The World's Best New Years Resolution List

You know what I've noticed about Warrywood.

You say worry would funny?

Actually, you know what I realized I said funny the other.

Day, warry would you say worry? Would worry? Would? That's better? Like worry? What everyone here is worrying? We're worried. We're worried about the future, worried about the cost of living.

You have quite loud cicadas cigarda, yeah, fucking aggressive. Like what's the size of a cicada around here? I saw a guy walking a dog and I was like, is.

That a dog? They're abnormally big. I've got a bunch of its funny. I've got a bunch of shells.

Oscar collected a bunch of shells with my parents when they were here, and I put them in a container because I didn't want them around the house because they attracted something else.

And I put him outside in the container and I.

Forgot, and every now and then I see a bird hit the container.

And now I'm like, I like this.

Welcome back to two doting dads. My name happens to be.

Mattie Jay and I'm Ash.

And this is a podcast that is all about parenting.

It's the good, the bad and the relatable.

And now look, if you've come wanting any type of advice, this is not, and I repeat, not the podcast for you. We are two men who have little to no idea about anything.

Like parenting the way you went about editing. But if you like to giggle, we will do We can help you do that. It's I'm sweating already. Yeah, why, I'm just worried with baby swamp the swamp. This is lovely. I'm comfortable. I'm like, I'm just a human generator. Do you run hot? Normally? I run hot? Baby? Okay? Well, yeah, you know what will cool you down?

I was smooth just like this. Cheers, cheers, And if you've heard that, cheers.

It is a cheese of a stone and wood pacific ale. You know what it tastes like.

Beer reminds me of something ash I can't quite.

Am I going to beat you to it? No? Is that could be a bit of Byron read each other's bone. You know. I like a holiday to BARRONA Yes, very refreshing.

The town, not the name, both the beer and the town very refreshing. So we are drinking a pacific ale, which comes from stone and wood.

Our partners and it's inspired by the Pacific Ocean. Okay.

You know, I've always wondered when when I drink this, I'm like, it's got quite a nice.

Little fruity kick to it.

It's a taste that is synonymous that's the right word. Probably not, but I'll go with it with a Pacific ale. And I've always wanted to Ash, how do they get that the fruit flavors in there?

Well, it's all Australian bali and of course galaxy hops from Tasmania giving it.

So what kind of hotsical galaxy?

I was hoping it was going to be like they actually saw that from the Milky Way.

Trying to solar system.

That's what it gets to tropical fruit aromas and flavors and white is so refreshing.

Well, the ash, that makes a lot of sense to why they call it fire and bay in a bottle Absolutely Okay.

If you want to pick up your refreshing Pacific owl, get it from your local bottle shop, pub or bar. Again, cheers my friend, and thank you Stone and Wood for being such good friends of the show.

Hey, Ash, before we get into the episode, we have a very important announcement to make.

Ah, Yes, we do. We had a.

Competition for a year's worth of stone and wood.

One lucky punter out there. Do you want to do the honors? You do the honors? All right, Well, so the winner drum roll please, Matte Love have you drawned this out? Here we go? The winner is Taylor Hosmond. Well done. We'll be in touch to organize said twelve case Sally.

We will not be delivering that ourselves.

That will come via freak Matthew. The other day, I was going for a leisurely run. We like to run on this podcast, but can I just I can't talk about it.

I just want to say you were doing an amazing job so far. Thank you with your running ten k every day. I had a rest day yesterday because you deserve.

I'm in my thirties. I know where to take your rest day, and it's the day that I don't want to run.

Just for the people listening right now. How many k's have you done this month?

One hundred and fifty five five more to go today. That's amazing just to get through. Yes, look, I.

Don't want turn this into a running podcast, so we'll forget about that.

I was running.

I was running along the main road here, Pittwater Road, terrible potholes everywhere.

I was running. Was six thirty in the morning, maybe six dish. Great time to run.

And there's a homeless guy who lives in the not in the bus shelter, like the car park or the bus stop. Okay, see running up to this running, I'm running past this homeless person where they usually are.

Do you normally give them a nod? Do you say? No? No?

No?

I never really seen them other than in their little north Anyway, he spotted me running.

He's come after me.

He's pointed at me, and he's come after me profanities. And I'm like, thankfully across the road from a main road and there's trady traffic coming past. He's in the middle of the road like yelling profanities.

At me, like fucking there's some fucking that. I just gave him the finger and kept running and I was like, that's such a weird interaction to have with someone. I carried on my merry way with the run and I got.

Home and I was like, hmm, seems strange. So I text our friend at the cafe and I said, can you send me a current photo of mister Freese? It was mister Free.

You come face to face with the man himself. Do you think he's been listening and he thought this, this is the guy that's dragging my name through the mud.

I don't know, but.

I was like, I done himself any favors has he No?

I was like, it would be so good if this was. And it turns out the last update we had they were selling the house. That was last year, so it's been they had the open house. He also got taser locked up for trying to shoot the police with the bell.

Now right, so now he's obviously he's homeless, which let's hope for his sake that he turns us around.

This is fucking Did he have a samurai.

S No, they've obviously taken his weapons from him. Doesn't have the luxuries.

He's got a lovely willly strolley and a lovely deck chair.

You're quite lucky you could have been. Imagine if you were on the side of mister.

Free, I would outrun that motherfucker. No, but he would have that meth strength and that myth speed.

Yeah, you can't. They don't stop at anything. I think not even a lion could take them down. It would take like three lines. You're strong, but.

Maybe they're onto something.

What do you mean maybe we need to take the rest of society needs to take more math. We'd all be really strong from incoherent though from next week? Any friends of the show anyway? So yeah, I'll keep your posters.

I thought I might go change your route. Do you think I ran back past her the other day and he wasn't looking and I snuck past.

So you're not going to let this interfere with your running route? Nah, dude, don't don't get attacked.

That's all right. It'll be a great story if I do, so, it will be get attacked. I'm on it.

Also, Matthew, last week we spoke a lot about Chris, but we didn't really speak about New Years. Yes, so, I mean I haven't really asked you about your New Year's You definitely haven't asked me about mine.

Really, I know. It was like maybe in passing. Look, I'll be pretty honest with you.

We didn't do a whole lot. We had a couple of friends around at our place. They all had kids.

We hosted another event after Christmas. We went the.

Double the double whammy. We did Christmas. We did, but we only had. It was two other families. They each had two kids. My mum was also still with us, as in living with us. She wasn't you know not in reference to her being dead.

Yes, she is still alive. She's kicking.

It was very chilled, very chilled. We saw the nine o'clock fireworks.

With the kids. Nine o'clock. The kids were up till. Yeah.

I've got a solution for that. And that's why I bring this up because I was similar. We had a really chill one with some friends. I was sober, believe it or not. I just need a little break. I thought that was a good I thought I would drink and feel proud of myself next morning.

Did you feel proud? No? Anyway. So I've got a solution for a good hack. So we had the kids.

We left our friend's place at like a seven thirty with the promise of them being able to see some fireworks on the TV show.

Now, what do you do when the fireworks are at nine o'clock but you want kids to bet at an appropriate time? I don't know. Well, you go to YouTube, my friend.

Ah, and you search twenty twenty two Sydney fireworks and you watch.

The eleven minute version of that and send them off to bed. I've heard about this, I have had I've not done.

We should have done it, because once they get past like quarter to nine, they then get this weird second win and they just they go loopy, overtired. Yeah, so did they straight to sleep? We're all in bit a date thirty and did they realize no idea? I said, good news is we're going to get to rewatch it tomorrow.

And we did and did they like it? I was just like me at the end. I don't mind, but I was just happy to not have them up.

It's one of those things that it's good on paper, like it's nice to go.

You know.

We were all up at nine o'clock and we watched the fireworks together. But it's just it's not the saying goes the juices are worth the squeeze.

Very true. Ash.

What we used to do as kids at my grandmother's house for New Years is we used to walk up and down the street hitting pots and pants. I don't know what the significance of that was, but I do remember doing it and was like, that's what we do. That's what people do, literally pots and pans, And I mean.

Is it everyone on the street would do it or just the kids? It just seems to be asked. Another weird thing from our childhood.

I heard of that tradition. Well, it's just Christmas trees, absolutely.

Not pots and pants. We're all for it. But also when New.

Years comes through as solutions, and this is another quick thing I just want to go through because this is meant to be a parenting podcast, but I often find myself writing notes when I am incoherent in the middle of the night and forgetting and then finding them again. So I've found some new resolutions that I've wanted to take on before.

New Year's actually happened.

It must have been a week or two before New Year's I'm not sure when it was. But it's nothing groundbreaking. I'm not a groundbreaking man.

I think you're selling yourself short here. Maybe one of people ask me, what's ash like.

The one word that always phrase that always comes to mind is.

Jerk, groundbreaking, doubt.

These these are just things that I just want to do better this year. First one, wash my hands more often than not.

I don't know what it is about. I think once you get to your mid thirties, washing your hands is just.

A bit more of a non priority. Yeah, but it's like, why did I have to say more often than not, just wash your hands more.

Bro Well, maybe the ratio right now is favorite.

I wanted washing. Yeah, okay, tighten up the ratios.

Obviously, if you're going to do dinner, you wash your hands. What about if you're doing a piss do you wash your hands out?

I feel like I do it enough. I'm not perfect. You're a very hygienic guy. Thank you.

I'm not perfect. I'm sweating over here. New Year's resolution number two. I've got fully wipe my butt every time, but dash all year?

Is there a certain period a certain period of year? I don't. You're like, March, March of mine. I need a break, I'll document it.

Can I ask actually on that because you have I think you sent me a message I can't remember. I did see you and you're like, do people really wipe their ass clean?

Every time? Do they? Yeah? Okay, I just on you don't. I don't know. I'm not admitting that.

I mean sometimes you do get to the fifth wipe and it's not the brownness isn't getting any like lighter. It's just a consistent and you're like, I don't know where this poo's coming from. Is it just.

Seeping out of me? Like one of those Plato's squish.

And sometimes you get to like the fifth, sixth wipe, and you're like, I don't have time for this. I've got places to be, people to see.

What do you do? Then you just just get just be itchy for the rest of the day and you go.

You know, I'll have a shower when I come home.

I'm on board. I'm with you on that one. I do well.

I mean, can I ask the question on average how often would you wipe to be clean?

I don't know? On the spot, I'd like to say I try every time, but I don't know. I don't fully know anyway. Next one, let's move on from that one. Chat more in elevators. I don't know.

I'd have no idea, no need for this is such a millennial one. Answer my phone when it rings?

You you hate a phone call?

And this is it gets a little bit weird.

Here gets eat from the earth and then he brackets has got not plants?

What what do you no idea? Just next one? What do you want to bark or all?

This one is just empathy and then he brackets says pretend and last one it just says gene shorts.

Yeah, great, well we've we've ticked that one off. We'll tick that one off. You do like a bit of empathy at time.

Anyway, I think they're all very worthwhile goals for the year. I think you've done a great list, particularly the ass wiping one.

Yeah. Yeah, I thought that was a complete waste of time, that that list. And I was like, we'll just share with Matt, see what do you think. When did you write that that? I don't know. I've just got when it's edited last and that was when I found it. Great.

I've got nothing, actually, I could my only kind of resolution so far. I am an horrendous swimmer. I'm a terrible swimmer. I've never never swum. Always always struggled. And at the moment we're doing a bit of a competition seven hundred and fifty meters and for the first time ever I did seven hundred and fifty meters without like stopping and dying.

Wow, that's a lot. I can't do it. It's so boring, so boring, so wet, it's and I started getting water in my ear. Oh. Did it come out.

So it's come good today. Yesterday we were together and I.

Just had this like not in that way, but yeah, I.

Left ear I was like in this bubble and it happens every time, like so that was my goal to do a bit more swimming.

So you can have to be one of those old dudes. That blue tax there.

That's I'm literally like, I'm getting like the ear wax mold.

That's it. That's what that's all I've got.

You know you get when you got ear wax mold that rhymed. Go ahead, you know you're getting old when you get an ear wax mole.

All right, anyway, how are you? Anyway?

How do you think I am? You look good as this will come as no major surprise to you, Ash, but we have some sick individuals in.

Our household, ends, does it.

Laura's been this is going on two weeks now that she's been onwell, and I was giving her a lot of sympathy to begin with, but then by the second week, get over it, Like, come on, surely, by now you're starting to.

Feel a little bit better. Milk in this one, surely.

And she does get a little bit of bad asthma at times. The first week was a flu, not COVID, Pretty sure it was COVID though. Second week just this cough. Dude, this cough just wasn't going anywhere.

Can we get an example of.

It's like a cat, That's that's what it sounds like, NonStop. And look she's unwell, but I'm like, I'm trying to watch TV.

Shut up.

The worst that it got, the worst that it got ash was an asthma attack. That shit resulted in Laura vomiting.

She coughed so hard that it refluxed.

And yeah, and it was We had pizza with solami and capsicum very It was lovely.

It was really good. How long after that was it re edible? Only like once or twice?

I think in like the nine years that we've been together, have I ever had to like be in the same room as Laura vomiting? And it's quite What do you do in that situation? Like you you're very helpless. You can't offer much.

Powder on the back stage, Okay, don't that's it. I mean, I've got a glass of water. You better just getting the hell out of there or going.

I hung around. I was in the bathroom with her. What happened was she was coughing in the sink, and then in the sink a plug.

Is like, yeah, the metal thing, Yeah, it's like down.

It's like a circle, and then a circle, then a circle says a little like.

You can't screw that? Can you show you? I've gone upstairs. I'll do it. We'll do it a little demonstrated because.

There's a there's a tiny little lip where the water comes through, but that I got blocked up with the caps and the salami and like the pizza dough. And so Laura was then vomiting in the toilet behind me, and I always trying to then clean up all the vomit from the sink. And I was like, this is lovely.

This is marriage, mane, this is this sickness and hell married live.

But I wish I wish you could do more when someone's vomiting.

I don't. I wish I could do less and away from where it's ating. Empathy, pretend, pretend, I mean, I wish I could do more.

Ve that in there.

But how she now, how's she going now? Mate?

She ended up and she is she is okay, She's on the end. She ended up going in the hospital just because she.

Was very out of breath.

They think she has mild pneumonia.

Do you get that from just lack of movement? Look, I always associated with being really cold, like cold assignment.

I thought it was like if you're hiking in there, but.

A lot of like old people. Yes, in tropical areas as well. I feel like pneumonia.

I feel like if you're over seventy and you're living in Queensland, pneumonia's going to get young.

Be w. Yeah, the warning to all of you out there, be on to all of you.

Yep, Like you hear a lot of times where like someone breaks their leg ends up in hospital, does at pnemonia and.

The like where's the pnemonia come from? Pneumonia is just that it's lurking.

It's lurking, following you around like a shadow for your whole life.

I'm sure it's in here somewhere.

Pneumonia. Yes, I can smell you. I have managed to. I don't think it's contagious, bro, it is that okay.

So here's my question for you though, ash Okay, when your partner is sick, is it okay to sleep in a separate room slash bed?

Yeah? Okay, great, because I've moved out. You've moved out. I've moved the summer house. I moved to the poolhouse.

I moved downstairs in the cellar. We have a little like sofa, a little room downstairs. Oh yes, yes, another one, and I've made that into a bed batchpas.

Yeah. Boy. And the first night was hard. So should we change your postal address? Yeah?

Yeah, twenty yeah, I give it away just a at the end of the night.

It was a bit tough. At first.

Night one felt very you know, felt strange.

Because how good is rest? Though?

So I woke up after night one and I was like, this is pretty nice.

I've had like a divorce papers in the mouth to my neighbor who is Laura.

I've had a full seven and a half hours uninterrupted.

Is amazing.

So night too, I was like, hey, well I better stay downstairs just because you still got the cough.

I don't want to getting away.

And so night three, I'm like this is now, I've got like my clothes downstairs and downstairs through.

You're just carrying the TV.

In your one bedroom U the front and it's like you only get your kids once a fortnight and go one of those sad little single dad beds for them in the corner where they share it.

And Laura's like, I think I'm getting well enough for you to come back into the bed, and yeah, I don't.

Know, Laura.

I better have a few more nights just in case. So it's been real nice, it's been lovely.

Laura has other husband's out there going see I told you, I told you it was fine. I don't want to catch the MOONI bro.

It's like you're going to sublet your room out your house out downstairs.

That's great. Well, so Cloud's on them end.

Also, we need to have a bit of a housewarming for you and your batchpad before she completely on the man.

I'm thinking Sunday Sunday because the Sunday's Laura's got the kids on Sundays.

I don't know what.

The other thing that's happened, just quickly ash to make things more difficult than what they already are. Parenting kids is hard enough.

I always say it sucks. You know what makes me even harder? I mean, I love it. There he is.

You know what makes parenting even harder?

It's been a single dat mosquitoes.

Oh yes, yep, do they like you, not kids. I'm talking about mosquitoes. Do the mosquitoes like you in particular?

Not me? I'm fine. I take it as the biggest compliment ever. Yeah, it's a mosquito.

How much do you have that as like you were that with pride?

It's like an It's like you can't fucking touch me. They don't like my blood. Yeah, not sweet enough. I must taste like ship, you know.

And I'm happy mosquitoes alarm drunk that.

Stuff definitely better not drive or fly.

So you call Warrywood worry would worry Wood because I'm worrying. You could worry with the swamp. But actually, Bondai after this rain.

I don't think.

Just so that the Bondi City Council doesn't hear you, you're not allowed to refer to bond as a swamp because the rich will come after you.

Well at the moment, just heaps. There is nothing but mosquitoes.

It's about time that you guys got something that wasn't just quite so savor.

I'm like three houses down from a sewage plant.

It's not a nice way to talk about Carson's house anyway.

Can I just show you a little bit shit?

Yeah?

Oh, my god, she's been she's been ganted away from me.

Hang, oh my god, look at her arms. Do leaven the doors open? Man, Oh my god, that's a bed bug. No, it's not the mosquito. Mosquito, it would be so good that you got bed bugs, not for me.

So she no one else in the house is getting bitten. And then all of a sudden, Lola wakes up and she's got like thirty mosquitoes.

She the only one. Marley a little bit, but Low they're still in the same room.

They're in the same room. She just gets rid and they all turn.

Into wells right, so, and like they don't like Marley not so much.

And Marley's they're like, I've got one as well somewhere that.

Wants to be part of the team.

She wants to was something wrong with it. La was getting all the attention, and so at the moment, man.

Like, she thought about pneumonia. Well, what's the disease you get from mosquitoes. There's a couple. We'll go through them. Ross River fever, Ross River fever, one of them.

The last thing we need at the moment. We've got pneumonia soon to have Ross River fever.

What else is the other one you get when you're overseas.

Malaria malaria, Yeah, not glaringly obvious, that one.

Not to be forgotten one of them. Yeah.

So then so obviously we're just given about the dummy full time pretty much now, because every time you go to bed, oh my god, I have the dummy.

So what's the solution do you think?

Though, Well, I don't know. Well, I've had a look online. I'm looking at mosquito killers at the moment, everything from like the sticky pads right up until like you have these like zappers to these ones that are like this UV light that like slowly.

Kill them all slowly is better? Yeah?

I wanted to bet so hey if you got any advice for how to get rid of mosquitoes. Even got the little wristbands that have like a little bit for balance. So I'm trying everything at the moment, out of ideas, out of ideas.

The massies don't like me. They're like April, that's about it in this house. So there's always one. There's only one Acrifi has April survived in the swamp.

We just keep on doors shut. That's why I'm sweating front doors open, screen door isn't. Look she does get bitten, but not to that extent.

Let's put this way, if Lola was a fully.

Grown woman, wouldn't look so bad because their body would have spread them out.

Okay my logic there. Yeah, no, I got it very good. But grow up Lola, it'd be fine. Look they're not great.

I mean yeah, you definite don't want to get roster of a fever. Automati who had that once never recovered properly.

He's like if anything flying comes near, he's like, you know, said pneumonia. I don't want to talk about it. They all died heavy. How do you nan recovered? How Man had it? Yeah, she's always got pneumonia. Spoon Man not so much. Rest in Peace RP should do meltdowns, we should do a new segment. This intro one of the worst that we've ever said. I but the worst it is, the better it is. I think I can agree with that.

I don't know if people listening can agree with because they probably got to turn this bit off for us.

If you're listening right now, turn it down just a spititch.

So if you're not familiar with this segment, it's where we have people writing and tell us about their kids or a child they might know most ridiculous meltdown over what it's very entertaining.

But also if anyone is not a parent, because there are a few people who don't have kids and they're listening. Having kids is just it's NonStop troubleshooting of meltdown. It's just doesn't matter.

I've often said that it's like having an incoherent drunk person owning one.

Yes, that's exactly what it is.

Things are good, It's only gonna last for maximum five minutes before you have a meltdown.

Yeah. Yeah, And then that's like you have a meltdown with a drunk person. You know what the fuck? Oh you know?

I love you, man, I, I love you so much. That's exactly what its parenting. It's they should put that in the d chair. It's like parenting defined. I'll start with just one that happened to me, not my kids, but I witnessed it firsthand, which I love that the most.

It's enjoyable when you're childless is even better.

And you know when it's a good one when other parents around are like, do you know what's wrong? Do you know what happened? Oh? Fuck? So I was at the beach the other day and I just get out of the car and then all of a sudden, I hear the wind up behavior this kid just screaming like top of.

Their lungs, Like, oh, I thought maybe they'd fallen over or something serious had happened. And then April was happened to be where like she'd been out of the car seen it.

What was happening. I hadn't seen it. I just heard it. And then I'm walking back behind the car and I was like, oh, like what happened?

And she was like the kid had an absolute, still melting down cry for twenty minutes, right twenty minutes because it was getting dressed. How da, how dare you dress me down at the beach to go into the water.

But then we've walked to our.

Spot of the beach, you can still hear it. Then I hear it coming down the beach, still screaming, and I'm like, what the fuck? And the lady next to us was like, do you guys know what happened? And I was like, yeah, they just the kid just got dressed.

Didn't like it.

There is that little split moment from when you've put a shirt over the toddler's head.

And they're like, oh, that's a freak at.

And then as soon as you're probably in the hole, they're like, oh, thank god.

I always said to ask you when that happens. Nearly lost today. But they kept going, kept screaming, and then the parents thought, you know, it's a good idea, let's get him into the water. But also it was a northerly swell, so all the water comes from deep water. It's really cold compared to what it should be in summer, and they a little tip. The kid just went off just continuous. They had to pack up and go home.

D's it's pretty lovely night. The thing is that the parents would have been like, let's get down to the beach for the kid. Yeah, I'm doing this, We're doing this for the kid, and ended up having to go.

There is nothing more disheartening than when you were doing something with the intention nothing else but to try and make your child happy, like go into like a kid's playground or something like that, and if they don't enjoy it, obviously a meltdown's fine. But if you can't spin that round and like get them to turn the corner, and then you come back home and it's just you accept defeat.

Fuck, it is disheartening. I hate that, like I did this, I do this for you. Yeah, I don't do it for me. I don't know the lines. I know. I don't want to go to zoo and my legs immediately hurt as soon as I walk in there.

It's like, why am I legs so sore? Like I've been running a marathon today.

I got one here for you.

This one is from Casey and she's written in and she said my toddler had a tantrum because I didn't get the receipt after buying three things from Willie's.

Just worried about you going to shops afterwards, warranted like why what is it to you?

Another one?

I'll just give you one that I've got really quick. That's actually from a family member of mine. So it's from a cousin and they've got two kids. They've got one who's like I think she's like three four or something like that.

Apparently she has a meltdown because they won't let her drive the car every time.

Apparently that's about as annoying as a guest ah. She's trying to get somewhere it's like you put him in the.

Seat drive maybe fucking do it.

Yeah, Mayson has an obsession with the car that if we get her out of the car without it letting it have a play in the car melt down.

Stop that habit right now, I do. Someone else doesn't. Not naming names.

This meltdown is one that happens to us, and I don't know if you're because are the same. We've got the double pram and Lola's a really good height because she's still in like the like the seat pram. Yeah, perfect height to press the pedestrian pressing button, whereas Marley's kind of like wedged on the back.

Of the suitor, stuck in there somewhere.

And so when we go up to a crossing, Lola will press the button and then Marley's like, I'm the press and then there's this fight of who has to press it.

Last.

We let Marley press the button and then Laula's like I wanted to press it that it's just just all day.

You'd be there all day being like, okay, last one we don't go to I reckon if you didn't be like that's it, that's the last one.

They would just go back and forth.

All today because Oscar and Mayson do that. If last person to get a kiss from mom before they go to sleep. But Macy would jump up and down in the cot so that she's the last one.

She's the youngest. The other day she's jumping up and down on the cotton head butt a bang, hit the deck, straight to sleep, Straight to sleep. Concussion.

Anyway, if you've got one, please send us a d M or you've flickers, flickers.

Not just send us a DM. We don't change the email address.

I think we might change it.

What is it? What is it right now? Big dick dad? Yes, let's move on to some questions.

I have a question for you can straight up? Do you mind if I kick off? Yeah? I'm very intrigued this question because I feel like couples have very varying styles. This one ashes. This one has come from Paris. Jane message me this morning in fact on Instagram direct my messages, and she said, we'd love to know how you guys work through your parenting tips as a couple. Oh so, like, what's your resolution process? But when you and April are having a little argument.

Or haven't like agreed on the outcome, of the parenting situation. Like for examples, one for you please, and April does this a lot, okay, where I'll be like, no, I.

Just heard her move upstairs because she does listen in Oh, She's like just put an ear to the floor.

Well, you're about to get sledged whenever, like one of the kids is like I want something like this, and I'm like no, and I like walk away. Sometimes April has given it to them afterwards and I have snoop to see what happened, and she's done it, So you're the you're the bad yeah, and.

I've gone you know, you've got to back me up, like you can't just like it's just like it's just easier to do. Usually what happens is we'll have like a little tiff. We don't fight very often.

What happens when you guys actually have a fight.

I think, how there's a lot of fights still open we haven't resolved them, which is not good.

How would you guys?

Gay question for you because Laura and I, if we have obviously a little disagreement doesn't warrant having a full sit down. Yeah, we can't go to sleep without saying physically or you just.

Like well, I could probably go to sleep. Look in the batch bad, go downstairs.

We need to kind of both acknowledge what was the cause of the problem and like say sorry and then have a kiss and then.

We're good to go. I think kiss. Are you guys like that? Oh? Do you do?

You guys?

You can let it simmer for a little bit. No, we usually just take little digs at each other until eventually we laughed about it. Oh that's nice and healthy. Yeah, great, anyway, that's that's the answer. Literally, I'll be like, just ask mum if she'll give it to you kidney shot. Yeah, it seems to be working perfect. We're fine, I swear all right, My turn, my mummy turn.

Here's one comes from Amy via Instagram. If you could erase one aspect or task in parenting.

Forever, what would it be? But is endless? Jesus, it's a very open ended question. Where do we begin? One thing?

You just like go, I'll just like paraphrase that a little bit for your game. If you don't mind, man, one thing that you fucking hate about it that you could just I wish I could never or would never have to do that ever again in my existence.

I think that. Okay, there's a lot. I can't say all of it.

Probably the one that I disliked the most would be brushing teeth. Oh yeah, you got yeah, because every time we had a little window we talked about it last year, we would say the sugar bugs and unless you get rid of the sugar bugs through brushing your teeth, sugar bugs would rot your teeth away.

And it worked for a little bit and the kids would.

Be like, oh, sugar bugs. And on they would like allow us to brush their teeth. But every time, every time the kids are in the bath, I've got to brush their teeth. It's like I've got pliers and I'm pulling out of them.

Just I've got to pin them down, open your mouth.

And then Lola's like, I want to do it, and then she just sucks the toothpaste off, swallows it.

She's like finished, that's not it smart. You got to actually, yeah, having the battle, it's the battle, and.

Then ash and then because like we always finish on brushing the teeth. So then I get out of the bath, they're kicking, screaming. Getting them dressed, they're kicking, scream again. It just takes a little while. They finally calm down, like midway through the first book.

Ah, maybe can you tell I hate brushing teeth? Maybe brush them at a different time you're onto something.

Maybe just finish dinner and go guess what, girls, this time, we're going to brush our teals straight off to dinner so the food doesn't get lodged in there, that food out.

That's very clever. What would it be for you? It's definitely the battle of It's just like the battle of trying to get them to listen. That's it, because.

I feel like if I could remove the aspect of me telling them to do something.

To remove disciplining. Is that I hate disciplining them because I find that I'm doing it all the time because they don't listen. Is that a April? No? No, of course not. I don't know. It's a tough one because it's like Oscar, what about reading kids' books? Do you like that? It's all boring to me? Man, But I don't do that? What about kids play? I do? Like I do. April is way more diligent with that that she does. The I do the help to the bath, we do the bath, get them dress, I say good night.

Actually, that's it. You've just hit them on the head dinner. If I could remove the battle of getting them to eat dinner, If I could just get them to eat dinner, I reckon I would be a better person. That empathy wouldn't be pretend. That would be real. If I could get them to eat dinner.

If there's any scientists out there.

Figure that out. What do I do starve them?

Let's not explore the depths of the ocean or like universes.

No one needs that. Just figure out how to make like.

There's more grains of sand then there is stars. Just tell me how to get my kids to eat that fucking dinner. Like if someone served me chicken nuggets and chips, I would be like, you're the best, not like I don't like it. I liked it yesterday, I don't like it today. That's another thing too. If I can get rid of oh god here, same with dinner, the change of taste buds over to the course of twenty four hours. So I'll be like, have this, and they'll be like, I'll eat it.

Okay. That's the key that is it. That's the thing, Like I hate watermelon and then you give it to them tomorrow and they're like, I don't like it.

You actually do what my fucking just quickly, Marley was like, actually I no longer like having butter on my toast. And I'm like, that's a lie, because I've seen you eat that by the spoonful this morning and all of a sudden, because it's on your toast right now and it's.

In front of you, haven't even noticed. That's another thing.

Oscar doesn't want veggiemite with butter anymore. So I've been sneaking the butter on there.

I sneak in the butter on the pit. I ain't raising no freak. And if you have.

Any parenting questions, you can submit that to us via either one of our personal instagram.

Yeah, DM, stop me on the street.

Be like, I've got a question, don't stop me in the street. Actually that's probably what mister Freeze.

Was trying to do. I've got a really good dream of the ash, please stop. And you're like, fuck off. I literally gave you in the finger and get I just wanted to know.

But it was one of those Ah, what is our email to dd at out lock out Lock's so two yep, dd at outlook dot com dot au.

Great, you can submit them there?

Can I also just say, as well as really quickly before we go, Yes, we do have. I believe the figure is round about forty three calendars. This is chur Play twenty twenty four. They are remaining. They are sitting there waiting to find a home someone in this country to love them. You asked the question, You're like, has anyone masturbated over the calendar?

Do you know what?

Nothing would make me happier?

Yes, I welcome it.

I have over the pictures of me because I'm so self upset. What my idea was to take them to news agents and put them in the calendar section of the news agent, but put free and then film people picking them up.

We'll be there for a while. Do love good news agents. We just sit there and play scratch thems and we need what scratch thems to.

Scratches one name called scratches Scratch the scratch ems anyway, don't gamble.

Kids, there's some remaining. There is some remaining that are on the budget Smuggler website. They are go grab them. Maybe we'll just heavily discount them. Let's give it one more week. We've got to left. We'll give weself. I was wait till next week.

Hey, they will sell out me let me tell you they will not.

We're going to actually put the price up. We can do it, like everything must go sale. Yeah, we should do that, Okay, we should. We'll see you guys, if you've enjoyed this episode. Sorry, that's okay.

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