It's in the news today, but it was actually on TV Reload, the podcast last Keep that by.
Hey guys, welcome back to TV Reload. Thank you for clicking and downloading. On today's episode with Scott, who was the first contestant to voluntarily leave Astrain and Survivor on Network ten, I will be talking about his time in Samoa and of course what he thinks now that the smoke has well and truly been snuffed out on his torch.
Australian Survivor Titans Versus Rebels is a showdown that pits the winners against the underdogs and the big wigs against the battlers, with each player competing for the grand prize of half a million dollars. Scott is a creative director at Mona in Tasmania. In his game of Survivor, he dominated the Rebels faction alongside his longtime ally Kirby. Scott enjoyed a smooth run throughout the tribal phase of the game. Shortly after the merge, however, Scott was forced to confront
the emotional turmoil of the game. Unable to bear the toll of his hectic environment around him, he opted to quit the show. Scott will talk about his decision to quit and give us some insights into how we coped after the show and what he thinks of the vetting process on getting into Australian Survivor. We will talk about his connection with Kitty and how much of that played into his decision to leave. Scott will unpack how we rationalize leaving the Tribal Council and if there was two
unfair on winner with his immunity idol being wasted. Plus, we will get a great story on Raymond and how he collected some significant items and suggested Scott make a hidden immunity idol out of it. There is actually so much to unpack with Scott, and he's super open to having a conversation about his decision to leave this show and the realities of what it was like to be on Australian Survivor. So sit back and relax as we dive just that little bit deeper into the world of
Australian Survivor. How are you Scott here? All right?
I'm good, thank you. Feeling a lot better now than I was last night.
Yeah, of course, of course. Jo. What I also think is quite amazing is that we're here and you're looking so happy. You look great, and we're celebrating your time an Australian survivor.
Yeah, I'm so glad we are. I was a bit worried about how it was all gonna come out, you know, like you get so anxious waiting for your episode and you never know how it's going to come out. Right, you're seeing it for the first time too, you're just like everyone else sat on the couch. So for me last night was a bit of a sort of a worry. But seeing it last night I was fine. I was like, Okay,
do you know what they've done this so well? They've somehow made two challenges, merge and me having somewhat of a breakdown work into an episode of television.
I think it's good. It's actually really great television at the end of the day. And I think it was handled all really well. This could have been a bit of a dog's breakfast, to be honest with you, but it seemed like there were some people behind the scenes that really knew how to handle the situation.
I agree, and that, honestly, I felt that when I was out there too. You felt that on the ground from the whole side of things you don't see on the TV.
Right.
The crew, they're amazing, and I felt like I had them backing me up the whole time and were just there for me, and I was heard and I felt safe, and it was kind of like no decision was the wrong decision, you know, it was very much like, how do you want to do this? Because we're here to just kind of help you.
That my take them from watching last night with you, though, is I think that, you know, sometimes they can be pain behind a beautiful smile watching even this. I rewatched the episode this morning after I'd seen the result. I want to go back and watch it again. And I did notice you smiling a lot through that episode. Is that something that you know you do as a coping mechanism, to like just to smile through situations where you might feel a little bit uncomfortable.
Yeah, I think I do, and I think I have learned a bit of that watching the show. You know, I'm such a smiling person. I'm always happy, and I'm always kind of like, I just have a sunny disposition. That's how I am. But then sometimes definitely in my awkwardness or in my anxiety, I'll smile or I'll like be giggling or laughing my way through something when actually I'm probably not feeling that way at all.
So even for me on self reflection of watching and the show, I think about how much of a people please I am, and so I project an emotion that I think people want from me, where that isn't always the way that I feel inside.
Yeah, I get that, and I have had a lot of people say the same thing to me after last night, and that's been so it's overwhelming because it's lovely to hear all of this support, but then at the same time, you can't help but feel like, oh, my gosh, there's so many people going through similar things out there, and you feel for each one of them, and you're like, oh, it's kind of like really shocking to suddenly be made very aware of just how big a thing this is,
you know, and it's affecting so many people. And I think even something like what you just said, I feel like just trying to present a certain way or look a certain way it can take such a toll on you, and watching yourself on reality TV that's such a huge confrontation and such a weird way of seeing that manifest I hate normally seeing photos of myself or you know, I'm not that sort of person that's jumping in front of a camera.
So suddenly seeing yourself after a month of living on a beach not at your best.
Well, you didn't start off like the metist of blokes either, Like when you turned up on the show, I was like, he's a very thin man, so like I didn't have much to lose, no waight to lose, my friend, there was nothing.
I think I lost about five and a half kilos or five feelers by the time I left, which is huge because, like I said, I didn't go in there putting weight on, thinking Okay, now I've got It's not like alone, where I think people go in there thinking of that sort of side of survival. They're more thinking, you know, how do I think about Survivor and watch the show on each pair for the different advantages and the different things that are coming to hit me.
I've spoken to many people over the years from doing this show, and that's always the common stories that people have. Were always so shocked by the conditions.
You know, yeah, like and you think it's going to be fine, You're like, it's just going to be like camping and it's going to be all right, but then when you get there and you know you're suddenly made just the sleep and the food altogether, like those two playing at each other are just so hard because normally
it's one or the other, it's not both. And then an unfamiliar space and then the actual outdoors and you know, without a tart, that made things ten times worse because you can just see those clouds coming in and you're like, oh no, I Saen's rain, and then all of a sudden, surely enough it's pouring down.
And then there's a tsunami. It was just a different story altogether. How are you feeling about the decision to leave the show today, Because one thing that's very different is the feeling whilst during it to then having some time and space between the experience and now, and then also then watching the show back. This must be a very interesting headspace to be And now when you're thinking about that decision to leave.
This whole week leading up to it's been pretty difficult because I feel like I've been reliving it in some ways, like I've been super anxious and I get ticks as well when I'm feeling sort of on edge, and I was really worried that was going to manifest out there too,
and everyone's going to be like, what's he doing? His jaws going or his fingers are working over time, but that's actually played more out of the game, and I think last night it was sort of really stressful to watch, but at the same time it was like this huge breath of release. I think can been like, Okay, it's out of the way, and you know, I'm still me and I'm still standing by that decision. This tiny part
of you. It can't help feel like, oh, I wish I could have just pushed through or you know, stuck in there for another day. But then my partner rightly reminded me that would have just been like a band aid on the scenario. That wouldn't have been fixing it, and you wouldn't have woken up tomorrow feeling any sort of different. You might have been smiling and feeling like, oh, today's sunny and we can get through this, and I'm feeling a bit more positive. But then who knows what
would have happened a week later. And I was also very conscious that jury was coming up, and I thought, oh, how is this gonna imagine if I'd been feeling this way but stuck in jerry Villa. So I still I would have been lose, lose because you've not won the game and you're still having to process all of that. But then you're also not with your loved ones or your family and still have none of those coping mechanisms back home. So I think that would have been even worse.
So I think really looking back on it, it was a blessing that I did it at that moment, I think so.
I mean, I think it was a really powerful moment of television for you to reflect on your mental health and take control of the situation. I think there's something very vital in that that viewers of this show got to. It's a reminder that we do need to take control of the situation sometimes and put ourselves first.
Yeah, I think so too. Even something like that where you're in the middle of something that you've dreamt about for so long, Like I know for other people that can be like a dream job, or you know, they might be somewhere that they've dreamt of being, but sometimes
something can just pop up, like with mental health. Right, I was just saying before that it had been well over a year since I'd had sort of a moment like that in my normal life, and I was feeling really good going for the show, and obviously you just don't know when something like that's going to be triggered or hit you, and of all times, it's just really bad timing that it hit me in the middle of Survivor, which is something I've dreamt of doing and one hundred
percent would do again in the heartbeat, like it was the best adventure. And I don't see it as a Survivor making that happen and having that effect on me.
I think that would have happened regardless. That could have happened had I've been at home just doing my day to day job, I might have still had that moment, and that dip knows what could have happened, And I think there's so many what ifs, and I'm trying just my best to focus on making the decision that I made right instead of wondering whether it was the right decision.
I'm pretty sure that someone who pulled themselves out of Master Chef for a very similar reason went on to win the show, and I think there's something really powerful in that. For people because look, I mean it's not something i'd openly talk about that often, but for four years I had a mental health issue after my father had passed away, and it took a really long time for me to realize that. You know, during that time,
I felt like this was going to be forever. I thought I was always going to be depressed and I was never going to get out of it. And when I got out of it, I was able to look back and offer information to other people that you're not always going to feel like this. But because that happened to me at that time doesn't mean I should stop
putting myself forward in life. And I think, you really, that's something really important to discuss with people in these situations because, as you'd know, when you're at that confluence inside your own mind, you think, oh, I know, I can't say no to this because then people will treat me a certain way forever, and that isn't the case totally.
Like, yeah, I agree completely, And I think, you know, for people watching that moment last night, I feel so proud and so lucky that I got to have that moment on my favorite show. Like how I being able
to have that moment on Survivor Australia is insane. Like I've watched Survivor my whole life, and obviously in the US there's been so many seasons now they've had so many different moments that no one expected or could see coming, Whereas we're still kind of in our infancy over here, like it's only season nine and that someone had to be the first, right, this had to happen at some point, And it's a bit scary when it's you and you're a bit worried about how are people going to react
to this? Like I said before, people have been so overwhelmingly supportive, and it's triggered so many people in getting back into the art and getting creative and connecting with that side of themselves too. And if I can just do that for one person, like that's the job done. Like I wanted to be representation on Survivor. I thought I'd go on there and hopefully be a bit of queer representation and sort of not the typical type of queer representation you see on TV. And instead it.
Wor and you still did that two things could be true at the same time. I still think I think it was really I loved your story and when I heard about you doing this show, and because like, oh, I love this, so I've got there's a queer person on this show who's a creative, and you've got to be all of those things on this show. And it also reminded me of all my creative friends who how fragile they can be as well, because of the line
that they walk with their art. It can be you know, it can be hard, it can be very fragile.
Because it's the thing that it sort of it makes you fragile, right, But as a creative, it's also the thing that gives you such good inspiration. And sometimes when I'm in those darker periods, that just translates in my writing and in my work. And it's so hard because you don't want to numb that. You don't want to ever feel like you're just on a very sort of happy plateau. You want to feel those ups and downs.
And I love having those ups and downs. It's just when you combine those with a reality TV show, who knows what's going to happen, it's kind of that powder cake moment. And luckily, I think it translated well last night, and I'm so thankful that the tribal went the way it did, and that everyone was so there for me
and shared some of their experiences too. I mean, we only got to see a snippet, but honestly, so many people on that beach were going through their own journey and their own battle and to see other, like the typical strong guys out there having that moment of vulnerability too, that's huge. Like even me, that caught me off guard last night watching that on TV, I was like, oh wow, this is such a beautiful moment.
I mean, I want to ask you this question with a bit of sensitivity, but it is something that everyone was talking about after last night, and that is what do you think about the vetting process when it comes to someone like yourself, someone wanting to go on a show like this, but then also maybe having that sensitivity. Do you think that there needs to be more things in place? Because I want to lead by giving my
opinion of this. I believe that you should be able to do this show because you don't know what's going to happen. I think it's still a space and a place that is safe for people like us who might be a little bit emotionally sensitive and have mental health isho. I still think we have a place there.
But totally agree.
The conversation kept coming back to should there be a better vetting process?
You know, yeah, I don't think so. Honestly, the vetting process was amazing and the show psychologist, he's such a wonderful human being and so intelligent and knows what he's doing. And we went through all of this before the show. People are, you know, questioning how this wasn't caught, and I'm like, it's not something to be caught or to be found out. It's not some dirty secret, you know. I was upfront about all of this, as I think a few contestants going on the show were and have
been in the past. I think you'd be surprised probably at how many past contestants have had their own sort of issues going onto the show and been terrified of that translating on the show. And you've probably never even noticed it or seen it. And I think me being there, you know, you don't pro athletes go to the Olympics. They don't think about whether they're gonna fall or like
hurt themselves, like they're just going. But that can still happen, like anything can happen to anyone out there, and I don't see it as being any different me leaving the way I did last night to me potentially being blindsided the episode after, you know, like someone had to go last night, And it's not like I took anyone's spot or I intentionally messed up anyone's game. The moment on the beach where I was kind of giving away some of the game to Kitty, I was still playing at
that point. I didn't know I was going to be throwing myself out that night or removing myself from the game. I still felt a certain way about the game and felt like I need to stand up and say my piece, because up until that point, you know, i'd been hand in hand with Kirby and everything she thought I thought, and luckily I hadn't needed to sort of stand out or say anything. I was just very lucky that our games aligned perfectly. And then the first time that sort
of didn't align was last night. And as you saw, I'm not the sort of person that's scared to speak my mind when I don't sort of believe something's right or believe in something, and that was just the first time I needed to.
Well, I thought that your relationship with Kitty was really interesting because you really connected with her quite quickly. I wanted to ask you what really happened on the beach with that conversation with her. Was there a longer conversation or was there a way in which you both had found that friendship that was bonded so tightly.
Yeah, there was the whole night previous. I mean, you don't spend much time sleeping out there, to be honest. A lot of the time you're just kind of sat waiting for the sun to start showing its head and just kind of then you get excited because it's getting
light again. And the night before, obviously it was the first night sleeping back on the Rebel's beach, and it's very confronting when you go back to a beach and you don't really have a place and you don't have a bed and sounds so silly because it's a bed or it's a space to sleep, but out there that's a huge thing to you. That's pretty much all you've got that in your second outfit track trying to keep it dry. You kind of learned to like live for
those things. And Kiddy and Eden basically sat and me between them that night and said, this is where you're sleeping, You're warm, you're safe, And they were telling me stories all night, and they're both so funny. They both have such wicked senses of humor, and when they're playing off each other, I was giggling all night. And Kiddy's got this naughty sense of humor and some of her stories
are just incredible. And so I'd had this beautiful night feeling like such an out of the game moment and then suddenly being thrust back into the game and was obviously seeing a lot more going on as well, and seeing that maybe what Kirby felt was going on maybe wasn't what she thought was going on, in that Valeria wasn't as much just a number for her as she thought, and that she was playing her own game, as is everyone out there, and there's people you haven't really had
a conversation with at all, and you don't get much of a warm from And so when I was hearing that Kitty is the name being thrown, I was like, well, this makes no sense. She's someone who should be here and it deserves a crack at merge. She's such a strong female personality and character out there and I didn't want that to be the vote at Merge. That was if I was staying, and that was the way we were going forward. So that's where I felt like I had to say my piece.
Well, I guess you kind of record in the middle of something, because you'd had this ongoing relationship with Kirby the whole way through the show, and then all of a sudden, this powerful connection with Kitty and say Dan that we're now hearing about in our conversation today. You know, the pressure of being put between these two thoughts and then the moral compass being used as well. I guess that all kind of would have been overwhelming. I would have been triggering. I guess you know.
It was because obviously, as well as you're thinking about all of this, you've also got this other game going on in your own head, so like questioning whether you should even be in the game right now or whether it's But then you're also thinking, like, that's crazy talk, Scott, this is your dream and you're finally hearing you just made Merge, and my whole gameplay had been be quiet, get through, make sure the person going home is the person you want going home. You know, I was always
on the right side of the vote. Yeah, never had my name written down, and I was in such a perfect spot for merge. They really were really was literally I was blindsided by my own self, which is so typical.
I love that. I was talking to a friend of mine about this and they were like, you know, the voices that he has in his head, what you know? He that was sort of clouding his judgment. I was like, but we all have those voices in our head and he was like, yeah, we do. Sorry, we all have this constant we are blind signing ourselves every day. That's my biggest problem. I swear I can will things into happening. I'll be like, you know, I don't need this to happen.
I don't want this to happen. I don't want this to happen. And the next thing, you know what happens, And I think, you know, we've got to change the way in which we put things in place in our own minds. You know what I'm saying totally, Yeah.
You've got to sort of go easy on yourself sometimes too, right, And I think that's how I'm trying to just treat this whole post situation. Now. After the episode I'm just kind of living with it and accepting that it was the right decision for me at the time, and just hoping that that can connect with some other people and if it helps one person. It was like me watching Survivor as a kid and being a fan, like I wish I'd had that moment for me on TV. That would have meant a lot.
I just love the fact that we have diversity and we have different personality types turning up on shows like this because it reminds me when I was a child of the yearning to want to see myself on screen and to want to have role models, and when I grew up, there was no queer representation on television, so I felt so isolated. And then you've offered so much more of a conversation and a story beyond that, which I know will have connected with young people.
Definitely agree one percent.
If you didn't want to vote for Kitty, though, could you have just if you didn't want to vote for Kitty, could you just have voted differently and not had given away all that information to Kitty about Mark.
I think probably that didn't help that I was so emotional at the time. Okay, that definitely played into me having that reaction. I think you have seen on there too. I think it was a bit made part of the edit where there was this crazy storm happening and the tark was basically just flying off of the shelter and I was just clinging to this tarp for dear life. And that's when people I could just see all having strap chats and I was just like, help, can someone
just help me do the basic things? And I found that a lot of time you don't have long to scramble when you're back on that beach, and often you know someone's got to make the fire, someone's got to cook before you get to tribal council. If not, you're not eating that night. A lot of the time you see them people are just too busy doing all the strategy thing and you think like, oh god, I need
to jump in or I need to do something. And I think that whole moment was just caught me and Kitty was asking me things, and I was like, like, you need to wake up to what's going on around you. And so glad watching back last night that her and Caroline did know what was going on, and even just hearing from me that that was maybe what was going on that night. They didn't take long for them to be like, okay, they're going for revenge on Viola. The
super strategic. Caroline is such a smart player and such a lovely human too, and I think seeing her make that connection last night, I was like, yes, okay, this is great because you saw obviously when Kitty didn't necessarily take what re told her before on board, and so I was just at first I was like, no, they've not listened, but then you saw that they had, and I was like, okay, great, she's going to go into this game playing strong.
Now, you know, what are your thoughts on Kitty's behavior in that tribal council, because it seemed very different. It seemed out of the cannon for her. She kind of seemed very angry and very intense. Did your interpretation of Kitty change from watching her in that high precious situation and how she handled it?
Not really. I was kind of excited by that moment. I was okay, yeah, this is great. You find your voice and say your piece, and you know it's no different. We see Ferris doing the show every tribal and saying these big comments and putting out these big game moments
and Hilaria too, and people love them for that. So I find that sometimes a bit of a struggle when someone else does the same thing, someone who they've been maybe saying, has been quiet the whole time, and then they finally find their voice, and then they're just kind of slaughtered for it, and it's like, come on, you can't have it both ways. Just because we've not seen Kitty being vocal on TV, that doesn't mean she wasn't
there playing every single day and having a voice. It's just that we've not seen that in the TV show version of what happened you know?
Of course. Yeah, it's a very hard situation. I mean it's hard for the viewers, but it's also hard for you guys to understand what's being selected on what's being shown. I mean, they do a fantastic job of tapestry.
I don't know how they do it.
I don't know how they do it either. It's like, it's so funny, I was saying to a friend of mine the other day, A bad I love this show because it's literally three movies a week, better better than any movies. It feels interactive, it feels vic right, you know what I mean.
And I think, like I've spoken with some of the producers after the show and people who work this on the post side of things, and it's fascinating getting a glimpse into their brain because obviously for Survivor, they cast with these twenty four personalities, these kind of somewhat archetypes. But then you have no idea how people are going to play that game or react in there, so you can't script that. You have to really be good at creating a story out of nothing or at anything and
at the drop of a hat. So you're basically playing with these characters and finding a really cohesive story out of that. And I find that fascinating.
I think it's I'd love to just be on work experience right for me, but I could definitely.
I've already I've already put my name up for the department. I'm likeever you need anyone, I'm there.
I'll be behind the scenes. This year. There's a couple of loose ends that have happened, you know, in the situations like this where someone like yourself goes home and pulls themselves out of the game. What did you envision would happen with Valeria and Winner. You know, they had some existing powers. Do you think that those powers become null and void with you leaving? Do they get carried on?
What did you think was going to happen with those two storylines, Valeria and Winner both having a bit of a power at this point.
Yeah, I felt just so much going through your head in that moment. Part of me was feeling guilty that I'd taken away this moment for them. But then at the same time, I thought, well, they both survived tonight. That was the intention of those sort of you know, Valarious, it could advantage of special advantage that night, and Winner's necklace around his neck. He still survived that vote, And
someone would have still gone home that night. And who's to say that that tribal wouldn't have absolutely blown up if I'd have said, actually, no, I'm not taking myself home tonight, Let's let this thing go on. Who knows how crazy that tribal would have got. And you might have had winners out there thinking, thank god, I've got this necklace on.
He looked good at the necklace. By the way, I'm just going to say that.
Yeah, And I honestly, no one is ever sad to have that necklace around their neck. I don't think Winner would have had any ill sort of thoughts about how that night planned out.
I read somewhere online this morning about overseas contestants don't have to have their torches put out if they leave for mental health reasons. I think that's a really good question to ask you. I mean, might not have even been something that you thought about. Yeah, I think that's not really Yeah, do you think would that have meant something for you if they left your torch on unsnuffed because of the reason that you pulled yourself out.
I'm pretty happy to have had it, so I feel like, you know, that was the end of my game this time around. That's how I left the show, and it was kind of as a fan of the show to a pretty exciting moment to have that flame put out via jailp.
I just want to stand next to jail Pin. I just want to.
You're just kind of just stood in front of him, and you're like, this is so cool that this is happening. Also like please someone get me out and help me. But also this is really cool, and I'm still accepting that this is happening right now in front of me, and as a fan of the show, you can't help freak out a little bit.
How long did it take to put yourself back together? Were you able to come home and your partner was there? Did it? Sometimes? For me, I can have I can find myself in stressful situations, but then as soon as I'm home, everything comes back to me. Like it's so. I've lived in my apartment for twenty five years, so it very much is a safe space for me. And so like when I find myself in troubled situations, I can just be home and it all resets. But what was it like for you?
It was, Yeah, it was great to be home. And my home's a safe space like that for me too. So where I get creative, it's where I can make things. It's where I do a lot of my work and have my partner back again. Like me and my partner Elliott, we work together too as a creative team at Mona, So we are literally in each other's pockets every minute of every day, and that's how we live and that's
how we work and we love that. So to not have that person in your life for what I think I was in the game twenty seven days and then that's not to mention all the pre show stuff where you're out there for a little while too. You're away, like a month of your life is pretty hard to be away.
All the tools that we have.
Yeah, you'll know, the rule of thumb with reality TV is don't change anything really for like six months when you get out of a show, you know, try and stay in your job, stay with your partner, stay in your life. Because you've got this temptation to kind of just shallow it up and do something crazy, you know, get a tattoo, go traveling and change everything, and they obviously tell you that you can kind of sometimes be the worst thing to do. You need to just assimilate
and get back into your routing life. And then if you're still feeling a certain way three four months down the track, then you know, take.
Those then go and do that, but then and go to Europe. Yeah, yeah, exactly I've been asking for in the Game of Survivor and then getting them to getting all of the participants to answer that, all the castaways to answer that question in the Game of Survivor, what is something that you learned.
I learned to never be scared of standing up and saying what you're proud of or what's basically on your mind at the time. I think me standing up and making that moment on Survivor last night will hopefully be remembered and is something at the in the moment I was a bit worried about. And now I'm so proud of and so happy that's how my journey ended.
Well, I don't even know you I watching on the TV show. I feel so proud of you as a person, and I thank you. I think it be so amazing. I feel like there's something that they it's an episode of television that they could show young people in schools. Everyone who joins the podcast gets asked this question, what is something from behind the scenes, something we might not have seen.
There was a jacket I had out there and it had these great big pockets in it, And even somewhat unbeknownst to me, Raymond had been collecting trinkets throughout the show from all of the rewards, from any time there was a bit of rope wow something or a bit of a beat, a bit of street and saving them all in my pocket and then would just tell me, I've been stockpiling all of these little crafty things. So if you feel like making a fake idol, go through it. This is why I love you, Raymond.
I'm obsessed with him. There's something very charismatic about anyway. I'll have to have my own I want to be Raymond.
Just a shame you're not getting to see more because there was so much Raymond.
I feel like there's a spin off show because everyone loves Raymond, everyone loves Ramened. Mate. Have fun chatting to the media today and sharing your story. I can't wait to be in your audience. It made me want to go to Mona again. I've been there.
Probably please do.
Yeah, for sure, but enjoy this experience. It seems like you got a lot out of it. And yeah, I'm happy for you.
Thank you so much. Yeah, it's one of the best things I've ever done and it would do it again in the heartbeat, and everyone else should go and do it.
Okay, I've gone and fill out my application.
Ye do.
Please do nice chatting too.
Thank you so much much, be see you later.