Holiday Rules and Being Out-daded

What I was saying, Matt, I'm feeling a little bit old. So last night I was having a wake Yeah, and I've done something to my shoulder somehow.

How hard were you anking?

The usual vigorous? But I've done something to my shoulder. And this morning I literally like, I'm all right now because I've I've had to take some andy inflammatories.

You're fucking kidding me, Oh my god. Welcome back to two Dirty Dads. I'm Maddie Jay and I'm Ash. This is a podcast all about parenting. It's the good, the bad, and the relatable. And look, if you have come to this podcast and for some reason you were hoping to get any kind of advice, I'm so to say that we don't give any whatsoever.

Er.

But if you've come here wanting to hear about Ash during himself as her wanks, then get comfortable because you're in for a treat. Yay, So this morning you're you You've taken an anti inflammatory, You've got your injury.

Yeah, so I said, oh, my shoulder was really sure. Obviously I didn't want to tell her why and I said, oh, I must have been from when I like picked up the dog.

The dog tiny the dog's like the size of a rat. The dog weighs about three kilo.

That's the excuse.

That's even more concerning if you're like I lifted up that pen and I've injured myself. April's like, oh my gosh, you okay, and she said, is it the.

Same reoccurring shoulder. I'm like, yeah, so.

You've done it before. You're going to have to get a reconstruction.

And the doctor, the surgeon is going to be like, what did you do?

I was like, wow, baseball, baseball, cricket, Like I wank a lot.

It was just a very very vigorous mate.

It's a sad reality. I threw my back out literally trying to.

Suck your dick. Let's get off dicks. But you tell us about it.

You haven't done that in quite a while. I just woke up. I woke up and all of a sudden, my back. My back is fucking so I can't. Every step I take is with a breath of the lower back.

Yeah, you're gonna mate like that. He's like always, but he does like, manuel, Aby, what's your excuse? Just slept wrong? Yeah, thing you can get injured from sleeping wrong?

Absolutely, Like, well, even you can't escape.

Like I said, I just want one week without an ailment. I got a pimple inside my nose. That is, I can't even touch my nose. I tried to blow my nose before leaving the house before and I just about died. Whereabouts is it which straws this side up in there? Like it's like there if that hurt?

Well, the good thing is Ash, I can't see the pimple. And you look fantastic. You look well rested. At the time of recording, we are yet to be on stage, but Ash and I've got our first hosting gig. We are doing the Australian Podcast Awards, which I don't know if we've mentioned on the podcast, but we are nominated.

We are nominated, Yeah, in.

The category of best Podcast in Parenting.

They're mental nominating us.

Well we can we can say this will come out after the awards and we already know that we haven't won because we're hosting the awards. We've already got the script and we had a phone call where they were like, hey, this is how it's going to happen. Slid it in there. It was like calling up your partner and you're like Hey, how I good? We should break up and yeah you got your shirts look back.

But my response to that was what sort of world would we live in if we would win a parenting podcast awards concerning I would hate to live in that world. Let the people who know what they're talking about win. We'll just make jokes about it.

Well, I'm just we were up against Hamish Blake and we just wanted to beat Hamish, so.

We technically we did. Yeah, she said you were second best.

She's doing his first big bit of m sing and he's.

A little bit I'm fucking so, I'm a mess. I can't be alone with my own thoughts. That's pretty much from it. I was driving over here and I was like, this is this is bad?

What did you listen to in the drive over?

I just had to put really loud Drake on, but it was just all the sad boy songs.

You will feel so good.

Oh, I know, once we get it done, I know. Look, Look, one thing I do well is talk shit. Yes, very good, but just the thought of doing it in front of that, but it's I need to do it. Yeah, I keep telling myself that I'm good, I'm all right, we'll check it with me tomorrow. I'm fucking shake you know that we're talking about it anyway, because let's move on.

Did you have a good weekend? I know you're away, Yeah.

I just was going to talk to you about that because we're both away. We're both away, not on the same trip.

One day, one day. I hope.

I don't have the budget.

Where'd you guys go?

Just just stated at a local bus stop we went up to Central Coast. One of the mother's group has a.

This fucking mother's growth.

Go on, they have a holiday house up there.

When you you just add who's got the other holiday house down with?

This is like a more This is one down south, different couple. This is a different couple together, but the house is.

How have you infiltrated a mother's group where every second person has a holiday house?

I think they just feel sorry for me. But what this guy to live somewhat of a life like us? Yeah, one of us? Anyway, it's a different family together. But the thing is with this house is it shared between twenty two cousins and aunties and something apparently.

Who has twenty two cousins.

I don't want tomate. You should have seen the family photo. I should have taken a photo the family photo. What was it?

What was the family photo?

Was one of those ones from like the night looked like a ninety sick com but it was like thirty people Anyway, they work on a Google calendar for who has the holiday house, and there's all these rules everywhere, like fully written out, like the house, Like, what kind of rules I took a photo?

Okay, because you know I don't know I've done this, I dare say that, as you were not someone who likes to follow the rules.

This is the house rules. But keeping in mind, this is on the back of the toilet.

Door, so didn't read it out to me?

Okay, I'll read it how show first?

Oh fuck?

Yeah, that's oh my. So let me just rattle off a couple Yeah, you must be eight years or over to plate on the pool table.

That's discrimatory.

Someone's put a cheeky zero next to it. Eighty that's me. All indoor and outdoor gardens and lawns, plants, Sorry, it must be watered, must be before you leave. Did you water the plants after using washing machine? Turn off power and hot and cold water tap? That's fair enough. No children allowed to walk around with food or dirty hands.

Asuugh.

Everything you use must be cleaned, especially the stove, toilet, basin, showers. No perishable foods to be left in the pantry or fridge. And then it's just randomly that's rule six. But then it's got have a nice day. And then it goes on to rule seven. It's like, is it just like a have like a little break in the middle.

The Dad's like, I won't, I won't do too many rules, and then he's like, have a nice day he would have.

He's walked away.

I got another one, the outdoor barbecue.

It's froe of the writing. It's smaller and smaller. Tom. Yeah, all windows and doors must be locked when you leave the house. That's fair enough. All garbage must be taken with you when you leave, fair enough. What about the being outside? Do not add rules to the list.

This is my list, and one will touch it a tan.

All children must be taken with you when you leave. It is unfair to leave them for others.

I mean, I wonder how many times one of the cousins is rocked up and they've opened the door and there's like three children sitting there, like, ah, God, damn, I here again, I had.

To explain that whether were, it must be taken with you when you leave. It's unfair to leave them for others. Why would I leave my kids for others.

He's having a bit of bands here, do you reckon? He's trying to like soften the strictness of the rules by like I'll put in one little joke.

Now, this is the thing, and like I said, keeping in mind, this is on the back of the toilet door, so you shut the door there it is you're sitting down doing your business.

I'm going to say that's a weird place to have the rule.

I know, but then it had this is the last rule. Do not read this notice while on the toilet. Concentrate on what you're doing. I'm not making this up.

Who was this person, Let's find this rule writer.

It's fuck.

Are they? They was something that they could?

Yeah, they were churchy. Not our friends, but the extended family. So the grandmother used to live there before she died. She was the sort of person that was like if it's all these single beds because there was no sex allowed in the house, like unless you were married or at all. She's called them sex parties. No sex parties here.

Well, so then how did you in April sleep? What was this set up there?

Well, we don't have sex anyway, so.

That is a lie.

We're we're in single beds.

You in April and single beds?

Yeah, there we were.

Did you not do you not try and like sneak in together and have like a little cheeky one.

And I didn't want to. I didn't want to be schmited by the Holy spirits?

Yeah, she would have been watching down for sure.

Yeah yeah, yeah, yeah. But it was a it was a really really fun trip. There's one thing that really fucking angered me, and this is just me having.

A win other than the rules.

Rules I thought were funny because I just made a joke about them the whole time. So you can't break the rules. But we went down to like this cafe and park, like a park and whatever, and we're just having coffee and there was a couple there with two dogs, and you know, my thought, dogs aren't kids. They kept

Do they have them in prams? Or that's not as bad?

They went on leads, but they were going, come on, kids, come on, and I was like, they're not fucking kids, they're dogs. That shits me.

I'll let them have them money because we suffer every day because of the kids.

And they essentially, what they're saying to me is that this is as hard as it.

Is for you, or what they could be saying is that they treat their pets with so much love and affection and they value their company so much that they could only ever refer to them not as a pet but as a child.

I knew you wouldn't agree with me.

But disagreeing with you is one of the things that I love to do in this world as.

Yeah, anyway, so that was that that really shited me.

Did you let them know?

I just did the shake of the head a little.

Eye roll, and then did you whisper to someone else? They're not even they're not even better? And how dare they?

How dare they? Their kids have four leggs freaks. Anyway, they're really airy.

Why that was funny, mate.

Yeah, the trip I've been on a few trips with other parents.

I know you have, mate, I know which there's a lot.

Of pros and a lot of content. I just I don't have a list. I'm just going to rattle off what I was thinking. Pros there's extra hands, right because yet they've got kids. But then collectively it seems like it's more easy to manage all these kids when you've got more adults.

I would say it's sometimes it's easier to hide as well.

Well, I'm getting to that. Sorry, So there's more hands. So I always do this, or I'm like, do you mind watching my kids? Well you felt for that. That's how good I am at it.

That tone was perfect, and I was like, just sick and I'll just go to the pub.

Thirty minutes later, I come back and where.

Are driving off down the driveway?

Yeah, so there's that. There's also another pro is that you pick up other things that people do, like tricks and tips and stuff.

Did you pick anything up?

No, I did, subconsciously. But then also cons okay, and the biggest con is that they really when you're around other parents that are really good at parenting, really exposes your poor parenting. So one of the mums is there's very diligent, very loving mum, very good at what she does. I just followed her around.

Just copying her.

Just I was just like, what is she doing that I'm not turns out a lot like she was like, Oh, I'm going to make the kids some lunch. And I was like, yeah, MASI you want to do? You want a sandwich or whatever? And I was like yeah, because she never eats the full sandwich or she just walks around with it. And I was like, oh, I'll give her a peanut butter sandwich, just one piece of bread and I call it a foldover. So you followed it over? Bang?

Yeah, great.

Didn't even give her a plate, which I actually.

I will defend you here because I would say nine and a percent of the time if I give anything to Lola, she's not going to sit down, She's going to go wandering with it. So a plate is just something that's going to a need to be washed later on, or be be broken.

Or find it somewhere else. Yeah, down the track. So there was that, and then by the time here you go, Macy turned around. She's bloody cut and crust off sandwiches and double buttering bread and she's got peanut.

Butter veggie MYI. I love how you're like cheese. I couldn't believe my eyes. She made a sandwich with two bits of bread. You're They're like, holy shit, mind is being blown. She's there like going to the toilet and like doing a piss and a toilet and you're like, what is this how the other half lives?

And I was like, I was like, oh, double buddy, I'm pathetic. So I was sitting there at the kitchen counter and like I was just like, oh, that tastes like just like picking at this. She's made like a full platter.

She's feeding the kids, and you're just like sitting down at the table. Literally she fed me. I was like, Susan, I've got to go to the bathroom. You couldn't could want my ask for me could first.

Watch my kids when I go to the bathroom for an hour. But then like she's doing the sandwiches and stuff, I'm like, whoa diligence is that? What that looks like? And I cuts into squares, also cut the crust off before even buttering it unnecessary? What's that about?

Yeah?

I was like, you really, the crust is the structural integrity of the bread. Little said anyway. So she does that, and she goes to the fridge, opens the fridge, and then I've got distracted come back and she's like cutting up carrots and celery and I was like, what is this. They're not going to eat that. White kids won't. They just don't. But I was like, what do you call it?

She just like, it's just this, yeah.

As my grandmother calls it a snorger sport. I literally just got a piece of bread, didn't even butter the thing. I just slapped a bit of peanut butter on there, folded it over and said there you go.

Question. Yeah, did you feel judged or inadequate in any way?

No?

Yeah, okay, I don't think so Okay, I'm.

Talking about it, dreking.

They're driving home being like, did you see what Ash was feeding his children?

Look, I'm there for the lulls, all right, there for the laugh, not my parenting skills. Just so diligent, and I respect it, respect the player, respect the game. And I was just like, well played.

Did you say anything to her partner and go You've got a fucking outstanding partner here.

No, he already knows well you should.

It would just make him too arrogant if he was to be reminded.

Reminded of the time that your wife can make a sandwich with two pieces of bread.

Hey, what's April doing?

How does that work?

April? Let's not.

I don't know where she was.

Drunk? So April, I'm kidding.

I love you body boos hound isn't she isn't she?

Just isn't she? Bottle of tequila down by the beach.

One off to bed anyway. So yeah, good weekend except for the dogs being called kids hate that, the rules kind of funny, and the exposure of my poor parenting.

I do think being away, like there's very few scenarios other than the park. I guess where you get to have so many other people who you don't know had their parenting on full display. And where we were staying was like a little place, little resort in.

It's just like a really little niche boutique resorts.

No, how should I describe it. It had a pool, it had villas made.

Just tell it what it is. It's a fucking five star resort. It's not, but you earned it.

It's not. It's four it's full star, four and a half. It's four. The minute it's like four and a half. I'm looking at that right now, shure and like there's no need for that.

Well there is a need, but one you're talking.

One of the places where the parenting of others is on display is the pool in a resort, because everyone is there where we were staying like a four point six.

What point six someone's left for a review being like not knife and half.

It was so by the pool. It's this big lagoon pool and it is a great pool there. Everyone's got I was.

Lucky enough to stay there once. I saved up for three years and then eventually got spent one night there.

You fucking you know the manager, you know like half the staff that worked there because you swindling free trips.

Yeah, baby, so anyway, very good at going things for free.

Now, this story, Ash is quite tough for me to talk about. I just that's how I open up. Always makes it about himself. I'm gonna pimple in my nose. Okay, do you want to take a second, carry on, I'll get through it. This story, Ash is quite hard for me to talk about.

Okay, serious, face on.

I don't think I've ever felt so rejected by my child ever. I like to think of myself as someone who enjoys playing with my children. Like I get down on.

The level because you're like a child.

I am like a child, That's what I am. I still look in the mirror and I see an eighteen year old. I don't see a thirty six year old. Does it like? It's not me? I don't feel like i've my children anyway. But there was another dad who we were friends for a brief period about fifteen years ago, lovely guy at the resort, and he was there with his two children. By chance, Laura was getting a massage

Don't trust the stranger man.

And he had two children. One was very similar age to Marley. And as I was walking back to the pool, even before I saw Marley, I just heard happy laughter from Marley time of her life. And I thought to myself, isn't that great, Like it's so lovely that I can just leave Marley with an old friend who I haven't seen in a long time, and she's having a great time. But then when I came back and I was like, hey, Marley, I'm back, she was like fuck, oh, I'm with him now.

I found a new family.

And she was completely obsessed. He was playing these games where he would like pretend to turn around and fall over and and like my kid, Marley just he was I was thank you.

I was out dadded wow wow.

And it was to the point where I was cramp. I was cramping, like yeah, well because.

I had to pretend like I was in trying to coax his kids over to you. I did.

As I came towards one of his children, they were.

Like and I was like predator, preator, predator, And you know.

In those moments were like you don't. I don't know. I just I was like I was crumbling under the pressure. And then all of a sudden, Lola was like, well that looks like a lot of fun. I want to hang out with this guy. And so now this guy and he was also then like trying to back off. He kind of knew that I was. He knew he was to overstep, so then he was like trying to downplay.

I was just like, get inside, Marley, Yeah, just tell her off for it.

I was outdauded but long all day all day, so got a break, yeah yeah, yeah. I was like on the day bed, just like just in tears.

Watching your kids betray you.

Having the time of their life with another dad. It's tough, isn't It Fucking hurts.

It does hurt, But at the same time, it's like, Okay, if.

I could enjoy then, like my own time, because like if Laura was there, it would have been fine, because I don't know, I just felt you felt left out. I just felt left out, mate, I just felt left that.

Kid in the park that was like no one wanted to play. It's like there's always that kid that stinks you were it was I was the stinky kid.

Another thing that I want to say, which is really annoying as a parent to a young toddler. Molly's quite good now. It's swimming. She can pretty much swim by herself. And Lola, she's ton half terrible swim I cannot swim.

Sinker or a floater.

Ah, look she she doesn't sink immediately, takes her a second.

That headed flow surely.

Yeah. Yeah, she like the legs will go down and yeah yeah by the Titanic as it's like before like the last bit of air releases and she's down to the bottom. But she absolutely hates it when you like save her from drownings.

What you meant by your story?

Yeah, And so like if we go to the water's air, she's so confident she'll just run and just jump in the water. And then after the second she'll sink to the bottom. You're like, well, I'll save her. I'll lift her back up. And then we get to the top and she's like, what are you doing to get off me?

I don't want to be saved. Dad, stop it.

And I'm like all right, So then I've put it back on the edge and she just keeps jumping back in.

Make she did the same thing, but she she doesn't mind if you try and save a life. Hated it.

Well.

Oscar was like that until we went to balley just recently and I saw all the other kids that they were better at swimming, and then he's just like leaps and bounds ahead. Now, we were at my father in law's house and he's got a pool and he took his floaties off because he was in like the little spa, you know, a little spark the pool with it. Forgotten that he took him off and then went and jumped in the big pool straight to the bottom.

That's the problem with it.

It was like straight in after him.

Well because everyone's like, just put her in float but then that builds her confidence even more. But was that little thought my head where I was. I was kind of going, don't I let her like panic for a second, just to let her know that she does.

Need a semi drowned just for a moment.

So I'm standing there watching my child like sink to the bottom, and another mom was like, I think you're think of doing kids dead, And I was like, she's fine.

She doesn't want to be saved.

She's fine.

I'm doing a voice over for the lifeguards this week. She doesn't need to be saved. I know what I'm doing.

Meanwhile, Laura comes back from a massage, sees Miley painting with another dad. I'm just watching my child sink to the bottom with a beer in hand. Hey, honey, how is your massage?

She's been holding her breath now for fifteen minutes. Pretty good. She bobbed to the top once and went back down.

Anyway, that was my trip.

It looked like an ass trip. Think you got the weather. We dear in every repair, ordinary repair, we don't know what we do. We don't know what we're doing because repair. So this segment here, people are right in tell us their ordinary parenting stories.

This segment, of course, is run by Budgie Smuggler, our good friends over there coming into summer. What a great time to.

Budgies, What a great time to win some budgies.

It was only dad and budgies at the pool by the way. Okay, ash this one it is from Big John O twenty seven twenty. It's from Nath.

Nath is a NA twenty servant.

Nathan, I don't want to say his last name, but Big John nicknamed to O seven. Hey, guys, love the podcast and listen weekly. I have either an ordinary parent or Genie's parent. For you, guys, I mean the hand in hand, not mine, but heard from another colleague, like how he's passing the buck on someone else?

Should they win if yeah, Big John, share it, Big John.

So they've been having trouble with their child, wedding the bed at night time, countless nights, getting up and having to strip the bed and make it again and move their child into their own bed, and as an absolute ash at like two or three in the morning, this one no. So they decided to change it up and they now make the bed three or four times.

We have had this one. No we haven't, Yes we have, No, we have, and you take the sheet off every time. They weave themselves and they just get back into bed.

From Big John. Is Big John sending it again to try and win?

I don't know. I think it won last time? Did it?

Big John's coming back from another bite of the apple?

Two hundred dollars wasn't enough.

I want more, he says. Here, I'll just go on and say they go like multiple layers of mattress protector. Did the last one to do that? They did? Fuck off? Yes? Did they?

Why would I make that up?

This came through yesterday?

What?

Yeah, it came through yesterday from Big John.

Well, big John plagiarizing mate. Yeah, he maybe didn't hear that we did that one. I don't know. He listens weekly unless he's lying.

Okay, Well, this is wow. I'm shooketh But with shooketh you it just goes to show act that really we're all the same out there. We are.

Yeah, nice charge John, Well, that's this is awkward.

Now makes all my hard work they go to absolute waste.

Well, let me just okay, So this one's from Emma. Look this is a bit long winded this one, but essentially she said, guys love the show. Thank you, Emma, we love you. She was complaining to her mum that her husband was taking her one and three year old out at around three pm, knowing the risk of them falling asleep at the worst possible time, potentially on the way home about five thirty pm. That is a fucking nut man unless they transition really nicely, which they never

So what, yeah, she said.

I asked her what she meant, and she repeated, yeah, yeah, I just spray you with you know, cold water. And she's like, what the fuck. So apparently her mum used to keep a spray bottle in the car for hot days, but it also doubles as a prevention too. That is evil evil. Yeah, that's great, So that's the winner this week.

I hang on, hang on, I actually it actually no, that is the winner because I can't. I don't want to win the award. But I have actually some ordinary parenting for myself. Oh yeah, I wasn't.

Going to let me just finish for Emma. Emma, thank you for that. We appreciate that. I think you should maybe take your mum's advice. Get a nice spray bottle, maybe a bit of lemon juice in the spice things up a bit.

I've got a bit of ordinary parenting myself. I wasn't going to tell the story, but Laura's just messaged me. My phone just went off. You're like, what's that noise? Laura just said that she's told the story on their podcast, which means is out in the open and we'll talk about it. So, yes, I was having a beautiful cuddle with Molly and just keep in mind, this is.

Post until that other dad woked past. No, don't touch it.

So I was cuddling with her and it was beautiful, it was lovely. I was having a moment with my daughter and she just goes and she fared as I was like cuddling into her face on her like tummy, and I was, you know how I feel about farts and when you're putting up with the oars all day today, I was like, Marley stopped, and she thought it was hilarious, and I hate she does it quite a lot. She's very gassy, just like a dad. And I was like, you cannot fart like that. It's really naughty, and she's

I don't do it properly.

I don't want to give it. I don't want to give a pink guy. I just like on her back. She was like laying down watching TV.

He just walked up to a copter squad and went on her back.

Yes, that's fine. It would have been fine if it wasn't for Laura being like, oh my gosh, porch Ball, are you okay? She'll live and you know when you make a fuss over there, And then Mommy was like, that's right, I've been assaulted.

I've been I think it's fair play. My dad used to fart on me all the time, as Jake.

Look, so you turned out.

I'm fine, but I'm fine, But it would have been worse if you followed through on the speaking of actually, let me just wrap up the Budgies smokeing thing before we talk about this really quick. So yes, thank you. Budget smugling For the ordinary parenting segment, We've still got a few more to go. If you've gotten any ordinary stories, d mr or send us an email to d D at outlook dot com. W that's t w O d D at outlook dot com dot you don't forget you, or.

You can hit us up as well on social media at two Doting Dads.

I said that already, did you useless? Anyway? Thank you? I said it to start off with.

No, Yeah, when you listen, I don't really when you talk, I don't.

When you listen, I don't really talk. So anyway, speaking of Marley farting and loving it, Oscar loves it too. They're the same age. They're at that age where farting is really funny.

It's hilarious.

But he's taken upon himself to like notify you when he's about to He's going to push, I'm going to push out of fart, you know, like it's so funny. He's teaching makes you how to do it in the bath, which is a whole other story. But the other day he comes home from kindy, he's really excited to see me in the laundry, like just like sort of feeling around in front of like in front of the TV, and he goes to me, Dad, I got a fart.

I was like, go on, spread your wings, my child.

That's this better be good. And he was like pushed and then his face went from like to just shot. He shat himself. But the funny thing is he's shouted, but it was like he'd been shot, or like he'd been frozen stiff or something like. He just went.

Taser just went.

And he was like like full freak out. Anyway, So I've picked him up and I've carried him up the stairs, but he still hasn't moved positions. So he's like, you know, there's army man. It was like talking up to the bathroom and I was like, you push little too hard. He was like, just cross.

It is scary how much he is.

Just like, I pull his pants down. He's got like a fucking perfect nugget. The PSI on that rocketed out of his heart into the bottom of his underpants, got a hole in his underpan. It was fun It was funny.

That's my boy.

Yeah, but he's been teaching. Macey had a fart in the bath.

It's gotta make you proud. Yeah, he led some let's do some listening questions. I've got a question for you, Okay. I don't know if you're the right person to ask, okay, but I'm going to try my luck anyway. Shoot, Okay, I won't say the name because this I don't want this person to seem like they're being negative openly. Maybe they wanted to be anonymous, but they ask, are there any good parts of parenting? At the moment, it's just all bloody hard work. Ash, give us some good news.

I've got some really good news for you.

What was the question again, talking about how hard parents?

It's hard? Look, it's hard. You can never be prepared, and you think it's like it's all getting good, and then a new issue arises. It's just constant. And then when you ask people with older kids as well, they're like, there's always another warrior just around the corner.

But also small kids, small problems, big kids, big problems.

But I'd also say, look, you know, I'm usually it's all fun and jokes, okay. I would usually just say find the little moments to keep you going.

What are those little moments for you? Ash?

When they try and push out a fart and.

Yeah, I agree, it's hard.

It's hard, but then there's those little moments where they give something back and you're like, yeah, okay, that's pretty funny.

One of my mates is about two weeks now away from having his first child, and it's so funny. It's like witnessing someone walk to the front of the start line of a marathon. But on that marathon, you will lose your shoes, you will get sunburnt, you will get attacked by wild dogs, you'll get shot on, be starving, you'll be exhausted. Like it's like the hardest marathon you'll ever run in your entire life. That only gets harder

Like I said, you can never be you can never be be prepared never.

Yeah.

Look, yeah, it's hard. Like I said, it's hard to find the little moments where you can.

But the moment for me is at the moment. Lola's been a hard one to crack.

You know.

I've spoken about the fact that we didn't bond straight away like I did with Marley, But at the moment we have got this little thing where whenever I put her down to bed, even if Laura puts her down, and Laura's one hundred percent of her preferred parent for Lola, she'll say, I just want to kiss and a cuddle always, and she won't go to sleep unless I give it

You don't understand.

You would never You've never felt love to those parents out there with dogs. You have no idea, But those are the little things that you're just like, oh my gosh, like just getting that little bit of affection from your kids. It's just insane how much of a difference that makes.

Sort of it makes you forget what they did, all the shit things.

Oh totally. It's like I'm sure there's been Our brains are wired to think like that because otherwise, like it's relentless, it's.

Oh, it's relentless, hectic. Yeah, I've aged so much in the last four years. That's just partly my fault. Th Matt. Question for you personally, I haven't had to deal with a lot, so maybe you can answer the question how do you deal with judging parents?

So like other parents, I don't have to deal with it that much. I think guys are pretty lucky in that we just get on with it. The bar is so low, like the first generation of dads who are actually doing anything. Yeah, So like the fact that we're just like in the room means that people are like, good job, well.

Done, Oh my god, that dad's what he's not absent.

You take the kids to the shopping center for groceries and like a boomer.

Mum is like, oh my god, it's such a good dad.

Wow, just loan away. But I think the only bit of judging that I got the other day was I did that video about when your totaler becomes more affectionate as they're about to be hit with a virus.

And Lola's you're going to say, after you hit with the car, just a virus, you're about to be fa.

And Lola's got a dummy because she's doing half loves a dummy. Still, it kind of got a little bit viral, that video, and it got picked up by an American.

Audience anti dummy.

Yeah, Like, I got viewed five million times.

And I do you want to just repeat that? I remember when I had my first viral video.

Yeah, fair. As soon as I left my mouth, I was like, fuck damn. It shouldn't have said that. But a few mums were like, you're like doing it, like you're doing it wrong on repparable damage to your child's mouth structure and teeth.

And I know that.

I think it's like past four or five or something that stuff to like change the shape of the teeth. But I was like, for a moment, I was like, maybe I should like stop the dummy and like but then I'm like, who the fuck are these people? And why do I care what they say? You just got to be water, Which is easy for me to say. I know that, Like, there's a lot of people out

It's like working your ass off at a job and then someone just coming in and going you're shit at it.

But my only advice is if you are someone who may judge, if the child is happy, it's healthy, Like it doesn't matter, ah, Like if you know people can do things differently. Some people will do sandwiches with two pieces of bread, some will only do one without butter with a crust on.

I feel if the child, I feel you're judging my parents.

Don't be a judger, for God's sake. And if you if you want to say something on social media, like just don't unless you know the person, take.

A deep breath before you throw your two cents in fucking Doris or Maureen is like it's just not needed, especially like the end of the day. Like sometimes when like say you've had a bad day like April for example, if she's had the kids all day and I've been off doing some work or been here this is work, but you know, doing whatever, and then I get home and she's fucking cooked, and it's like me walking in a saying while the socks dirty, It's like, are you

Self absolutely and ash on that note, we need to start rehearsing for the awards. Sorry to remind you of what's still to come.

I feel like this is some sort of torture.

If you enjoy this episode, we would love it if you gave it a share to anyone else out there who may benefit from having two idiots talk about parenting. And we would also love it if you'll give us a review on Spotify. We actually had some really lovely comments on the episode where you talked about your mental health. We had so many great messages and we have we love to receive them. Here. He is Ashwicks. Everybody, what a charming young man. Anything else you want to add

We pay our respects to their elders past and present and extend that respect to all Aboriginal and Torrestraight Islander people's today. This episode was recorded on Gadagle Land