Library Brawls & Finding Your Dad-Tribe

Ah, that's better.

I don't know what was in that ice coffee, but I'm off my face.

Yeah. I don't really feel the effects of caffeine like you do. I drink it for comfort. I could have a coffee and go to sleep.

Who are you?

I am an enigma? My friend always been like that.

What's a red bull do to you?

Nothing? I do have high blood pressure.

Welcome back to two doting dads.

I am Maddie Jay and I'm Ash.

This is a podcast all about parenting.

It's the good, the bad, and the relatable.

And as always, for legal reasons, we have to say this. If you've come for any kind of advice, stop right now, because none will be given whatsoever.

None, zilch at all. We think.

I think if people do listen to us, I wonder if there is anyone else there who's going, oh, I really need a hand with my sleep routine.

I'd be like the worst parent ever.

They're like, guys, I keep doing what you're telling me. That's not working.

Can I just say, though, I know you talk about your kids sometimes, like you know you're a bit frustrated at times with your kids. It can sometimes you can take that tone. Can I just say it was so lovely to see you yesterday with Macy, Like you're just a big soft.

Big softy with Macy pretty hard on Oscar.

You were just it was lovely to see.

She's great and she just's cheeky little ship.

But I'm to be good she is.

I am a good dad. I have to justify it. But she's cheeky.

She's at the age where she's so she's like just about to turn two. Like she's a sweetheart. She's got me wrapped around her finger. But she's a cheeky little ship because she'll do something, look back and smile like she knows she's done the wrong thing. And I'll be like, don't do that, and she knows that I can't get angry. She knows.

Do you think that's the second child or is that because.

It's the girl thing?

I think I remember with Marley. I used to be able to say, they put that down, ready one as.

You go, okay, what age?

See my memory plays tricks on me. I think, like Marley's four and a half, Lola's two and a half. I swear when Marley was Lola's age, I could say stop and she would stop what she's doing so don't pick that up and she'd listen, whereas Lola looks at me and she doesn't say it, but I know she's thinking it, going fuck you.

Yeah, She's like, I don't know who the fuck are you think you're talking to. I'm in charge here. I think like it might be second kid, because I know Oscar at that age was way more vocal. Macy's like a mute you know, she'll talk to me or when it's just me and her, like she's really like shatty, why But she's so quiet, and Oscar kind of like Marley. The vocab is really good, so good so that I remember a while ago Oscar was using April's phone and she was like, oh, the pink code? Is this all right?

Keep that ship under that.

And he's just walking around and it's kind of like rhymes and he's like, but there's no way makes you be able to do.

That I'm trying to think about the pink code.

Is I told you before? I remember and I was like, I was like, I to tell you that there's a story about that. Yeah, So he even now he'll just be like and like rattle off the pin code, just in public, so someone gets told of April's phone, just ask for the picure.

Hey, before we get into this episode, I saw something Ash on social media that made me think of you.

No, wasn't me. It makes me think of Ash. It's just a picture of Ash.

TikTok knows. It knows that we we know each other. It knows, and it knows that I will watch your videos from start to finish, Like the algorithm is designed perfectly.

You've got to watch it start to finish and then the start again.

Yeah, and then it's like it's like, oh I like this, Yeah, I don't want to see the start again, Ash. Whenever your video pops up, I will always honor a full view, always, regardless of what the content.

I skip straight over your.

Because you only watch videos that are like seven seconds long.

That's as long as I've got up, man.

Yeah, Whereas I I like to get comfy when i'm in of alltex. Yeah, video pops up and I thought, oh, I wonder, I wonder how I would go with Ash. It was based on how well do you know your boyfriend? And like, obviously obviously we're not dating.

No, but I see you more than Laura does.

We haven't fucked. No, it may happen. Christmas party is.

Going to be a very quiet Christmas right, just the two of me.

They always say if people get rowdy, we don't have a HR department either, so I'm HR. Anything goes, it's.

Gonna beet creepy. So so you don't want a pose.

You have the nozzle, boats and hose.

There's different settings. There's a few. There's like like the misty.

Hang a minute, we're talking nineties hose. Are we're talking like modern day hose. Nineties hose. It was just twisted and then it turns off or you got your twisted the other way, and it's like, yeah, yeah, this.

Is this is modern day home Click seven settings. This is like a grade brand new, top tier dad stuff. I'm going to show you what the settings are and we'll put this video on social media so people can try and guess. I think I know what I think I know I know. I think I know what setting you'll be.

Okay, I haven't watched through.

I don't know what he's laughing at what you are watching the.

I just knew what I was straight away.

Okay, okay in the wall let me do.

You want to go get watched the second time? Don't rush into it? Yeah, do you reckon? I'll get it.

Yeah, I reckon, You'll get it easy.

No, Like I wonder you're the Soca are you?

Yeah?

Yeah?

Yeah, I was like as soon as I saw that, I was like, yep, that's me.

So are you going to do you You've already watched the same time.

Yeah, I've got my favorite.

You're the fucking jet.

When I watch, I think of how you would ejaculate.

Totally. That's me.

Socha thoughts and prayers with April.

I remember one time you told me that before. I guess just one time that you did tell me that. One time you're pissing and your jap so I was stuck together and the other one yet it pissed out. So are you that one?

Which one's that one?

That one?

Who the hell is center? What the people wondering center is? Number six? No? I'm not a center who no one uses center?

Are you the jet? You would be?

No, I'm the shower show me, I'm the shower number two, number two.

Well, I don't know you as well though, I didn't know the story about you Jap. So I getting stuck together and you have your weed out the side of it.

The jets too hard? The jets too hard. It's like with the jet, Yeah, the jet, no one wants that you never you're not really using jet? Who's using jets too aggressive?

Look? I start with a soaka, and then because I'm a squirter, it turns into the old jets. Yeah, but that's a good game.

I like that.

Okay, So I'm glad you got mine, but I didn't get yours.

It doesn't surprise me. Only one of us is truly invested in this relationship. I have a question for you as well. Have you ever been in a situation where you've had to not reprimand but like step in and take control of the situation with another toddler that's not yours?

Yeah, so like another.

Not so much being naughty, but you know what it's like? Sharing is is really hard with toddlers?

Yeah, definitely, Like it's an awkward situation. I mean, I've got stories of reprimanding kids in public, but that's different. Give me an example. So lately, no one wants to know about me reprimanding children.

Lately, I've been going to the library, the Willara Library.

That's great, take a bunch of noisy kids to a really quiet place.

There's a great section there on the back corner where it's for kids. There's a slide. It's a huge slide in the library, only open.

To the kids going on the slide.

And this old ways Like, I honestly feel sorry for anyone who's gone in there to work and then the kids are just running up.

But that's ridiculous.

It's designed to be like a play area. There's a quiet area of the library, but where the kids are there's.

Like the opposite of that being bags.

There's an interactive screen where kids can play and draw and color and it's great. Kids love it. Marley and Lola all for it.

So there's the quiet section and the kids section, Dad section where it's a pub. It's all these different sections in the library.

I wish there's no drinks in the library. Come on, actually, you know, I know it's a shame, but we were there the kitchen.

What will make libraries better? Go on Beers Library, just saying I just thought i'd had that in there because there should be.

Will Aarra library. If you're listening, just an idea, be it just esci.

It's a donation and all the money goes to books.

Imagine taking kids to the library and you're there in the corner mashed.

Do you guys want to be Do you guys want to how many books you got there?

Hold your dad up?

We were waiting patiently to have a crack at the interactive screen. There were two toddlers.

Is that like a touch screen?

Touch screen? Yeah, like a big plasma and you can then we don't have them over there in the swamp. What's your library?

Just like a bunch of books, black and white, TV, black and white books, no colored covers over there?

Have you seen the library.

On Shawshank Redemption, That's what our library look like.

Well, don't mean to rub it in, you will, but anyway, the hoverboards were broken at the very good So the kids are waiting patiently for the interactive screen. I was kind of you know, I was watching them. I tried to let the kids figure it out and after a while, like after five minutes, kids were still there. Parents also know where to be seen. So I go over and I speak to the two kids, the toddlers, who they're not my kids. I say, hey, look, you've had a really long ago.

With you, like fun time uncle Maddie.

Listeners came in.

I grabbed it by the shirt. You've had enough, I said, I said, look, do you think you could have just one more minute and then Marley and Lola can have a quick turn. She looked at me and was like nah, nah, just She's like I'm coloring in And I was like, I know you are. You've had a really long turn. And also keeping in mind she was there for a while before Marley and Laula were waiting in line, she was just like flat out, like Noah. She was telling me to fuck.

Off pretty much in the total way yeah.

As a four year old. Effectively, she was giving me the finger and telling me to beat it o.

Yeah.

Literally, I was like, I get it, I get it, Okay, So then I was like trying and I also didn't raise my voice, but I was trying to say it a bit louder to hope that the mum or dad would listen and be like, oh, it's okay. But I was saying, listen, come on, you've had a big turn.

Share it with the other kids, you little shit.

Yeah, yeah, and nothing, nothing, And Marley and Laula were looking at me like dad fucking sorted out?

Dad a little bitch? So what do you do?

What do I do?

Here? What do I do? And I was like, I can't.

I can't touch this kid before you tell me what you did? Would you like to know what I would do? Absolutely after you tell me what were you?

Is this Ash? She's got the eski with the beers in the library.

This is just what Ash would do. Not necessarily, it's the right thing. I'm not saying that.

No, tell me, please, I'd love to bear thoughts where.

My mind goes. This is where my mind goes. You've got two kids, parents are nowhere to be seen. It's the perfect opportunity for a little bit, he said, She said, with the two kids, because you could easily go listen here, you little shit. Yes, get off, it's someone else's fucking turn. Okay, let them take off, go on to their moms crying, and then the mom comes back.

Can we just go You don't have to say if.

Do you know what I mean, just be like, look, you've had enough, it's someone else's turn. Beat it very aggressive, okay, but it's a perfect opportunity for them to go get their parents. And if their parents come and go no, I just asked them really nicely if it was okay, if my daughter's had a turn, and they were so good about it they gave it up.

Okay.

So you're saying, gaslight, That's what I would have done, because like, honestly, it's not going to be a life teaching or life learning moment. It's very much like you've had your turn. I've been nice about it. You're going to tell me no, I'm gonna say, hey, share it or get lost.

Don't have that in me.

And if they go, oh, uncle Mandy told me to get lost, no, I said one more minute. And you did the right thing and you shared it with the other kids and be like such a good little boy or good little girl.

Just manipulation.

I can see why you would take that route. I just I don't know. I don't know. I feel like they would have to be naughty for me to justify like obviously not being.

A maybe I was a bit aggressive. Yeah, you can easily sternly be like share it or go away.

I was at the crossroads where I was like, where do I take this? Yeah, you've not been faced with this situation before. I don't know what to do. Marley and Lola were like, my dad's now being piss week and I was like, I I.

Just I was snatched it. You turned it off.

I said, I think you've had enough time on the screen. Come on and thankfully, well I didn't know at first. The mum came running in and I was like, what's the house and Mum'm going to take this because sometimes the parents don't like it when their kid.

Is my kid would never do that.

Well he fucking did, mate.

Well that's why I was like, am I going to have an argument with the mum? Here? Is this all going to kick off?

I love that.

All over. You know, it's kicked off before with me in the park with others and the last thing I want to do, actually last thing.

I get all the shit like I'm the aggressive one when you're the one kicking off with people in the park.

I'm nothing but an angel, except I don't want to end up having a brawl in the library. That's not why I came.

It would any news is good news, Matthew.

And luckily the mom was like, I am so sorry.

He gets it from his dad, but it's so hard. Look, I talked to Big Talk, honestly, I do.

I'd love to see you in public.

You've heard of stories that I've told you before where I have reprimanded kids before. I'm not proud of it, but.

I feel like you've done that when a kid has actually been really naughty, like misbehaving.

Yeah, like not.

Sharing is on the scale of like being really naughty.

So maybe I was a bit harsh. Okay, those aren't going to come at me about what I said earlier about that's terrible.

That's fine as well.

But I was probably harsh that first glance. So yeah, look, I think you did the right thing. You just you didn't escalate.

Like your approach, my approach a.

Little bit more aggressive, where I would have been, Like, what I really would have said is we want to play with kids who share.

Oh yeah, like that.

Yeah, that's kind of where I was getting at. But I like my aggressive approach is if that were being more if she was like, no, it's mine, like being a little shit. But she's like, no, I'm having a turn. Well, we all want to play with kids who share.

Yeah, what do you record?

I but your mummy and daddy want you to share too, manipulate them that. Yay, Okay, you're gonna remember matt in nearly forty. Therefore I'm thirty six. I know, I know, but therefore.

Yeah, they're weak and pathetic. I'm the dominic spirit, the dominant one here.

Yeah, we'll show us.

That's what Lola and Marley were like.

Anyway, I'm banned from the library.

Yeah, Marley and Loa that a little bit. I was just telling you earlier on in this episode about Oscar and the pin coat. Anyway, so I overheard the other day in April trying to explain to Oscar emergency calls triple zero, that sort of situation. Yeah, right, So on the iPhone, obviously, if you hold two buttons down, it

That's it's a good sign that he's understanding.

Kind of yeah. Yeah, And he was like, who would you call?

And he's like, no, doctors. He was like, what is like doctors not to answer that phone?

It's like why.

He just couldn't explain why doctors won't enswer the phone. But then he was like, so if I need a band aid, I was like, oh my god, this is going to end. So thankfully he can't push the two buttons together at the same time because he's only four and his brain doesn't work that way. He's like, but if he could, he would have called emergency like ten times, which heasy to ask you the question have you ever explained?

I think it's a little it's a little bit early. It's a little bit early, although like I don't know how we spoke about it, but the idea of.

Death, oh my god.

So we haven't really had that conversation. I think we try and tell her, try and tell the kids, like where they live, the address, the street address. They kind of get.

I don't want an oscar situation where he memorizes that he's just walking around the streets.

We have sometimes I've like done a little test when I've been driving home from daycare to be like I wonder if Marley knows the way home and I've told her like you can like let me know I've left or right, and she we fucking ended up in Penrith. So Marley's she's not very cluede on just yet. So I think it's too soon. It's too soon to try and tell her about like emergencies and like triple zero.

I thought that.

I mean, even like the other day, dude, Marley got some dirt in her eye at daycare. Right, she's very articulate. We can have a conversation, but they had to call me to say, your kids got dirt in their eyes.

Like, give me that phone, I'll explain to him.

So the staff member was like, hey, Marley wants to have a few words, and I.

Was like, like, like final words.

He was such a good dad.

But I was like hey Marley and she was like hey. And I was like, did you get something in your eye? And She's like yeah. I was like, come on, Like kids on the phone, they just lose the ability to have any kind of conversation.

It's because it's like it's doing two things at once. It's holding the phone up and talking.

Yeah, Like, heaven forbid if there is an emergency at home and we're relying on Marley to call and trip Z THERER.

What'ts your emergency?

Hi?

Is there an emergency?

I ate an apple?

Yeah, got in my eye?

Where all screwed? Where screwed?

It is too early? I thought that too, And I had a chuckle because I was in the other room and she was explaining it to him, and I'm like as soon as she started explaining it, I was like, here we go.

This would be good.

This good.

I guess it. It's the foundation of Macy.

Steals, one of my toys. Do I call the police?

Police knocking on your door? I know? So I did the conversation that I had with Marley which I now, in hindsight no, was a really stupid one to have was And this is off the back of rip. My brother's dog passed away, very sad and we had some photos and some videos of Rex, who was now no longer with us, my brother's dog, and we were a bit upset, and Marley was trying to understand, like why you're upset, my well, because the dog has passed away. And I said to Marley, like, everyone gets old and

I know, I know why, you know, Like, I mean, look, you're not wrong.

With a look on her face, I was like, you know, even daddy's going to die.

Oh no. I used to always think when I was a kid, what are they going to do with all my stuff? And I remember I had a PlayStation one at the time, and I was like, who's going to get Who's.

Going to get my PlayStation?

What are they going to do with it? I don't know, is there she'll forget in like she won't. Yeah. Osca hasn't said anything about the emergency course since.

I've definitely seen him try the.

Two button thing on the iPhone, because you do that for long enough ago when what is it when you call? It doesn't have the quarter.

It's not the triple zero. It's the one one too emergency call, isn't it? Where does that go?

Is one one too?

That's like, that's the emergency call that's thirty.

Three years old and I'm just learning what one one too?

Do you not know? April is telling emergency?

Police, emergency, laundry emergency.

April is telling you guys about the emergency, and you and Oscar sitting there be like, oh wow, yeah.

I was secretly out of the room going oh.

Yeah, interesting.

I'm learning that we desided repair or repair.

We don't know what we do. We don't know what we're doing.

Because Matthew, it is time for Budgie Smuggler's Most Ordinary Parent it is.

I've got a great submission here, Ash, which I don't think it's going to be the winner. So to Caitlin who submitted this one, I'm sorry it was good not good enough.

Pipped at the Pope. We'll see. I don't know, could you be persuaded?

You haven't told me what yours is, but you've got a very big glint in your eye. I feel like you've got a good one. So no pressure. I haven't heard it. So my one is from Caitlyn. Shout out to Kaitlyn. My husband has taught up two and a half year old to get him a beer from the garage fridge.

That's quality.

Should I say she isn't quite up to pouring mama a glass of wine? Maybe next year.

That of look honestly not bad.

Howard's macy two. Imagine if she in six months time, do you think she would be enough to get you a beer from the fritze?

She did do this, Okay. When we were in Bali, I had a beer side of pool was a can. She picked it up, walked it was a little shallow pool. Yeah, for those of you not watching, it's like deep deep. Yes, it's tiny. Yeah, grabs it, walks it over to me, gives it to me. I had a sip and I was like being a cheeky bugger, gave it back, She walked it back. Ordinary parents.

Very good.

That is good. So I do like, I don't mind that.

I think that's impressive.

It's impressive.

Impressive also like my kids impressive parenting. If you ask me, my kids they like no chance, even if it's taking a bowl of cereal that has like a droplet of milk and the wheatbits sink like that. Shit's going everywhere.

I've caught Masie. She'll actually put like a leftover host in the bin like there, right, it's one of those.

She can't talk, but she's very domesticated.

But so it was yesterday she had a bowl and an old bowl of cereal, but the cereal like dried up, you know, does that? She walked over to the bin and like tipped it out into the bin. I was like, oh, that's good. And then she just took a look at me and just put the bowl over the bin and went and dropped the ball straight in the bottom of the bin.

Get rid of it.

It's one of the good balls.

Anyway, I think I have this week's winner, but look, hit me, you be the judge. So this ordinary parent message comes from someone by the name of Flick. Don't know what their real name is, might be their nickname like for Felicity, or maybe her name's Flick. My three year old has a library at Kinder. Every Thursday, he always packs his book inside the library bag himself to return. I don't even check because he always does it later that day. I received a call from child care. I

Me, damn.

Going, how is that playboy?

Yeah, I wonder how the kid explained why the pages are stuck together so that I believe is our winner this week. That's great.

That's what you get for using magazine.

Still, that's what you get for trusting your kid with anything, Like I don't even have to check. He's such a good boy.

He's at school, deal and porn out to the other three.

He wants a photo.

He wants a picture of my mummy's tits.

Anyway, If you want a chance to win.

Two hundred dollars worth of Budgy Smuggler gear right leading into summer, perfect time, please send us your ordinary parents stories or ordinary family member ordinary anything really ordinary pet either DM or you can send us an email to d D at autlook dot com, which is t widd at Outlook dot com dot a.

You what a big thanks to Budgy.

Fore, thanks for Budge for sponsoring this segment. And we'll be doing three more this month, so there's three more chances just this month to win.

Can I ask ash?

No?

You have all going to ask anyway, because I'm not little bitch. Regardless of what Marley and Lalla think of me.

I know they text me all the times. Dad's look, bitch.

Can I just ask no? It's a fucking podcast, man, No.

My questions, Suddy?

Can I say something? Absolutely not?

No, my questions?

Can you stop fucking coughing?

I'm doing it outside. I'm trying to try my.

Why couldn't you be this aggressive with the four year old in the library.

Because I was scared? Okay, yeah, she was looking at me.

It's like in step Brothers and they can't walk past that particular park and there's kids and then.

What are you looking at?

Essay that little girl? Great, you're gonna ask me a question.

What it's gonna be an interesting episode?

You were gonna ask me a question? Yeah, okay, you shut it down, all right? So Matthew listener questions.

Or so people can ask questions now. And I'm not allowed. Is that how it works? Okay, okay, I hate when I fight with you. This one is from Sarah and she says, how can you tell if your kid is ready for school?

Oh?

Why she's asking us that question?

Not sure, I'll tell you why because she's probably thinking about sending a kid to school.

Yeah, but don't come to ask. Well, you're telling kids to funk off.

That's me. Look, both of us have kids the same age.

Is Oscar going to school or kindy next year?

No? No, he'll go to preschool again next year because.

He's like, your preschool is like a daycare though?

Right? Yeah? Because June middle of the year, same as Marley, the only week apart. It's a tricky one because like, do you want them to be a little fish in a big pond or a big fish in a little pond. You don't want to send them and them not be ready and get caught behind, and that could be detrimental to their developed That's what I've.

Ship anyway, dr ash, so you don't send them.

To that's my one drinking voice seems like a glass of wine in my hand. What do you think we should send these kids?

Off the wall? Well, I say, that's a young, strapping, young boy. Let's put him in the draft.

So long story shot, Oscar's not going next year.

Well, Oscar's not going next year because he's a little bit slow. He's he's only a little boy man.

He wouldn't be ready.

He can't concentrate yet on his own.

I think I'm the same.

Well, they're a week apart.

With Marley. I think she in some aspects she's advanced, like to or she's an amazing drawer sit it down with some coloring impacts.

Do you think that's how he's going to win people over at school? They're going to be like because.

That's the thing.

It's all about independence, right, She's going to be like, now, Marley, why have you done?

This is a job picture?

Well, the thing is she's not a great sharer, and she she has big emotions still, so like if she wants to do something and she can't do it, she absolutely flips out like she has a full meant to be so, and I thought I'd rather hold back a year until she can kind of emotionally wise, she's a bit.

More experience as well.

But I've got a little checklist here, rash, so we could just to make sure we are doing the right thing.

Okay, I thought we were going to rally. Am I going to answer them?

Will you ask them about both of our children? Maybe at the end of the little checklist, we'll go ship.

We're going to send all the nearest public school, because that's all I going forward.

So apparently this is from a website, not from.

US, just some website.

It's some website.

It's what are the cred entries on this website?

It's a daycare website.

Oh wow, must be accurate, Yeah.

It must be accurate. Number One, they can communicate, well, yeah, yeah, Oscar's pretty good.

He to fine communicate.

It says here, what do they need to be able to say or recite? So it's more so about like following instructions.

Okay, Oscar's a dim weit so no, look, yeah he can follow instructions, but he needs to be really really. He is at the point where he's like, if I go do this, and it's like very obvious why he should do that? He go, why, So.

That's good man, he's questioning.

Yeah, that's the problem. Keep questioning me.

Okay. Number two, sit still, No, Marley can sit still with the iPad.

Just send to them to school.

Yeah, YouTube kids number three, you uses the bathroom independently. Yeah, Oscar's ship story from two episodes ago. So yes and no we fine pooh, not so much.

Depends if the school wants shit all over it.

Wiping is the kids.

Since that story, Oscar is really getting He's getting better, But like, I wouldn't trust him in the public toilet.

No, No, it's up to Marley.

I thought i'd say that about myself. I wouldn't trust that going on.

Public number four connects well with others.

Yeah, Oscar's pretty good, but he's so timid sometimes he he would be the sort of kids that be like but.

I think all kids surely will be nervous right going in.

Yeah, I think like he would probably all right after like a week or so.

But where I saw Marley in an environment where I thought she's not quite ready. One of the kids at her daycare had a birthday party. He did tell me about that, and it was so obviously segregated. The kids are running around playing games, those who were going on to KINDI or school the next year, and those who

Yeah, I think yeah, Oscar would be the same. I think it's his age. Be fine. But if you start to put a couple other kid because there's like you one year tube and they are such they are bigger kids. Man like dude, Yeah.

Because a little boy I think he is, he's tying. Marley could take him. He's very tanned right now, very tan.

Anyway.

Number five, last one. They're good with their motor skills.

He can't drive well, he probably could drive better than me. He's not going to drive himself to school.

Okay. Can he throw a ball?

Yeah? Can he jump yeah?

Can he climb?

Yeah?

Mate, he's ready, Send him in.

Send him off to walk.

I say these kids are very good off of war.

But I'm sure people are listening right now, going you guys are doing the wrong thing.

Maybe we are, fuck you, they're my kids. Man, I'll probably get the people being like you are severely liminiting your child's potential.

But man, I would rather I would rather send Marley when she's ready and confident rather than having to be like the one trying to keep up with the other kids. And also daycare finishes the five and school finishes it three.

I don't want to marry that earlier.

I'm not ready for that.

It's like it's the old thing where it's like every kid's going to be different. Okay, so people are going to come at us. It's like your kid might be there. Your kid might be same, exactly the same age and be there with all of those skills and be there with all of that maturity. Mine is not.

And I love it when you get serious.

I know I can switch it up.

Gosh, it's sexy.

I can switch it up big time. Just you wait, some really serious stuff coming in my monologue. I get my glass of wine and we talk about my monologue. Your question, Oh there's another one, Matthew. I don't know who this is from, but very good question for dads. Fellow dads, how do you on your fellow dad tribes

I don't think I Oh no, I've not really had like a trumb of dads. My friends that had kids moved into state back to Queensland.

Away from here, and.

So those of friends who were still in Sydney didn't have kids and.

Mysteriously changed their phone numbers.

That's really strange. I feel like when you don't have kids, you don't want to hang out with people with their kids like that.

Me and my friend with no kids just sent me the other day and it was like me showing you to see the pictures of my kids and the glasses.

Totally. I remember like even inviting friends, those friends who didn't have kids to birthday parties.

Or come over and see my kids.

Yeah, I'm good, Like I'd rather, I'd rather go into the beach.

Have you got a dog, I'll come over and see that.

Like you don't wanna, you don't want to be a part of it. So now some of those friends have got kids, they've just recently given birth.

They come and crawling back to you.

Yeah, and you're like no, because we've done.

Please please, I need my friend take anything. Because we didn't have we're not like you ash Well, we didn't.

Have that bikable I'm on today.

Sorry, we didn't.

Have the quick wit gets me sometimes.

Man, Yeah, you I thought you were you were lacking midway through. You've come home strong. You've always been a strong finisher.

Tell that to April and they're coming back.

We didn't have that mother group even even I remember there's a church down the road here and one of my old neighbors was like, hey, on Wednesday. They used to have the kids on a Wednesday. She's like, we go to the church and there's like just all these other parents.

There, all these other god botherers.

Oh I'm not religious at all. And I initially was like, I don't want to go to church. Dude, Like five bucks, you do a quick prayer at the start.

There's always a cost with these people.

Then they feed you then yeah, so I was like great crackers and wine. Yeah, I mean that I'll do a prayer and pay five bucks if it means I get food and then my kids.

Can play what's on the menu.

It was like your sandwiches and like my friends going, yeah, it options no lobster what I'm used to, but it was it was like the easiest way to chew up two hours. There was not a single dad there, and I was like, I was like, kee some milks. It's very disrespectful to call mother's mills and a compliment.

How do you think it's compliments? Yeah. Look, I've been really lucky because April had a really good mother's group, which was spoken about on this I had because it's not a mother's group anymore. It's a dad's group. It's dude's crew now. So I've got a tribe. So you'd be careful, young man.

I don't care old relationship. Tomorrow, I'll be fine.

You cry yourself to sleep every night.

Is there a hattie? Then spend time with the different groups.

So I've got so mother's group is really good because there's going to be dads involved, not all the time. There can be two mums. It's a good way to meet other dads. But look, it's kind of like a lucky dip in a way where you could be like you could all gel or people could be on different paths just fine as well. I can get really serious and I'm not serious.

You can change gears so very quickly.

It's concerning can you do it in your wine voice? So what I would say, you couldn't find a fenny mixed bag of people that.

Why is he going to tell you.

That's right? Anyway? So you could get like a group you gel with, or you get a group we don't jail with. But like for me, we got a group we gel with. But then also all of my friends that I would hang out with regularly, bar one or two of them, which are the ones that are just like, I don't want to come over and see your kids, they all had kids at the same time. So I got really lucky that I had a really big tribe

You blended them together.

I've blended, and I've successfully blended. I'm on one today anyway, So I blended the two ones.

I did. Actually, can I just say not to make it sound like I'm a complete fucking loser.

I did.

I did find We found a friend in the park.

Yeah, found a friend, Thank you.

I know you have been approached in the parks before by other part I beat it. Count not into that. If any tips for people wanted to be friends with that, do not approach him in a park. He is not willing.

I am not approachable. No, if you want to say good day, that's fine. But if you bloody coaxed me into a playdate, brah No.

We had it was like I think the third third time on the weekend, because we have like a regular parks that we attend and you see the same face.

You do the drive by. There's enough people there, battles keep going.

But we saw the same family and then we had a quick chat. We had some similar friends, you know, separated by.

Sure, some keys in the bowl.

Next day we're all hanging out, so we have we don't see them enough because we're being very busy.

They've moved away too, they did, they did move house. They did move.

I was surprised you've lasted this long with me to be yea.

Yeah, yeah, very patient.

Are not going anywhere?

Yeah, I'm tied to the desk. So you've got a new friends.

That's what I'm saying.

We're saying it's going to replace me.

No for two weeks. I'm just saying, like you're like, well, you know, me and my fifty mates went to bar because I've got so many and I'm.

A likable guy like I do. I'm not going to apologize for being a likable guy, and I would never expect you to apologize for being an unlikable guy.

Anyway, she got new friends, what are the names? And we will allowed to shout the mount on?

Well, no, I don't want to.

And they've got two kids. I got two kids.

Yeah, yeah, similarly sure not looking.

In the mirror.

He's good looking.

They are good looking.

They are very good looking at I mean.

They're fit, they're strong.

Sorry, cam me out. I am unfit and weak.

No, so I I think Long story short, what I'm trying to say is, if all else fails, go.

To the park lots.

Repetition, try and spot the same people.

Try and like you when you were like a young kid and you did things around other kids that they might like, so they'd be like, I like that too, So you do it. Just get close and you do an activity that that other person might like, Like, I'll be like.

Throw us another beer, Babe?

Did you hear me? Why are you saying that I like beer too?

The guy's like, you're drinking beers at the part.

Fuck? Yeah, bro, I need to be stopped. Anyway. That's a enough today.

Would you like to do the wrap up?

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If you enjoyed this episode, please give us a review, a couple of stars, a few comments. We would love that. If you think there's anyone out there who would benefit from listening to this fucking mental episode, send it their way.

I think people just needed to see my versatility.

Yeah, stretch that muscle.

I'm gonna be gonna I'm gonna be tired later.

Yeah. Good thing you're getting public transport back home, because you would not be able to make it there if you're driving by yourself. I think that's it. I think that's everything.

I think that is. Thank you as always.

Goodbye, see you later. Two Doting Dads Podcast acknowledges the traditional custodians of country throughout Australia and the connections to land, see and community.

We pay our respects to their elders past and present and extend that respect to all Aboriginal and Torrestraight Islander people's today. This episode was recorded on Gadagal Land