#140 Two Ranting Parents

Both Oscar and I have been banned from Mario Kart in my house. Go On April has officially banned Mario Kart. Oscar used to come home after school want to play me marriy cut, but I kept kicking his.

Ass and then I would try and be.

A good winner.

Would you antagonize him? Oh yeah?

I would laugh at something that happened on the screen that wasn't even had to do with him, and he'd be like.

I don't love hating laughter. And now we're both well that'll learn you that, it will learn me.

So look, Oscar's taking it harder than I am.

Back to doo doating dads. I am Mattie J and I'm Ash And this is a podcast all about parenting. It is the good, it is.

The bad and the relatable.

And if you've come for advice, shock horror, it's not gonna happen. It's not going to happen. Absolutely not. Just realized I've been so sore. I just my back has been it's stiff. Thank you, and I'm not just talking about your peenis there is just laugh good start. I realized what I did? What's that? Go on? I am renovating a house.

Start this again.

At the moment, renovating a house, I thought it was finished, renovating a house, Ash, tell me it's never finished, just abandoned. Hmmm K. So we were doing a bit of landscaping. A lovely young man named Charlie who was helping us out shirtless, he no, very very short shorts, very short shorts. I saw him once in normal clothing attire and you know, nothing to gork at. And then he came dressed ready to work and he had like proper, like seventy shorts.

On nothing a gore cat.

Yeah, like a lot of a lot of thigh And I was like, Bolt, yeah, subtle, it's just like not a not enough to be like that's off pudding, but just enough to like every now and then the sun would catch it. It would catch the sun.

And you know, there's nothing out off putting about any size bolt Man.

But the whole time, Ash, I've been like, hey, if you need a hand in a hand, I'm more than capable of cradling. And oh, sorry, Jess, I hate that she does. She really hates that. I can see. That's why I did it.

Yeah, it's good, I'm off for it.

And I was like, I will give you a hand and he was like, oh yeah, okay, that's all right. And I was like, let me help you. I need to feel like a man. Also gets me out of looking after the kids. Smart, thank you smart. I like anything to get out of helping. And he was like, look, we have some road base, a little bit of road based coming. Do you say what is road based? Keep a ton of it. And we're doing buckets in the trailer. In the buckets down the side of the house. Boom.

Where was it going?

It was going in Noah, you're asking questions. Okay, well you can't start us. Story was going there was okay, there's a trim of the deck and it's going in base the trim around the deck and then we're having some stones on top. And I did about six buckets.

Wow, a single bucket at a time, double double smart. You know, part of a part of painters training just to is you know how heavy those drums twenty leads.

Are like twenty kilos. Well leaders is.

More than twenty kilos, is it?

Yeah?

Twenty leaders of water is twenty kilos and paint thicker, so wouldn't it be heavy.

Lots to think about, a lot to think about.

They stay to carry too at once even out the way better for you're back smart.

Thank you. Well. I was just following what Charlie was doing. So his name is Charlie, Charlie and his bulg and he's doing a great job. Charlie, sorry from being inappropriate here. You're very handsome, very handsome. But I've done a couple of buckets. I did maybe half an hour of like buckets and pouring, and then Lauda was like, You've got to take the kids. And I've woken up this morning and I'm like, I feel like I've been like compressed

Muscle memory? It becomes muscle memory, right, they work on it. You're just like it's like going into a gym, a bodybuilder's gym, you and then them saying to you, right, come over here and lift this what they would usually lift. And then you waken up the next day and no wonder you saw.

I did do? I don't know. Tell me as someone who has spent a lot of time on site as a accomplished, accomplished painter.

When are you accomplished?

Not so much. Just what do you call someone who's finished the trade? That your qualified painter?

Yeah?

Okay, So he had two buckets and he was like shoveling it off the back of the tray into the buckets. And there's a number of buckets there on the floor, and I went to grab two and I said, oh, I just put one more shovel in this one here.

Yeah, he didn't like it, swinging your dick around that nice, You're like coming here, he comes to my fucking trunk.

Fill up this bucket to the to the bring you little bit. And then I was like five steps away from being like, oh.

He was shoveling and then carrying. I'm guessing so he's doing both. Yeah, and you're just like.

Top it off, a big fellow.

Yeah, Hey, last week I told a story, yes, about something I broke as a child. Oh, yes, and we are lucky enough.

Sorry, fucking sorry.

No, that's all right. You get a lot on your plate.

You tell a lot of stories. It's hard to keep up. Well, I'll just shut my mouth. No, you're just like in a good way. You're like a never ending pig. Because I'm not going to show amazing stories.

Thank you. And you've got a lot on your plane and I'm seeing what you understand where you've forgot renovating.

For those For those who are unaware, it was the car door ther door.

So I inadverted speech, I.

Can't move too much.

I was blamed for something that happened, which was the door ripping off on the poor side of a fence. Yes, but my sister blamed me for our whole childhood until she did and finally admit when we were teenagers that it was her that actually left the door open which led to it being ripped off. Now we are lucky enough to have my sister who's willing to take questions from you, Matt about said into and so what we'll do to give a quick call please, and we will

Now, oh well, someone's got cold feet. She knows the truth.

You're there for those listening. My sister's name is Beth. I refer to Beth. That's who I am referring to.

Okay, it's just it's just Jesus, sorry to put you through this painful phone call. Okay, can I just can I just say, Beth, if you would like to, you may have a lawyer present for this phone call. Anything you say or do will be held against you and possibly used in court. I understand.

Yeah, have you practiced that line?

No, I just watched a lot of law order.

All right, Ben, I want you to give us your version of the story, like exposing our family. I just feel poor.

Those things together. Yeah, you must have just felt.

We lived in a We lived in asbestos riddled house.

I bet it was like a marble fence and ash was like, oh, it was horrible.

I lived next door as the Italians, a concrete fence.

We had a statue of Baby Jesus out the front. Yeah, obviously, like it was quite a memorable moment in our family. And I remember it being a really big deal because the car had electric windows.

And he says, yeah, because there was just all these electronics that had to get picked, as well as just the door.

This was twenty eight years ago we're talking about. I can't really remember the specifics, but I do remember it.

Yeah, being assumed that Ashton left the door open just obviously went on with that, like I don't want to take a blame for, you know, a couple of thousand dollars worth of damage to your dad's favorite car, only car.

He kind of took it on the Chino me. He just kept Yeah.

I feel like he didn't deny it.

It's like four years old, barely tall, just went along with it. I think I just had to cop up because I was the youngest. You were, you know, the showman of the siblings.

I think you just enjoyed being the center of attention of this story.

So, oh, he's fine with it. Oh I wasn't. It obviously made her the victim here, which I like, living in the shadows of Ashwicks, which must have been very difficult me understand where I come from. What was the moment which led to you owning up to the incident. You can't get any trouble now ten years later. Yeah, it is a rule once once you hit a decade, it's a clean slate, exactly.

And I know Ashton's taken the blame for this, but I'm pretty sure I.

Did it very good, very good. I appreciate being blamed for so long.

I'm so glad that now you'll be right. My therapist has heard about this story many times.

Is this the final page though of the story. Are we now putting this to bed finally know? Oh ah, she's there.

I think the term no, I think Mum did call me about it continues, it continues. I feel like once I've spoken to Mum about I wouldn't.

Want to take it to my deathbed. I very appreciate that. We appreciate you being on the podcast, Beth and owning up. Also, happy birthday, thank you?

How old are you thirty thirty seven? Well congratulations, don't.

Look a day over twenty. Stop creeping on my sister. Dude.

All right, thanks Beth. It'll still come up with my therapist. But I appreciate you owning up to it. There we have it, so open the horses.

Now we have it.

Wow.

Can I just pull you up on one thing you were there? You know those you know, those celebrities like I think Pink is one who's she's been outed for not being poor, but she pretended to be poor to be more relatable. Are you No, you're essentially the podcast version of Pink. You're like, we were so poor and then she's like, then the Bentley was so badly damaged that we didn't even get to drive it for a whole two weeks. Electric windows, oh support.

It was a rental firebro asbestos house that my dad felt.

Oh no, I'm just having a flashback. Fuck, what is it now?

Oh my dad fell through the asbestos roof when he was trying to fix the antenna so that we get reception. And I remember coming out of my bedroom and it happened, and all I could see where his legs flailing about through the ceiling.

We should have asked that stunt.

Believe.

I can't believe anything you say, because, like, really, show me a photo of that. I bet it was like a three story beachfront manch and Ash was like, we could barely have any food. We had baked beans for Christmas. Please, Yes, we did. Please, And you're always having to go at me. We did, I tell you right now, all of the servants had to have baked beans. Moving on Easter hat parade blame. Did you did Oscar do one for school? Yeah? He did? Did you go? Yeah?

It was so lame.

There is nothing more special, Ash than looking at the face of your child as they lock eyes with you, and they realized that one of the most beloved family members that parent is in the crowd cheering them on.

Oscar does this thing where he doesn't look at anyone. His looks at the ground. He knows we're there.

You didn't get awave, you didn't get nothing special. Nah.

He had a pretty cool He did his hat with his buddy.

They did it together. It looked pretty good. Did two laps of the oval? Two make yours with your school and like making them endure endurance.

Length childhood obesity is not a joke, man, And they did twenty four laps of the Oval and now they're all athletes. But yeah, look it was fifty minutes long parade.

Yeah, how many? How many years do they do at your school?

All of it every year?

Yeah, that's I felt like a one hundred grades. Could you not make it? Because Oscar being kindy start with kindy? Could you then be lying out of there or did you have to hang around?

He was the first class to go, and I looked at April, like, yes, let's get out of here.

And then she was.

Crying such a cryer. I let her cry. Did she cry across country?

Yeah? Dude, emotions are good to experience, are they? Yeah?

And then yeah, then we had to sit there the whole time.

Why don't you guys get out of there?

They would have seen us. Oh he has to go sit back down with his class. It's all about I don't want to.

I don't want to throw my sister under the bus seat because she's a very good parent, one of the best. Will we all know that? Oh yeah, o Kate, if you're listenings. She loves the podcast. She was like, the Easter had parade, don't even bother And I was like, what do you mean. She's like, it's it's a non event at school. So I was like, okay, fine, Like, don't have to tell me twice not to go to

She's the parent that goes.

She is the going parent. And so I was thinking, well, if she's not going to attend, if it's not important enough for my sister, I'm not going to go.

Would you. As soon as you get the opportunity for an out of one of these things, you're not going to question it.

So she's never been to one of these that parades at the school that we now attend with Marley okay, and Marley was like, hey, who's coming to the Easter parade? Or I think I was like, hey, Marley's the heads up this Friday, the Ust that parade, We're not coming.

No one's going to come and watch you.

No one to hear that.

No, we do love you.

Now that I think about it, it was big news for her to digest. She was in tears. But I couldn't attend. Laura couldn't attend. No, yeah, okay, and she did have a beautiful hat that we made. But Marley was hysterical. And then Nana, thank Heavens, said I can attendi like night and shining armor, the backbone of his family.

She is, she really is.

I keep like waving my left arm because that's where she's she's not that's her quarters. She's on holidays. But thankfully she attended. And this is like the event was a big deal.

Okay, why was it a big deal?

My sister was like, it's nothing. You get. You get like thirty seconds, you have one cookwave and you get out of there. It was like a full on. They only do the first three years of school, so the older kids don't do it. Every parent was there, the kids, do the Easter hap parade. They'd do a whole class choreography. Choreography, choreography, corey, huh, choreog That is a weird It is a weird word. Yeah, thank you.

Choreography.

It's not easy this thing.

I feel like I'm saying it wrong. Corey ography, ography, well, choreography.

It was. It was massive, huge event. What was the dance? Chicken dance?

I was gonna say, we also did the chicken not me, but they also did the chicken dance.

It's a classic.

It's a banger.

It's a classic. And I had other parents messaging me, going, hey, you know the Eastern parades on today, and I was like, oh, yeah, I know that give missing the chicken dance. And it was great. My nana said it was one of the best East Hat parades she's ever attended.

She's having you on for sure, she's definitely laying the boot in because it probably was good. But to be like, oh, you know, and it's like, oh, you know, how was last night and you want to just like rub it.

It was a non event. It was nothing.

It was the best night of my life. It was the best parade I've ever been to.

That's what she said. I believe it. I believe it. And it was like the look on Marley's face. She sent me the video and just Marley as she looked up and realized that Nana was there, one of the family members. The backbone, the backbone, the night was there. I thought you were going to say something. It wasn't. The night was there. Yeah, so you would have loved that you got it on camera. I don't want to. I can't share the footage because Marley is the school uniform.

I know.

It's like the and there's also other kids there as well.

It's like whenever I take ma, she's swimming aprils, like, get a photo. I'm like, okay, yeah, a fully grown man taking photo of kids in their bathing suits. That's gonna look real fucking good.

Again, I'm attacking my sister here, making me feel better about myself. It was the Daughters of the Son's last year because next year he won't do the tap parade. Oh yeah, she cried my sister. Yeah, she's having a great time. She's a the beach. Oh that's right.

She didn't even go. I had to go I didn't endure it. I just mentioned swimming lessons. I take Macy every Thursdays. Do you still take your girls?

Still go? I've got an arrangement now on Friday mornings ash where my sister takes takes her child and takes Lola. Oh, can she take Macy to swimming lessons? She's fine.

The problem is with these swimming lists.

They're indoor.

Usually your one's indoor in the door. Yeah, it's so hot in there.

Now it's now, it's nice.

I'm walking into a micro climate. It's like raining walking there and there's a cloud and it's raining.

Is yours a chlorinated pool? Yeah? What's the type of It's like apsults? Ours is like a type of It's gonna make me sound like an epsolt a bond? Is that? Yeah?

Ours was actually Champagne.

I just I should have stopped myself.

Yeah you should have. Yeah, as okay, I'll stop. You stop on swimming lessons. And Mason has started to She's all of a sudden from not wanting to put her head under whatsoever. She's a very mouth open swimmer, having a great time and she and that causes a lot of water to go and be ingested, as you can imagine, but all of a sudden, she's decided that she wants to shut her mouth, hold a breath, and go on water and swim on her own, which is when you watch it and you're like, huh, all of a sudden,

It's good to see that confidence. But at the same time, his kids are fucking dumb. She had to get rescued.

I'm not I'm like twenty or thirty meters away. You have to you know how, you have to sit where all the parents are.

You're the creepy guy taking photos of the kids. I was under the water. You're in the back corner, caged. Came around with my big camera, And why did that make you sit twenty meters it's not it's the other end of the pool, and you can't you sit next to her your child's swimming.

Well, it is directly in line, there's no obstruction. But she's at that end.

Of the door on the street through the fence.

Anyway, I'm sitting there and I saw her like leap off the submerged step, and I thought, here we go and just to see what would happen. And she sunk like a stone and then she started to like swim and when one of the instructors walking past just leans over, reaches in and grabs her and just hads to pull her straight.

Out and just like having a great time. But like every time the teacher turns his back. Now it's going to be stressful for a teacher, Yeah, yeah.

And I can hear him saying to her, don't go when it's not your turn, don't go on to just stay right here. But she's not.

No one tells Macie what to exactly.

Right, and she was like fuck you, fuck you, and she's just straight into the deep pan. And it's like it's become like thirty minutes of like just nerve racking.

Will Macy make it out?

Yeah, I'm like, fuck, I'm ready, I'm anxiety turned out in a lifeguard shirt, just waiting, waiting for it to sink to the bottom. But the fact is that walking instructors walking past and had to stop because the other guy was right at the other end. It was like, for fux sake, Macon, just Lola, Lola at the beach. Fuck, it's annoying, so annoying. And there's always a new problem

That's pretty cool and yeah, but she can't swim. Oh yeah, So she's like she goes, swims out, sinks. I then save her and she's like, what do you think you're doing?

I remember actually I remember from the cruise last year. Wait, she's like she can't swim, but she also doesn't want your help, dude.

If I touch her, she's like, get your fucking fingures off me and put me back down. And I'm like, you were at the bottom of the pool. And she's like, I know what I'm doing. So then I let her sing. I wait. Ten seconds goes by and I'm like, I'll lift her back up and she's like, I said, unhand me.

She's just on the bottom of the floor the floor.

I'm like, do I do? I just let her drown once, just one time, like a supervised drowning, just to I would endorse that, just to like let her know that, like, hey, you could die, I'm saving your life here.

It's kind of like when I like, my kids have zero road sense, and I'm like, do you understand if that car hits you, You're gone? Do we do a controlled hit and run hit and run? We're just we should start a business.

Can we go the Easter shows on? Can we go to the Dodge and Cars and just give it a little tap a love tape? Not going to break a bone.

I was thinking about hitting them with my car, but okay, okay, we could put like a couple of cushions on the front of the Carver.

Fine, yeah, control. You don't want to break a fema, but you do want them to be on their backside and have a cry. Yeah, just a little. They don't understand these things can go once again, just for legal reasons. Don't take anything that we say as a vin controlled death. It's like controlled crying, but it's just like controlled dying. Yeah, exactly. I think we've nailed this.

I don't think we've gone a bit off topic there. My kids went over there at the beach and they get hit with the wave of all of a sudden, they hate the beach.

Now on actually, just really quickly, just really quickly before we go into a new segment. Yes, really, because we do have a new segment. I did make a promise to Jest that this would be a quick episode slash segment.

We always promise that we never do.

Nola hates having sand on her feet at the beach. Oh, She's like, she washes her feet and the sand along the edge of like where the water is, the sand is hard. So she's fine, takes four more steps away from the water, she gets sand on her feet and she's like, oh my god, you sand. It's like Macy hates it on her hands.

So I've got to when we get to the beach, I've got to go fill a bucket up with water so that every time she does anything in the sand, to go make sure.

She's like it's never ending, it's never ending. Sorry, hey, actually have a segment. We do have a new segment. Okay, I can't pronounce it properly. You want to say what it is? Hair Rant? Just like, amazing work from you. I've got to give credit when credit is due because you come up with the.

Name pretty much instantaneous, just.

Like came to you. It just popped into your head, you like on the floor. You came to and you're like, oh, what did I just say? And I was like, just name the segment and you're like, I don't recall. Very good, very good. It's about parents having rants. Yes, love that or Rance rants Rance again. Normally for a segment, we have a song that we sing. If you've done one without me, no, oh, I would never dream of that. Okay, Okay, you know if I'm gonna if I'm going to sing

Good because I haven't even thought about the song.

So I think I think, I'm just I'm going to play the chorus and then I'll tell you what I'm thinking for work. I was driving in the car by myself, and I thought, what is a song that can work? And then it came to me, just popped into my head, a little like your vision that you had just came to me. Okay, I'm just gonn play the song. Hey, you don't like parenting, you don't like parenting. If you're annoyed, give us your parent. Okay, we can make it work.

I like it.

You don't like parenting, you don't like parenting?

This this is a parent rant that works. Okay, you don't like parenting, we could definitely do we get the instrumental.

Just tell me your parent.

Yeah, you got it right? Then maybe you should sing it every time? Parant?

I can't, I can't. This is your parant. Okay, we got there. We go. I like, well, do we want to put it to the vote? Do you want to let the listeners choose? Yes? I mean you're on board. I'm on board. We care so much about what.

The listeners think, like parenting, Your kids are annoying, kids are so annoying, and tell us your parlet's your parent pet rant is anything that is just making you a little bit frustrated in the world of parenting when there's a lot, there's a lot, Yeah, there's that's that's why segments so good.

Any example, just give us so we talked about we did it on stories. You know, daylight savings is a nightmare. Oh yes, it's only an hour difference, but it completely disrupts the schedule, the sleep schedule.

Pretty much, jet lags your kids.

It's a nightmare. One hour and it's like, fucked me a nightmare. I mean at the moment, I'm getting really annoyed with dinner. Kids don't eat anything.

Oh yeah, yeah, I've given up.

Yeah I've given There we go. So that's just a little like starving, essentially, to get brains lubricated for more potential pair rants parents, parents, I've got one here. Okay, this one is from Okay and hello Kate. She says it's frustrating that school kids get twenty weeks of holidays. Well, parents only get four weeks of leave. How does this make sense for the average household.

Well, it's very simple. You get paid for that leave. You can take as much leave if you want if you don't get paid for it. But I get you. It's frustrating. It's a lot of weeks, twenty weeks.

If you're siding with corporations here, which I didn't expect.

Big business. I'm all about big business. You are first for a business.

Wit.

Look, we're in and around election time, all about big business, and then when the election's over, back to small business.

I think it is sorry playing foots is under the table. It is very good. I remember working in the office. This is before I was doing podcasting, working nine to five, if you will say this is.

Last week when I worked at an office.

Okay, but I remember people would bring their kids into the office. Oh how annoying. And I didn't mind it. They just sat in the corner on an iPad.

That generation that's called bad parenting, that.

Generation of parents who are you know, like ten years older than us. Yeah, they were just like, let the iPad do the work. Yeah.

And they're also just like I've got I've got a job to like, what else do you do with it?

But I always thought like, what is why do I do that? Because there's just too many weeks.

And the care is expensive.

Do we say do we say that we should scale back school holidays?

Yeah, so send them all year, no break. Let's just see what the burnout looks like then. Actually, just on that, did your kids get any like end of turn burnout? Do you think I'm a burnt right out to a crisp yeah, chucoal, Yeah that's yeah. I'm still trying to bring him back.

Oh, school was looking dark? That's racist.

Yeah, look at too many weeks. I totally agree. I've always said that unless you're a teacher and you're like yeahh and you get.

Like fuck the teachers? Oh joking? Do I have one?

Okay, Maddie, I'm going to try and send this over a voice message because it's a lot easier.

But first of all, love.

Your podcast, my hair, before we continue, she said, Maddie, love your podcast? What about me?

She said, love the podcast? No, well, I was speaking to her. Oh, I speak to the fans, Ash, I invest time and energy.

I'm not sure if your girls went through the same thing. My daughter, Indy, she's eighteen months old and she's going through this period of hating her nappy being changed. It is the most annoying, chaotic, stressful job.

Of the day.

In addition to that, doing number two's she always chooses the most inconvenient time.

It's like straight.

After bath time or just before daycare. The stress that goes through my body trying to get her to stay still while I'm trying to wipe. Who is disgusting and just not a vibe.

I love it, she says, just no vibe. I don't think there's a vibe changing an appy other than this.

Shiit stinks.

I don't think anyone's changing a happy and gone. Oh that was great. That was the vibe. Vibes high sometimes, although I got to say sometimes when I'm still wiping Lola's bum when she does a number two and it's a clean wipe, and I'm like, oh, vibe that that was great. That was good. Vibes were high.

But yeah, I do remember the old stage of them not wanting to change then appy. Every now and then Macy still wants to poo in an appy.

Hitting them down. Wow, okay in a gentle and loving way. Did you ever have a stage where you would put them to bed and they would ship, they would fall asleep for an hour, and the macy still does that, like that's just come on, that's not fair, it's not And do you know you don't deserve that? I do? You know what?

And you don't know the ones that are sorry, let me get this out. The ones that are worst are the ones you don't know they've done it until you, like, maybe go and check on the me're like fucking stinks in there, and they've been and they share a room, so they're stewing in.

Shut the door.

It's like that game operation where you've got to try and change the nappy without waking and you're in there like good scavel. But call it.

She's gone, she's gone. Call it. It's like I always do.

I always go to April. It's too man job, too man jobs. And then well she'll lead the way in and I'll disappear and she has to do it on her own.

Hey, let's go into listening questions.

Yes, let's do that.

Can I start this one off? This one is from Libby Libby, she wants to know what are our favorite kids songs? None?

No, there are some that you've too for sure. I get that. I get it would you want missed up?

Please go number three?

Man, this is going to trigger a lot of people because it's where it's widely known as a song that everyone hates, but I actually vibe off it. It's called baby shark.

Yuck see yuck. No, I don't even know. I vie.

I get it, man, Macy, we're fucking actions.

It's got like billions of views. I know, I know so much better than that. I know, but it's just I just basic. I'm a basic bitch's okay, what's your number three? Then number three? Kids love it. It's called pooh bum poo bum poopy man pop pop pop poop bee bum bum that fucking slabs. Can you send me that please?

I'm not doing enough research.

It's a great song that is good gear and now I feel stupid. Yeah yeah, baby shark.

Oh.

I was just like, this is what I'm vibe to Macy with. Ok after We've just had a twenty minute conversation about princesses and unicorns and then we hit some baby Shark hits the really finish off that night.

Laura hates that song. Nana also hate song. It's like a treat if they get to listen to it in the car, the po song. I think that's a banger. That's going on to Jim toilet number two? What do you got again?

I'm going to trigger some people here.

Let it go.

I'm frozen, Macey and I belt that it is a banger. I honestly love that song. This is honesty. I'm being honest.

I regret asking this question. Why I just thought you'd have more spice.

We are to be honest. A lot of the time in the car, we're listening.

That's bad parenting from you.

We listen to things like what else Limp Biscuit Drake Drake at the moment for the kids is really good swearing Paul Kelly.

No, don't try and defend yourself. That's your number two. My number two is what does the fox say? Oh yeah? What does the fox say? It's just like I got a.

Bit of baby shark vibe about it.

Don't even dare try to make that comparison. What does a fox say? It's high energy, it's a Friday Harbor banger. It slaps pick the kids up to drop that. What does a fox say that one?

What does a fox says?

I apologize? Are your animals. What's your number one? Number one?

Look is called rattling bog by the Wiggles wisdom. Yes, that is very good. I get around that.

I fuck with that for sure. What do you got?

What's your number one? Because obviously my list sucks compared to yours.

Diversity kop we had her on a few weeks ago. Oh yes, this song weekend baby, it's the weekend.

There we go.

I see kids raving out of that.

You're welcome your question.

What's the longest you've gone, Matthew without washing your kids?

I think two days, two nights. All right, Yeah, I don't have a problem with that, and the reason for them. We just justify my behavior. Okay, I don't think it's just fine. But yep, Lola had scraped and she's falling over a lot at the moment, glumza, very clumsy. The crocs are just no good for her. You gave me so much ship I did.

You're not putting my kids in crocs because they I said that she trips over and now you're backtracked. I thank you, you were right.

I was raight.

Apology, accept it. But Lola is tripping over every little pebble and just moving too fast. I don't know, dude, I don't know. I don't know if she gets tired. It's just she just literally falls over after five o'clock. It's it's just like, it's not a matter of when. No, it's not a matter of it's not a matter of if. It's when she falls over. And every time she falls over, she loves ring skirts, squats. She keeps grazing your knee. And when she grazes her knee doesn't matter the size

So, yeah, here's a hint for you, his little tip trick, because I know what you mean. When kids get a graze, they don't want to put him in water. It stings as soon as they put it in.

They get that.

Put a flannel on it before they get in. A flannel, yeah, like a wet flannel, and they get him so oscar when he's got a graz's knee, I put a flannel on his knees, A.

Flannel like a shirt, flannel like a little square like a.

Wash cloth, a wash cloths, flannel whatever over it and when they're in the bath, that'll protect it.

And because they're so dumb, they're like, oh, very good, very good. What's the long as you've gone without watching your kids? Weeks? How long were we in Bali? Last?

Like a full wash pretty much in Bali? Not a single bath. It was had in three weeks outdoor shower, Yeah, wash wash, just wash cloth because I didn't want to drink in the bath water because it make them sick.

Okay, oh there you are. I was about to say, you're a bad parent, but you're saving their lives.

Don't judge me.

I'll always judge you.

Yeah, three weeks, that's, thank you, very record, that's a record except homeless people. And yeah, shout out to the homeless, because they'd be listening they.

Do actually moving on. Yeah, I think that's a good question. That's a very good question. If anyone can beat three weeks, we're not going to judge, we're not going to dob you into child services, or are we three weeks? Great effort? Holidays the rules go out the window, yeah.

I think, and rightly so, because we got back and put him in the bath because they stang.

Four people sitting next to you on that jet stuff like no, they all smell like that when they're on jest ah. If you have any questions, a pair rant, or maybe you just want to give us some feedback, which we would love, send it through to us who would love that, not me. Pretend like you can't handling, I can't handler. You can hit us up hello at two Doting dads dot com or on social media.

At two Doting Dads on Instagram TikTok as well also the Facebook.

And if you're listening to this podcast and you don't subscribe to us on Spotify or Apple podcasts, like, I don't want to get angry, I don't want to raise my voice at you, but God's what are you doing? It's disappointing, isn't it just really of wanting behavior? Just stop right now? Jump out, subscribe and ashn. I would appreciate it as much as we appreciate the kids eating all the dinner. Oh that's the top level appreciation and that's what we're willing to give.

Also, T shirts, we have a fresh crate.

T shirts of the White One's labn is sold out.

Sorry, lab sold straight out immediately.

Popcats you guys love the lab suggest another color? Yes, if you're another color? Also, can I just throw blue keeping on the baby train? People said, can you do sizes for kids? No, We'll think about it and we'll see you guys next week. Have you anyst Bye.

Stop rigidory nicety to us, very good, say bye Jess, bye yess.

Two Doting Dads podcast acknowledges the traditional custodians of country throughout Australia and the connections to land, see and community.

We pay our respects to their elders past and present and extend that respect to all Aboriginal and Torrestraight Islander peoples today