I'm going to tell you something. Okay. When I tell you this, you cannot react. Okay, you have to still continue sitting here in this seat. Do you agree to those terms? I'm ready. Yeah, I'll tell you after the intro. Welcome back to two noting dads. I am Mattie J And I'm Ash And this is a podcast all about parenting. It is the good, it is the bad and the relatable. Hang on a second, away, my guy, give us. Yeah, just a little baby, Burt go, well, my baby, baby baby.
Go.
Shoot.
Let me just regather myself. First of all, we don't give any advice, never have no will.
Okay, okay, promise me you will not call out, You are not get off your seat. You will remain seated after hearing this news. I can't promise you. Well, dude, I'm not going to tell. You. Have to promise me. That's the whole thing. This relationship is based on trust. I'm gonna bluff you into telling me. No tell Okay, So, do you know who's been locked upstairs the whole time? Don't you go out? Who? Okay, my mum, do you
know what she did? She pooped in her own room? No? No, uh, she came home last night, and I was like, what the fuck have you done to your face? I'm talking quietly because she may hear me. She has she fell over. Even worse than that, she has gotten lipstick tattooed on her lips, and her lips currently are very swollen. Oh, and it's they're so bright red. The reds so aggressive, like real, real, like hectic. And I'm not allowed to say anything though she was so she's been so embarrassed.
She looked like the joker when she came home last night. And then I don't know, my mom sometimes makes silly decisions, okay, not knowing the full context. And I was like, holy fuck, Ellie, what have you done in your face? And it's going to be like that for apparently a week. So why is she upstairs? She's embarrassed, Well, she's got her own room. Yeah, because then the bathroom is upstairs. The on swite because she's like, I don't want to see he'll make fun
of me. I would never, Yeah, I would definitely would. And I tried to get it to come the podcast, so I can't. I don't think I can share a photo of her because and then she didn't know we're doing for those of you wondering. We've done two records today with a great guest coming out very shortly. So she thought we're doing one record. So she was like, can I come downstairs and get some food? And I said no, we're about to record another episode. So she's
starving herself upstairs right now. Four old things. I'm just picturing the joker. She was wearing a green shirt and she like it also looked so weird last night because she's like, all right, good night, I'm off to bed. She's in her pajama's no makeup, and then this red lips that's like so bright you have to wear sunglasses? Why did she? Why did she do that? Because she was like, oh, yeah, they'd be great. I don't have to wear lipstick anymore. Is she gone on the Golden Bachelor?
Well maybe she is, is she She said, she said I don't want to. She's denied. She's denied it because she said she's got your sore foot. So she's worried that she's going to you know, not sleeping chronic pain. Although now that you mention it, the red lipstick, it makes a lot of sense. It sounds make a lot of and I think she got I'm thinking of that Simpsons episode were Homer gets the makeup make up for March.
She got Eyeline a tattooed on as well. My god, what is she doing out there? I don't know, dude, I can't wait to see it. She used to get sucked into those Daniel's Direct TV deals. We used to have, like the Abtronic.
Home but who ab swiveled me?
You do?
We had all the app mom anyway, blessed her cotton socks.
She's just up and night ordering ship off Daniel's Direct. Does Dan's Direct still exist?
I think so. I think they do it anyway. So that's why she may come down after the record. I look forward to seeing the Ellie's new features. Apparently a week a week for it to settle down. For the dye needs to fade a little bit. Yeah, I've been tatted before on your lips. You would look good with the lipstick. Hey, April's been anybody of your content lately. Every now and then she's making a little appearance. People love it. They can't get enough. She's very funny. Is
she going to mate? Get her to jump on board the influencer train?
Nah?
She won't do it? Why not of us? Why not us? She won't do it. I have a little story of a meltdown that we had recently go on you who who were talking about this is? This is Lola.
This is little Lola and the youngest of the Johnson clan correct Burn Clan.
Currently three years old. Picked her off from daycare the other day and she was great. She was amazing. I mean, often is Lola when we pick her up. She's just full of smiles, full of energy, having a great time. And very very quickly things turned with Lola and she I think I had this thing on a pick the kids up. I don't know if you do this, I'm sure you ignore all the other kids ash, but I asked the kids what they're having for dinner? The other
kids yeah, well, like we know ID. I'm like, hey, Timmy, what are you having for dinner? And he's like, I'm having chicken nuggets. And I'm like that's great.
I don't engage at all, no, because then they like when I go and drop Oscar off, like there's one or two kids and I'm sorry, if their parents listening, you won't name them.
They're like Oscar's dad Oscar's dad oscars dad.
Just like no social cues, like they would just keep like to get my attention. They like you, and I don't want to engage by like being more friendly than I already have, like a fist palm, but high far, because then I'll take me forever to get in and out.
And you know me, I'm like, get out of my car. It's my kids. I'm out of here. Of God, those kids are like give them an inch, take a mile. Oh okay, so I like to I like to have the old chat. Just what are you having for dinner? Right, Timmy, let's call them? Said I'm having a hamburger. Oh and I said that sounds delic, Timmy, you enjoy that anyway. Get Lula's bag and she goes, I want a hamburger. Okay, sorry, no hamburger tonight. Why not? We've got spaghetti Bolonnes. Again,
I do have an awful lot of spaghetti Bolinas. Won't need it anymore. Bro, it's a steak. They're on to me. So no, there's no hamburger spaghetti Bollinnes. But I'm like, this will be fine spaghetti. She'll have a little winge. She fights back when she finds out she's having spaghetti billonnes, but then she ends up beating and she loves it. But then in the car, she's like, I want a hamburger.
She stepped it up, and she stepping it up okay, And I'm like, there's no hamburger, Like, it's spaghetti bolinnis. We'll have it tomorrow night, tomorrow night with a hamburger. She's still going, She's like, oh what steps it up again? And I'm like, do you know what, I'm not going to engage with this, wow, Like I'm not gonna reciprocate. Stop the conversation and that will then she'll she'll run out of steam. Can I just say, please, that's very mature of you, thank you. I would not do that.
So I just send the music right up. Okay, well that's very sure of you. Try and just like drown around with some music. What song was it? Best? Buys? Girls, stop right now, thank you. If you want to be my lover, you got to get with my friends nice, get home and do this fucking hamburger. Chat's just continuing, So I want a hamburger and dragging her up out of the car, up the stairs full tears, full on tears, like hysterical, still wants his hamburger, barely has a mouthful
of food in the bar. Still, Ash, what the hamburgerous? Jess feigning for that burger. Never had this before ever, I'm like, what the fuck is it with this hamburger? Put it in bed? Still her whimpering, Oh my god, for a hamburger. Okay, we wake up Still she's having a week bis and She's like, I just wanted a hamburger. I was like, I get it. They're bigs. I understand. Tonight we will get you a hamburger. So that night, Ash we went to the RSL. Right, it's tradition. We
got the RSL once a week. They save hamburgers. Beautiful kids. Hamburgers are a full adult hamburger by Okay. And I was like, do you know what if she wants you a die hamburger, I'm not going to get in the way she's Urn't that the amount of winching she's done. I was like, and I picked her up, Hey, guess what time for a hamburger? Oh yeah, hamburger time tonight. She's like, yeah, she's pumped. You get there, go to order it. The till and I'm like, Lola, just double checking,
you want the hamburger? And she goes, no, I'd like a pizza. Oh god. And I was like fuck okay, And I was like, let's just let's just rewind a second. Just threw the test. Just rewind. You know, you've been asking for a hamburger quite a lot. Does she know what a hamburger is? Maybe she doesn't, hmm, maybe she doesn't. Anyway, she say I want the pizza, and I was like, it's those kind of situations where it's very hard to know which way to turn. Do you take her word
for it? Kids don't know what they want, bro, I figured that out. Yeah, so many times they've asked for something. I give them what they've asked for and they're like what is this?
Or they do this thing where someone else has something and you know that they don't like it, but they're.
Like, I like it now You're like, no, you don't, look I do. It's like Laura loves pickles. I bet she does. The kids like, I'd like a pickle. You don't want a pickle? Now? I love pickles? Yeah, give a pickle? Like, what the fuck away from me? It's like I had the I was eating the kiwi fruit with the skin on. Delicious. Delicious to me. I love kiwi fruit? Does he? I was like, do ye take a bite then? And he was like I don't like hear three. When Mum has a gin and tonic and
Ma thinks it's like phizzy nice water. I say this physicistuff is very good. You're gonna hate the tonic water. And she's like, just give us, just hit me the stratege in. So what did you do? So what do you reckon? What would you have done in that situation? If you're me for a second, let's imagine what would you have ordered? The pizza or the hamburger.
I would have got them the pizza, and then I would have used it against them when they said.
Oh, I said, well, do you recall or record her saying I want pizza? Order pizza? See what she says? And then she's like, I wanted a burger. Go, well, here's the receipt for that. That's very good. I forgot. I ended up ordering both. I should have done both, but I sound very expensive. Now bro Oh yeah, I know the pizza and oh you can see I saw it coming on my mind. Why are you making life so hard for me.
Right now, I've got to gripe with hamburgers an Oscar please, in particular Oscar so happy meals.
Yeah.
I always go the nugget route because I know they'll eat them every now and then, and April falls.
For it every time. I will not. I refuse to fall for it, and I won't stand for it.
Is Oscar every now and then will go to I want a cheeseburger instead, and I'm like, you won't eat it. All you'll do is eat the bread on top, like pick at the bread and leave the paddy and leave everything else.
What about if you go no mustard, no onion? Still want to eat it? No?
Right? Every time he does it without fail every time, and April's like, no, no, I'm here out.
Some of my mind. I'm like, you are so you're so easy to manipulate.
Like so she'll get in it, and then he'll do the exact same thing, and every time I'll be like see and it's not like he'll take a bite out of it and then put it down to be like a half had enough.
And then I can come in like a seagull swoop it up. Because I was going to say that surely it's not the worst thing for you. If something angles it up, he mangles it. It's so ugly looking. With a nugget.
They can leave a nugget and I'm like, that's a fresh piece of gold. Yes, that's gone straight my mouth, delicious. Granted I did eat but the chicken out of the beIN one time. But the three piece or six piece nuggets, yeah, I always get the extra because they're mine.
Thank you. Yeah, you know, it's like an extra, like fifty cents. You're a wise man. I am once.
Someone has once told me that anyway, so he every time, and I'm like, and then we had some friends stay over the other day and they are a little bit older, the kids, and they had burgers and ate them like burgers, and well they when they ordered them, and April's formed for it again and what did he do?
The exact same fucking thing. Can I just say happy meals? I remember them being three dollars forty five? Yeah, they like twelve bucks. Yeah, but you get two sides, so you get some apples, you get some chips, apples, and the apples are shit out. Let's be My kids love the apples the most. I'm just driving through, I'm like, just give us some apples. Kids happy, but they're like, I've eaten, I've had some of the apples. They're they're
sorry from which McDonald's. You gotta go to the better McDonalds. Because we've always going down south. We go like we are we stopping at the engadeen machas iesco motioned themselves.
Yes, I can't go to our local McDonalds anymore because I was in there the other I usually drive through with my app get a coffee or whatever before I come here, because it's right in your kindy.
Yeah, no problems.
I had to piss, so I had to stop and walk in, and there was a collective group of girls behind the counter working there, and one of them asked me if I'm the TikTok guy, and I was like.
The TikTok guy, Yeah, is that offensive? No?
But now it's like I go there incognito, and now I've been cognitoed and I don't and I'm like, I can't come back here.
Now that's it. This is it for me. Dude, You're about to get free stuff from makis.
No, no, no, they've got laws against that. Now I'm not a policy, but yeah, I can't. I rang able straight away. I said, that's it. We can't go to this McDonald's anymore.
Where are you getting your coffees from? Just raw dognity? Now, I was like, oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, that's great that you're like a big thing within the younger generation. Well done. She was a little bit older.
It's like seventy. It was embarrassing. Now I've also got to grow up with Macy.
That little princess. What has she done? Have you let your kids watch the original Lion King? I think we watched the new one. It's fucking weird, isn't it. I can't. I dipped in for a second action. I wasn't hugely into it. If I'm being really honest, I don't think they've seen the original.
There's a scene in that movie which we all know is probably one of the saddest scenes in cinematic history.
What the one with the cliff and Scar. I don't want to ruin the movie for anyone. It's the it's the scene where Scar throws more faster off the cliff. Well, there you go, just ruined it for people who haven't seen it. Alert very sad after they very sad. I can't even watch it still tears. No, okay, quite the opposite. I thought I had you.
Nope, So I've come home the other day in April has put the linking on.
I'm okay with that.
And then I'm like, are we gonna again skip the scene? She's like, no, I think it's I think it's sign to they I've seen it. I see what happens, because usually we skip all that bit.
Why don't you because it's just too emotional.
Emotional maybe for me, but they just thought the Simba got lost. Sim is the dad, right, so whoa whoa fast as the dad. Sorry, I apologize, so look at me like that. Anyway, we've seen the scene. No sadness out of Macy. She seemed to resonate more with the villain or the bad guy, so for the rest of the movie she kept going on about, where's the bad guy?
I want to see the bad guy scar again.
Yeah, So she started to resonate with the bad guy of every everything is we.
Watched Taste with the Bad Boys? Yeah? So she was like, what were we watching? Lelo was Stitch?
Is he the bad guy? Where's the bad guy? I want to see the bad guy. We went to the zoo the other day when saw the lions, where's the bad guy? Oh gosh, she wants the bad guy.
Makes a lot of sense though, because she does like me quite a lot. I happened to be a bad boy a bit rough around the edges, said, no trouble back in my day. What's spended twice from high school? Maybe you can pick up on that. Ye, she noticed, she sees how I drive that to one He went over to my place, and now she'd be like, I've moved on from everywhere we go now and everything we watch.
Anything she wants, there has to be a bad guy in at because she resonates way more with the bag. She's a bit evil, this child. But I am concerned that she's going to start to like the bad boys as she gets a little bit older.
Which scares me because how is she at daycare? Very good question, Mike, Lola has a little crush on one boy.
There is a boy I willn't remain nameless, of course, yes, but I mean it's so far, so good.
I haven't met the little trouble maker yet. Well, mate, that's why if you went in there instead of asking you about what they're having for dinner. You'd maybe me get to know him, but I'm like, oh, I don't know.
It's like the first taste of one day she's going to grow up and bring a boy home, and like, you've got double the trouble.
Okay, so happened to me, oh recently? Yeah, I don't want to say which child it is. It was Marley. For those of you wondering, she's five. So she came home five and a half. Sorry, yes, thank you for the correction. She came home and she's like, Daddy, I'm getting married. Oh my god, sorry, daddy, I'm getting married. That was so wet. Ash ordered some sweet potato fries, which is bad for two reasons. One they both make us very sleepy and two they make you very gassic.
It's not that it's the Christmas Ham? Did you have Christmas Ham this morning? Also, it's November. It's November.
Christmas Ham is available all year out. It's just it's just so called Christmas ham. It's just called get this ham.
Why are you calling it Christmas ham?
Because we're leaning into Christmas, trying to get festive, trying to get the spirits.
Just shoot me. Okay. So Marley's come home and she's like, Dad, I'm getting married. And I was like, whoa, whoa? Slow down? He didn't ask me from a mission, and I was like, who is it? She told me his name and I was like, who is that boy? I was like, I couldn't remember who it was, so I had to go through the daycare app. So you stalked it and I was like, is he talked him? Like? It's an Instagram model? You let me go deep into the archive. I was. I was like, is this here? And she says, no,
it's Rupert. I was like, okay, is this here? No, that's Timmy. Okay. Found the guy and I was like, hey, he's all right, he's okay, Okay. I don't hate him. I love him. And I was like, why this again? This is opposite to Macy. I was like, why do you want to marry him? She goes, because he's really nice to me. That's lovely. But you they're the one you got to look out for, right right? So I was like, how are we going to do this? And
she goes, I want to write him a letter. She's really into She like can write a few words, and she's like, I want to write him a letter. She's a secret genius and pulls out like a feather and I was like, what is name? I haven't told her name? Okay, yeah, Rupert, I love that, And they what do you do? You luss over me? Mally May Johnson pretty much? So she's like, I want to give him a card, and I want to give him a gift. Okay, so all good gifts
for five year old. So I've got some lollies give him that I think she had, like a mini slinky? What are the ones that you get from like, you know, the birthday party bag? Very dangerous, but also I had to smuggle these things in. Remember we can't have sweets at school. Yeah, did you ask April friend of tips on that, No, I should have. I should have. She
would do really well in prison. So we've written this letter, We've got the lolly, we've got the toy, and she goes, I want to give it to him as a gift in the morning and then let him know that I want to marry him. And I was like, great, I'm in on this, perfect And I said, do you want to put all that in your bag and then give it to him or do you want to like, just do you want to hold it? And she goes, I
want to hold it all. Okay. So that morning, we're a little bit late going to daycare and by the time we rock up, all the kids Normally when we drop the kids off, they're kind of playing like it's playtime, so they're playing like in the corners or whatever. But because I've rocked up late, all the kids were sitting on the mat in a circle, right, And I said to Marley, I'm like, hey, you don't have to give it to him now, because you know, I know, I
know it's nerve wracking, that's it. So we can put it in your bag and then we can give it to him later. But she was pomped, okay, so pumped, so she got I want to give to him now. Nice. Marley is absolutely shitting herself. She's so nervous, Adam, because all the kids are like, Marley, what's that? What do you got in your hands? Does she? And also does she have enough for all of them? Not all? She's
got one for them to marry, that's it. And I'm like, Mary, we can just we can put it back in the bag like this is like with pull the pin and then She's like, no, I want to do it. So nervous goes up to him, hands it him, and everyone's like, oh my god, what is she doing? Anyway? I was like, I just left it to it, right, What did she say? I didn't. I didn't hang around for that. Oh you let it look okay. I put a bag down in
the locker. I got out of there. I had to tell the teacher because the teacher was like, oh, that's contraband. And I was like, so sorry, you just do what. It's under the sandwich and a lunch book. Okay, So did you fill you in like later on? Yeah? I picked her up, okay, burst into tears. What happened? He said, I don't want to marry you. I'm too young. That's fair, that's fair. Yeah, he could have been marrying into a very powerful family.
I could have a house and other Dolly, you don't know that. The thing with like gifting, like Oscar. We went to a birthday on the on.
The weekend and straight away they've got no chill, these kids. So he was like, I want to.
Hold the present to take it fine, no worries, and neighbor was like yeah, but when we get there, we'll give it to you as soon as you got there. That his main priority is to have the gift. When he's walking into give it to the boy, like there's no chill. And then it's like the mom of the kids, like, oh, I put it over there with the other presents, and I was just like, what do you mean?
I wanted him to open it so that we can play with it together. It's story that one. I've got a fart again, go out, No, I refuse too fair, I haven't smelt one. Yeah, I'm very wet. I would throw this pillow out. Done on the pillows, bro, Sorry.
Christmas ham gets me every time. Honey, saltiness the Brian. Those parts are briany anyway, Okay, come on, okay, Matthew, let's play a little game we liked to call parenting hack or fuck that.
As you know, with your girls, you don't cut their hair. Do You did do a fringe? But how did that go? Really good? Yeah? I did it well. Bangs? What are bangs? Have you ever seen my mother in law's hair? They're bangs. It's like like a fringe.
Right.
What are they called bangs? I don't know. I've always been confused, people mentioned bangs, and I'm like, oh, I did buy these fringe and I tried to do Lola's fringe, which she freaked out last minute, so I didn't do it.
Yeah, Oscar's a nightmare. Do you know my mother in law has had the same haircut since she.
Was a child. Mix it up, mix it up. So tell her that it's Meredith. But she does. She does look great, she does if she's listening, she does.
I wanted to show you something that I've just can't stumbled across because Oscar touch or go when he cut his hair, and as well as right, you think that, but how do you scarm to sit still? Also, every now and then he gets he's scared of the clippers because of the noise.
Yeah, and like sometimes he's fine. I've got to bribe a lot. But I've come across this. I thought it was genius.
So it's a little boy and they put a they put him in a cardboard box, essentially cut a headhole.
I'll be honest, that looks like torture. I imagine if you were doing that to Oscar and someone came over unexpected, how would you explain that? I would say, this is what you call a Berenty hacket, I mean traumatic for the child. Yes, effective at haircuts.
Absolutely, it's like essentially it's like a cardboard box straight jacket.
It's very good.
I also like the clipp that they've got seems to have some sort of and I don't know where to get this from, has like a little vacuum on the front of it.
Very good. So it's a double. It's a double. In the one video, I love how there's like a big foot saying like do not do not stomp on this. Very good anyway, So hack or that's a parenting hat. Thank you two from two for me. Very good from you. Yeah.
Do you know I had someone reach out to me. You know, last week I did the the ziplock bag over the hand yeap one. Someone messages me like DM me and like.
That's not you Like when I break when I used to break.
Bones and had the cast, their parents would wrap their whole arm. It's in a plastic bag.
I'm not making money from this, bro, I know. Yeah, I'm not selling ziplock bags.
All right.
I have a long listener question here, all right. This one is from Britt. Hello Britt. She says, I have a four month old, and I've caught up on all of your apps. Now, oh wow, I know. Well, it's impressive. I will probably be in the top three percent for the upcoming Spotify wrapped for twenty twenty four. We'll wait and see. Britt confidence very little, Arrogan. We love you, Britt. Sorry, you always let me laugh, and I love your guests too. This is it's very self indulgent for me to read this.
I'm liking it. I had awful pregnancy with my son. I had enough about that. Get back to us. Hyper Excuse me, Brett, I apologize, I'm butchering this message. Hyper hyper messis hypermesis gravidarum. That's Latin for something else that's got to be Latin. Well, she says, it's basically vomiting and nausea the whole time. Despite this, just say vomiting and nausea the whole time. Despite this, my baby is ridiculously cute, so of course that makes you want to
have another one. So if we did have another one, it will be carefully planned. We are about it the pregnancy part, but very good at the conception part. All right, alright, good on YouTube. Well done, Brett, which is why I'm asking this silly question, what season do you think is best to have a baby? And she goes on to add, we had a winter baby, which was nice with all the cuddles and layers, So I can't imagine having a summer baby. But can you tell me what you think
is the best season for having a baby in your experience? Well, actually been pregnant many times, not me personally, but my wife has many times. Two times. I've only had sex twice too, when was Maci born. Start with my eldest.
Eldest's winter baby, June didn't enjoy that too cold, But also we didn't realize how cold our apartment was at the time.
Because when you don't have a child, and as it is you two, you're like, might just check another layer on? Simple as that. What about what about pregnancy? Then you would have been I guess you would have only just been had a little taste of pregnancy during summer.
Yeah, early on too, because it's like six that it'll be the third like the second and the third month would have been in summer. But then she's not overly uncomfortable.
But for April being pregnant throughout like March, April fine, fine, enjoyable. I wouldn't say enjoyable. Is it ever enjoyable? I mean I don't know.
Either.
Should we housecape? Yes? For those listening and don't know. April is my wife and hello darling. She had said, are you guys recording it? No, it's only our job, babe. But we had a list of question about the best season to have a baby. I know the exact answer to that. Take it away exactly what we called you both. As you know, Matt and I have never been pregnant. So what I would say, springtime the best season to have a baby for multiple reasons. Go on, A couple
of go on. So I would say it's a little bit more much during the evenings, especially when you're getting up in the middle of the night. You're not that heavily pregnant throughout like a really hot summer or anything. You're just heavily pregnant through winter, so it's nice to just rug up. And when your child is going to big school, there's no well should I send him early? Should I send him late? You just there's only one option. So there's my top three reasons for springtime. I am
glad you're here. Yeah, we were just struggling with that one because we thought we don't know. But no, that's very good. Any other questions for April while we've got it, man, I'm good for now. Thank you, April. Well, we'll bring you back if we need anything else. But we appreciate that you really got us out of a jam with that one. I'll tell you what I make. You didn't want to get home as sound appreciate it. I've already pre cooked my own meal. But that's okay. Did you
pre cook me one? I didn't know. I'll just go to fuck myself. They okay, good night, I mean bye, Britt. I really hope that that answers your question. Thank goodness for April, and over the last few weeks she's been very helpful, very helpful. Share about your dinner. Sorry about that? Just opens the doors opportunity for what I'm going to have? What are you going to have? Cereal leftover zereal?
Okay, next question, this is from Jen, and Jen wants to know who is entitled to visit your newborn baby in the hospital.
For you just give him birth. Ye, people want to visit you, some people do, some people don't. Look my opinion on this is probably a little bit different to Laura's. I think childbirth is one of the absolute miracles of life, Ash and I wouldn't want to restrict an opportunity for anyone, anyone, every man, woman or child to be a part of that process. I think if you ask and there's space. I made a mistake when it came to Marley's childbirth, Lola. We were in COVID so it was just there was
no option. It was me only with Marley. My mom was like, can I be in the room delivery. I would say, yeah, you can be there? What My memory is a little foggy, but I remember just saying yes. And then I remember at the time, this is my mother to Brisbane, and I think I just said to Laura, like, oh, and by the way, I've got that meeting tomorrow at midday and my mum's going to be in the delivery suite. I got two tickets to the delivery too, going once, so she was there and then but also we had
some complications. Marley was posterior, so head down facing the wrong way, and we were in the public hospital down the road at the time. There was an obstetrician who was on call. He came into the room, and then not long after that, there was like a group of doctors. They were students. They oh, that's right, I think you told me this. And then next thing, someone says, do you mind if I come in with a students? They just wanted to observe what's happening. There must have been
about eight of them plus the teacher. I said, sure, come on in the more than marrier. And next thing, Laura was kind of looking at me and there was like fucking twenty people in the room, and I was just like, you're doing great, Bay, you got an audience, now keep it up. An hindsight, yeah, probably shouldn't have done that. No, I would say, not your best move. I'm an inclusive kind of guy. You were just like,
who else wants to come in? But then I think and then childbirth afterwards, we kind of like we didn't stay long in the hospital. We kind of got the hell out of there same day. We had one night. One night, yeah, and then and then Laura was like, I want to go home. We were there for like a week, but then April had the sea section se section, so he came to visit. You guys, April's mom and dad. My parents lived on the Gold Coaster.
That wasn't going to be immediate like with this is with Oscar, And because we didn't have we had a date in mind.
It wasn't a planned sea section. It was an emergency. She just went into labor and it was just like my parents just wanted updates here and there.
April's mom and dad were around, so they were the first on scene, I would say, And then over the next corresponding days, none of my family came, hm and they were just like, I'll just give you a space and then we'll come over, come over the house when you're back.
And I think that's appropriate too. Sorry, I'm trying to I've got a burp and a yawn, but we're just starting now to get a few whiffs of your farts from before. Yeah, from the pillow. They're making their way down straight. I don't know, embarrassed, But we did have one family member who shall remain nameless.
Just turn up to the hospital. Obviously intentions were good. Yeah, right, they didn't come to harm my child. They've come to welcome a child. They had balloons and all sorts of shit. Bearing gifts, yeah, bearing gives, which is great. But inappropriate to turn up unannounced. Yeah, And I was pretty polite, and I sort of thankfully grouped this particular relative in with April's parents and saying, look, April's just she needs some rest now, so it's just and it's not really
appropriate to go in and see her. They take that fine because they grew them together, and I was I was honest. I could have been like, get the hell out of here.
What an Anyway, I think I think grandparents sweet and Annie and Annie and uncle. That's probably about it. And maybe a strong maybe. Oh, it depends how closeure.
Like my sister and I are really close, so it'd be like if my sister was like, hey, I wanted to come and meet little Gertrude.
I'd be like, come on over. But yeah, I think that's about it.
Like we stayed in hospital for a while and there was like other patients, my new mum, and there were some big, big gatherings going on, like it's also what do you mean?
It's also probably.
Cultural too, I would say, like I don't want to Yeah, it was just like smashing plates, like it's a Greek wedding.
It was like what is on baseball flying? What's what's going on over there? What was the biggest gathering you saw in the hospital?
There was an islander family how roughly how many sixteen fish? Sixteen to eighteen?
That's beautiful? Was singing? What? Yeah, it was annoying, but anyway, No, it was lovely for them. I think like, if you marry.
Into that family and then that's what you end up with, you'd be like, but thankfully not for us. We were tucked away in the corner nicely, and I think it ended up just only.
Being my mother and father in law. They really visited this, and you know what, that's fine as well, that's fine. Yeah. I don't think the Islanders were looking at your little gathering and be like, oh, that's so sad, bud. They've got no family or friendie. Oh and one most thing before I forget ash, it's here. It's happened. The sexiest calendar, second sexiest or just now the sexiest is now the sexiest. It's the raunch sexiest, then draw play.
Do you think I think it's let's say it's not sexier, let's say it's raunchier.
It's because it is, of course called the raunchy. Ranch five pre order is available right now. We'll put the link in the show notes. But for this calendar, it's very exciting because we are supporting an amazing charity called Rise Up. They support victims of domestic violence. So one hundred percent of proceeds will be donated to that charity. Yes, Matt, one hundred percent, which is fantastic news. Did you say one hundred percent? I said one hundred percent. I meant it. Yeah.
Available for pre order now. It will be dropping very very shortly. It's coming hot off. The print's get around it. Oh, the dog's now farting in front of me. Bus has just dropped his guts. Yes, bust, let's get you out of here. Yes, I need you out of my house. Sorry, sorry, that's fine, that's fine. If you enjoyed this episode or any episode, we would love it if you would subscribe. Review. Yeah.
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We pay our respects to their elders past and present, and extend that respect to all Aboriginal and Torrestraight Islander peoples today.
This episode was recorded on Gadigal Land.