#86 A Weekend With 14km, 3hrs, 2 kids and 1 pram!!

Apologies, you did have something you wanted to tell me.

Yeah, it's really quickly. I know you've been wanting an update on Sue. In regards to Sue, was the old lady by the coffee shop dogg had died? I offered to pick up the new dog? Rescue Rescue said, yes, I have now found out from someone else at the cafe that Sue has the dog. Not from me, no, thanks to me, but someone else has offered to drive her.

Did they brag about it and like they beat you to it?

I was like, hey, that was my job.

So lovely. Sue is with companion again. Yes, and you haven't seen Sue yet though?

Have you not yet seen her?

You're going to snober?

Good enough for you, Sue. That's all right, that's all right, fuck you.

Very glad she's got. I'm also glad because there's nothing better than a companion.

Well said. Welcome back to two Doating Dads. I'm Matty Jay and I'm Ash and this is a podcast all about parenting. It is the good, it.

Is also the bad and the relatable.

And if you've come winning any advice, I'm just going to warn you right now in case you are new to the podcast. No advice has ever been given, nor will it ever be given in the future. Not real advice anyway, just the fake advice, just the funny stuffnetic synthetic advice.

How are you, Matthew? How are you look?

I think we're both in the same boat here, fatigued. We're fatigued. We're in recovery mode right now.

I've got two blisters on both of my big toes.

You got those blisters very quick. We are, of course talking about the city to Surf, which we completed last weekend.

Yes, just the weekend just gone. And yes I did get blisters really early on.

Yeah, we're like, well, walking towards the taxi and you're like, oh godless.

Probably got myself to blame. I think maybe it might have been my Sox shoe combination. I sort of rushed out the door of the day before and I grabbed some socks that I would usually wear with another pair of runners, and I think maybe they didn't agree. Irfe were like, what I brang two brands together that didn't agree.

I also like to keep the Puma shoes with the Puma socks.

It's definitely this is not it's not sponsored anyway, Yes, we did do the City of the Circus. Oh, and I'm going to say it, I have never been in a place with that many people. I mean, probably have your football stadiums and stuff blah blah blah, but like that many people on the same level. Yes, it was like a It was the human sea.

I think, ash. I think I don't have the official numbers here, so if I'm wrong, I apologize. Ninety thousand gee, could be wrong, could be wrong. I heard someone say ninety thousand, and I was like, that sounds out right. Only thousand people A lot of people.

A lot. It was like a sea. I've never do you know what. I also forgot that because they do play it on the news and stuff every year. I don't really watch much news, mainly because they can't handle the bad news if it's all good news on there. I have seen it before in the news, but then this in real life. I was like, oh, yeah, it's like this is the thing.

And it was like, I think, a fucking thing. And it was exciting for the kids because you came to my house for a sleepover, you brought our scars and it was nice. It was nice. The kids were excited we did almost have the whole event derail itself.

Well, before we get to the derail, we did traumatize a small child with the wildlife that is your house. Oh you've forgotten. Sorry, So Matt, as we know, Matt has a three legged Buster who's quite a big boy. And for a small child that doesn't know Buster, well, even.

Adults are scared of him. Yeah, and he barks at everyone.

He's got a really really yeah, really girthy bark, like that comes deep.

We have many people someone say he's like just like delivering a parcel. They hear Buster and they're like, yeah, yeah, they're going the other way.

And then when he's like hopping, half hop half running at you.

Yeah, it's like a monster.

Yeah, if it was like really dark, you'd be fucking petrified.

Oh yeah, this is like bouncing, billowing towards you.

So there was that at first, which I pre warned Oscar. But I didn't pre warn him until we pulled up at your house because I wouldn't have got him there.

He would have been like, Nope, we're going where there was a three legged animal that has forty kilos. It could eat you, but it won't, and it's very loud.

I said to him his three leaders. Why has he got three leagus? I said, oh, he lost he lost his other league when he was a puppy. And then he was like thinking about it and he was like where is it? And I was like, oh no, no, no, no, no, it's gone. It's long gone. So there was that and that straight away, like he didn't want to leave my side. I had to hold him the whole time. But then he sort of came good. When he was outside. Buster was in his bed and you know, busses all bark

The cat's feral. By the way, I'm off the cat. I know sometimes Laurel will post a video of me like sitting with the cat, but overall, I'm not into the cat at all. It's also very it's very swipey. It's a swipy cat, like on the bench stools.

You walk past it and just go yeah, You'll be walking past and like some chloral latch onto you jump and your.

Hair and you're like Ellie, my mom cat. But the kids are constantly like coming to me, being like the cat's come for me again.

Yeah, oh my god. But it's sort of the I've noticed that the cat's sort of become part of the background furniture of the house, like it used to be the main focus because it was so small. Now that it's grown, it's kind of like, there's the cat. Yeah, and then it will do those things for its attention, I would say, But kids all bath, everyone got ready for bed. Oscar and I were in our separate room obviously everyone else.

And he was a bit nervous, so you get that it's a new environment. And he was like I remember him saying, hey, daddy, where are you going to sleep? And You're like, you don't worry, I'm going to come.

I'm going to be right next to you. Yeah, and just a bit of wine downtime, I said, okay, I'll be right back, okay, Like well, lights were still on, like dem.

When this house is safe, don't worry, Oscar. There's nothing here that's going to hurt you. I think that's going to jump out in the middle of the night and attack you. Work. Let's just yeah, you know, to rest, put you at ease. Yes.

So after putting him at ease, going Buster's not coming upstairs. He's got three legs. He can't get upstairs. And I'm like, where's Raspberry No one said anything about Raspberry Cat anyway. So I'm down stairs and I think we were I don't know what we're doing. We're talking about something and then talking business, Yeah, the diversified portfolio. And I was like, fuck,

Matt and I talking about diversified portfollowers we're investing, so we'll be back in a second.

Yeah. I was like, look, We just got to do a little bit of a record and then just organize some stuff for tomorrow and then I'll be in bed. That was a lie. It was a plain light just to Ki, you know what. I had some toys downstairs that he brain that sort of comfort him a little bit. I was like, I'll go and get those for you, but don't worry.

That cat is gone.

I said, the cat is not coming back. The cat's not coming back, and I've just scared the shit out of it. It's not coming back. I took two steps down the cat quick, by the way, so quick. I took two steps down the stairs, and I hear this turning the cat's back, and I quickly rushed up to it. And at this point you also realized what was happening, and you were like, oh shit, ran upstairs and I'm like, the.

Cat also gets this weird second wind at round like run about seven eight o'clock. It's like someone gives it a line of cocaine. It just bounces off the wall in his room.

It was like love me, yeah, like like I'm just looking for someone to sleep.

And then if you ever watched the movie Aliens with that little like that little alien attaches to someone's face and latches on. That's pretty much my moscouas in bed, his cat wrapped around his face, claws like into the back of his sky.

He's like, I feel bad and feel sorry for because we did forget about Raspberry, that the cat would be around. We just were worried about the big bad dog. But then, yeah, it took a little bit calming down before.

He actually went sorry about that, Oscar. But yeah, so he went to sleep at Great Sleep. We all wake up early that morning because it yourself.

Me.

Laura also was joining in on the city to serve three kids three prams two prams actually sorry, I lied two.

Well, one's like two double.

And we thought the best way to get in is a Maxi taxi.

Yep, a pre books pre.

Book Maxie taxi, which has gone very mature of us, very mature, very organized. We actually, you and me were like, Laura.

Help us book a taxi because we don't know how to call.

She booked the taxi. Morning of doesn't show up. People are starting to panic.

I was skeptical, but I didn't want to add to the stress and the tension of the household.

A lot of tension that morning, a lot of tension. Anyway, we call Ubers. One rocks up for Laura, throw on her pram. Lola and Laura off in the uber. Next thing, I come back downstairs and Laura's like, who wouldn't take Lola? She's too young? And then I'm like, okay, so what are you gonna do? She goes, I want to drive up my car and a Rubers coming. Our kids are old enough to jump on you. Ba. Next thing, Laura goes, did you get the pram out of the back of the taxi, back.

Of the uber, out of the first sup? What do I was to back you up? And Laura will still not believe even though you've got a witness, She's got zero witnesses.

I will say, my witness is not the most reliable person.

Well on.

A sketchy pat wouldn't be anyone's first choice.

And we get it. We get it, all right, I'm untrustworthy. But you were in that I remember she called you and we were walking down the hallway and got down and she was full panic about it, and Lola was like, what's going on, no idea, what's going on? And then she's also on the phone to the cab company trying to book another cab and an old mate in the first spoon has taken off to the would have been no chance, no opportunity.

For you to retrieve.

Yeah, so said long story short, Matt got blamed for the loss of a pram.

We lost. We lost the prem. We lost the prem.

Before even leaving the house.

Like it's like seven fifteen right now, am, and it's already falling.

Apart, and I imagine being a fly on the wall.

Oh my god. We were yelling at each other on the street. The neighbors must have been like someone's been a tax oscar.

Was like, I was like, okay, just you be quiet. Now, we'll both be quiet. Just let this play out. I just don't want to add any fuel to the fight. I was going to be like when you were and Laura were have a little tip about whose fould it was, I was going to be like, yeah, man, why did you leave? I was like, if you did it?

Actually self restrained.

Do you know what stopped me from that? The hour which was lovely.

He was not.

I thought he doesn't need this.

So luckily we have the other prem, yeah, massive prem as well. So Laura grab that somehow she ended up in a train. I thought we'd never see her again. We did see it, we thought she did. She's like, I've ended up in Newcastle and this is your fault. Why are you at the airport?

Shut up? It was such a frazzled morning. But then we get out ourselves and we've got a pram kindly donated by g WM.

Can I just say a lot of people have been like, oh, must be nice to roll around and that is it full.

We'll get to why we did the city deserve shortly. But it was donated to us to use, not to keep, brow to borrow, I mean, although they probably want us to keep it now after the kid's trashed absolutely like a brothel. It's so bad. But we get out as all the parents listening, you unfold the pram, which is an exercise in itself. Kids get in. We realized that we haven't pumped the tires.

We pushed it round with no kids in it. Once we have two kids in it.

Flat tires, they're not run flat, they're not those European run flats. There was like a proper like racing bike and at.

This point I'm like, I can't take it. You can do it on your own.

I think I looked at you and I was like, do we have to do this? Luckily and randomly, Hyde Park on the corner has like a bike pump. It could be confused as an explosive though, a bit that, but it saved us. We're just solving problems here.

It was they don't make it easy, and then the crowd, and then the crowd, and then Marley's like, is it over yet, and I'm like, well, strap on in, kid, because we've got fourteen of the best kilometers in Sydney to conquer.

Yes. We all lined up on the start line, which was so crowded.

Like to be fair, dad, in our wave there was it was like the family walking wave. I saw a dad with twins newborns.

That's right, because we're sitting there and we're getting a photo and I think we were taking the photo and you were like twins and I was like, just grab one. Everyone crowded around, but yeah, We'll line up in the family of friends section, which this is the first time I've ever done seated the surf as I said before, and when we rolled out, I'm like, oh, these prams, I'm like, these are our people. These are people, these

Very long. Marley ended up having a sleep. Lola, who was with Laura, also had a sleep, and both of them woke up and they were like, are we still walking?

I know where are we? Losca Trooper through the whole thing.

He did so well.

It was really awesome to see how many different variations of families are on it because you've got the twins.

Then then was disco Dad.

Disco dad who had a DJ deck in a pram and his kid next to him, so he's made his kid give up his seat for DJ and it was like techno kid.

In favor of like a five foot high speaker and he was just like and he's like, Dad, can we just please turn the music down? And can I sit in there pram?

And He's like, no, no, dance but you know there was like slightly older kid, heaps of fans. I was shocked.

You had the old person trying to run through and get a PB and us prams. We're like, it's like on a highway where like the big semi trailer like road trains stick together and block people out. We'd like block in runners, not today's son.

We will slip streaming behind him. But you know, we did walk it with the family, and like I said, there was so many If you had come to me and said we're going to run the City Deserve with our family, I would have been like to work out. We were lucky enough to team up with gw AM who brought us together. They really they said, look, we've got an idea for you guys.

We want you guys to break the record. And we were like, we won't do that, but we'll bring the kids. And they're like done.

Yeah. They were like, we really want you guys as a family to show that it can be done by family. Yes, and we did it. We successfully did it. I think we got halfway. There was a billboard of.

Us oh yeah, which was that set us back about twenty minute because wouldn' start getting photos.

They were like, hey, everyone, look over here, and it was huge. I thought it was going to be like the back of a truck or like a b or like a bus stop, and it was like, look, I'm on a bus stop. We were as big as a bus.

I was like, holy, And it's weird because halfway I was getting quite tired, very fatigued. The feet were saw and nothing spurs you on like a picture of yourself that's twenty foot wide. It really does give you a boost.

It does. And that got us back. That was at the top of Heartbreak Hill, wasn't it.

Yes, Oh, which is when we needed it.

So many broken hearts up there.

And do you know what, I think it's harder to walk than it is to run. I've woken up this morning and the body is very sore. My calves are very sore. Yeah, the front of my calf.

I am sore everywhere in places I didn't think I was going to be sore. I carried Oscar on my shoulders for like three or four k's just to give him a break from the race pram in the luxury race ramp, and at that angle, he was like, there's so many people down here. I didn't even really realize. But oh yeah, today I was like, oh god, why.

Now I know how the Olympians feel.

Similar. Look, I felt very proud of myself. Once it was done, we pulled up, we crossed the finish line. There was heaped to people around. It's a great vibe. It's amazing vibe. We were ushered up to. GWM had a little spot for us. They fed us, they gave us liquid, bathed they you know, they had the kids running around and stuff, and you know, the aura was great.

It was great. So big shout out to GWe for having us be involved in this year City to Surf.

Thank you, yes, and also bringing us and our families into do its that have just been like you boys are running and where was April? Ummm? So it was going to stay home, bring.

Mazie, bring my favorite child please next year.

Next time, next time. So yes, thank you.

Can I play you just a very quick message you sure care, Just a very quick message. I've sent it to you already on your phone. This is when we're talking about Oscar getting a cap on his tooth and a kid losing their tooth. So got a message. I was worried because we don't talk about dentists favorably.

You know I feel about dentists.

I know, be nice. She's a fan of the show.

Hey guys, I'm actually just listening to your latest episode of Two Doting Dads, and I'm actually a student dentist. First of all, love how often we're talking about dentists on this rand. It's such a random topic to consistently bring up. But I just wanted to confirm for you guys that you are born with all of the chemical properties and materials and biology to create your teeth, but it takes up until about six years old for you to actually have those teeth in your jawline for them

Love the party, Love the party at the end. Love that. Well, there you go, there you go. Well, I'm glad we got to the bottom of that.

And I was nervous. She was like, I'm actually a student dentist, and I was like, oh god. She's like, I better formal complain about podcast. Does she listen to the podcast because we don't talk about dentists in the most like kindness of.

Manners between them and rural doctors.

Yeah, next thing is someone I'm a rural doctor.

Just so thank you so much, so thank you. We also have feelings. Thank you, dental student Kate. Is she fully qualified though? And can we can we trust her? Can we find her? Is her information reliable?

It does sound very precise, but there you go. I always want I thought, like newborns would do.

They have Like I said, dentists are just mouth salesmen and they do the sales part of their education.

No, early on, I thought you were going to say, like, I'm going to get a message from her like again next week, and she's like, hey, just think you know, we have a sale currently on for fillings if you were in need, and we think.

That you need a lot. Actually, Kate, I do need to see a dentist. My mouth is fucking killing me.

Wow, what's wrong?

I don't know. I think karma's come around a bike. Which part of the mouth pun calm's coming around the bike there is Honestly, my mouth aches continuously.

Yeah that's not good.

Yeah, well figure it out, Okay, okay, yolo, that's what the kids are saying short it out. I will. I planned to, but this week I cannot because we are too busy.

My friend, make sure you don't act like our forefathers, who were ill idiots. Get themselves checked. I'll get okay, good, I'm very excited for this part now, Very.

It's really perked up.

Very.

Hey, what's that ash?

It was your birthday on Sunday?

See?

Did the surf day a serf day? We didn't get to celebrate it too much because we're so busy walking. But I got this for you. Sorry that it's ripped.

That's hey. It's an upgrade from last year where you forgot Happy birthday.

I hope you enjoy it.

Thank you can open it now. You're hoping over it?

Now you open it now? For sure, it's already half open.

I love that you've wrapped it in the postal bag that it comes in. I may have it. What's this? Oh my goodness, it's a child proof I.

Just said this is something that I thought you may need.

Please be a penis pump, Please be a penis part. Is it a jelly johnah? Is it a fleshlight?

I don't know? Oh my.

Goodness, what have you got there? Mate, I have got the Fleshlight Turbo. Let's get it out. Let's give it a go. Oh my god, I ordered that online. Yeah, I hope you didn't give us the The Fleshlight Turbo looks pretty good.

Thank you, thank you.

The hard thing was ash finding the right size.

Well, I was like, do you want the mouth, do you want the vision? Do you want the a norse or there's Actually it's actually weirdly as a market for alien vaginas they were out of stock.

I would have taken the alien vagina that that's what I tried to buy. I'll take the regular human vacuum texture. I'll just read you some of the key benefits. No, what I'll do is i'll read the description. Please, I'm very excited. April's not going to be so thrilled. The Fleshlight Turbo Thrush offers you the most realistic and satisfying alternative to oral sex. Alien oral sex, uniquely signed with three points of initial, three points of insertion.

Rum the one more.

Anyway, I won't go through the whole description because we'll be here all day. It looks now it's got an outer ring and entry point and an inner ring. Just the way I like them.

It says up top the number one selling male sex toy.

It does too.

They all say that though.

They all say that, Yeah, that's great, thank you. It's very thoughtful. A see, A lot of thought has gone into this. It's probably one of the most thoughtful gifts I've ever received.

You're very welcome. We often joke about the old flesh light we do.

I'm just waiting for a dentist to jump out now. I was gonna hate that. Sorry, it's okay. I'm never gonna get to use it because you'll be like, you're this disghosting, don't use it.

She doesn't have to know, mate, she's gonna.

I'll better use it before this comes out.

Yeah, you've got like twenty four hours to use it as many times as you can.

I'll be like skinny by the time you see me next.

It drained me, like, can't get off the couch.

I believe you brought me a flesh lit. Do you know I nearly for your birthday last month, I nearly bought you a flesh light.

Well, why didn't you?

I think I've forgot hm, I can't remember why I thought about it. And then I was like, oh, I think I think just time got away.

From me, as it often often. I'm yet to use my spafoucher.

By the way, Oh yeah, the same thing. Yeah, pretty much, more or less much depends what suburb use it in. Yeah. Sure, shall we go two lives?

Yeah, tell me, I've got a quick one here. This is from Robin, and Robin says here that she took her kids to a concerts lovely. Well, that's what you think, but kids were being an absolute nightmare, little terrors, she says. So halfway through there's an intermission and Robin goes, well, that's it, the concert's over. Let's get out of here.

That if I had an award, that's right up, Ali. I love that. I've considered that with things, kids are none the wiser, They have no idea. Also, you beat the traffic like, yeah, you're out the car park first. That's genius. Very good, very good. This one from Carli I do this too, but not quite. It's slightly different. So I'll give you her lie and then I'll tell you my variation. I love it when when parents riding things,

Now it must be nice.

It isn't. It's fucking dusty in here. Anyway.

It's a hard man to please.

I am. I just want to live comfortably.

Poor Old Frank's probably like minus end of the podcast, and see how Ashes enjoying living with me, and he's like.

It's so dusty living my car. Next we have to record from my car. So we used to go near this park called rocket Ship Park, which is iconic in the area. And if we go, yeah, we're going to go down to the park. If we got two clothes and I could see there was way too many birthday parties on, I would say, oh, bummer kids, there's too many people in the park. They just can't have anymore. It's full. Or I go, they've booked it out. It's a private party.

So what do you do to you just go back home, just turn.

Around and go somewhere else. Yeah, there's other parks here, or I just go do you want to other shops and they're like yeah, gets it off pretty quick, always go oh, do you need a baby Chino?

That ah, Baby Tino trumps everything, like crack, yeah.

I think it's just the marshmallow they really want. But they can get a marshmallow with that directly asking me for a marshmallow. They can go baby Chino and I'm like yeah, okay, and they get a marshmallow and they're like.

Got him throw the little Actually got a quick one here. Morley does this quite a lot. I might try that, so, she says. In order to get me to stop sucking my thumb. When I was really young, my mom told me that if I kept on doing that, it would turn red, then purple, and then fall off. I ignored her warning and kept on doing it. One night, when I was sleeping, my mom died. My thumb red. I woke up and freaked out, but quickly regime sucking my thumb.

That is commit thee Oh my god.

Says here. My brother wouldn't stop. She had him sedated and removed his thumb that night that that part was I made that up, Okay, I gathered just in case.

I think, like, if you're going to commit into liars, are really easy because you could just be like, hey, short Sharp, that lemon's red and they're like no, it was like you must be color blonde because that's a red lemon.

Idiot.

But to actually go days and to extend to the commit to it, yeah, bravo, brother, bravo, they say, Matt, this is from Nicole. Nicole, Nicole, thank you for writing in. I appreciate it. And if you do want to write in for yourself, you can dm us at two Doting Dads' Instagram or join the Facebook group Facebook type in two Doting Dads, join the conversation. We may or may not accept you. We will accept you.

We accept everyone.

Yeah.

So for predators, yeah, we have a very strict screening process.

Yes, it's like you have a first in the last name you. So this one's from Nicole and she says, I tell my five and two year old that if they don't clean up the playroom, the cleaners will throw away whatever is left on the floor. Genius, very good, except when they're like, you got to follow through with that, She says. They think the cleaners come three times a week. They only come once before. You've got to be able

It's not you're going to follow through.

They realize, yeah, that once they get And actually my mom just said to me that, She's like, don't make threats you can't follow through with I'm like, do you know what you're talking to?

Yeah? I am scared of nothing.

I am scared of nothing.

It's always like three, come here, come here. Two. If I get to one, you're in trouble. Not once have I made up to one.

I remember once because my mom used to count up, So do your countdown family. We're a count up family, generations of count ups. My mom used to count up and I would go I remember one time I said to her, You're gonna have to count a lot higher than that, and she hit me with the wooden spoon so hard.

Fucking smarter.

Oh yeah it was, and I would have been sub ten. I was like, I don't have to count louder than that.

Whack wow.

Anyway, long long line of count hoppers.

Explains a lot. Your mum's doing it all wrong.

And I was like, I'm going to questions, but that was my question for you, a countdown or account upper. Let's go into some list of questions. Matt Rude, you like to.

Go first, I'll first first. This one came through. They wanted to be anonymous, but they just said, when you're out at a restaurant eating with the kids, is it the responsibility of the parents to clean up after the children or is it solely on the waiter or waitress to clean up when you guys leave.

If you're going to leave a tip a nice tip. It's on the waiter. I think I never tip.

Yeah, I know, very rare, unless it's like.

Sitting around here and the kids made a blatant mass and they've without you asking or leaving it to clean up, they come and they actually just cleaned up as part of the service. I think that's typical because you've saved me doing it, and you've saved me walking out, and then you're going fucking cocka. I just live his fucking shit everywhere.

Sere's someone who used to work in hospitality ash I very much believe, and I like to be that annoying person at the table who's like stacked up the plates. I've got all the cutlery in like one section. I'll make their life.

Easy, right, so you would fully clean up up.

Because I'm just some so desperate to be liked. Thank you.

That waiter must love me, love me.

I done.

I'm in the kitchen cooking with the chef. This is enough.

It's like, oh, carry it back to the dishwasher for.

You're just in there.

Look, I think I think you've got to make it so it's not if it's an absolute fucking if they're throwing food on the floor and shit like that. No, I think, actually, here we go go on. This is just come to me. I don't know how it's gonna come out. I don't know how it's gonna start. I don't know how it's going to be.

This is a place of zero judgment. You can say anything and it's fine.

I feel like if anything is dropped off the table, it is now the responsibility of the parent.

Yep.

If it's on the table, unless you're taking it with you, that's the restaurant's responsibility.

Very like that came out beautifully.

Thank you. I just looked at the floor. I looked at the table, and I thought, there's a clear There needs to.

Be a clear line.

There is a clear line that divides the tabletop to the floor. I'm gonna put that on T shirt. It's going to be quite long. If it hits the floor, it's your responsibility. That's great, that's good. Gerald's write that down. Well, what do you reckon?

Look? I agree? I agree, And if you want to be a people pleaser like me, I mean, hey, go nuts.

Lick the table clean? Is that okay?

Sir?

Seventeen?

I bring them when we go to restaurants I bring the mop with me and I believe in mopping the floor underneath the table before we leave. And I'm like, this isn't ours.

You walk in one of those vacuum cleaner backpacks. Yeah, straps, I'll be like, and.

They're like, we didn't order a clean I'm like, that's right. What is here for lunch?

Got Dyson? Matt? I have a question for you, please, And this is more someone needs your advice.

You come to the right place.

It is anonymous, but I'm assuming it's from a mum because she was saying, it's going to be my partner's first Father's Day coming up. Congratulations, congratulations, and there's going to be a lot of firsts for all dads, but this one's the most important one, I believe. Putting that on teacher too, she has asked what she should get this young father for Father's Day other than.

No other than a first light for US four thousand.

We're actually giving one away. It's slightly used.

It would be a great sponsor for the podcast.

Oh yeah, what's the actual rant flashlight? If you're watching, I'll take one question is first Father's Day? What do you get? Well, what do you get? Any data? On a Father's Day. But I think the first one is very important because it's the first time you get to celebrate that.

You have been there impregnated.

Someone that you're not a vagin. Yeah.

We get this question a lot. I often see this question floating around the Facebook group, even on Life on Cut Terrible podcast Dreadful?

Is that about circumcision?

Very good? Very good?

But actually, can I credit Laura for that joke? It's really quick? Yeah, thank you.

Very hard to buy for men, I believe, especially when you're an adult, buying for actually buying for any adult is hard because when you're of a certain age you need something, you just buy it a toy.

Yeah. Also, there's I don't know if you're saw this video getting around the internet. That was a classic man responses you don't need to get me in anything like that, but you really are, like, she better.

Get But there is one gift, one gift only actually, which I believe to be the only gift that will make any dad happy.

Let me see if I guess I keep sect to me close.

That is number two three, after the flesh gotta get this fleshlight, after the table. This is my father was going to walk down I'm going to podcast. Is this.

Put it under his shirt and back upstairs. It's a bit smaller.

My mouth water.

No.

Sorry, there is one gift ash and it just so happens. And I don't want to sound like I'm being too biased here, but this gift was created by you and me. It was it is.

It is a book. It's a book Two Doting Dads and the Quest for Free Time.

I mean, and was that question anonymous? Or did I write that in myself?

Will let her know? Well, you fooled me. You wrote it like fifty five times. It's like ask this one, this one. And as this episode is live now, so is the book?

Yeah? So it came out yesterday, Yeah, correct, Tuesday, the book was available now you can we're saying pre order before now you can get it. You can touch it, you can sniff it, you can lick it, whatever you want with the book. You can't read it as well, if that's what.

I tried to read it to Oscar Macy and because they're in it, they're like how did that happen?

There?

Before I get to the like, they're just like why are you doing this? Why am I doing that? Before it's like getting to the actual story. You didn't get hated it. No, it's a great fun read. It's not just for the kids. There's hopefully some relatability in there.

But also it's about two dads. We're trying to catch up for a drink, reminiscing about the times before they were parents.

Free time, and I think, honestly, I really think that both parents, any parent deserves some free time.

It's the most important part. Absolutely need time to yourself, to recharge from the little creatures that suck the life right out of you.

Well said, provide you.

With moments of joy, but majority of the time make life help.

But then, as we all know, when you're trying to get some free time, they fucking get sick or some shah.

There's always some disaster something. It's a never ending situation of putting out fires.

And it has quite the twist ending that you want.

Yes, oh, should we give it away?

No, we'll put.

A link in the show notes. But we would love for you guys to get behind the very first book that Ash and I have ever written. Hopefully it's the first of many. Yes, we have to sell I don't know how many we've sold.

One million. No, I don't know. I think we've sold one hundred, but we bought them all.

But it looks I'm so I'm so proud, and oh as am I and Ash and I. In addition to having like sow hips or knees, sore feet, blisters, we also have sow wrists. Not because we jack each other.

Off beat me to it. Sorry, you beat me to it. So we don't need to do that anymore.

Because we were at the warehouse this morning and we signed a number of coffee coffees.

Okay, let's get through this and get over.

We had a number of copies that went out and as I was signing like the fiftieth book, I was like, this a hurts a lot and it's not good for my RSI. But also, b it's really cool. It's great, it's great. It's it's we've been talking about this book for a long time. It's it's taken forever to like writing a book, even though it's only about ten pages. Oh, there's a lot of bloody.

Wasn't writing a book it's like three hundred pages. Wouldn't it takes you thirty years?

I'd never do it.

And also we got like four words on every page, and it's like, I don't have people do it. It makes it harder, but we it still makes us author. We now published authors. We are, yes, so can't wait to change my link all the real authors out there. Get out of here.

You don't belong here, well I do, but yeah it's available now. And for those of you who have bought the book, we hope you enjoy it.

Yes we do. On that note, Matt, yes, let's go. Let's get out of here.

If you've enjoyed this episode, we would love it if you would give us a review, subscribe a number of stars either on Apple Podcasts or on Spotify. And as Ash mentioned before, we had the Facebook group which has ballooned out to two thousand members. Bursting at the seems.

Surely that's two thousand book sales.

We're yeah, I mean, I hope. So we're going to start getting more strict on the Facebook group, soon to be as strict as immigration in the USA. So if you want to get in, now's the time. And Leavy review, I've already said that. I already said that. Yeah, yeah, I'm tired, and so I know you are. Let's get out of here. You need to enjoy your Birthday gift and We'll see you guys and next Wednesday Seem Bye.

We pay our respects to their elders past and present and extend that respect to all Aboriginal and Torrestraight Islander peoples today. This episode was recorded on Gadagal Land.