#93 Do Dads Ever Feel "Dad Guilt"?

Big breath. Thank you.

Also, I do want to say thank you for taking a video in my vulnerable state.

Can't tell if you're annoyed by that.

I might hand down my pants and I was snoring on your couch, so will you tell me.

I thought it was a very cute little video. Yes, you were snoring. Your hand like it wasn't in the front of your pants, it was down the side. It was very endearing. People loved it because my cock's on my hip. Welcome back to two doting dads. I am Maddie Jay and I'm Ash and this is a podcast all about parenting. It is the good, it is a bad.

It's going to be a fair I can feel it.

We do for a good one. We're both well.

I am very tired all the time, so I feel like it's going to be good.

How many hours did you get last night? The last night was good? How many to find hours. That's too much.

You know I needed it from the previous night, which we will talk about.

We'll get into that very shortly.

Yeah, you know I needed it, but I'm still tired.

Ash. Yes, I have something very special for you, a gift, if you will, Matthew, you are the only gift I need. That's very sweet. Thank you. Do you remember we had a segment a few weeks ago it was apparenting hacker fucked. Oh what is it? Tron? I don't know why? It says Tron. This is the disposable potty, the magic hat? Am I going to poop? Yes on this podcast? Absolutely give me a look. Don't don't withhold it from me.

That's so many years in that all the way three pack.

It is, Tron. It's more than that three pay reusable. Can I open it?

I thought you'd never asked, Oh where's this from?

Just one for me thinks this is all the way from the UK. Okay, so we're just currently unwrapping. So this is for those of you wondering. We I found this onliners on social media. It was a portable potty. Imagine a cardboard magician's hat that you would bring with you. Have it stored in the car, and if your child needs to do a number two and you're in the car, you can then pop this like the floor of the back of the car. Did you say hat they quite old design? Yeah? Wa wa wa wa wa wait wait,

Just bend him over, like my mate, Mike, his kid.

Shout out to Mike. Handsome Mike. That's what I called him, handsome Mic hot chippies.

We're at the skatepark and then a kid needs to do a bush pooh.

I was going on to watch.

Of course, and concerning mate, the shot out like a cannon. It made a noise like a straight to the bush quick wife. I want to get that checked out. He's the anal PSI on that boy. He's going to give me impressive of prolapse.

Yeah. Probably.

You don't want of those audi assholes times. He's an adult.

Goodness, speaking of oudy assholes, how are you? Thank you? I'm good, I'm very good. I'm You're just mate, Like I said, holding down the fort and I just want to I just want to say ash. I mean this with every fiber in my body. You were doing an amazing job right now.

Thank you, thank you. I am battling on. I'm soldiering on. Just for context, my wife is very sick. She's some would call a bedridden. And look she's trying to like get on with it and not act like she's not sick, but like trying to think that she needs to be the hero to keep the house going, which is true.

This family only needs one hero and that hero is Ashwear. It's me at the moment.

So she is at home, hopefully she's not working, and hopefully because I can't watch her all the time, I was like her when I left, just watch you look after her?

Get some rest? Would you like shut the curtains. I can't watch you can't watch her all the time. How do you? How do you look? After April?

Just watching her in the corner of the room has pinned out, as are you rest? I just I know that she wouldn't be in bed with the you know, trying to get some round.

I know she'd be sending emails right now.

She would be she'd be yeah, she'd be sending emails, DMS. She'd be doing washing, and she'd be absolutely battling because you know, women soldier on us men. No, I'm straight to sleep. Sorry, I'm just a carrier and now I'm carrying on to you. But yeah, that's very tired. We did have and we were lucky enough the other night to be invited to Manly see Eagles Awards night.

I don't know how we got there, but we did. They love you over there. It was It was very nigh. It was a beautiful effect.

The food was amazing and like I said, I never really eat the event and more of a drinker.

But you said, and I quote, that's the first function I've ever been to where I've eaten something for sure.

One time I was at a wedding and I ate a whole bowl of potatoes and that's.

The only other part.

So yeah, it was a lovely affair, lots of really nice people for dreams.

But also I feel like it's the first time you've been invited to something as prestigious as that you do. I feel like you would take a bullet for mainly the NRL team for those wondering. And you went to that event and you had a couple of cheeky beers and you were home at a very reasonable hour which is unlike you.

You were like, it's concerning to you because of how much fuel you probably have left in the tank, And honestly I was. I was fatigued then, so like I was like happy to get home before midnight.

I do want to let the listeners know about something in particular that was a standout for me at the event. Okay, yeah, there is one manly player who was very well known. He's now retired, one of the most famous manly players. His name is Steve Menzies. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, And that one player happens to be the only player that you've had to run in with yeah a while ago. Yeah, And you were like, God, I wonder if I'm going to see Steve Menzi.

We saw him in the lobby and I was like, let's avoid Steve.

Can you just inform the listeners why you and Steve Menzies may not like each other?

First of all, we said let's avoid Steve Menzi's. Then we got shown to our table and guess who was sitting next to saying on the same table and you took a bullet straight up.

And sat right next to my messaged manly and said, can we can we request to see need to write manly people together again.

So we were sat right next to him, and he didn't at first.

We were it was fine.

It was you know, he's a lovely guy, and I just want to just set this up. He is one of the greatest players to ever be produced.

He is.

He is a lovely man and a beautiful wife, and wife is to see that everyone of.

The man in the organization. If you're listening, you're very lovely.

Anyway, I went on to say to Steve, you don't remember me? Do And it was a few years ago.

And you said that I think we'd had four awards, we had the entrees, and it was lovely. There was no tension at the table, and I thought, hey, maybe maybe you won't bring it up because there's no need to because everyone's having a great time. Everyone's been polite. Oh I'm going to bring it up. And you're like, Steve, you do you remember me. I did leave a part out.

Of the story to him that I recalled that I'll say here, but I did say, Steve, do you remember me? And he was He was kind of like, and look, I'm older, I have way more tattoos.

Now. Some would say my crow's feet are way more obvious now. I was just a child, and Steve would also meet a lot of people everywhere he goes people he did ask him for a photo.

We won this competition through a friend of mine. It was four of us who would get to be go and watch a Sunday afternoon game down at Brook Valley, the Fortress as we call it, and to sit in the back of a ute and watch the game. So we're a bit higher on the hill. Free beers, free food, the whole bit. But also Steve Menzies picks you up, take you there personally, which is.

A lovely touch, lovely gesture. He's picked us up.

I was already pierced when he picked me up. And he picked me up and he had his kids in the car, and you know what, I'm my grandkids. I don't hold my tongue whatsoever. So I'm like fucking tag lashing around the place.

Also gonna to say that's on Steve. Yeah, that's his fault for reading the kids. Obviously forgot that he had the kids that afternoon. And yeah, and then his wife's like, well, I'm off to see the girls. He's like, but I'm picking up these boys, and he's said, we'll bring the kids, and he's like, what's the worst could happen? Yeahsh is the worst that could happen, exactly right.

And it was a forty degree day and we flogged Parah and he was like, I do remember the game. I remember the game. And we had photos and stuff, which were nice photos. He was like, fuck, I really want to find the photo. But the thing that at the time, which really annoyed Steve was and look he gets pulled left, right and center when he goes. Everyone wants a photo with Steve Men because he's a cult hero.

Can I ask you mentioned free food? Did you have any food? And I did.

I did take it for myself, just be up in the bathroom.

Just so that everybody knows.

It was one time in Steve's car, But what really happened was where I said to him, we had it. Do you remember we had a stoush because this is how it wasn't how the afternoon ended, but we had a stoush of sorts and we went to the league's club afterwards, all of us because it was to finish the day. You go to this function, which I didn't get into the function because of this situation. I everyone that day who stopped Steve. He was given autographs out. He's a lovely guy. Like I said, he was just

Co involment, cot involvement and cook.

And then a little while later he actually because he's he works in nine to five. Now he's a broke, he's a algage broken. And he actually used to get on sometimes we get on the bus that I was on in the morning, and I remember one time it was a big bendy bus and I was at the front. There's no other seats he walked on. And this was close to the time this all happened not long after, and he got on the bus and I was my seat and nose you're on next to me. Only the

No joke, And.

I'm talking about this might be ten years ago now.

Maybe he just realized if he got his wallet, it doesn't end there.

My friend, Okay, I used to go to the league's club gym, and I remember there was the what do they call this press machine, chest press, just say chest press machine that faced the door, so when you're walking in, you just lock eyes with that person. I was on that machine.

Steve walks into the leg's club gym, seize me, We lock eyes. He turns around and he walked out. That's twice. That was ten years ago. Again. Could have forgotten his wallet, could have.

Could have been and he's gone on coincidence.

Maybe I don't know, but I mean, who could stay angry at that face?

No one, no one care, not even Steve men not even Steve Men's was forgotten about it, obviously, and then he knew.

I reckon, he knew you're like you like, Steve, do you remember this face? And he was like ooh, And then his wife was like, that's that guy who you always said you fucking want to avoid it and he's.

Sitting next to you at the Manly Awards. But thankfully, look water over the bridge. We had a lot of fun with Steve's So thank you, Steve Man, and you are forgiven.

One of the biggest rivalries in Manly has now been resolved. People can sleep at night knowing that Ashwicks no longer has any enemies where he's born. It was my only enemy, I think. I don't know. There could be more. Yeah, if you are an enemy of Ashwicks, please write in and tell us what happened.

To be Actually there is an enemy with someone I had a stout or someone on a golf course.

Anyway, but it was a good night and you went home at a very reasonable hour with steak in your belly. Yeah that was nice as well as a.

Few beers, only a few very well behaved and I could have I could have easily, but look I didn't.

I went home. I was playing the role of April, where you were like one more drink and I was like, do you think that's a wise idea. I did.

God, April, I did have a set of keys. So get home, new house, still working out. The King's must be nice. It's a rental, so it just relates a bit rich. And I get home and the screen door is locked, and I don't have a key for the screen door.

Great, I don't want to wake everyone up. How did you go getting down that driveway?

After a few beers, I slid a few times and then I thought, I'm going to get in the house and the back door doesn't lock, and it's but it's up on like a two story back andy. So there's me eleven thirty at nights, scowling the side of the.

Brand new suit, brand new MJ Baales suit.

Anyway, I sneak in, I go have a shower, come out of the shower, and Macey's crying.

Here we go.

It's midnight at this point, and I'm like, got her back to sleep, okay, I go off to bed, and then of course she starts to cough, and she coughed for two hours before she went back to sleep.

And then, yeah, how do you get back to sleep?

Just lay with her, I said, lay with her and let a cough into my mouth nice pretty much because she doesn't understand. She's like, ah, I don't. And I could just feel the breath on my face every time for two hours and then yeh got three hours sleep and came here yesterday and fell asleep on the couch.

And here we are and here we are and I'm tired.

So yeah, how are you?

Oh?

How was the weekend? Actually, I'm we're going to let that one slide.

The weekend was good, thanks mate. The weekend was good. Was down in Aladullah, because it must be nice. We have purchased a house down going must be We are currently two months in to a Renno. That is just getting bigger and more complicated. How did the terminite situation go? What's the deal with that? Look, it's it's actually, it's all right. Termites have resolved themselves. Well they've been killed.

They're like they found us.

We love the South Coast. I will just got married down there, and we go down there for like, if we go away somewhere, no disrespect to up North Northern Beaches, Central Coast, lovely players up there. We normally go down south. We look south, you're on south side of Sydney.

Well it makes more sense, like why would you go like we would go north. The problem is just going north when you already live north. If you want to go further north, you've got to go south to go north.

In Sydney. It's weird. It's a fucking nightmare. But we had a little sniff, as you do sometimes, you know, you just like go to real estate dot com put in a different suburb and you're like, see what's around. We saw this place, like fuck, that is epic, and we're going down anyway. So we thought we'll just go to the open house because it just so happens at the open home was the same time as we were down there. This is months ago, and Laura was like,

A poorly washed force kin.

Everything. Sorry, but yeah, and then that includes you know as well, we pulled off from jip Rock and then they are fu termitess like, oh my god. So it's it's it's been a lot bigger than we anticipated. And also a couple of arguments here.

In the ash I can imagine.

We The biggest argument we've had so far was over a French cream white, which is an off white for those wondering, versus a white wool white. You've worked ash in in construction before. I feel like you've got a great eye for detail. Should I get into character now? Please? Oh, I say, Laura, that was a lovely spot of shaving paint.

Can I please see the colors that you wish for me to have an opinion?

Not okay, this is this is a white wave white wave, yep, this is tormentor Oh.

It's a huge difference. There's a massive difference.

In those two. Yeah, are you fucking high? No?

I wish you got to think that's very bright white. That's a dull white. It's a bit more of a tan white. Wow, got the others? You want to run by me?

Give me, give me? You and Laura should be running this house.

I sat down with her and went through the tile stuff.

Did you really? Yeah? So fleeting with my wife your own home.

But we both were wearing clothes. It's all good, Thank you, thank you the heavens.

So yeah, currently kindly discussing all the details of including the paint colors, which ash on top of everything else. When it's ten o'clock at night and you want to go to bed and you got to go through and you gotta p out colors of things. I don't I don't care. My words were. My words were, I don't care enough about these colors to have an argument with you. And then that was responded with, so you don't care about this house? Oh yeah, yeah, it's one extreme to

And it's like, if you're not interested in something that there might be slightly interested in, you've insulted them and everything about it so like, for example, if April's like watching a TV show, I'm like, this TV show is garbage, and it's literal garbage.

She'd be like, oh, what do you just hate me? Do you? You didn't make the TV show?

She takes offense like she's the producing director or something.

But Laura said, look, there's there's one little part of the house that you can have whatever you want. I don't care, like whatever you want to have in there. The basement. It was a little bit through the on sweet She's like, whatever tiles you want, go nuts, And I was like, I was like, cool, i want like stripes, green and white stripes.

I'm just thinking that once Orne goes in there and it's a cinema room.

Just a toilet and a big screen, like perfect. And so Laura's got great eye for design, you have to say that though. She's very very talented and beautiful and funny. And she was like, whatever you want, babe, you can eat that bathroom. It's your project. It's yours trap, bro okay. And so then I was like, great, lock it in green and green and white stripe. Let's go green white stripe.

But also, this wouldn't have been the first time that she's heard.

About this idea. No, no, no, she's had exactly. It was like one of the first I locked in.

Don't don't stop me when I'm about to lock it in, stop me when I suggest it.

And so then Laura's like, okay, look, if you're happy with it, we'll lock it in. I was like great. And then she went to work. This morning she called me and I'm like, hey, where are you And she goes, well, I'm just I'm just at the tile shop. Oh god. And I was like okay, and she's like, I just want to send you something. Greenish shripe are no longer happening at She was like, and I did send you something and tell me if you like it. And it does look better. It does look much better, I have

Laura blink twice, Matt blink twice.

Yeah, so we're getting their mate, we get Actually, I need your help. I do need your help with something, okay right now? No, no, no, not right now, not the second because I know you have to go back to your sick family. I do, and know it's a big ass because I didn't help you move your house.

Oh no, absolutely not, no, absolutely. I just need help with some of the gardening down there.

Yeah. So are you offering me a weekend away like you me it's your weekend? Yeah. No, kids, hard labor, hard labor. All we need to do is just rip out a heap of plants. It'll be fun. Just an idea. I know what's a long way to drive, and I know that where will we say? Well, books are where? Nice?

Would you say it would be romantic?

Absolutely?

I mean I mean you had me, and you had me.

Okay, in a few weeks time. I just need to come down, because you know I'm not that manly Ash. You, however, you're so masculine, so strong, and you know you know your way around a set of tuls, Thanks God. So that's why I need you there.

Okay, all right, all right, I'll do it because if I don't do it, you'll end up with Falcon.

For those of you who don't know, my good friend, Falcon is a lovely young man. He would take a bullet for you. He would take a bullet for me. Not the best in the garden knocking my hands on.

No, he's more like, throw your party sort of guy. Yeah, okay, well list do that list of that Ash.

I know it's almost lunchtime, so I don't want to make you even hungrier than what you are right now. But you know, when you're near a subway and your nose is just a little bit tickled by the smell of warm bread, I'm like a dog. I can sniff my way to a store.

I could actually go for a subway, now, I bet.

You could, big guy. You know who gets to take full advantage of the subway treatment. Ash?

You know who have a guess trades as tradies whom must be nice Ashes someone who's just entered the trading world for the first time recently with the renaults down South.

There's an important date coming up that only US trades would know about, Matthew.

That is National Trade's Day this Friday, the twentieth September.

However, sir, I do not believe you are a trade now. It's marked in the calendar as my second favorite day only second to Christmas. And Subway is very specially are celebrating US trades by offering free delivery with Subway delivers on the Subway up from Friday, September twenty until September twenty sixth. Terms and conditions apply.

You keep referencing US Tradees, Matthew.

Yes, US trades ASH. We need to stick together anyway.

Subway's got this limited edition menu item, the Subdog, perfect for Tradees Day lunch.

I always get the subdog ash as a trade myself. That's what I enjoy most eating with my trading friends. It's like a cym and hot Dog had a baby. You get it, No, I get it. I Maybe there's no better way to show some up to your favorite trade. Just swap out the toolbox for a subdog or your favorite sub make sure you check out the Subway app to get that free delivery.

Hit up the app, grab yourself a subdog, maybe even a cheeky cookie, and celebrate Trade's.

Day with Subway.

I want to just quickly talk about something very quickly which has come across my desk that I cannot go on without just asking you, like, what your thoughts are on this please. So friends of mine have a three year old daughter, and you've got daughters.

I've got a daughter and around that age. My daughters are also three, one of the and you know, you.

Just swimming, you can get your kids like Oscar you did rugby. And so their daughter took up dancing.

I loved that. I've thought about getting mole in the dance and you know, and just just three, just keep that in mind, just three, three years three, innocent. My friends of this child have received an email from the from the dance school about this particular child. I just want to know what your thoughts are on the email.

Or read it out offering her a scholarship so to whom it may concern, which is the parents, of course, I hope this will hang on a second.

Sorry, just before you continue, that was just me saying.

It's only directed to that to the parents. Very informal. Yeah, I hope this message finds you well. I wanted to reach out to discuss Ziggy's behavior in our Tiny Tots class. Tiny Tots, come on now. We value presence in our program and are committed to ensuring that every child has a positive and productive learning environment. However, we've noticed that she has been struggling to stay engaged during lessons, which

She's fucking three, bro, Yes we continue, Let's go on.

Sorry, but I'm with you next paragraph. Unfortunately, the current situation is affecting the overall learning environment not only but also for the other students in the class. We feel that she may not be fully benefiting from the lessons at this time. It might be helpful to consider taking a short break from the classes until she is more comfortable following the instructor of the lessons.

Let me know what you think. I can credit your account that they no there is for when she is to return. Please feel free to reach out if you'd like to discuss any further where anything we can help to support. We're here to help and want to ensure the best outcome for everyone involved. So that's been written by a lawyer. Bro This also nice touch. The email finds you well to her makes sense.

It's a three year old getting booted out of a dance class.

Yeah, they're not learning like backflips and pirouettes, like, they're probably just there going like that's what level of dance are they learning?

What is this Dallas cow Dallas cheerleaders or whatever it is.

It's like you just didn't make.

The cut, sweetheart, get out, get out?

She's three?

What do they do twel that is, Look, she's not twirling fast enough.

Just losing. That's absurd, it's absurd, And like what three year old has an attention span that's like longer than thirty seconds? Like their kids, dude, the kids just put the music on and let them run around and have fun. Yeah, so essentially they're not welcome back. Wow, can I ask? I do have to ask, because you know there's some kids can be very naughty, like you know she is she in there like wielding a crowbar, and she's.

No, she is such a sweet little girl. She's the sort of little girl who will come up to me and go, oh, cuddle, just give me a cuddle straight up. Maybe I'm in sort of some sort of emotional tumol, I don't know, but she'll still come up and say, you know, she's a sweet.

You're you're quite the tormental. So maybe she she like knows her own she's like, what, no, that she so?

So?

What do they say back where it's still pending? But obviously you just they're not.

They're actually and this is the sad part about it, they're too too embarrassed to go back.

Oh yeah, you wouldn't go back. You couldn't. That's fucked. That's no good.

I know, like we were as as parents of young kids. Our kids aren't going to be behaved all the time. They're gonna be doing silly. And it's hard enough to even say to another parent that your kids accidentally hurt them. Look, I'm so sorry, like or.

Like is she on a scholarship? Can we just know so paying? They're paying paying? Dude. There have been so many times like every second swimming lesson my kid is like screaming bloody merd because she doesn't want to get in the water with a teacher I'm paying dude.

Yeah, my response to that would be, suck it up and do your job better. How about that? How about you keep them engaged? How about that one? Or maybe hire someone that can or maybe I'm moving to a dance school that know what they're doing.

I think that's very ridiculous, and I'm sorry to the parents out there that are currently dealing with the situation. If you or if.

You are dealing with a similar situation, is this I don't know. Look, this is the first time I've encountered this. I'm still pretty new.

If anyone was to get kicked out of a lesson, I feel like it might be yourself. Ash, did you ever get removed from classes?

Removed from classes on a daily basis?

From what age? Since the daughter very early on? Oh when mom is your teacher said that you very early on? It was very early on. I was very disruptive in class, But from what age? But I think, like, I think.

Look, this is where I'm going to throw an opinion on what this class should have done. Go on, they should have said, hey, there's some problems, she's disruptive or like she's not engaged. Instead of going we feel you should take a break, they're like, hey, is there anything that like we can.

Help or is maybe you should come.

Sit in in the classes a little bit more, offer something.

Don't just be like you're fucking out.

Three year old, get the fuck out of here, Like literally, that's what's happened.

Although we shouldn't pass judgment without having to sit through a whole lesson with this said child.

Very true, but three year old, I think in general, three year old, don't think that's fair. I love a passionate I will get an update on the situation, please please, I actually hang one, I need to yell right here.

You're raising voice and it's not needed.

Two days ago I had to help them out and babysit this child for a little while, in between one finishing work and the other starting work.

Fucking this guy because mother Theresa over here, ladies and gentlemen in Halo looking after his We not only his kids, left my sick family to them. That's literal. April's like, ash, where's that where's the neurofin in that bottle of water? Yeah?

And absolute delight with me. Both kids were so I don't see, I don't I.

Don't buy it. Was this whole story just an opportunity for you to talk about the fact that you're No. I agree with you. I think it's I agree with you. Hey, Ash, it's time for parenting hack or that. Oh yes, I think I have a great parenting hack that you will love, that everyone will love. Parents'll be the all around the world. We'll get on board with this parenting hack. Late on me big Does anyone else eat dinner at four twenty five pm? Because your kids ask for a snack and

That's bang on, thank you, because also then you can bring the whole night forward and they're in bed by like five.

Because I don't know the concept of time. I don't know if it's just my kids. But if they look at a rice thin, a rice cracker, just look at it, have a slither, do they're not eating anything for two days? I know? I know, Ma, She hasn't eaten anything in days, and I'm over it, and like she is happy and healthy. Yeah, let's just yeah, caveat that might sound terrible anyway, she's locked in a cage, so she should be fun. I've got one for you it believe it or not.

It's just look it. It's pretty silly, this one. I just thought I was never no, never, okay, so.

Just scroll he's scrolling. I don't scroll my history. It's amazing. That's very good.

When Oscar was a baby, he used to love a butt tap, like when he was like one one and a half, when he was like, how you see the child?

Yeah?

Yeah, So to the fact where when we stopped doing it, we were like, no, I'm not sitting in here for twenty minutes, patnyr butt, I'm getting Carple Tunnel on my rear.

Can you not? Bro Just going through Ash's phone. But for those wondering, it's it's it's one of those mulletfish, like the robotic mulletfish that like in between inappropriate content of future ideas. Someone's roped with rope attached this fish to the child, a newborn child, and it's just like but very good, very good, so oscar.

When we started to withhold the butt pack because of my wrist started to hurt a lot, and because of that, he used to I used to catch him on the monitor going like, there is himself.

The same. I know he's just like and then he crimes off to sleep. Just give the man what he wants. Is it time for tell me loud? Tell me little live? Lauren says. This week the power went out at home, which meant the kids couldn't watch TV. Once the power came back on, I told them only normal TV works from now on, and they can only watch ABC Kids. None of the other streaming services are working anymore. It's said a lot of arguments. Yeah, okay, good.

Can I just comment on it quickly before you add you absolutely? I agree smart, because when they have no other options, they'll just suck it up and get on with it.

Love that go very good? But also like how I wricked my pants? Oh no, sorry, I think that was me before give me your pants? Isn't it wild though that in this day and age, punishment is just watching ABC Kids, Like that's theirs to.

Be hard labor back in the day.

Get back to sewing. Okay, what I think Lauren should have done is she should have said. That is Santa Claus turning off the power when you're misbehaving and he's always watching. So if you don't want to get the TV turned off, behave better and apologize the sounder right now.

And I think what you're alluding to, Matthew, it is the most wonderful time of the year where you can lie through every one of your teeth to your children about what Santa.

You don't want any presents for Christmas in control of. And it's remarkable how many things Santa is in control of. Parents need to shift right now and start like moving all their lives to be Christmas factor now. Act yeah, I'm just just a word of warning. Act now, and then after Christmas you can always say he'll come back.

He'll come back for it. You know what, you know what Santa gave you, He'll come.

Back for the Christmas is fun on Christmas Day for kids, but we now know as parents that it's really just six months of pure fucking anxiety for kids and so much fun for you. Do you want anything for Christmas? You want to be the one kid on Christmas Day? Because nothing Your call, your call to me. I'm just getting child with flashbacks. It is.

It's great and it's so fun for us because honestly, I'll use it. I will use doubt that for anything.

Questions.

Yes, I have a really quick question for you, please, very quick one very recent.

I'm talking this week.

Over fresh Oscar Overnight has become afraid of the family dog. And my question is because you have quite a big dog. It's not a full dog, but it's a big dog. What I mean by full dog is only three legs, so it's only three quarters of a dog, but it's big. Have the girls ever they ever just got scared? Like he is petrified, Like won't go near the dog. The dog just know us up. It's confused, like.

Did the dog do something? No, just woke up one day. Did he watch something? I don't know. You can't explain it, like it wasn't like we spoke about the other day at the football the dogs police dog's attacking people, like Oscar hasn't some I watched something showing dogs being violent. Maybe he's witnessed an attack in public. I think he would tell me something. Have you asked him why he's afraid? Because I mean, yeah, he won't give me an answer.

The only things he could mutter to me about it were, it's because she hasn't seen me in a while.

And I'm like, what, it's a bit strange. The kids. The kids sometimes disliked the cat. The cat does this thing where he doesn't cats suck, not Raspberry. I love you. I think she's speaking English. She will sit on the stools and she crouches below and she swipes. She's a swiper. And sometimes the kids and it's more just them being startled.

Oh my god. Yeah, fear is a strange thing, isn't that.

Maybe he was maybe like he had an interaction with the dog. The dog's tiny. No, not with that dog any other dog.

Need to get to the bottom of this, need to get but also it's hard to be like, I'm like, bro, there's this been your dog your whole life.

That's why I don't think it was that dog was another dog just saying, okay, not that I'm going to take anyone has any suggestions of what it might be, It'll just be the same thing. There's been a bunch of people right in and go now simply must have happened with another dog. No shit, I want more psychology than that, do they? Instead of paying for professional help? Listeners?

Please way more, way more experience.

What do you got for me? I have a question for you. This one is from one of our good listeners. Her name is Jesse. Hello Jesse, Jesse, hope you're well submitted on the Instagram page. For those playing at home, you can DM the Instagram page. Please use your question. Please dm us anytime you wish. We're always open, always welcoming. Jesse says, asks Even we know mum guild is a thing, but what about dad guilt? When do you feel at most?

Surprisingly enough? Yes, I am apparently to.

Me apparently know what Steve Menzie is. No, I did avoid you for a long time. Yeah, but do you get parent guild? Yeah? When do you get it?

I get it when I feel like I've reacted to something I've just knee jerk reacted.

So, for example, this whole scared thing Oscar scared, I got.

I got angry about it because I was frustrated to not because I didn't know why. But then after after the reaction, and you know, I think time has gone by the react. My reaction was wrong and I felt guilty about that, and I did speak to Oscar, but I said, look, sorry, it's you shouldn't get in trouble for feeling fear.

Yes, because as irrational as it may be.

Yeah, it's like I needed to be more patient in that situation and try and understand why instead of just kneed.

She's been a fucking dog for five years, bro.

Which is wrong. And I did feel guilty about that. Had the chat with Oscar, we mended with mended, mended, and I have acknowledged that it's okay to be scared, it's okay to feel fear.

I want to say, that's a great approach to the situation. Very mature of you.

I'm growing. I'm scared of that.

Yeah, I feel it. I feel it, I reckon I feel it now more than ever. I think why. I think when so my kids five and three, it's a great age and it's a great time of parenting because the kids can be a bit more autonomous. Yeah, they can kind of play with themselves a little bit more.

And also you take you sort of take any inconvenience in that to bring things forward.

Right, So that's it. I'm starting the bath, yeah, do you know what I mean? And it's like it's just to get you through and then once it's like, oh they're in bed, Oh fuck, I do it as well. You know what you know we did the other night, which just was a stupid thing to do. It's sweet, but stupid. Is then going through and looking at photos

And you're like, ah, you've also got a like And for any parent with young kid out there that feels guilt, whether it's on a small scale or a large scale, I think you're allowed to give yourself an opportunity to like feel that way so that you can go, all right, well, how do I change that behavior or like, it's also okay to feel guilty.

You can't.

You shouldn't have to be made to feel like you're doing a bad thing for feeling guilty, because if you feel guilty, then you realize that, Okay, well there's better ways that I could do that, and then next time you could do it.

That makes sense, it does in a way, But yeah, I'm feeling it more now than ever before.

Yeah, And like I'm saying, like they you sort of go into that.

Auto pilot because the quality time, the quality time with the three and five year old is a lot more like I find it a lot richer if you will then with like a like a one year old, because you get to interact more, you get to play games, you get to like you know.

Even if you're playing the games incorrectly. Yeah, you know, like Ann next four Mass Just like.

So I just don't feel like I'm getting that quality term, especially on the weekends as well, because weekends we're just focus on other things. So yeah, dads get it, dads get it good all the time.

But I think, like I said to, I think you're allowed to feel guilty. You don't feel like it's a bad thing because it could be turned into a good thing.

Yeah, thank you, as that's okay. We're here to help love you and I you all right, let's get out of here. If you enjoyed this episode, please we would love it if you gave us a review, subscribe, send it to anyone out there who you think may have a gig at us. Any lies, any questions please, even a parenting hack that you're maybe not sure about, or if you have a parenting hack, send it to us and we'll let you know if you're wrong.

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We pay our respects to their elders past and present and extend that respect to all Aboriginal and Torres straight on the People's Today.

This episode was recorded on Gadigal Land