Help I Have Haemorrhoids !

If I cough. Every time I cough, my asshole hurts from the hemorrhoids. I've a new found appreciation for mums, mums that get hemorrhoids during the birthing process.

But have you been squeezing too hard?

Well, I've been sick, as we know, and I've.

Been doesn't give your hemorrhois.

Yeah, but I've been smashing the painkillers. It's really upset my stomach and made constipated, and all of a sudden, I've established this hemorrhoid, which is so fucking so horrible.

Hang on, hold that right there. Let me do an intro and then we'll talk about your hemorrhoids.

Okay, welcome back to two dudding dads.

I'm Mattie Jay and I'm As.

This is a podcast all about hemorrhoids.

The appreciation of hemorrhoids, good, the.

Bad, relatable and if you've come for hemorrhoid advice, please stop right now.

If you come for a hemorrhoid appreciation and get comfort, you want to be heard.

For those of you who have hemorrhoids. This is all about you guys today.

Yeah.

Absolutely, Look, I will just say as well, we still have a husky voice this episode.

The amount of wet women out there right.

Now, I feel like right now is a perfect amount of husk.

Yeah, it's good.

It's like it's not too much. My throat doesn't hurt as much. It just makes me sound like I'm a naughty boy.

Daddy's oom.

But this episode we've pre recorded it, so Ash is still on holidays right now at this point of you listen to the episode, I'm.

Sure that Ash is fat as fun.

On the beach on a day bed with a bucket of bin tangs.

Yeah.

Absolutely, probably sunburned because it doesn't wear suncream.

I wear zink if I'm surfing, but that's about it. A bit of sun cream here are there? The residual of rubbing the children in sun cream goes onto my body.

You've talked I have strong game about how brown you're going to be coming back.

Yeah, I'm going to be brown, baby, don't you worried? But do you have any Irish blood in Yount? I've got my dad's Indigenous and my mum's a Kiwi.

No nothing else? Okay? Interesting?

Why skin looks a bit wrinkly, frail? Just live a tough life, mate, I've lived a hard life.

Yeah, so this is this is the last episode whilst Ash is away and.

I'll be back as I relaxed, hopefully without sickness, hopefully without hemorrhoids. Before the intro, we're talking about my hemorrhoids and my appreciation for women that went through the birthing process and got hemorrhoids through that.

It's quite common, I think Laura, I think, well, she throws out a hemorrhoid joke like it's nothing. I can't tell if she actually has a hemorrhoid. Actually, okay, do you know why I think she does have hemorrhoids.

Because she screams when she's shipped.

Back in the day, Laura used to like a finger in the bump.

I know I've heard this.

You I've heard this. We often talk about it when you're over and Laura's in the room and visuals. Yeah, Laura's like, does does this look weird?

Smell my finger?

But after kids finger in the bum? No more, I don't. I can't remember the last time I put a finger in Laura's bum.

Oh great, okay, good to know. I'm so glad that we established that. But like I was saying, Matthew, I mean a lot of pain right now. Yeah, and because I've been sick. When I cough, my asshole does that thing where like we call it winking, where it winks. Fuck it hurts, man. I don't know how these women did it. And also another thing I found, So you've got to put a cream on it.

Have you got hemorrhoid cream?

I've got some.

Did you go to the pharmacy? No?

No, no, April had some. Because April had some perfect she won't admit there, but she Why do you have the cream? Then it's just guilty.

I bought it by accent.

Anyway. So the appreciation for a couple of things. One the pain that comes along with it, but also the application of the cream. So when I first started putting the cream on a couple of days ago, pretty clumsy. Okay, just smear it on my bar just quickly.

Are you doing in terms of application technique? Are you doing like laying down legs over the head?

No?

Are you doing touching your toes bumm in the mirror so you can see.

Nah, I'm just I'm going in pretty blind.

That's your problem problem.

And I originally it's like it's kind of like fumbling in the it's like I'm a virgin fumbling and trying to find the hole and it's smeared all over my butt cheek. But then this morning I did like a little half squat thing, dab straight on the spot, and I was like, I'm getting pretty good at this.

So half squad no mirror involves still straight, so you've got no eyesighters, not involved, You're going pure. I'm still like, yeah, yeah, you're just like instinct.

And because I've been doing it for a couple of days now, I've got I've got better at it. So there's a lot of appreciation for me for mums out there that had to go through this.

Do you have a shower before you applied the cream?

Oh yeah, I'm clean a shit okay, uncomfortably shit scream a little bit. But yesterday was really bad because I was coughing everything up from being sick. Oh man, that's it.

I was.

I coughed in the car and I was driving and my because my foot hit the brake. I was like, ah, because I had to clench my butthole. Anyway, it's enough butthole.

But I just want to know, are you going to go to the doctors? Oh?

Absolutely not. Classic man.

Move dude, you've got to go.

It's actually feeling a little bit better today as long as I don't cough.

So if you do go to the doctors, I guess they're just going to prescribe you that cream. Right, what's the look?

My doctor is a young If she's listening, I'm sorry. I did go to the doctor yesterday for my throat and she's like, anything else you'd like to talk to me about? And I was like, look, she's quite young, and I thought, no, nope, no no, no, no, no, no no no.

You want an old man.

I want an old man who's been around the traps. I've been around a few assholes. Yeah. Anyway, that's enough asshole talk. Matthew. Yes, how are you feeling better?

I feel better.

It's a bit run down, still have the ask.

But I feel better. Okay, here's a question for you. Okay, in your relationship with.

April, my lovely wife, you don't know you.

Guys have two children? Did you ever have I want to call it strategic conversation about who's doing what and you know how you're going to share the load.

Of parenting in just like day to day regular.

Yeah, like I mean like where you're at right now at this point, because you know you have the kids. There's a Thursday, Friday or week.

Yeah, so we're usually both off on a Friday, so ook, I still do some work on Friday, but my priority is it's like a family day for us.

Yeah.

Yeah, but Thursday I have Macy. But next year I'll have both of them. At this stage, on a Thursday April, she works full time or she I know she works at the moment because so people on leave, but she usually works Tuesday, Wednesday. Thursday, Monday is her day with the kids, and then Tuesday they go to kindy. Wednesday Kindy, Thursday Oscar goes to kindy. Still but I've got Macy. Then Friday everyone's everyone's kind of off off.

So then how did you get to that arrangement?

Well, originally I was working full time, so majority of the parenting was April because I was I had to go to the office. Ye. Now I'm much more flexible. It varies from week to week, depending on what we've got on at and what she's got on. But I would say the conversation probably happens nearly weekly because it's so different. If there's nothing happening. And it's like, if I wasn't sick this week and last week because of school holidays and Oscar's off, I would have been had

Was there ever a conversation about April not working and being a full time mum or or you're not working and you being a full time dad.

No, April loves her job. She always wanted to go back. I don't think there was every conversation that one of us is going to be a full time dad just because financially we were like it was going to be way too hard, like we're going to have to juggle. And I mean everyone's dynamic is different. I'm sure Laura and yours is going to be much different, as I witness all the time and also witnessed the change in both of yours because of different opportunities that you both have.

You got to take those opportunities.

Absolutely, I think we It would have.

Been the start of this year January. Laura got the opportunity to do radio. Yeah, Laura cup right, does it pick up three pm? And Laura is insane and what she takes on So she's got the jewelry business.

Yeah, which because she had Dancing with the Stars.

Dancing with the Stars as well, she's the podcast and then she took on the radio show. And when we had that come about, there was a sit down where Laura.

All of a sudden, he had the full sit down.

I had to sit down and Laura kind of said, look, this is what the week is going to look like. Yeah, because no longer will their schedule be fluid. When she's doing just the podcast, she record like you know, any other day, Like it was never consistent, but now it's very regimented, like Monday is a record day. Tuesdays and she kind of said like I'm going to be gone seven am on these day.

And I remember when you were doing the when she was doing the Dancing with the Stars and you were like, she was out the door at like six thirty. I remember this because we did speak about it briefly, then out the door at like so early and then back at ten o'clock at night for like five weeks straight or something, and that was you.

Know, we both agreed, yeah, yeah, yes, thing, it was going to be short term pain when those opportunities pop up, like you.

Said, when something, yeah, if something pops up, you gotta make it way yeah yeah. And aples the same with me. If something popped up with me and it's like hey, she would be like, this opportunity is huge, you gotta go.

You got to do it totally. But at the moment there's I think this is probably now the busiest that Laura has ever been.

What were the most stressed I've ever seen you.

It's hard because I'm stressed, but also like I know I'm not in the right like I've got for at the moment. Also, Laura is starting a live show tour for the podcast.

Yeah yeah, this week, coming a million days whole.

Yeah yeah, And again that was all agreed and it's amazing because it gives us so much financial security totally yeah, which you know is something that it's like.

You can't put a price on that, Yeah, totally. Yeah. Honestly, she's a workhorse, She is a weapon, and she genuinely loves her and loves it, and you genuinely support her and I witness that.

And there's been times when you know, I've done opportunities and I've been away, and so the pendulum has swung both ways. And right now it's very much in the favor of Laura doing the work and I'm doing the kids. But Monday is a day where Laura is It's the busiest day of the week, so she records really early. She has to edit as well that night, so she works until ten o'clock or later. I was a little bit sick ash.

Sorry about that.

I was a little bit horny, Oh, a little bit horny.

Both Monday nights are just not that it's never going to happen.

Because you know, who's got time for sex when you're so busy, and so was. I was looking at Laura and she was working when a laptop and I was like.

Well, sexy secretary.

I was like, I may as well, I'll put the washing out because I'm just waiting for Laura.

That's four play for Laura though, you know that smart I know your wife tick one.

She didn't even look at me. I was putting the laundry basket down the floor, making a bit of noise. I was doing the dishwasher as well, like banging plates, and Laura looks at me and goes, is something the matter? Are you okay?

I have an erection? Sorry about that?

At that point I didn't know that I was. I was getting really horned, like I was kind of annoyed, but I didn't really realize why. And then Laura's like, what's the problem, honestly telling me, and I was like I didn't want to have sex, and she's like, oh wow, She's like, you know, like we can't. This is not

Just feel like you're behind a bit. I do that too, where I feel like there's things that, yeah, like might fall into my remit at home where it's like, oh fuck, I'm behind on that, and I kind of get frustrated, but I'm more frustrated with myself.

Totally.

Yeah, totally.

And it's not like Laura is sitting there drinking a gin and tiny's.

I could do that over there when you're finished doing the registration. Make sure you can do the insurance.

And yeah, I have moments where I need to check myself because if Laura wasn't taking on these opportunities, we wouldn't be in the house that way. Oh totally, yeah, you know, we wouldn't have the kids in Bacon. It means I can do stuff like this podcast.

Yes, and similar for us, like Abel's got a secure job that you know, is a secure paycheck with what we do, it's a sometimes it can be a bit flimsy. You know, you just don't know where you stand. So look, I've noticed you've taken on this year in particular, you mate, you've been fucking flat out. So I don't ever yet.

And sometimes and I'm not saying this is a correct thought to have, like far from it, but but there's sometimes when like Thursdays, we agreed that I would have the kids.

All Thursday's Daddy daughter day, Daddy interrupt that. Even I get a talking to if I try and interrupt that from you.

And sometimes I love it. And sometimes you know, I'm like, fuck.

It's okay to be frustrated. Parents think that, like you've got to be this perfect parent all the time, or you've got to be even just a parent. Sometimes you're allowed to scream into a pillow and it's okay, you're not gonna be judged by me.

Sometimes I was sending an email is a hell of a lot for easier than having the kids when they're tired and they're cranky, they're frustrated.

Yeah, Yesterday's especially like a day like yesterday, what thirty five degrees you know, we will go for a swim stuff. But that when we're hanging out at home and it's so fucking hot here, that like he's cranky because he's hot. I'm cranky because I'm hot, And it's just like a fucking absolute nightmare. It's like what do you do? You got to go and take a shit for thirty minutes and just rechet yourself and think like, well, it could be way worse.

Maley this morning, and maybe that's why I'm also in a bit of a bad mood. She loves right now. She's obsessed with drawing love hearts on a folder piece of paper. You cut out, oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, you unfold. It's like a butterfly, but it's in the shade of a love heart and she loves that, loves it so much, and she wants to cut out the love heart herself. But look, I'll be honest, she's bloody useless on set. He is four no good, no good, and she wants to do it herself, but she can't

Ah, it's like I scoo with the hot world tracks, like he's ripped a hole in that bag because same thing he wants to build, this thing that just just theoretically physically doesn't won't do that, you know what I mean. He just gets so frustrated that it won't do it, and it's kind of like we both then we get frustrated. He gets frustrated.

I'm still walking around with an erection from the night before, I'm knocking over citizen cover. Ali's like, stop ruining everything, even though even though I am having those moments where I'm frustrated because I'm a bit sick, a bit horny, as hungry. Well, that little mix of ingredients together it makes matter cranky guy, and I now know that. But I have to, like, fuck, I have to I have to check myself because I'm like, you always want what

You know, watching TV with kids or playing with kids, or like totally even just hanging out the washing sometimes you're likes nice to get away from the kids totally.

You're like, but doesn't matter. Do you know anything about me? And I'm sure other people are the same, doesn't matter what you don't have in that moment, that's the thing that you want. And I'm like, fuck, no, I need to I'm like fucking so lucky that, like I can take a Thursday off and I can spend it with the kids.

And like, fuck I didn't have a dad, yeah totally.

Like it sounds really minuscule and like non important, but I'm.

Like, in the scheme of things, that minuscule and non important thing is actually quite major.

Yeah.

Yeah, And it's okay to like feel that way. And sometimes you've got to stop check yourself, understand your reality to make you appreciate what you've you've actually got.

I know that right now. Marley's favorite game to play is Unicorn Fairy Princesses and I'm the monster that's just to kill that. Lola's favorite spoon is the purple one, which is pepper Pig when she has a week Bix in the morning.

Like, these are things that are like you could be missing out on a lot of.

Parents don't have the ability to have that knowledge of their totally because they're not there because they're out working.

Yeah, Like my dad like went to work, and so to my mum, they went to work and then they came home and they missed everything I've done all day. So it's okay to feel like that. Just give yourself a name, just check yourself.

No I do. I do. And it's always like, if there's one person that I shouldn't argue with, it's Laura because she's always one step ahead of me. Oh yeah, and she's also like, naturally when you have an argument, that frustration is targeted towards Laura unfairly, and Laura is like, hang in a second, let's just look at the situation. And I'm like, ah, fuck.

Yeah, totally, she's good. She's good's good, good rebuttal babe, and she's like.

And go masturbate yeah, And then I come out and I'm like, hey, it's great.

So, Matt, there's something I wanted to show you. And our lovely listeners love to pull us up on things, and they did pull us up on something from a segment we did, which was lies, which is that we shouldn't encourage them to be scared of police officers, yes, or the police.

Because they're the good guys.

They're the good guys. But I came across a video last night while I was doom scrolling while not talking to April in the only time, like when the kids had gone to sleep, and that's the only time we have together. We both just doom scroll.

That's the decompressed time, baby decorn pruse.

So I came across the video. I thought, this is it's a bit too much. It's quite a long video. Essentially, what it is is a dad who is potty training his kid has a certain technique to try and scare him into potty training, which has to do with the police. So I'll turn the volume up and you can actually watch it.

Matt Oh the colony the call me? Oh yeah, I don't know so much should do so? I don't know who cash come. Are you sitting in the corps right now? Yeah? If you children's prison, hurry up.

It's not a fun place.

My fucking hell.

That poor kid traumatized. Look, that's pretty red art. There must be some sort of like dialog.

Dollar fake yeah station.

When I saw that, I was like, oh my god, like that kid is going to be traumatized from the police. But it got me thinking about potty training, and look, I think that's funny, but also a bit harsh on the poor little fella.

For anyone who couldn't make out what was happening. The dad was calling the police for shitting himself.

Shooting himself and not going to the toilet like they've been trying to train.

What a heinous crime, so heinous, disgusting those type of people.

Lock up, lock them up, lock those kids up, throw away the key. I love how he gave him the phone and he was like it was literally like a service saying, have you ever been to children's prison?

It is not a good place. So good.

It reminded me of a story so Oscar obviously earlier this year, and we spoke about Oscar and toilet training

That's why I'm here.

That's my favorite thing to do, is wipe your shitty ass. I thought you never asked at least Wine and Diarmie for me to makeup on. So he ran up and it was very quiet up.

There, which is always a concerning.

Yeah, very And I looked I was sitting on the couch behind you, Matthew there, and I looked up the stairs and I saw him you were sitting there watching TV. I was like, did you go to the toilet? He was like yeah. I was like, one, didn't hear it flushed. Two, I didn't hear the tap go, and three he didn't call out for me to help you wipe. He was like, no, it's all good. I was like, no, no, not. So I got up. As I walking upstairs, He's like no, no, no, no, no, no, no,

He's like it's fine.

I turned around and I'm like I've noticed that there's no toilet paper anywhere. And I was like come here. He's like no. I was like come here, come over here, and he's like no, and I'm like, pull your pants down. And pull his pants down and he's got shit smeared across his butte and I was like, this is a fucking crime scene.

Call the police may call it.

That's I was like, that warranted. If you don't call me to I just.

Knew you were going away for a very long.

Very long.

Anyway. I was in a position where I was like, where do I start? Where do I start the cleaning process? Do I clean the boy? Do I clean the toilet? Do I clean the wall? I let him stew in his and I cleaned up everything, and then I was like, come here, let me aggressively white this dried poo that's all over you. But he was willing to hide that,

Does he even like to wipe his own bumby? He always wants you to do it.

He's given it a go and a couple of times, okay, probably clean, snap off, Cleanna, it's the best. But you know what, I love? This gonna sound disgusting when I take a ship and I'm gonna wipe and I find that perfect itchy spot.

Fucking Jesus, is that is that before or after you had hemorrhoids. Is this before?

Long before?

Now find that little hemorrhoids, give a little time, nothing is better.

On that note, let's go to our Budgie smoker segment. We desire in every repair ordinary repair. We don't know what we do.

We don't know.

What we do because we're repair ordinate. So Matthew, this segment, as you know, we celebrate the ordinary or a hack, an ordinary hack or something we get sent in from listeners via email by d MS. We get them, they're great, love them, and they have the opportunity to win two hundred dollars worth of budget smuggler gear.

And can I just say it is the perfect time right now to invest in some budget smugglers.

I know I was down Monavl Beach in my Guy Fierira Fiery Budgy smugglers and my heads were shaken.

Does April like him or is she?

She's all for it. She's like, look at this rig at the moment, classic ninety plus killers.

And for anyone who doesn't know what those budgies look like, they're on our instagram. When we first met, we took a photo together those exact budgies.

In the fire Budgie. They're great.

I think they're still available.

Yeah, there was a guy there in Jaws ones as well, and the sharks right on the crutch. That's great. So this is Budgie Smuggler's most ordinary parent. Well, I've got one for you, which I thought is kind of a hack, also very lazy on the parents' behalf, but effective. Please

I've had a lot of people submit that. I think it's not uncommon, but it's great to know that people are talking about it openly because it's fucking genius.

Absolutely, I'm gonna do it. We were talking about we've got to go to the airport really early on Monday, and we're like, what do we do? Just dress them up before I'm taking that one that's mine. You've bragged about how you've got the winner for this week so far away.

I think I've got a great one.

Okay.

And it came in at the eleventh hour.

Oh, I love that.

It's from Meg. She's written in this is a DM DM you can alviously email, but this one came straight through, slipped into the DMS of two doting dads, and she says, hey, guys, I love the podcast. You're awesome.

Thank you guilty, and she goes, I just thought i'd send in a message for the most ordinary parent as I sit here on a Tuesday night, and it's my daughter's first birthday tomorrow and she's having a party on Saturday where.

She will get lots and lots of gifts, obviously, friends, family members, very spoilt for a first birthday. So me and the hubby, she says, have decided to get wrapping paper and wrap up all of her old toys that she already has so she can then wrap them tomorrow herself.

Savvy saving.

I love it. It's great. I mean I've heard of that before where people just rewrap them because.

They don't know. They have no idea.

I'm not going to know at all when they're like right. Do you think when they're eighteen they canna be like pum? Do you remember when you rewrapped all of my toys?

You think I didn't know?

I remember? Bitch, bitch, and then you profited off it and won two hundred dollars worth a budget Meg win, Meg wins. That's a good that's mate. Look, I'm all four cost saving and gas lighting. Your children love that genius.

So Meg, I'm going to reach out. I reply, Metal reply, congratulations. We will send the voucher.

And we are doing four of these in November. There's going to be four weeks of four ordinary parents to coincide with most ordinary rig So if you.

Want some budgy smuggler gear in time for summer.

Get them in, get them in. So look and the turnaround is really quick. The guys a Budget have been like sending the voucher pretty much straight up.

I even think will extend it out. So if you're not a parent, but you're an auntie ordinary relative, yeah, ordinary relative, or even if you're just like a god parent.

Even if you're just an ordinary person. We'll take them. Get them in because we've got four of them to give away in November. That's eight hundred dollars worth of gear up for grabs and you can win it more than once if you were just a flat out ordinary piece of shit. I want to hear it.

Come in, Come in for a second bite of the apple.

Absolutely now, Matthew questions, let's go to some questions. Finish this off today.

Okay, this one A lot of people have asked this question.

A lot of people, a lot of the worse Trump, a lot of people. That's my good, that's my good, husky.

Okay. This one was how did you guys meet and what made you want to start a podcast?

We met at an orgy. No ahh I'll just do I'll do some of the answer. We met making content. But then we actually had a blind date with our first So Matthew had an invitation to a Christmas party that I wasn't invited to from Meta thing and he said, hey, Laura doesn't want to go.

Of people who don't know Meta is like Instagram and Facebook. It was like, uh, it sounds wanky, as it was a Christmas party for content creators. Yeah, and I was like and I was like, fuck, I don't want.

To go, but I know a guy who likes the party.

So I was even asked who's attending, and I said, can I bring a friend? And then I threw out the invitation to yourself.

Yeah, it was good, and then we met. We had a couple of beers beforehand.

I thought this guy seems lovely.

I got pretty lit up. And then afterwards we made a few videos in the in the corresponding months and people were into it. Yeah, and I said to Matt, we should do a podcast and he politely said no, okay, So anyway, a couple of months.

At this point, I was still sussing you out.

Yeah, it's still sussing out my credibility. And then my gas lighted him and said I've got another dad, don't worry about it. Forget about it. And a week later I said, are you sure.

Well, we did a I don't know if at this point we agreed to doing a full series together. We did a test record, Oh we did. Yeah, yeah, we did a test record at my house and I thought, let's see what this guy's got. Let's see, let's see he's got a good chat when he's out and about. Let's see if it translates to a microphone, which doesn't often happen. Ash No, and that was you know, I was a little bit nervous going into the shop. I

It is glory. The man is where he's supposed to be.

I had wanted to do a podcast. I just didn't have the person to do it with.

But yeah, look that's how it came about. We did the record. We actually had a really fun time. Here we are.

We built a beautiful friendship. And sometimes with friendships you don't know where it's going to come from. But as long as you're open to it, this is the.

One real sappy and I'm really not really uncomfortable.

Now you're a Bali.

When I'm in Bali, maybe I'll find a Bali.

Matt don't even joke about that.

I wouldn't. I wouldn't do it too. I'll be available on the phone whenever you need me. What have we got here? Okay? Oh, actually this is a good question. I like this one. Matthew. How do you deal with parents accusing your child of doing something mean. It's a real sticky one.

That actually came from a daycare teacher.

There's no evidence it never happened.

I picked up the kids the other day from daycare, and normally, as we've spoken about previously, it's the conversation is like, hey, how was she? She had a great day, thanks to much, We'll see you tomorrow, goodbye.

Yes, it's always like that, a great day, and.

Then she goes, oh, I need to talk to you about something. I was like, what's what seems to be the problem. And I look at Lola, who was just so sweet, innocent, her little pig tails, and she's sitting there still sucking a dummy, and she goes Laura, and Laura, Laura's the kid Lola has been hitting other people?

Yeah, did you say show me the proof?

Yeah? I was like, where are the bruises and the other kids? And they were, they were there.

She'd been back here, that old thing was like, should have seen the other guy?

And sometimes I'm like, I wonder if it's because I play really rough with kids. And I'm like, also, like smoke me at.

The bottom, Yeah, that learns it from you.

Yeah, I could be enabling this parent, But I was like, oh, what do I tried to be concerned as she was telling me.

I was like, oh my gosh, oh no, but he also didn't care. I know. My theory behind it is like where there's smoke this fire, right, Oscar is so timid. If a kid gets near him at a playground, he fucking runs off. He's not hitting nobody. So someone accuses him, I'm like, you've got the wrong kid. But if it's legit, and I've seen him not square up, I've seen him get a little bit like defensive, but like he he honestly like, I've never seen him hit anything, so I would be that have to really.

He's never been like he never went through like a biting phase.

No, no, he's always been like this timid kid. But look, if someone said, look I just witnessed Oscar hit someone, I would go, okay, well the adult I would believe first, and then I would say, buddy, just be honest, did you hit that person? And just you know it is you just never right. But if it was Macy, I'd believe it.

I think it's going to get harder when the kids get a bit older, when the kids are like six, seven and eight, and they start to get a bit nasty where it's.

Like but I also like, I also think like let the kids hash it out a little bit.

Yeah, look, let.

Them hash it out because you're not always going to be there to be like your kid. You know. Can imagine if our kids are eighteen and you come up to me and you said, your kid hit my kid, My answer would be, did your kid hit him back? And if not, why not?

And if they did, let's just make a little ring here at the playground, get it over with, shirts off boys and yeah, get it over with.

Let's let's see who's really tough around you. It's also good to be like, hey, don't hit Yeah, but get a bit of mung raw about yea. Sometimes anyway, stop being a snitch. They're like, your kid hit my kids, like snitch, You're the one in the boys group. Everyone no one tells anything because you're a snitch.

Okay, So I don't mind a snitch.

You wouldn't.

I don't mind it. It's hard, man, because you don't want the kids to, like the drop of a hat, come running to you at the playground and this happened. But at the same time, I'm like, fight it.

Out a little bit. No, well we'll give a mixed opinion. We're really gone full circle. Let's agree on one thing. No one likes a snitch.

I don't hate it. I don't hate it. I'll protect Marley no matter, even if I'll die for you, even if Marley's standing there with a serrated knife covered her blood. I'm like, she didn't do it, give it to daddy.

I'll wash it and get it, rubbing it on you, like, no blood on there.

And I'm so bad like that.

You just hide your kids.

And she's so beautiful and innocent, she could never hurt a fly.

Yeah, kids the problem. Yeah, look some kids. Some other kids are the problem. Let's just leave it at that.

Yeah, you have, you have a very good holiday. You deserve this. You've been working hard. You're covered in hemorrhoids, you're sick your.

Blood but hemorrhoids.

You're literally it's like talking to a giant hemorrhoid right now.

I'm just a big red pollop and see you. Yeah, when you're back, I'm back and rested in brown, tanned some waves. Hopefully it's like I don't serve anymore shack a br shackers.

April just I'm just saying, can to get away to Bali Bags.

If you like this episode, please subscribe, follow us on Instagram, leave a little of view. We love that. I'm going to go sip on a few bin tains. But it's been nice to speak to you again, Matthew, so let's just go see out. Bye.

Two. Doting Dad's podcast acknowledges the traditional custodians of country throughout Australia and the connections to land, sea and community.

We pay our respects to their elders past and present and extend that respect to all Aboriginal and Torres straight on the People's Today. This episode was recorded on Gadigle Land