#59 What A Clusterfluck Of A Week

New Fall. Ray.

You are.

I believe that the.

Heart does go on.

More.

You open the door.

And you what and you here in my heart will.

Go on.

Wow, you are a strange cat.

Welcome back to to Going Dads. I'm Maddie, Jay, I'm Ash and this is a podcast all about parenting. It's the good, the bad, and and if you've come wanting any advice, not right now. It's not going to happen. Not today, beat it, not next week, not the week after. It's never going to happen.

It happened on the bonus episodes. That happened.

It happens, but not from us, from the other guests.

Essentially, we're just a vessel.

Two men, one of whom finished school, got a terrible, terrible result.

Oh didn't you ever?

You didn't finish school, did you?

I left school at fifteen at shows. Can't read, can't write, can't talk. Just old school salesmen, That's what I am. Come out of school and I'm like, hey, hey, what do.

You want to buy?

What do you want to buy?

What price you're looking at?

Before we do get into it, Matt, we need to mention our friend Stone would yes. And today we are drinking a pacific Ale. Okay, it's bar and Bay in a bottle, Matthew, it is from Iron Bay.

It's the name.

Let me dress one second, have a sip, let me.

Know what you think, just as delicious as it always is.

Let me have a go.

They're yet to disappoint.

Ah tme on the.

Pacific Ocean where it gets its pacific Ale name.

And do you know what you can taste in there?

Hang on? What's that? Almost? One more? When you're not thinking about it, it's easy to miss. But when you are thinking about it, the galaxy hops.

Oh, fresh from Tasmania.

Those are coming through.

Strong leaves, those floral aromas. It's nice and fruity. It they just make grape beer. And we thank them as always for making this episode possible.

I've booked in a trip, have you in May to Byron Bay.

Well, and may you enjoy yourself.

I cannot wait to go to the brewery.

Yeah, I haven't been in a long time.

And I guarantee you, my friend, that when you go on this trip and you go to the brewery, you will see my face there. We have threatened that sort of thing before. I'm going to weasel my way into this trip.

Well, yeah, my trip is for my brother's fortieth, but which includes me podcast as well. And I have to apologize before we continue anymore. Ash because it's happened. Mate. We got struck by bad last year to the.

Point where we nearly had to cancel.

We were almost just going to pull the pin on two doting.

Dads because just two dying dads.

It was wee can week out. We would just get hit left, right and center with all types of ailments.

And I remember we did that episode and I was just profusely sweating, and I was like.

It wasn't just the flu though, with like any kind of orifice. We'd like, you know, hemorrhoids, hemorrhoids, We had mouth ulcers, we had kidneys, were.

Sore, shipped myself a heap of times.

Yeah, it's that's people don't tell you about running a podcast about the health issues that come as a result.

Yeah, yeah, I think we've got workers comp.

Ma'am. I'm sick at the moment.

You don't sound, you don't sound. You sound better than you did yesterday. You're a little bit snuffily, but do you to be expected?

Do you know why it's not hitting as hard I'll tell you do you.

Tell me, you tell me what.

So at the moment, Laura is away.

Of course, gallivanting in between the boozy lunches April's having and the trips Laura is having.

We might as well move in together, two gay dads.

I thought you never asked, and I did. I facetimed the other day she is working over there, she's working very hard. But I facetimed literally FI guess where she was, next to the pool, by the pool, tonic in hand, and she was like, it's between meetings.

Shows, a quick meeting with Sir Jinn and satonic.

I was like her and a sister obviously her business partner for those of you who don't know, just having a bloody lovely time sipping G and t's by the pool. Just. Part of the reason why it's not hit me as hard is because I've got like the mum shield.

Yeah, okay, because they just get on with it.

They just get on with it. A drop in one or two degrees in temperature, and.

I'm like other hatches, yeah, bed ridden, head in to bed.

Yeah.

But so I've got like the mumshield, which is deflecting. I'm running it like half capacity right now, and I've got both kids. Nana is also away.

She's gallimanting too.

The women in my life have deserted me.

Back to Vegas, I go.

Go on to the days of us having a hell of time. So I'm looking after both kids. I will say the trip that we had on the cruise ship that has helped me a great deal and just making Lola not think I'm a piece of shit.

Yeah, you bonded.

Yeah. And now that Laura's out of the mix, she's come back and kid the dark side. This morning was a little bit tricky. This morning was a bit of a clusterfuck, if I may say that, go for it. What happened, well, the girls have over the last few nights Becauselaura has been gone for a little while now, Lola's been waking up at two o'clockish once a warm water.

Did you say cuddle?

She's like, no, no, I'm like dragging her into my bed.

She's like, leave me alone, but I bring it into my bed and then Marley will then wake.

Up realize that she's not there because they share a room.

Right, they share a room.

How is the bunk beds going just really quickly?

All right?

Yeah, I might have to get.

Some absolutely fantastic, highly reckon.

I don't need Macie running around as well in the middle of the night. She's she's bad news.

I would keep the cop for as long as you can, but when it's time to bunk beds.

Even the lid, I keep the lid on it.

No, you got me, just lock her in there.

But Marley will wake up and then she comes into our bed and I've got both girls in the bedroom. Issue is can I wake each other up? And then they start chatting as well?

Are they chatting about?

Just like I don't know. Marley woke up this morning and was talking about daycare. She was just like, well, today's going to be pretty big day because we're making these cards. And Molly was like, right, how many cards are you making?

The scheduling and meeting It was five in.

The morning, and I was like, Marley was like well, I'm up now, and I'm like, no, it's it's not it's in the middle of the night.

Yeah, because it's like right at the cusp of like the end of day.

Let's savings too, so it's so dark, that's right.

I was like, you've got to go back to sleep. I was like, please, come on, and do you know what she said? Sleeping is boring.

She says that now, but when you get older, you're like, I wish I could get more sleep.

It's not boring, it's the best.

So our day started at five o'clock this morning and we had two bottles of milk in the fridge. I used up one on the girl's breakfast. I then had the freshy fresh bottle. You know, sometimes things happen where it doesn't register that that's a problem in it's an issue after the fact that you're like, oh, yeah, I should have known. But I opened the milk and it was like I was opening a bottle of coke. I went the milk. You said that the kids no, because

You never buy two at a time for starters. That was your milk management terrible, terrible.

You've either got too much or not an art.

So you had some carbonated milk for breakfast and I.

Didn't register until I was almost like, I was so tired, and I had one mouthful and I had the second one. Oh and it was it was so fucking it was two weeks off.

Oh my god, was it clumpy?

Not clumpy? I was in this scene vomiting. Emalia and Laula were like, can you keep it down?

The release of gas is definitely a.

Giveaway if you're opening up milk.

You got some milk on.

So that's how my morning started with a carbonated milk.

How are you feeling now? Yeah, you just got it straight up.

I vomited it all up, straight out.

You're like, that's a spicy cow honestly bad milk. There's nothing worse putrid.

And it's a shame because you know, normally I'm a guy who likes he likes milk. I don't want I don't just like milk. How good is the glass, mik, I love it.

You're a horse now.

Milk is done.

The mention of a full glass of milk.

But it's such a shame when something that normally brings you so much joy ends up.

And then it takes forever to go back to it.

One time I got sick from a sweet tailed pork in Bali, but I pooped myself at a restaurant, and.

I love how you almost tried to pull out of that story.

I was like, too much, no, and it dripped down the chair. It took me two years to eat sweet and sail pork again because of the fear that I might poop and drip down the chair again.

After the milk incident, Lola's got this weird addiction that's just kind.

Of crept Is it a clips mints?

No? No? Hows that going by?

Well, we ran out and we hadn't got to the shop because the day we ran out happened to be good Friday. Everything's closed and I'm not paying petrol station money MINS.

Well it's not mins for Lola. It's band aids.

They love band aids.

And to be fair, she had cut us a little nick previously with stairs outside. They're a bloody killer. A little nick on the foot. Put a bandad on it. Problem solved. But now every morning she's been waking up and she's like, could put on me, could you?

And I'm like, like two thousands Nelly and he had one of his face.

I'm like, I should show her that photo of Nellie. And so if she mimics it.

No, because then she that's what she'll start wanting. At the moment, it's anywhere from the hips down, so she's sometimes she's like, yeah, give me an upper thigh. Other times it's a knee, just anywhere. At the moment, she's really into putting band aids on the big toe. Leave it. Sometimes it's moments like she just wants it on there for like a split second, and then she's like, take it off. Other times, this morning she had five band aids on her legs and I sent her out the door.

What's kin together?

Think?

I was like, is everything okay at home?

I'm about to get well fed? But just absolutely yeah, loves it and also as a single pan it now if that's going to keep them happy.

Oh totally, Oh yeah, I don't care.

I want to ask you one thing though, I'd love to know your thoughts on this situation. Who is entitled to the toothpaste? In this situation, one of you is going away, you and your partner, one of you is going away? Do you keep the toothpaste at home? Or does a person who's going away get to take the toothpaste with them?

You haven't thought about getting two toothpastes?

Made the money you've got?

How many bathrooms you got? Fifteen bathrooms? We have three brooms a three bathroom.

Look when you say it, oh my god, we have.

That's two more than a regular man.

When Laura left for Bali, she.

Took a bathroom with it.

She's taken the toothpaste.

Yeah, that's not so who gets a toothpaste? I think she's entitled to taking it as long as there's one left at home. For general years, I'm using kids. I have notice on the bench over there there's a new toothpaste. Yeah, was taking the kids toothpaste, but these.

I've been using the kids toothpaste.

It's so yummy.

I always use it when I get home pissed and our toothpastes in the other bathroom. I don't want to wake anyone up. I'm like brushing my teeth with a tiny little toothbrush.

I'm like, I wonder where amazing gets a mint addiction from.

Yeah, but look, I think.

She should get her own.

She's going to the airport, there's going to be a chemistry.

Also, get a travel size one on the way to the airport. What do you want to lug around.

A big toothpaste tube like a freak less risk of it exploding in your bag, because that happened to me.

Didn't explode on the way to Vegas.

It was pushed open and it filled up the bottom of a bum bag like a dad bum bag that we use filled it up, and I found myself scrubbing out a bum bag and Vegas. It's like meant to be having a good time here.

I am hands and knees.

Look at a bum bag, a bum bag.

I was like joy two person like, yeah, just folded, folded in the bag inside. I just wipe your toothbrushure on this. And worst case scenario is you use it all over there you come home with less things.

You're a smart man. There you go, beautiful for.

More travel tips. But yeah, I think you've been left in the lurch there.

I don't like that. And I'll have a stone word to please.

You know.

One of the best feelings in the world.

ASH give it me straight, big man.

Being welcomed, Being welcomed with open arms. Ah, doesn't matter where I am. If I'm being welcomed, I'm going to stick around. I'm going to have fun. That reminds me Ash at KO everyone is welcome, even if you think a sin bin is something you find in a church.

Wow that dad joke?

Yes, Matt, And on KO there is heaps of action this weekend. We've got, of course, You're Mighty Broncos versus Dolphins, another local derby no ad.

Breaks in play. We've also got the rabbit Os versus the Sharks.

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It is in four K and it's exclusive to Fox League, available on KO.

And let's not forget about the afl ash. We do have a great game fierce rivals the beautiful Brisbane Lines versus Melbourne going to face off to start Round six and GWS come up against a good challenge against Saint Kilda as they fight to stay in the top eight right now.

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And before we go a little reminded as well that we do have sun Corp supernet Ball the ss N.

I've been lately, have you?

Have you? I could see you playing netball.

I love how it's these sports that's like you grew up with playing in the winter and watching you know, your sisters or your cousins or your family members playing netball. Now you can watch it on TV.

It's great.

I can't wait till Marley and Lola get to enjoy netball.

Make sure they cut their nails. It's one thing I know.

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Where do I start? Matt, Where do I start?

And actually you might relate to this because you have two girls. I have one toilets in public. Okay, now hear me out yeah. I was at the shops with Macy and Oscar was after kindy. I thought I do April of favor and get him out of the house so she could get the house in order right.

Take them down to the shop.

There's a little playground at the shop there, right near a bathroom. Oscar goes and needs we. I'm like, sweet, no worries, and because it's just me, I've got to take all the kids. I can't leave it to an a half year old just in the playground on their own. I've got to pack the whole fm up and go to the bathroom. And thankfully, shopping says, I have the kids kids room, beautiful. We come out, Macy takes off into the women's bathroom. Now I don't know if you've noticed me, did she?

But I'm oh, Mazi, I've got to come and collect You's like, what are you doing? Has anyone seen my daughter?

And I don't know if you know this man, but I am a man, not a woman.

Hang on a second, shocker.

I had my suspicions, yes, and my first thought is fuck, I got to chase Macy. But then I saw that there's a big women's sign. My first nature thought is what do I do here? And it's very busy. It's those afternoon before a long weekend, so there's people getting their ship for the weekend together.

Makes she's taken off.

I've just gone in dilemma.

She's running a mark in these women's bathroom. You can hear it, and I'm like hello, and I hear this.

Whose kids this? I was just like, oh fuck, so I'm in the bathroom.

Okay, hang on, are is Oscar on your hip?

Oscar's grid behind me in toe.

A child on your hip is the best sign of like I'm not a threat to anyone.

Oscar was like really close in time, and I was actually I actually used.

Oscar as the sacrificial lamb. I was like, go and find your sister.

It's like, Bro, I'm four.

He's like, this is you problem? Bro, I'm going back to the playground. I'm old enough. I did go into a point where you could see like the way they wash where they washed their head, like it's a zoo where people where women wash their hands.

And I was like, this is as far as like a go.

She's taken off into this into the stalls somewhere, and I'm like to Oscar, my go find it to the point where I was like, I was like, God.

Find your sister. And then I think the me raising my voice at my child. Someone was like, you.

Don't want to start shouting. You don't want to be a man shouting in the woman's toilet.

Someone was like, is this yours?

And it was amazing, and I was like, thank god she'd gone all the way to the end. But I was staring down the barrel of like, am I going to have to check all the stalls in a women's bathroom? And thankfully not, but Oscar did have to do a couple of laps up and down.

But not having I think you're well in your right.

I didn't know. It's never happened to come in.

And be like, I'm a dad. Don't be threatened by.

My liken like an ID.

Like you know when you go to a crime scene and you're like Matt Johnson, FBI Dad Badge.

I could be like, I am ash Dad Badge.

I am not a sexual predator. Do not be alarmed by my presence. And here, Dad Badge, continue your pisses and ships. I am looking for a daughter.

By the way, it stinks in here.

Do you remember being a youngster and I don't know if you ever went to like after school care and you go into girls toilets and it was just a different world. It was like being on another planet.

Yeah, they had music.

It was so much nicer. Yeah, we were a bit like I want to I wouldn't mind getting comfy in here. Yeah it was.

Yeah, I did talk a ship.

No, but it was like I'd never I'd never experienced that situation before. I don't don't know how many of the listeners have had that happen to them.

But you don't know what the etiquette is.

That's what I'm trying to I know that this will not be allowed this one.

You can't jerk off in their matter.

A man can dream.

It's like dad bad, where are you kids? Why are you sweating? No?

I think it's be allowed. My biggest gripe, m m ash.

It's not your biggest gripe.

I've never opened up about this before.

You've got a fear of women's baths.

It sucks having to take my girls into a men's bathroom.

When there's no option for the kids room.

There's no kids room, and men's bathrooms are disgusting. That place. That place is how.

Can I suggest something to you disabled?

I encourage it, please, And this is what.

It's frowned upon because you're enabled bodied man.

I don't know what the rule is here, but like, if I'm with both girls and I'm traveling solo, you're disabled, I'm taking them into the disabled toilet and I'm being quick, I'm being efficient, I'm not mucking about.

It's like you come out there and there's a double ampt.

On the ground.

Excuse me.

It sucks when you go into a bathroom and like, I'm yet to go into a men's cubicle with my daughters and they're not be like, piss all over the toilet set piss on the floor. The guy next to us is going. It also sucks to shut up ash.

It also sucks to be part of the problem too, though, doesn't it?

Oh?

Yeah, Like is this is this how we're represented?

But I just I wish there was there was more parent specific bathrooms out there. I often have to say to Laura, I'm not taking Lola or Marley into the men's bath.

If we start a political party, which very likely it will be, our main policy will be more parent bedrooms.

You heard it you first, bedrooms or bathrooms both?

Sorry I got confused there, I got confused. We need public naps as well.

Let's come, let's have bedrooms just everywhere, just parent bedrooms and them.

Yeah, that's a hotel and they are in fact open to the public. Anyway.

I don't have a job, so public clu that don't really matter to me.

This is my job.

I could do it whenever. I can do it on the silight. Now, Oscar gave himself a black eye.

He fell down the stairs, that old chestnut.

He ran into a doorknob.

He gave himself.

He gave himself a black eye. Now it's the stupid Stop winking at me, you freak. This is legit. Okay, we could lose his eye.

Ship.

We're gonna have to. We're gonna have to scrap this story.

Go on.

I'm gonna have child Services banging.

On the door.

Sure, that's how it happened. This is how it happened. It's stupid how it happens. And he did it to himself wink, No he did. I can't get through it. I got a photo. I'll show you the photo. Here's the photo.

It's up there.

Here's the photo. It's not that bad.

Sorry. Sorry, we're winking at.

Each other, looking at you know, this is audio.

We can't see the perfection. Y.

They're very over exaggerated to just like it's like a whole body where.

You go the head, the head gets into it.

Yeah, so he gave himself a black eye.

Look a look at you.

So I'm downstairs, April's upstairs, Macy's downstairs with me. I was as far away from him as possible.

I didn't give him a black I'm sweating. I'm over here. I'm sweating.

I'm downstairs, April's upstairs. Oscar's jumping on the bed, which I don't mind if he's jumping in the bed as long as I have shoes on.

That's not on. He's jumping on the bed.

He's doing He's at the age where he's like, wants to do heaps of park Yes, that's the word I'm looking for. He wants to do heaps of parkour and stuff like that.

And he doesn't know what park is, but he's doing his version of it. Kids, and I love flipping around on the bed.

And you know, I often think like being that small would be so cool, so easy, so easy, to be jumping around on a big, king sized bed like lovely love that, and then I hear like a bellowing scream, knee to the eye, need himself in the eye.

I've been there, and I was like, how did.

You manage that?

First of all, jealous of the flexibility, so he's giving himself a black eye.

Right before we had to go to a kid's party.

Questions for flying people were like, oh God, what's happened.

Do you know how many people had to explain that I scatter black eye?

Do you think you were being investigated?

Well, I think the first person asked me, I said, I punched him, so everyone else had to ask me to But there was a joke, was a joke that was a blatant joke.

Have your kids ever done? Yeah?

You know what? A tumble can just derail the day at any point.

Morning you wanted to happen in the afternoon, for sure, it happens in the morning.

I don't want it to happen at all, ash because I don't want to hurt my kids. Sorry, keep winking, But I often, especially when I'm cooking dinner now that I'm a single parent, I'm in the kitchen and I'm turning around to go to the stovetop and Lula's come up to get a snack a bumper off, and she.

Goes, what does she hate you?

My kids are yet to give themselves any kind of serious.

But the saddest part was he was so upset. Black eyes hurt. It's also very visual. It's a visual injury. He was so concerned about being teased for it. Man, that's what he was like. And I was like, nah, dude, people going to.

Think you're really cool.

He is a handsome young man.

But he was more concerned, and he was like, has it gone yet? Has it gone away yet? Like literally every ten minutes.

No one's going to mass with Oscar. No, especially the way that he finds yes, which.

I have experienced first first hand.

I want to quickly show you something that I've purchased. Oh, yes, has made me feel more masculine than any other purchase of recent months.

If I make you finally got that butt poke, let me just get prepared for what's going to be unveiled. Oh that sounded so good, isn't it good? So many men have erections, isn't it good?

Women's women don't get it.

I don't think they get it.

He listened to that all day.

It might not look like much how you use it, and it's weird how something so small can fill you with so much power.

That's what she said.

The fence had a few palings that had fallen off, and so I wasn't going to say anything people, you know, the house was falling apart. So I picked up that little drill. I drilled in the three pailings that had fallen off. I felt like I was unstoppable.

Did you jerk off? After?

I couldn't even finish the last paling without jerking off. I was Laura was like, wonder how Matt's going in the backyard, just sitting there with the drill, fullball the full four vaults.

Really tearing the skin off the top of it.

I was thinking about paying someone to come and fix the fence, and I'm so glad that I didn't. I'm so glad that I had the initiative. Went out to Bunnings, got the field, fix the fence, and I was like, now you have a drill.

I don't even have a drill, dude, And so how much was it?

It was like sixty bucks of them. But then I guess I was in this this high, a drill high, if you will.

My judgment was very clown, nothing like that feeling I was.

I was thinking that there was nothing I couldn't fix for it, and I came down pretty hard after that. The car had been parked underneath a tree which had very like it was. Yeah, the sap it was and so annoying covered in it. Went to the car wash, like it's going to cost three hundred bucks to get all that off the car.

You're like, do you know why I own a drill? I was like, excuse me, that's not now. They're like, whoa three dollars?

I was like, you know what, I'm going to do this myself. So came back home, tried to scrub it off with my finger and a cloth. Oh, it didn't work, And I said, what would a would a guy with a drill do?

Drill it off?

I did something should didn't use the drill. I used the dishwashing scrub.

Up the green.

I've completely fucked the car. Oh. I washed it and when when it was still wet, the car was great because the car was clean. It was listening as it dried. There's just scrubby I.

Know, I know you've done it, and I'm going to tell you a story of me and my youth, very youthful that I've just remembered. As a child, we decided to wash cars to get to a little bit of money. At one particular house, we were washing the car. Didn't realize that I was using a green sponge on someone else's car. Yes, ah, it's safe to say he didn't

We all did very quickly.

And the car wash business shut down pretty much immediately. We all had to get disguises because it was in the local neighborhood.

I mean, the only difference is you're twelve and I'm thirty six. I'm still learning you are. I'm not afraid you are saying it's beautiful, and he's listening.

Sucked in Matt Meltdowns, Let's get into.

It's the fun Fine. This is a segment where parents send in their child's meltdowns in the idea.

One of my favorite segments off this podcast.

It has been going for a little while there.

Maybe it's time for a change. We do have a lot of people asking for line tell me lies.

We had an idea the other day, really quickly about lies that you've told about to.

Get your kids into things. Yes, which, let's workshop that.

Do you know what I do want to do though your you did it on your stories. The petty things you do to your partner.

Oh yes, I'd like to. Okay, do that next week, next week? All right.

If you've got anything petty that you do to your partner or your partner does to you, it is out of spit, nothing too crazy. I don't want to like running over the car when he upsets me. I don't want that ship.

I want the little things like, for example.

My wife and I had a disagreement and I made my half of the bed and didn't make her half.

I've got a list of things that I love that I'm going to do it.

I love a couple's tips, I love a bit of next week anyway, okay to get on with not to wrap you up.

You literally just exit music me okay. So this one comes from Rebecca Rosebeca. Hi, Rebecca, how are you?

My three year old had a full meltdown because I don't wear a nappy to bed like he does.

Lolan onrmally has melt down about wearing a nappy, like I need to wear an appy and I'm like, you piss yourself every night. You need to wear that na I'm not.

I'm good every morning. He's like, check my nappy, there's nothing in it. Br that thing's full.

Okay. This one is from Scuba Chez. That can't be real, she says. My four year old granddaughter came home from daycare and told her mum that a kid was saying the F word and that the teachers said the F word is bad. My daughter felt like a great parent and then went on to get dinner ready. My four year old granddaughter walked back into the kitchen and said, Mommy, where is my fucking tennis racket?

I love it when.

Swear Hey, list of questions we do. Also, I want to take this opportunity to say, if you are a parent out there, please send us through any questions that you may have. Maybe you just want to get the perspective of a dad to tackle a tough subject that you're too afraid to ask. Your friends, your peers, your family members.

Yeah, ask a stranger.

That seems like the most plausible if you like anonymous.

Yeah, you don't have to put your name. And this one here is from Dharia Daria.

She asked, diarrhea.

What's one thing you wish your wife understood more.

I would like my wife to understand that what I do for a job is not all fun and games. It might look like that from the outside, but sometimes she's made snoggy little comments, like you know, it's like, I'm like, Okay, I got to go to mat Town.

She's like, oh, you're going to go to matow.

I guess we are just having a chat drink, having a drink.

Yeah, Like when we went on a cruise that was work. She came, but I'm like, I've got to.

Leave you with the kids to go off and zip line. We're not for fun. I promise I won't have any fun. Meanwhile, but she gave me attitude. She was like oh, and I was like.

Babe, this is my job. It might look like I'm just a bit a tom foolery.

Because it is. It is well depart from what.

I did twelve months ago. Be miserable like the rest of us.

If she's listening, which she will be. I'm better to say this very delicately. Just relax, Bra.

Mine's also work related for Laura. I think it comes from the fact that a few reasons to unpack Laura A.

A.

We're going to go through the whole alphabet, or we just.

I'll get three points at gay. Growing up, she didn't have a lot of money. They were definitely not born with silver spoons in their mouths, right, as was I one of five single parent and and so I think you've always had a bit of like a save mentality in terms of like trying to like, you know, when there's money, you got to do whatever you can to

You can't get rid of you.

People have tried. But I think there is that there is that fear of like literally you're like cot coroach j. There is that fear of, well, soon my time will be done.

Not if I can help it, Matt. That's why not if I can help it.

That's why I partnered with you. But I think Laura is very much like, if I don't say yes to this opportunity, who knows when the opportunities will dry up. And even though she's working such an insane amount, you know, she's taking on so many jobs. I remember when they asked, she was asked to do Dancing with the Stars, and I was thinking, I was stressed out. You're clearly going to say no, and she was like, well, you know, who knows when I get asked again, which is true.

You slow down, Smell the roses a little bit.

Smell the roses.

Are you thankful that it's Britt in the jungle and not Laura?

Yeah?

Oh my god, one.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean I'm losing Laura for a week in Bali and I'm like, oh.

So you'd like her to just drop it back a gear when it's time to drop it back a gear.

Which is right now. For the last three years we've been working, especially.

La, I've only really been around it for like, you know, like eighteen months. Call it and it's pretty turbo. I will say, it's crazy.

Yeh, it's crazy. And you know what it's like when you're tired, when you're exhausted.

All the time.

Yeah, it's like, let's like go into semi retirement. Let's fade away.

Let's fade away, let's run let's run away. Now now you're talking.

But that's what I wish she had said more of.

And I think that's fair.

She's getting better.

That's good man. I have a question for you. Oh he's a really good one.

Man.

You've got two girls, Like I said, I've got a boy, which.

Is going to be you know, you cut boy's hair much more, I would, I would think.

I agree with you. We've never cut Lola's hair. She's three. She never had a haircut, not once. Marley had a little phase where she went through having a fringe that was self cut. How to cut Oscar's hair.

Well, we went through phases of cutting Oscar's hair. The first time when I said we should cut your hair and he'd never had it before, he was really excited. Oh, it's an experience, experience, until I got the clippers out, the noises.

And he was.

And I was like, look, touched on his hand, doesn't hurt. Hurt.

Although I have cut my ball seck a number of times.

The skin down there is unforgiving. But then what he really hated was the feeling of hair falling onto his neck to the point it scared the shit out of him. So it took me another two years to get him cut his hair again, to the point where I was like, you look like no one owns you.

I need to cut your hair.

So I went to the next phase, which was to pin him down like I was shearing a sheep, okay.

Which I'm sure went down and swimmingly. Yeah.

Then I went to bribery, where I bribed him for like a really big fucking toy just so that I could trim the sides a bit. But then he's cottoned onto the fact that if he gets a haircut, he gets a toy. So now he's coming to me every second day going I think I need a haircut, and I'm like, I don't think you do. If I cut anymore off, we're going in the scale. I think he's getting better at it, but like, honestly, they don't understand that.

They don't understand how to steal.

They're like, well, I'm at the point now. Marley actually asked. She's like, can I cut my own hair? And I was like sure, And she was about to cut.

Off, and I was like, what are you doing?

And she's like, I'm getting a haircut. She's never had like a proper, proper haircut. She's only had like the ends taken up.

Because they get their nails done. But she'd probably love it.

She went and took her Yeah, I'm excited. I'm excited. I don't know if she understands that once it's gone, it's not coming back for a long time.

Also, Macie all of a sudden has like hair down her back, not on her back.

Yeah, I was thinking work quite hairy.

Anyway, Oscar bribery gets him through, that's my answer.

Perfect.

We took the Sceny groute, but We're there.

If you ever enjoyed this episode, any episode of two Doating Dads, we would love it if you would send it to any other people out there, parents specifically, but even non parents. Definitely not pet parents.

Oh fuck them, but everybody else.

Please share the love. Yes, because we love love. That's Laura's life on cut that's their ending.

Sorry Okay, we just ripped that right off.

We love love more, we we love parenting.

But if you would give us any type of review, could be Spotify, could bee Apple podcasts? There have been There.

Are no death threats. They were actually sick of them.

It was Can I just really quickly just read you the last review that we've got. If anyone doesn't like the pot right now, they may be listening for the first time. Stick with it because honestly hated this pod to start with, and now I love it. Very easy listening and very funny. Please keep the ebbs coming, legends.

What did you hate about it?

No need to say you hated it? Like that's it?

Nah, I like it. I like your honesty.

You guys were pieces of shit to start with, but now I like you.

That's a win. I'm getting out.

You can go we'll see next week.

See Buddy.

N I get it, I get it, I get it, fine, get it, I got it Fie. Two Doting Dads podcast acknowledges the traditional custodians of country throughout Australia and the connections to land, sea and community.

We pay our respects to their elders past and present and extend that respect to all Aboriginal and Torrestraight Islander peoples today.

This episode was recorded on Gadagal Land