Bluey in bed and you can make a cup of tea beautiful.
The house.
Can we get back, yeah, because a beer out of the TV. He loved it. My youngest to turn two a week or so later. He was fairly good. Occasionally would just get at Phillip Island. There's a huge maze and we wanted to get to all the checkpoints. But you know, we're three of five flags in and the eldest wants to quit. I was like, man, finish two more. You feel like a champion. We could go home now and you'll remember being a bit of a loser. We gave up. Are we going to give up? I don't
want to give up. All I wanted to do was just go get a beer. But I was like, let's get the last two. But I had to carry the eighteen kilo last come boys, let's go carry for a bit. Yeah, just cooked, everything's cooked. But the tough one was the snow. Taking two kids to the snow. I'd never been to the snow. I'd never driven up to the snow by
Myself's a recipe for disasters. Yeah, the room was two hundred meters from the car, but in a blizzard, going down a hill with an eighteen kilo kid and a thing and a suitcase and a fact.
That was the snow adds a layer of complexity. That, yeah, it's not needed.
I literally went to the shop and it was drizzling and got macie other car and walked from the car park to the open and she was just.
Like, I can't imagine her in the snow. We went to boggling, so you just sit on a tobog. The oldest could go by himself, so he'd go down, and then I'd go down with the youngest. And the problem is, though you go down together, but you've got to use your feet as breaks, and when you slam your feet into the snow, snow kicks up, but it gets you a chest level. But it was just fucking cover. And he was just like throwing punches at at snow, trying it. And then when the fiver I wanted to do one
more run on the tobomo. He'd done about ten of them. He had a blind he was loving it. And of course it's like one more dad, And I'd heard so many dads tell me that if there's ever going to be a mistake, one more fangs down this mountain. Then just decides to go ninety degrees to the left through this mesh sort of fence that hit him there, so it looks like his head's come off smashed into the snow.
But I'm up top I can hear him. You go, go, bud, you're right right mate, right, I'm like, he's not all right. It's got my pleasure. I've got to do a head injury assessment on him. This is in the eyes, just lay out. I don't move elevated. But he had to carry his toboggan back up after acting himself because I couldn't get down with the mate. Let's to boggle down, get Charlie. We've got to help him out. And as soon as I'd sit the young bloke on these like no, no, no, no, no,
I know what happens. Shit, the snow was just like twenty four hour. He's got great memories to favor of, like playing in the snow, throwing snowballs to bolganing. But that's twenty minutes of that twenty four hours. Just fuck it goes so sly. Yeah, definitely needed another pair of hands.
But is there another trip on the cards after this one? Like we step it up a notch.
Well, yeah, I think I'll have to do it again. We might come up to Sydney. Actually, did you get your dad credit? First of all, oh so much, my wife, I'm giving it to you. Just admit, she kept saying, just admit it was hard. Soon it was really easy. Oh no, I.
Like Max in a wheelchair.
We spoke yesterday after you said I took the kids away on my own and we both went fuck that. So you've got one up on us as visual.
Yeah. If you think it's going to be a normal holiday now with kids, you're not you used to have.
I'm so frustrated at the airport and all sorts of things like now that I used to be like, oh, we grab the bag. Now I'm like, get the bag, get to the higher car.
One of one of the best bits. I don't know how your wives pack, but three months before and everything that, everything, the kitchen sinks in them. They're first drawing a fucking old passport. What's going on? And we have to bring a suitcase full of nappies. It's like we went down to the Gold Coasts they sell them there. What the fuck are we doing? We went to Balley and my wife's.
Like, why do you have so many suitcases? And she's like, we'll go to have all the nappies. I was like, first of all, they sell nappies there. She's like, they're not going to be the same, and I was like, they are going to be the same. Like you understand that tourists go there all the time, right, yeah.
And I was like, oh, do you know what we should do?
We should putting in my board bag just to protect the surfboards.
Smart that's that's a dad brain.
And I was like, sweet, let's do that. Save us a whole nother suitcase. Anyway, the surfboard didn't turn up.
Oh, and she was like, I told you this would happen. And I was like, look, we'll go to the shop lo and behold, guess what.
They've got their fucking nappy and they got a whole wall of them and.
She was like oh. I was like, oh my gosh. So that was one of the best bits was because I've the most frustrated I've ever been. I reckon is my wife saying, hey, don't worry, I've got myself and the boys covered. You just pack whatever you need. So she'll pack it all and then you go, hey, you go put it in the car. And I'm like, this is like tetrist, that's fucking my spine. The concept of space is not know what, you expected me to try and fire around here, find a way it gets done.
But I'm always frustrated. So the fact that I got to pack it's like minimal. Take one pair of shorts. Yeah, one shirt, Dad, I want to jump in the mud. Well you got no other clothes.
I thought you were going to say that we're going to try and walk across another boards like, Dad, come, I need the credit.
It was funny. Yeah, it was just great. I don't know. It was like little weird bits of it were fun. Like we're driving through like the Dandi in I'm standing Victoria and I want can we get some fruit? I was like, yeah, for sure, I've reckoned. There's places around here itself, there'd be little farms and packed it. But we're hunter gatherers. When are these pretty prepared. Let's go and get it ourselves. But you know, like we're driving through and he's like, Dad, look at this sign. It
was just a massive painted apple. I'm like, yeah, man, let's go in there. And it happened to be an org that that had heaps then you know, just those things they remember, like two massive bags of apples. Yeah, kids are like this is this is crazy to see that big apple. Yeah, sh they forget the snow. Yeah you don't remember a big bag of apples? Yeah, absolutely, But in like three years time, they'll be like that
big bag was. Like friends of my wife took their kids on like an eight month caravanning trip or something like so long, and then when they got back and asked the kids, what was your favorite part? And I'm like, dad, remember that caravan park when the Pooh truck came and pumped all the pool out of the like we could have just gone.
Yeah, before we go. I do want to ask. Maybe there's there's no answer to this question, but I'll try my luck anyway. Is there any advice, like one particular saying that you would say could help any potential mums or dads out there who are expecting their first child.
You go on as many dates as possible. Now, okay, I'm not This isn't even a tip for when the kid comes, because you don't know what you're going to get. That's the you know, you had a great sleeper ship sleeper. You don't know what's coming, but you can control what you do up until the baby comes. Very true, hopefully, and that would be just heaps of date nights suck a lot. We were that's what he's getting out. I reckon.
We saw so many move like we were seeing the shittest movie, Like we just got through every every movie. We were just watching ship because we're like soon we won't be able to do now. People are like, have you seen I'm like, no, I don't know.
I've seen the insides of my eyelids and that's about it.
I haven't seen anything. It is just get here first, sex a lot. I did.
You were going to say, go on, gett now.
Yeah, Hey, moms to be when you're pushing it out, it's not gonna hurt if you are gone.
Absolute ye.
Thank you very much for having me. Really appreciate it. Love your bloke's work.
If you've enjoyed this episode, we would love it if you would share with a friend anyone out there who may benefit from having three dads, one of whom knows what they're doing the rest don't. Also, if you would give us a review subscribe, we would also love that more than anything. I don't want to beg again. A comment of.
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We beg for it.
We'll see you guys next Wednesday.
Nick, thanks again, thanks again, appreciate it.
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This episode was recorded on Gadigle Land