#54 Elevator Phobia, Fart Bombing And Butter Heaven

So I packed up that black bag had the beers in one hand. The black bag had the two ring lights sticking out, and I was like pacing down the stairs and this guy standing there and he's just like, I got to have some fun.

You're like, what of it? I'm an only fans model.

Okay, Welcome back to two doting dads. I am Maddie Jay and I'm Ash And this is a podcast that's all about parenting. It's a good, the.

Bad, and the relatable.

And as I look out Ash to the horizon across the vast ocean.

And I were upstairs before and I was like, it's windy. It's like and then I look around It's like we're in the middle of the fucking ocean. So no shit, it's windy.

They are coming to you from a cruise.

Matt and I had a holiday with just ask but then we've decided to take our families on a holiday to see how that would go.

Yes, and so far, well, we'll get we'll get into it. Oh my god, do you know what that is?

Oh my god? Just for reference those listening, that's the buzzer from the Kids Club to alert Matthew his children are in danger.

Let me just I'll call my mom.

This is great, they couldn't have happened.

I'll just call Ali and just tell her that the kids need picking up. Fucking And the thing about my mum is that she never answers her phone, or.

She answers it but startled she's like, oh, it's really hello, Oh my god.

The other day, whilst on the ship, I was saying, like we had to go do a zip line. I was like, marm it's booked in. I need I need you to come to the kids. And she has the ability to take her phone off Wi Fi and obviously we're at sea, so yeah, you don't have any reception.

You got to call it like every now and then. Like it's like when they reached out the router.

Yeah, and she's, oh, my goodness, you've answered. I I didn't think you'd pick up Oh goscha.

Also, for reference, we brought our parents along with us. What could go wrong.

I'm just letting you know that the kids club PAGA has gone off, which means that someone well, yeah, that's okay, I think I think so. They just they said if there's anything that you need, anything with the kids that they need you to come and pick them up. It'll go off and it's just gone off.

Where is shit? Oh shit, you can't make this ship up?

Okay? Fuck? What can you? Can you? Kids?

Club?

Can you go ask? It's better if you just ask someone. I could explain it. And it's just better if you grab someone who works on the boat, ask for instructions and they'll help you. It'd be so much easy.

Find the captain and ask him.

Don't just know look, just tell me what level.

And I'll find it.

Fifteen at the back of the boat. She just hung off with me.

Oh oh god, that's great. Yes, so we did. We look on top of going on holidays with family, and we did. We we have merged two families together. We also brought our parents along with us for help, really, so that we can do things and they can help mind the kids. But I feel like they don't. They never take it upon themselves be like, oh mind them. They're like, you're waiting for us to be like, can you mind them?

And I look, I know that my mom is seventy odd. I don't know exactly how old she's great settle down seventy two, I think, I think, And in I said seventy three, you asshole, She nodded politely, likes, she's definitely not seventy three.

A lot of experience, you can.

I just say, I need to stop floating with my mom and in front of April as well.

Oh it's all a bit of fun. Ooh we touch knees.

Yeah, my mom. I love her to death too, absolutely love her. Laura is not on this trip. Yeah, Laura's missing. She's back in Sydney. She's working hard, and I forget that she's not fifty. In my mind, she's still like a young mom, Like she's you know.

Yeah, she's like she's pretty sprightly.

Yeah she looks great.

You said that.

But you know there's things like getting to the airport. Were running a bit late, as you normally are with kids, and when you got to move quickly, and you know, I'm there like throwing bags in the car and I'm like Miley and Lawler in the car and I turn around. Her Mom's just like.

Did did in like slow mo? Now before you hang on, hang on, tell me about your mum's slowness. We have to acknowledge our partners, yes, and also we are on the Pacific Ocean, so it is telling that we are drinking a Stonewood Pacific Ale.

Is this the Pacific Ocean?

Let's just say this is it? And blue?

I know it's the Coral Sea. I had a look on maps yesterday. It's it's a specific, isn't it. This is the Pacific. It has to be because Barron Bay.

It's a specific ocean.

Let's just go with that, because Barron Bay. That's that's on that. Yeah, yeah, let's it's the Pacific Ocean.

And we are drinking Pacific Ale of course, born in Byron Bay. It is Barron Bay in a bottle. It's got lovely fruity after tons. There's Galaxy Hops Matt all the way.

From Tasmania, ash much if you know that. But that is what gives the beer. It's big tropical fruit aromas and flavors and makes it, I believe, so refreshing.

I know they just make great beer. They know how to do it. So we'd like to thank Stone and Wood once again, and the specific ocean.

You know, there's certain environments I think that make beer taste better.

Chips is one of them.

Yeah, And I think I think when you're on the Pacific Ocean drinking a pacific ale. The stars are aligned, they are alianed, and it's bloody delicious.

Absolutely so Cheers successfully smuggled stone Woods into another vessel.

Question for you, ask what is your opinion on boarding planes? How do you do it? Because there's I feel.

Like they usually walk on? How are you getting on there? What do you mean with kids?

I roll? You roll on? No, So there's there's two opinions on how to correctly board a plane with kids.

With kids, okay, so you just get on, you just get on without them, simple, far far away Ashbury kids.

I left them behind. You got two spare seats next to you, don't I'm flying the right way.

Yeah.

Option one is so you're flying with April, you got your two kids, you're all board together.

There's more than just that.

Option Option two is you board first, or April boards first with all of the bags right, so then she gets on there, she gets space in the overhead lockers, and then the other parent boards last with the kids.

That's fucking genius. I didn't even think about that.

Okay, do you reckon?

Is that?

Look?

Honestly, I do the first option because I didn't know there was more than one option. I thought you just get on the plane with you kids, and they fucking carry on up the aisle all the way there.

I thought, I don't mind just getting him on the seat, whipping out the iPad and just get them.

Then get the bags up in the air.

Stuck in them. Yeah, so you're yeah, you're.

Like me, all at once, sit down, shut up, put your seat belt. I put the seat belt on so tight. The come move yeah, cart breathe. So that's option three. The third option, you pin them down. You're essentially you essentially locked them in. But I like that second option. Who gave you that one? I read it online. People online are doing it. That's clever. I think that's Look, it's more time consuming.

I just think to split the team up. To me, that's dangerous.

Well, you split the team up, hopefully they don't get on. Yeah, just like going on a cruise on my own.

You know when you're sitting there and you row like three seats and you've got the window, and you're just praying that the two other people aren't sitting there. Yeah, it's like that with your family first and they're like, and that's all our passengers on board, and you're like.

Yeah, yeah, then you just like to put your phone on flight and you're uncomtactable for the whole flight. But also when you take kids on a plane, you automatically have given up the window seat for the rest of your lives because you're not gonna put them on the outside. You're not gonna be like, move over, bitch, I want the window. You've got to like trap them in as well. But then it's like you miss out on the window seat for the rest of the time.

Marley was the aisle, And the issue with the aisle is actually like get up, let her foots out, like she leads the foot.

Yeah, and when that trolley comes up.

Yeah that don't take it for no one taking a leg off, that's for sure. But yeah, it was. It was. It was an ordeal on the on the floor, always is. I had three kids, Lola, Ellie, my mum. But we got here in one piece.

And you came up on this this fine holiday the day of kind of pretty fine. Yeah, it was a stressful morning, but I did the day before because I was like, let's just get them up there.

You fucking nailed that.

Oh killed. Now we were relaxed. You came up and you were like, my kids have an agent nineteen hours. They've been up since yesterday. It's an hour flight where.

My alarm went off at like four point thirty in the morning, and I was like, fuck, damn you ash Ash right now, I was fastest in his service department in Brisbane.

Oh, it was beautiful Brisbane CBD. And this is the thing, like, whenever we go on holidays with the kids, it's never to a CBD. Let's be honest, why would you take the kids to a CB beach unless you're trying to get him employed. But Osco had never stayed at night in a CBD essentially, and we had some time to kill and like you, who was like trying to get there as quickly as possible. We went for a walk through Brisbane CBD. Okay, which is lovely. That's got is it? No? No,

Give me a street Roma, Oh I know Rama sorry.

Yeah, And there's like a little ark reserve there.

This is my hometown. We're talking about my way, so I can shit on Brisbane.

I love Brisbane. I really think it's just missing a real beach.

Yeah, it's a South bank. It's more like a steward where the homeless go to wash themselves.

Is that why? It tasted like?

Yeah?

And speaking of homeless people, right, we were looking for like a playground for the kids to just burn off a bit of steam before we moved on to the next journey, as you will. And we found the park on Roma Street and I was like, okay, surely there's a big green parky, there's got to be a playground. So we went for a walk and ask yours like what what I would play on that? And pointed over there and there was a small community of tents homeless

Like pissing yourself as a red choice.

It's more like hitting another child.

That's a red choice.

Red choice. April was trying to explain to Oscar how not to be homeless using the red choice, using the red choice in the green choice, and other parents have told us out there will understand exactly this. Oscar couldn't quite wrap his head around the meaning of homeless. They have no home? What do you mean they have no home? Get on, get one.

Couldn't spoken like a true boomer. Yeah, just get a choice, just.

Back in my day fifty cents. April was trying to explain to him what homeless meant. So first of all, couldn't work that out. And then she was like, now here's how not to be homeless.

For anyone out there who may be on the brink of being homeless.

Listen in let me help you out, April Star. Don't make any red choices, Okay, okay. And he was like, what do you mean by red choices? And I'm like, yeah, April, do you mean by red choices? Well, She's like, they made a lot of red choices. I was like, don't profile them all. And I was just like, fuck are you usually talking about She's like, you make green choices. I'm like, but what if green choices end up you end up homeless? And she was just like, stop confusing,

Get him into scantactics. Yeah, which I think is clever.

Yes, and you won't be homeless. I'm like, don't promise him that first of all. But then we get to the end of conversation. He was like, so, what do you mean they homeless? And I was like, oh.

At this point with the homeless people being like.

Do you mind, it was like we're trying to sleep in the middle of the day here, and I was like, I was like, all it means, Oscar is they live in a tent. And he was like, oh okay. I'm like, and you can't play on their tent. But then I was like, he's like that sounds pretty good. No, But I was like, but when you grow up, when you get older, you only use tents when you go camping. That's what you want to do. He guys, oh, I get it, and I looked open.

I'm like, see simple, it's good to expose him to the big world out there.

Yeah, he was a bit rattled, but then he was also more rattled at April trying to explain it to him and try and make it a teaching discipline way, just trying to have group too many things into the poor toddler's brain at once.

Yeah, poor old Oscar.

He is a bit confused.

He's a bit confused.

But also with holidays in Oscar, he's got an irrational fear of elevators because of April. No, this is someone else's doing. And everywhere you go when you go on holidays, there's elevators, right, you go to resort or you go for example, we're on a cruise ship now elevators, but we were staying on the sixty sixth floor in Brisbane, quite high. He did not want to get in that elevator. He's really putting on a brave face on here. You've seen him when we all go to get into an elevator.

He must fucking hate holidays. He's like especially on the ship because it's like to get anywhere you gotta get. He's having a terrible time.

Yes, he's traumatize from the lift.

And then Maddie, j hang on a second, let me just let me just defend myself before you start like pigeonholing.

You traumatize my offspring.

It was interesting us all coming together because we've never really spent that much time with each other's kids. It's always like we finished a record at one of our they come home from daycare, We hey, how are you? And then we're out the door. That's it. Yeah, that's like maybe five ten minutes at the most.

Yeah.

Actually, the Lola's birthday with the first time we spent some time.

Alic is there.

But we're all hanging out together. Everyone's being very pleasant. I'm working hard to show your kids that I'm a good guy. And I had running races with Oscar you did, and he was loving it, Yeah, loving me.

Yeah.

I would go as far as to say yeah, I.

Would say I would say the same. I would agree the foundaly really getting on like buddies.

The foundation of our relationship was rock solid, So you could fucking put a high rise on that.

Agree.

More so in my mind we were in a great place.

Yeah, yeah, you thought wrong, my friend. Okay, I've come down to Maddie Jay's room with Oscar for some I can't remember what it was for to pick up a charge or something. Yes, and the door instantly the door was open, already open, shocked open, and I can already smell fat.

I farted. Yes, I did a big fart and ash and I joked of like that's things. Don't come into the room because the fart's right there.

And I was like, I'm not coming in.

And I looked at Oscar and he had a smile on his face. He was looking at me. He goes in my mind, he's looking at me in the way that someone looks at like a friend they've been reunited with for the first time. And so I thought it would be funny to bend down, grab him and bring him into the room, abduct him into.

The in a force of like forcing your stench onto him. That's what it was.

And my kids are in the room as well. It's like, it's not like it's you know, it's not that bad. My girls are there and they're kind of like.

They passed out on the ground from the stench.

As I drag Oscar in, drags the wrong word. As I lift him.

As I take Oscar in, he starts kicking. He fought pretty hard.

I thought it was a joke. Nope, he starts upper cutting me. I like put him on the bed and he starts like trying to scratch.

My eyes out, and then he started kicking, started kicking, and then he jumped off the bed.

It was beating the ship out of me.

And then he jumped off the bed, ran back down the hallway to me at the door, completely bypassed me, ran all the way up, all the way to the other end of the boat, up the hallway, screaming like and I looked back in the room and there's a sheepish Mattie daylight, and he just goes.

I thought we were there.

I was like, obviously not.

You loved it.

I thought it was hilarious shit, And then.

I was I'm just undone, like so much. Two days he.

Gave my heartfelt apology.

I didn't think he were two days later that I was, and we had that. We had that day trip where at Ellie Beach every two seconds, I was like, hell, I love your shirt, Oscar. That's a great shirt. I brought him, man, I brought him snacks. I was like, you want a chocolate coming here in the bathroom.

I've got puppies in my room and I we're not.

It's never been the same since its ever.

You get back, You'll get back there, You'll get back.

Actually, we turned a corner this morning, did you because the kids had pancakes, maple syrup everywhere. Nightmare. Everyone's sticky from the pancakes. Yes. And I took my Ley to wash her hands and he came with, Oh.

That's right, he's he's not as scared of you, So do it again, try again, I would say, Ash.

I feel like if there was one person who I didn't have to remind that footy season has started, it is yourself. But to everyone else out there who may not be aware, we're back.

Baby, You're back. You are, Yes, you are.

I just have to say, Broncos that last game, wasn't it unbelievable?

Yes, they did beat the Rabbits twenty eight eighteen.

Could you just be a bit more excited that my team got their first win of the twenty twenty four season.

Congratulations?

That was so forth, I know, but yes, Matt.

Both NRL and AFL seasons are well underway and you can watch every game of every round live on KO with no ad breaks during play. Now this week, a couple of call outs. We have a Grand Final rematch. Okay, come on, Panthers and the Broncos. Can they come back? Can they win and beat the Panthers back to last year's funeral?

Moving on a second, what do you mean can they win when they win the rematch?

Oh? Yes, okay?

Can you just come on, I pretend to like Manly anyway?

I have Chippendris for that game, and coming up Super Saturday, of course, three games back to back which are all exclusive of Fox League that are available on KO.

And with the AFL, let's not forget this Hawthorne versus Melbourne that's going to be on Saturday, and then we have Richmond versus Adelaide on the Sunday.

Beautiful and also, Matt, coming up this weekend is the Formula One Grand Prix and you can watch every session line in four K, whoa, four K the detail is so clear.

I love how you got a surprise talking to you and in four K did you say four K? Yeah, that's in full whoa.

The detail is so clear, it's like your driving laps ash.

It will be remiss of me not to give a shout out to Danny Ricardo, who is of course battling it out on his home ground for points.

Come on, Danny, Yes, we will do a shoey for you in honor win lose. Do you draw in race? And if you knew to Ko, get on board today start your free trial. We have a link in our bio. Go on, treat yourself four K. One of your kids did something that I thought was I had a chuckle a chuckle. What happened yesterday? We were at breakfasts and I'm enjoying my breakfast and as you do, and I hear you say, Lola, no more butter, and I was like, I was like, oh, I must be on a toast

She fucking loves butter, and this is heaven for her because where we have breakfast as soon as you sit down on the table forks crockery butter and a big bowl of butter, and the waight is like, can I get your orders please? And I was like, no, I'm good.

You've already had my breakfast out for me right here.

And she just she fucking went through three knobs.

I know, I'll sit next with this morning, and I like, I like, sneakly slap on out of her hand. That's enough for you, mate, And then I've stepped on it. I slid through my slide. But also what she did she had greasy, oily, buttery hands, and she looked at me, looked at my shirt and then she just got her hand and smeared it down my shirt like I was an old fucking napkin.

I apologize. Lola is interesting like that, she's an interesting cat. Marley warmed you straight away.

Mary, Yeah, straight away. We had a little curl. Yes that was really nice, but like also with Lola, Like I said, you've told me so many stories about Lola, and then I haven't spent an extended amount of time with you, and now I sympathize with you. She's a rule breaker.

She's a tolf one to work out.

She is the type of kid that you say, don't do that, she'll go and do it and look at you while she's doing it, and then explain to you that she's doing what you told to do. And you're like, she's really good at like gaslighting you everyone and it's not just you, because you're like for weeks like she hates me. I think she secretly hates everybody except for Laura.

Except except for Laura.

So the other day, first day on the trip, we're having little cuddles. Great, She's like, I love you as I was like, that's great, I love that. And five minutes later I was like, do you want a couple of me? She's like no. I was like, oh fuck. And then yesterday she goes, I want to sit next to you. Ass We're on the bus on the island, so I want to sit next to you. I'm like, oh, you want to sit next to me? She's like, no, just fucking off off the bus.

She then she sits next to you and she starts wiping her handle and she's like, that's what I needed.

She say she only sat next to me this morning because I made her.

I was like, sit there, she's been She's been great with me. Yeah, she's been great with me because she always needs to have like someone that's on her side. That's me. I'm the enabler now for all of her behavior, but she fucking hates everyone else. For example, Nana like she was struggling with their swimmers. I was putting Marley getting Maley ready for the pool, and Nana just goes, oh, you've just got to let me help put your feet

She was like what I oh, she used to dude, I want kid her. And Marley is so opposite it's wild. And then there's you've got Oscar in the middle of these two girls trying to work out which one he really should be hanging out with.

It's funny, dude, breakfast there he's with Marley lunchtime is with Lola, and I'm like.

Fun, we're playing the field this kid.

Yeah, he's just like Meanwhile, I'm like working out when to abductim next, Paul. Kid's confused.

I yesterday, Lola. I could tell she's just a bit hard work for you. A few times, then she has a nap, right, and then she's cranky again, and then all of a sudden, she's full of beans the whole night. Like I left dinner early because Macy fell asleep at the table, and then like when I did leave you, she was she was bouncing. It was like seven, seven o'clock, and then I had to sit in the room and wait for April to come back with Oscar and then

No, she was up till like nine o'clock last night.

Oh fuck yeah, yeah, she'd have taken to the white party.

No, I had to be I was looking after Mali. But I think overall, going on holidays with other people, it's a real roll of the dice. Yeah, because it's one thing to get along with someone like individually, it's another thing to like have your families combined.

Oh and especially the kids, they like they egg each other on. Like one will be like I want this, then one will be like I want that.

But I think it's been pretty good.

Yeah, there was only like there's just been the odd individual meltdown collective standard.

Yeah, but also I'm trying my best to be what.

Do you mean, like it's a scream at the Yeah, I don't. There's been a couple of like meltdowns like yes they went Lola melt down the line and you had your hands full mild and I was like, dropped aples bag. I'm like, I'm picking this fucking kid. I don't give a ship if she punches me out, and like she was like like flailing around and I was like, oh my god.

And the reason why it's worked, I think is because we've got we've both got similar styles of parenting. We try and lay down the rules when we need to lay down the rules like. It's an example example of like where all the parents had united front. Because the kids, our kids are pretty similar, all bad eaters. You got to like sit down, like individually, feed every nugget into their mouth. It's painful.

There's a bit of mashed potato on that one. Shut the fuck up and just shove it in your gob and leave me the fuck alone.

And an Oscar wasn't eating last night.

Oh yeah, he didn't want to bar it.

And so you went and took Macie into bed and he was he had like a full plate and he was like, oh on ice cream. And April was like, you're not getting ice cream? And then my kids were like are we getting ice cream? And I'm like, no one's getting ice cream, and I missed it. Oscar flipped. He was like ah he was. He was the same as when I tried to bring him into the room and I was like, I know that's cream. And April goes,

Why don't you to just get married.

I'm thinking about it. So it's worked out well.

I think my parenting style is more of camp leader. I'm like come on, and then I'm like stop, come on, stop, don't touch that. I do this thing. But I don't know if you noticed that I put them like get up against the wall. I've seen that No in the morning before at breakfast, like all right, get up against the wall, and Macy just does what all the other kids doing. I'm like, just like that's where Abe got that photo of them all and I was like, I'm against the wall now and they're all like.

We're like, the kid's having a great time. There's a constant fear of elevators getting against the wall, being dragged into random rooms and we're like, what a great trip.

Because Oscar knows my tone of voice at a certain point, he's like, don't fuck with him because the next tone is way worse, and like yes. They were in line for the boat back and there was the yellow line and I was like, don't go outside the yellow line, and Lowel was like fuck you. And I was like, and she was like stepping was like yellow line. So I stood and I got down onto her level and I was like, don't step out of the yellow line

That's Lola.

I was like, work this kid out.

I'm intrigued to know how it's going to be going back to Sydney and back with Laura because this this is honestly, I'm not trying to be funny. This is the closest up Lola and I have ever been, which is like, I'm fucking loving life right now. Because we're in the We're in the one cabin and she'll wake up in the middle of the night and she's like, come into my bed and we have this cuddle. Like this morning, we woke up at like four o'clock, got

Oh my goodness.

And all I had to do was just like completely remove Laura from the picture. I wish I'd done this sooner.

Sorry Laura, Sorry Laura. But yeah, it's been good. I feel like bringing them together, like the other day, Macy and Marley holding hands. That's great, so good bringing two families together. And it is, of course on a Pinot cruise.

Yeah, we're on the four day cruise by the way, in case anyone does want to do this trip, probably seen art socials and seeing what we've been up to. But we went from Brisbane to wit Sundays and back. Is it the Pacific counter Pacific Encounter. There's also when that goes from Sydney. There's Heat Morton as well.

Heat So you can check out their website. They've got a lot of heaps and heaps and heaps seems we did this one.

We do have a discount code ten percent off if.

You want to book in another cruise, I.

Know we should do it again. Maybe just you and me?

Oh yeah, definitely.

If you want to book this trip and get the ten percent discount, you can use the code two Dads Two Dads. Will put that in the show notes in case you want to use it.

We'll also put a link to the website. Make it a little bit easier for you, step by step. Now that we've spoken about the multiple meltdowns on this ship, let's go to our favorite segment, which is tantrum slash Meltdown of the Week. Cue music.

He's a fine.

All right, manny Jay. So this one's from Alison says, my son just cried and threw his breakfast on the floor because his porridge had oats in it.

Those little assholes.

Oh man, so copy, what do you do?

What do you do with that? Like, honestly, what is still cut?

Oats?

You more like, it's just so hard, isn't it?

You just don't know?

So hard? And as well, five days out of the week they love oats for.

Breakfast, and then they realized that there's oats.

They're like, wait a second, did you try and trick me? What have I been eating?

Oscar this morning. So like had a bottle of milk this morning, but because we don't have a kettle in our room, it was cold, and April gave it to him and he just literally grabbed it dropped it on the ground. Site it's cold.

They are slave mine.

And I saw a funny TikTok the other day and it was like, essentially, you're just your toddler's bitch. Ah, feed me, wash me, bathe me, carry me.

I wouldn't have it any other way though, Live all right. This is from Mattias Mathias Moburgh ohis Moburg. I knew you'd say that.

Pass them bellow.

One evening, my two orders, four and two years old were sitting in the older girl's bed. The older girl was playing on her iPad and the younger one was watching her play. I was in the other room when I started to hear the younger one scream. I told them stop fighting and behave yourselves, well, said, like all good parents do. The screaming went on and on, and so I had to put a stop to it, says Matteas. Just when I passed the threshold of her room, I

Oh my god, that's disgusting.

Also, fuck is.

Wrong with them?

Also, this ship could start sinking, and if the kids are on their phones and iPad, fuck, they wouldn't move. They wouldn't move a muscle.

They wouldn't even know. That just reminds me of something gross, because yesterday my dad took him to the toilet and like was like going to that cubicle there go to the for a WII and Dad was like, you're taking a while and poked his head in and he's got his head in the toilet. Not in the water, but yeah, no, Dad got his head in the toilet. And Dad's like, oh, what are you doing? And he let go and he's whole nervous thing as he puts his fingers in his mouth. Ah.

He was like ooh.

And I was like, did you wash him? And Dad's like, yeah, I licked his fingers. Ah.

No, Let's do some list of questions. Yes to end on.

Let's end on a listener question.

This first one is from Tommy, who says, my daughter, who was nearly one and a half, walks in on me in the shower, on the rag, and most recently she sat on my lap while I took a big shit. Well, said Tommy, hellig shit backed one out? How good are boundaries? I'm wondering though, did either of the two of you let your kids see you naked? And was there an age where you thought they shouldn't anymore? Hey, he says

I'm not gonna knock, gonna look.

What do you do with your kids? For me?

I've got a boy and a girl. Don't care if they see me in the nut. Honestly, I think they should thank me every time.

Because it's this is what a real man looks like.

And I continue to say that. They never really walk in on me because I lock the door. Oh you do every time. I'm not stupid, Not that you're stupid, but lock the door.

Man.

Let them bang on the door all they lie. I'll get the bang on the door, like daddy, what are you doing in there? What do you think I'm doing in here? Man, I'm trying to shit and get away from you.

I never the kids never come in and they never do that.

Yeah, they April's in the shower, Both kids are in there in the room. Macey's using in the drawers.

I guess Macy's she's a woman. A few words, so she ever say like, oh, Daddy, like you've got Because my kids sometimes like if it's been like I'm a bit of a public notist at home, like you heard it here first, it doesn't really bother me. Sometimes, you know, it's been a week or two and the girls haven't seen me naked, and then all of a sudden, I've seen me naked, and I go, holy shit, it's you, daddy. You've got a dodo And I'm like, yeah, yeah, I do.

Yeah, I don't think there's a huge big deal until they start to get a bit old, Like if you're a bathroom with your teenager, that's weird. But I think if they're like that, it's like you said at school, Yeah, maybe yeah, maybe we're not there yet. We don't really know. So I would say at the moment the ages that both of our kids are education wise about private parts, it can help.

Oh my god, you're giving advice. Sorry I stopped. You go ahead.

This is great, And I like, I like Macie and Oscar shower together, bath together, boy and girl. But like they don't know, right, they don't know. But unless we educate them. So like I find that I'm like, at the age now we're nuditive around me mum, not my mum, mummy, let's say, and both our kids. It's still fine and still have educational purposes. But I think, yeah, once I get to primary school, we'll probably have a different opinion

Yeah, I mean, I mean the kids one and a half.

Book young age. Fine. I think as we get into primary school our opinions might change. But I don't want to. I'm not going to judge anyone out loud. Never would up here all the time, Tommy, I hope that helps you through. He's probably like, that was just a load of fucking nonsense.

But what.

The next one is from Courtney Matt, I want to know, Well, Courtney wants to know. Wa'ts your lazy game to play with your kids? This is hers. I lay on the floor whilst my daughter takes her Barbie on a mountain walk on my back.

Yeah.

Yeah, that's that's good lazy.

That's very good. And I think I think all good lazy games require some level of being horizontal.

Yeah, like that guy who gets his kids to draw him while he sleeps. Fucking genius.

Very good. My lazy game. Sometimes when the kids wake up really early and they come into bed and I just want another five ten minutes and they're wide awake, we play a game where they draw letters on my back and I try and guess what the letters are and it just normally goes. I'm like, is that a Z? Do it again? And I try again. I go is that an S?

Do it again again?

And that's that's my laser game.

Yeah right, Mine is similar. I lay on my stomach and just let them jump on me.

That's not what you said before.

I said lock them in a cupboard, but I'm not allowed to say that because it's not true.

The tummy that's a great na.

I'm on my Tommy and there's on my back because I don't I don't really like massages, but I like when my Oscar comes in with two knees form in the bat really makes you feel a lot.

Anyway, before we go, last week we answered the question of what is the best book to read to your kids? That We've got a lot of great answers. We're not going to go through them here, but if you go onto it one of our last posts on two Doting Dads on Instagram, there's some great suggests in there from other parents. Yeah.

I just saw one here which I just spark my interest, which I do quite like. Rhymes short, it's easy, it's piranhas, don't eat bananas. Oh yeah, yeah, it's a good one.

That's a good That is a belter.

Yeah, get whip that one out. Getting to sleep room.

That is a belt. All this book talk ash it's getting the cogs turning in my mind.

I mean I can see them turning. I did very bad at schools as Engli English in particular. Both of us can't read all right, could we could? We potentially, But we've.

Got an idea and what we want to do is if you, as a parent, have had any situation where you've tried to leave the house and there's been a disaster with your kids that stopped you from going out and socializing. Send them to send them to us. We want to know what they are because we're working on something.

Send them at to Hello at tutoring dat dot com or d MS put in the show notes.

But we want to hear your suggestions because it will help an idea. We won't tell you what it is just yet. Bear with us. Yes, and if you've enjoyed this episode.

Please send it to someone who needs a little perker or someone who did understand how chaotic life could be. Because that was a chaotic episode.

It was bedlam.

It was great. I love that.

Let's just stay in this room for a little bit longer after we stop recording, because once we leave here and we go see our kids again.

I've already ordered for him.

So yeah, half, we've got plenty of time perfect give us a review as well. It would absolutely make us lives. Yes, we love hearing your feedback. It's really appreciated, and we'll see you guys next week.

Absolutely so.

Gosway