I've Been DAD-SHAMED !!

He comes to the dog to ruin the record.

Why what the dog is that?

That is a cat?

Welcome back to two doting dads. My name is Mattie J.

And I'm Ash and this is a.

Podcast that would you believe it? It's all about parenting Ash. It's the good, the bad, and the relatable because there is lots of it.

There is a lot to relate to.

I feel no advice, no advice, no one thing we have nothing of. It's advice. Yes, the relatability container very full. It's overflowing advice.

Every now and then I think we accidentally give some advice, like this morning. I was checking the DMS once.

This week, but I don't believe it.

And someone said, I'm about to travel to France with my kids and they just did a quick trip to the Gold Coast is like a test a trip and now were apparently the kids were fucking mental. She's like, should I postpone? And my advice was don't postpone because then they win.

Don't give up.

Don't give up because you can't let them beat you. That's my advice.

Do you think do you think? When she as she when she asked that question, do you honestly think that she would have postponed the trip if you were like, look, whatever her name was, I think you should not go cancel at all.

Let's test it. I'll I'll just go scrap that postpone until they're in their teenage years and they can carry your bags.

Yeah. She goes to a husband. She's like, actually, I've got some sound advice from someone.

Yep, someone with no credibility and whatsoever.

Our European trip is no more.

Yeah, so or they haven't been back to Parafrance. You've read the whole thing I did, But she was probably hoping that you read it, not me, because she probably got some actual solid advice. I've said, just give them a heap of male atone and strap yourself in.

From ash, we've gone back to the Og where it all began.

They sold ten million liters of this beer in one year.

That is absolutely bloody crazy. We are, of course talking about better beer, of course, very good friend of the podcast, Yes, and the Og the better beer. I don't know how many people know this, but it is zero carb, zero sugar and also locales.

How many cows have you guess?

Have you guess? Twe game between between seventy and ninety What do you reckon?

Eighty seven? Bang on?

You are? You are good? I'm good not just a pretty face. So I guess in terms of beer, it's one of the healthiest and also one of the most delicious.

You know what, next week, let's jump on the MIDI compare, compare the pair as they say.

Well, I've got no Harbor ales left, and Laura's taken all my zero OUs has she?

Yeah?

She drank them?

Are what?

Yeah? Well I had a few left after dridg July and then and I looked at the fridge and I was like, they've all gone.

So we've got midies for next week.

Next week?

Yeah, okay, But for now, let's enjoy the original little crack. Oh yeah, day for it. Mm cheers. Have you ever had a content violation? You're a very crisp, squeaky clean man.

I have only on Facebook.

What about a comment violation?

Oh? The only thing I've done. I told you this story before when Laura was live streaming on TikTok and it was before the live show for Life on Cut And as we were back.

Cheeky plug of Life Uncut then.

We Love Love, I was backstage and I said, there maybe one hundred people on the live stream, and I said, if we get another hundred people, I'll take my pants off as a joke. I wasn't actually going to take my pants off.

TikTok doesn't joke around.

They were on I'd say, fifteen seconds later, stream shut down.

Wow, really you were in the dog house after that.

It was not good because then we couldn't livestream for the live show.

You sat it to her.

I guess I didn't think they'd be able to pick up on words that quick, real quick. The only thing I think I've done in the comment section would have you done Ashton.

Same thing TikTok in the comment section. So I'll paint you the picture. I think it's a bit harsh because I was trying to make the content funnier because it wasn't that funny. It was a girl who bought a dress from Sheen or Sheen, that monstrosity of.

A company sh Ei n I guess, so I don't.

Know anyway, So she bought a dress from there that was obviously not what it looked like in the picture. It was like really silver and it was kind of like alfoyl. So she looked like she was dressed in alfhu. So I went to the comment section and I said, you look like a jacket potato.

Not bad, right, well, because if you're being referred to as a like a jacket potato wrapped in our foil, absolutely ticks the box. I can see the resemblance.

But if you reported it ever to.

Say to someone you look like a potato, like a potatoes, you know, it's quite a round vegetable.

Look, it's not that bad. I said, you look like I didn't say you are a jacket potato. So do you look like a jack of potato? Anyway?

Why didn't you say like corn on the cob, wrapped it out like na? Why do you see like a carrot?

You look like I thought it was being clever. I thought this is a clever comment. Ha ha ha ha. I laughed at myself about it.

Anyway, Get well, sometimes on TikTok you get a viral comment. Yet you know, the more like you get you move to the top.

Yeah, and I was hoping for that. I was having for stardom. Anyways, I get there, I get the violation overnight. I was like, I get a violation for it. I checked it but she's reported it obviously because she's like, this is fat shame.

And does it say to be fair for this comment? Is you know what it's for or is it? Is it a mystery?

It was just a mystery. Must have been like what else would be. I didn't shame food like she must have thought I've fat shaped or I've poked fauna. Not the intention because it's not one of those words is offensive. She split them up, jacket potato different. They're physical things anyway. So I went back to the video, Oh god, oh god, and I recommented.

Were you angry at this point? Nay, okay, No.

I was like, I'm going to right the wrong. So I wrote, it looks like what a jacket potato would wear.

Much better reported.

Anyway. That was this week, and I was like, so I'm just going back and forth.

Did you go again for a third bite?

Not yet?

Will you?

I will, and I'll try to be more specific about the jacket potato, and I'll be like, if you were a jacket potato, this is what you would look like. Or if a jacket potato was wearing this, that's what it would look like. It's not I'll keep you updated.

Just stop. TikTok hates me. My videos get a thousand views now, But one thing that I have had a few times is a comment go kind of viral and it feels good. So it's the only win that I'm getting on TikTok. It's like when.

Someone what's viral to you?

Though? I mean, I think it was someone doing a big jump on a BMX bike and I wrote, oh, that's got to hurt or like he'll feel that in the morning, and got like a thousand likes.

That's great, and that's gotta such a general dad comment too, and it was.

Just straight to the top.

I got, well, I had one right, and it was a video of a guy CCTV footage of a guy stealing meat at a grocery shop, but he was all in Camo and I said, what do you mean there's no one in this video? Hey, I think the last time I checked is like ten or fifteen thousand lie, which is better than any video I've ever done.

I'll be honest. It's slightly better than the Jack of Potato comment.

I thought I was trying to make her content better.

Still full of confidence after the Camo.

Comment, I know, I was like this is going to be funny. You look like a jacket potato. Such a weird reference.

I just get the comment section on TikTok, I get it. The kids were like, the.

Kids will love this, but she obviously didn't like it. But anyway, I'll keep you updated because I know you want to know what's the next on your list?

What do you get?

Next? On my list? Is I was dad shamed, parent shame.

That comes as no surprise, but let.

Me explain myself. We went for a walk on Saturday to the park, the cafe, which you know is in between that and the park, stop for a coffee, a couple of baby chinos for the kids. And usually with baby chinos, what do you get on top of that? A marshmallow thing like that? So I know them quite well. So I went in, well, quite deep in the line. I got the kids marshmallows before to keep them happy because there was just they were like, where is it?

Where is it? So I've have no patience.

I don't understand.

So you've gone to the till you're going to reach around.

Reached around on the barista first.

Did you go tongues or did you go your grub grubby?

Oh, I'm a local. No, there's a spoon spin. I didn't spend anyway.

It's fine because you're not touching every single marshmallow. You're just touching the ones you're going to grab.

Yeah. Yeah, the kids are happy. You're not little, you know. And I've give them to the kids anyway. Then I'm talking to the barista as he's making coffees and he puts the baby chinos there and he puts a marsh mellow on top of each of them, and I went, you know, I don't want to give the kids more than one because they'll be fucking mental for the rest of the day. So I've snaked the two marshmallows and

Is this on par with like the Jack of Potato comment. She's like, this is hilarious, and you're like, I'm reporting this.

Yeah, I could have reported her. I would She said you're the worst parent.

No.

Yeah, but I don't know.

If she was joking sleeping. I'm sorry.

I didn't know if she was joking, but she said it so many times and I couldn't explain myself, and then she just took off. So there I am standing being absolutely parent, shame for not giving my kids too much sugar's trying to do the right thing. I also wanted to eat the marshmallow, but she flat out said you're a bad dad.

Maybe she's seen you do others.

She's not wrong, but I can't believe she's figured it out.

Maybe she listens to the podcast.

It was a misunderstanding. It was a misunderstanding.

I can appreciate how frustrating that would be.

She wouldn't even let me get a word in to explain myself. She was badgering me. But I don't know if she was joking. She must she must have been joking. Oh like maybe your age forty?

No, I feel like, was that whole story just to set up to Yeah, like if she was joking. If she was joking, she would have been like, hah, tap on the shoulder, you're doing a great job. She would have turned It would have taken a U turn at some point.

I don't know if she thought she knew me. Honestly, it happened so quickly that I just felt nothing but shame.

Hm, well this is this is a real mystery. Ash.

Look, if you're listening, I didn't appreciate it. You ruined my weekend.

I don't believe that.

I don't really care. I was kind of like, but the irony, I am a bad the irony.

And that the one thing you get shamed for is when you're actually trying to be a good guy in your life, all the things that you could get in trouble for, and you're trying to limit your kids sugar intake, and that's what brings a member of the public over to point at you and go, you're fucking terrible.

I know. And it was like I was really trying to be like on your a game. That's what I get for trying to be a good parent. I'm just not going to try anymore.

Don't try.

I try. I'm not going to pick my kids up from kind can walk on. I've got one more please. Uh. I just like, so much has happened, I feel like might just happen in one week since I've seen you, since you ditched me for Laura for the Logis.

Anyone wondering right now? We sometimes record these episodes a little bit in advance, so we are recording this one. I know it'll come out a little while after the logies, but this is the first time Ash and I have spoken post logis and he's a little bit hurt tender.

Yes, very much. So it's been You couldn't watch I couldn't watch it play out, Okay.

The awkward thing is. The awkward thing is Ash and I had the option to maybe go to the logis. A different brand that was working at the Logis are a sponsor. They didn't go with us. In the end, they ditched us, and at the same time Channel seven asked Laura and then I also got asked to attend. Unfortunately, Ash wasn't requested to join us.

Wonder why freeze the crowd?

Apparently, and even though it's my wife, Ash was not happy.

No excuse, no excuse. There's a video on our socials if you want to go. That's how hurd I was. I made a video about it.

You can't even look at me in the record.

I'm just upset.

I'm sorry.

I'm not angry. I'm disappointed.

I've never seen you so sensitive. I didn't realize you had these type of emotions. I thought you were just this hard shelled, cold hearted son of a bitch.

I am what happened?

Who are you ash? I love you?

I was dad shamed on when I say that. Okay, I believe you.

You're special to me.

So anyway, something else has happened that I wanted to talk to you about and actually maybe asked the least.

I want to love you.

I need time. Your third thing, my third thing that I wanted to just bring up. I have a fourth, but I won't. We had pajama week this week. This will be really quick before my third think this is like a two point five pajama week. Great love the concept. Disagree, look out of bed, off to KINDI not my problem. You need to buy your kids more pajamas because I know what you're going to say. And the pajamas are all dirty, so.

You would you'd obviously take them in the same pajamas that they were. Yeah it's fine, Yeah, that's fine. And then would you would you get them changed or you would you go straight back into bed in the same pajamas.

No bath, new pajamas, wash the other ones or whatever I've gotten. They've got enough pajamas. Do you know what? They wouldn't have pajama week as adults because I stick naked. What about sleeping naked? Also is such a generational thing. My dad's generation, big naked sleeper. I reckon that whole generation. We're just like fuck it.

They get home from work, hands down, hair out in the nude.

Yeah. Anyway, so pajama Week big fan. But my third thing that I want to talk about.

Can I just really quickly if we can just go back to pajama week for just a second.

I didn't think you wanted to talk about it anymore, is it?

I mean you're just steamrolling through this is Can I talk on this podcast?

This is my time?

Okay, fuck pajama Week, We'll continue.

Okay. This could also be a question for the listeners too, because I want to know. So, I was at a party. Was at a kid's birthday party? As you do, it seems as though our lives are just consumed with kids' birthdays pies, and we're looking around the presence there some ship presence everyone in life gets. I was junk, you get dealt a ship present here and there and will mate, we're standing around the presence, look and see what we

You guys are used to running with that.

Yeah, I'm going to run with until he realizes told you this. Seeing that the meme with the guys forty.

I posted it on two dotting Dads and I don't know if people got it. I don't know if people understood that because Ash is a bad parent and he doesn't give doesn't give his kids birthday parties.

May get one because it's my favorite.

So yeah, look at the look at the presence, looking at.

The presence, and we were talking about ship presence that we've got. So the questions to the listener is, can you please DMUs what ship presence your kids have been given? Not what you've given them, but another member, a family member has given them.

And whilst we don't want it to be awkward where we oused these presents publicly, but I would really like a photo of what the president is. I mean trying to take it in a way which if we were to publish it on two doting dads. It's not going to be like Ernie Carroll going, how's this ship present? And she's like, oh, that's.

The monopoly game that Billy's won. You can't play. It's the present that your kid has been given. And you're like, why the fuck did someone buy that or give them that? Or it's like there's always that one weird family member who tries to give your kids something that they're like, oh, you know, this is sentimental, and the kid's like, fuck off.

I wanted to Barbie.

So we were looking around and then the guy I was was telling me a story about his dad's not very good with kids. He said, this Christmas just gone. My dad, trying to be a good grandfather, has brought his daughter a nice jacket right for Christmas.

Lovely.

It's summer starters, so you make wrong season.

Could have got it on sale maybe, but continued.

Yeah, anyway, so they got this jacket and he was like, in theory, great, it's like great dad, good job, like you know, gave him a little pepper. Got home. They thought they'd try the jacket on. Granddad has bought her a dog jacket, and he said, we really realized when we put the hood over and then there was that strap across the middle.

How do you incorrectly buy a jacket for a dog intending it to be for a child.

He was telling me this story, and I was in fucking stitches. I was just like, that is fucking great, Like that is perfect, top level grandparent trying to be involved and just completely screwing the poop.

He's like cooking her dinner and it's just a big old like lambone on.

The funny thing is they didn't have the heart zellium. So he still thinks that he bought his granddaughter a jacket, and he keeps asking did she love it?

She wear it? And they're like yeah all the time. What a shame, what an idiot? Why are men so stupid?

We're just dumb, man.

I do feel though, that you talk about generational divide, and I feel like the majority of granddads, like our parents, are dads. No fucking idea whatsoever how to interact to look after a young child.

No idea because in their day they would have gone to work, get home, done the bath, thing, help whatever I reckon.

They would just come home and the kid's already in bed.

Yeah, that was just and it was like in the car out the front, scrolling on my phone.

For the people this right now, you are a very hands on parent, I am, yeah, that's not true. We're joking.

I'm so hands on that I eat their mushmallows. Yeah, look at it is a very big generational thing. Like my dad is getting better, but you can tell, like he's the sort of grand dad that like he just makes the funny faces now or he puts his foot in it all the time. Like Oscar had a massive meltdown. Four year olds don't understand things. So he was like, we got you a new car toy cut My kid loves cars, and the kid was like, where is it. He's like, oh, it's at our house.

Oh my god. I'm like, why would you do that?

Anyway, he's had a meltdown, and I'm like he thought he was trying to do the right things.

I have at times. I need to always remind myself and I do it. I've done it more than once. Kids have no perception of time, and you should never tease something really exciting unless it's within five minutes of being in front of the child. Yeah, Like if there's I remember the first time saying to Marley, we've got a holiday coming up. She's like, fuck yeah, when and I'm like, in two weeks.

Just got one of those neck pillows on our reading. When are we going?

Yeah?

It's right now, right here, right now. We've managed to with Oscar be the album.

To break out into that song.

What song is that?

Right here? Right now? We're the world wicked?

I thought it was a fat boy right here, right now.

Is going down? Well? Yes? Is that your list done? You've got more?

No?

No, no, no, I don't. I don't have more. I had more to add to that, and I've forgotten. Should we go into our favorite segment, Matthew and why.

Don't I just go fuck myself? Then show me?

Okay, why what have you got?

I've just been, well, have been. I've been here entertaining.

I've been told that people just want me to talk and you listen said that Linda.

Actually I've got a misser.

I get a beer, go on, get.

One pick quick. Well, speaking of Linda, do you remember I think it was two weeks ago we had a great lie from Linda. She was a parent that wrote.

In did I make fun of her name?

We did, yeah, because she says here, thanks for the call out, and I'm very young.

Thank you Ash to find young Linda. There's a toddler.

Her lie was that her kids would ask for a hot water bottle because it's winter, had great hitting in the house, so she would say, I'll be one second. She would just give them a water bottle filled with.

Water, a hot water bottle when they were asleep.

And she said it's great because you know, I'm being water wires. And we were like, we shut on her a bit and we're like, what do you mean you're being water wires.

Because first of all, no, I'm not sorry.

She said she wanted to clarify, okay, and she goes, perhaps I wrote this in a way that was hard to understand.

You called me stupid because you'd been right.

She just wanted to clarify that she never empties the hot water bottle.

Oh see, because you even thought doesn't evaporate.

Yeah. I was like, what are you talking about, Linda?

Jesus, so we don't have this vandetta against.

We are we are Linda, we love you, we are sorry, and we.

Are very matt sorry me not so much.

So she never empties the water bottles.

Right, actually that is water wise, Linda, good job, Good for you.

I have another message here, oh no, from Christy.

I love how you just call on us out for shit we don't know.

Actually this one is. We talked about the fact that I like to check my heart rate very frequently, and I've become.

What's it at right now? Am I getting your going? It's getting that? Does engine reven?

I can't track it. I reckon it to be low, to be like sixty right now.

Because you have such an athlete.

Do you ask questions to just shit on the You should know this, But I think my heart rate it got up to I think it was like eighty five eighty seven one I.

Got written down when I'm trying to beat it. How'd you go easy? Wait a moment? As you get higher or lower? How does that work?

Yeah? I guess, well, it depends how fit you are.

It'd be lower the fitter you are, right, correct, Well, mine's through the roof. Mine's fucking double that.

You're like four two pump sessions. You last any longer than twenty minutes, you're having a heart attack.

Actually, there's heart indition in my family to that.

So I asked the listeners if there was anyone out there who had a partner who did the same thing, and if they could beat the heart rate of ages, just.

Turning all of our listeners and followers into these sex pests, track their sexual activity, also diarize it. Let's get a little thing going here. I like it. Send a photo.

Okay, so I got a lovely message from Christy. Yes, okay, she goes. I don't know if you need to know this information. I absolutely do.

Need to know basis.

But my partner can get his heart rate up to have a guess, Have a guess, one guess again, one twenty one way higher, one.

Fifty higher, shut up higher. He needs to see a GP try last two hundred.

One hundred and seventy to one hundred and eighty bpm.

Fuck, the guy must be like a rabbit.

Christ how is she still?

She'd have some bruises with those gibs?

Doesn't She didn't mention if she's happy about it or sad? I mean, Jesus, she must. They must have a lot of lube.

They must have a vibrant sex life.

I mean to put that into perspective. The highest I've ever gotten, and this is, you know, running like sprinting, I've got to one eighty. That's me.

You stack can't be right, This can't be right. Well, okay, Christy, we want video evidence. Ash wants a video of I don't know if.

It's a flex or. It's like he needs to see GP.

I think, yeah, I would.

Again, I'm not a doctor, but I'm concerned.

Yeah. Then she says, ps, I just listened to your episode talking about that. Just don't really think that I'm being weird.

Here content you're weird.

And then one last one last comment as well as it is a bit of a weird episode, whatever will they all be like this? Probably not.

Look if this is the first time you're listening, this is a bit of a weird.

One, weird one.

If you don't like it, fuck off.

I just want to call us up on something.

You call us out or up, call us up, both, call us up.

Calls up like a heart right, we told a lie previously a few episodes ago that we laughed about that actually is one that could be quite detrimental. Well, I'm sure majority of them can be detrimental. This one more so than others. We've had a few people message us and say, guys, I don't think you should be encouraging this particular lie. And normally when we get that type of feedback and we've been called out, I delete and

What's the problem with that.

It's a bad, bad lie because it puts the fear into children about police oppices. Excuse me as I have a stroke. So you don't want kids to be scared of the police so something goes wrong.

Don't want to be able to trust the police exactly.

We want to treat the police.

What should we be saying. Should we be saying like putting them more in fear of gang members? No, I think I mean like like that the cartel will come and get you. What about I'm really going to scare the ship out of my kid with the cartel?

Now, well, I guess you could just use like firemen though, as like they're scary. He's them.

No, they're like, how often do you look up to the fireman?

Yeah, fireman and the higher kid's got.

The fireman calendar, the shirtless one.

Firemen. They come out pretty good, done it. They're on top of the food chain in terms of services totally.

The sees will come and get here. The State Emergency Service, they're all volunteers anyway, cares about out to the SS. Okay, so what you're saying is we shouldn't make them afraid of the police. Well, how am I going to get my kids to do anything? I'm out of options.

You'll have to go back to beating them unfortunately.

Okay, that was my favorite.

That is the best option.

That is the best option. Let's go into a family Let's go to your family segment.

Yeah, cute music, Tell me Lie, tell me so as a regularly so as a regular list to shut the f as our regular listeners would know.

Every single week, we go through dms on two Doting Dads on Instagram. We trawled through the list of all the lies submitted from parents and even non parents, people who have been told fed lies from their parents that going back into the time when.

They were a chi circle of life. As I like to call.

It is a gorgeous, beautiful thing.

Lying is the best.

We only have time for two.

Every single week. It's a big surprise, and Ash, would you like to go first? I would like to go first, because I did see a d M. But it reminded me. I just didn't like the way it was written. So I'm just going to do the lie how I do it, which is how I get Oscar out of the bath. And this is really common and it's been happening for generations because I remember being told this by my parents. If it's like, get out of the bath.

Well, the hard thing is can I just jump in for one second? The hard thing is kids are evil in that getting them into the bath hard nightmare. Getting them undressed, it's just the worst. But then getting them out of the bath is equally as hard. It's just what do you What do you want from us?

I just don't know what They don't know what they want. But anyway, that's why we dos where we have.

These lives to make life easier for us, not for them. So yeah, you're lying, so help them get out of the bath.

What is it is? Oh, PAULA plug? And essentially you'll go down the drain. Yes, that's a great solid lie, I think, and everyone would know that and everyone was using it. But the other day I was Oscar was still in the bath, Macy was getting dressed to codabed and I think I went out to get his towel from his bedroom and I heard him be like freak out. He was like flipping out and I was like, fuck, like put the hell's ran back in there, and like

Like hanging on for deal life. Yeah. Yeah, the hard thing about the bath is that there's nothing to grip on that.

He was like.

It was like going down and slippery and you're like, you're getting the tower going. What is he?

When I walked in and saw him there completely fine, like thinking he's going down the drain, and I was like, I worked right now he gets out of the bath real quick. Now.

Kids hate that noise, don't they?

I hate that noise. I love it.

Now.

He things like when he's watching the bar the water go down and there's like a toy left in there, he's like, no man like in the Titanic. She's on the door and he's just like Leo's just like so dramatic. What do you got for me, Matthew?

Okay, Ash, this one. I think it's quite clever. Someone's written in and said they absolutely hated silver Side, didn't like corned beef. For those who aren't familiar, Oh yeah, it's a very cost effective cut of meat.

I miss it. Actually, I completely forgot about silver Side.

I saw it at the shops of the day and I was like, mam.

Maries, what do you put your tomato sauce over it?

No, that's Devin Devin or meat loaf, meat loaf, it's mito sauce. But this girl she must have not like red meat. But her dad.

That's like the reddest meat. Even if you cook it, it's still rare.

Her dad, you know, he's he must be like Selfash. He loved it, so he's serving it up. I'm guessing quite frequently. And he said to her, no, it's not beef. It's actually a deep ocean fish, those swimming cows. And he ran for it with his lie for years how many years? Talking about she just said years exclamation and in capital's y E A R S.

Wow. Years that's clever. It kind of gives a little tune of vibe.

Yeah, I think, yeah, I get that, but like just goes how much did he love it so much?

Then he like lie to his kid two years he was like, just get him some ham or just give her a fish, many other cuts of meat.

Barry Mundy's fucking expensive, I mean suicide. It's cheap, dude, get a kilo on that for like four bucks.

I might get some. Can you guys write in and tell me what it's good with?

Thanks veggies, but a mash Yeah delicious.

I want them understand, But I'm going to get some devn. It's just lips and assholes rolled.

Up as before we go, Hey, I thought we'd mix it up and end on to listener.

Questions, really mix it up.

I've got a question here that has come through from one of our great listeners. Obviously, it goes without saying that if you are listening to this podcast, maybe you have a question that, for some unknown reason, you want to have answered by two men who don't really know what they're doing, no expertise whatsoever. We're here at your beck and call this question is how do you navigate your siblings fighting? Do you just let them sort of it out themselves or do you intervene?

Yeah, I suppose Like Oscar and Macy's so young, it's like you can't You're just going to try and break him up. I guess.

I feel like Macey is such a non confrontational child. She's always happy.

Is the devil go on? She just does like it's classic. So Oscar had his legs up on the chair over there the other day and she come over and she just like wiggled the check and he was like, don't like obviously didn't like it, and she knew that and was like wiggled a bit more and stop it. And she's like like really like giving him a good yankin there is some evil and like when they're fighting, there's not much I can really do.

What do you mean you're the parent.

I'm just like putting it. I'm just like I will take twenty bucks on makes it knock out in the.

Rolling pin coming for Oscar and you're like, what am I meant to do?

Well? Like in the last episode Majure Take its Course, she somehow finds the knives so I'm worried for Oscar.

Oh yeah, dude, So I don't.

Fight that much, thankful.

It's hard because I was middle child, what a fire ash, And I remember how bloody annoying it was my little brother. If I lay a finger on him, if I had touched him, if my Yeah, if I came in contact for just the split second, he'd be.

Like, Mom, it's coming for me.

A mom would flip out and like would always come for me. Yeah, he could come at me with a chainsaw, I'd be in trouble.

Yeah, it's kind of similar like with Macy. If Oscar goes anywhere near her, like in any violent capacity, I'm like, he's in big fucking trouble. But like when I was a kid, I'm the youngest of two, not quite such a big family, and my sister was bigger than me, right, so she just just sit on me, and you liked it just to stop me, just because she was bigger. She'd just be like all of weight, Mom said, Like, she would just put all of her weight on me, and it would diffuse the situation.

Just like immobilize.

Yeah, but now I'm much taller than her and she's in big.

Ship obviously we would intervene. We have to intervene.

Yeah, we're not. I'm not put bets on him, and that's chanting.

There's times in the shower because we don't have a bath.

A bath at home, so oh, that's right.

The kids have a little like a little basket of toys that they play within the shower and whatever.

Marley has kids no bath at home.

I know, mate, I know what a shame, but they would just lowly just she's so much stronger than she She's a nugget and we're always like, come on, Marley playing ice and Molly's there like in a headlock, getting like chicken wing by Lola because she's got a little bluey toy.

And I think, like Marley lag I said, she's quite intelligent. I think eventually she'll start to manipulate he. Sheould get hers, she'll get it back on it. But Lola is like a bit of a reckon. Yeah yeah. Oscar's a small boy, to be honest, doesn't need anything. It's like seeing more body fat on the skeleton. Honestly, he's so small, so I think like when makes he gets a bit bigger, she's going to punch the shit out of him. Shame, shame, shame.

Question what you got for me?

My question is we had a listener reach out who is a single parent. She's a single parent raising a young male, and she said, do we have any tips? So, do you have any tips Matthew as a young male yourself, I.

Don't know what advice I've got one? What have you got?

I've got one? So tip from me is, get two sets of towels, a good set of towels and a ship set of towels, so that when he starts dizzing the towel, he does it in the ship tower.

Hang on, you don't.

Want to suck up the good towel.

Are you dizzing in towers? Is that where you were gizz.

You clean it up with it with a towel. Yeah, you don't want him doing it in the good share its you're doing the shitty kmart towers. Get him his own towels, that's my tip. Or heaps of tissues.

I've just got some great visuals of you jacking off into towels.

Yeah, I'll show you.

I thought you'd be more of a sock kind of guy.

Nah, I don't want that.

Tissues.

Tissues, stank sock around it.

It's just a lot of fabric for just minimal liquid. I don't know how much your animal.

Actually, he's something I want to talk about. Since having a vasectomy, I've noticed I'm a squirter.

I don't want to.

There's way more of it. I don't know why. I just think it's more liquidy now because there's no actual swimmers in there anymore. I'm just like a fire hose. Oh my god, towel is necessary. Yeah, so okay. My advice is get a separate set of towels as he grows up.

And I also think I must have been about fifteen. I think personal hygiene is something that it's very easy for a young man to neglect MSH. I remember. I remember I was like, have a shower. Yeah, no time for that. I used to have because also because I'm again one of five MM gave up on some of us. And I shouldn't say we fell through the gaps. And I remember there was one time I had this like light blue bed sheet that was.

Like covered ins it was almost brown.

I didn't, oh my god, I didn't change my bed sheets because I was like, I thought next week, I got next week and then before I know it, it's been twelve months.

Oh my god, I don't know that reminds me.

No, no, no, no, just wait a second, doesn't remind you. Talk about the fact that you're ejaculating everywhere to the point where it's like a five. I talk about missing a couple of shower changing the sheets, and you're like, oh, that's disgusting.

I'm trying to bring you down to my level. So your advice to this particular listener is just give up.

No no, no, no, no no. You're interpreting this entirely wrong. I would say, keep a close eye the personal hygiene from the ages of like twelve to sixteen. That's where it can really like veer off track.

If he's uncircumcised. Make sure he's cleaning behind the skin.

Yes, exactly, exactly.

Your future daughter in law, oh so in law, Well, thank you.

It was quite a clean episode until the end.

Oh we got that. That's all We've got time.

For talk, Its time for Hey, if you enjoyed this episode, or any episode of Two Diting Dads, we would bloody love it if you would give us a review. All you have to do a few clicks of a button, will give us five stars if you want. I'm not saying I'm not trying to force you to give us five stars. Make it as honest as you as you like.

Oh Matt woo, she's on your sheet.

And aso just a few comments. Or if there's any other parents out there who you think, hey, maybe they need just a little bit of comic relief, send them an episode, not just this one, any episode. Maybe what was a funny one? Ash? They're all funny? How am I kidding?

I can't think of what whatevers like.

Nineteen Wow, they're all funny.

Send them anyone, send them anyone.

And if you're joining us for the very first time, go back to episode one because I don't want to sound bias. They're all great. And also give us a follow.

Yes kind of on Instagram. That's really easy because there's a big button that says follow, so we know how to do that. But yeah, thank you, it's all We'll good time for bigger.

Two Doting Dads podcast acknowledges the traditional custodians of country throughout Australia and the connections to land, see and community.

We pay our respects to their elders past and present. And extend that respect to all Aboriginal and Torrestraight Islander people's today. This episode was recorded on Gadigal Land.