Naked Grandmas: Episode 11 with Joe Gatto and Steve Byrne

If there was a problem, where to your mother.

We'll let you know. We're ready, We'll let you.

I'm so very dropped an F. I'm sorry.

We can't put it on YouTube.

That's a record.

We can't put it on YouTube. I have to beat that. And you just gave me work.

Well you know where it is.

Well, you know what. We don't have a thing. I say, sorry, we can actually stop start again. You have to do there first.

All right, let's do it start again? Good you not?

It's your two cool moms. I am Joe Gatto. How are you there? He is? You gotta remember you can't do the F right away.

I can't do it. Okay, let's start again.

Then no, because I know what's gonna happen. What you're just gonna say fss. I don't have to.

You said that when you were a kids.

He said the apps, I said, mom, Genie said the f's.

Yeah, I would say the fs the is.

I remember, I remember, I remember the first time.

I do you remember the first time your parents said, like every parent does this where they make it okay for your to say a curse word.

Yeah, because it's so funny.

So I remember, I remember the first time like my parents were messing with me because I heard I heard them say a bad word and I was like, I can't say that word.

It's a bad word. And and my dad was like what was the word.

I was like, it's a bad one, and he's like, well, what is it?

And it was it was frig. And in my mind it was like, I was like, it was frig.

I remember that moment, Yeah, I remember it, like laughter, Yeah, every lost it because I thought freg was a bad word.

My my wife does work online where she's talking to people online, like couples and she's helping them. And my kids know that when she's on the call, they've got to keep it quiet and go on your iPad, you can go whatever, you just please keep a quiet. Mom's working, right, I wasn't home, so of course, you know, she gets knock on the door and she's talking and she's just ignoring it and you know, powering through, and then all

Then he sneaks back out and SLINKs out. She's like, I'm so sorry.

And then and then uh she reads the note and it says, uh, Livvy said shit and he misspelled.

Livvy misspelled said said shit was right.

Yeah, boy, shit was right.

So and she kept it on him, like you got to keep that because that's one of those things we'll always look at it.

I mean, that should be framed on the wall.

My son's first swear words that he said publicly, like out loud was after watching your movie when sal when the Tiger came into the hotel room and he had to say, I'm a baby bitch boy.

I laughed so hard.

My son heard me laughing hard, so he thought, oh, that must be funny. So he he burned in the hard drive and it was like, Daddy, I go wed. He goes, I'm a baby bitch boy, and I'm dying laughing, just like you can't.

You can't say that.

But every now and then he goes, he'll like pull me aside at lunch or he'll tell me.

He goes that, can I say it? I go, you can say it around me.

He goes, I'm a baby bitch boy, Like that's my boy. Yeah.

My daughter, my daughter is very nonchalant on saying the F word because she knows she can't say it, but she's saying it.

In a scenario where she knows she'd be able.

To say it, she would be like, uh, she'd be like if she telling me story, she's like, you know, mom, you know said a bad word.

I heard her before. She was like, Hey, what the fuck is that?

And I was like, we know, we can't say that word. Like just to just say it is more of the story. And she was like, and I know I can't say that, you know, like one of those.

It was so fully Hilary is seeing an angel, Yes, drop a f bo.

It's so great. But she's never two front teeth right now too. So it's the fun is that it's really funny. I Uh, my family always grew up cursing. Now.

My mom, well, my mom was like I said, but I always grew up a round cursing. And I remember, there is a time in your life when you're in your late teens where it's all right, kind of becomes alright.

To curse, it's okay to say.

And it's such a.

Weird thing because my oldest nephews and nieces are now like eighteen, you know, seventeen and twenty three.

So it's like they're adults. And I still when they curse, it's.

Like, feels weird to me see a fourteen or fifteen, sixteen year old.

I still remember my mother. My sister came home from her first.

Year not around them all the time, like the parent, the parents.

Yes, she used to seeing them, and you're still picturing maybe yes, the little.

The five year old on your lap or whatever.

Yeah, my sister was a freshman in college. She came home when my grandparents were over, and she's telling the story and she says, she drops an F and when she says it, my mother stands up and smacks her nineteen year old daughter in the mouth and don't say that around your grandfather.

Wow, isn't that crazy?

There's old school, right.

Yes.

Meanwhile, when my grandfather wasn't there, they're dropping f bombs back and forth to each other.

It's like it's Nagasaki.

And she she was like, just because she's in front of her father, my mom was like, do you say that?

Like it made her feel like she was a bad parent.

Meanwhile, back in the day, like when our kids say we're high five and I'm like, yeah, my son's called you a bitch boy.

That's right, maybe bitch boy. Yeah.

I don't know where that stigma comes from. I guess maybe it's an old school thing.

Yeah.

I try to around my kids. They know what I do for a living. They've heard and I'm not going to pretend that those.

Sports don't exist.

But I'm like, you know, you have to earn the right to be able to say those things. When that comes with times, Just relax, we'll be able to.

Down that ship. That ship's coming. You ever read that note out loud? Pretty soon?

Okay, well, let's get into it.

Here we go, Let's help some people.

That's why we're here. We're two cool moms, and today I think we're feeling a little extra cool.

I think we were dropping some cursed Yeah, get us some box wine after this.

We are blue right now too, we're popping the blues. You. I went for it.

You look like you just solve the crime on casual Friday.

That's what you do.

You like to I have some questions I'd like to ask you, Steve, where were you?

Yeah?

I look like you know, you look like right now literally literally, Okay, if that's what I look like you look like in movies when a little kid like wishes to be a grown up and all of a sudden they turn into one like that when he's still like, yeah.

Hold my hat, what for me?

Maybe that's exactly what you look like right now.

Like it's like he's like.

I want to be grown up so I can eat a hot dog, and when he's like, grew up, and you're like a little fat kid that grew up.

And I just ate all the hot dogs, doesn't he?

Look? What do you put a hat and a T shirt on? You look like a young and that's old. You're looking at olden? You do? You're a golden olden.

I had to did the double take on you, like wait, hold the way, not in a bad.

Way, but you look like a little kid that's playing adult.

Yeah, okay, I'll take it.

I guess like one of those movies, like like I could be I could be the bait on to catch a creditor exactly right.

Hey, I just made some lemonade cookies. Why'd you get in the hot tub?

Why are you talking like a newsy?

But they always hired those though, you know what I mean, the thirty old that's the fifteen year old.

You look like like thirteen going on thirty or big you know, Tom Hanks.

But you know what I'm saying.

Base goes down down baby dwn Yeah, sweetweet, baby Sweetweet'll let me go shim shimmy, Coco, sh sh rack him, shy go go Bob Shamy, sham me.

Roh my Dad's Friday. I don't know.

Oh yeah, I thought you know the rest of it.

I don't. I ended shimmy, shimmy, rock shomy, shimmy, rong. That's all I'll stand for.

Man A girlfriend, A trisk it, she said. A tris a biscuit ice cream vanilla on the top. Shelina walking down the street ten times a week. I said it, I'm in it. I saw Milmo's credit. I'm cool, I'm hot. Suck me the stomach one more time. Wow, I remembered it. That's I still love Big.

If you listened quietly you quit, you could hear everyone tuning out.

Here we go, well, well here, okay, let's sen you want to that whole thing.

That's crazy.

I just remembered. I used to love that movie your favorite face when I was a kid.

I've seen a bunch and I don't remember that like that.

What was your go to.

As a kiddies?

Goodies for sure?

Yeah, yeah, kid.

I mean everybody knows kung Fu after that movie in the park a lot.

See, everybody's going off for everybody wanted to be Everybody wanted touch mister Mayogi.

Yeah, touch me Mayagi.

It hurts. That was so weird he does that by the way he massages.

You're old a twelve year old boy and everybody he was an olden.

He was an olden. He was like you were thirty on him. You're the mister, cool moms, I'm Ralph Machi because Ralph Macha was like thirty when he was the Machi. H great form man.

That's I also hit my elbow and hurt myself.

Like Jason Stathum Bruce Willis. They're like on the poster and got all right, here we go.

You want some of this fresh biscuit.

It is coming to us from Owen Owen high. Cool moms. I was just going through some feelings and I have a.

Bad habit where when I get quiet, when I get nervous, when I get nervous or something, I think that my friend who was really close with read this wrong and thought I was ignoring her, but I couldn't bring myself to completely tell her what was going on.

I really want to get back to.

The relationship we had, but I'm not sure the best way to apologize. I've told her about how I'm trying to be better, but there is something special I can do. Is there something as special I can do for her to let her know I never wanted to hurt her. I'm a huge fan of the show and I love you guys so much. Oh and that's very nice, So hold on, Just let me get I was going through some feelings and I have a bad habit where when I get quiet, when I get nervous or something, he gets quiet.

When it gets nervous, he gets So he was going through his feelings, he got quiet. She read it as he was ignoring her.

How does he apologize to this behavior?

Yes, well, if it's your friend, just explain what happened. But that's going to bring up.

Why I get it, So that's gonna bring up ah well, while be quiet while.

That he has to get into explaining his feelings. That seems to be the path that he's going down.

So this is like a double whammy. Yeah, he's processing the feelings and then he's also like he's got a tough time expressing the feeling because.

Once you do that, that's that's a really hard thing that people don't think about. It is once you take your shot with your friend, that friendship has changed forever.

Yep, it's it's becomes something new.

It either becomes a romantic thing, or it becomes a different type of a different type of relationship, or it's just gets somebody's like this is too weird. I think he was that and they're gone.

So there is a big risk factor there.

And you always hear just tell people how you feel or you know, you can't hold that stuff in. And and I'm normally on that side of the camp. But there is something to be said of if you really enjoy the relationship you have with somebody, do you really want to risk it and lose it completely? Do you want to risk it a biscuit? I called the risk it a trisk it. And that's what I'm afraid of about.

Ice cream soda vanilla on the top.

Shimmy, shimmy. Rock is rarely what we're telling him. So I get what he's saying. It really is.

He's opening a Pandora's box here if he gets into the why he was quiet.

This is a lot more complicated than would let on. And now you understand why somebody would be a little more recluse to the situation.

Yes, but.

Yeah, look I would It's almost like i'd want to know more.

You know, have you found in your experience that when you had to apologize to a friend right that it's gone.

Well, well, look, accountability is key in that situation, but he.

Didn't do anything wrong. Let's read of a situation.

Yeah, I would be as forthcoming as possible. Yeah, And I would say, look, the president is the friendship.

You know, I want to remain friends with you.

Obviously, it's it's somebody special to him, So you'd want that to be the president the most important aspect of it all. But I think it's also like, look, you know, maybe you know me, maybe you don't know this about me, but when a situation, you know.

Bubbles up, I just get quiet.

I need to process this, and I'm not ignoring you, but you know, sometimes that could be a day, Sometimes it could be a little bit long.

I don't know. I'm just trying to get inside this Owen's head, but I would.

I'll say too that if you get okay.

So, like, I'm the type of friend that if I'm with my friends and I feel like something's wrong with a friend of mine, I'd be like, what's the matter, wh what are you mean at me about?

You're very intuitive, yeah, and I and I'll ask the question. So you could use that as a jumping off point. He'd be like, look are you mad at me? Because you also need to do a gut check. You might be doing this, You might be making this whole story up in your head.

You don't know, but like, are you mad at me about something? Start the conversation and take it from there. I think the first part is to have a conversation because if you don't address it now, it's just going to get harder to address him.

Yeah, it's a smart entry point.

Yeah, start a commo, like you met him about something name. She says, Well, you got quiet, Like, look, it was nothing about you. I was just doing with something. And you don't have to come all the way out and like I have feelings or whatever. You just be like, you know, I was just dealings with something that day, and I feel bad that I was like that, but you know.

How much I care about you, right, well, you're one of my best friends.

Yeah, and you can be done with it there, sure, Yeah, but I think you should address it because you'll feel better.

And it's also how big of a deal you make it?

Right, It's everything, everything is how big a deal you make it?

Yeah, it's like, are you willing to make this that big of an issue? And to your point, the longer you let it situate and sit there, the longer it's going to snowball, and then it's going to become some unbearable thing where neither person wants to address it. So I think the quicker sometimes you nip it in the butt. Usually, I've been in so many situations where I'm harboring this

Rrect you an idiot.

Then I am talking to my friends the next day, I'm like, look, I'm so sorry. They're like, no, it wasn't even that bade.

Yeah.

Sometimes it's always always yeah, yeah, think that makes sense.

So I would just start a combo and see where you're at to get a read the room, take a age.

I didn't mean to bang your cat like I just you know, just fuck I.

Told you, buddy, I don't even remember that.

Yeah, it's not a big deal.

That's not a big deal because I don't even remember it. Also, I don't have a cat, so we should find out whose cat was.

That's a cool all right here, Uh, here's our next question. I think it gets right to the point.

Is it me or is that crazy Shane?

That's that's it.

Is it me or is that crazy Shane? Shane's asking this is.

That's one hundred percent of the message that came in?

Is it mirror? Is that crazy?

I find most of the time, Yeah, it's you, that's not that crazy.

I think it's I think it's you, Shane.

I think I go on the other side of Shaane. I think it's fucking crazy.

I think it's that crazy.

I think it's that crazy. I mean, it wasn't that crazy, but you know it's Shane. Yeah, you're right.

You know Shane is Oh, I might flip. I might come to you.

I don't know. I mean, we all know Shane.

And Shane can Shane like what's normal for us ain't normal.

For Shane's operating at an eleven.

Shane takes it.

To another elevel.

So it's like Shane crazy. It's like, oh, you're right.

I'm gonna need a little more info.

Well I appreciated that.

A right, here we go.

This is coming to us from oh cass Hey, guys, just wondering what I should do to make my sister get a job.

I've been here before. She's lived with me for over a year.

I've been here before.

It has only worked three months out of that time. And I would struggle so much to pay the rent on my own and pay all the bills and support support uh, to support me and her.

And she's my sister.

We're close and I love her, so I kick her out, kick her out, but it's like she doesn't want to work. But all my savings are gone and I'm always in over draft and I can't even afford groceries.

What should I do? Have you been in this situation?

Never?

You have my little brother William Byrne live with me.

Bill billy Burn Billy Burns never called him Billy Burn. Poopsie is what he hates, and that's like a fine wine I bring him from the cellar ever since he was six, like little kids and poopsy he's like, but will live with me off and on over the years as he's getting his life situated. He's in a good place now, very happy for him. But for sure I was in this situation where, you know, my brother.

Did have an.

Excuse because he was suffering from PTSD post war, so you know, there was he was finding himself locked up in a room, and I think out of fear and for safety for himself, but there's also like like even as I'm saying this, it's like, oh my god, that's horrible.

Yeah, it's horrible.

For like three months it's horrible, and then like the fourth month, you're like, get the fuck out, go do something, get a job, get on with your life, go see help.

And so for me, it comes down to getting down to the root of the problem of what is it wrong? What's wrong with your sister, What.

Is preventing her from getting out there and having some gumption right, Because you want to be supportive, you want to be loving. Everybody wants to hurt their family out but at the same time, you also want to make sure that you know it's not her contributing to your rent, it's her being self sufficient on her own to know at some point we're not going to live together. This is not Laverne and Shirley. You know, this is You're gonna have to get out there and get on the horse.

Nobody's winning in the situation.

Nobody's winning in a situation.

For me, it's the biggest problem out of all of this is that the relationship will be destroyed.

By the burden she becomes. So once somebody becomes a burden.

To you, you don't see them any other way, but you have that kind of of that's the states the relationship.

That's the first step you're taking on that journey.

It's like, oh god, oh like even you know so, and the other thing like you feel like you're helping them, but the real way to help them is to make themselves sufficient, is to really like help them help themselves. So of course there's a recovery perioder this thing is like something tragic happens short. You know, you circle the wagons, you're with somebody. You know, we've all been there where you've leaned on your family for things like that.

But I think more so you need to be like, Okay, let's do this. And I think the main thing to do is make.

Not make her feel like she's alone, because a lot of it, people do so much more when they.

Feel like they have a cheerleader. They feel like they have so much more.

They'll get that touchdown when somebody scream from the sidelines, you know, because they know that people are in there.

Not always the case.

I have many broken furniture as evidence to show that that's not always the cage.

Ye, But I agree with you.

I think nine times out of ten in most healthy dynamics for sure. And that's why when I hear this, it's like that's not normal behavior.

Yeh.

Ninety percent of people want to go and stay with somebody and go, Okay, I'm gonna get my shit together.

I'm gonna I'm gonna figure this out. I've got to get a job, right, That's always where it starts.

I gotta get a job.

That's normal human beings the world.

You need money to exist. How am I getting money? That's literally the answer.

That's the first like to me, it's very curious to go, well, why why is she not working?

Why does she not have the gum shot?

And that's there's something back in the recesses that's preventing her from doing this. It's something more than just laziness, I think. So I would try to hone in on that, and maybe you need support from your folks, maybe you need support from her best friends.

I don't know what it is, but you need.

To crack that case first, and you know dependent how serious that is. I think then you slowly unpack it. Or it's one of those situations where it's the complete opposite. If this person's just lazy, it's like, go, you're not taking advantage of because you want to feel respected in that situation.

I think you're right. I think you need to find out the root of it. Why is this the situation? And then you could figure out your next step.

I do wonder though, would Shane think this is crazy or would Shane.

Think it might be her? She thinks it's her in this situation.

I don't know, Shane.

Shane is like, you're right, that is that crazy? You're right, Shane. Again, Shane is off the Shane unchained.

But to cast, what do you say to Cass?

I think I say, start the convo to get to the root. Why is the reason she's living?

Because this girl's savings are drained.

Yeah, she's got to do something here. She can't eve afford. Yeah, like she's overdrafted. Like that's not right.

Yeah, she needs to do something here to correct her, to correct her course.

Yeah, okay, this comes to us Emma, Emma rights. Hey guys, I turned twenty one this week and I still don't know what to do with my life.

I've been taking.

General education courses online since the fall of twenty twenty, but I don't know what to major in. My first loves are music in theater, but they're such unstable careers. I love animals, but couldn't stomach being a vet. I'm scared and discouraged. Any suggestions. PS, love you, Joe.

That's from Emma. That's very nice.

Thank you.

There's two moms.

It's a podcast and now you only get one answers from and it's real, I need to earn your loves. No, that's a that's a tough place.

To be, right, I mean that is when you feel like you have nowhere to go. That's hard. That's hard for sure. Yeah.

Yeah, and it sounds like look who doesn't look.

I think that there is that conundrum right of tipping the scales of you know, music, theater or something real and practical.

You want to get paid or you want to you want to get paid, or you want to do what your love is.

Like really, always at the essence of everything in lies the answer. I think sometimes because the people that know they want to do it again. I'll always go the people I know that are.

Professional stand up comedians, professional actors.

There was never question. It was like, no, I'm doing that. I will find a way to do that.

Absolutely.

It comes from the joy too, right, Like if it's what it's what makes you happy, and it's you're not doing it to get famous or do whatever like that. Always those are always the people that find success, right, that's the big thing, right to find success? What is it the money in your bank or is it being able not to.

Hate where you're going to work?

Well, to answer your first part, it's definitely not the money in the.

Bank for sure.

Uh I would I would probably just say and we get this is like a theme that gets covered a lot with us. But the big thing really is like, if you could do anything, what would you do, right, And if money's on an issue, that's what you want to do. Okay, So then you find that one thing, is it possible to live by doing that?

Yes? Or no?

If it's not, forget it and do something else. If it was, you know, go go try to make it happen.

I gotta be well.

I mean, this is kind of unpacking within our frame of reference because as I've gone on as a stand up, I started as a stand up, right, but doors have open and every time a door is open for me, I just said, all right, well, let me make the most of this opportunity to see what happens and per those opportunities. You know, I've written feature films and scripted.

You're starting show and then you directed a movie as a starting as a stand up. That's three major different that's three different paths right there.

And exactly each one of those would be a path on its own. But I was always open to a door opening. Now, now that's selfish to say, because it was within the realm or under the umbrella of entertain right. So per this individual, I would I would think that if you are kind of a blank slate, I would lean into maybe your strengths or your your true interest because then it won't feel as much of a job as it would be normally but you want to.

You'll also be more comfortable in your skin if you're doing something enjoy genuinely.

Yeah, I think so.

But also like.

Maybe there is that opportunity that bubbles up where you're like, oh, I don't know about that, but you show up, and maybe that turns into the thing that you're really really great at it.

Yeah, but I'll say this, the kind of person that writes this in though, is already you could already tell those prominles, because she knows that two people are reading this, and she only says chooses to tell one of them that she loves them.

Right, So if you love we just.

This is one cool mom and the other one and the other one, but put the other one.

I do think that if you're if you're writing into somebody, you should just at least say it, like or even address the other mom like, love you Joe, and you're pretty cool too, stee.

I guess, like, why isn't that in there?

It's only a couple more things, like you know the words she used leaving you out is not It's not the right way to do that.

Can we read the love you Joe party?

Yeah, p s, I love you Joe exclamation points and a purple heart like I'm a veteran stolen valor.

I'll tell you may never have defended our country, but you defended our friendship.

That's right.

And you.

Got you.

Emma, you sound you're still in college. Yeah, this is another thing. Go backpacking Europe. Yeah, you're supposed to be lost, Like, yeah, you're supposed to be exactly. I really, I don't know.

Maybe it's a recurring theme I always bring up, maybe because I travel so much as a comic. But I find solace in getting out there and trying to like.

Not nobody can hear it, but you.

Just open to Seltzer and it was squeezing out the carbonation and he did a slow.

He moved it away from the mic, but closer to us.

And did like a squirrel behind a tree when you try.

To get it.

Yes, I get I guess our I guess our conversation was so gripping that he was like, I gotta, I gotta high, I gotta help these guys out here. That's the next questions.

I seen one.

We wish you luck, but I uh, I think, look, you got time, you got, you got plenty of time.

You know, plenty of gass bowls in the soda bottle.

Just squeeze it out slowly and it won't really disrupt anyone.

But your twenties are all about discovery, they really are. I wouldn't feel too much pressure.

To don't put that pressure on yourself. Get out there and make some mistakes.

Have fun. Okay, this is kind of coming to us from Tina.

Tina.

Can twenty one year old women experience male patterned baldness? Serious question? Can twenty one year old women experience male pattern baldness?

That depends on what you're doing with the man. I mean if he's like.

Oh you see means himself I was saying, yeah, I mean if you're running your fingers through his hair and all of a sudden you feel scalp.

You're experiencing it. You get something that male pattern baldness right in your fingertips. Yeah, girl, get it.

Well as two gentlemen with Uh, I got quite the forehead here.

Yeah, but you don't have any other problems elsewhere, do you?

No, it's it's all pretty in the back.

You don't have like the Saint Anthony.

Like I got to get the St. Anthony.

No St Anthony they call that.

Never had the reverse.

Yeah, but always had a big always had a big forehead. But it's as the years ago, you know. You you just see like a lone soldier in there and they're like, oh, that's.

Where it used to be.

Is a male pattern boldness the same as a receding hairline?

But or is male pattern baldness something else?

Because isn't male pattern baldness what I had what I'm experiencing.

Like this hand, Maybe I have a receding hairline and you have maleness? What is Yeah, I don't know the exact difference. I think I would I would go to you on this one. I will not to be Oh, I know I.

Know what I would go to you to solve a math problem.

So let's get my dad on my dad's is it? You know?

I think male pattern boldness is where you lose it in different places. So I coupled with a pattern of this, this is probably.

You.

I feel it because there's a not the preator to protect me.

You got enough to I could fake it.

Yeah, the right angle.

Look how robust I look?

And now look, okay, when you're in a convenience store and you see the is that the is that the most deflating one?

That is the worst where you look?

And when I was on TV, I used to be because I'd be like, guys, like, guys, don't what are you doing?

Take that? Change that angle? Like what are you doing?

Like help me out?

Like we'd have the high angle from the back when we were working at the register when it's ever it's my turn.

You would never see that angle.

Ever I'd been the edit baby, like switch that angle, switch that angle, switch that angle.

Yeah, what do you got for it?

I have the answer for you.

Yeah.

Male pattern boldness is what you have, Joe, which crown and receding hair.

It's a d it's a crown, and then.

You have a receding hair.

I have a receding hair.

So basically just means I'm a king because my crown is I have a crown and you don't have a crown.

I don't have a I don't want that crowd keep a crown the.

Yeah, yeah, I think then, so can you experience it as a one as a woman.

That's my grandmother, My grandmother was buldish it. What's your neddy? Grandma? And Eddie my grandma daddy had come on, Yeah.

Really Grandma Eddie had full blown hairs missing swear God, she.

Just did she have cancer or something or just nope?

She had male So why don't you just be female pattern boldness like females? What is female pattern boldness?

I think alopecia calls by hormones and it's just like right thinning, like from the the middle, got it like right up here in the middle and then out.

Yeah, yeah, I've seen so they do.

Like my grandmother, my grandmother did have like was would I would consider more than thin hair because I've seen people with thin hair too.

It's but I was also a child, and your grandmother is a monster. When you were little, she used to wear glasses that hurt me when she kissed me a lot when she was a big a talent.

She's like g and kissed me and hurt me with it glass And I said to my dad, so I had to kiss you?

Do I have to kiss grandma although she hurts me. And my dad was like, yes, you do. So that's why. Maybe she was just a bold kissing monster. Maybe that's the way I put her on my head. She could have had a full locks And I wasn't even realized.

I saw my step grandmother butt naked when I was like six.

It scarred me. I'll tell you, scarred me for life.

Don't even get me started on how I show my.

Put on like like caked on makeup. And that was always daring.

When you see like a seven year old with like full on, like clown makeup on it.

Always that was scary.

But then one day I was going on the bathroom and I walked past her bedroom and she looked at me and choice had these kind of like white eyes like this, and she looked at me and it was like, oh god, it was it.

Was uh, I've never gotten over it.

It was scary. It was like like there were I'm with you, you ready to throw up?

No, I'm with you because I saw my grandmother drying her under carriage.

Excuse me, in Atlantic City.

In Atlantic City, my grandmother was riding ridding the towel to dry her under carriage. I was I was twenty six years old.

We went to put Grandma to bed. She doesn't have hearing it. She still didn't know.

Until the days you died that I saw her doing the full over on the you know, the whole thing, driving me on the carriage. Right, I'm in Atlantic City. Okay, I forget my wallet. I go upstairs, put Grandma on the bed. She did the clan parm she yeah, she's doing the she's flossing before it was cool. She's doing to blow it, right, my grandma. I go to put it in bed.

She takes a shower at night, right, I go put it in a bed. I go downstairs.

About five minutes later, like, oh shit, I forgot my money. Clip upstairs because we're like, say, we're going to gamble. I go upstairs and I go, I go in my room.

Forgot your money clicked. Nana's taking a shower. Okay, sure this got really.

Weird right now. Why would I want to see my grandmother naked again? I'm so, I go, I go by.

We have adjoining rooms, and my grandmother's deaf, and shit, she had her hearing aids out, so she doesn't know I came through.

I come through, and I walk and I see it at the pariffs.

I see her fucking doing the come on ride the train and dry and she's doing the Benga bus right there. And she was just covered in powder. She just always had powder. She was a chubby woman. She's like missus Claws, so she was freshly covered in powder and she was doing the whole fucking undercarriage dry. And I stopped like the I did like the walk past the door, and I was like like Bigfoot, I did the and then I then I continued all my way and I went downstairs and I couldn't even gamble.

Of course, no, I was cooler.

That's God's ways saying, not tonight, the house winds. The house winds.

Oh my god, that's terrible.

So what were we talking about? I don't know, but please, I think we answered. I think we should.

I'll tell you.

For a guy to received or go bald, it's like it's still acceptable for a woman to do that. There's the psychological aspect of like, ah, that's that's really it's like a.

Double whammy when a girl experiences it.

But I know that they have like you know, hers or whatever, like the opposite of hymns and stuff for that.

I don't know.

I mean, there's definitely like medicinal things you could do to help maybe spur on. But alopecia I think is a recession. I don't know that it's full on, like you're gonna lose all your hair though, I don't know.

I don't know, but I I mean, we used Google to try to figure this out, so I would tell our friend to probably try to do the same thing.

Yeah, if you have the wherewithal to rule us the question, I think that maybe you can use the device in your hands.

To maybe talk to a doctor.

I don't I don't know if you again, but I would say it's probably not called male pot and baldness.

That's probably I'm pretty sure that.

Yeah, And shame thinks that your my Grandma's more story.

Is crazy crazy, that's crazy.

That's crazy for sure. Okay, this is coming to us from Nigel Oh, a European. I hope, So I haven't I don't know what American Nigel.

Do you oh, that's a great title.

You guys know an American Nigel.

American Nigel. No American Nigel in London.

They'd be the sequel to American two.

Yep.

I recently off my job as a police officer to start my own robotic distribution company.

That sounds pretty cool.

Do you know European Nigel? I don't even know Nigel.

I don't I don't know a Nigel. There's not one Nigel on my phone. This is our first Nigel until this one adds it all right, robotic distribution company. It's primarily focused on B two B sales, business to business. Okay, no clue what that meant? Even eight here's a shark tank. I was still would not. However, with coming up on eight months and I haven't had a single sale, sell or sale sell, I think he typed in sell as sale butt and I have four more months to go

Sale, so it's it's not a it's not a B to B, it's a beat to nobody.

It's primarily focus on B to B sales, right, but he's doing a beat to nobody sale right now, he's not selling, so it's a beat to no B.

So well, here's the thing, Niger. You took a shot and you missed. I mean, I don't know what we've got to tell you. Like, you tried it, it didn't work out.

That's always a thing like how long do you give you months?

Not one sale? That's that's that's tough.

That is tough. But sometimes in B to B, all it takes is that one sale.

Yeah, when you going B to B, that's a big because that those people are like, sure, we'll take ten thousand units.

You know, it's not like you're trying to sell one.

Vacuum to a to a house mom on Maple Avenue.

I mean you're trying to you're trying to sell all of them.

But you would think coming in on a year, yeah, and you've gotta be you gotta you gotta have. Even if he hasn't had one sale, there's got to be. I would think there's got to be something that gives him some tailwinds. You know, I don't know. Just eight months that that that's.

A long time time to go without any having a sale, anything coming in.

I would say, you know, maybe and I don't know how you get into the robotics thing as a law enforcement person, So maybe it's something that you just enjoyed and want and took a shot.

I will say this, though you took the shot.

Now you just have to decide how if it doesn't work out, how devastating that shot will be.

Right, because that's the thing for a person.

You could take a shot and stumble and not fall, or you could take a shot and fall flat on your face and then for I have to get back up. Oh, I say honestly, for me if I'm doing it, If I'm doing it, eight months is enough time I can make up my mind.

That didn't work. I tryed it for eight months, didn't work out for me? That that that that's a good if I know. I gave him my something, my.

All for eight months and didn't work didn't work out for me, that's enough time.

He's got a year. Basically, he gave himself a year until the.

Certification expired because he said he has four months left. So I think, boy, are you going another two?

I like it? I like it, deadline?

Do you go another two? And then say, you know what, I'm gonna give myself ten months. It's almost a year, and then dip out and renew the certificate and get back in the LA enforcement because he knows he has stable income. But we all got to eat at some point too.

He's thinking about well, he's thinking about it.

If he's thinking about it now, he's thinking, he might be hitting the point where he's like, oh, I gotta do something.

Well, you know what you do is what you do? You create a robot to make the sale.

I mean, all we do is solve problems here, always do sol proms. You make a business to business buying robot.

It's that easy.

It's just that easy.

So figure it out.

I think that's yeah.

I think I I think that's pretty much solved.

So Steve says, you're welcome.

That's why we're here.

The next the follow up text of the followup message are going to be love.

You Okay you ready?

Ready?

C J says I need help with my noisy rude in laws three exclamation points noisy and rude.

You hate your one? Do you hate your inords really bad.

No, No, I actually really get along with my wife's fortunate too.

Yeah, very sweet.

And uh the father Ken, her father is very similar to my father.

They're both army vets. Uh, both ripped.

Mass of wags.

Just faara hawks on these guys. Oh they got they're like divers scallops.

That's what you're gonna say, right, no O.

Sometime somebody refers to Avance as a hog. A hog will always.

Be it's so stupid, so dumb. You're talking about my father.

My dad.

Context. It's context.

Uh.

I will say this though, I will say if.

Bubbles, if you're in laws, wangs.

Come on not sup Uh yeah, I honestly haven't experienced that. I will say that. I'm it's very interesting to me. And I think my uh my, my my children's mother definitely lucked out because my mom died before we were married.

Because I feel like my mom would have been.

A handful of really yeah, like I really think that would have been like a thing.

Like my mom was super protective and her baby, you know, yeah, super opinionated.

So I think it'd be interesting for I would have loved to see that dynamic and I think it would have been hard her. You know, her parents are fine, like lived with us everything and we're always great, same deal, quiet, huge hogs.

That which is fine.

So I didn't ever experience this, but I know some nightmare ones, right, there's some nightmare ones out there.

There's in law's run around with tiny hogs out there.

How are you gonna eat dinner with that a huge hogs?

There? Also people you hear these stories about people hate their in laws, they're ruined, ruined marriages.

Yeah, that's the time.

I think that's when you've got to lean into your partner in life and be a little more dependent, to.

Be the conduit of like rectifying the situation.

It's like you can only do so much, but I think it's up to you to you know, relegate duties, to be like, hey, look I'm trying my damn this here, but you need to help me out here.

Yes, that's it gets.

Weird because the dynamic.

There's almost like a chain of command right right, it's like one.

Hundred percent, it's it's the in law is the part. It's your partner's parents, so they need to deal with them. But when it gets murky for me is when it's affects the kids because those are your kids, right, So something is happening with your kids that you're the in laws are doing, you need to step up to take care of your children. Sure, say something there, but if it's something that's going on that doesn't evolve.

That, it's weird.

It's kind of like I'm kind of pass the buck like an elbow, like you see what's going on here to take care of his please, right, because you don't want to be out of line, you know.

There there have been one or two occasions where uh uh a parent in law has said something to my kids where I'm like, eh, we can, we can handle that. But but there's also part of me it's like is this worth this situation where it's just like it's fine, it's you know, you're here for day and by the way that that goes both ways. I've heard my father say something where I didn't agree with it with the kids, but I just kind of take a step back because I, you know, you want to be respectful.

To my father.

And ye also there's that as well, but uh, you know, it's always like what when is it worth it? Yeah, what battle is worth fighting for? But it sounds like they're rude and noisy. I would definitely go to my wife on that one and say, look, you got to help me out here, help me out with your despicable parents.

Before we end up on dateline. Yes, that's right, it's gonna be blood bath at a barbecue.

For one more? Yeah, what how long are we going? What is the what time is it? Okay? We got talking more?

One more?

Okay, this is coming to us from Erica. This is pretty right to the point. How do I be nice to people who are rude? It's the hardest stay out of New York City.

It's the hardest thing in the world to do. It's the hardest thing in the world. It's a constant battle too.

Especially the I feel like it's gotten worse.

Do you id to I do?

There was a woman today and this is what I do. I I I don't. I'm not rude back. I just try to be creative. So I'm boarding my flight and as I'm walking towards Group one, because I'm executive Platinum, I don't want to break.

I don't want to bring it towards I don't want bring it.

It's just guys, if you need me in the eggs were. I'll go there and versatile, but I'll probably be up in the cabin. I'll draw the curt behind you.

Whatever.

It's fine. If you want my peanuts, to ask for them, I'll give it to you.

So I'm drawing towards group one, and you know, it's a clusterfuck.

It's never like people are respectful and whatever.

So it's just a glom of individuals. And when you're merging on a highway, there's a sense of decorm. It's like, okay, you then, and this was what was happening. And this bitch would not let it go. And she had the gucchiap belt and the high heels to first class, you know the type. And she's coming in and she is now like literally in this guy's personal space, behind like on his six breatheing on some neck. And I'd be pissed if I was the guy. But she closed me off.

She goes, I'm late. I go, well, we're all going to be late because we're all on.

The same flat.

It's not like you can't the easy thing to be like fus, you know, but you can't. So I just try to take like a little subtle jab and then and then the justice. I always feel like there's harmic justice as we're going, she was told because she was in seat one, she couldn't put her bag up. She had to put her bag up top. There was no room, so she had to put her bag back behind first class. So as I'm leaving, I just gave her the old,

Fuck you, this is what you get.

You got to wait, she was, And what she's thinking is like, shit, I should have cut two people so they would have still been room in the overhead.

Not crazy, that's what she's thinking.

She's like, Oh, I finally want to cut to the front of the line. Yeah, I could have put my bag right above me.

This is what I love.

My buddy Gary does this all the time with like rude customer service, because airlines these days is comics note the worst. And what he always does is they don't want to help, They rarely help, they don't want to do I think he was says, uh, could I get your dress? Why do you need my I want to know where to send the flowers?

Thank you? I go get out of here.

And I just thought that's such a great way of just trumping it instead of going you know, I had a horrible experience.

They're not going to do anything.

Just I think you can creatively come up with some fun jack.

Because that stuff is for you. You walk away feeling your hair like you get some of the dand like, yeah, yeah, that's yeah. I think. Uh.

I will say I've never driven with you before this past a couple of weeks back when we were leaving a club and.

It would come up at some point.

And you are angry driver.

Asian but a guy remember the guy cut you off and I had to get in front of you because so you cut a guy off and no.

No, no, no, won't let you in.

My turn signal was off and the people behind me were being let in and I'm like, oh, I got real estate, he'll let me in, right, And he didn't let me.

Because you were breaking the rule that you were just speaking of what the one and one?

No, no, no, there were I I pictured that, I know it.

I know it. You tried to sneak in on the tail.

No, I said, I said, you're not gonna let me in and fuck you, and I wedged.

Him exactly exactly. You and the woman went to Gucci belt.

No no no no no no no no beg.

Isn't no no no no no no.

Now I'm going to show your magic trick.

My point though, is I didn't really I didn't think you'd be that angry with a driver.

But it was that one incident.

There's a couple when the other.

One was on the highway when we were driving. That was in Nashville when we were driving around. We were driving back from uh we were driving in between.

U uh Louis Louisville and going to Nashville on the road on the expressway.

Do you remember this what happened? I don't remember.

Ji was in the car with this.

What happened?

Uh you?

Uh so this is when I go to our guests and you start whispering to each other, you.

Try to merge, going on no, this is the way I'm telling you right to your face on podcast.

Okay, what happened?

Uh you? You were trying to you were trying to merge.

Your merging is really, when your worst comes out, you really might take awa. When you were trying to merge onto six eighty four whatever the expressway is, and you tried to merge on the guy wouldn't let you in.

Yeah, and you fucking gunned it, and you're like, well, it's happening, and you like, you know that you do that stuff.

But I didn't think that because you are like one of the nicest, kindest people I know. We said this all time about our good friend Mark Jiggy aka Jiggy, who is like one of the nicest, kindest people that when he's off stage, but when he's on stage.

He turns into this animal. But we love that Jiggy, We love that Aboue. But like, I did not expect you to be that type of driver.

I'm normally not.

I'm be honest with you, but I find it when no I have accountability for it. And that's why even when when that person and Jiggy saw it where I had to merge again, the road got cut off and then I merged again and then the guy let me in, and then I gave my thumbs up.

Yeah, the thing it wasn't but it was you, and you did a slow rise.

You did a I did not slow rise like a lighting nineteen forties filmed.

I just went like that because I found, well, what's worse.

That's worse.

It's like, this is the worst to give somebody. I'm disappointed in you.

This is you have not this is maybe maybe disappointed.

You should think about what you've done, because it could have been this, it could have been that.

Yeah, this is par for the course, everybody. This is the go to. Anybody can do that. This sting that is that hurts. This thing is to go what.

Are your films down?

Yeah?

I think there was also a windows Yes, you put the window down, put your to put my thumb out, Yeah for sure, Yeah, yeah, one hundred percent.

So this is all. This is exactly my point. I think you're way nicer when you're not driving. That's my takeaway.

Guys, if you want to drive to Kentucky, you're more than.

Take your way. Shock and I'll drive it.

Fine, It's okay, you guys can do it.

I'll be good.

I I find what I'm driving. I still feel there's a sense of decorum, Like you wouldn't do that if you were walking on a sidewalk. Why would you do that in a car and this whole like cancel culture. People want to get canceled because they said something that like hurt your feelings. It's like if you cut somebody off on a highway, like you literally physically endangered somebody. That's fucking crazy, like total thumbs down, you should get canceled driving for like this is not a bit.

By the way, give me your license. This is happening to you and your license.

But how do you how are you? How are you nice? Or how do you deal with rude people? How are you still nice to people that are rude?

That?

I think?

I think you have to it would be nice. See it's here, here we go, Erica. This is this is the great thing about Erica. Ready, how do I be nice to people who are rude? She could go, how do I deal with rude people?

Exactly? She says, she's coming from a place of kindness.

That's a very sweet way to start that.

Over that, And here's the thing. You have to do it to what you feel comfortable with. But know that you don't owe anybody anything right, So if someone's being rude to you about it, you don't owe them kindness. Kindness is something that you extend to people, and it's a way that you act.

That's fine.

But if you you don't have to win someone over with kindness or kill them with kindnesses, as the saying goes, I.

Think it's just you should. You should feel good after an interruest.

She's already in the in the right mind, and she'll instinctively do the right things because you don't have to think about it. You are a nice person because of the way you frame the question.

She would have she would have let you in by the way she would have let you murge.

When when I'm driving you see me let people in. One thank you and this is for you.

Well, that's all the time we have this week on Two Cool Moms. Everybody, I really appreciate you. We'll see you next time.

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