Two Pumps This Time: Episode 28 with Joe Gatto and Steve Byrne

If there was a problem, where to your mother.

Hello everybody, welcome to a brand new episode of Two Cool Moms.

I am Joe Gatto, Steve Byrne.

Thank you so much for doing We're here at Two Cool Moms.

Two clips, two claps.

It's like the Chacha Slide.

I was speaking to Jiggy about it. I actually I just when I flew to Nashville today. You'll enjoy this, I opened up.

Let me be the judge of that.

Okay, don't don't just know what I shouldn't project. Yeah, okay, let me tell you a story. You let me know how you feel about it.

At the end. I decided that we saw.

Talking about the Chacha Slide on the plane for some stupid reason, and I was like, it's basically an instructional video and it goes on for about eight minutes the song.

So I decided to play it.

As we were walking through the airport from our gate back to the baggage claim. And you'd be surprised how people went from annoyance to participate participation. As we were walking, it was it was bellowing through the things. And then he just tells you two stops this time, and that's it. It's like he runs out of stuff because if you listen to his voice when he's singing, when it's time to go, he goes reverse reverse, you can hear like

He's like, two stops.

Well, the thing I saw it was was funny about that song is that he's, like you said, it's an instructional video. He's telling you exactly what to do on the dance for And when you're a DJ and you're performing at the club there's a bunch of girls and the song's a hit, You're gonna go back to the bedroom with the girls. Two stops, put on your pants, you take it down real look, two pumps this time?

Three pumps is everybody clap your cheeks and reverse. That means your uber's outside. Go home.

That's it. We're done.

Okay, we did enjoy. That was great. Say I told you, I knew you. You're right, you did it. How are you doing.

I'm great.

You look tann you look good.

I'm a little tanned. Yeah. I had some outdoor time. Was just no Orlando.

I had a little bit outdoors he times and uh, you know this Sicilian skin sucks up the sun the olive oil skin, you burn.

Or you know you just see burn, but do you burn and burn?

No?

I had sun poisoning once because my folks I went to Uh, I was in Hawaii and my parents drop me off at the beach. They go, oh, we got to go back into the airport or something and pick somebody up.

I go, okay.

I was at Hanama Bay snorkeling the first like literally get off a plane from Pittsburgh.

Now I'm snorkeling.

Six hours I was in the beach, just like snorkeling, going around. I spent the next three days in the hotel room with blisters sun poisoning, watching a road rules marathon for two days in it just bed and like shaking like, oh my god. So that was the only time I ever got burnt. And I was like, okay, yeah you sunscreen.

Yeah idiots, you know what. You know?

What I find is such the biggest crock of shit from the whole sun's screening industry is the aloe after you get burnted, Like, just put aloe on you just I love the feel, But you just become a greasy sunburned thing.

Like that's all that does.

I don't buy into the aloe as a healing prop.

You have to moisturize though, for sure. You have to.

I mean, I'm not an idiot. You want to be amazed, feel my hands.

My field, feel real. You never worked a day? Have you ever had a blue cup? What's the most blue collar job you've ever had? I was a stock boy.

I was a stock whye party City for three years.

You're not hauling ship.

No, dude, John Halloween's John Halloween. I was hoofing candies. I was hoofing some candies.

Oh yeah.

I was going from the trailer out back in Staten Island, Okay, And I was coming through the dirty back alleys and I was Jimmy johnn and in the bags of the mixed candies.

Yeah, don't make it seem like that's I was.

Also sixteen hour shaving of my life.

You're selling bags that fill off the one for them island.

Yeah, I told you that about that.

No, actually really I used to steal the boxes out of the trella and sell them at Monsieg Faraoh Catholic Boys High School.

Really.

Oh, come on, guilty discharged. That's thirty years. That's thirty years, right, there's statute of limitations. I'm safe, right.

Because that stuff still happened, Oh for sure.

Right, Yeah, here's the whole fat screens falling off the truck and all that.

You know, what's really makes a different technology with the ability to track inventory really probably had to put a dent in.

The illegal businesses. Yeah, I think that's probably tough.

But what's the what's the shadiest thing you did in high school?

Well? I was big into sales.

I was a salesman, so I used to uh at party City they actually sold they sold multipacks of water guns. Was a little mini water pistols, right yeah, And I was basically an arms dealer in Monsigne Fara l. I used to sell them in the link area for a dollar each. I stole the bags and it was.

Twelve in a bag.

And I used to selling for a dollar reach and it was three hundred boys in to Once in Your Fire high school, and I would sell them for a dollar each.

And I probably sold out every time I did. I probably make it. Yeah, it was great.

And I used to stow these little water wars and everybody would shoot each other in school.

See you're a big time I'm pretty big time.

Yeah.

I was an arm stealer. That's so funn How about you? You got something?

I I know, I just remember I was thinking about this the other day. I remember stealing a dig Tracy computer.

Oh yeah, the watch thing.

Yeah, yeah, when I was in high school. I saw it. I was like, that looks fucking cool.

I'm sixteen, Why would I want a toy? And it was like a drug store, like a CVS. And this I take it and I'm kind of looking around. They had the angled mirrors at the time, do you remember.

And that was that was a surveillance.

Yeah, that was their surveillance.

They don't cameras then, right, So I'm looking up there and uh, of course what I don't realize is that, yeah, I'm looking at the angle of me, but the register could see another angle. I'm a fucking idiot. But anyways, I got away with it. But I remember this kid staring at me. He must have been six, and he was in the stroll and his mom was grabbing something and I take it and I eye contact with the kid as I put it.

Under and then I walk out and I got away with it.

But that was like, did you give him like a signal, like you say anything? And it's I kind of thing. So I broke the six year old's neck.

I walked by the cart and go, I'd sleep your next mom.

But that was that was like the worst. It was like the worst I went to.

They had a store cow door, which is basically just like a kmart or like one of those like big you know, big box discount stores. It was called the cow door, and my dad had this thing all the time when he used My dad was super tall and walked with confidence all the time, and he would always steal hats like Fedora's. Like he put on a door when he was in the store, walking around with it, keep it on and then just walk out with it. Really, and that's what he would do. It was like his thing,

I want to be?

Like my dad's away in call door and I walk were walking around and I stole a CD, a music CD. I put down my pants. Will Smith's parents just don't understand, and I put it in front of my pants because I really wanted to CEV. My dad wouldn't buy for it. So we went outside and we're getting in the car and I went, Dad check it out, and he went what And he wing back and made me put it back, and the whole time he had a stolen the door on his head. Serious. God, yeah, I'm not like I

I think, like coordinated mischief.

Yeah, according to mischief. I think people looks at me for the plan, if you will, what was.

The what was the biggest plan? Didn't then.

I was like the what was his name?

Hannibal Cupcake, chub Rock, what's his name? Hannibal give it for him?

Face Hannibal, Hannibal, Hannibal Barus, Oh my god.

And then face face face.

There was one more murder Murdoch. What was b A B A Brocks? Yeah? I love that show you watch I grown up loved.

It, absolutely loved it.

I remember Thursdays. It was Thursdays, right, My uncle would uh when he would staying with us at the time, we would go get cartons of ice cream, whipped cream, sprinkles like the whole nine, create like an ice cream buffet and then watch the A team together.

What was the main guy's name? The leona was Hannibal?

No, yeah, Hannibal.

Yeah, yeah, you're right.

I love what was crazy?

Hannibal was a crazy guy?

No, that's mad Murder mad Murdoch.

And then who's face ol face.

Face, where's the guy from Battlestar?

Did you did you like to reboot of that movie? Did you see that movie?

Don't ever bring it up again?

Okay, uh, just like I don't want to say here you say Western Nayaka, did you did you if you have to quit yourself to one of those people, who would you be on that team?

Do you think.

Well, that's a good question.

I'm going to tell you who I think you are and will say both on the counter of three.

Okay, I'll tell you who you I know who you are?

Oh who I am?

Oh? Yeah, one two three Hannibal? Right, Hannibal. No, I would say you're a hannibal.

I know.

I was saying with who you thought, Oh, I think you're a hannibal.

Okay, And I think your face you are, You're charming, You're schmammy.

Are you like not like face man?

Baseman was like, I am a suitable like in the in the group of people I hang out with, Yes, some face man, right, but if you were to put me next to Bradley Cooper or right who played but you know, if you.

Put anybody next to Bradley Cooper though, let's not.

But still there's like there's like symmetrically perfectly lined face.

No, I'm not talking about your face. I'm talking about the embody, but face.

It's kind of important that an awesome face like Christian Ronaldo's face man, Leonardo DiCaprio's Brad Pitt's faceman.

Yeah, that's true. Brad Pett is well, Brad Pitt's characters and notions lemons very much face.

But here's the thing for you. I mean, if your your qualities, though, do you embed the most qualities. I'm like, I think I'm a mix between Hanibal and Murdock because I'm a little batch of crazy.

But I also have a Yeah, you're a leader.

You are a leader. Yeah, you like leading the cause I do.

I do, But I'm no BA. I got no BA skills. I have no strength and or driving ability.

It's kind of like when you play a video game in the eighties, you could choose four guys and they all have you know what I mean, they all have those different qualities.

Yeah.

Yeah, it was like the bars filled up. It's like this one has endurance.

Strange yeah, but b A.

I remember it was just like every episode they'd give him something to drink and then he'd pass out and then he'd wake up on the plane, like after the flood. It's like, wouldn't you catch on it? Even like at ten, I'm like, wouldn't you catch on at this?

Oh?

He doesn't get it?

Yeah, he never got it.

Yeah, I love that show. Buck Rogers was one of my favorites.

Remember that Buck Rogers.

Jared Williams and Linda Gray or Aaron Gray.

Oh my god, I did enjoy Looney Tunes Duck Rogers when Daffy Duck played Buck Rogers, and that was one of my favorite cartoons.

We did Duck Rogers and the thirty fourth Dimension or whatever he said it was.

I love that my son just went down a Looney Tunes rabbit hole because on HBO Max they have all the old schools yep. So he just loves it now. And so I put it on and he is entrench and all that, and you watch, You're like, wow, this is really I took it for granted as a kid, and then you get in teenagers like we got we got SpongeBob, we got this, And then you watch it's like, man, it's fucking hilarious.

It's the writing apps she had.

Yeah great, hey you're next. Yeah, so next. That's one of my kids sing all the songs together. But I remember some of my most vivid memories were definitely laughing around at the TV my oldest sister, Gina and my mother.

My mother and father was with Looney Tunes for.

Sure, and so much so that when I grew up, my finnity for Luoney Tunes continued in college when I had a eighteen inch magnetic decal of Bugs Bunny that I slapped on the outside of my car.

I was in college, mind you still I had I.

Had it on that and I had it on my turquoise turquoise saturn.

I had Bugs Bunny on web site.

It was great, right, and one on that side on the other side was Wiley Coyote and I thought I was I thought I was the cat's meaw man.

Were you an assistant manager at Spencer Gifts? Like?

Who? That was a dream job?

Oh back in the day, do you remember do you remember late eighty Spencer's early ninety Spencers?

Forget it?

I mean, come Christmas time, It's like, no, give me the money, I'll just go in there.

And there was a there was a movie.

It was like the Sunset Hollywood Company or something like that, and they just sold DVDs and VHS's.

Do you know what I'm talking percent I know the logo right away, Like that was.

The greatest store to me.

And then came like Virgin Megastore which had everything but I forget the name of that store, but they had movie memorabilia kind of like cool choch geese and stuff and every film you could ever think of. They had all the posters, every mall.

It was it was love that I love it. You know what?

You know what store came in hot that people would do a lot of brows not buy was Brookstone, Right, do you remember Brookstone? You'd walk in that Stone, you'd want every right, you'd want everything. You don't buy anything, you want everything in the store. You'd never buy anything from it.

And then your lazy friend sits in the massage chair while you're looking at like Drone Hill.

It was only only once I sat in the chair. Okay, you don't have to bring it up here.

On the podcast. Let's start.

We decided to do something a little different this time. We were gonna actually we're jumping in.

We're jumping in live.

We haven't pre vetted, pre vetted them. We just were like, you know what, let's do it true. So we're gonna jump in a little prevatting.

We're here this week in Nashville because a good man Joe is directing.

I feel I'm super psychic. I can't wait for this thing. We're gonna tear this thing up.

You're gonna you're gonna watch some old school Carson.

I got some great ideas. It's great. I love it, but I love it's gonna be fun and you're gonna be funny.

I'm gonna be funny. Great, that's that's the uh, that's the hope.

Right, yeah, be special.

Let's let's as soon as I saw this, this comes this jumps out at me. Okay, well, okay, this from Alec again. We're going blind A L E C A L E C.

Nice Alec. Okay, here we go. Uh. I want I am wanting to get a new pet. This is why I clicked on it.

But I can't decide between a hedgehog or a pigmy goat.

Okay, let me tell you about a pigmy goat. And here's the good thing about pigmy. Got some small goats that you can live in the backyard. Okay, I did some research. I was gonna get goats. Seriously, seriously, I was gonna. I was actually, we're gonna get both of these things. At one point I was gonna get adghog.

Gets a hedgehog, don't they have the fucking They.

Run really fast?

Now that's polky pines. Hedgehog is a cute lit ones that roll over on the belly them. They're fun.

So the hedgehog is like, they're like a hamster with a good haircut. That's exactly. They're like a hamster with they got a hamsterew with a hairdresser. That's what they are. They went to the salon. Yeah, so they're about that. They're about you know, the size of a hamster, a little bit bigger than you.

Could get a hedgehog.

They like they're in rodent family.

Really.

Yeah, they're playable. They you know, they hang out, but they do the same things. I run away and hamster he kind of deals. But a pigmy goat, Okay, you want to get sheep instead of goats because goats eat the grass from the root and sheep's grays from the top so the grass will regrow.

So if you get goats you can end up with patching lands. You don't want that. So if I have to go hedgehog, I would talk to you about your acreage. What kind of Yeah.

But the but the other goats, they're like.

Cute little we've seen a pigmy goat.

I think I like a pet, right, dude.

The cutest things in the world.

They are like friendly, they play with dogs, they're they're like they're a companion animals to horses a lot of times.

Really yeah, yeah, donkeys too, like smaller horses.

I mean, is the responsibility factor immense, like as much as a dog.

Pigmy goats way easier than a hedgehog.

Really yeah, pigmy got to eat grash, put him outside, they drink water. You have both for them, and then they're pretty self sufficient. But then you got all those fun hedgehogs. You gotta clean the cage and do all that stuff. You'll have pellets and stuff, but it'll be outside pigmy goat in the house.

I don't know how you do. That's why it comes back to a rich for me.

But I think, uh yeah, I love I love me a pigmy goat. I think they're super cute. You have ball's gonna be blown off when you see a picture of a pigmy goat.

By the way, you'd be proud to know this. Oh, here we go. I had a conversation with my wife.

Either way, adopt, don't shop, go adopt the pigmy goat or a hedgehog.

I don't know if you get brand I love it.

I was talking to my wife about a dog and the Australian Shepherd dog. I think it's the one I keep I keep like looking up and I saw one for adoption here in Nolan'sville and I was like, oh, fuck, I'd love to I'd love to just go pick it looked it was white with blue eyes and gorgeous. I was gonna fill out the form. I was like, I can't just go get it. My wife would kill me. So I started talking on sheet sheet adamant, No, absolutely not.

It's a lot. I'll go you right now.

It's a lot. Correct, it is.

It's a lot, but it's manageable, especially.

With older genre all the time. That's the thing she doesn't want you to she'll get protected.

This dog can protect your home, protect your woman while you're out and about telling yuck yucks on the road.

Who's home watching a lady.

This puppy.

This puppy is there protecting the house, woofing it up everybody in there.

That's what that dog's doing.

Yeah, okay, well, I mean it's also, that's a very intelligent that's a very intelligent breed.

Not to keep hearing. It's not too hard to train, like so it's all about training. It's all about teaching.

The dog what how to, like, respect the house rules, and you'll be fine. It just takes some work. But once you put the work in it, the work is done and then you just enjoy the dog.

The last three homes I've been to, the dogs have all walked over to me, sat on my lap or hung out with me. And the third one was the Australian sheep shepherd, and then another one was like a hybrid, like a small little kind of like mutt, and the other one was the same thing. At a radio station. This dog just hopped up my last I sat there the whole time and I was like, this is the coolest ever and I've always wanted one. I just never Also teaches your kids compassion.

It's great. Yeah, you kids, they learn a lot from onwing a dog and loving a dog.

I highly recommend if it's doable, and I think it's doable.

I think you're just making an excuse at this point.

Now, I mean you've looked at it, you found one, you like all signs of pointing.

To It's just I'm gone so much, and I does it off on what you're not going to be there. I got to get another Lexus.

It's goods, the newest model. I just can handle it. She's amazing.

She is the best.

But she she doesn't want to. Yeah, I get it.

It's just you know. And then last night I went to do a walk and it was like ten o'clock at night.

You wanted a dog with you?

No.

I walking out and my neighbor at least was across the street, and God bless her, She's like, she's standing there and I go, hey, how are you? She goes just wait for the dog to do its thing, And I was like, oh god, you forget about that. You know, you gotta go to bed, you gotta I gotta walk up before I go to bed. You wake up or the dog wakes you up, and then you got to take it out. I see people walking dogs on six or seven in the morning.

My house, not my house. My dogs are on a schedu.

They know they're on your sched to train them.

Yeah, you train them.

My dogs hold their peas and poops for almost twelve to thirteen hours, come on sweat again.

How many accidents do you have of the course.

Well, the old ones, they're shitting and pissing every They just go. They go where they're going to go.

That's part of giving them.

But I have like my my Core.

Six, Napoleon, Piscotti, Canoli, Tartufo, Struefelad like those guys. They all are just doing their thing according to the schedule. Sure, yeah, like Piscotti. Biscotti doesn't want to go in the rain. Piscotti will hold her potties on.

The rain.

When you'll pee and that Nightscott will hold it for a day. She just won't go out in the range. But yeah, yeah, it's great. And she won't have an acient in the house.

It's nuts.

And there's people like two days what she goes out. But I would say look into it, and I would say get a pigmy goat.

Those are my two advices.

I'm gonna see if this place still has that Australian. I will come up and then you go with me to Martha. We'll see and then you, uh, you talk to Jess.

I'll talk to Jess.

All right, all right, here we go, Oh boy, okay, there's a long one. It's coming to.

Us from c S or ce ce like see Lo Green, but just one E so no lo just see just see Yeah. Okay, Hi Joe and Steve. I need help with my own mom. I bought tickets to see a band that I really want to see. It's my favorite band, and she's trying to give me every excuse she can as to why she won't let me go. And they're non refundable tickets. I should mention I am twenty one, I live at home. I have no car, so I would have to use her car or my dad's to

That's very nice. I love you.

See here's the thing, go and Duber, what's that? Go and Uber problem solved?

My thought is why not bring your mom to the concert.

Oh, now that's a variable because my mom Paba doesn't like the music. If she liked the music, I think she represented that as a niche.

I mean, you're twenty one years old. You're twenty one years old.

I mean you got to ask your parents' permission or take their blessing for some things.

Going to a concert is not on that list for me.

If you're talking about picking up and moving cross country and not seeing him a lot or something big of that nature, I mean, going to a concert is crazy. You already pay for the tickets out of your own pocket. What you're basically she's saying is you can't bar of the car. If you break this down, what she's saying is you can't have the car. You'll get there on your own. You're twenty one years old.

Figured it out, yeah, figure it out exactly. Yes, I mean this is sixteen yeah, yeah, yeah. Of course you're living under her house, but you're still all.

Living under her roof and her rules and whatnot. But I mean, this does not seem like a house rule to me. And I'm looking at from a parent as well. If my kid is twenty one years old and I'm allowing them to live in my home and taking care of them. You know, I'd expect that they were doing their own thing and especially want to do something socially, unless it's like a Satan worshiping band and they're convenient

Yeah, I am curious. Why would Oh, who's the band? It's got to be.

That's a that's a good follow up question.

Who's the band?

She's not like you can't go see Bruno Mars like, of course, who is this? Who's thrusting the hips all over that inviting the devil in to dinner?

Who's doing that? That's what sounds like Mama Bear saying.

If you're twenty one you want to go to a concert, you folks say no, Look if you don't like it.

Move out.

Yeah, that's also twenty one another thing too.

Get a job, find some friends, find a home. These are the best years of your life.

Become a roadie for this band.

There you go.

Well the concerts say hey, I need help.

I got no place to live now, and I'd be a roading and they say, love you guys.

This was much.

I gave up my home.

Yeah, it'll work out.

You'd be surprised because the way for the follow up the band is probably so glossed and blazed and bombed.

They'd be like, yeah, you're gonna work for it if I go over you know.

Uh yeah, I mean I think that's my My thing is like find your own way there at twenty one years old, like you should be. You should be a little bit more self sufficient too, Like this is an opportunity to grow up a little bit.

So I would say, take it and grow.

Friend twenty one, I completely agree with you. It's uh yeah, it's a bit much.

What's the first concert you went to?

Oh, this is embarrassing. The first concert I went to. My father took me to go see Johnny Mathis at the Christmas Guy Smoke. It's in your eyes, Yeah, Christmas music. Yeah, it's so I wish it was cool. My dad loves Johnny Mathis. And then years later I was in first class and he was in the front row, right in front of me, and I wanted to I was in first class, did I mention.

That that's it?

And I wanted to.

I wanted so bad to take a picture with him and go, Dad, my god, look I got to meet Johnny Mathis, and I just I never want to be that person that I didn't do it, and it's one of those things I kind of regret, but because of the memory with my dad, I should have done it.

But that was my first show. Yeah, how about you.

It was an a collective one of those mixes like the jingle Ball concerts or whatever. Everybody was the headliner, and I think the headliner was it was late in the game.

I hadn't been to concerts in a while. Oh, this is a complete lie. I just remembered. I went to see.

Chicago That's a good one at an outdoor amphitheater with my friends and girlfriend at the time in high school.

In my life Yo Spells.

I thought that I was like.

We were laying under the stars, just looking up and watching and I was like, this is a perfect this is so romantic and everything.

I love it. I was in high school. I think we broke up three days later.

Yeah, those are all those are all slow dance tunes. Of course you need a girl with that.

And then I went fast forward. I went to see I went on a Power six trip. The Para sixes.

It was me and Bessie h when we were married.

Para six was me and Bessie when we were married, and my two sisters with their husbands.

The six of us will go away. So we went to the.

Para six and you know me, I make things happen. I was had too, called this team.

Ah.

So we went to Vegas and Chicago was playing and my sisters like, oh my god.

I was like, yeah, I got tickets.

We went and we watched and they did the first hour they played their new album and we didn't know one song and we just sat there and we're like okay, and they said they took an intermission. They came back and they crushed and played every song and it was like great, And I was like, we could have just missed the first part and it would have been fantastic. Like we were literally sitting there like it didn't even

So who is your Who's your favorite band?

Then of Imagine Dragons the show they put on. Oh, I took my daughter to the Imagine Dragons concert.

Oh my god. It was such an amazing thing to see her. That was her first concert.

To see her face.

We gotta go, man, we gotta go. There are boys I love them.

Yeah, when we go, his face completely lit up and she went absolutely nuts when she knew the song. She was singing along. She was six at the time, and she was like singing and whatever. And I was like, it was such a dad thing to be like, oh my god, I gave my daughter this experience and to be there for it is really cool.

But actually her first first conferencer was actually coolbe Kalay.

She was five, She was five months old, and me and Bessie had tickets.

Bessie loves Colby. I love Colby as well.

But she introduced me to her and I got tickets. I found out Colby was a fan. I was like, hey, she's playing at the Pier in New York. You want to go? And we had the you know, Milana, and she's like, I gotta get out of house.

I want to go. I want to go.

And she put on a baby born and we went and we went to the concert out on the pier and Milana was sitting there and they had like a VIP area in the back, and I faked my way into a pretending I was supposed to be the The guy didn't know me, and I was.

Like, oh, this is the VIP area.

He's like yeah.

I was like great, and I was like, oh, the kid, and he's like okay.

We just walked in and you know, we just sat there because it was far enough away and Cooley's you know, slower music and stuff, so it was really really cool.

I thought it was so funny that the time she came to your show, I think I were we doing a too cool?

Yeah?

We were doing it, yeah yeah.

And then we walked out to her bubblic hit Yeah, which I thought was so funny. I was like, Oh, this is this is kind of cool. I should do this more often, bring out like one of her tunes.

We should have her on this. She should be a cool Land.

I love it.

Yeah, she's in Nashville, next time through next Time.

I followed her after that show, and now every time I see her, it's like, maybe I should start working out too. She's always walking and hiking working out or like killing it with an acoustic version of that's all.

That's all she does. She hikes and kills things with acoustic versions. That's her two bodes of operations.

Worlds.

Yeah, well, did you see the video of her walking in the in the forest point of the guitar?

No? Really? Okay, two worlds? Were we good? Okay, let's do another one here? Yeah?

Okay again I'm reading this blind. This is coming to us from William. I made time stamps for episode twenty six. If you want to use them, they're in the comment section on YouTube. Just copy and paste in the description box. Okay, this is love you, mommies. I just caught up on all episodes.

Okay, so he made time stamps for us. What is that?

Timestam just means he put he put like so people can know what we're talking about at certain times, and they got click and jump on it, and he puts them in the comment sections, and so people don't have to listen to all the boring stuff and they could get to the funny stuff.

So that means they can click one or two links an episode.

Thank you, Thanks will William I appreciate you.

Appreciate that a couple ed of points.

This is coming to us from Homist Life had that fast forward.

Yeah, right, Manu, you just fast forward, especially like travel. I wish I could.

Oh yeah, okay, beautiful. Yeah, this is coming us from Alexa. Hey, mommies, I have kind of a serious dilemma. Oh, I love serious.

My my f twenty five. What does that mean?

I have kind of searing my my friend, my female.

Oh she's female, My female twenty five, she's twenty five years old.

Okay, and my boyfriend twenty seven hour are very much in love. He is perfect for me in almost every way. I just can't have him. I can't get him to have sex with me. For the first three months of our relationship, we were very intimate, but then the honeymoon phase passed and we will go months at a time without having sex.

This sounds about right.

I hate feeling like I'm begging for it or like it's one side, and he insists that he is attracted to me, but his actions say otherwise. I've had multiple I have had multiple talks with him and it's like he doesn't care or doesn't listen. I don't want to break up with him. We've been together for two years. But a girl has needs.

What can I do?

Sexy time in the bedroom issues? Okay, let's get into it.

So intimacy is a huge part of a relationship, and you need to connect on that level. If you're not connecting on if you're not connecting on any level of relationship, it needs to be addressed.

Right.

It seems here that she is tried to address it and it's not being listened to. So it's this you should use the same You should use the same exact mentality you would when you were bringing up any issue in a relationship and it's not being addressed, it means either the person doesn't care enough about it, or it's not an issue to them, they don't understand the importance of it to you, or it's just something they're not willing to move on, and you're going to have to

I think it just has to.

Do about you have a need in the relationship that's not being filled. So is this relationship right for you anymore? You've addressed it, right, she said. She talked to him about it, and he's not willing to do the holy poking turn himself around.

So that's what.

It's all about.

I think she needs to put her right foot out and just step out the door. And I think that's it.

Oh right, brilliant. I've never heard that because I mean the fact that you just bring this.

Stuff in and then keep going entern the right, that's right, that's where that's my instincts, Mommy, that's what I say.

I'd say Bang is his best friend or.

You know, you're getting your needs filled that way?

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, that's it. Here's what you could do, no Wi Fi from six pm to midnight.

That's a good idea too.

Then he doesn't have access to the porn and he's going to get his boxes and get built up.

He's gonna get built up.

Well, here's the Here's the thing too, is like, uh, is something distracting you make a good point?

Is something distracting him to get serious?

Or second it is something distracting him from the intimacy or is there they might be underlying underlying problem here that's not being addressed and ended is showing itself with a lack of intimacy.

I guarantee it's jerking chickens well, so to speak. Uh there there there are like numerous studies that have come out within the last you know, a few years. Here we go love when you have stats where Asian talk, you read a lot, you clearly read more.

Than but but they're basically saying that porn, the access to online porn is is ruining the intimacy. You have so many relationships out there, the physicality, especially on the guy's side. So there's a lot of guys jerking constantly to what they're seeing on the web as opposed to you know, refraining from it or limiting it or whatever. I know, I know some of my friends that I've had multiple conversations with that have named Steve, that.

That have like literally made it a mandate to be like.

I've got to withdraw myself from that because it becomes almost like a go to It's like, you know, if you.

Know every time you go to the gas station you're gonna get a doctor.

Pepper, it's like you're gonna do something else like Steve gas stations in all but but but yeah, it is an issue.

So I think there are times where guys think, Okay, if I'm going to, you know, be sexual, I'm gonna get out my laptop and watch something and jerk off.

How does she so, how does she How do you think she addresses that with him? Does she just call him out on that and ask him what is I think you just.

Have a very constructive conversation about it. I think you sit down and go, look, you know, is this something that's going on or whatever. The good thing is on her behalf is that she's communicating. She's trying to say, hey, let's get to the bottom of this because eventually, I mean, listen to listen to some R and B songs, what's gonna happen. She's got the itch and it's gonna get scratched, and that's going to do the scratching or is she gonna find somebody else?

You can't blame it because it ain't nothing wrong with a little bump and grind. They ain't nothing wrong with it. If anything has been told to us through R and B, it's ain't nothing wrong.

A little bump and grind. There ain't nothing wrong, nothing wrong with it.

Wo, who would who would have an issue with that?

Somebody who's not into the bump and grind? Yeah, and that's on them.

Uh Yeah, I feel like I feel like that's probably the advice that I would give. I think you just really need to do your best to address and when somebody is it not your in that you're in a relationship with, isn't meeting you at a place that makes you happy in that relationship, you have to decide if it's right for.

You, especially it's been it's been two years. This is not this is right?

Yeah, the way she was that it unpacked. It's like your first three months are great and then it's nothing. It's like that kind of happens down.

Of course, of course it's slow down.

And then you get a little complacent, and then you know, if it's been two years, that's not all.

The time thing.

Yeah, Okay, I feel like that was I didn't feel like we had did some good there.

That helps.

Tommy salute, Tommy, salute.

I hope that, uh. I hope that that that gets worked out for you as well, and that he's.

Give you something.

I hope you get what you need, get what you need, get what you need.

Yeah, what song is that?

Oh yeah, what is it? Oh? Where's jiggy Jiggy?

Oh yeah, I have no idea what you're talking about.

Dude.

You could do me in the morning. You could do me in the night. You could do me baked potato, do me. Oh yeah, it goes Oh yeah, you know it?

Oh yeah yeah, jm me do me babe, you know yeah, thank you. See I'm not crazy.

Second though, I love I love in because I'm easy.

Ah, easy like Sunday morning.

Easy like Sunday morn.

And here is this one part of this.

I don't know that was no about I didn't know that was about plowing on the weekends until.

Wait, that's what it's about, isn't it. No, It's just about taking it easy, isn't it.

Oh No, I'm thinking about Kumbaya.

What I mean, if I could be in the in the studio for any moment of music, and I'll tell you what it is.

Then when I say it, you're gonn one hundredercent agree with me.

It's Michael Jackson. When he starts going Mama, say Mama, my mama. They must have been like, what.

Is happening and they're like, well, okay, we're doing it right. It must have been insane to see that happen.

No one knows what the fun that is. Yeah, no one knows. He just says it. Yeah, I'm say mama, s oh my god, it's crazy. He is. My kids are obsessed.

You want to see the m J show, Yeah, saw it, And then we go down this rabbit hole watching YouTube videos and stuff. And what I love about Michael Jackson so many things. But but when he is uh at the end of songs, you know, Elvis, think, Thinker, Romotch, Michael.

Jackson's hey you, I love you.

And I love you and so now ken on to bed, I go, okay, goodnight, Kenny goes, I love you.

That's doing that, Michael Jackson.

You ever see those videos where somebody's like kung fu fighting and they insert Michael Jackson noises into it here.

That's hysterical. It's fucking I gotta see that.

That's so smart.

Yeah, he takes all the little sound clips quitsman kunkue bites.

That's so fun.

All right, you want to do it work?

That's my favorite though, like inserts of like a vocal that just.

Is a bullshit thing. But yeah, BBD was my jam back in the day. Okay, where are we here?

I'm loving it?

Here we go. This is coming to us from Kylie.

Kylie's got a question for them.

Big fan of the show.

Love y'all's work, YadA, YadA, YadA, all that ego striking bullshit on my question.

No, Kyleie, no more. And I'm not going to take the question until you tell me how awesome I we will wait you sorry, Now you gotta believe it. Okay, here we go.

Gotta cut out that whole thing.

Oh no, now I feel bad. Start again. Now I feel bad.

I'll cut it out. I'll never happen.

This is Oh now we're gonna get into it.

She's like my dog Cass cancer. Right?

No, am I right?

Something like that? Oh?

Is it heavy?

Okay?

Oh no, here we go.

I recently lost my mom and I've been trying to find ways to stay positive while mourning her. I'm someone who typically deals with grief through humor, and my mom was too. I know you both, law I know you. I know you lost both of your parents at a young age, Joe, and figured you might be able to give me some insight, some helpful insight.

Steve. I'm sure you'll add some useful bullshit there too.

She won your back to baby. Thanks for all the laughs. I love listening to y'all every week. Much love, mama is Kylie. Kylie, You're awesome.

I'm just sending you lots of love and good Mojoe.

Yeah, let's spend some time telling Kylie about how awesome she is.

Sent her.

We're not gonna yacht to Yan and give you the all praise bullshit.

I'm not going to do that.

This is a very very fun, very very fun comment and question. I love the way you phrase something heavy in a very fun way.

Much left to you. I know it's not easy.

I would refer to you on this, my friend, because.

Your parents are alive. Way to rub it in an asshole. It's like, Joe, your parents are dead.

I'll gotta go.

Hey, Mom, I love it too. Not now, I can talk to you anytime.

How are you so, I would say, I would say, grief humor go hand in hand.

Like you feel, I feel like you already have figured out.

I don't feel like I have to tell you anything. But as you know, I was one that I've always laughed with my mom and my.

Dad about grief and death.

And I've always found a humor in the moment and live life to your fullest. And people don't actually really die if they're alive in your heart and mind. And I really truly believe that I celebrate my mom and dad every day in my life.

I think about them every day.

So that's it's on you keep them alive in spirit and just keep laughing, find ways to laugh, find reasons to laugh. And you know, the more that you talk about them, I feel like the more that people think the more you talk about them, the more that you'll miss them. I find it the opposite. I think the more that you talk about them, the closer you feel to them. I speak about my parents all the time, and you know that's it joke.

I joke about them all the time. What's the what's the bullshit? You have to end?

Well?

I look, I deal with grief and death every night after a performance. So if you want to see grief and death, come to my merch table. You'll see plenty. But honestly, Kiley on behalf of Both the Moms, We're sending you a lot of love, keep your head up, and you know, I really appreciate the fact that you find some solace in the podcast as well. It's been damn fun getting to do this with Joe, and you hear this repeatedly even when I'm going out on doing solo dates.

I've been a.

Part of one, two, three podcasts, and this is the one podcast that has actually been beneficial for in terms of like ticket sales or people coming up to me after shows are saying, I listen to you guys all the time. It's been nice, really really nice, and so you hear personal stories from people and I really appreciate it.

And just like you, Kylie, lots of love to you.

Yeah sorry, my mom's face time in me God, Joe, Yeah Mom, Oh sorry, it's dad to see you next week on Two Dead Moms.

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