#88 Braith Anasta On Navigating The Single-Dad Life

Ash.

Today is a very very good day.

Yes, Matt, we have a bonus episode and today's bonus episode is with former NRL player and Fox commentator Braith a NaSTA.

You can catch him currently.

Sunday Afternoon Footy along with NRL three sixty all on Fox League.

And this story is one that we haven't actually told on the podcast before because Braith is a single parent.

Yes, he's very open about the challenges he has navigating two kids. He shares with two separate relationships.

His dad to ten year old Aaliyah, and also he has Gigi who is seven, So amongst that plus work, he is juggling a hell of a lot.

We also want to give your heads up. Braith shares his experience of losing his father to suicide when he was just fifteen. It's a deeply moving part of his story.

Yeah, his father's influence continues to shape how both parents his own kids today. I do want to say that whilst we do talk about the topic of suicide, if you are struggling or you need any help, please reach out to Lifeline on one three eleven one four. They are open twenty four hours. We'll also put some more details in the show notes.

Shall we get into it, Let's do it.

Welcome back to three doting dads.

I'm Maddie, Jay, I'm Ash, and I'm Breath and Asta.

This is a podcast all about parenting. It is the good, it is.

The bad and the relatable.

And if you've come wanting any type of advice, don't do it. Not from us. Well maybe maybe from Braith, maybe some unintentional advice.

We always we always preface the show saying we don't give advice so we don't get in trouble.

Okay, we have been talking to Breath for a couple of minutes. Wise Man Wise, Wise Man Ash and I.

Just sitting here just absorbing the knowledge that experience feeling out of break right now.

There's these dad hierarchy too.

It's like the older you kid, okay, the higher up you sit on the chain that I'm pretty like that.

I've compared to you guys. I'm six and ten.

Six and ten, so you're yeah, you're your top of the food chain.

I'm looking down at you.

We've got five year olds and three and two trenches.

You are in the trenches. Yeah.

Does it get easier?

It gets a little easier.

It depends like I had My youngest wasn't youngest was a poor sleeper, like debilitating, like just getting sleep. We tried everything for it, and that that really is the killer. The rest I feel like you can deal with. But I'm getting to the point now where my tour I'm worried about the teens.

Two girls. Oh man, you got it.

Actually, before we get into before we end, if we go back to when you were a youngster born in Sydney, grew up in Malabar, what was it like back then?

It was awesome because I lived in Mali, which was on a golf course and it was a bit out of the rat race of Sydney.

You know, it's not far.

It's fifteen minutes from here and probably twenty minutes from the city, but it was like being in a little country town mailerbats. It's built up a bit more now in the jail actually so next to a long bay jail. But if they stay inside, the film used to break out.

But that's another story.

Yeah, Like there's times where the siren goes off and literally it's two hundred made us from Like we're in a beautiful place, but you're under made us from the biggest jailing the country and you see coppers running around looking for the and we're on a golf course, right, so you can see the coppers going on the golf course checking all the cliffs and the trees, and we're all I'm on the back and we're just.

Like watching it all on fold.

And we had a little alleyway next to us from the street to the golf course. One day I saw a prisoner running down the alley and I'm like, but like, didn't want him to see me because I'm thinking, I don't want.

Nothing to do with Witness twelve. And they end up catching him.

But did your parents have to say to you, like when you hear the siren?

Yeahwhere But after a while it only happened every few years, but it did happen.

Exciting, Yeah, pretty exciting anyway.

Who who introduced it a sport? Was it your brother?

Well, my, my, my mum.

I was I was born in a sporting family really because my uncle was George Piggins and George he was played for Australia, was coach president of South City Rabbit Oz played for Souse. He's the hero really, so it was just ingrained me from the second I was born. I was born with a foot in my hand, and then I was I was just tragic sport like it was rugby league, rugby union, golf, so he grew up on a golf course, so I just jumped the back fence too.

Which is good.

So was it league league?

For league?

First I played just southeast and on there a piney parking Meliba, and then that was my first love. And then played rugby union for Couldie and then round we can New South Wales and all that the same sort of thing. And then yeah, cricket was the same, played for Eastern Cricket of all trade.

Yeah, a bit of everything.

I got to ask as a youngster, I would have loved to play professional sport.

The problem was I.

Was a bit ship. It doesn't help.

The best I really do was scrape into like an a team and that I'd be like, what sport did you play? I played everything, so cricket, rugby, athletics, Like I try my hand hoping I would like find one sport.

Even did the walk.

You're a power walker, just to be like, maybe that's the you should see you should see his power?

Yeah, maybe after the record, we.

Do it. We did it. The cricket.

That's what we did, like a day of the.

Were like dressed in full dad gear and were like he just took off.

He was so fast.

The blokes would have loved that, right. Yeah.

The problem was I was actually pretty good at it and I went to States.

But we went off track. You're actually good, but I.

Was like, no one, no one wants to. I would have loved to play rug when you were playing sport.

Was it a case of you're very good at anything you let your hand to.

I don't want to your horn. Man, this is the time. I was very lucky. Like I don't want to sound like that. I was like gifted in that way where just the handle I start, fuck.

You, it sounds like you're a professional athletic, professional athlete, breath, you're allowed to tell people that you were gifted.

I was lucky. I was.

I think my parents for that. But yeah, I was like I just whatever. I played there for a while, I was. I had quite a bit of success, and yeah I loved every bit of it. So I was pretty lucky there.

And your Greek heritage was that something that was celebrated in the family.

Uh, yeah, definitely.

My dad was proud Greek, full Greek, and he spoke fluent Greek. But he was like an I was right, but he spoke fluent, very proud of his heritage. He'd seen the national anthem often, which is the only thing I kind of know, give us a little bit. I can't speak Greek, by the way, that's just from him singing a dinner that's pretty good.

What do you sing it?

He a family tradition before we eat kids. He's a his take. But yeah, so and and I'm still close to my Greek family. I didn't get the chance to go over to Greece much, which is a shame, but I have been there, but no, you know, I wish I got more invested in at a young age and learned the language.

That's one of my big regrets. And I tell a lot of kids these days.

If you've got the opportunity your parents speak a certain language, definitely try and learn it.

Why didn't you want to pick it up?

You know when you were young sort of.

Growing up in a very Australian suburb and school and you know it's not really the cool thing to do, which is a shame, but at the point at the time it's you know, you just want to fit in and you know, do you want to be cool and all that sort of thing, which you look back on as stupid, but I think that was the reason why really.

Else now I look back on it's one of my big regrets.

What about when the movie The Wog Boy came?

That was my family was where you guys a fan of the movie or I loved it jumping in front of the car and compo planes and that was such a kid with a big lunch box. You know that that's so true, but you know, you know, it's it's just the culture.

Did you get sent to school with?

Like would you lay your lunch out?

And I wish I did, know because I love them, I wish I did. Greg food is.

Believable, funny, Like as I get older and I see it because there's not a lot of Greek restaurants or Greek plays, especially on the beaches we've got, and when you come across the Greek restaurant, you're.

Like going to get the Greg.

Yeah, not good for the question.

I think it's that generation. Laura is my wife.

Her background, they're Italian, they're down from in Woollongong And and he was he worked in the minds her granddad, and it was they tried to rub that out of them.

I think that's probably a part of did she did she know? Did her dad speak fluent?

Well, he was fluent.

Does she does she speak?

And she rarely would hear him speaking. But they still had like a goat in the garden.

It's funny because my mind dad's side, they're indigenous, but his dad used to tell everyone that he was Spanish because he wasn't he They pretend that they.

Went because my grandmother was white. You couldn't be with a black boy.

It was like, yeah, there was the joke is that there's a really strong Spanish community in tari.

Was there a case of there being a good cop and bad cop with your parents growing up?

Was the displayer definitely?

Who is scared of d.

My my my dad was the good cop and my mom was a bad cop.

But my dad was terrifying when.

He actually lost it, when he got like the handprints I had on my body. It was run in the bedroom like that was. It took him a lot. But if he cracked it.

And do you remember what would qualify for a spanking, Ah, yeah, a brother, older brother.

We used to fight all the time, just when we just took it too far. Yeah.

Well, one day actually, because I lived on a golf course, I tried to hit a ball from my backyard onto the green and we had glass panels, and he was on the phone inside.

I think it was one more human.

Was your backyard concrete or concrete?

And I've just.

And I thought, all right, I'm going all right here, I'm gonna hit the ball in the green my knife to straight smash the gall turned around, bolted and copped it.

I think a window smashing is where it is worth.

A pretty poor error judgment. Hopefully you improved your gold. I thought I was gifted.

But yeah, as a dad, now any damage to the household, yeah yeah, texters.

And drawing, and you know it's hard to keep them in line, in at the kids, but yeah it's our mum was good cop, but she was not bad like she was great parents.

But you just keep the day to day discipline, just the.

Day to day which you need. But I was pretty good, to be honest, I wasn't. I wasn't a bad boy. I was pretty pretty good.

With how much older is your brother three years are three?

Was he as good at sport as what you were.

No, very different to me. Were title opposites. He wasn't. He was good, like good, but not to that next level.

But he played rugby league, but he was totally different than me, like different into different things. He was a surfer, skateboarder, extreme athlete, snowboarding, totally different, you know. And yeah, we were total opposites. So it was quite but it happens a lot. Even my two girls now are total opposites and they're only six and ten. But yeah, but he was a big supporter of me and sport and loved it and I just wasn't.

It's very different.

So with your sport, you were very gifted. Did your parents at all have to try and keep you disciplined with that or did you just want it from.

The day I was hungry.

I was like, my goal, like from a very young age was to be a professional athlete, and that was it, you know. I kind of dedicated myself to it, like crazy age. But I feel like I sound like a winker again. But my biggest challenge there was what one to focus on because I had reached quite a level at rugby union league, in cricket and golf, so I had to, because you can't do all of them and get to where you want to get to in the in the in one. Yeah, so that was probably a challenge for me.

But your parents try and steer you in a direction, siding between golf and league for a while.

Yeah.

My dad he was he wanted me to play rugby, but then he was a big fan of the golf as well. So I gave league up and rugby when I was six fifteen sixteen about a year and focused on golf and played on you know, played in the Jack newe And Foundation and played in all the Australian titles and got plus three and played in the New South Wales team there for a bit and so. But then there was a real sliding doors moment where there was a in the Jersey Estuly bore for South Sydney.

We need to be guns.

But I played for a while and I went back and we won the comp and then I made all the teams and the rep teams and then that was it side with the house and it was over from there.

So that was the defining moment for that. Wow.

Yeah, I have seen you swinging a golf club driving.

I wasn't completely sober, but we did have driving range session there and we were average.

I remember taking his swing and I looked over my shoulder. I saw Braith and he was dry reaching.

All I wanted was just to look over and get a knot of a friend.

I look back at the.

I started walking instead.

I've played played a cover drive in golf. I don't know if that's legal.

But when I when I think back to being a young teenager around the age where they are, like fifteen sixteen, there's such formative year. And you have spoken before about the tragic events of your father passing away. Do you remember the events that unfolded leading up to when you found out?

Yeah, it was. It was horrific. So I was close with him Dad, and he was a big supporter. I had a good upbringing, you know, Mama. As I said before, Mum and Dad were fantastic. He was successful in his own right, so he taught me strong values and.

He was a great human being.

Went through a lot of drama himself with business and with the mate of his and got to a point where we knew he was struggling, but we just didn't know it was as bad as it was. And then he just one night he came home from We didn't come home from work. He went to work, and me and Mum and him at that point, because I was only fifteen, we kind of gove for dinner on a Sunday night and we're waiting for him and waiting for him.

Rollercoaster of emotions that you go through? Obviously you start with that initial shock, but then how does it transcend following that?

Yeah, well, I mean your first question, you're thinking why, and then you get angry because you left us and you left my mum to roller coaster for a number of years. But it kind of like, you know, like

Like I see it a lot these days.

And stress, stress and pressure.

Yeah, and I get it, and I don't blame him for it now, like I appreciate it, and I thank him for the lessons I learned too, but because I would never do it, you know what I mean. And I appreciate every day. But I also what he taught me as a father to me, I instill in my kids. But I also know that I'll be a better father for the experience as well, because it's made me a lot stronger as a human.

You know.

Yeah, I think back then, the difference between now and back then someone who has suffered from some mental health issues. It's so crazy how powerful it is now that it's spoken about, and back then it was you know, seen as though, like it was a bit selfish on him.

Yeah.

Yeah, And like there's there's times for me that I sit there and think about, thankfully not nowhere near as much anymore as what if I wasn't around. And the thing that pops into my head is the look on my kid's face. So do you think, do you think now you know so much about it that you know you wish that back then that people spoke a bit more and maybe he'd still be here.

Yeah, this is I'm passionate like sounds like you are about men and men's mental health and talking like all of us, you know, like you know, I've started this is I'm not plugging it, but I've started a program called Strong Dad, which we're going to relaunch very soon. And it's comes from him because I've seen it firsthand, and back then it was like I wasn't proud of it.

You know.

It's very it's not easy, you know, and we want to be able to talk about it. We want to be able to openly talk about how heart it is being a dad, the expectation of paying the mortgage, losing your job, going through a marriage breakdown, or whatever it may be. It happens. It's part of life and we can get through it. How do you get through it? That's where I think if you talk and we have all our all have our coping mechanisms and ways of

You know.

Yeah, when we when we did that episode last year about my mental health, the amount of blokes and wives coming out and the support and it was really overwhelming, Like we have people approaches in the street and talk about it, and it's so good that you know that we're in the right direction because it could.

Help save so many young lives.

And you talk before about you know, almost embarrassed about that Greek heritage when you talk about the stigma back then of suicide. How was it then with you dealing with that suicide publicly and other people finding out about the circumstances.

Shocking, you know, like he had I'm at school in high school and all the kids out they're looking at it, you know, like you're like you're an outcast, like not meaning.

Too, but they didn't know how to deal with it.

Killed himself on the weekend, you know, like it's it was, you know, and this speculation, rumors, innuendo because people just you know, you people would like to make up unfortunately, you know.

So how do you deal with that? Well? I didn't. I didn't.

I kept it all in for long time, and that impacted me through my early twenties so to mid twenties and even my career because you know, it was it was hard and dealing with it and they're not having that a mentor too, like, you know, really to talk to he's he's the guy. I would talk to her about those things, obviously, Mum, I do and still do today, but she can't. You know, it's hard for her, right

It breaks my heart to hear that you're going through that with your family unit. I've heard you speak about the fact that your your family was a great family growing up. But in that moment where someone is such a pillar and keeping the family together is taken away, how does how does the dynamic change between you and your brother.

It's hurt us, It's hurt our whole family.

Like you know, he found my dad, you know, so it's something he will never get over as well, you know, and he's had to deal with that, and you know, it just adds a lot of stress on a family that was perfect one day, you know, it was fractured the next. And you know, like it's because we had a good upbringing and my mom's amazing. It's you know,

And were you trying to feel that that father figure that was taken away from.

Yeah, definitely with mum, you know, because not feel the father figure as such, like just but there be there for mum. You know, Like there was times where I had opportunities to go play in Melbourne or in France or England, and I didn't because I want to stay here. You know, like I may have taken different path, a different opportunity if I if things weren't That's just I wanted to stay here and here.

For did sport feel a lot of your time so that you didn't have to sit there and think about it?

Do you think?

Yeah, why I was playing. That was around the time that I'd given up league. So I had a tournament on days after Wow. Holy my uncle caddy for me.

Yeah.

So I just they said do you want to you don't want to play? And I said, no, I'm playing.

Wow. So that was my.

Didn't break any glass.

I can't remember what I played like, but it was like, okay, let's get on with business.

Let's distraction.

Distraction, which which is great at the time because I just went from tournament sport tournament sport, But then it hits you later because you don't deal with it why you probably should at the time.

Yeah, you remember when it when it crept up and it got you later in life.

It was my mid twenties, early early twenties to med at sort of I will think would have been maybe bulldogs, maybe roosters there, bulldogs probably, but that period where you kind of struggle them a little bit with footy, and then you have the pressure, and you've got media, and you've got you know.

You for me, and you're still young.

I'm only kids still in everything I do is in the papers, and I don't have that my dad did to lean on. You've got financial decisions, to make relationships, all that sort of thing. It creeps up on you and then you you just yeah, it hits your heart and it hit me hard. And then that's why I kind of got a I got a sports sick and then I end up getting a psychologist as well, just and I sort of went back and relived it a bit and dealt with it the trauma and let it

I deal with it. Well.

Did you during that time did you have like a mentor we spoke earlier about now that you manage all these rugby league players and sort of act a little bit like a mental did you have really?

I had a feel on the way, like a few coaches and a few mates and my mum, of course, But I encourage that, like it's something that's what I do. I do with the sports management. I think it's if you've had someone who's been there. Don't live that the good and the bad though, Like you don't always want to just be hearing all the good stuff. Like I like to think that I've lived a lot of experiences and I like to prepare players athletes for the worst

That's why I do it. Yeah, so it's important. Now. Mentors are great, I think, you know, if you can find the right one too.

For sure.

I can only begin to imagine what it's like to have to share this story again. I know you've done it, not just on this podcast, but others as well. I just want to say sayings for being so vulnerable.

Yeah, there's so many young men out there that don't they It's funny they don't, especially like.

My you know, my age.

A lot of my mates they bottled so much shit up and it's fucked and then eventually when they hear someone that they they see a lot of themselves in or they might look up to whether.

You know you don't know them.

They don't know you, but they probably watch you every night on an RL three sixty or see you or in and around the game, and they think when they hear someone like yourself talk about it, they go, fuck, I need to talk about it too.

And even get one juxtaposition because I grew up watching you play footing and then to hear you be so vulnerable, it's such a one eighty to how I saw you as as a player.

It often happens, you know, like I meet a lot of people and they ageez, I didn't expect.

That or what you know, Like that's what I mean, Like you look at.

A lot of people and you don't know their story, you don't know what they've been through, and when you do, you kind of maybe have a different perception.

But also it helps yourself.

But I think the most important thing is you're not alone, yep. And but also the repercussions of of something like that, like the severity of it and what it has not only I mean you know, on your family, your friends, your kids. It is debilitating and the people it's not only I mean, it's the people around.

You that will never be the same as well.

You know, so it's something that I think I think all men and women should think about.

You know, it's pretty full.

On becoming a dad yourself. Was that something that you always wanted to be?

Did you always want to grow up and have a family.

Yeah, I was that kid or that guy that wanted kids from a very young age, like I wanted to be a dad.

That was Yeah, definitely a priority for me from a young age.

And then when you were in your relationship with Jodey at the time, when did you know that you were ready to start having kids Because a lot of people are like, how do you know.

When you're ready?

I don't think you're ever ready, right, Yeah, I just thought I was a back end of my career.

I think it was my last year actually around that point.

Yeah, and I thought it was good timing, you know, like I'm going to retire from being a professional athlete but then move into the media. How old are you roughly at this age, around around thirty.

When did you finish your career at the Roost Tigers?

So I was around thirty one thirty two It would have been trying to do the mass of my head.

Yeah, thirty one thirty two, and I thought he perfect. I wanted him earlier.

But yeah, you know, there's a lot of things to come into it, right, You're going to be happy in relationship, yeah, sure, You're gonna looking for stability and all that sort of thing, and then you know, time to actually give and be there as a dad as well as a professional athlete. I think a lot of the boys timers while they're playing because they're not there.

They got his training. Oh sorry, love, I've got to.

Has never changed U.

That is crazy, That's what I sure. Yeah, I that was the first thing I did, isn't That's unbelievable.

Have you heard that before?

I have heard him.

I probably give it to yourself.

It's we're after your mate, just looking down upon me.

I get it, like he's probably training a lot.

But then.

I threw him on the bars, and I felt bad.

I think sometimes, I know for myself, I always wanted to be a dad. I was so excited, and then like, you have no idea the reality of being a parent, you know, like my taste of being a dad with my sisters older than this, she had children first, So I would like have a little five to minute window and be like, this is great, hand it back. And then when I became a dad, I was like, this is hard. How was it for yourself? As soon as you stepped into that role of.

Being it was hard? I loved it. It was hard. I was very hands on and yeah I did a lot of time, like I thrive offer, but it was it was it was hard work.

I mean lucky. Alia, our first was quite a good sleeper.

That to me makes so like we often talk about you get one or the other. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

And you know, even though I was challenging, Yeah she was. She was. She's quite the angel. But you know, like everything's a challenge.

Right, getting in and out of the cars, going to anywhere, going to parties and dressing and whatever. It's it's all a challenge, right, you got you gotta None of us can really understand, appreciated or be ready for what's to be able to happen until it happens.

Right, Yeah, you can never be prepared.

Ali, if she was a good sleeper, what were the parts of parenting that were really bloody tough?

I think for me.

And this kind of this is more been a single dad, right, it was more when I had it by like I can end up having it by myself, you know, after she was only one or two, you know, like it was pretty pretty early on. Unfortunately myself and my mum separated, But so that was that's a challenge, you know when you've got on one on one pretty much majority of the time too, I had her.

How are you juggling that whilst because you're still playing for.

I'm lucky for my mom. She's like my nanny.

It still is like, you know, I've got three jobs and even back then I had a couple and yeah, so so that was Mum would help me. She's always lived close by. She's just been an angel. Like really I needed her because it's hard work, you know, like just from the second they wake up to the second they go to sleep, they need undivided and.

Entertainment. I'm like a kid myself.

And then you're like, I've got five minutes of duplo.

And iPads and that weren't.

You're like, I'm not going to be that parent with the iPad.

And then.

A lot of walking, a lot of a lot of laps, a lot of walking, a lot of you in sleep, and a lot of entertaining, Like you know, whether it's going to fun parks.

And when you when you did separate, like having having a trial so young, how do you how did you split that out? Like did I mean there's probably people listening that are going through similar things. How logistically, logistically, how do you how did you guys work?

Yeah, I think it's a bit of a tricky one.

It's a bit of a tough one with with with I think Jody's been pretty outspoken about it, with her struggles. So I had Alia a lot for a lot majority of a life. So logistically it was pretty simple. She was at my place a lot, Jodie would have her when she was away from work, and you know, it was in a good space. So yeah, it was pretty much my whole life, you know, like it was it was a single dad.

Yeah, and again without my mom, I wouldn't have been able to do it.

But you know, it's just it's pretty much, I mean, daycare, pick up, you know, and whatever meals everything.

You know, you just do what you got to do.

You just get by and then mom would help out wherever she could if I had work.

But yeah, it was pretty it's full on, Like.

How is it when you're like I think everyone when they envision when they're younger, what it's going to be like having a family. Everyone thinks of this beautiful scenario.

Why I pick it?

Fans?

Yeah, loving home, great relationship, but the reality is often different to that for yourself, when the reality was different to the dream of being a parent, Like, how do you digest that?

Ah?

Mine is so different to the way I thought it'd be, Like it's hard to you know, I mean it's tough, Like I mean, I've got two kids to two different women. You know, I'm not young, but I've that was serious relationships, long term, but it just didn't work out. Now, you know, that was not what I dreamed of at all, And unfortunately it happens, probably more more so these days than we don't like right with I don't know for whatever reason, but it's it's not ideal, you know, Like it's hard.

You know.

For me, it's all about the girls, you know, and given them the best life that I can, and I work hard for that. But you know, I don't want them to be impacted by it as well, you know, broken families, and I want the girls to be together as much as they can, and.

It's it's it's a real tricky one. It's a tricky one, you know.

And then you're trying to discipline both girls the same way, and that's tough because one's in a different house for a period of time and she comes and joins my clan.

Different people, different even asked with two kids, like you know, within our relationships are they're so different, so different, I can't imagine them, you know, two different two different moms, two different households, and then they come to you and you're like, Okay, now we're going to do things my way or this way that way.

Yeah, must be.

That's a big challenge for me, is instilling the right discipline and values like which I'm big on.

Alia is by my side a lot.

So she's got she's she's the easy going one, she's the class captain, she's got great mennas and I feel like she's had those instilled in there for a long time.

The other one, Gg's a wrap back.

And loa like cheeky, you know, poor eater, poor sleeper, you know, can't sit still, just wants to be doing something twenty four seven. But I love everything about it, right, Yeah, the total opposites. But then I'll bring them together and there they're they love each other to death, but.

Click and she's just chirming away the older one and the other one gets the ships and now all of a sudden it's on.

You know, But how how was it when you spoke about your second partner, Rachel? At what point do you go, Okay, I'm now in a position where you know, I'm a single dad, but you would have been pretty young at the time, with thirty four.

Around thirty five.

There you know you're going to want to try and find another companion. Yeah, when you know when you're ready? And how do you juggle that?

It's a hard one, right because when you single dad, you you not only want the right person for you, but more importantly for your kids and they need to be ready for that too. The partner like that's that's a red flag for me, Like I've hearn a lot of red flags. But it's hard you did to find the ideal partner who you know? And Rachel, I have to say she had a son and herself from a

When do you decide, OK, let's introduce the kids together?

Now, this is like, you know, this is a tough one because you to introduce your kids, you need to be sure of the.

Woman and vice versa for a woman with a man. So that's what I'm having trouble with a bit. Is you know, like back then it was you know, we kind of did it within six months and probably moved pretty quick.

On that.

Second time around, I'm a bit more awary of it, you know, because I don't want my kids going through that again. You know, I think the next time I introduce them to a partner has to be the one we all think it is at the time, right, and you know, things happen, but it makes it hard because I'm trying to It's been probably two and a half years now I've been single, and when you meet women, all of this comes into account, you know, like and I won't just rush any woman into meeting my kids.

Listening women just quickly, I want to go back a little bit, just really quickly.

Being a single dad with girls, do you think that time, so much time with them has helped you build a much stronger bond than maybe some other dads have that are you know, still with the mom and there's that mix.

This mixed for me, like Ali, that bond is unbreakable purely because from the day she was.

Born, it's been me and huh for.

Different circumstances answers GG, I don't get as much, which is hard for dads as well, right, because it's small than I would say the stereotypical you know breakup where the mother mother has majority. You know, we always want more, but that's it's different, you know, like we I had the hard thing is I wanted to look forward to seeing me every time she sees me. So as a dad, when you've got her, I don't want to I spoil her. But how much do you spoil them that they don't benefit the right way?

You know what I'm saying.

I've got Thursdays.

Other days it's called Daddy doing night and and we have like swimming in the morning, and it's you know, it's it's the one day where Laura is working, my wife, and so she's me and the girls and and it's this hard balance of I want it to be a really memorable, enjoyable experience, and so you want to give them things that they enjoy. But at the same time, it's also hard when some it's just a bad day.

You sometimes heartbreaking because you got you've only got a short period of time, like a couple of days with us in a week, and if it's not a good time, you're disappointed and it's sad because you've got to drop her back on a bad note. Yeah, it just hasn't gone a plan and you don't have that every day time to be with her for her, you know. So it is hard for dads like that, and it just doesn't always care to.

Plan, right, Yeah, especially as they probably get older as well and then they're into their own things or they might. I mean with my daughter, she's so young that like if we have a tip, you know, we can get over pretty quick, you know. Then that but as they get as she gets older and more stubborn and resilient herself and can be like, well, I'm going to hold this grudge against you now because that's not fair what you did.

Whatever it might be, it must be really hard.

I can't imagine that drop off at the end of your time and you haven't been able to mend that bridge, and then you've got to wait all that this time to.

Try and try and have that moment and it's your own daughter, you know.

Yeah, it's hard to take you as you go back again to all you ever think of is as someone as a kid or just growing up, is having that perfect family right where you've got your kids and you know, I was brought up in well it didn't end up being a perfect family, but it was from my childhood. And then you get to a point where it's just not yeah, and you've got to deal with it. But that's like, you know, we've all got we've all got ways of dealing with different things and things we've got

Yeah.

I see a lot of your social stories, and I can see that the time that you spend with them you really appreciate.

I see, I see.

You know, you could be out walking with them or whatever it might be, or a selfie with them, and it's like, and that's that's pretty awesome.

So commended for that for sure.

Even though I wasn't good enough to be a professional athlete yet taking time and the fact that apparently athletic men produce females and if Braith's got two girls, I've got two girls.

That's good enough.

You can pick that walk in career and he's crazy though, like so many guys athletes.

Have women, I've got a theory and it's not the shallow penetrators.

When when you girls are a lot older and they've flown the nest, what is the one thing that you would want g G and Ali to remember about the household they grew up in?

Just the I would say, just the love, the love that they had from the people closer to them. And yeah, just just to I suppose look back and think they had a great upbringing. They love their dad to death and they do anything for him, and you know, just that loyalty and that love really is that's a happiness.

Really, that's all I can ask for.

Graith, You've had such an extraordinary life.

It's had great up some tough times as loads, but it's been fucking great to talk to you.

Yeah, thank you so much for spending the time before we do go.

I did mention a story.

To you earlier, yeah, and I managed to track this down just to give the listeners.

A bit of a bit of an idea.

A friend of mine back in twenty eleven and today Women's Day competition where it was does your husband look like anyone in particular celebrity athlete? Which is a bit of both He.

Did you know about the competition at the time, but.

Probably not so.

She submitted a photo of her boyfriend at the time.

Now they married a couple of kids, and actually, I.

Have a look first before we show the poor bastard phrase far better.

Look you're preparing me for you spend some time with Josh.

I'm in the gold code, so Josh is his name, but s wilkm South tweettheads she submitted this photo to Women's Day and actually one one hundred dollars.

She's got good taste. Oh copy that, Oh com back. He's probably doing better than me at this point.

You've got a few've maybe got six or seven years on him there, but gee, you looking him there? That? Oh yeah, so they actually won that award twice in ive me two hundred bucks than you, Josh sending that to me so quickly.

I really appreciate your thanks for having me on. I've enjoyed it. Love what you guys doing it's been.

Fun than appreciate. Thank you.

I'm gonna say as Braith was a real surprise package. I grew up watching him play footy and I never expected someone like Braith who I see has been so strong, so vulnerable in a conversation.

Absolutely, and we really want to thank KAO for lining that interview up and allowing it to be possible.

And if you've.

Enjoyed that, please jump on give us a review five stars. Let us know what you think or share with someone else who might be struggling or going through a similar situation.

And if there's any other parents out there that you would like us to talk to and share their story, please hit us up either on Instagram, Facebook group or email. It's hello at Two Doting Dads dot com ash.

Let's get out of.

Here, my friends, see you later.

You've got a big drive home.

Thank you, big guy, Big guy. Let's get out of Two Doting Dads. Podcast acknowledges the traditional custodians of country throughout Australia and the connections to land, see and community.

We pay our respects to their elders past and present and extend that respect to all Aboriginal and torrestraight Onland People's Today. This episode was recorded on Gadigle Land