Be Nice Steve: Episode 41 with Joe Gatto and Steve Byrne

If there was a problem, where to your mother?

Let's get into it. Hey, everybody, welcome to cool Moms.

I am Joe Gatto.

I'm not I'm Steve Stevie could see buddy.

Question for you? Did you get did you get gaddoed?

Did it get gaddo?

You texted me today when we got here. When you got here, you said, Hey, what floor are we on? And I wrote back seven?

Well you got me afterwards? We're on the sixth floor.

Yes?

Did you not to say it? I'm like, I think he thinks it's the seventh, but he's been here before, so I should know better. I should know better, basically is what? Uh? Yeah? After after being friends with you for so long, I should know that you're I should never ask you a question for directions because you'll send me the wrong place.

And then yeah, with confidence, I'll tell you where the bathroom is in a restaurant. Never been to it right, Never asked me someone's name? What's the name Maria? Definitely her name is Maria, Maria. It's Bill's wife, Maria. I don't know Bill, don't know Maria.

Yeah, but you're you're going to you get ready to go to Los Angeles for a film premiere. I hope, So you're going. What are you talking about?

Yeah, I hope to. I hope to go to Los Angeles.

Yeah, Christmas with the Campbell.

That's right, Christmas with the Campbell. Very excited to see it.

A film that our good friend Vince Vaughan produced and our good friend Peter Beilnsley produced and.

My good friend Claire directed, which I did not know.

And Claire has done Hallmark films in the past.

Yeah, correct, Okay, So and our good friends Justin Long and Britney Snow are in it.

Yes, so we know.

I know a lot of people in it, and I didn't get asked to do anything with it. Same here we are just too cool mom, and it by talking about other people's successes.

Some best friends produced another film that they didn't ask me to be part.

Of, some of my childhood heroes.

Yeah, here we go. We're here on the sixth floor.

How do you how do you operate?

Because you asked me a lot of questions that you're just you should know, Like you asked me the address of this place.

A lot every week every time I fly in. What's the address again? And so I wasn't going to do it today. I wasn't going to do it. So I scrolled through UH messages because they deleted after thirty days. I'm like, well, it's been about a month, and I think it's still got to be on Jiggi's. So looked on Jiggi's and now I put it like it. I finally I was like, I can use technology. So I put the address into the UH in his contact and.

So now you know, now you'll always be able to find this place.

Now it's there.

Yeah, but he changed your offices next week.

We're going to seven floor flock.

Yeah, but you're you're yeah, So I mean, yeah, there's things I remember you could give me, like remember Bruce Willison, what was that movie, uh, the Monkeys or whatever? Thirteen Monkeys, thirteen Monkeys. He was like, I never forget a number or whatever. And I was I was always like that were in the day when you would take somebody's number, you could tell it to me once and I would I would remember somebody's phone number with the area code. I just would always be able to retain.

You remember your child's home's phone number?

Yeah, four and two, four and seven?

Uh, should we call it and see who lives there.

Now, okay you want to Yeah, why not.

Block your number though? Oh Star six seven? As for your mom?

As for your mom, okay, you're buying back it could becoming your cell phone number.

Well, you know what, It's funny. I did a show in Pittsburgh about a year ago and a woman came up to me and she says, Hi, Steve Byrne.

I go, yeah, this is your child.

She goes, I want to show you something. I go okay. So she pulls out a license and shows she goes look at the address and it was three Hidden Pond Drive. It's where I lived up, so it was pretty wild. She's like, you should stop buy some time, Mike. Yeah. And she was there with her her kids or whatever, and I was like, oh, that's so awesome.

It was so cool.

I've never showed up, but I did drive past it because I'd rented a car and I drove past, and just like when I was growing up, they had a street hockey net right at the top.

And I was like, yeah, that's really coo. I can't leading down and play on your old street.

Did you have you ever gone back to your childhood?

My house has got knocked down and they put houses on the lot. So they built seven houses where my house was like these little like townhouse condo things right right on the corner a lot of mine. So we were the last people that were there. But I still think there's dogs buried in the back. So we had a dog. We buried one of our dogs in the back, and there was like they left the yard, which was very odd. And you still see the cross that we made.

Want to see it.

So we're talking, Yeah, nineteen my father died five, so nineteen ninety six this is. And so the contractor built knocked down the houses. Contracting knocked down the house and then we I went there like ninety eight or whatever when they were just like finishing up, and they still had to like the bushes up with the cross like in the back, and I was like did they not?

Wow? Really?

Yeah?

So but but it's probably gone now. Yeah, no one lived in my lived in that house.

Did you pay your respects?

I did?

You did?

I knelt down? Yeah?

I did. So my my my grandfather bought the house on a whim.

He drove by it.

This is he had tomato money, my grandfather, he had the models, Tomatos Brothers Incorporated money. This.

Wait, didn't he he invented tomato sorting machine.

Yeah, yeah, and he had that tomato money.

So but it was all cash. She was Sicilian, you know, so uh so it.

Was he was running the show there and he walked into My grandmother grew up in Camden, New Jersey, in a big yard, and this house reminded her of that, right, and she didn't even see the inside. She said, I want that house. And my grandfather knocked on the front door and bought it. I swear to got it bought for like ten thousand.

Dollars cash movie where he because my wife.

Wants O Livia.

So they hadn't even seen the inside the house and went so I was complete shithole like that. So he had to renovate like the whole thing whatever. My grandma actually started crying. He's like, what have I done?

I'm so sorry, and he's like, don't worry, we'll fix it up. So he did that.

Wait, so he literally just knocked on the dorse said I want to buy it. The people working there lived there, absolutely.

Yeah, they said ten thousand dollars cash or whatever he said, or you know whatever, it was, fifty thousand cash, whatever it was, and he gave it to.

Him, but he didn't think to go inside and kick the town.

That's where they wanted to live in, Okay.

But my grandfather was like a fixer upper guy. Him and my uncles they could like just just like you, just like, yeah, yeah, my favorite tool is the Yellow Pages.

So uh.

So they uh so when they bought it from this family that had built the house.

So then my grandparents lived there with my mom.

My mom was I think nine or ten when she moved in it, and then my parents bought it from them, and then we grew up in it.

And then it got knocked down.

So for like two thirds of this thing's life was our family, which is crazy.

Yeah, so we.

Knocked it well, I like kind of it is a shame, but it's also kind of nobody else got to live there, which is kind of cool.

Yeah, you know, so I burnt it down.

I mean they're not. Yeah, So that that was that was that was pretty cool to have like that experience. But my house was the first to go on the block when they started renovating all of that Staten Island and my neighbor's house, Jason Joseph, he had this big house and they would like the last to sell. So there's all these new houses up and then Jason's like the lapidated house like in the middle of it.

Oh, still, what is the Are the homes bigger and nicer or no?

No, they're just like the townhouse set up, like that's that was turned into. You know, it's like everybody's got to shared walls, you know that kind of thing.

It's nice to go back to section eight when you I do.

I appreciate it.

Yeah, I listen in the hood man marenis harbor Hubble boys. Don't mess with them, babe. Jason Gordon brought a clock to my backyard. I let him win that basketball game.

I do want to say the new Hours out now on Amazon Prome. Only one of us has an hour that's on that's on. You're you make a lot more money doing your hour currently. But you were very helpful in directing this and overseeing it. And I just want to say it's the.

Best comedy special ever that ever has come out ever, and people need to say it. Yes, it is called The Last Late Night with Steve Burney. It's available on Amazon Prime. It is and if you are a fan of this podcast, any podcast, if you're a fan of words, actually if if you speak.

And air, if you breathe, you should watch.

It because it's for you. I was very proud of multiple things with this project.

For you.

First of all, you are a very thank you and I also wanted to mention, uh, you you are very meticulous in your presentation of what you know is going to be a project that's going to reflect you. And I was very taken back on how serious you were about it and also how it was to you and how much you cared about it. It didn't feel like you were just churning out, Oh it's time to do another hour. Sure, it felt like, oh, this is going to be something

You be nice to them.

Be nice is my worst Steve before it walks out, never listens. But I've always seen your stuff and I felt this thing has you know, it just had it has heard it. It's funny as hell, it has heart and is a great story and you really get you really open up in a way that you haven't in your other specials, which I really enjoyed.

Thank you. So I am excited. Attention to detail I think that I put to the special I tried to bring to two cool moms as well. The decor, the color palettes.

The design that you did. No, I did that.

You did that, and you did so you did get Oh you forgot.

So you fly here and you think that's enough. So that's good. No, But I'm proud of it, and I'm excited for people to see it, and I want to make sure that people, you know, give it to love and please please do because you know you deserve it.

It's great and I want to hear people have.

To say, yeah, I do too. You know. That's the thing with these things, And we were discussing it before we went on air that just like you film these things and so much work and investment goes into them and then you forget. It's like, oh, yeah, now I hope people like it.

Yeah, now, are you nervous for people to see it? What's your what's your what's your vibe?

I'm excited for people to see it because I think because the concept is so unique and different. And again it's you know, it's the late night talk show, so it's and hour special. It takes place on the set of a late night talk show. And talk shows are really three styles of writing. It's one liners, that's your monologue, panel storytelling, traditional stand up at the end. So I remember when I first came up with the concept, it

Bold me.

So he uh. He saw it on board. And then when I when I knew it was going to actually happen, we had started working together, and I know how attentive you are to detail and how good you are with production, and I thought, well, you know, I think it's so funny sometimes when comics are like, yeah, Chris Rock's directing my special, or so and so is directed, but it's like, okay, yeah, that's anybody could direct a special. My mom could direct

Of live band. Like I had a lot of decisions.

To be made creativity, creatively, and you came in and you had great ideas out of the gates. You were Honestly, you were the first person I met other than me that got at the minute I said it. There's still some people like even when they after taping afterwards, I heard it like seven times. Yeah, you kept explaining to me. I never understood until I saw it, And I was like,

But I can't wait to do the next one.

Yeah, well, I can't wait to see yours. I mean, now that you've.

Called the first morning show, Now that you did that, and you've had the experience with that, and honestly within a year's time it's basically been a year you've been on the.

Road, you have a bona fide truly great, engaging, entertaining hour you could I mean, based off everything I've seen, you're not doing these in clubs. You're doing them in theaters. I mean that's another mark of like an achievement. It's harder to do that. It's it's harder to sustain attention for sixty minutes in a theater environment than it isn't a club. Club's a lot more intimate. So again another testament. But but is that something that's on the radar.

Well, it wasn't it until I when I did yours, I was like, oh, this could be fun. And then now being now having the hour and realizing the content is there and it's really strong.

I'm really proud of it.

It's different because like in the beginning, I was like, Okay, I'm doing this, figure it out, and I was like, oh, this is really fun, this is funny. And then when I found two or three new chunks to put in that really were different, and I felt like we're good. And then once I stepped up to the theaters, and so I think, ultimately, yeah, I think I would do it because I want this to live on, right, Yeah, I want to live on I want to go. I don't know where I would do put it or whatever, but

It's like, okay, it's here. It is.

I could give my kids the DVD to bury me with.

Right in a grim. You know what that is? That's bold, that's true.

Asked me, what am I going to die?

No?

I said, no, you don't never know.

Pali goes, you never do, Dad.

He's five Jesus as he's stirring your coffee.

Ye oh my god, I'm not going to bed early.

Bitch, right, thank you?

So no, well, congratulations, I'm very excited for it. And it's a big achievement. And uh, I know, a fifth hour. Not many comics don't even get one.

Well, it's funny because now is the classic conundrum, right, is Okay, you put it out there in the world and it's like, Okay, they're gonna start coming to see you. So now what And so that's the that's the thing that's so frustrating, is like I want to start writing again, but then you're sitting there looking at a blank notebook, going okay, well, if I'm gonna write, at least for me, I need to know what i'm writing about, Like what is the backbone? What am I driving towards? What's what

You know, everyone has a process. Though you'll get there. You did it five times already, I.

Know, but it's still it's still like every time I it's funny because I feel like I don't know what I'm doing. You know, when you're starting over. He was just like, what do I do? And then I I was flying here today and I was thinking about I was like, what if I just did another episode of the talk show just I mean, it's such a fun format. Yeah, I was thinking, Wow, I could do another round of it, you know, because I have all these stories that have actually happened, like really happened.

I mean, so much stuff you said here too is so entertaining. Yeah, we'll see.

I don't know, so, I don't know. We'll think about that, but but uh, yeah, I can't wait to see yours. I think would be whatever you're gonna do, it's gonna be really really well done.

You're just trying to direct it.

No, I'm not. No, I think I honestly think you could. You could self direct your own.

Yeah, I mean maybe we'll see what it is.

I think day of you once you once you're going, I mean your cameras.

Are going going.

Yeah, not like you need to. Yeah, you know whatever.

How excited for Jiggy's Yeah direct, I'm going to direct jiggis from He doesn't know it yet.

He doesn't yeah, and ask me, doesn't know it, but I'm gonna direct.

Well, now he's sitting there going funk, I gotta come up with another thirty minutes.

Oh no, he's like one hour, yeah, and one time zone.

What would what would Jiggy's backdrop be? Let me ask you. Then I'll have an idea, and then let's ask Jiggy.

What is I would I think you'd be most comfortable if it was a baseball field.

Oh yeah, yeah right, okay.

Called first pitch with Jiggy. First pitch, Yeah, because it's his first special right there you go.

Yeah, if we do in a dugout, I only need nine people.

I'm just thinking about capacities.

I was thinking, you know, he's he's done so much online in the.

Food space of course kitchen.

Yeah, I was thinking he could film it in the food truck ah with four other people. Yeah, there you go, just put you cut, you cut already the capacity he got.

From nine to four.

We have such faith in mine.

Just in front of my roommate talking to R and Jiggy specially will be called look, I actually smile, yeah, because you know, I mean when I first came out, I brought my camera and I was taking pictures and I was like, when is this dude gonna smile? Yeah? It was crazy. And then every now and then he does, and he gets it. But he's always smiling off stage.

It's one of the friendliest guys I know.

Yeah, and then on stage he looks like a damer victim or or.

All right, forget annoy, let's get let's get in helmet some people.

All right.

So just just for the record, last late night airing now Amazon Prime free for Prime members. Thank you, Joe.

Okay, here we go, Thank you Steve.

You're giving the people one hour to laugh. We're making the word laugh one hour at a time, or forty five minutes at a time if you're watching this.

Okay, here we go. You ready, this is coming to us from Celeste. Very excited about this one. Okay, there's three, so we could hit each one of these. They're they're quick hits. Ready, weirdest pet peeve? Where does pet weirdest? You're weird?

They said, where does weirdest pet peeve?

Where does pet?

I don't know, I don't know where. Apparently my where are my pet peeves?

Where is where does pet peeve? It's buried in state Nile.

Oh, Peeve, rest and peace rest in peeve. My big, my biggest pet pee Okay, I'm gonna I'm gonna say is when people eat loudly, yeah, in a closed space, if people like yeah, like or you know or yeah.

There's a lot of that in my life.

But you're from Sunday's big Italian family. You think you might be used to that.

But it's never quiet at the table.

Yeah, you know, if somebody just is old to not talking, never.

At the table, Joe, I know, but I know you want it.

Quiet, but I want it quiet at the table.

I mean if you're quietly eating at the table with somebody and you're just hearing and the way they eat and they pull the fork up to their face, and the way they eat a chip out of a bag and they're looking at you one at a time. I'm not looking at anybody in particular. But I can't stand the way Jiggy eats. Its crazy. It drives me insane.

I've never known Jiggy to be allowed eat.

No, just a slow, weird eater like wash my s got weird eats like a bag of chips. Like I yelled at him a lot because he first of all, my Peven, it's Jiggy and he knows, you know, because

Get your steamy middle all over it.

He drops his claw and like he si the choice yeah, and then he just and no and right into the mouth hole and then right back in no beat, but still dribble. But there is chips are chips if we're in the car or we share, who doesn't ship chips? First of all, they his chips. If you have a bag of chips, I'm eating them. If you open up a bag, M and m's, I'm fucking in there. I'm the third M. It's eminem's and me.

Okay, you're right, you're right, you're right, because when you do go eat, that's okay. But what are you doing when you're in the car. You're supposed to pour into a bowl.

No, you're supposed to pour in the hand.

Does no one does that? Yeah? In a car you poured your hands, not driving there be so much debris. Yeah, who would do that?

If any human?

No, no, like even like a British aristocrat wouldn't let me pull my chips into my hand?

Please British?

And why don't with the pinkyad? What are you doing British people? First of all, don't you have food?

And it's known.

That's a sharing type of people. Okay, that's why.

We had to fight for independence.

I do I do the out of the bag. If you're taking it, hey, can I get some of them?

This is a cake? Can I get some of them? That's the difference.

You're out of the bag, you pour into the hand and pop an eminem. If you're eating M and m's out of the bag, what do you do? You do a dig or you do a dump?

I do a dig by M and ms. Now your mine? I bought them from me. I don't buy eminem's expecting you know, you to be around the corner. Gone.

You have never offered me an eminem when you're eating them.

You always have you're of course, so now you're inviting me also to your germy fingers.

Here's where with gum? If I have gum, yes, get your own gums.

Wrapped.

Who's rolling around with a thing of poles?

Do you know what you want?

Hot? I want hot gum seated on a gum, another pet peeve gum in the back.

Pa.

Oh god, yeah, a hot gum is the worst thing to put in your mouth. A hot gum, A hot oh, a hot baba. Nobody wants a hot bubba by my mouth? Oh god? Double twiny okay, okay, fruit, it's gonna move you toilet. That's the worst.

Hot red, big red, big red red, good way.

I don't like a cinnamon. That's a cinnamon explosion in your mouth.

Bid yeah, big out of the juicy fruit wig Lee spearmint or big red. You go, big red, Top three, you go, big red.

Juicy Fruit's great for three seconds, the.

Best three seconds. You'll have a half. Wait, you didn't give a pet peeve though.

Uh my, my weirdest pet peeve. I don't know what it is. I don't know where it comes from. I've thought about it. If I get soap underneath my fingernails, it makes.

Me like a hands, like a bar soap.

If I go get the ivory or something in my and and I get a little even if I'm picking it and as wet or something. I get soap under under my fingernails. I get like, I just get the he b GB. I don't know what it is, so I have to I have to pick it up the right way.

It's a weird feeling.

Yeah, I don't know. Something that must have happened in a past life.

Yeah, yeah, hot buba, All right, hot buba.

Okay, here's the next question. What's for dinner tonight? What's for dinner for you tonight?

I'm getting taken out to dinner by my friend James Murray around the tails and it's well, I'm hoping to get the second base.

Where are we?

We'll going to a place right around the corner from here. Boy, it's an.

BLOPI is a great name for it.

The Blimpy's is the worst name.

For anything but flimpy sandwich.

Glimpy?

What I E?

They did it to be fun? Do you have the Blimpe's? You never? You don't have blompes. You have Blumpe's.

Oh it's after Okay makes sense now.

No blimpe subway put him under some way in question.

Food poisoning once from my last blimpiece.

Really yeah, are they aren't they named after experiens. Popey's friend Blimpe, isn't his name? Popey's friend who always ate? I'll i'll pay gladly pay you now, Bruto, but he's a bad guy.

It's wimpyways, I'm glad they pay you for a hamburger today, for a hamburger, right, Yeah. I think the Blimpe's because they look like a blimp. Like a blimp, I'm a dip ship. I didn't put that together.

You got it? Well, there you go, all right, So another finger nails chross.

Okay, what's the second last question? That's a good question.

So last for the first one?

What's for dinner? Okay? Ready, who was your childhood crush?

I had a couple.

It was your first Uh sorry, I'm gonta.

I go to celebrity, going to celebrity, you're going to people people in your life.

I would say, I would say, well, that's a good way to look at it, because.

Daniel Kennedy for sure was my childhood crushed in school, in school, in school, what was it about Daniel Kennedy?

She was just gorgeous. Yeah, she just hit me, hit me right.

She had beautiful brunette hair, she was sweet, nice tan skin, beautiful, beautiful.

And and and who did Daniel Kennedy become?

When I got the bloody nose on I sneezed on at our date? Remember that story?

Yeah, yeah, we went to the movies as a girl.

Have you seen her on Facebook or anything? Yeah?

Yeah, I think I think they.

That's that's who came up when you put that's.

That's a face you see when the lightning bolt strikes and standing your bed at three in.

The morning, that's a scary. That was my childhood. Actually, you know what that's that's actually kind of a lie. It was probably Christine Cordani, Christine Cortin Cordani.

What was about Christine cordon.

Christine Cordanni was just she was a basketball player. She played basket like it, uh, super sweet, super sweet as well. There's just something about Christine Cordney. I gave her my tie when we graduated eighth grade, so we all had to wear eighth grade our eighth grade you know ties and Santa Daberts and then the boys when they graduated, they.

Gave their tide to who they liked the big leagues. That's it. Yeah, And then I never talked to her again.

You never talked to her. Have you heard through the grapevine what she's up to.

They all know of me and about me, because just because there was a tight NIT community in stant Alan. Yeah, I think I've bumped into people here and there. One of my good girlfriends in that group, her name is Tracy. She lived actually ended up living with her boyfriend on the same block as me and my mother was my mother's basement. She was renting somebody else's basement with her

I think they're all friends and follow me still on.

Facebook and whatnot, but I don't really talk to any of them.

Yeah.

So those would be Mike Tho would be probab Yeah, definitely, Christine Cordani.

Yeah. How about you Amy Runyon. Oh, I think I was like the canyon what well? Yeah, yeah, I think it was spelled like.

You didn't put run your canyon together?

That trust trying to block Los Angeles out of my mind?

Amy Runyon.

A what was it about? Amy?

Uh? Just I don't know. It's like she's she had this great smile. And we were at church camp. This must be like six or seven.

Nothing like a run in the church camp. What the hell is church camp?

You don't went to church camp. Never, everybody from your church goes to camp for or whatever. Yeah, they can't.

They called church camp.

Yeah, but very little Jesus involved.

Really.

He never showed up.

Never kind of a bummer on the third day.

But I remember we we went into school, uh, and I let I let her borrow my deaf leopard set tape and we were in Spanish class and she listened to like an earbud and.

We did that's the modern and lady in the tramp, Yeah, that's modern lady.

And uh and that was it. That was it. That That's as far as it went. We shared we shared earbuds.

Yeah, I never, I never.

I never took it further than giving a tie or giving a bloody nose sneeze onto a girl.

That are my two crushes.

Yeah, but that was uh, yeah, that was her and I think she I think she got a Yeah, she got married, just like most groups too. At some point.

Yeah, they met a boy.

Yeah, boy head intercourse.

Popped out one or two.

She probably never thought about me ever.

Well I heard that she named her first get Steve.

No relation.

Just look, son a bitch, you're gutting me. This is coming to us from Okay, this is interesting, celestic great.

The last that was great.

Three questions c last great it is from Grace. A quick question for Joe and Steve if you do this too when at your shows? Do you you ever go up to the balcony just to see what everyone else sees? We just did it from below. Yeah, we just did it.

Where was that was then?

Less expensive seats for the Palace theater at Joshow.

So okay, yeah, we just did it at an elk cart Indiana was.

A Yeah, gorgeous theater.

Gorgeous.

That was gorgeous. Yeah, very surprising to me, so so cool.

And we actually got to stand up and look at it from the top.

And I always like the first thing I do is when I stand on.

Stage, I look to see where the back if I could see the back, so you know how far you have to project to connect and whatnot.

I talked to the I talked to the balcony as much as I do the orchestra.

A lot of people when they play kind of down here, but I love looking up look at Yeah. But uh yeah, I think I think I do do that pretty often.

Actually, yeah, because we get there earlier. You know, we get there.

Yeah, you you always get there early.

You like to walk, You don't.

If the show. If I'm on at eight fifteen, I like to show up at eight fourteen. I don't like to putts around. I like to just dip in do it. I don't like waiting around.

Sometimes you do, al'ad even do it for as long as you're supposed to. That's my favorite story about you is when you opened for Colin. Jos I came to see you. Me and Jiggy came to see you open for Colin. And Colin they had like five openers and they were like, He's like just two ten minutes. You're like, fine, do fifteen minutes, right or whatever you're doing fifteen fifteen. You said fine because you had a bunch of people opening for him, so you're like, fine, I'll do fifteen.

Before you was closing.

I rushed there.

Yeah, so you rush there. You got in and you had hit traffic, and because it's New York, of course it's New Jersey. And then you got on stage and you said, all right, just give me a light because you were little like so I know, I have to wrap up a little frazzled. And the way that the theater was set up, as in the top right corner there was a sound technician who had a TV monitor like a computer monitor was looking at all of it, and the monitor was bright, and it was in the

Well that happened with us this past weekend where I got off I think a little earlier because I said I'm gonna do this. I'm gonna do this I'm gonna do this. I'll end on this.

Literally ironing my shirt. It was only me and you was a two man show. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm literally ironing my shirt in the green room. And I hear you say, you guys ready to keep the show going. And I was like this, mother, you told me you're doing. I watched you.

Do your joke, but I was at I was at uh. I think I was at twenty or whatever. It is, like if I'm doing twenty, I'm at the twenty minute mark, I'm like, I gotta go off stage because I don't want to go over because some people are just particular, Like I'd be particular, you know, if somebody's going over, Like if you say you're doing twenty and then you do twenty four twenty five, I'd be like, okay. But if if i'm if if I say I'm doing you

You were crushing, Like, I don't want you to go an extra three minutes if they're doing well, yeah, don't stand there for your suck and get out of well.

I know you know what I mean though, right I fin I didn't want to.

But if we didn't have the conversation when you told me, because I watched you were doing a bit, a new bit that I wanted to see before that. So I watched that bit. I was like, okay, that did great, and then I left to go on my shirt because I figured I was okay, I have time now.

I was in my undershirt.

Sure was sitting there and you were supposed to do that last bit and you were introducing me, and all I hear is Zach, one of the guy who works for us. He's like, show.

Running, looking you here, Hello, beautiful, Like, oh mother, let's go. Yeah, yeah, that was That was funny with Colin even calm, He's like, whoa, that's like that was coming. I'll give you the friend discount. Don't worry. Okay, this is coming to us from Rachel Hi Steve. I met Joe at a show in Greensboro, the one where he brought a baby up on stage, and he told me to send you this photo to remind you all to answer my awesome question. So do

Yes, I met her at the meeting.

The reminder yes, yes. Question is how do you face your greatest fear? Love you mommies, and thanks again to Joe for.

All the last That wasn't the question she asked me.

How do you face your greatest fear?

Scroll up? What was the question she asked before? That is?

That's what she asked. That's it because she told me a different question, and I said, oh, that question is awesome.

That wasn't the question that.

You think. I'm making it up.

No, I mess a question.

I'm messing with you.

I gotta go to the Sevenfore, how do you face.

Your greatest fear? I thought was very good because.

I like sometimes what we could give advice, and I feel like fear freezes on lot of people. I've seen it. I've lived it. I've seen it more than I've lived it. I try to fight through the fear, but I've also seen it as a parent with my daughter and my son. But I think fear is the isn't a mobilizer, sure, and it doesn't only stop you from growing or doing things, but also affect it could affect a full life path. I think fear is the single most probably besides regret.

I don't yeah, I don't disagree with you when you put it in the context like that. It's such a smart way to break it down. Yeah, when I hear fear, I just start thinking of horror films because you had like a grade. But but I agree, I think, you know, it's fearful to you know, like being in the industry we're in, there's so much to fear. Like there truly is like if you if you wrote down all the speed bumps, the road bumps, the doors that are going to the constant rejection.

Right, it's a land mind that it's all over. Yeah, nobody would take a step.

Everybody's greatest fear. It's ranked higher than death, right, And that's what we do. It's what we do for a living, and and via public speaking, we make a living doing this. You know, some and then all others then also feary to fail.

But you fail to make somebody laugh, right, So that's that's right, Right, you're publicly speaking with a feary to fail from making people laugh. And everyone is looking at you. Well, so it's like everything wrapped together, right.

I don't think people realize the most common attribute to being a comedian is failure. You're taking things on a daily or nightly basis, right, Things you scribbled on a notepad or in a napkin, or you just remembered it on your phone. You you bring it to the stage.

We're also trying it in the moment.

Trying it in the moment, nine times out of ten, it's gonna fail. The one time out of ten, that's what keeps you going, right. So I think stand up comedy is the ultimate lesson in failure. I mean, it could be attributed to so many professions, but just because of what we did do, I just think it's more This job is more about failure than anything. I mean, when you watch an hour special, you're seeing the one

Sixty minutes that worked, not the one hundred and eighty minutes that didn't.

Yeah, yeah, I mean that's the right way to put it. So I think it's I think if anybody understands or appreciates or you know, doesn't mind giving a warm embrace to failure. It's anybody that does this for a living. Yeah, sure, but I think what.

About you think about fear When you think about fear just in general, right in your life. Now take it away from comedy, but just think about how you've conquered things. Fear of commitment, right to get married, or fear of fatherhood, fear of like any of that stuff, like fear of

But you had to have that failure. It's almost like success is like a is like a graduation of failures. Right, So you've got to you've got to get your teeth kicked in, you got a trip, you gotta fall, you've got to get hammered, and all these things. And the key is if you don't learn from those failures, then you'll never get to those successes. Yes, then you're just caught up in the definition of insanit, which is doing

I think my advice would be similar to yours. If you can't fight through the fear to do it, like if you have to like it, whatever it is, it's your fear of something.

You're facing your fear and you want to get through it.

And I'm not like talking about like heights or any of that stuff, like you know, a rachmophobia, those things I'm talking about like fear of like making a decision in your life, for taking a risk, if that's the fear, because that's what I think, that's what I imagine she's speaking of. I don't think you're like, how to give them my fear of spiders. If you can't get through it, the most important thing to do is like a first identifying, try to dismantle it.

Dismantle it. What are you afraid of?

What?

Why? Like? What's the outcome?

Break it down as best you can talk to people that you trust, get their insight, talk about it, talk about it. I'll try to just take you know, the more you talk about something, the more you could work it out.

That's always a big thing for me. If you can't.

Ultimately do it, you have to be okay with that, because then you'll get regret. And if you get regret on top of the fear, like you completely dismantle yourself in a mental you know, you're giving yourself a mental state that's just it's craziness. Like you can get through it. Now you regret that you couldn't get through it, be okay with it. You can't get through it.

If you can't get through it, right, you.

Can't face the fear and you can't fight through it. And you can't, you have to be okay with it and be like, Okay, at least I tried and did everything I could to try to get through this fear.

I just can't do it.

Then be okay with it, right right, right?

Yeah, But I agree with you. I think to have regret is almost more painful than the fear itself. Right, So, and also just just fuck it, just do it, just get out and do it.

Yeah, Yeah, like you gotta give it a shot, because you know what, You're gonna be dead.

You're gonna bead die.

We're all gonna die.

You're gonna be dead.

So you know when ultimately like people like, oh, life doesn't matter. It doesn't like that's also a good thing, right.

People like, it doesn't matter, it's all futile. We're gonna die anyway.

You are gonna die anyway, so might as well give it a fucking go.

I I agree, I think I don't know. I I you hear that so often, right, it's like, well, we're gonna die, it doesn't matter, you know, we're all just I remember watching this thing Jim Carrey. We're just a specting you. Un None of this fucking matters. It's easy to say that when you have one hundred million dollars

I think that's sentence right with perspective is completely there.

We're all gonna die, it doesn't matter. Or we're all gonna die. It don't matter.

Yeah, right, if you're coming at her from the angle of all we're all gonna die, it doesn't matter. I might as well be defeated in life. Or hey, I might as well try to give this the best shot that I can because we're gonna die.

It doesn't matter anyway.

Yeah, Like, it's just all about perspective, right, So just try to figure out that fear and get through it.

It's so funny because I there were times, like when I was younger, I was like, if I sat here and thought of all the reasons why I shouldn't go up tonight, I'd make a very valid case, you know.

So you can talk to abou about anything.

You can absolutely talk yourself out of it. But every time at like you know, when I was younger and I was going around the city and making the rounds and stuff, there wasn't a night that went by that I didn't think, well, Okay, I fucking pancaked on that stage tonight. It was a horrible set, but I still garnered experience from it, and I learned from it, and

But I would I will be on the page of It's better to pancake and a failure than to waffle in indecision. Oh yeah, and that is a breakfast pun that works is also advice, and that's what you get here on two Cool Moms because it's great. It's a great quote that I thought of and I think it's I think it's very good and I want to make a T shirt and wear.

I was just going to say, we now have merch and you got to put the one line on the front and the other on the back, and then under the second line it goes, now I'm hungry.

Sausage, so gets a bacon.

I think that's I think that's valles.

I think you really just got to fight through it, and you know, I just go, just go, man, just go.

Yeah, it's so funny, you know, not to get too personal. And I mean, this is so far removed. But I have a friend that's in a horrible relationship. Okay, he doesn't listen to this, so I'm fine, Okay, in bad relationship, and every time I talk to him, just you know, it's this, this is this, there's elements tying him to the relationship, right, But I'm just sitting there going, you're just fucking scared. You're just scared. Get the hell out

You guys could be a short stack together pancake afelies, or you could be waffling waffle in decisions. Yeah, what what do you want for breakfast? Yeah?

I think we really did it.

Today, guys. Well, thanks so much for listening too, cool Miles, we appreciate you. Watch Steve Burn's special on Amazon Prime. It's called The Last Late Night with Steve Burne. Yes, it's phenomenal.

I'm very proud of you and I love you.

Proud of you, I love you, and thank you for directing it. And I'll be at the Brea Improv, Houston Improv and New Year's Eve weekend at the Milwaukee Improv. And then I haven't really announced it yet, but we're I'll be doing my residency in Las Vegas at the Jimmy Kimmel Club January through July, and I know we'll have some things going on. Sure, I'll pop by that, yeah, and we'll get uh yeah, you're pointing at him to eat some chips on.

Some chips on stage.

As I could watch him and you know, yeah, I can just seethe.

I don't want to. I don't want to listen to him eat waffles.

All right, Thank you, These two cool mommies love you, so show us some love.

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