Welcome to a bonus episode today, very special one for Matt Na.
He is a friend of ours, friend of the show. He's a girl dad Matt, so right up here, Ali.
He's also a co host on a very popular sports podcast called Hello Sports.
It is the home of unqualified opinion and unwavering Bias, a celebration of great Australian pastime that is talking about sport. Big fan of podcast Hello Sport. I absolutely love it. Big found of his work. We met Tom over in Vegas. We were there recently. I'm sure people are fed up of us talking about Vegas, but we were there and I thought we need to get him on.
And he's a very very funny man. Which fun fact, his dad, Billy Okay Billy, is also known as the twelfth the twelfth Man, so dating back to the eighties there was a few albums released by a very funny man making and poking a lot of fun at Australian cricket commentation.
I wish my mum was here because my absolutely loses her ship over the twelfth Man. If she had met Tom, he wouldn't have met it out here in one piece.
She's a man.
She would have absolutely had away with him. So yeah, it's a great chat and he's absolutely hilarious and just towards the end, don't mind the fact that we get interrupted with the Nursey comes in and gives us ivy drips.
Yeah, we start s learning a bit. We're tired.
That was to purpose back up, So enjoy.
Welcome back to three doting dads. I'm Mattie, Jay Match, and I'm Tom. Now normally we don't give advice. Today Tom may be different. Will you have advice to give?
No pressure, no pressure on the advice.
I may give advice, depends how the conversation goes. I also am like I hate getting given advice, well by certain people. It depends who like you get advice from.
This may be surprised to some people because you don't look like a man who's grown up in Bathist.
I didn't grub on Batist. There we go, There we go.
That makes a lot of sense. You went to Union. I went to Union.
Bathst's too handsome for battle, Thank you so much. No, I went to Union Bathtist. I grew up in barrel.
Same thing.
No, it's absolutely no disrespect to Bathists.
Start with a bee.
That's true.
They're eating caviar and lobster every morning.
They are now they weren't.
Yeah, No Barrel was lovely. It's changed a bit now it's like full wedding destination. Southern Highlands. You know it's almost called Southern high you know, no one but sounds to be like Barrel.
Yeah, Southern go out in the Highlands, South Wales, Southern Isghlands.
Yes, but No Barrel was mad. I really enjoyed growing up there. Left there when I was like fifteen or sixteen, but batist Uni, which was a really nice way to delay adult life. What should have been three years turned out to be about five or six.
I've only ever been out there once and it was bloody good night.
What were you there for?
Never your mind?
I was there for a good night, right, and I look forgive me if we're wrong, but your dad, yes, the twelfth Man correct, and obviously you live with that in Barrel. For those who don't know who the twelfth Man is, it's a bit of a cricket parody on the reserve of a cricket team. But it was brought out.
It was three no dude, he started in the eighties.
Holy shit, right, like it was kind of cultish, how like, yeah, everyony like cricket, like the twelfth Man.
He was Basically he took the piss out of the commentary team for like Austrain cricket and then it's sort of then like changed into like other sporting figures and like so again it like he did one, he did like five or six albums. I don't know, back when it was like Wow, c d's and ship. But so he took the piss out of the country team. I think it was sort of like a funny angle, like when you're hearing like Richie Benno say fuck after you know, like that was sort of naughty. Yeah, so naughty not
to reduce his things to just swear with. But so yeah, he was. He was very clever, yeah, made he was good. He was like sometimes I don't it was normal for me growing up, you know what I mean, like because it was just all I ever knew. But now I'm a bit older, so I'm a lot older, actually thirty five, but now I sort of appreciate it even more. Like he he one year at the R's got the highest selling album of the year. Holy shit, Kylie.
You know what I mean.
Like, so he was way bigger than I actually really ever.
Yeah, but did people did he have that notariety because it was CDs, right, people didn't necessarily put the face to the name.
Yeah, he was, well, he wasn't like he definitely wasn't like Kylie, but certainly like he got recognized.
It wasn't like dance moves like he can move.
The man can move. Yeah, he wasn't. He definitely had like he was. Definitely he would get noticed in the street, but it wasn't crazy. But it was just sort of you know, like yell at someone yelling across the street or something.
What about playing sport as a youngster, would he get recognized on the field.
Yeah, yeah, for sure, that was probably where it happened more. But again it was like you'd see you'd see like people's dads start to act like weird. You know. That was where it was more funny because you're like that. My kids were like didn't know it, like we didn't know anything. They were just like my mates. They knew that dad was famous, but that was like sort of it. I guess we sort of listened to it. It was
a bit naughty, like you could get away. Yeah yeah, yeah, but you'd see like Dad's like, you know what's going on here? Where that guy got a direction.
To your house to pick up and made he's been hanging over And they'd always like come inside the house.
Yeah, yeah, there's a bit of that stuff. But again, like it was all it was all pretty cool, Like dad was always he's always been good with it. So it's not like he's like a shy guy actually.
And it was he like was he like a really funny dad to have?
Yeah, yeah, he's funny, and like he's not like like when you get him to laugh, it's like satisfact, not because he's not. He's not like he's not like I'm not gonna laugh at anything you say. But you're just like he's got a very respect his sense of humor. So like if you get him, you're like fuck yeah, but no, he's very funny.
He still is.
And do you recall what his parenting style was like back when you're a young fellow.
It was hands off. He was pretty chill, like you know he again like now I'm older, I can see that it was like.
A strange lifestyle because he just didn't.
Work likeuse in he worked, but he would do like an album every five years, and then in between he just sort of do whatever he wanted and like just sort of hang out. So like he you know, he was like hands on in sort of like footy, like you know, we're playing sport and all that sort of stuff.
But other than that, he wasn't. He wasn't. And also I don't know whether you know, sometimes you think, like when you're maybe doing someone's apparent, You're like, wait a minute, am I doing this because it's like been ingrained in me by my parents? Or is it just like my own personality? Do I have any free will here? But
like he never would. He never bought as any presents ever, not that that matters, like it gives a ship, but it was like one of those things where you knew that he didn't buy anything, like if it was your birthday, it was always mums. I don't know if that's just a normal thing. But then like.
When Dad's surprised, he's like, yeah, he got his Golden I on n sixty four, and I'm like I almost feel bad for mom.
I'm like, you've you've like done birthday presents my entire life, and this is trump every single a singamore.
What a game Golden I was.
He probably like saw it written down on a list of like things to buy, and he just so it.
Was initially we weren't allowed to have it, and then Mum went away somewhere for like a week, and then Dad's like, Dad's gone, nah, he's not even a game. I don't know what possessed him to do it, but he just maybe there was like heaps of hype around it then I don't know, but like he was just like, no, fuck that, we're getting gold night, and he just came back with it, and I was like, are you serious, dude, this is like the best thing ever?
Was it a pretty like obvious good cop bad cop MP?
Well yeah, like not necessarily bad cop, but definitely like if you wanted it. If it was like if you want high level clearance to do anything, it's like we go to mum and then if you're being bad, then it's like Dad comes in.
Yeah, that comes in.
Dad comes in and just.
Like raises his voice and you're like, oh.
Shit, I know.
It's funny.
Like it was the other way around from my parents' Dad was like never really raised his voice, but when Mum yelled, it.
Was like fuck, yeah, you really fucked up.
My parents have some pipes on them when they want to.
You're in Baptist then for university?
Yes, yeah, yeah, it was in there, went there maybe a couple of years after school, like I didn't know what I wanted to do.
What you study?
I studied commercial radio communication, commercial radio. Yes, so my cousin who you know, Sarah, she did it and she was always raving out like Christmas come back and it was just about fun it was. And I was like I tried UNI for two weeks, like straight out of school. My girlfriend at the time was like her grandparents almost like pressured me into it, like go, you got to go to UNI. They were like a real high functioning family.
And I'm like, all right, I'd all go and do a business degree at the Australian Catholic University like my my u ai ATA whatever the hell was called u T I like it. It's changed now. But yeah, that didn't get me much. So I tried to do business for a couple of two weeks and then it was like I hate this place, and then it's two weeks to get out before you have to start paying.
A couple of years later, I was like, let's do something.
Let's try to do something. And then I had a maid who was already up in Bathist, and so went up there did commercial radio, which was funny as well, right like unis like it's great. I loved it. But they were like, you know what the future of audio is, guys, digital radio. And I'm like, okay, sweet. So we're all liked and they're like, guess what.
One day digital radio is going to be in cars, They're going to be in your fridge and like so you're like, you know what I mean.
So you're like you're learning all this stuff and then you leave and it's like, oh, podcasting and like digital radio is a form of it, but like podcasting was the future. Yeah, but Bathist was great.
You go back to you and you're like, do you guys have anything to say for this massive up?
Yeah?
Yeah, don't mean you're like a pioneer though, Like do they want to invite you back to be like hey, speak to the keys like I.
Think actually at one point we were I don't know if we were asked to. We spoke to someone from the UNI about going back to speak and I don't know whether there was an inquiry about whether they were like.
There was some conversation about it.
I don't know whether, like i'd be, there are much more qualified.
People talk yourself down to advocate, were there, like you know.
I mean all those boys, well one of them does have a kid, now that'd be great.
And you met ed Yes Eddie, yea Eddie. Sorry for those listening. Eddie is your podcast co host on Hello Sport.
Correct.
Do you remember what was that first?
Like?
It was it walking into the same class and you guys sat next to each other and loved blossomed.
No, so we had a little bit more of a relationship than that. So he was in my brother's year at school, but I thought he was someone else, Like he looked heaps like this other guy in their year. I thought you guys are brothers originally when a lot of people do, or a lot of people just think that one of us is the other one no one.
I feel like you start to when you spent enough time with the co host, everyone starts to think that we're brothers.
Now, And I'm like, when you grow a mustache and put a hat on, just actually it happened, and we then.
We talk exactly the same now as well, like it's but so he was in my brother's you're at school, I thought he was a guy called Jack keeping shout out to Jack. And then once we went to UNI, we both started at the same time, and it was just you know, when you're there and you're like, well, we both know no one here, so let's just like on the first day we're just sort of like yeah,
and then just he's like the funniest dude. And he was like, he says, he's like I never thought I was funny, or like no one had ever like thought I was funny. Wasn't something where I was like something security like I'm not funny, but I I just thought like the way he was, the way he would say, so I was like, this is just the funniest person ever. And so that was sort of just how we started getting on.
That is fucking beautiful. It's like Brussels Sprout being like, no one's going to think I'm delicious, and you're like, I do.
I love him sput.
And so then at this point was Steph who was your wife? She in the mix.
She was I met her when I was nineteen oh and she was seventeen.
Again in my brother's year.
Let's not tell the cops that.
Yeah, I wanted to judge here one hundred percent leater. Yeah, I'm gonna have my lawyership.
But no, So she was in year twelve. I just finished school.
There, he does put it that way. Yeah, she was five, so she was friends with my brother a year below me. And again like she knew me more than I knew her, just because like you know, and then I met her at a bar. I met her at the Oak in Double Bay.
That was like where we first hooked up.
So you were back from Bathist. No, this was.
Before I went, So I didn't go to Bathist.
I was like twenty one, twenty.
Old man, I film like that.
Everyone's like, are studio. So yeah, I met her when when like first year out of school, and then we were basically together since we broke up for a year and a half. Because it seems like probably a smart thing to do, to be honest, but I was like, I just was a great boyfriend.
You know, I don't believe that.
Yeah, but you know, like when you're young and it's like I'm going away to UNI every day, Like it just was a realistic everywhere I'd imagine that's a pretty hard environment to maintain because you're doing a long distance Yeah, and batist is you Yeah, And like, genuinely it wasn't it. It was nothing to do with like, oh, there's heaps of girls up there. It was just more that, like I liked fucking off, like just being silly, having fun, having big nights doing that, and then you come back
to Sydney and you're wrecked from the weekend. That's when we went to hang out, and I was like, and she's a very intelligent person who.
Had like Eddie getting the best version of you.
Yeah, yeah, he's probably still.
My wife says, everyone gets fun time ash, but then you're just sad.
Timing wise for the breakup, was was a little bit tricky.
Yeah, it was. I was wed booked a holiday to Bali with Eddie and his missus who's now his wife, and then another and here's missus Stilson and his wife beautiful.
It's just like three couples. Everyone's rock solid.
Two weeks before we go, she dumps me, which is just a great I love the term dumping. I dumped.
It must have been pretty serious because you've got flights booked, like fully serious and she's like yeah, and then I'm like rattled.
And she was the most depressing part of it because she was she was going with her mum the start, and then after like a couple of weeks of her mom, it was like we're all going to meet up at this like villa or something.
And then so she dumps me and then it's like we can still go if.
You want, no way, yeah, like this is the most embarrassing we've paid for it. Yeah. No. I was like fuck that, I'm just going to move my flight, and so I moved it. I just fully gate crashed my mate. It's holiday with his entire family and like all of their partners and and kids and all that sort of stuff, and I'm like, dude, I'm coming with your family. He's like right, oh, He's like he's like a super hot dude.
And we get over there, and any night we went out, there's like two seconds and he'd have just chicks all over him. And I'm you know, like if you've been in a relationship a long time and then you break up, you're like, I don't know what.
But also they could smell the desperate they could.
Smell it, and they could see it you know.
It was.
Balley and it's hot, right fucking Bali, And we're going to Coot a nightclub, and I went, you were in super bad when mclovin is like dressed in a fucking shirt and pants evance. Everyone in this nightclub is in bodies and singlets and I've got I've got Chino pants on it and a linen shirt and braces even in like he's just emboardies and ship and I'm like, I rock up.
And I'm like, oh, you're just sweating.
So bad. And his old man came with us as well, so I hung out with this with his dad the whole time. His dad left and I just walked down by myself.
It was so bad, so bad.
It wasn't like I think that would have made that worse is if you saw Steph.
No, that would have been tough. Didn't go at the same time, when did you rekindle? We sort of kept in touch, like she was kind of messing with me, but she'd always like call me out of the blue or like when the mates like what's gone, and I'm like, yo, you dump me. I had an awful time in Bali. Let's not don't keep calling me here.
Like but also as good. But the core that was attaching you and Steph together wasn't entirely cut like.
I always sounds corny. I always felt like we'd get back together, like I was. It always felt I don't know why, And I wasn't really like entertaining like relationship like girlfriends or anything like that. I was just sort of like, yeah, well because yeah, there was no chance of another relationship. But yeah, So I think it was like a year and a half. I actually went.
A band Drifts.
Tr f F played the drums, and I think she saw that was like, he's pretty hot.
That was not a good thing.
Thinking should we start a dad bad singing like Frozen song?
We could call it bad Ham. I think that's a great man. I've already got this mapped out for this guy. It sounds like you've actually been planning that.
We rang here today, ranging here today.
So she's seen you in a band. She's thought, yeah, this look. I say that to her, She's like it was unattractive.
So how old are you at this at this time? Dude?
I find now I have no idea how old I was at any of the stages in my life. I'm say like twenty four to twenty five, but I don't know, so I think we may have been back together by then. But anyway, like we we stayed in touch and then we got dinner one night. We hooked up and notes back on.
And I find it interesting with couples. I feel like there's normally one person who's leading the charge when it comes to starting a family. Do you remember was that from Steph? Was that yourself or was it united.
It was or an accident? It was in the hands of the gods that one. It was just like we'd spoken about it again. By the time we'd had Evey. The time we got pregnant, we've.
Been together for ten years ish more, so.
It was like was it going to happen? Like it wasn't.
We were comfortable that that was where it was going to go.
We weren't married, not that that matters, but I think we'd gone away on like a holiday and we were like, you know, you're in you're in like Europe, and you just forget that, like shit, You're like fuck it, yeah, let's do it. And then we had a scare flack of determined in Greece and she's like, holy fuck, I'm pregnant.
We were like, Jesus Christ, that seems quick.
That's going to ruin the ey. Dude. I have no idea, but the Mediterranean makes people more fertile.
Apparently, it's very similar to ap to our firstborn we found in Croatia.
Yeah, we thought she was pregnant and we're like walking around the streets and she's like holding a belly, like, oh, oh my god. And then we get back to the room and I'm like, do you want to drink? She's like I can't now, and I'm like, oh shit, yeah right, and then she goes in the bathroom. She's like, oh fuck. And in Greece, the pregnancy test to like switch like a plus is do you want a plus or like a plus plus means you're not pregnant or something. She's like,
oh wait a minute. So that was like so we had opened our like sort of minds to just like but we were open to it.
I don't know when Laura first found out she was pregnant and that time we that baby didn't go full term. We lost it really early on, but there was a moment where you're like, okay, like now, from this moment on, I'm like I'm about to be a dad, and you start your imagination just runs with it. Well, you in Greece, going okay, this is.
Was there only one day, wasn't it? It was, yeah, it was. The imagination was going well for like three and a half hours were what we were out like at like this nice place having dinner, like a nice view, and we're sitting there.
Like holy shit, oh my god, this is happening.
And then walking around the streets and just she's holding her belly and like we're looking at and like you know, going shopping or something. And then we get back.
Buying prams already yeah exactly.
Yeah, and then we get back and she's like, I'm just going to do another one to make sure, and then she does, and then she's looking on the box and we're like it's all in Greek, and then we're doing the translated thing and she's.
Like, oh, oh shit, I'm not pregnant here.
And that was kind of like a relief, yeah, because we were sort of open to it. And then it was like yeah, that n so. But it wasn't that long after. It was probably six months after that, Yeah, we're back from Europe. Yeah, well it was maybe a year later actually, because then I we found out she was pregnant, and like around this time then like a couple of months before, so like the end of twenty nineteen, I got made redundant from my radio job.
Shout out to Macquari Sports Radio and.
Then it was Bushfires and it was COVID and then I was like laboring. I was just like, oh my god, what the fuck is going on here? Understandably she was stressed because she's again like what the fuck is going on here? I was just always felt like it'd work out. I don't know that, and again like blind optimism, but yeah to hell, yeah, it's such a mad thing. Like right after I got laid off from the radio thing, COVID hit, I was laboring. Then you couldn't labor anymore
because it was like you couldn't be around people. Then a made of mine was like, my mates have pivoted their business to selling sanitizers masks, and like they were a beauty business. Yeah, so they're starting like this other business, where do you want to come and sell sanitize and shit? And I was like, never sold a thing in my life.
Sure did that for a year, making no money, but like it was just enough to get it was almost funny, and we talk about it was like the happiest time in our life as well, like there was was just super chilled and a new baby. You're all locked inside and it was just being locked in. I don't mind it, dude, like just suck when you're in there. But anyway, I did that for a year and then at the end of that year, we were basically the podcast was making just enough money to pay me exactly the same, and
she was like, why don't you just do it? Why don't you just have a crack, And I was like, if I was in a radio job where I'm getting paid more money, that was like stable, Like I don't know if I would have ever had the nuts to like just just get rid of all that and like put us under pressure.
Sometimes you need a little like push on the sho.
To give you a push to, and she gave you a push. She was like, just do it, just have a crack. Try for a year and if it doesn't work, then whatever, but at least you's like you aren't die wondering and exactly right when she found out that she was pregnant for real this time with ev with Eis.
I always say that as an adult, there is no bigger change in your old life then having a child and starting a family. How did you prepare for that? Yeah, like not much.
You're sort of just trying to mentally get your head around it. But you can't. Like there's there's preparation from like a operational you know, let's get the house in order, let's get a room, let's go to a baby expo and become an manager real quick.
Yeah.
Yeah, and then like once the baby.
Comes, you're like, oh, okay, Like O me for what this was.
So we're both pretty relaxed or I'm I'm very relaxed. She's she's a bit of both. She's like the right amount of not relaxed because to counteract my backness not a word, but so it was. I don't remember it being very stressful. It was just sort of the initial like finding out was stressful. Telling our parents were stressful, it was like, but then it was exciting. It was kind of like well, yeah, like what else are we doing here? Like we've been together for so it long
and like yeah, she don't get off the pot. Yeah, and I always wanted to have kids. I mean thirty. I think I was thirty when V was born, Like it's not young, but I'm like, I also kind of want to. I prefer to be on the younger side generally speaking. So I was like, yeah, let's just do it.
Yeah, well we've already done it.
Was she an easy baby?
Yeah, super easy. I gotta love that, Like it's super easy, Like, you know, nobody should ask your wife that question. I was talking to about it the other day or yesterday because I was coming over no, no, no, but I was like I was asking her about like trying to wrack my brains around.
Like it does become quiet. Like the newborn phase for me is like my the newborn phases.
Well, her birth was really bad.
Her birth was forty two hour labor, and like, how many kids was she haven't?
I know, yeah, forty two. So I was like, over, what's that a couple of days and then trying to remember how it happen to all back as well in those awful seats that have to sit on.
That, and then eventually real, yeah, that's really well, and well.
I was sleeping on the floor. I was actually it sounds so stupid. It was in like there was a like a thing in the hallow sport world that was popping off, Like there was something that I had to
like tend to. So being in the hospital, I'm just laying on the floor to eventually, after like thirty somehow she got given an every drill, they gave her something to sleep, and I'm laying on the floor in the hospital, went screenshotting people like just making content being like this is the most inappropriate.
Right now it is, but also likes your job.
Yeah, it's forty forty hours.
Well it's a long time. It's a long time. After like forty hours, and it was she had and it's maconiums like they pooh inside like they do their first pooh and they're inside. Came out and she was like limp and she had like poo in her lungs and so then like holy shit, they took her out straight away and like she wasn't crying, she was just like looking at her like it was really intense. Fifty doctors
in the room. They dragged her straight over to a bed, jammed like a tube down her throat like sucking everything out.
Do you remember, like what were you thinking at that stage? Dude?
Again, I was like I was just looking at all the doctors and I was like, obviously, like something needs to be done here, but like, but I can't do anything like that. I was just like, how stressed are they? Like how much is this just what they do and this is a thing that happens and how much of this is a like holy fuck if we don't like And I just felt like Steph was wigging out. Steph'smum was in there, wigging out, and I was just like, I think it's all good. I think they're just needing
to do this. And again, blind optimism. I was just like, I think that I think we're sweet. Like the was it's a hairy but the way they came in, the way they let this thing play out for so long, I was like they must have known this is a possibility, right, like yeah, they and they weren't like they didn't go, we're going to make it, give you a C section. It was like they just let it play out. So
I was just like I was just optimistic. I was like, Okay, I think we're all good and events and we weren't obviously we were sweet, but yeah it was. It was very intense, certainly for Steph, like that's one of those things where our second child, Zoe was smooth easy in a bath in the hospital, like really nice, She's like that heeled her.
Were you in the bath, I.
Was sitting like in the on the side of the I was there feeding the human soup. Yeah yeah, yeah, yeah, I was feeding watching that one was.
I am assuming that wasn't your call for the bath. That was your wife. That was.
Bubble bath. No, that was Steph. She was she really wanted to do it. I was like the thing that I was, I didn't. I don't like that he was doing it at home. I've got a lot of people that do it at home birth, and that to me just I'm like, I'd prefer something go south to just be exactly where you don't have to clean up. No, that's also something, but I'm prepared to look, I'm prepared to clean up if it means it's a fucking doctor there.
But anyway, I jumped forward to the second berth. So e was Eve was That was the hardest part of it, otherwise the baby shit and like she was pretty sweet, like to the point where obviously, like every kid is, you know, you have nights where they don't sleep but for the most part I was racking my brains trying to think about like a tantrum or a big thing, Like, there's just nuts she's been. That's pretty chill.
We Marley was a dream child to the point where we were like, what what are parents complaining about? This is we We did a trip overseas when my was three months old and we were just like two thumbs up, like.
This is easy.
Yeah.
Like my parents had my sister first and they were like, fuck, we're good at this, and then I came along.
Yeah.
Yeah, second one was still there. Still wasn't a sleep.
It was a similar case second time round.
Yeah, look Zoey again, is feel pretty cruisy like she's They were both very well behaved and like fun, sweet love little things. So he's just more like.
I'll do whatever the fun I want two and a half. Yeah, yeah, so similar to Masie and same. She's so sweet and I'll just do whatever the funk I want. Yeah, and get away with.
It and get away with it. Don't jump off that.
I'm sorry.
Oh no, I'm definitely jumping.
Did you did you have any like preconceived idea of what kind of kids you wanted in terms of boy girl.
I when so we did like pop the balloon with our mates find out what gender it was. I for non dude. I didn't have my own car. I just got laid off. But I wanted a boy. I think because I am one and I felt that it was going to be an easier I like, I understand and I remember what it was like. It's not it's well, I'm like.
I'm just so stoked with girls, like.
They're the best.
Love it.
I We'll go again, We'll try for a third, but I don't really care, like I would like a boy for just a bit of you know.
Some different variety.
Yeah, like those variety packs of the cereals.
It's like you have the ice ovo and then you're like, oh, I want something different? What else have they got?
Else have we got? But no, I was just I didn't have any real I was just more like healthy, happy, as long as they're all good, and then.
They've obviously, I imagine with everyone exceed your expectations, just like I'm going to say like tenfold, it's actually probably more that.
But yeah, are there any are there any moments that you struggle with the most with young kids?
Yeah, I would say sometimes I can be a bit short, like as in I can you know what I mean, like your it takes a lot of patience, right, like especially sometimes sometimes you forget that they're two and four.
Oh yeah, you know so quickly again that's.
Sort of the thing. And because they are so well behaved as well, Like our girls are just a particularly well I don't know what. I definitely don't think it's anything we've done, like, but they're particularly well behaved. So like even around you know, other kids, like you can just see it. They're like they're just chillers. And then
there are times we're very cognizant of it. We talk about it, like me and my wife, like, but there are times when like you're just really like you're you're like you are intolerant of like the slightest deviation from like just you know, being well behaved. And then that's one of those things where I like, you know, after the fact, you like feel like an asshole.
When you've like snap or something.
So for me, Oscar was pretty tricky to kid. He's a boy, so like he's crazy, right, and like same thing. It's like I'll be mid snap and my wife wo it's four Okay a huge point.
Yeah, trump me on that one. Yeah you don't check me?
Yeah, fuck, I get it.
Well, I guess maybe with work as well. My old man again, like he was, he was just like he didn't work, respectfully, Dad, you did work, He's like, yeah, so I would always I never had the experience of like a dad that would go to work every day and like come back at night. So that's sort of how even though like my job is very chill and like I can essentially do what I want, like it does require me. I do got to work every day, and I feel bad about that. Like, you know, sometimes
I'm like, am I working too hard? But isn't that kind of what you have to do if you want to be able to you know, holds and spend time. Yeah, you want to go. So it's like and I'm like, you don't want to miss things though as well, and you want to make sure that you're around. And I'm definitely around, but like that's one of those things where you're sort.
Of I'm around too much.
How would the conversation go with Eddie when you're like, oh, you know, we've got our own business here, which is still kind of in infancy but I want to take Matt leave. That conversation go down.
Well, luckily I was I was no longer employed for the first child, so Matt leave was huge. Mate, we we are he's look, he hasn't got kids yet.
Either.
It's like do whatever you want, like take as much time as you need, like or just like what it is is, especially with the podcast, so we recall we
got a few shows you do every week. It's like if you're just there for those, do whatever you want, like just don't go, like go and be with your family or if you can't be like it's it's a sort of similar approach with like holidays in a sense, but it's like you want to go on a holiday for for a month, like just go and we'll just work it out like someone feel someone will fill in or but yeah, there's no, it's not it's not really something we've had to properly a bridge we've probably had
to cross. I guess with Zoie we did a little bit because it can.
Be hard with people who don't have kids to understand, like if Ash calls me and says, I we can't record today. Kids have got conjunctive artists. Then on daycare, I've got to pull the pin. I get it.
Yes, yeah, yeah, yeah. No. Eddie's great with that, like he gets it. He doesn't get it. He doesn't get it at all.
He's one of those people who thinks his dog's his child. But but.
He gets it to the point where it's like we've got a very good we're friends like so it's very it's very cruisy, and he knows that he's going to be asking for the same thing soon enough.
With Laura and myself, I put my hand up and say that I am a lot better now. But initially I was pretty shit as a hands on parent because I kind of fell into that period of you know, early days, you're like, I'm kind of redundant here because it's all baby in mum, you don't need me.
It could be any blob.
Yeah, And I remember, like, you know, I'd wake up in the morning and I'd kind of packed my bag and I'd be like, all right, see you, honey, and she's like, where are you going. I'm gonna get the gym, and then you know, I'll go see nath for a bit and then you know, I guess I'll come and when I come home, i'd be on the phone as well when she's sitting there with like a month old newborn. Yeah, she had to sit me down and go, hey, you're a jerk. Yeah you're being a little bit shit.
Yeah, yeah, how was.
It for you in terms of like dynamics and responsibility.
We've definitely had a few of those chats as long as you like take the criticism for like all the feedback for what it is right like then, it's always been pretty smooth. But there's been periods where it's been either that transition of like you can't just go out and like have a good night or a big night and then like the next day you completely wiped out
and you can't do anything. So the early days, that was sort of what it was because that was like the biggest transition there where it was like you can't you know, your your night's out with your friends and all that sort of stuff. When Zoe came along, it was just about like she's on maternity le but she's got two kids and then I'm working, but like trying to have a bit more of a healthy world life balance of being around more than the most recent one
was around the mental load. I don't know if you've heard the mental load, and that's one that I struggle with the most because my brain is token up so much of my brain just is it always in work like as in it's not like an excuse either, it's just more that like when I when you're doing your own thing, when I was doing something that I didn't like, like just a job with the easiest fucking thing to switch off from in the world. I want to think about laboring. Yeah, I'm going to dig that I didn't
finish moving all of those pilo like logs yesterday. Good luck doing that. But so when it's your own job, I've found that it consumes my thoughts like a significant amount of time, and it's hard to switch off from that. So then when there's like things that are needed to be done around their house, they take a back seat.
Well it's yeah, but not even intentionally. I just forget, Like my memory is just like not it's almost like and again it's easy to say like, because she has a million things to do as well, she's got her job and then she got everything in the house. So I'm not like, as I said, it's non excuse, it's just like the way my brain works.
And I find that balance where you're like, Okay, I need to stop thinking about work now. Yeah, and like same for me, Like I left a job I hated a year ago, and honestly, as soon as I put my laptop down, I just did not give.
A shit about that.
But now same, like where always going back and forth with ideas and things were going there. Sometimes I find myself on my phone talking to Matt or texting Matt or something like that when I should be like, oh shit, hang on, I'm actually at home now.
Yeah.
Yeah, And so that's been something. So there's there's the one you get home, it's like put your phone down. But then again like which I do, but then I'm like, fuck, I've got a what am amazing? Well no, because it's more like there's still in the content game, like there's shit that needs that needs to be checked on of you. I've got to like make sure our business. I am more the like head of the content side of things, and Eddie is a business brain. So when there's like
videos is this good to go? How is this is this? Like I'm always having a review that ship and I always find that like that all comes through at like six o'clock and so I'm at home and I'm like, oh, I just quickly got to go to the toilet for like the fourth time, and you know what I mean, like I said, is that but like I definitely try to like get home, put the phone down, and be present.
And then in the household, it's more just like delegating tasks around the house where it's like I am kitchen man.
Like you know what I mean, Like I just pictured you with like just tongue fingers, like yeah, like Edwards hand tongue hands.
So it's like that as an example, is like the kitchen's cleanliness and operation functionality, like that's me. That's me. Then it's like Steph is general household like washing and shit, and I mean she would uh like probably that's more consistent, right, But so there's certain things like that around the house that like we've just delegated and it's like she doesn't have to worry about it. Anything to do with the cars like Regio and all that sort of stuff like
mini things like that's me. So it's just trying to find that balance off the back of her like making me listen to some podcast where they were talking about it. What's funny though she'll like, like you know again because it affects them more like she's obviously proactively like can you listen to this? This is interesting, or like it might be a thing about parenting or like read this or like some book about like how to raise girls.
That like themselves, or like not read it, but like read this little bit of it.
But then like she sends you this podcast about the mental loade and I'm like, yeah, like I'll listen to it.
Then I forget, and then it's like, oh did it?
And then I did listen to it and it's funny, like there's it was this mix like had great messages in there, and like it was actually I took away.
From yeah, what can you teach?
Well, it was just more about the way to to like separate household items that she had some she had some funky way of like doing it with like making it a card game. I was like, we don't need to do that.
Monopoly exactly of life go to jail, sweet.
Get two hundred bucks for that.
Did you have mates at the time they had kids who would kind of.
Well not for the first I was the first one, but now I got and so that's really good and they're all really close. All of a lot of my friends I've been friends with in primary school and all of their all of our wives are really tight. So we've got like a nice group. Not that you come across like a tired individual. Could you look great? Thank you so much.
Just want to put that out there first and foremost. You're always glowing, But we just thought.
You're tired on the end side.
Yeah, oh dude, yeah.
Look, I feel like that's life though for us right well, it doesn't have to be now.
But now that we know about the IV, about the IV.
But yet to the end of the day and you just spent it does feel strange like, you know, one second, we're talking just the three of us. Next minute Amy knocks on the door, and before you know what, you've got needles in your arm and you're getting five hundred mills of.
Hartman's Hartman's compound.
I feel like I can't really, I know, I can. I feel like I can't like get around and move like.
That would have been fun.
That would have been fun, just.
Go down the shops, three grown man, like we've escaped hospital.
Tom, Yes, you've been well. I don't know if it's been something you've had at birth, you had no you have no sense of smell.
Yeah, I actually don't. This is a it's like a bone of contention between me and my parents. I have never, from my memory, been able to smell, like a couple of things. I can smell like spearm in, eucalyp just like really fume me sort of stuff, and it's going to be right up my nose. Yeah, but like, actually no,
I don't know about a permanent market. But like you just got to the things where you're you know, sort of verting on huffing it and then so I never was able to smell, but I was never ever taken the doctor for it ever. And so I'm like to my parents, I'm like, there could just be a fucking crayon stuck up there that I don't know about.
Imagine if one day you just sneezed out a full red.
Crayon and you're like, oh, yeah, like.
Those videos that you see like a colorblind person put.
But so did you say, like, hey, Mum and Dad, just want to let you know, I can't smell a single because.
I was always becau everyone's aways like, smell this, and I'm like, I can't smell.
You know this.
Up until eighteen, say, it was reasonable for me to be like, you guys are dogs, take me to the hospital. But after eighteen, once I've become an adult, I've just never gone to the door. So now it's on me as much as anything else. But yeah, the.
Best thing would be the fact that changing nappies that's no issue for you.
No issue at all. I And like that's almost because woo still is not something I enjoy, you know what I mean. So it's like the process is still like visual still there, like I still have a bit of like Jesus there's.
Been blind and not being able to smell, Well that would.
Just be the lucky ones tound.
But yeah, so from a smell perspective, I can't imagine like what that would do, like that the waft of But I'm always I'm still very put off by like a massive shit, it's it's future the smells even but I can enjoy it way more because it's like, oh my god, this is shoes, Like is it big? It doesn't smell at all?
Does it mean that with you and your wife, the responsibility of anything toilet related falls on your shoulders?
Actually not And it's probably would be reasonable for it to fall on my shoulders.
But it's just always look, it has always been a.
It's been a pretty even split. But like with things where it's with kids related bad smells, it's even split.
But like we've got a cat that throws up, like.
There's always a key every morning you wake up to like vomit somewhere that's on me, or like again, the cat kills a rat that's outside, that's on you, that's on me. I always so I got to clean the the you know, like the bin because.
You can't smell that, but like I always get stuck with the I can smell a poo like I've I've just let us sit in it.
You can. That's the problem though, because if I'm with them, if I'm with them again now they're sort of pretty toilet trained, they'll tell me. But like before they could, it was like she sometimes like it's one of them, not a pool. I'm like, oh fuck, I haven't even checked. And then they're in there and it's like like only
a couple of times bad. But you know when you've seen them, like when there's like nappy rash for it's like they've been sitting in a purse like dog shit on the skins already, and you're like, I am so sorry. I had no idea that was going on. It's also like for myself as well, super self conscious about smelling bad, Like I can't tell if I stink.
I didn't want to say anything.
I know, well, now I know you're lying to me
of myself. But the thing that then I don't know is like my shirts can smell like your shirt stinks, I'm like, what, Like I just washed it, and then it's like for some reason, the fucking shirt smells so like I've always got dio on me, and I've always got like I usually I've climbed, always got breath mints on me, So that it's a blessing and a curse because like I know the way people speak about stinky people when I'm in the room, I'm like, they're talking
about me, Like I don't I don't want to be the stinky high school when your hormones are raging, sweaty in your mates were just like, guys, please let me stink.
Can I ask about the girls? Have they inherited this gene?
No? And that's actually something that's funny it's kind of almost like a wig out. When we're walking past someone it's like, oh my god, that smells great, and I'm like, ah, this is amazing, this is amazing. Thank God that it's it. But what they do do is know that I can't smell, so they fuck with me. So even You'll be like, you stink, and I'm like, bullshit, I stink like, and then I'll be the step I'm like, do I stinks with super like?
I get like they will know that I don't know, so they'll mess with it.
Like in the morning, they will come into bed and I'm trying to get away that you stink, and then I'm like, oh, so do I stink?
It's like no, for the record, you smell great.
Thank you so much.
Again, You're welcome. I'm happy to confirm that we are now fully hydrated.
I'm the most we have all.
Taken in the five hundred meals of Haartman. Nurse Amy is just about to extract my needle and I am buzzing.
Yeah, it's good stuff of vitamin C, chock full.
And I would say meeting the in laws is probably one of the most scariest parts of any relationship. But I imagine that would be even more intense if there's cultural differences to try and digest.
Yes, definitely. Steph is her mum Croatian, late father Serbian, and they all none of them were born here. Steph was born here, but she didn't speak English, like that wasn't her first language.
Oh wow.
And so it's very like I make the joke of though that like I'm living in a foreign film whenever it's any of those sorts of But they're all pretty cool, I think because we've been together for a long time. Like, I don't know how they perceived me when I was twenty. I'm sure it was different. You know, who the hell's this kid? Yeah, But as it's gone on, like we were at their place the other day, a brother's place
the other day. He's a bit older, and I was like, his son's just getting engaged to a Croatian girl, And I'm like, is this sort of like you know, I know, like a lot of cultures sort of like that's what they like.
I'm like, is this sort of a Croatian thing? You'd like preferred that?
And he's like, ah, kind.
Of yah, And if you're not Croatian, we did they obviously had to initiate you in some Yeah, that's.
The process, like trying to get you drunk, and they were they succeeded.
How do I sign up?
Yeah exactly, But like it's not just about they try to get you not just drunk, but like smash like and it's only happened, like it's only a couple of times. It's like every time you go there. But there's like when because the extended family is so big, So it's when you go to those ones and then there's like uncles you've never met.
How many are we talking? Like ten twenty hundred.
So STEP's brother in law, it's all my sister in law, my STEP's brother is STEP's brother's wife. It has eleven siblings. Holy shit.
Wow.
And then and then they all have like five kids, and it just goes on and on, and it's like, oh, you know, you know Dragon and I'm like, who who Dragon? It's like stub it's up or some shit, and I'm like, I don't remember. I'm sorry. I've got like Cuban and I swear like there's something where it's like you've only got a certain amount of like one hundred and fifty games or something.
Yeah. So when you were getting initiated, like you're you're getting ready to get absolutely blind drunk, were you warned and Steph say, hey, this is going to happen.
No, I just started to pick up on the vibes. It was like, have another shot of right here. I'm like, okay, well if you have some of this whiskey, and I'm just like, all right, this is happening. I'm just going to eat a lot of food and I'm just going to not say no to anything. And then yeah, not driving home.
It'd be funny if they like got your piece and then made you drive home.
Yeah, that's a realiation. Not pick me up from the prison.
But I'm imagining now that you've been You've been with Steph for sixteen years.
Yeah.
So when someone else is joining in the family, even if they are Croatian, are you now one of the people who are offering shots let's get.
This, certainly more inclined to be on the enabling side, sure, Dragon, Yeah, Dragon, Yeah, exactly definitely.
And Eve another white boy comes in, You're.
Like, yes, there aren't any.
Just me. Actually might be a case of like it'd be awkward if another Caucasian Australian kid from Barrel comes in the family.
Make you have a proper drink off with him, family.
And big enough.
And before we go, there's one last question I'd love to ask you when you are an older man and old, yes, because you are, you are, you're young now, but I'm so young right now, I'm talking like in your sixties, when you're you know, the kids have flown the nest. Ye, what would you like them to remember about the household that they grew up in?
That it was fun and lively and like full of ivy drips, full of that lively I mean I and then like so when you're young, just fun right, like playing, laughing. So but then older, I liked the idea of and this is something from like Steph culture that I like as well as like there's always something cooking, there's always people coming in and out, like there's steps family, Like there's always family coming over or friends coming over coming going or like oh yeah, we're just here, Like I
really like that energy. It's just like it's it's fun and it's it's it's I mean exciting. It's probably too extreme, but there's just something quite nice and comforting about like having everyone around each other and getting on is a good one as well. Shout out to mom and dad. We had a bit of that growing up, but a divorce would suggest we didn't have enough of it.
I shouldn't. Sorry, I came from a broken founders.
My parents are still together.
My parents are great. It's actually my parents actually still get on with Like we had Easter with my mum's partner and my old man came, so they're actually really good. Just being able to have that's also more kids, Like just having more people around. I think it's nice. So and if they've got somewhere to always come back to, you know, like a home base as we go off and do all your ship, but like you can always come back here. That's I think that's what I want.
I love. That's cool. Very well said Tom. Thank you, Thank you for your time. Thank you for being entirely up for getting IV.
Drips jab with a needle always.
You didn't question it. In the same what's.
Going on Vitamin C and just mainline heroines.
Yeah, yeah, well you'll find me. I'm noted off.
He's a horn guy.
Thank you. I really enjoyed it. Sadly, that is the end of this episode, but if you have enjoyed this moment any other episode of two doating dads in our portfolio diversified portfolio ash wigs, we would love it. If you had sent it to anyone else out there, he would need to laugh. Don't have to be parents, just as long as they're not pet parents everyone else. We would love them to join our community.
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Is that whatever we instead of instead of referencing you as listeners, as listeners, you're ruders because let's be honest, ruders and shagger.
Yeah, we're working on it. Let us. We're also listening your thoughts on.
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I love that. I love that I don't have to read them and you'll read them for me.
They're all so positive. It's a couple of bad ones about ASH, but I don't need to know there. No, no, no, they're I'm joking. They're all great. They're all great. Better way great, anyway. We'll see you guys next week. Two. Doting Dad's Podcast acknowledges the traditional custodians of country throughout Australia and the connections to land, see and community.
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This episode was recorded on Gadigle Land