Remember that. Like, I don't know if your kids have grown out of them. The squeegees, the like they's got the mixed fruit in it, or like there's like one with like casserole and potatoes and the squeezy.
Pouches like a normal pouch.
Yeah, like a squeezy pouch you know you buy from black wools off the shelf. Yeah, do your kids have those still? Well, they used to have them.
Well, the mics are grown out of it, but they're still there.
Yeah, I know they're still there, but they should have adult ones.
Like if you're too fucking lazy to sit there and chew your meal.
I just want to squeeze into my mouth.
Probably that's what they use in all people's homes. Oh, they probably uses the baby ones.
Do you reckon? I could go on a solid diet of those.
Let's find out. Welcome back to two doting dads. I'm Mattie Jay and I'm as. This is a podcast that would you believe? It is all about parenting. It's the good is it bad? Let's talk about cars today.
Let's talk about big gigs.
I mean, already you are, You're like a dog on heat. There's not going to be any advice in this podcast, which will come as no surprise to anyone who's just joined us. What that interest sounds like? We did get a very nice review, did we accept?
I don't read them?
It said at the end in brackets, Ash sucks. So you guys are just a little bit crass.
Oh who who?
Except? Do you remember that last episode I dropped?
Did they give us five stars? Shut the fuck up?
I did drop the C word a number of times.
You did last week? You did it in the first minute.
I thought, should we edit that out?
I don't worry about that.
It's too late. Now. That's who we are, Like, it's just this environment. There's something about sitting opposite Ash that makes me want to swear more.
And I do want to just talk about one thing really quickly, because you frequent my suburb, Yes, quite a lot.
I love yourself.
It's quite a fam like for those who don't know, I live in a very family friendly suburb called Warrywood or the swamp as I.
Does anyone ever refer to it as family friendly?
Yeah, there's parks everywhere. Man's here as well. But you've got this hill. You carry your kids ship up that hill? Bet you do all the time. It sucks on that it's all like flat. It's just very family friendly. There's a lot of nice pass through the.
Interrupt you for one second. It's good incidental exercise. The reason I look the way I do is because of all the hills that I have to walk with the kids. Worrywood is not it's not good for your waistline.
Do you call me fat? I already know that. So where was iry?
You live in a family friendly it is.
There's a lot of nice pass through the wetlands, the swamps, but there's parks everywhere. It's great. There's heaps of families. Okay, family friendly. There's heaps of families. However, is there a problem. There's a problem and having kids in the area, this is a big problem. Okay, okay.
So on Sunday, does this mean you're about to move to the east. No, no, never, So it's not that severe. No.
Nah, Oh, you'd be the judge, you'd be the joke. So on Sunday Sunday just gone, there was a police operation at the end of our street, near the cafe we go to all the time, and straight away I thought they've got the guy who owns a cafe because he's a bit creepy, but no, no, So I drove pasting you and you know when like something big is happening and everyone's like, all of a sudden, everyone's going
to go to the end of the street. And it was like right near the shop there, so it's like all of a sudden, everyone needs something from the shop, not us, because we were like we'll going out anyway. I was like, we'll just drive past. How did you do slowly? Something about that sort of shit in car accidents, you've got to drive past really slowly, a.
Bit of a sticky beak.
Yeah, you just want to like just poke your head in anyway. So at the end of this street there's two of those tactical support cars police, one like black cars, people with like cops with a covered up face, like full on ambo. There was like fifteen cop cars in there, and I'm like, not even have friend of it.
Did you come out and say do you feel as need a hand? You guys need a hand? Do you need the big gun?
It was funny because we've got friends who lived near that who were giving a sort of play by play, right, I'm like, what's happening? They were like there's two cop cards. Oh my god, there's like ten cop cards. There's tactical units, all these stuff, and I'm like, not in this lovely family suburbs. Oh yeah, so and it's it's not a noisy place, like it's not like I mean, you've been there.
It's not sweet, it's lovely.
Yeah.
I have not once have I ever felt like I'm in any danger at all. Driving through warry Wood, I would leave my car unlocked.
In fact, probably actually anyway, so he drums and what I just in case? Anyway, So we drive past and we're like, anyway, we have to be somewhere. So it's like, okay, we're off. But then we're texting friends, like give us an update, give us update. Apparently just it came to an abrupt end and we don't know what happened because obviously they're not going to be walking around telling people what happened anyway. So it turns out what is there is a local meth head.
It's always the meth head.
There's a meth head. And at the back of the shops there there's a kids park, so it's Sunday, pretty busy. I would say the meth head has decided to go to the playground wilding a samurai sword. He's gone full kung fu fighter.
He's working up. God, it's quite a nice outside. I'll take the samurai sword and go for a little trot down.
Just take my samurai sword out down to the kids park. There's or birthdays. There's all this shit going on in this.
People like, oh, they've got entertainment.
Reminded me of that time I saw the ninja in the pask. But this guy was apparently he was like no shirt, no shoes, wielding a fucking ninja sword man.
If only if only you and me were recording that day and we came across.
Oh, we would have been like, don't never fear to dating dad. Here we got this. God. But since then, our loveliest suburb has been renamed.
What's it called.
It's now called worry Hood. What it's the talk of the town.
It's taken the shine off what was once a beautiful little suburb.
The good thing is all the house prices and now people can buy on the all the beaches. You just have to be careful that you're going to get chased by a meth head.
Nothing with a ninja, nothing ruins. A beautiful suburb, a beautiful, family friendly suburb. Quite like a meth head with a samurai saw it, and I.
Wonder what was like it was his weapon of choice. I guess, do you think like in his hallways? Got like today?
Not today Nicole Duster's Yeah, Gune, you know what, what a shame? What a shame? I wonder. I wonder what that will do to the METS supply in Warrywood.
Well, I didn't get my hit this morning, so sorry to take this times like chip up.
Anyway, I have a few things to talk about you do. Firstly, I actually want to ask you. Maybe we've spoken about this. You're not wearing your wedding ring.
Oh yeah, she left me.
It was only in that time.
No, I've got the initials tatooed there. I do wear it, but as you can say, like this one at the moment, I just get a reaction from them and I kind of chop and chain.
Oh one of those rings, your wedding ring. No, they're not other.
No, they're just like I just bang them one on the way out the door. But I do wear it, but just like if I wear it too long, too.
Much knocking for the skin. I took mine off.
Oh yeah you did, and you don't have any of yours.
On because I went to the gym for the first time in ages.
Yes and dog and yeah you left it there?
No, well I took it off here at home. Oh no, and I don't know where it is.
M kids like fucking grabbing them, don't they.
Yeah, it's concerning. It's been lost for two days, now is Laura and she now? So now I have to make sure I find it before this episode goes to.
That signet one signet looking one, lost.
That one as well, and the gold ring with the diamonds.
Oh you've got the diamond one? Yeah, yeah, fancy. Well I haven't got a signet ring for mine. But then I just got the initials. So it's like, I don't know. I do like the finger tatsu they like they're going on oral gross anyway, Now.
They look great, you look great. Great we spoke about Lola. Has been quite difficult the last a couple of weeks. Off the back of the Maggie Island trip. The non stop screaming, which is just happened the last the murderous screen, the murder of screams. Okay, this is all off the back of the doctor on Maggie Island saying that she was we can get access to. The diagnosis on the island was that it's a little virus. She does have a sore ear, there's no pass it's not that badly infected.
We don't want to give antibiotics, and we thought great, perfect, we went on our way. Since then, the screaming has been consistent now every ninety seconds. As we got out of bed the other morning and she had all of this fluid all over the pillow, and then we're kind of googling, like, what does it mean perforated ear drum?
Okay, let me stop you. Okay, you complained about this. I did constantly.
I didn't complain.
You said there's nothing wrong with the well, look because it's okay. Like I've always said, this is a safe space.
So the reason why you shit that two things why we thought it wasn't anything serious. One, the vet on Maggie Island had said that it was fine, slashed and then at nighttime the crying always happened when we said that we wouldn't give her a bottle of milk because we're trying to stamp that stuff right, out and we give her the milk, and she was fine. Okay, but now we know that she had nearest gas light left right,
she was gas lighting us. So you know, Laura and I were trying to figure it out and we thought she's just having a little tantrum. Turns out it was a perforated ear drum.
The poor thing's been living in pain, and you're just sitting here going and then filming her.
Look that sometimes is a part of parenting.
You said that filming meltdowns is normal, so that's fine.
Thank you for reminding me. So yeah, so we for the record, affected ear drum. Now on the antibiotics.
Okay, how's she doing now?
Great, doing much better. Except not to pick on Lola. But we have credited.
Monster the milk monster.
No, well, it's a dummy monster. So she is obsessed with dummies, and your kids weren't.
No, they never been, never been into sucking on things. That's hopefually that leads them into their future.
The dummy. For us, it's the silver bullet item. We cannot go out out anywhere without having a dummy with an arm's reach. I can see you've got okay, because all of a sudden she would go to bed, we try and not give her dummy.
During the please, does she get dummy rash?
No?
Never, ha dummy rash where beer grows in She probably.
So. Now she started having like a dummy in the mouth and then a dummy in the hand when she went to bed.
Double dummy, double dummy.
Nice. Then she wanted two dummies in each hand.
Shut up.
This is what she sleeps with.
This is how many dummies you got there?
Just one in the mouth, then one, two, three, four, five?
Holy shit? What does she wear?
Does she put them all like? She cuddles the dummies.
She just's like they're comforters.
And then she'll go this one, stop it out for the strawberry one or the little lady beetle. And then she has the blue one and the green one, and she just rotates the dummies.
Oh my god.
And then she carries them around the house and also takes them with her. So then she starts losing them because she's got so many dummies, And I'm like, fuck, what have I done? How did we get here?
How did you get there?
You never had that problem?
Never? They I think after six months, nah, I think also got a bit attached to one for a while and then we're like, nah, and it took like two or three days and done. You're just gonna have to fucking put it.
Do you know what you do?
Cut the end off each of them, because then they put in their mouth, they don't get the same satisfaction. They don't like it anymore, because then she'll get angry because it's well, you could just put dip it in dogshit and give it to.
But look, and this is why we say there's no advice on this podcast.
No, no, exactly right.
People will be listening and they'll be going, well, that's good for Ash, it's sure grow out of it.
But it's I.
Feel guilty because now I put it through the pain of the last few days. So I'm now I've got the gilts.
So yeah, you should. I'm letting it.
Whatever she asked for, she just let it.
Just do you know what you do? Put a day on it and go in like three more sleeps, we're going to take one away, and then three more and more we slowly take them away. So Oscar used to sleep with every toy he owned. I'm talking the whole cot was like wall to war with all of his toys, like, I don't know how we fit in there, but he did.
Okay, And did that happen overnight or was it a slow.
Prog slow progression? And then eventually we were just like we thought, okay, well, what we'll do is we'll take some out and then let him keep the ones he wants to keep. And then eventually we've got it right down. Now he's just got one which is harmless, and his teddy which is Elma. So he used to sleep with all of them, and eventually that's what we had to do, just be like and just you know, you can have these for two more sleeps. But again, look that's not
sound advice or from anywhere that I read. I just was like, let's just strap this thing, or you can just take them off and let a screen for two days.
But I've just been through that. I'm not going back in the night, Yeah, to the screaming, oh my, And then also like I can't fucking talk to you whilst you fren't and you it's as far as the work environments go, I don't know how they behave in Warrywood warriorhood, man, but that shit won't fly here in the East.
Yeah, speaking of sleeping do your kids. Hasn't because she's still in a cot lower correct, like a big not like a little basn'tet She's still just like it's a little bit small for me. She's in a cot yeah yeah, yeah, So it's like a she can't get out.
No, you can take off one of the sides, so she could like roll out of bed. So with Marley, we in hindsight, we did it wait too early. We got over excited and we're like, oh, she's big enough now to have like a bed, and we thought we'd be cute if we take off the side wall, which is just fucked because she would wake up and instead of putting herself back to sleep, she'd be like, well, I'm up now and she's walking around.
Has she ever rolled out all the time?
Yeah? All the time.
Oscar just like fought for the first time. Has just falling out of bed to my knowledge. So like three o'clock in the morning, I hear him and I was like, the fuck sake, what's going on? Like he must have had a bad dream or something, and he's like rolled off the bed. But get this, he's got a rail, so he's rolled off the bottom of the bed, so somehow we started at one end and he's slowly like jinked his way up, taking all the blankets, all the
pillows with it. He's kicked out the plug for the nightlight. The nightlight's fallen off onto the ground. Now Macey's awake and.
She's just like Tad at three in the morning.
Taddy like pepper Pig because you watched so much Pepper pickd Y, and I'm like, back to sleep.
So this is three.
We're all up since three o'clock. After that, I just thought, like, how the fuck do you fall out the bottom of your bed?
The movement of kids of Toddler's at nine times unbelievable. I'll go and check on Marley before I go to bed, and she'll be like in the most weird fucking all aspects. Every night it's different where she's like one corner upside down, feet resting upgainst the wall, and I'm like, runner, that
makes you comfy. But we we'll be like downstairs and then we'll just hear her a thought and I'm like, that's Marley all upstairs and she's just still finger like in the mouth sleeve, sucking it on the floor.
To do it outline of.
It pop her back into bed.
It's so funny when you like pick them up to put them back in the bed and they did that start or that. It's like when you're trying to fall asleep and you're like.
The old John job. We're I think we're going to try and keep Lola in the cot for as long as we can. This eighteenth birthday, literally, Lee's can I have a normal bed back in your car? When Marley was Lola's current age, like just after two, Marley figured out how to climb up and out of the cot, so did Oscar actually, so she's like we put her down and when she'd wake up and have an up would she just go like, you know, wwe to the
top rope. So there was one time in the old house where this is when Marley still had like mid day sleep, and we heard this noise coming from the bedroom and she'd only been asleep like half an hour. So you know, when they wake up and you're like, I'm not going to go in.
There see if they resettle correct.
And we heard I'm sleeping, Mom, Dad, I'm sleeping, and we're like and we're like that's pretty cute. Yes, you are sleeping, You're meant to be sleeping. So the screams went for a few minutes, and she's still going, I'm sleeping, and we're like, what is she saying? She's sleeping, Like just go back to sleep. Eventually we're like, we'll go in there and see. She said, okay. She was like perched on one side of the railing up the top. She was stuck up there, and she was saying, I'm slipping.
I'm slipping, been.
Like slowly slipping off the edge, raised up in.
The corner, up on the highest point of the crib.
That's very good, that's cute. Yeah, Oscar, I know, like you see those videos of people's baby monitors and their kids like climbing out and they just go because they're so heavy at the headsettion all the way down. Which oh yeah, but yeah, like I said, like having Oscar fall out of the bed for the first time, I was like, just I never thought of it about it really especially I was like, there's a rail, there's a safety route. Now I'm like, what am I going to put at the other end.
It's just some fault.
Yeah, And he's stopped being such an aggressive sleeper.
Ash I have a video that I want to play you because over the last few weeks you have mentioned a few times that you've raised.
Your boys a few times.
We're dealing with your kids and they're not behaving, and I thought, you know what, I probably just needs a little bit of help, but steer in the right direction. And so I've come across this video on social media and I thought, you know what, I'll play this and I'll help the poor guy out.
Thanks, Suppose, and I love how you dropped poor guy.
Do you want to know why your kids don't listen until you finally yell and lose your shit? Frustrating, right, because you're going to be shocked you set that boundary. Now, I'm not pointing my finger at you, and I'm not.
You just pointed your finger at me to what works.
Because they're born needing to push boundaries and tell boundaries are found if you ask nicely, you give reminders, you nag, and then you finally yell and lose your shit. They learn that they don't need to listen when you ask the first time. They don't need to listen when you're nagging, or you're reminding, or you're asking nicely multiple times they listen when the boundary is set, and that boundary you set is where you.
Yell or lose your shit.
So if you want to stop this, sancle, we have to learn how to set concrete, clear, consistent boundaries so your kids know up front what you need them to do.
And also we need to work.
On your yelling to shift your child's handing.
That's first of all, let me just say this is okay. I know we've touched on this a lot in this podcast in the last twenty odd episodes. Okay, we've also had other videos similar where we've been like, that's gob first thing she said, I'm not pointing the finger at you while pointing the finger at me. That's what she did.
First, you're getting very defensive.
Yeah, but that firstly, that's what she did. And then she's telling me that so if from the very beginning, when I was a very novice parent doing it for the first time, that if I had to set that boundary really low and pleasant, it would still be low and pleasant. Shut the fuck up. Okay, nothing gets done in my house, no, I see a point now, Look okay, look, yes, it depends on the kid, right, But like, this is
a parenting expert. Obviously, if she's going to dish out advice like that that comprehensive, you'd want to have something to back up. And that's fair enough. But every parent that has their first child, they're a novice parent. No one's gonna know that shit, and you're not gonna have enough sleep to actually put that into practice. If you're putting that into practice, you're a fucking psychopath from day one. You shouldn't have that child because no one's sitting around
getting it. Imagine getting at a one year old level and being like, now, don't cry.
When mommy and daddy's sleeping.
Or some fucking garbage like that last light.
I love how worked up you get, Yeah, because like get a bit of passion from you. Ash.
I get that there's people that don't yell at their kids, and they don't want to yell at their kids, that's up to them.
But grow up to murder people, yes, and burn.
People's houses down. They're all arso in this. But everyone has a stern voice, Okay, whether it's a yell or a stern I don't think that the kid's going to differentiate. I just know that, yes, she's right. They want to push boundaries to the boundary. But even now when they get to the boundary and I yell, they still sometimes just laugh at me. So at what point you need to start that or is it just too late for everybody, because, like I said, people are novice.
For the record, I think her video sucks. I don't agree with it.
Yeah, no, I just thought I played in front of you. It was like that fucking dickhead. It was trying to tell you to stop. Close your eyes.
It's the people on social media. I bet she doesn't even have kids. But I was thinking the other day, no, she's got dogs. I was thinking the other day. I was like, maybe, you know, sometimes I think maybe I shouldn't yell. Maybe from this point on words, I'm going to change the way I parent and I'm going to be a great dad who never raises his voice. And then when we do the daycare drop off and we park the car, and it's always a bit tricky because you know, I've got two kids in the back. I
gotta take Marley out first. I'll try and like hold her hand as I then go around to the other side to let Lula out. Sometimes Miley's like, don't hold my hand dad piss off, and so I'm like, hey, just you got to stand right next to me. I need to see you at all times. And then the other morning she just went to like run off on the road and I was like.
My come back here, right, that's where you're wrong. You should come on, Marley, please come back me. Look out for the oncoming trap.
Like you need to. You need to not like if.
They're going to get yelled at in their life, Like you can't protect your child from If I don't yell at my kids and then they go to school and do something wrong and a teacher yells at them, they're going to be fucking shocked. Okay, it's way worse now. It's like shock therapy in like eight years time. They're like what is this loud.
Night when they go to school? I just look at the teacher of principal and go, is that all you got?
Yeah? You got, bitch. I've spoken to my therapist about this. Yes, I see a therapist, believe it or about.
Yeah, what's their take on it?
Well? That look, they're like very much like just from you'd need to also remember that he's for Oscar, particularly because he fucking grinds my gears right, and it's they're like, look, there's nothing wrong with you being stern. Yeah, But then every time we do have that conversation, I try and put into practice maybe being a little bit more patient. Probably lasts about three days before he works out there.
Dad's become a pushover.
Yeah, Dad's kind of push over. And I've got a wrangling back into line, like unbelievable. But if I've said it a million times, nothing gets done in my house unless I yell, like even like put your shoes on this morning, put your shoes on, Please, put your shoes on. Start with that, and then it slowly escalates put your shoes on, Okay, put your shoes on.
And then they're like, oh, you want the shoes on, Oh you.
Want the shoes on? It now? Which one?
Well, why didn't you say so?
Right now? I've just said to Oscar, I'm sick of yelling at y'a for not listening. That's the one that really shits me in the mom because I'm very obvious. He's got a very good vocabulary and he's very good at like articulating what he wants. So I want to articulate what I want, and it's like go upstairs and have a bath. And I've got to the point where it's like, every time you don't listen to me, Now I'm throwing something in the bin.
Oh how's that working out?
Oh it's great. Not he's just melt down after that because he can't comprehend that. But it's like, if I don't raise my voice, nothing gets done.
We're going to debunk that video? Is that full of shit?
Look, I think that this.
I think it is.
I think so.
I think it is.
I think so. But I also think, like, don't be an expert and preach the new parents, Like preach to someone who's got kids that are like a bit older and they're used to it, and then maybe they're a bit out because I think in a few year's time, I won't have to be yelling at Oscar because he'd be like I've learnt from when younger.
If I put a fork in the toaster, I'll do it. Dad won't like it. No, I'll stop it. Or I won't run out in front of traffic anymore because that would mean Dad will yell, which I don't want to.
Oscar on the scooter, right, he's a really good example like that oscar on the scooter on the footpath. It goes around the corner. I'm like, stop at the corner, and he's riding away. Make sure you stop at the corner. Stop at the corner. And he goes around the fucking corner, and then I've got to go. I've got to yell in the streets because I can't see him. It's more for his safety that I'm yelling at him now. But he didn't fucking listen all the way out.
And that's your fault for not setting those down earlier.
What am I gonna be like?
Please? And if you think of way not yelling at me.
And you know what that does. It gas lights heaps of parents, making them think they're like shit, doing a bad job. You're not doing a bad job. You're just coping like the rest of us.
I've got a few videos I've come across because you know, I spent a lot of time on social media.
Get a job, bro.
I am an extremely hard working content creator, and I thought each week I will start to drip feeds of these videos in front of you in the hope ash that I just want to make you and me a better parent. But I think most of them will be full of shit.
Okay, well that was full Who would have thought.
Videos and social media that are explaining how to do something full of shit would come from someone who doesn't have any idea what they're saying. Should we do ash? We've been teasing this for a week now. We've also been mentioning it on social media. Yes, we do have a brand new segment we do.
Yes. This segment is called Budget Smuggler's Most Ordinary Parent.
We desart in their repair ordinary repair.
We don't know what we do. We don't know what we're doing because repair. The vocals on that are absolutely outstanding, and I'm going to submit it to something.
Laura's complained because that's been on repeat and it's like one of those earworms or it just won't fucking get out. We don't know what we're doing. There's a little part we harmonize. There's one moment in there where we harmonize. We both know it, and I think when we first sung it, we looked at each other and thought.
Holy shit, we've just are we going to release an alphabet?
It was like, I can imagine what's what the Beatles would have been like when the session they looked at each other and gone.
We've got something. People are probably like, uh oh, they listening to the same.
It's very catchy.
It is very catchy.
You can see why John Lenond is one a few Grammys.
I can't wait till we get our Grammy for that version of it.
Arias are coming up.
They are yes, and we'll be singing that one live. Surely really get up and leave.
If you got asked to do the mask singer on Channel ten, would you do it? Yeah, Charlton, if you're listening, we're available. We do you have this new segment. It is we put the call out there and we've asked for the parents of this country to send through moments of ordinary parenting. And we're not saying neglectful parenting.
We leave them in a hot curR and sun parenting.
But definitely not please do not do that. We are talking about ways in which you can cut corners to get the job done with a little less pain. Absolutely, we've got we've got some great ones that are sent through. We are going to read out a couple. Yep. Only one can be the budget smuggler winner with I'll get two hundred dollars worth of product.
Yep.
Ash, do you want to go?
Yeah, I'll go first. I'll read one I like, then you can read one you like, and then we'll go for the big grit, the big winner.
Can I just say we had a moment where I mean, it's nothing brand new, but the kids loved it. We got home late on Monday and it was like quarter to seven. Kids are normally bed by seven, absolutely no chance of getting any decent food into them. So we give him wheatbis and I said, guys, isn't this going to be funny? We're going to have dinner, but it'll be breakfast.
It'll be breakfast.
We'll have it the wrong way around. And they thought it was hilarious.
I'm like, Dad, this is crazy what we're looking for me?
And then Marley was like, are we going to have spaghetti for breakfast? And I was like, maybe we will, Like we didn't. They just had more wheatbicks.
It's like when I told that story about how if they've eaten a full nutritious meal like Kindy, I just give them to Oh yeah.
I was like, they've come from Kindy, It's totally fine. Let's just how you do it. I mean, they snack on like chickpeas and carrots.
That's enough.
Now, but your first example of ordinary parenting ash, please take away.
Yes, so this one comes from someone called MOFO eighty one. But this is Look, this is not the winner, but this is the sort of stuff that we love to hear. So he does this thing he or she sorry, I don't know. Yes, they cause the eyes closed game in car trips. So they just do this competition who can close their eyes the longest obviously not the driver, and they just fall asleep. He has two really competitive boys and it works. A tree is that's great genius. It's
kind of like you're lying to them. But it's an ordinary parent move that we love to hear.
But if the kids are going to fall asleep, it's a win. They probably need a nap anyway, it's a win.
That's any win you can get from a cutting a corner or whatever is amazing.
Okay, this one is from Jewels. Also could be a hero.
She could be.
They have said, when toddlers are crying, just say it's my turn now and cry louder. It stops him.
Every time I've done this too, it's my turn.
I did it this morning with Marley she was having a little hissy fit because she's doing some coloring in started crying and I was like, how did that not win? Do you know what? Started crying? And she started laughing. Turned it right round straight away. Nothing works better.
That is great. Okay, now we have a winner.
This week's winner.
Now, this week's winner comes from Megan. Megan. I don't know Meghan anyway, go that. It's quite a long one. Please if I fuck this up, I'm really sorry. She said. She wanted to add her parenting hack on decluttering, especially bigger toys that her kids have, and how do you get rid of them?
Because my place is messy? As please continue action? What have we got?
She says? What she does. I break the toy when they aren't around, on purpose, and when they get home, I pretend to trip on it, acting like I've broken it.
I do the.
Old Oh no, I've broken it. Bullshit.
It can't be fixed.
We'll have to put it in the bin. Works every bloody time. Therefore removing the shit toys. I hate taking up space in the house, but that rather outstanding and I will be using that one. I love the just the secrecy of it when they're not around. I just secretly break them so prem psychotic.
I was going to say it's borderline psychotic, bullblown psychotic, but it's one. You two hundred bucks of Budget Smuggler gear.
Well done, that's amazing. Love that. We'll reach out to you. We'll organize that voucher and if you want to also win two hundred dollars from our friends at Budget Smuggler, please send us a d M with your and reparenting stories. Stuff like that is what's going to win you the good shit, or send us an email emails in the link emails in the buyo.
To dd it is ye T T two yeah at at look dot com dot au and we will run this segment throughout the back end of this year, giving away plenty of two hundred dollars vouchers for Budget Smuggler.
Let's get back to what we do best, and that is answering the parenting questions of the world. The whole world has come to ask with questions that they have and they need answered immediately.
I've got one here, can pipe that up. That was a great intro.
I'm just on one today. Anything you need to do, I'll do it.
That oat flat white you had before is just absolutely earning.
It made me gassy, That's what.
Earning. Its keep earning it.
I've de robed my microphone. Well okay, okay questions Matthew, you can go first, okay.
And this is no way targeted towards you because.
You said why are you just targeting me?
Today? Just happens to be one that I thought we were both unpacked. Also, you swear from your kids a lot. This comes from Scott and he says, how should you react when your kid swears? His little girl is just over three in a little bit and she has copied her mother? How can one not laugh and discipline at the same time. Now, Ash, he has sent through a
video and he has said, I can play this audio. Yeah, I'm just gonna give you this ship full context of the swear word that their little daughter is using.
Fucking hope it's the sea bomb, black eye hopa, it's the Z bomb.
What does mommy say? Did you just say silly can't?
Are you fucking serious? That's amazing? What does mommy say? What's the other.
Way fucking.
Is she saying silly can't? I think she's saying silly cars.
I thought she was dropping silly cars. Okay, silly cars. It's not as bad as what we thought.
WHOA. I was like, look, I know I wished for it, and then when I saw it, I was like, no, but she's saying the first one silly cars, but the next one is fucking car. I thought you said silly car.
It's always do you know when it gets you. The hardest part is when you're driving and some idiot in front of your yeah, being stupid. It slips out. I say, for fox sake.
For fox Sake is a good one.
And I'm always like, oh god, Marley's there, just like absorbing everywhere and going, oh, u's that one. That's great.
Well, it's like they were saying that time when we got the pool noodle up onto the side, fuck sack into the noodle at a resort.
Okay, but it's hard because it's equal parts hilarious. Yeah, as it is concerning.
That your kids are dropping what they're doing there. If you're disciplining it, then they're like this is naughty. I'm gonna you know, and they're going to push that boundary that that fucking idiot was telling us about. But if you have a giggle about it, then it's harmless. I think. I always say like, I don't really care if my kids drop a swear word. I'll think it's funny if it's in context. But if they start saying to someone in public like fuck you, that's when I'm going to be like that.
No, if the waiter like drop some marshmallow when giving them a baby Chino and fake lady, I better rate.
It in I'm going to really go home and look in the mirror and think about my parenting.
Parenting is that hard? At any moment where the child is behaving to a certain degree but not destroying anything and giving you a moment of laughter, you just got to take it for It's.
Something to talk to your friends about as well, Like it's always a good laugh when you're having a drink with other parents and you're like, I was gonna dropped a F bomb the other day, and in context it's great and watch this. Yeah yeah, yeah, that's great.
So Scotty laugh away, my friend play.
On my question to you, Matthew. Okay, it comes from Brent Redmond.
Sorry, I don't know what that was funny?
Is that that made up? Mate? No?
That's legit.
I think what's the strangest dinner you've fed your child. My two year old just went with a slice of ham, a crumpet with the teller and a pouch to wash.
It down, delicious, a smalgas border, random random items.
That is random? What about you?
What have you? Okay? So this one wasn't one that went down well. You sometimes you say to your kids, you're not going to like this food, and they're like, I want it. I love it, and you're like, you're gonna hate it. It's not gonna be a jam. It's either spicy or it's just like a weird flavor. And Marley was like, give it to me, give it to me now, bitch. And I was like, all right, if
you really wanted, I'll give you one. But when we moved house, we're clearing out the pantry, you know, there's always those random items like yeah, yeah, I don't know how they got there.
I bought that thing and I'm going to make something with this. Yeah yeah, I.
Think this might have been like a ham or some I don't know where it came from.
Hampers always got the weird combination of like food in one food.
So it was like items that are like you wouldn't buy that never, that's why they give them away, Like you've got no choice in the matter.
You' getting into a fucking hamd park.
Well, one of the items that we held onto was smoked muscles. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, and like in the can yeah. And I was like looking at it, and maybe because it was a sho I don't know, Marley was like, I love one of those.
Plans, one of those shiny can things.
I'm pretty hungry. And I was like, you're not gonna like this, and she's like, serve it up, serve it up and give it to me. So I was like whatever, Like I don't care, like have it if you want. So I gave her a smoked muscle and she was like, yep, that's delicious. I would like another. She it was oh. I was like I told you, yeah, I told you.
No, they don't get it for me. On this one. The food it wasn't the strange part. It was how it was eaten as the strange part. So it was just a spaghetti bowlin a no meatball spaghetti, so like the big meatball. Okay, served it up to Oscar and he was like, oh, I don't I don't want the sauce, So I put it in a strainer, washed it under the tap, put it back in his bowl and gave
it to him and he ate it. So it was essentially watered down spaghetti with a watered down meatball, and he ate the whole thing and gobbled that bitch up.
Their little arrogant little things. Aren't that weird?
Man? Kids are weird?
Do you reckon? He was like, this tastes like ass. But he's like, I'm not going to accept defeat here.
Yeah, do you know what he thought? He probably thought, you know what, just to annoy this person, I'm going to get him to deconstruct this meal, just for ships and giggle. And then when he got it, he was like, what have I done? What have I done?
This is a mistake? Kids? Is so dumb? Hey, ash? That is until we have time for is we did? We did? So? I feel like we do waffle before we start recording. When you come out to this.
Neck of the woods, I've just getten used to it.
You have gotten used to it. I know you've got to trek back to the worry wiry hood hood because.
I just remind me to pick up my samurai saw on the way.
We have. Actually, you and me both look at the numbers of this podcast. See who's listening. We've got a lot of new listeners we do that have joined us.
Go back and listen for the very start. Some stuff that we talk about. We'll have more context.
At one Daddy wants a podcast Absolute crack us.
Daddy somewhat did want one, he was hungry. But Daddy wants Daddy Kids and.
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I don't know, just read the fact.
And we'll see you guys next week. Also, before we go, I just want to ask the listeners right now, we have done a few bonus episodes with the dads of this country. A lot of people have said we'd like to have a mum on the podcast, which we absolutely would for sure. We are two doting dads and we will both speak to mums and dads.
I know believe it or not the best advice.
So if you have any mums that you would like us to speak to on the podcast as a bonus episode, please tell us who they are and we will do our best to organize that.
Yep, absolutely and.
Until then, well you guys. Next Wednesday. Two Doting Dads podcast acknowledges the traditional custodians of country throughout Australia and the connections to land, sea and community.
We pay our respects to their elders past and present and extend that respect to all Aboriginal and Torrestrate Islander peoples today. This episode was recorded on gadagal Land