Michael Strahan: Episode 83 with Joe Gatto and Steve Byrne

Everybody.

Thanks for watching this week's episode. We want to promote where you can see us. For tickets, go to Joe Gatto official dot.

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There you go.

Welcome.

Yes, I am Joe Gatto, I'm Steve Burn, a very special guest today. Guys, I can't believe. I think he got lost and he just ended up in the studio by act.

This is a gentleman. You look at like the two of us would look at and go, we're not the same species.

Michael, thank you, thank you, thanks for having you.

Know I was going to be here for you.

Man.

I appreciate you.

You you have you.

Know, you gave me the biggest thrilling.

You don't even know it because when you came on one hundred thousand dollars Pyramids. Yes, and my kids don't freak out about anybody, they freak out about you because and I'm freaking out because all I do is watch at home because I'm like, okay, but yeah, you talk to my You made a video the first time you made a video, and I've learned you can do something for somebody, do something for me. Great. You know I've always got your back, But you do something for somebody's kids.

Oh yeah, I get somebody cool, dad points. I think that's the biggest thing ever.

I think you know when you get that, because you're always trying to connect with their.

Kids to be like, look, I still got.

It, daddy.

Somebody you know somebody I'm sure your kids have met where I had the opportunity to meet everybody, right, And Joe's right there, right, Joe's absolutely they didn't.

They hate They didn't ask anybody else to make a video, that's right. Yeah, yeah, I didn't ask anybody else. Well, I don't want to say, but they say, don't meet you heroes.

I've had the opportunity to work with you a couple of times. I did one hundred thousand Pyramid a couple of times. And then I had the most nerve wracking interview of my life.

I was on GMA with him when I.

Was talking about my book Where's Barry? And I wasn't even ready to really go in and they're.

Like, yeah, come in.

And I went in and there like, okay, go and I almost said a load to him, and I was so nervous.

I don't know if you remember this. I was so nervous. You introduced me and I clapped for.

Myself and I went, yeah, you know, and he called me out on television and he goes, you don't.

Clap for yourself.

Well it was a little unusual.

Yeah, for sure, I am a little bit.

But you're a comedian, so except for yourself, I.

Get away with some stuff. I'm sure, Michael.

Have you been to a lot of comedy shows there? I mean here in the city, there's so many. Who's somebody you you appreciate life.

I appreciate all comedians. I mean I've gone to see from Chris Rock to Chris Tucker to Jerry Seinfel, Amy Schumer. I mean I went to see Day Chappelle, Jeffrey ross Man, like all the heavy you know, and so. But I appreciate comedians because I understand it's so hard to stand in front of a room with a group of people you don't know, you may never see again. I don't know what their day is like. You don't know what they're day like you don't know what mood they come

I think we're like instantaneous, right, It's it's instantly occurring, but you're you know, being on like GMA for example, like you're coming off and they're watching metrics instantly, I'm sure, and seeing dials go up and down. So that's got to be equally nerve, if not more, because we're doing it in front of a crowd of you know, hundreds of thousands, but you're millions.

Yeah. I don't even think a daily basis. I think if you think about how many people are watching, it screws me up. Like There'll be some time in the middle of reading something and then I'll think, oh my god, there are millions.

All of a sudden, I forget how to read. Yeah, in the latest presidential debate.

So but yeah, I know I can't think about it and I can't pay attention to it. I can't look at social media comments like I used to sit there on the show and then and when I'm not reading a story looking at you know, Twitter or Twitter at the time of X Man, and it could mess you up for sure. So now I don't pay attention in any of It doesn't matter in the grand scheme of things, and it's I always just do my best and let

Right?

You my feelings about how I feel about my.

My mother had like the greatest saying, and I always stuck with me. It was don't take criticism. Don't take criticism from people you wouldn't go do advice for.

Yeah, so like that, I think that's huge.

My mom three words, you not funny, stuck with me.

Forever, stuck me, you stay true to her words.

So I love that I can't clamp for myself. I cannot claim I can't.

You're not funny, that's great.

Yeah, I want to ask you, Michael, I just did you ever see this career trajectory that's crazy? The way from being under the limelight here in New York. I think that's probably where you get that last. You know, if you can't put on the pads here in New York, the glare, it cripples so many people that have come over here and then to go to make the transition from that to where you are now. I mean, did you ever first thinking absolutely, you know, amazingly enough?

And people might some people might disagree, But I'm actually a shy person, you know, I really am. And I like my friends. I love my friends, I love my family. I love like people I'm comfortable with. But in the street, when I walk down the street and people were yelling, you know, some people want to be like, yeah, I'm in the spot. Let everybody know. I just want to kind of slide in and sit down.

Which is hard for you.

Yeah, yeah, well not even it's like, oh you're tall, I'm like no, it's the gap, Like I can't go anywhere. At one point I had to think I was shouting to make it look like I had trade teeth.

But then people like, we know what you're.

Doing, man, soybody gave it up.

What the hell it is? What it is?

But I never saw it because I was always kind of shy and quiet in college, kind of like the laid back, quiet guy. And then here in New York. I mean, city's overwhelming when you come here as a twenty one year old kid, and then I just kind of developed. And when you got a camera in your face every day at the football player and ask you

And we stop recording right now. He wouldn't say another word.

He just himself. He goes to the corner, just stands there until you're ready. He comes.

That didn't say like John Legend. When the camera go off, he turns off.

Yeah down.

What was your growing up?

What was the family like was your Were you surrounded by a family of introverts extroverts?

No, I'm the youngest of six, man, I was, and my brothers and sisters were great and the great upbringing. Dad was in the military, retired major in the Army Paratrooper eighty second Airborne Division. He was a master jumper and like everything, any kind of way you can jump out of something, he had to do a helicopter, they airplane, climbing on wings, out the back, out the front of the side of it. Whatever, he said. He did it because they paid him like fifteen dollars extra month.

Well, you got what you gotta do. Man, here's the tom cruise's.

Dollars extra a month.

Yeah, you could have died, but for him it was worth it.

He did it.

But but that growing up with a dad who was an overachiever like that, coming from where he came from, he was never any You couldn't have an excuse. There was no excuse for anything. Sure, he couldn't say I.

Can't just counts out fifteen dollars in front of here. He's like, I just jumped yeah, off an aircraft tiring. He's fifteen dollars excuse.

Yeah, but I grew up in the great household, great brothers and sisters. Being the youngest was where I needed to be because I could see everybody else's mess up.

Yeah.

I love that, figure out my way and figure out that I wanted to go make my own.

Path, right for sure, everybody's mix up, Yeah, I have.

I have two older sisters, so I was the baby boy, which is good.

But you're the.

Older brother, right, the older brother, so you were the troublemaker.

Yeah.

It was like, you know, I always feel bad for like a little brother or anybody like the youngest, like because you know, i'd get he man, he'd have to get skeletor like you know, you never get to do the.

Test to you.

Yeah, yeah, for sure.

Yeah, being the youngest of six though, I mean it was great because he kind of like it is true though, by the time your parents got the number six, like you know I got, I got a.

Free pass on a lot of stuff. Yeah.

Sure, And then I ended up being the one probably closest to my parents at the end of the day because all my brother and sisters were older brothers out.

Running the streets.

Sisters were moved away, and I was thirteen years old sitting at home parent.

Yeah, a dirty kid.

Yeah, And every Friday after work we go to dinner at this place called Xenia Grill. In Germany, I grew up and we moved to Germany and I was nine. Wow, and Germany the country.

In the country.

Yeah, No, Germany, the New Jersey, Germany, New York Germany Jersey. But but yeah, I moved to Germany. I was nine years old. And Germany was great growing up because we moved there. I've lived on a military base the first three years of it, and then after that my dad retired and then we moved off base, so we moved in lived in the community for fifteen years after that, So we went over there. I was nine and by the time my parents moved back to the States, I was twenty.

Eight years old.

Really yeah, wow, So I.

Was in the league and lived in New York for seven years at that point. Wow.

But yeah, So it was it was an interesting way to grow up.

It taught me that you have to respect people for people and customs of different countries and like a different respect of respect for everybody, and you're not always the ball. So I mean as the Americans, I think sometimes I think we run, we don't. You got to hear the other rules and other people, and it taught me that you get along with everybody when you're on a military base. And the matter what race you are, I'm much sure you come from money, and nothing matters. We are Americans.

Because you speak Germany.

Yeah a little bit. I can't order his food and drinks. We won't starve.

Third. Yeah, I'm good enough, good enough, good enough.

Who did you go to for advice growing up? My dad was the best. I didn't have to go to him for advice. He just gave it.

Yeah, he will hear this.

I'm telling you, this is what it is. But but yeah, you know, my dad was the best.

Though.

He was amazing man, and he's very positive, always positive. My dad was the only person I knew would buy. He always had the computers and the latest stuff, and he would literally sit on the toilet and read the whole computer manual. Really, yeah, you're like the dad. I got to go in the bathroom, just sitting there like you've been here for hours, your legs asleep nowhere. It cannot be that interesting to read a computer.

Man legs falling asleep in the middle of the night.

I have I sleep with eight dogs, right, so I when I walk back, this happened to me last night.

So last night I misjudge where, like enough.

Do you think how your wife would hear that I sleep with eight dogs?

How shooting you have a cuffom bed or it's.

A king bed.

They're all small old dogs, you know, but they all had their spot. But I came back last night and they're all dying. By the way, these aren't like cute dogs.

They're all like, you know, like I get like the blue eyes, and they're blind and they kind of like snagger.

They're like ugly.

They are the more my wife loves them.

But they're so I got I got to sleep, legs and your marriage. So I'm walking back and the legs are asleep, and I misjudge how many steps I had left before they I.

Was coming in.

I wanted the dog. I was like both.

Him was last night.

So now you're sleeping with seven dollars one.

Dogs I got off the bed.

Yeah, so the slakes want to sleep. I hate that's one of my pet peeves.

But your your father was very tech savvy. Then I showed he was Jay's.

He was pretty tech savvy, pretty tech savvy. I mean for whatever was new at the time, he was up on it. But he was also the first person I ever do who paid one hundred bucks for a pair of shoes. Really, yes, and my mom was pissed. Yeah, he he went and paid one hundred dollars for a pair of new Balance running shoes, right, and but the catch was they would resold the shoe anytime the tread were off for life.

So he got his hundred dollars.

Yeah, wife, but he's a jog and run around and like he got his money's worth. But back then, in like the eighties, my mom's like, you freaking kidding, man, freaking paying a hundred bucks for shoes and but yeah he got his money.

That's some deal man.

Yeah.

And then your mom was she uh a homemakery kind of mom or yeah, yeah, yeah, she did like.

Mostly like my mom was did everything. My mom coach deaf and my brother the Victor and I in basketball and we won the championship. Really used to coach.

Yeah, my mom was a coach. Yeah, she was the heck of a basketball player.

Coach and basketball when my my mom used to drive forklifts and all that stuff on the base like mom, serious, don't mess with a bit with her straight hand.

Will hurt.

And this. She loved the auto bond and we would be on the with just be her nine and the car.

She was flying over one hundred.

On a forklift, German forklifts.

Man got comots, that little hybrid forklift, Man that new balance gears.

And brings it all together. Fly home and then we get home, she's like, don't you tell your.

Dad we're going to Yeah.

Yeah, I'm like, okay, but mom, Mom, Mom is something else. And she's down in Houston eighty three years old doing great and yeah, still driving around doing her things.

Still go on hundredths an hour in the Houston Express. Yeah, that's great.

I wouldn't doubt it at all.

That's so cool.

Yeah, I've uh my mother was very much like uh my, my mother and father didn't do that. Don't tell your mother, don't tell your father much sure, but I remember that was the one time my mom got pulled over by the police and she didn't she didn't get the ticket.

She got out of the ticket and she said.

I don't want to go to great detail.

Hands were involved, and promises were made, so.

Well, I don't get in details, Michael, No, I don't get in details. But promises were made and dad late, so.

So we come home and then she take me. I would know because she would take me to go get.

Like ice cream. She's like, yo, let's get ice cream. She's like, and we're not going to tell that about the policeman today. I'm like, yeah, or tomorrow.

I gotta tell you.

Michael's how might be my favorite moment of the show we've ever had?

Was a legitimate question. I'm a journalist, curious, curious you're you're a spot on buddy.

So I'm curious.

Like being a comedian though, right when you're on State you're trying to entertain people, how do you do it?

You get heckled?

Ever, not really, I don't want much heckling. I shut it down pretty quick.

I'm known. My fans have come out to see me know that I'm kind of bold.

And brazen. So I think a lot of people are just like afraid. Yeah, they're kind of afraid that you do. But I'm also very uh inviting and nice, like I'm not really one of those guys that goes at people. I just did tell somebody shut the fuck up this weekend though, this weekend, Yeah, this weekend.

What did they do?

They killed a punchline for me. I was setting up a bit and I was just about to get the punchline, and he was like.

You should have told him to suck it, like Captain Fat Battley.

That's what he said. And I went, that's what you're gonna do. And I said, how about you try to shut the fuck up and everybody. I felt bad because I don't like doing that. But that's the only time. I don't really get heckled much. You deal with it all the time.

He said, Wow, oh my god.

He gets heckled like all the time. He's just so bad. He doesn't have a heckle pace. He invites it. He'll sit there and then he always wins. He's the best.

No.

I just I love crowd work. I love I love to start the show off by doing crowd work. So I like to kind of get in there. And I think after you know, twenty five years of doing this, anything you hear it's just kind of like you're just kinda you're just kind of cool in the pocket, like everything moves in slow motion, and all of a sudden, the computer just takes over and you're like, I reflexibly

You're just like one of them, and you lose the room.

Yeah, And my lesson was, you cannot ever show your emotions that way. You've got to be smarter than anybody in this room and figure out the Ruber's cube pretty quickly and when, and make sure you keep it calm, steady. But most importantly, you got to find the laugh. You just have to find the laugh because I I don't think I ever told you the story. It was at

Twenty four to seven.

We're going back and forth Jersey Shore Korean and then this then this girl goes, go, watch you shut the fuck up?

And I go, why is this?

Somebody?

Hey, I go, what what you guys?

You're gonna cut this?

Well, okay, you can beep it.

Why is it? Somebody tell that they shut the buck?

And so I dropped a sea bomb and next thing I know, the guy takes a chair and whizzes it across the and this is the comic strip. These are like these chairs were not made at Ikia. They're heavy steel like from the sixties. Chucked it and by the time I see it coming, I turn around in a gash. The back of my mind, I had eight staples, so if I shaved my head, you'll see like a huge gas. Yeah you could still, I meant, yeah, So I got

I have to get this right.

And and I'm telling you, if that didn't happen, who knows what the lesson would have been. But it was a severe lesson for me to be, like, all right, get your ship together.

You had a press charger.

The lesson would have probably been come back and get your ass.

I'll find them.

Yeah, I get. That's the heck of a lesson, though, like like just the thought of that, like I gotta stay above it all right, And I love the way you say it slows down.

But that was like football to me.

Your emotions got to get on the adrenaline floor.

You know. If I get the first initial, you're like getting the guys going. And when I used to get there, he's listening to different music, Like I'd be pulling up, I'm listening to smooth Shot.

New York.

Somebody cuts you if you leave me, you take away.

Making my way down to this year, he saying to somebody, I'm in the fans that looked at me pulling into the stadium and he's fired up.

No, I got.

Let's go, you know, right. But I would start out like that, yeah, and then the more the close I got the game time, like the music would would get a little harder and deeper and darker, and then by the end of it it was like.

Snoop Dogg.

Ready to kill anybody. But then once you get out there, like you're yeah, you're jacked up. But once you get hit once or you hit somebody once, like okay, and then it slowed.

It was like.

Watching Bears Dance in a slow motion like it was like it's so fast you watch the film the next day Oh my god, I can't believe I moved that quick, right right, I closed that gap down that fast, or I caught this guy like you couldn't believe it.

But in the moment, it just felt like, yeah, do that.

I want to ask you one last thing though, real quick? What was that process like? Because someone like yourself going from college into professional you know, being a professional athlete, and everything's regimented, every aspect of regimented throughout the course of your life, even in the summer you got to train whatever, and the minute you cut the leash, like

Just do it.

How How was that transition really hard for you?

Was it?

Was it easy for you?

It was? It was? It was just difficult.

I knew when I retired, I already had a deal with Fox NFL. With Fox, I actually signed the deal the year before, and then they said, whenever you're ready to retire, we just put out the drawer and pick it up from then. So but I signed the deal, we put it in the drawer and I we won the Super Bowl, get the you know, undefeated Patriots, and we can't out do that.

I can't.

It would be.

Nice to go back for a victory, sure for one year, but it requires me to get beat up for victory.

I was tired, you know, just you stand up at the comic strip, beat up.

Good to see her, But but it was it was yeah, I was just tired.

So it was a difficult transition because everyone thinks now they're looking. They go, oh, I already get there all the time. Oh yes, it's an easy, simple transition. It was a seamless I'm like, no, no, even though I was on Fox and I'm doing that show. For the first month or so, I was scared shitless, right like, because it's a whole different venture. It's a whole different venture. They don't they just throw you in there. It's not like they teach you how to do it. I didn't

It was not there.

It was gone right, And so in a moment of panic, I just started acting like I was choking, start coughing.

And then how we picked it up together. And then while they're.

Doing that, it came back to me and I said, thank you guys. And then I picked up and in my own head, I said, oh crap, okay, you got this stuff.

I needed that, like that was your that was your chair, that.

Was my chair.

To the head moment to be like, oh you got this now and now I absolutely love it and it is my locker room.

But it was tough because you're so used to the physical.

Part of that job. Like there's nothing more gratified to me than it was to me. That was like seeing this three hundred and something pound guy. Like if I saw him in street clothes on the street or before the game and like getting off the bus, I'd be like, oh, because that guy. But the second that music started switching over and my mind, yeah, you know, my frame of mind started to change. And once I put on those shoulder pads, yeah you go to war, you ain't. I'm

I'm done.

And I'm not wearing the pads.

Like literally, my knee was hurting just laying in bed.

There's no way I can actually make a cut hit somebody.

So ons we get some fan submitted dilemmas, you try to give them.

As some advice as we can.

Our producer Mark goes through it diligently.

Any Uh, Mark, these real? You making them up yourself when I'm typing.

Them as because right now the episode is three minutes, all right, So we have some fun ones. We had some fun questions and we have some dilemmas well. Drunk in first with the fun one that came from the instagram. Would you rather be able to speak every language in the world or be able to speak to animals?

Oh?

I know that, I know what you would do.

Well, that's an assumption. Just because I have dogs.

He'd be yelling at a dog.

Will be good.

But I mean speaking every language you could really do some damage in life. Could you'd be unbeatable to any business? You could talk to anyone. What a salesperson you'd be. Yeah, nobody could get one over on you.

Right.

Love to go in somebody's spots and just look stupid like I don't know what they're talking about, and then get them back with it. That's always been a dream and make you want to learned from languages. Languages for me, I mean what you know whatever, somebody the opinion of you really doesn't matter. Like I feel like that with a dog, Like I don't really want to know what a dog. I go somewhere and I see an animal, like I don't want to go to I went to Africa.

I'm gonna eat you, he's gonna you, or he's going to sleep.

Yeah.

Yeah, they're looking for food, they're mating. I'd like to hear them, like what they talk about when you're mating. I think that'd be funny, like.

What you've got. Honestly, I'm thinking, like like Doctor Doolittle, like you're trying to help animals, like.

Here's your paw, here's your more feathers, trying to lie in the mad.

Trying to be Yeah, you know doctor Doolittle, and you can help animals.

I learned all the languages. Then i'd go to I'd go to the UK and I go to Scotland and Ireland.

No, I would like to talk to.

There's a kangaroos are getting into Yeah, the animal talking, i'd be I feel like you might be disappointed because if they're not thinking anything. Yeah, you know, yeah, sitting there, Ribbit, you listen to frauds and they're just saying, Ribbit, world traveler.

It would, it would, it would inspire you to travel more.

Making it gets right, it completely removes a huge barrier to entry about travel, like.

Yeah, I can live anywhere. Yeah I can hear what.

The French are actually saying about you.

What do you speak? I speak.

I used to speak a little Korean when I was younger, and then I trailed off, and then I studied it again in college and it was a great way to reconnect with my mom. And again, a language is just like anything, you got to keep up with it.

It's just like, so, you don't speak Korean anymore, I don't speak so you speak English?

The answer was, I speak English?

You said, do I speak English? You looked at me like I'm a moron.

Well, I just the curse words my mom used to yell me in Italian. That's all I got that in.

Yeah, I just I don't speak anything besides English.

But you're little obviously German.

Yeah, yeah, foods a little German, Yeah, food, drink and curse words.

Yeah, that's yeah, like.

All good languages.

That's how most like Okay, what what's one language you'd love to learn.

I mean, I really would like to learn Italian. I think, yeah, yeah, I think I would love it.

I don't know how much it would help me in the world, but I think Italian would be nice to know because but.

If you travel to Italy, you don't really need to know it, right, I mean, they're pastaasta, but they're very welcoming of Americans that I think they're you know, I think most countries you go to they speak a lot of I was shocked when I went to China, Japan, Korea, like on USO tours, and they all spoke English. I was like, wow, it's very fascinating that, like here we are again to your point, like we take it for granted, like we're Americans, Like, well, i'd love to do I'd love to know a few.

Different languages and be that welcoming to other Yeah. But and then and then, you know, but I think there are some countries too that they probably speak English, but they're like, no, I'm going to make you suffer because you should learn the language. And it's no fault there there. That means that you go somewhere you should learn how to know the language. But I do like those new phone that just saw commercial the other day, one that flips up and it's like two sided screen and you

You know what, I do, speak every language. Now, Actually that's a bad question.

Well, hell, let me talk to animals.

Then you have to go outside.

All right, we'll jump back in.

Kevin send us an email, he said, Looking at all the work you've done, what do you think your mom is most proud of you for?

That's that's interesting. So what would my mom be most proud of?

I think his correct.

I think my mom was most proud of that. I gotta I didn't have to move back home. Oh, you know that was always my thing. I don't want to move back home, right. I don't want to live with my parents my whole life. You know, that was a big sting.

When did you When did you get out?

I moved? I left when I went to I went to Houston for half of my senior year to live with my uncle to play one year football high school. I was sixteen, and then when I left for seventeen.

That was it. That was it.

That was it.

Yeah, I had any of the other siblings moved back home. Oh yeah, at the President house full of them.

I got even the uncle.

Yeah, I god, I got my old fighting what's he had dress? I'm just saying my oldest brother lived in Italy and he's been there for years. And the other one seemed to be back in Houston at home chilling.

Yeah. Yeah, you know you buy mama house. I guess you're buying it for the favor.

You can't say you did buy them.

If Jasmin, don't worry.

Leave it in there. I want them to see it. You need to know.

It's your camera. You're grown camerae ow get out, you take a date home.

I love it. Uh what do you think? What would you say.

About your uh? Excluding children? I would say my mom and dad. I think when I had the sitcom and I had a sitcom where I went back home and took over a bar with my parents, and Dan Lauria played a version of my father and Jody Long played

You have to bring two people to pay for you. When you first started.

Years in New York City, and they came to every open mic, they'd pay, they'd sit through three hours of comedy, and then to like see that all come like full circle and have them there, that was.

Like one of those kind of like yeah.

Damn, he made my answer suck.

Yeah, yeah, I mean I get that, though, I mean, can your parents have seen it from the beginning? Might have too, So yeah, to like be inducked into the NFL Hall.

Of Fame and they have my to see your dreams real.

There, and then I got a star in Hollywood Walk of Fame. They have my mom there, my family and friends there, like all that that stuff was like crazy because I don't. I kind of do stuff and I move on. You know, for me, it's kind of like, okay, then keep on moving. I believe if I get stuck

So early on too, because I mean, yeah, I mean, you know that election probably you know I mean to be you know, to be anointed, so early on post career, I should say post post career early on, right, yeah, because some guys, you know, they're struggling to get up on stage. Sometimes they have these poignant speeches. But the fact that you're still so I mean, you look like you could still play down.

Yeah, happening. It's all about to look you know what.

Yeah, I'm on TV every day and I got the kind of friends that will, you know, let you know if you ain't looking right. I don't know my friends blowing on my phone. You know, you look like you just gave up? Man, what's going on?

Well?

I remember, Yeah, I wonder what that's like. Oh, it was very well, because it's very well.

I tell you all the time that you're getting a little bit less. This little bit.

They some of these guys, they tell me we were we were on tour together in the UK and.

Some of these guys, Q said it, I do say it.

Don't jump in you look some of the things you said. Anyways, I was on a big screen in the O tworey and I come off end of the tour because every night somebody else wants to go out drinking, and I'll go, I'll go drinking every night and then he'll rest and he'll you don't drink. But then the last night I'm all like I guess Q said, I was like sweaty and looked like bloated and I come off. He goes, hey, man, I go hey, he goes, I go have a great show. He goes, I just want to tell you something. You

I've never been heard like so many words like a frog or totally like yeah, Asian seven but god damn, like, give me a little friend, I.

Musk.

I've gotten that.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Let's get let's try to help somebody.

Okay.

So Shane's guys a Lemma, Shane's in the UK apro po. Hey, guys, are recently found out I'm going to be a dad for the first time. I'm get four years old. As excited as I am, I'm also very nervous. I have all sorts of things going through my head and I'm trying to get out a lot of anxiety. I don't want to feel this way. I know a lot of people say becoming a parent is the best thing in the world, and I want to feel that way too. I'm sure any advice from the Moms would be help

Shane from the UK Oldest Shane forty.

Three forty three Wow Wow gotten the game late? Yeah, yeah, I have my first kid forty nine. Sorry, I had my first kid thirty nine.

Thirty nine.

The biggest thing, and I.

Say it's a lot of new dads, we get this kind of stuff a lot. But I think I think the biggest thing is that you're not going to get it right and nobody knows the right way to do it. I think you just need to do the best you can. Yeah, because your comparison is going to be the worst enemy.

I think being forty three to two, you really know who you are. You have a great sense of your identity, so I think you're going to be a lot more comfortable as a parent as opposed to being twenty three. Still kind of finding your voice and your identity in the world.

So I think.

He's got a lot more, he's got a lot less to be nervous about it.

I think yeah, because I think he has probably of security that you don't have when you're young and other things. And I do agree with you, Just they don't come with a manual, right, and then you have the baby and next thing you know, a day or two you're at home with this little baby and figure this thing out.

Yeah, but just yeah, do the best you can.

Hand loved them, and there's a responsibility to it all because you realize the way and things that they're going to learn, or the way in which they treat people and how they are in society in a lot of ways is depending on how you raise them. Because I do things that my dad did and I'm like, oh my gosh, I never thought i'd pick up on that. And even something I don't like that my dad didn't, I would go, oh, gotcha, I said that, just like he was saying that.

Right, Just be telling them advice whenever the asp.

Fort But it made me realize, though, how much of an influence you have on your kids, even when you think they're not watching. So Yeah, that's it's a great responsibility though. I'm being a father's like the biggest joy that you can have in your life and makes you realize in a lot of way something special about being on this planet. It's passing along something from yourself.

Yeah, for sure, I will say though at forty three, Shane Clock's tacking.

Yeah, you're gonna want to make sure you make some impacts because this guy's not throwing the baseball with the son. We'll just put that out right now.

I just come again.

I'll watch I'll watch it, hit it off the take. I'll be vocal from a launch chair.

Yeah, you too, awful, young man forty three, You're okay, You'll be fine. When you go to graduate from high school, they will not say, oh, you brought your grandfather.

They will say you brought your father. Yeah.

Make sure you wear a name tag that says I'm the dad.

Daddy's here.

Yeah, okay, good, Mike's like, who else can we solve a problem?

For? See?

A lot of a lot of it was good successful.

I want to do another quick one here.

This is another would you rather Would you rather have the ability to see ten minutes into the future or one hundred and fifty years into the future.

Oh, ten minutes in the future.

Hundred fift minutes.

I'm not a gambler, so I'd say one hundred and fifty years into the future. I'm always fascinated those books where they detail what will happen one hundred years from now. I'd love to know. Do we have flying cars yet? Are we civilized on Mars? I'd love to know those things, and I hope I get to live long enough to see those things. But I know you, I mean, you loveable.

I would love to know what's going out in ten minutes.

I think I would use the ten minutes for evil, though, so I'd be worried about that. I think I would wanted to go the one fifty but the ten minutes you could definitely affect your life and a bigger impact.

But I feel like the temptation would be too big to know you're gonna know when you'll be dead, like nine minutes, Like it's just see black.

You're like, wait a minute, the anxiety of ten minutes.

I'm thinking about if I can see ten minutes, give me an guy. Yeah, if I can see one hundred and fifty years, But I need to see all one fifty like I can go, okay, take me out five years.

I want to be able to see the whole linear yeah fifty.

Yeah, that way, I'll be like, yo, kids, this is what would go.

Buy stop, his company's gonna be hot. Yes years the family like the Rocke.

Femly straight on every building everywhere.

I would say, the one fifty, it's got to be linear.

That's a big thing for you.

Imagine you just get to see what happened to one you know, and know how we got there. I want to know how we got.

We got there.

If you get to one hundred and fifty and it's just Earth is just a crater. Climate change actually did envelope? Who knows?

When you're pissed, you're like, damn it, I should have went back started living now, see when it was still here.

Just see like a frog on a rock and fifty years like what what?

Well? But ten minutes, what would you do if you saw like ten minutes? And what do you think you would see in ten Like think about.

I go right to a casino.

I go right to a casino, and I make it the Gatto Rockefella situation in ten minutes, like a craps table.

Now, what's coming up? Forget it? That's right, that's where my mind went first.

I would also probably say I would like if I don't want to see like the end of a game, No offense to the athlete, but sometimes it gets a little boring at the end.

And I watched on bored watching them too, so I.

Just love like who won? Okay, got it?

You know?

But I think the ten minutes in my mind went right to like a casino or anything a gambling where you could see yeah, because.

You can't buy a lotto ticket ten minutes before you now, Because that way I could do it. I don't even have to go to a casino and just can knock it out from home on the couch with an Apple.

Yeah, for sure.

Oh the app would be great.

Oh ten minutes, man, I wouldn't even tell people, I tell any if I could see ten minutes, I would just start naming.

Oh wait, watch out, you may trip.

Yeah, I always have my phone right now, you go viral with all your trust me? Why are you telling that old lady trust me? That's gonna be great.

I would The only other thing that think about ten minutes would be I would maybe would invite a lot of people I don't like to dinner and then ruin the end of everybody's stories, like when they're telling the big stories, be.

Like yeah, yeah, and then they came home. You know, shut up, Tim, you know what I mean.

I think that'd be evil too, So I think I had to go hundred fifty years to keep myself nice.

To ruin their stories.

It's so funny.

Yeah, I would love to use it for like like election night or something.

Yeah.

Yeah, I'd be like the new Nate Silver before.

How do you know?

How does he do it?

It's just like guys, justition.

I don't know, but it'd be kind of cool.

So that would be good every states.

Yeah, talking listen to animals.

But then I just do the.

Linear one fifty then yeah, for sure, how would I do that?

Yeah?

Ten minutes for gambling sports gambling, one hundred percent sure.

I know nothing about sports gambling.

For the record, we.

Have a question from Curtis uh. He is a parent of two and how he asked, how do you curb jealousy amongst siblings? His kids are one in three years old, and as they get older, it feels like it's going to be tougher. How do you curb jealousy amongst siblings?

Man, he's starting one and three and are already jealous.

Yeah, that's weird.

People of the time with them affection. I could see that.

I know when my daughter was younger and I was I was like holding my son a little bit, she would be like, come on the lap and stuff too, to be like, oh what about me? I think you have to pick a favorite and let them know who's the favorite, right.

I mean that's the only way to parent. Well, you let them fight it out. I mean right, that's the way you do it.

You want to be better your baby boxing gloves, go at it.

I think.

It let's see where daddy's love.

No, I would say probably just uh be mindful of it, right, don't promote jealousy, right, you gotta.

Be mindful one two As a parent, I think if it comes to time with the parent, make sure you spend time individually. Yeah, I think that that's important both know and and when it comes to things like it's kind of harded one gets something the other one wants something. It's like yank tit for tat, yank for yang. Yeah.

I don't know how you do with that, just buy them both.

Yeah, I've been teaching I've been teaching my kids that now that one gets something, it's okay, you'll get something at another time. They'll be even out eventually, and just trying to show them because my kids are nine and seven, so about like fairness, like it'll all shake.

Out of the end, it'll be fair.

And I think that's important because you got to let them know they're not always they're.

Going to win in life or whatever.

I think that's that's kind of hard.

That's probably one of the hardest lessons I think I'm dealing with now is fairness with the kids. It's like it's not always going to be fair, but hopefully it'll all shake out at one point you'll feel like.

Yeah, I think you got it. But that's also like society has changed so much. Yeah, you show up, I get sports, You show up, you get a trophy? Yeah, right, Like they play games and no one keeps scoring, no one can.

Lose, right right, Like you lose.

I'm sorry, but losing made you want to win? Yeah, Yeah, you don't want that feeling of losing. And just because you show up, you don't get a trophy just for showing up. I would if you grew up and you looked in your trophy Kate as a kid and it's like participated, participated, participated.

Give me disappointed.

Like yeah, when you walk in there and it's like okay, first place, second place to look at and you go, damn it, I won first. Yeah, then this is the one that you got first, and you're like, okay, now I worked hard for the get to that level. I think you always there needs to be something where you understand it.

There are you.

Know, levels of achievement, level achievement, yeah, and things like that, and that everybody doesn't always win playing something.

Yeah.

Yeah, I was dealing with this actually just the other day.

My daughter, she's you know, seventh grade, she's on varsity soccer, and so she played in the first varsity game. So I was I was happened to be home, thank god, and I saw her. She had a hat trick and she scored with a minute left to get the hat trick. And the day two days before that, she scored the game winning goal with a minute left and she had both goals to win the game. So she she had

Be in band. He's very emotionally aware.

Yeah, he's like you.

That participation trophy thing. I thought that was at me. But failure is the greatest lesson I think in line. Now I think it really.

You know, oh boy, wow, I mean damn, if anybody knows it, it's our boy.

Steve but I won't tell you this though.

I never like success, was never a motivator like I did. I didn't play and go okay, I'm I can't wait for all the spoils of success. I was more afraid to fail. I was more afraid to disappoint. I was more afraid not to show up and be great and like live up to the expectations that were.

Put on me.

And that was always my thing. Fear of failure for me with a bigger motivator than anything.

Yeah, you watch it, like I just finished that Derek Jeter doc and I've seen the Jordan Want. Everybody had seen Less Dance, And what you come away with is those guys achieved greatness because it almost seemed like they had a bigger hatred of failure more than an appreciation of success. And like Jeter was like, yeah, we won, but there's still nights. I think about that game, Boo, and it's like, Godlee. I mean, comedy is a professional failure when you see sixty minutes, when you see an

Man.

Honestly, I mean honest, when you say you're nick to you too, something got to be mentally wrong with you.

You didn't even have to be saying to me to know that.

I mean to be like getting that that instant, constant rejection and then like one hit you're like, oh yeah I've hit over the head twenty times. Something else to keep me going, I've got like golf, I guess you hit one bit shot and you sank twenty more coming back.

Yeah.

Yeah, but God bless you guys would especially in football, because I think we all sit around Sunday, we all sit around Monday.

We love it, but I know that that that that's that Monday or Tuesday, the just the physical pain that you guys deal with on a you know, on a weekly basis or what you had done over the course of your career. It's like I think, like as much as I love to cheer on, I'm always still like appreciative, like like of somebody who's serving your country or something like, like, I still have a lot of appreciation for football players more than any other sport because it's that one week.

Yeah well yeah, and he couldn't play. I mean it's a tough week. Like as you get older. When you're young, you play a game, you win. Up the next morning, I can have too bad. I can play another game soon when you get older, Like for me my fifteenth year, I'm.

Like hopefully about Sunday.

Yeah, and then like Saturday, then your mind switching your they start to feel a little bit better. But I I was just I was talking somebody the other day that I think that's the thing that I watch guys now play and I respect these guys who play now. The one thing that drives me crazy it's when they take their jerseys off after the game on the field and they signed them to each other and then they like, hey,

I'll see you.

I'll see that by the bus or whatever, but I'm not gonna do it. That just eats me a lot. Yeah, that's what I can't fathom getting over lost that quickly, within seconds.

But that mentality is why you're in the position you're at. That's why you will tell yourself to a higher standard and you expected a lot more of you.

Problem.

If my teammates did it, I would probably give your mouth shut.

Right, No, I wouldn't. I wouldn't.

I got ad other teammates it wouldn't be to keep their mind shut with that type of stuff either, to the point where I was I would literally like yo, I can't. I can't play with somebody like this. I let that if he kept doing it, let the coach. I can't play with this. G gotta go. He's gotta go. I gotta go.

Yeah, take your pick.

I got this Fox contract.

Sitting in the drum man, you walk well that this has been awesome so much. That's that's what talking about.

Obviously, if you want to talk about abortion rights or the Middle East and what.

Are you crazy. I've been completely enjoying my time with two broke moms.

I got to cast out here and then I watched so we can.

Yeah, no, I no, I appreciate you inviting me on. Man, it's been great.

This is so you know you're saying you've always been so cool and you're awesome.

So and I know you've got lots going on, and I always wanted to thank you for the comforts.

Clothes I've everceived.

Great. They are the.

Comfyist and I wore them to death. So I might have to hitch you up for some more, No.

Problem, no problem, No, but I appreciate coming here. You got the great, You're funny, you're entertaining your potentially you know, liability magic.

This is gonna be great.

Nobody's gonna know what you're talking about.

Can you tell us anything you're you're working on or anything you want?

Man, what the heck am I working on?

I'm always clothing brand.

I'm in the course. I got g m A.

Of course, I got you know Fox the Sunday We're shooting one hundred thousand dollars Pyramid in January.

You'll come back fine Sea.

Oh yeah, come on back and win somebody some money.

I love that.

Of course.

I got my clothing line collection by Michael Strahan ms SEX. And we just released the dog documentary Evolution of the Black Quarterback on Amazon. We have another one coming out next month, this Asian Quarterback.

It's a formative short film.

We just twenty second, sirch second? How long does this say? Never happened?

There you go, It's just going, That's all it is.

Love this.

Oh.

We have the History of Black comedy that we have really out this month. I'm hosted by Chris Spencer Tiffany Hattish and we got all the guys in it, which which she's really has been an incredible story to tell. But you know, we love all these things like people should know the history of quite a few things that they don't know about that we kind of take for granted.

So that's fantastic.

We've been on top of it with our production game and it's great.

Yeah.

When when does the the Comedy the State of Comedy?

That's this month October?

Yeah?

Where at it? I have always going to be on Vice.

Oh great, that's great.

All right, well, congratulations and of course like subscribe if you have any questions you needed us to help you with, right, yeah, where they go? They send us an email to Cool Mom's Pod at Gmail, two Cool Moms Pod at Gmail, and of course at two cool Moms Pod on Instagram.

We love you. Uh, stay safe.

I'm looking at your face, you know what. I'm kind of right down