Quake shake voms & park fights

It's nice to have your voice back. I know you missed the hask, but I don't know if I could do another episode with an erection.

Welcome back to two notting dads. I am Maddie Jay and I'm Ash. This is a conversation all about parenting, the good, the bad, and the relatable. And we have to also say at this point, if you're coming for any type of advice.

Steer clear, turn away child right now.

Ash wait, I have a very important announcement to make.

Pla head on me, big man.

Well, let's just say that this podcast is about to get a whole lot better.

No shit, if you know what I'm saying, exactly what you're saying, Well, you.

Know, the listeners don't know. But we have a very first broken our sponsored virginity.

Here so we can keep making podcasts.

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That's amazing. So essentially I have an excuse now to start drinking at ten am, and my wife can't say a single thing about it.

I'm sure April is absolutely thrilled. She's like, so, who's the sponsor? Is it like a fruit and veg company?

Isn't it you do with babies? What am I getting out of it?

It's beer.

It's beer's baby, it's beers.

But the story of Better Beer it's it's pretty sick. If you're familiar Ash, you may have heard of the two boys co founded it inspired unemployed. Does that ring a bell? Absolutely, they're good mate. He's a publican, Nick Koger. They wanted to create a delicious, healthier beer, which is how Better Beer Company started.

Didn't they like to sell out immediately on the first week it.

Did stupidly well. I think it's about a year and a half ago they launched. Since then, they've sold ten million, ten million leaders of beer leaters.

That's just to me, not bad. A couple of X trade's. They now have five beers in the range and I'm personally frothing on the new Pacific al Al that's definitely my drop.

I mean, should we absolutely, it'd be rude not to.

Ten am, let's go, that's the stuff.

Cheers, cheers. Sorry, sorry, sorry.

I'm just trying to just straight in. Let's go. I haven't even had breakfast yet.

So that is tasty, that is that is crisp, that is very good.

Look, I'm a big fan of Pacific Al, so I'm very happy they brought this out. I have drank their other ones as well, enjoy them also, But Sunday Harvo for me, Pacific Al the dream one too many of course, absolutely.

Big shout out to better Beer.

We love you boys, Thank you guys.

To me, it feels like a lot longer than a week since we last record. It feels like it's been an eternity.

It's been a long time. It's been a weekend. What is it? Miss you too, It's been too long? What's new? What's new for you? I mean for me? Not a whole lot. I've noticed something devious my wife does with our children's lunchboxes.

Devious in what way is she like hiding drugs in there?

What is she Let's say yes, let's say yes, so okay, obviously I have two kids. One they go to different kindergartens. Is because one of them is free for this year for the first two days, and it's also got older kids. So Oscar goes to this other daycare, which we need to provide the lunch with him.

I know a few people who go to those daycares. We have to bring the lunch. That to me sounds like a bloody nightmare.

Well it's not mine, Aunt Merrit's aprils. And of course we've got the Bento box lunch boxes, which is so in fashion at the moment. What's the Bento You know exactly what I'm talking about. So essentially it's a customized it's got their name on the front of it. You open it up and it's got set like compartments like a Bento box. Yes, yeah, you know the one I'm talking about.

But we don't have that.

We literally you're living in the past. Man.

What we use as a lunch box and the kids love it.

Is just a ziploc bag like lish that.

Or like a plastic takeaway container put in the tie container from takeaway in the dishwasher.

Your poor children.

We walked a daycare this morning, didn't have time to eat breakfast. So I'm like, we're taking a lunch box. Reaches and she grabs a takeaway container. That's our Bento box.

Oh my god, what do you get the Bento box from? Much? They're everywhere. I don't know. You've got to have the latest things, apparently, according to my wife.

To keep up with the Joneses, keep exactly.

Right, and look, they're great. They're annoying to wash, dishwasher or hand you can do either, okay. Anyway, so they're separate. They've got the compartment, so you've got dairy protein, bloody, bloody, fucking blah blah. Anyway, so I just put whatever in whatever compartment. It's not a big deal to me. But he's like, that's not protein. You can't put it in there.

What are you putting in there?

You got like I'm imagining this sandwich yoga maybe like a yogurt pouch or fit in there? Fruit?

What kind of sandwich?

Like a veggimo, Benjamin, You can't do peanut butter obviously because nuts. Some kiddies have nut allergies. It's mainly bacon and cheese rolls. The kids loving them. Heaven, they are good good. But anyway, I noticed the other day, so my mum was here and she brought over mince lice biscuits. Yeah, the beautiful chocolate mince slice biscuit.

Disagree, it's fucking toothpaste and chocolate put together.

But continue continue, I'll agree to disagree on that one. I'll let that one slide. So we're not that obviously send chocolate to kids fircle, So.

I why not? Is it because they all flip out with one person?

Yeah? Yeah, yeah, I think it's also like the nutritional value on a mint, yeah, and whatever sort of chocolate. So I've noticed that my wife does something very devious. She hides the biscuit under the raspbreed. But that's not the worst part of it. First of all, you don't need to give them chocolate for lunch. You don't need to do that. But then she's also telling Oscar, make sure you eat it before the teachers come around. And I'm like, are you fucking serious.

She's smuggling in chocolate.

She's smuggling chocolate into the kindergarten. And then when we pick up Oscar, he's like, they didn't see me eat it. This is like they're in Kohootz, these two. They're literally swindling the teachers and smuggling in contraband to the kindergarten.

Surely they're going to see him. All the kids are eating.

Yeah, and there's so many more kids, and April has like literally given him a play by playbook April used to work at this kindergarten too, so she understands. She knows the blind spots where the blind spots are, and she's really teaching him bad habit. I thought I was the bad one with diet, and I mean, that's something I want to talk to you about today as well. But I was shocked.

That's I can't believe April. She's such a princess. She's an angel.

I know. She's such a goody goody too, never does anything wrong. It makes me think, though, if I go to prison, I'm in good hands.

Oh you're fine.

She's going to be like, I've just baked your cake. Actually she can't cook. I've just had someone bake you a cake and there's a pack of SIGI's in there for you to buysh it with.

Do you think at any point like daycare are going to find out? Because how long has this been going on for now?

Like I'm guessing since he's been there so this year. But I think what happens is if they do find it so confinement, they've probably the teachers are all at the back end. What did you get today?

Get the mint slices?

I think to him at the end of the day. I think that's how it works.

But don't you worry though that Oscar bless his cotton socks. He's been doing it for a while now.

You know.

At some point, after a few months start to progress, you become a little bit complacent maybe and.

It gets greedy. Do you think maybe he gets greedy? Yeah, you get great.

Well, now he's like, hey, don't just put in one.

Put it into check one under the sandbo as well.

Yeah.

I think maybe the criminal mind works. Like I stole ten grand from the bank, warn't next time getting twenty grand. Yeah, I'm down for a little bit more. And they get greedier and greedier and greedier. Next minute, Oscar is dealing mint slices at kindergarten. That's the sort of tone you're setting for my child. Open if you're listening. That's how

I got to your house next week and Oscar wearing a brand new roll leggs. He's in Gucci he's got one of those tear drop. I'm like, Jesus, what happened to you, Oscar?

It's like, hardened up, get with the program.

This didn't happen to me last week. This happened to me a little while ago. And I thought I told you the story about how I got into a fight.

At the park. Yeah, you're known for that.

I mean I told you the story I swear I have.

Is it with another parent or how did it work?

Yeah? It was multiple parents. Hang on a minute, multiple parents.

You're in your fight club down at the local park. Yeah, other parents, women or men, both far off?

It was all in.

Were their punches thrown? No? Okay no, no.

Luckily we didn't.

Get it was a misunderstanding.

It got to the point where, in hindsight, I look back and I'm like, that really could have I could have escalated and been quite a serious little situation. Luckily I didn't go that far. But I'm quite cool, calm and collected. I'm not a violent but I can imagine.

Look, I've been waiting to fear a fire up. I can feel it sometimes. I'm like, imagine if you just snapped and murdered everybody, and feel it.

It almost happened. So on Thursdays, the kids aren't in daycare, it's what we call a daddy day. It's where me and the girls, Marley and Lola, we just hang out normally go down to the park down the road and bring Buster along. And it's very wholesome.

Buster the three leg a dog.

That's it, you know, it's me bust pop along literally, and the girls love to bring the bike down, bring the scooter and it's a beautiful afternoon. And I kind of enjoy it because the girls love it. You know, I feel like I'm being a good dad. And nothing makes me happier than when I look at the smiles of my children, and I'm like, I'm doing it good. So we're at the park, cut a few laps on the bike path and the scooter, and then Lola says to me, I need to go do wie wei? Sure,

Yeah.

At the same time, we make our way back to the park and I look over and there's another family and they have a blue Healer, which, you know, normally a very friendly dog. I personally haven't had any issue.

Yeah, they shed a lot of hair, but it's nothing. Personally. Yeah, No, they can't help that, but the attitude on them is usually pretty good.

Pretty good. Right. I look over and this lady is holding the blue heeler. He's on a lead, and Buster quietly and slowly hobbles over. You know, if anyone doesn't know my dog, he's not fast. He's got two back legs, he's got one front leg.

The front legs jacked though.

It's shredded, and Buster literally just hops over and like gives him a little sniff, not angry at all.

Buster is such a placid dog. The blue heeler loses it ra ra right right, raight right rah, and all of a sudden he runs around the owner. She was a little bit older, and all of a sudden her legs are like closed shut because the lead is just wrapped around her, so then she can't move.

Who's lead the blue heels Sorry, the older.

Lady who's holding the blue the leaders wrapped around her, legs set of close shut, and she topples over. She like hits the deck, you know, like that. And my initial reaction was like, oh, my goodness, I hope this lady is okay, because you know, like it was like a scene from a cartoon or something where like legs close shut, she didn't have time to put her arm out, so she just like it wasn't a hard that was like she was falling from a distance.

But it was her dog that did that, right.

Her dog, her dog, and Buster even Buster was like, holy shit, this is that's kind of crazy. Buster backed off, and then as I was making my way over to be like are you okay, she starts losing it at me, just like the blue Hill was losing it earlier reflection, and she's like, your dog fucking attacked me. How dare you? I was like, what excuse me? And she's like, it's your dog. He shouldn't be on a lead. As she's like laying there still like on the ground like mamma fired by this lead about like.

The zero like dominance of that situation where she's yelling at you but she's flat on the back. You just stand over.

And be like yeah, yeah. I was like, what are you talking about? I was like, my dog was chilled. It's your dog that lost it. And I think it was either like her friend or like maybe a son I don't have. This bloke who was with her was like, bloody hell mate, you need to keep your dog on a leave. That's irresponsible. And I was like, what are you talking about, bro? And then he goes, you just stop being a dick?

Oh what?

And I kind of forgot In that moment. I was holding Lola and Marley was standing next to me, and I kind of just forgot.

I was like, yeah, you just see red Hay.

I was like, what do you mean, dude, what are you talking about? And then these two ladies still on the floor yelling at me, her guy mates also having a go at me, and I'm just like, is this a prank? I did?

Laurie just popped out like.

I literally thought like this can't be real. And then this mum, another mum in the park comes over.

To back you up or back them up?

Well, I thought, I'm like, great, I've got someone here to be like you guys are being ridiculous. But then she looks at me, and she's like, not in front of.

The children, and I'm like what, and she's like, please, someone think of the children, not in front of them.

All the language coming out of this exchange.

And then all of a sudden, because now we're making a big commotion, people in the park are now stopping.

And looking at me, and I'm like, I didn't do anything.

I'm an innocent victim.

Playing the dog. Are you going to play anybody?

And so she keeps pointing at me, just being like the children like not not here. Please. This lady starts freaking out.

She's still on the ground.

I think she's back up, but there's other mums come over. It's like we've just pulled out weapons. That's how she's behaving.

Like an ankerman two the park. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, acting.

As if I've just whipped out a crowbar and he's got nunchucks and we're about to do this gladiator fight. Not the case. And then I'm like, okay, do you know what I'm just going I'm going to walk away here because this is not going to be resolved, and people are starting to get a little bit heated, and I can't be on the front page of the newspaper daily Mail.

Oh easy, the Harolds aren't Daily Mail. So j fights that older woman.

So I'm like, I'm just going to remove myself from the situation. I'm going to walk away. And as I'm walking away with this other mom, not the lady with the blue heeler, the mom who was back in my up saying think of the children, she's still yelling like just leave, just leave. As I'm walking away, and I'm like, mate, I'm leaving. Chill. And then just as I think like this can't get any worse, Marley and Lola are like, we don't want to leave the park. So they start screaming, being like, no.

Go in mate.

So then I've tried to put Buster back on the lead, just to be like, the last thing I need is for him to go back over to the blue heeler and comfort round two. So I'm dragging Buster on three legs. I've got a scooter. I've got a bike with training wheels on it. Yeah, Marley and Laula are both screaming like they're being abducted right now from the park. And of course I couldn't pick the car close to the park.

The thing is like when you say and what really resonated with me? Then and you're like, I'm carrying a scooter and a bike. We're training wheel. There's like anytime you leave the house with a scooter or a bike, you're fucking carrying that thing. After about five minutes, but you're pretty much set out and got ganged up on by everyone at the park over something someone else's dog did you poor? And then your kids want to kick off because you got to leave the part. Don't they

Okay, please, with the love of God, just stop crying.

Just leave him there.

I thought about it. It's like, okay, bye, go you, I'm out of here.

Think of the children. Why don't you think of my children? And I'm out of here.

It didn't get physical, Thank heavens.

Yeah, because you know your kids don't need to see daddy take a beating. What I wanted to ask you was your kids diet when you're looking after them? And verse when Laura is looking after your kids, Does it differ or do you feel like you sit on the same page.

Well, Lash, at the moment, Laura is not around, so I just left you. So Laura is not here, the kids only have me. I think Laura's pretty good. Laura's pretty good.

I'm's usually pretty good. Yeah, Dad's very much like give them whatever, the shout them up.

Yeah. For example, like on the weekends, if the kids want to have lunch, which is just corn thins with a bit of butter on top. Perfect.

Okay. So like for us, April was always trying to be well. She bought the Bento boxes, so she's like, make sure there's proteines, whatever, carbs, whatever. I couldn't get less.

Do you guys adhere to Well obviously not because of the mint slices, but do you do like minimal sugar or like do you try?

No? No, no.

We went to a friend's house and they said, oh, we don't actually give young Stewart here any sugar.

Stupid.

But the main thing that we use with the kids is ice cream or chocolate as a bribe.

Oh yeah, bribe to eat their veggies. I say, bribe until you die.

You got it. There's no other way.

My mum's still bribing me, just money. I shouldn't do this, give you and ship.

The kids are pretty good though, Like we're lucky in that under no influence from us. They just like broccoli that's good, and they like carrot. I would say they are their two favorite vegetables.

Wow. Yeah, I couldn't tell you what my kid's favorite vegeties are because I feel like when they're liking something, they're liking something and then all of a sudden, they don't like it anymore. Carrot's usually a pretty good one.

Carrots is staple.

My father in law is very good with the veggies and stuff. When the kids are with him. I noticed that they eat a lot of carrot. He likes a lot of carrot, and they love pop us, so they see Popper eating carrot. I don't need a lot of carrots, so they're probably not thinking I'm going to look up to him for my dietary needs.

What's ash having? Oh? Another better beer? Yeah?

Yeah, subtle pluck. You're welcome, Daddy's.

Why are you saying that you're more relaxed and April.

You're definitely I'm definitely more relaxed. So like, for example, if I go to the weekly shop, okay, and I take one of the kids, that's the deal. You gotta take one of the kids. I think that's crazy, all right, with one and no mum, because when mum's there, it's like winge, winge, winge because they want mum.

But you're going to take Mazie right, because she's still at the age we spoke about this on the phone the other day where she's not yelly enough to do a good winge in comparison to a four year old.

Oh yeah, it's a different winge. I feel like we're at two different winges. I take Oscar a lot of the time, to be honest, because it wears him out. Yes, you know, like Macy gets pretty worn out. Run her up and down the stairs a couple of times and done, she's cooked. She's at the top. Life, carry me down. But Oscar's like he's a boy, he's you know, crazy, right, I take him and I can I bribe him. I bribe him, I get the best out of him. Mum's not there. And this is where the diet really goes

Does he understand what donut king?

Yeah?

Or is it just because you're like, oh yeah yeah.

But he also when he gets a donut with icing on it, he just heads the icing and then just like tosses the rest of the doughnut away. We just waste anyway. So the reason I wanted to bring his up is because this is what happened. I went to Donut King and they do something called a quake shake.

What's a quake shake?

It's like a thick shake, but just a little bit fancier, and I get the honeycomb lava. He's not a donut King pitch.

By the way it sounds naughty.

It's very good, okay. And of course I'm with Oscar. I'm like, he can have a little bit, that's fine, but you also get a quake shake combo and it comes with two cinemon donuts. Oh shit, and they're fresh. And I'm like, this is going to get us through the shop today Sun Sunday afternoon. Look at us go anyway, So I get the quake shake and he's sitting in the front of the troll, right that's that bit that you can sit in, and I'm having some he's having

Time of your lives right now, time I life.

So we go down to Will. He's anyway. We're walking down the aisle and I hand him the milkshake for a little sip and I get distracted with something. I was looking for something, something April wanted, something specific, and then I've turned back, grabbed the milkshake and he's finished it.

Well, how much was in there?

Oh? Enough?

Yeah, he's one of those jumbo cuts.

It's decent side. He's finished the remainder of it. And I was like, first of all, I'm pissed off because I wanted more. That's mine, motherfucker, and you've just gone and finished it. Where's the courtesy anyway? But I was also like whatever. Anyway, We're walking along a little bit further and he was like, I'm cold.

I was like, what, Well, you just had two leaders of life.

Chris had to and he's liked and he's like shivering, and I'm like, hell, like I'm cold. I'm like, do you feel sick? And he's like yeah, yeah, yeah. Anyway, I'm holding the cup. I've taken that, so I've taken the dome lit off because like I'll scrape out what was left for me. I'm doing that and he's like, I'm cold, and then he's gone really quiet. He's obviously feeling sick because he's drank it too far. Anyway, two

There's a part of me that was like, were you attempted a little?

Not at all? It reminded me of when you were younger and you did beer bongs, and when you did a beer bong and you got sick straight after and used to vomit cold out. That's what it reminded me of. It was legitimately if I served it back up at a doughnut king, don't want to know the difference.

When you went home? Were you woted all that? He was going to spoil the beans to April about what's just happened?

He did immediately he was like.

Was sick and what happened?

Are you okay?

Honey?

He's like, no, fuck that guy. He drank all my milkshake and then he spewed it back up cold as some sort of teas.

As.

She's got a couple of cracking questions this week. I'm going to start away with the first one.

If I may, you're going to ask me this question, I'm.

Going to ask you the first question, beautiful. It's a bit of a long one. I'm not going to say who it was who submitted this question. I don't want to get them in trouble and they're asking about a friend's situation. This one came through it on the Instagram at two doting dads. It says here, I'm going to just condense it a little bit. Her friend has just had a new baby and her husband right now is spending a lot of time doing his hobby, so he's

Not the question?

It's a long one. She even apologized. She was like, I'm so so for the essay right now. Don't you dare apologize?

No, no, no, no no. Look, you're not in the wrong here.

It's important to ask these questions to give all the contexts. But she ends it and says how much baby free leisure time is acceptable for a new time dad.

First of all, nothing is unfair, buddy, in this situation, nothing is unfair. The fact is that you said to your wife it's unfair I don't get to do or your wife or the mother of your child, that you don't get to do your hobbies. That's a fucking dog act. Bro, the poor girl is in recovery dog act. But we could harp on about that. Look, I understand everyone needs their vice, whether it's your hobby, whether it's going out

I think in the first couple of months, for.

You don't have any hobbies anymore, bro, Yeah, like you don't have you literally on holidays from your on I shouldn't say alidays. You're on a nightmare holiday from your hobbies for that moment in time, and it's only for a short moment in time. But I think, like I get that, everyone needs their time, their downtime, both of you and Mum. Look when we had Oscar originally, I mean originally the original original when we had Oscar. Look,

How often were you surfing when Oscar was born afterwards? In that first few months.

So the first few months, I was still surfing like most days, okay, but there was things around that that I had to achieve for the family before I could have my little downtime. So thankfully I was blessed enough to live right on the beach so I didn't have to drive. I could get it done really, really quickly. But if I had to drive, it would have been a different story. And I guarantee you this guy plays fucking golf.

Golf is like anyone who's trying to maintain golf after their child is born. Fucking give it up right now.

Look, your swing's gonna have to be put aside, mate, for the caring of your child, even just for now. Get the putter out and put up and down the hallway. Be a team player. But it's only temporary. I'm not saying to you fucking get rid of your hobbies for the rest of your life. It's very temporary because you find a balance, you find the communication at some point. So like for me, April and I were like, okay, well, look, if the baby goes to sleep and successfully, you've got

I also did as well. I say that like I've been in a jel the whole time, which I haven't. But continue and I'll tell you what I did well.

I think like I came in really hard then on the guy just saying that's a dog act. But you also need to like communicate and be like, Okay, well, maybe I can do my hobby a little bit less or when it's more convenient. But that's my answer to that question.

I agree in the first few months, disregard any kind of hobby unless it's those tiny little windows like the half an hour, the forty five.

Minutes, if you're running Babe down out the door back in thirty be efficient.

I think. Then beyond that, after newborn, I think you're entitled to as much time as your partner gets. It's got to be equal. So if you're trying to take a full day to do twenty rounds of golf, twenty holes of golf, I don't even know what I call it.

Is it a round of golf eighteen? I think eighteen?

Who fucking knows?

Front nine, back nine?

Yeah? Yeah, But you can't be doing that. If your partner's only getting in like a half an hour walk outside the house, it's.

Got to be the baby.

It's got to be equal. But I went in hard send this guy's a dog. But I look back, Oh, man, I's a killer.

That self reflection, it's really.

Easy to fall into that routine of just baby being with mum because in the first few months they are so dependent because they all they do is literally they wake up, they feed, stock the life out of her. They're awake for like twenty minutes half now they go back to sleep. They wake up, they feed, you change the nappy. It's just that is on repeat. And as a guy, like you're not really doing that much with the baby, but obviously you do more around the house.

Glad You're self reflected on that and you're admitting.

This, Yeah, I was. I woke up and I got Laura at coffee in the morning, which I know week do, and I thought to myself, my work here is done. And I had my gym bag. I was like, dressed, not in gym gear, and so, you know, I was in for the long haul. I'd like packed a bag to be a day bag. And I was like bye, honey, and I was, you know, skipping out the door, and she was like, what the fuck do you think you're doing? And I was like, well, I'm going to go see Diamond.

You got to learn, though, you do have to learn.

You've got to make mistakes.

You do have to make mistakes to be better and look, yeah, going for hours, you're worse than this guy.

Yeah, you know what I'd do as well. I remembered a couple of times where I'd come home and someone would call me just before I came through the front door, so I'd come home on my phone and like, yeah, yeah, no, I can't believe mainly lost a game. Yeah, don't ever come through the front door on your phone phone.

If you haven't been home for hours already, you need to come home for ready to help. Matthew. I'm going to ask you a question from a listener. Have you had a moment where you thought, I'm glad no one was around to see that.

Yes, but actually it happened when people were around.

To see that. Yeah, time was the butter chicken thing in the middle of the night.

I remember there was one time in particular, Laura was away and I had the kids. Not to paint Laura as a non existent parent.

It was just at the moment.

It was maybe a year ago, and we used to live just off Bondi Road. On the weekends. It was always so bloody busy. There's a couple of cafe is there chokers on a weekend, I had both girls and I think we're out of nappies. We needed something where, you know, without this item, it was essential.

We couldn't detrimental to survival moving forward.

You So, I was thinking, I'm just going to put the kids in the prem had the old double prem. I'm going to take Buster because he needs to do a pool as well, and I'm going to go down to the pharmacy. As I was out the door, both kids are absolutely losing it. You know, sometimes you see a parent with their child and the kid is just like like blood curdling screams.

Yeah. My first thought is that's not my problem, and I just walk away.

Sometimes sometimes I would never say this, but sometimes I always think, wouldn't it be funny if you were like just letting you know your babies crying.

Can you be like, can you shut that thing up?

I would never, I would never, but just to see.

Whatever would do that, just to be clear I was that.

Parent, obviously, someone that said that to me, I would have had another fight.

Buster was at the backyard.

I go to this pharmacy and busses on the lead. I just dropped the lead. I run and grabbed the nappies. And then come out and I'm like, where the hell's bust up? Both kids screaming in the pram in the doorway of this cafe, which is heaving. Buster. He never does this. He just does this piss, which was like this concentrated acid piss. It was like bright fluor yellow and it's stunk, I don't know. And it was in the doorway, just like pit. And he's a big dog,

It's kind of worse than the shit, right, kind of worse than the ship because you can't pick it up. I always thought like, what if humanity you got so anal about picking up dog ways that you have to carry a sponge around? Now, sponge that up.

I'm just there, these kids both screaming. I've got like nappies under my arm. My dog has just done like a four. I need a piss in the doorway of this cafe. And everyone's looking at me being like is this guy the worst freaking dad of the century? And I'm like, what what are you staring at? You never seen a parent before?

Take a picture it'll last.

And that was That was a low moment.

That was and you lash out of the crowd. That's a lone moment when you like claim this hell victim, like.

What are you staring at it?

Having seen a man with no legs and no arms before, I feel sorry for you in that situation.

But behind closed doors, ash I am an angel at all times.

Oh yeah, I've never yelled at my kids now, no, no, no, no, no, never never. My main form of communication is bellowing it on the top of my lungs, like.

Go your road, Ashton. I am sorry to say that. That's all we have time.

That is all we have time for. So any other questions that you got first, then it's a DM. We'll try and get all of them. You get a lot. I picked some of the best ones, so make them stand out. Also, make sure you follow us on Instagram.

Follow on in if you are.

If this is the first time you've tuned into us, go back, go back to the start. Listen to episode one, two three, get in with it. Catch art because we'll try and have some recurring theme I would say, but yeah, make sure your drops a follow, leave a review, we love.

It, subscribe it, Also, if there's any of the people, any of the parents who may be struggling, they're out there with send and thinking I just hit a little giggle.

Send it on over.

Send them this. Even if someone's thinking about having a child, even if someone doesn't have a child, just send it to send it to.

Everyone, you know, if.

They listen to this. But also thanks so much for those who have left us a review on Apple podcast. It is honestly, it warms my cold dead heart to read those in the evenings before I go to bed.

That's all it's always got, guys.

That's all I've got going from me in my life. Right now. My kids are like, Dad, do you want to come on a not now I'm reading the Apple podcast reviews. Jesus Marley, can't you see I'm busy.

One star, Let's get out of me.

Thanks two Doting Dance Podcast acknowledges the traditional custodians of country throughout Australia and the connections to land, sea and community.

We pay our respects to their elders past and present and extend that respect to all Aboriginal and Torrestraight Islander peoples today. This episode was recorded on gadagal Land,