#75 Toy Troubles, Nits, and Tantrum Tips

I had a giggle. I had a little chuckle on the way here, and I'm sorry if the person it happened to does listen, which I fucking highly doubt it. What are the chances of that near my place? As a dog park on the way here? So I pulled up at the lights and it was quite busy because it was right in school time. And I look over and this guy has must have stepped in dog shit in the dog park, and he's picked his foot up to look at it. In doing so, he's lost balance.

Welcome back to two dating dads. I'm Maddie Jay and Mash. This is a podcast all about parenting. It is the good, it is the bad, and the later. And if you've come for advice, don't do it stop right now. There's plenty of other podcasts out there that have intelligent people speaking about parenting, but it is not Ash nor myself.

I'm plenty of intelligent, how dare you?

Are you?

Though?

Before we get into it, should we crack a little cold beer, a little brusky little bruce key from Stonewood. We are drinking the Pacific ow she is my friend, before you are.

I'm sorry I've taken this sip.

Early April heard that Laura had tried on the stone Wood. So she's trying to Stonewood. Look, she's not all the way converted, but I'm working on it. She did enjoy a little passion fruit tropical notes. Every other beer that she's put to her mouse she's hated, So put the right foot forward here.

Well, it's an easy drinking beer. It's approachable, it's not too scary. It's subtle.

It's like juice.

It's like it's like juice, but a refreshing, hoppy type of juice.

Yes, And the Pacific Al is the beer that puts stone and wood on the map, getting its name from the Pacific Ocean, coming from Byron Bay. It is Barron Bay in a bottle question? When did you get a beer fridge in your garage the day I was born? So cheers the stone Wood. As always, we appreciate you and allowing this episode to be possible.

So cheers, I'll do it. Cheers. Sorry for doing the premature sip. Has your eyebrow?

I do have a pimple in my eyebrow right now.

I can't see it. No, oh there it is there.

Yeah, fucking hurts up. This morning, I was like, I've been shot.

Right on the little tip of your eyebrow. At least it's hidden.

It is hidden on here. That's why I haven't shaved with another one. Under here.

You're breaking out. You're going through puberty for the second time.

I could use a bit of extra length in my penis. Also before we get into it. Obviously we had Oscars party that has been and gone.

But so Wednesday, I think mum's come Ellie, do you want to come down? Yeah, come on down, Come on down. I just going to interrupt. Oh god, okay. Ellie is currently yelling from the top of the stairs saying that she was left in the dark regarding this episode. But like you said, we record every single Wednesday. And then when you guys knocked on the door, she was like, who's that, I'm naked.

I didn't even knock.

Elle, Are you coming down?

Jesus credible? Getting yelled at what I was saying you are father of toddler's toddler now now a young child birthday of mind?

When does toddler stop?

But I think four drackon.

Okay, I still refer to Marley's being a toddler child. Okay, I just don't like the idea of them growing up.

Yes, agreed, Actually no, disagree. I can't open the group and move out anyway. When they have birthdays Christmas, you get presents from people that you think, why the fuck did you get me that? Why did you get this child that? Because they've got it intentionally to annoy you. So my parents, my mom found something at an opshop and she thought, the kids will suck him up this, but Ash will hate this because it's annoying.

This is something that would be he got for his birthday. Like I'm thinking about the microphone, the carry out, Yeah.

Remember the carry out similar thing also still in the garage, hasn't been opened. That genius.

Get rid of that right now.

I was going to keep it because I thought, maybe just two mikes, maybe one day we could do something funny with it.

Stuff the kids for us, it's not for them.

But my parents bought Oscar something annoying. For his birthday, and I'm going to show you really quick. Great. First of all, I'm going to show you that I want you to guess what it is, Jesus Christ.

That looks like it could kill me.

Okay, it looks like a bit of a megaphone.

That looks it looks like something you'd see in Men in Black. Yeah, it does look like a man in black gun.

So I'm going to pull the trigger and give you an idea of what this is. Let's say I'll do it into the mind.

That is fucking amazing. It's a fart gun. Now are these self recorded or are they like preloaded?

Imagine the guy's job it is to preload that. He's like, hey, my god, one, let me record this one. Into the gun. So it's a fart gun.

It's like an art deco design.

Looks like it's to make it obnoxious.

Look at like the little fart chamber at the top.

It gets worse. Okay, that one. That's what they got, Oscar. Can I just give it a quick of course, pull the trigger, pull my finger. They should have made the trigger a finger, and you pull it.

Brilliant, brilliant. You're in the wrong, wrong profession.

If that toy company is listening. It's so like annoying because kids are so trigger happy. I've broken it, I'll be broken it. There's not enough switch, you might it's working. It was from an op shop.

What's the RP on this? How much you pay? I think she paid two bucks shown out to think we're toys who have made this.

So there's this one. But as you know, Oscar is the eldest of my children and I have a younger child. I don't know Macy And you think, oh, they'll just share it. No, there's a mini version.

That is incredible, So that's going to be one of the best fines from an op shop.

Surely this one is actually not that one was, but this one was found after that one was found, and they thought it'd be way funnier. Two give that and then go how annoying is this? But also how annoying is it that your little sister now has one too.

You know what's funny is that they're not the same brand.

No, well, this one's like this, this is vintage.

That's vintage Old Man Father, and that's that's more progressive. That one's made in China. The Vietnamese fart gun sounds slightly different, and it's got an accent well, and they're very different cuisines.

This is honey chicken, this is noodles. That's a Vermicelli salad.

Very good.

That's what I'm dealing with now, guys. So just a little tip for those who are buying presents for children, don't get anything annoying.

Farts are always a great shout. Fat. I have turned into you once again. Ash. It's funny how the world works. It's flipped, it's flipped.

I'm an impressionable young man.

Who would have thought when we started this podcast we've been in a position twelve months later where you're the one throwing the birthday parties and I'm the one that's decided that I've had enough of birthday parties.

Oh yes, because it is Marley's birthday today, Marley's birthday.

As we record this Happy birthday to my beloved child.

I noticed that you sent a straight off Kindy center of the kindy birthdays.

We gave her a happy birthday badge.

Happy birthday, does your kindya allow cake? Oh no?

Which is great though, which is great So because of there's like a couple of kids with dietary allergies. They make the birthday cake there and it's great because they can't get the hair. The kids will do it together, so they do like a.

Make it out of play thom.

Yeah, they like eat this. But it's perfect because it means that you don't have to go out and you know, get twenty thousand cupcakes. Yeah, we drop it off as well.

Well, we just do the ones from like Woolies and Tiny.

Very good idea, but I think it's great. I love the fact that we don't have to give the birthday cake slash cupcakes to the kids. Marla's excited, except we were like, man, we've done a big birthday party every single year for Marley.

Big mistake.

You know what they're like, you know, as someone to just come off the back end of a birthday party, they're a fucking nightmare. Also really expensive, like when you're like when you're add.

It all, we managed to get away with it pretty cheap.

Well, everyone I saw you at your birthday party. You were get more dinosaur nuggets and chips and drinks.

Oh yeah, that's at me broke dinosauggets.

And I'm just going to stop for a second because my beloved Ellie is now walking down the stairs. It was looking fantastic. Wow, look at her hair. Give me the finger, settle down, Oh, relaxed.

If it wasn't for the membership card, I be broke. Yeah.

But we decided we're going to do something just just the found family.

I'm fine with that. That's what I tried to tell people when I got shamed for it. But people like you got and child of its birthday.

The outrage. People came at you with pitchforks and like burning sticks.

Of my house.

We'll drag him outside and we'll hang him up by his.

Neck, make an example of him.

So we decided that this is the year we'll do something very quiet, nice in the backyard. Nice, just the cousins. Nice. And it's good news for you because you don't have to drive out an hour on the weekend.

I'll be here, give m something to do.

But we had an early birthday press birthday present, birthday present for the kids.

Kids, kids, there's one. It's one kid's birthday. A are you combining them?

I would It was actually a birthday gift for the whole family. Ash, I I don't know how to tell you. I don't want to freak you out. I don't panic. It's not a big deal, isn't it. Everyone goes through this. We're just going to come out and say, Okay, come out and say it. Don't freak out.

I was pregnant.

We have knits. It's happened. We've been taken down.

Why am I scratching my head? My god? Why did you drag me into this house with nips in it?

Because the podcast was.

Just laying down over there on the on the thing and it's funny close over there, kids closed, I just what's the now?

Apparently they don't survive outside of the scalp for more than like four hours.

Apparently, Okay, what time did the kids go to? Kindy?

We got one more hour and they're still kicking.

Oh my god.

So my sister putting this on. My sister, her kids have nets, Kate, and we said I never had knits as a child, never, not once. I'm pretty sure because my hair is really thin, and unfortunately my two girls have really thin hair. Also, Laura, we're a family of thin haired people.

That's not good for you in the future.

Not good for me in the future, great for us now because it means the knits like the thick hair.

Yeah. And the thing is with thin hair too, it's easy to get them out, easy to find them on the scale. Yeah, Unfortunately, I'm a house full of thick haired people.

Have you had knits before? Oh?

Yeah, when I was a kid, I had them a few times because I had a mop of hair, and you know how thick my hair. If you ran your fingers to the back of in.

My mind, I would fucking love to do that.

You wouldn't be able to get them out so thick. And my mom's like that, Dad baled, that doesn't make a care. My sisters well, quite thick hit.

Macy, she's she's a thick haired child.

She has her thick hair. Osco maybe not so much.

But have they had the girls? Sorry the girls? Oscar as a boy has Oscar and Macy? Have they either one had nits? Not yet? Na. Man, it's a fucking nightmare.

Oh I know, mate, I remember as a kid, my mom was like, what the fuck? And it's probably more prevalent, you think, in primary schools than with kidney. You get the alert like there's headlines going around. You just don't send them the next day, let them fumicate or whatever they do.

But we said to my sister after she warned us, because we're hanging out all weekend. She goes, my kids have nits.

Just after you got a pre worn probably pre.

Warn I wasn't listening, and we were like, look, we don't get nits. We're not a knit kind of family. Appreciate the concern, but it's not me. I love the cock in it.

We don't get it around here for poor people.

Next day, I had a little look in Marley's hair and I was like, holy shit. They were running everywhere in this house, and we like all weekend, we've done multiple You know, you do have to put this oil in first, Let the oil sit for ten minutes and the kids are like getting oil everywhere, like handprints all over the furniture. Have a solution, and then you've got to go through the comb. If the comb hurts, dude, I did. I had to do it as well.

Is it the electric comb? We've seen those. It's an electric will go through and just kills them on the spot as you're going through the hair instead of you having to dig it out. It's like it might be dangerous. It's like the flag zappas, but you know I love killing insects. I didn't know I have a look into that. I had the old school.

Laura was doing my hair and I've got some footage that I'll put in there. It fucking hurt.

It's so thin.

Oh dude, it just like this a solution, like I need to hold onto as much as I can.

Shave their heads. Message you imagine.

But okay, the big the big problem was, dude, you know.

Put the bold filter on them on the and be like would this be okay? For a couple of weeks.

We we didn't want to not send them to daycare because because just before people come at me and start attacking me. This is on Saturday, and then Sunday we'd like done like three or four treatments. The kids were fine, kids were good, right, so they were good to go to daycare on Monday. Anyway, as we're walking in a daycare, I'm dropping them off, and then Marley and Laula are like, hey, everyone, we had nets on the weekend, and I'm like shit, and I'm like no, no, no, it's fine, no more nets.

Just to show it, guys, I'm like, shut up, shut up.

Shut up, shut up. So okay, I'm going to say that we're knit free at the moment.

I'll be the judge of that. But if I'm itching on the car in the car on the way home, you my friend, I just want to trouble.

I want to warn people out there there. If you do think that you are not at risk of knits, just be careful because the moment you relax, the moment you stop worrying about them, that's when they attacked, and they will fucking take you down.

No one's safe and Maddie Jay's message Maddie Jay's messages. Rich people can get this too. It's not just football, but.

It's don't discriminate.

They do not discriminate.

I will take anyone down, regardless of your income.

So knit free at the moment, which is good to hear. I am presuming that we may have some knit conversations in the near future, because as they get older, they bump heads together and all th all sorts of things, and as their hair gets longer too, like with girls, their hair gets longer all the time, and then they Macie pulls her hair out of the thing's s I'm not looking forward to that. I forgot about knits, so just now sorry, but I did have them a lot as a kid.

I apologize U.

Matt Oscar has a new friend, and I want to tell you about this new friend that's really sweet and how new friendships start, they bloom, they blossom. This friendship is with Siri.

Kids kids love Siri, so.

It's I quite often catch him asking Siri how she slept or how she's feeling today. I've got some I've got some footage that I want to show you. We'll put this in for socials. Everybody did have a nice morning?

I love how he asks the second time, and he's a bit like answering I said, did you have a nice morning?

I know, and he sometimes at night he's like, good night, Siri. I keep missing getting footage, but April's got some more footage. But this is what I've got so far of him saying did you have a nice sleep? Or sometimes he gets frustrated because, like you said, Sirih sometimes doesn't answer bad. But like all good friendships, there's there's troubles. They have tips, they have misunderstanding, peaks and troughs. Peaks and troughs. So, like I said, I get all friendships. It's this is

Gone through a rocky patch.

Of Oscar and Siri having it go through a little bit of a rocky patch. Show why you're not listening to me, Mike. So I was gonna get very frustrated when Siri doesn't listen to him or searches for the wrong thing.

Siries sometimes a bit stupid.

Yeah, let's be honest, but let's I wanted to bring this friendship to light and then I'm just gonna give you some updates to how it progresses over the next couple of weeks because I feel like the friendship's really blossoming.

Does he understand But obviously the concept of Siri is a bit much for a young child. Does he understand that series not personally? Oyay?

Cool?

So I'm going to keep like that my Siri is a man's voice.

You can change it. Yeah, that's the thing. Yeah.

But when I'm in the car and I'm like, hey, sirih cool mom and I will be boy.

Call mom all right.

You can call me daddy though, and Marley's like, who's that. I'm like, it's just Daddy's friend. She loves it. She loves it. When I talked to Siri, but they also like on the on the iPad, dude, they are when it when it does work out and Siri responds in the right way, the joy on their face. Yeah, it's like they, you know, crack the code. What are you going to say when when Oscar starts requesting, like can I meet Siri there?

That'll be fun because what we'll do is we'll find someone and we'll just say this is Siri. I think we should do that, introduce him to a fake Siri. Yeah, I think we should definitely give that a go. Love that at some point, but also just on phones and like kids being like, who's that? I did send you something yesterday last night that was quite rude. It started off as a news bulletin, do you recall?

Yeah?

Anyway, so someone got me with that.

But because we're not going to put this on socials because it'll get us banned, it's one of those things which men send each other where it's like I'll open this up and it's just someone going.

Ahh like making that noise and I got done with it yesterday.

Was the smile on your face as you're telling this story.

But trying to explain it to the kids because they heard it from upstairs. They're like, what's that? And I was just like, oh, it was just someone sent Daddy something. I accidentally had it on too. It hurt my ears too, because I was so lady.

It was just for people who want to get an insight into the type of content that Ash sends me. It was a fake news bulletin, which then midway through it transitioned to a big penis. I'd like, enormous penis taken from porno. And luckily I was in a place where it was only me. I wasn't at the cafe in front of other people. And your reaction right now is exactly how I thought. You react, just so proud of yourself.

People got it. I hadn't made It was like I was literally laying your bed next to next to my wife, and I was like, because because it starts off so low in volume, He's like, I had to turn it right out.

Very clever, very very Hey. Before we get into petty couples, I just want to get a quick update on Macy, how she's going health wise. I know you've been dealing with a sick.

But yeah, she's chesty.

I feel like everyone's chesty. Right now.

She's like really bad, like when I got home yesterday, like.

Love, and I was like, brothers, has she been snotty as well?

Or just coffee? And that's the thing too. She came she gave me a kiss last night before she went to bed.

And You're like, oh salty and.

No, no no, and she must have have had snort and gone like that.

She wiped it over her cheek and she's like.

Going half kissed me with the cheek and going like that, and I was like, why the fuck is my face so wet?

Not?

What do your kids do?

Like?

Can your kids do they know how to blow their nose yet?

Yeah?

Because mine don't. They like, what do you mean they like the concept of blowing the nose?

Do?

They go? So both Marley and Lola, in addition to the nets, which fine they are, they're both really snotty, like chesty as well. And I can hear I can hear the like this because there's got so much stock build up, and I'm like, you got to blow your nose, so put the tissue of the nose and they just go no, no, no, no, no, no no no, do that, but three nose And then they're like I'm they can't work it out, dude. I'm like trying to.

Their ears pop. I think that is what that makes them feel like they're blowing out there is.

It's like poor Marley, dude, she's so snotty and what she does right now is oh, man, do that and then swallows it and she does it all day dude. Last night when she went to bed, as she lay down and went to sleep, it was horizontal. All that phleme was built up. There was so much of it. She vomited just this like insane like mukissy patch was unbelievable, and then she was like, oh that's better, no.

Shit, and all of a sudden, I'm hungry.

I'm like, just learn how to blow your nose or I'm like, when you like, do you do the like?

Do you do the snot ccer? You've used the snot socer?

Yeah, I've seen it. I've seen it, but it's never.

We've used it. Pretty It's actually it's pretty good. I used it.

Do you have how does it work again?

Like that? But sorry, how does it work again?

Because you don't want to you have to put one thing up one of the nostrils of the kid and then do you say it's an electric one? You when you're electric? Fucking nick hone, you're electric. You're welcome to the future.

You are welcome. Yeah, and start trek, welcome to the future.

What kind of do you have?

It's a nuclear do you think it is? It's made from nuclear energy? Emily Cross out there, you kill it? It's electric? No one, it's a pull start, but the electric one go. It's it's just pressed about like electric toothbrush. But it sucks into like a I'll get it, I'll bring it in. I'll show you.

Poor kids. Kids are worried that's going to suck out their brains.

Yeah, that's probably it's actually manufactured by Dyson. Uh No, it's not. That's about Jake. Anyway. It says sucker and it's got all these different attachments.

Thank you for clarifying.

And it goes to that people know what I'm talking about. But good. Also, another thing you can do is you can turn like get them in the steam. Do you have a like a uky Bear steamer?

We had one, we had electric.

I'm not sure if you know what electricity is.

We don't have a uky Bear steamer, but.

They're good that'll really loosen up the flame. Jesus, I'm an expert.

You are an expert on the flame.

I've got signal problems a lot. I have done my whole life. Same with my sister. She's really bad. My sisters are the sort of person who is alerted to everything. Dust might that's about it anyway. Anyway, let's love about me.

Let's get into petty Okay, petty couple.

Welcome down the street, petty couple.

They can I like me couple. I love you, but in the.

Tune, no one can push me quite like you. All Right, I'll go first because I demand stage.

Can I just say people have requested that we do a song, like a fully fledged song.

Yeah, I know that. Sorry pal, Sorry, I've been suggesting it for ages.

Come in with a good news would be coming in.

Let's do it. Let's riff, give me give me a beat anyway? Sorry, so fucking around, I'm tiny, run out.

Of time, Stop having fun?

I stop it, I refuse.

This is this is something's happened. Did you have sex last night?

No, I got a shot yesterday. Oh yeah, fucking flatter

No?

you are off your face. I'm going to get one. Everything we should invest in it that I get one every week for the good of the podcast. For people who don't know, Ash had had an immunity boost yesterday IV infusion.

With mercury magnesium. You know what mercury? Definitely don't you a deep sea fish that we know of.

Let me know. My brain is working overtime today.

Petty couples ship, Will we ever get there? Probably not?

No, Crystal, we don't give a fuck based story. Sorry, sorry, this is from Crystal. Crystal. Crystal Ball is her Crystal Ball? Okay, sorry, Garry, that's not her real name. Everyone settled down?

Did everyone just relax?

Feeling a lot of pressure? All right, calm down? Would you? Okay, you go first? Now I get through it. Okay, this is from Crystal. Mm hmmm. Partner and I were at a barbecue. My husband clocked off from dad duties as always. Later, when our toddler poop, I asked him to get nappy and wipes from the car. Then I hid in the toilet so when he got back he had no choice

Good, good, good, very good. Also, that guy needs to fucking step up.

Yeah, you're right, you don't clock off from dad duties.

Of all the tasks of toddlers changing the nappy, I think it's the easiest.

It's the stinkiest.

I don't mind that. Before I get into this one, I have done something. It's very it's very low on the petty scale, like it's barely enough to make a mention. But I mentioned it anyway. Laura wants cups of tea at nighttime. I make a cup of tea. Laura goes, are you making a cup of tea? I'll love a cup of tea, and it'd be fine, But Laura fucking wants honey in it. And it's just, you know, you

That's what she.

And so now I fucking don't make.

It with honey, and she doesn't know.

She never and also she never fucking drinks it because she's always like, oh, that's a bit hot. I'll let it call down for a second and then never goes back to it. And then when as I go to bed and I'm cleaning up the fucking kitchen bench, I find a cup cup of tea, So now I don't put the honey in it. God, I'm a badass.

I'm so glad I got that anyway. But here we got next.

That's petty.

That's that's pretty petty. That's pretty just ga vid memories shaking.

As I give her a tea, I'm like, here you go. This one is from Anonymous, must be juice Anonymous Anonymous. When my partner showers, he likes to clear out his nose and we end up with not on the walls and showers screen that he doesn't even bother to wash off Afterwards's he doing it? Teach Morley how to do that?

Get him over.

Once? Oh?

I can't say, though, clearing those out in the shower a.

Magic.

That one that one minute where you've got an empty nose in your laugh it's this air feels like it goes through steam. I love that steam steam machine.

Once dried, it's not easy to remove. And I've asked him to be mindful of this, but he doesn't listen. Fuck, that's annoying. I am the one who has to deal with it. She does all the household cleaning.

I don't want to know what she's done. I really do. I really want to know what she's done to get back at him for this.

We'll keep going. So when she does a shower and she sees the snot on the walls or shower screen, oh, I clean it off with his toothbrush.

Oo, oh my god.

His toothbrush is not there. I use his body scrubber.

Oh oh man, oh my god.

If I was here, I just take a ship in the shower.

Just try and stamp on the drain.

Yeah, just leave it there and be liked, dude, I'll get rid of the ship once he stopped putting his snot everywhere.

No, because that could really backfive with her, because he could just be like, well, I'm gonna start shopping there too, and then I don't really mind.

But also like, how hard is it to do your bushman's blow in the shower and then like wash it down? They're like, what the what's he doing?

How wide are his nostrils that they're splattering on the walls. That's usually it's like a straight down what's what is? I don't know how he's doing it.

That's yeah, i'd get that checked out.

I would definitely what Once again, we are not medical physicians, but you should get that checked out.

Definitely have that look that's.

Disgusting and look honestly, he probably doesn't even know that it.

Don't try. Yeah, I was going to say that.

I was like that, does I have? I have tried to clean a dried up booger on a wall in a shower, very hard. It gets like concrete. Maybe they should start making the roads out of it. There is potholes. There's an idea. This guy I want to think. Now get him into.

Let's drag out Ellie. Oh wait before we do that. Before we do that, have you.

Got the key?

You know? I didn't lock it unfortunately, should get one of those with the code, Elle Darling, Ellie, thank you for jumping on the podcast. Before we start, as I want to let you know that Mum is currently dealing with issues with the cat.

Cat the bathroom to do a WII and the cat. Right there, I did accidentally on the cat. I'm sorry.

That's so fine. It's nice to what Ellie's doing in the cat at the moment, because the cat did to be gold ship in mum's bedroom.

In the bedroom cats ship stink.

Oh it really.

Did thought that stinky cat food would come out smelling worse.

Yeah, yeah, by thank you for jumping on the podcast, and thank you for doing the story the other day. Took us about an hour to do the Ask Ellie questions.

You're professional.

It's a good thing. You're better at podcasting than you are doing Instagram stories. Lots of questions, lots of not deer in headlights. Everyone wants to hear from Ellie. For our new little segment calling it Ask Kelly.

We need a theme song for us.

We did have a question that ash. I'll put this one on you. I prefer to ask Kelly Ellie like ask Nana.

I just thought it gave it some authority as.

We'll let it marinate. We may change it for next week, but for now it's called Ask Kelly. And the very first question is.

This is from Lucy. Okay, we should get some of the who wants tense?

Hi Lucy, Yes.

She wants to know do you raise boys and girls differently? Would you have you wow?

Okay, okay, I think we all know, whether you want to acknowledge it or not, but boys and girls are different?

Are you serious? Yeah?

They have different body pards. Do you not know.

That boys are a nightmare as kids? Awful?

Awful?

I've seen your kid like he's trying.

To dress him.

It is a generalization, yes, but okay, looking at our family.

We're a family of four boys and one girl.

Ye, so all Kate ever wanted was a Barbie doll and all you boys ever wanted was a gun, and none of you got.

Of, say, a toy gun. Elie.

But no, the first time, the first time the boys, the boys had lamb chops. They ate the meat. And then the next thing was they were using the chop the bone as a gun.

To shake each other.

And I thought was in prison.

I was obsessed with Rambo.

Yes, yeah, no, I think, I think. I think the main thing to remember is, yes, they are all different. I tried to bring you guys up all the same. I think the thing to remember is just to embrace the differences. Don't be afraid that they are different. Just go along with whatever they're comfortable in doing. I mean, I tried to introduce the same things. You even did ballet. Remember doing ballet with Cakes?

I thought I would be ars.

No, you didn't like it. Kate wanted to do ballet, and I thought, well, the boys.

Can do it, so yeah, well I have a boy and a girl, so they definitely You must see difference. I do now.

Yeah.

Starting off, I kind of thought what worked for Oscar is going to work for Macy. But that's not true.

I think people who say you can treat them all exactly the same have not had children and have not had mixed sex families. Because they are different doesn't mean that anybody's better or worse. Kate was very much the organizer a very early age, and that's typical of girls. They do develop earlier than boys.

Is much more organized.

Yeah, what about when it comes to discipline, exactly the same.

One of them harder than the boys.

Were very compliant when they were younger, Going clean your room, They would go and clean the room. Kate, go clean your room?

Neck you yeah, yeah, yeah, Okay, it's definitely different. I mean with Oscar it was kind of like, it's weird because I sort of see Macy as like she's too sweet to get angry.

With o that's very dangerous girl.

Yeah, the same. Also, lately she's just getting cheek here and cheek here, and I've found myself getting frustrated. But it takes much more for me to get frustrated with her than it does with him.

I tend to think boys generally respond to do it, do it now? Please?

Yeah?

With girls, you say, would you rather clean your room now? Or would you rather do be and then clean your room? If you give them the choice?

Very true. I find myself giving Macy choices and Oscar demands. Yea interesting difference. Yeah, But I subconsciously do that, like it's just a action because I know if I say to Macey, do this, she's like no.

But do you think your expectations are high? With Oscar because he's older, there's probably.

A little bit of that too.

But they also say that we give information to girls. We give a lot more verbal instruction with always it stop, don't do that, go over there, whereas girls we explain things more.

If I say to either you eat this sandwich or eat this, She'll be like, she'll make a decision.

Yeah.

With Oscar, if I'm like eat it okay.

Question number two okay is early question number two comes in Lola, Lola, only assume it's not my log. Yeah, it could be actually got my funds. My password could be her, but she wants to know. Do you have any tips for diffusing toddler tantrums?

Hmmm, well, child psychologists will tell you that you can break tantrums down into three three categories. You've got emotional tantrums, so that separation, anxiety, and you've got situational tantrums where they don't want to get in the car to go and see Nana. And then they've got what they call mock tantrums. Some people might say they're all mock.

Does that mean all right?

It just means that they are putting. I mean, I'm not trivializing how the kid is feeling. But a mock tantrum is something they do to manipulate the situation.

You know, So as when you see, like it's a video of a child having a massive meltdown, child is losing it. They want something and in the second they get the toy, the tantrum.

PSTO a really good video of Macey having an absolute meltdown, and I was like, do you want an ice bocke?

Yeah? Do you know what. That is a distraction, And I actually and a distract. We all know about distracting kids, but I actually tried this with one of my grandchildren just the other day.

Name and shame. Who was it?

No, Lola?

You know. Anyway, she was in the throes of this tantrum. I think she'd even forgotten what she wanted. And I don't know whether you remember you were there, and I just said to Lola, I picked up this orange cushion and I said, you know what, I just love this blue cushion. It's the most beautiful blue. You remember.

She said, no, it's not. It's fucking pink.

She said, no, Nana, that's orange. I said, is it? I thought it was a lovely blue color. Well what about this green one? Which was red? And it completely distracted her, didn't it.

Yeah, so you've confused the child out of it.

Yeah, and she probably thinks she's a daycon.

And now I've been like, I just thought I had the colors figured out.

To me.

Sometimes it works. That time it worked well. I was trying to brush her teeth and she was having meltdown and Nana came in and said, and Laura's losing it in the bath and then Nana came in and said, is that a bird outside I can see? And Lola was like, shut up, now, I think I can see a parrot outside.

Work, but distraction, distraction, and I think if you give them a question, yeah, she probably she probably is thinking that or doesn't know her colors yet. Yeah. But look, it's hard because quite often kids are just tired. It's the wrong time, big day, they don't want a bathroom.

I'm tired.

Yeah, you're tired. Yeah, yeah, you're you're right at the end of your patients. Yeah. And they often happen around about you know, rush hour, distraction, confusion. Oh, you know what, honestly, honestly, just ignore. I know that's hard. I know I know that. I know that's that is. But you can just talk to them normally because they are if it's a mock tantrum, they are expecting a response, and if they're not getting

It's pretty complex.

It is, it is, and it is hard.

It's hard. It's easy now in this situation where there's not a child in sight to say what to do, but when you think of it and you do screaming child, Yeah, three four children are screaming.

But it worked pretty well. When you were in the shopping island, you were screaming because you wanted a crunchy bar and I said.

No and Mum would just go. I'm leaving him there.

He was left him just the other day.

That's what we have time for. If you would like any questions for ask Ellie or ask Nana, let us know what you think. Send it through either dm us at two Doting Dads on Instagram, or you can email us at Hello at two Doting Dads dot com or ash. There's one more place you can go and throw questions at us.

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You can go to Facebook and type in two Doting day has joined the conversation there. We have banned Ellie from that page and I.

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And can I just say I tried that Stonewood beer. It is a beautiful beer.

Very good, very good.

No, no, it really is a nice beer or.

Something we haven't spoken about you.

It's a lovely drop and there's a lovely drop. Wrong. We have to get out of here. You have to do some washing for us.

Actually I bring my washing as well. It's okay.

We'll see you guys next week. Bye bye. Two Doting Dance Podcast acknowledges the traditional custodians of country throughout Australia and the connections to land, sea and community.

We pay our respects to their elders past and present and extend that respect to all Aboriginal and Torrestrate Islander peoples today. This episode was recorded on Gadagal Land