It's in the news today, but it was actually on TV Reload the podcast past week that one. Hey guys, welcome back to TV Reload, Thank you for clicking and downloading. On today's episode with John Aiken, we will be talking about Married at First side, of course, and his role as a relationship expert. Married at First Sight, or as most of us call it, Maths has launched this new series with a new selection of singles or Willing to Marry a Complete Stranger? I mean, as if we weren't
going to all watch. We have seen four weddings so far, one memorial, a disastrous honeymoon, and at this stage all the glasses seem to be used for drinking. Not one person has thrown a drink. However, apparently for one bride the tequila wasn't good enough. There is so much to
unpack with John. What he thinks of the twenty twenty four married couples, why groomed Tim didn't interrupt that disastrous best man speech, what he thinks of Lucinda Light and her wingwoman crazy, if producers go too hard with grief stricken participants, and if those celebrants are real Prince I will ask John if in the history of being told to calm down, if anyone has actually ever calmed down, I'd like to know his take on that turn of
phrase in an argument. Anyway, let's bring John into the podcast. So sit back and relax as we dive just that little bit deeper into the world of Australian television. Do you know what was really funny? I was watching Maths and I was the person who was watching it with said John is so good on this show, but don't you think he looks like someone? And the person they said, you look like who's your double ganger? I don't know if you've ever heard this before, and I'm really worried
that it might upset you. But has anyone ever said you look like the penguin from the original Batman TV series?
I don't know if that's a good thing. Is that a good thing? Ellen? No?
Because no, no, no, because the penguin back then was not the big penguin like Danny DeVito. He was quite slim. He was, I mean, he did have a nasty.
I might have to google an image right now.
No, do you know what everyone has listening to this will be like, did you just say to John that he is the penguin, and they're gonna be like he went there. I know, but you know what, sometimes you want to hear these silly things.
I think I totally agree. And you know what, when we talk, you get down to the honest true we do.
I sped image.
I've gone images. I mean, oh my god.
Look at it. At the end of the podcast, we'll circle back to it. Welcome back to the podcast again.
Though it is great to be here, Ben.
I love the last time we spoke, and this time's even better because I get to see you in person, well on screen at least, of course.
Of course. You know what was interesting was the other day when we were watching we watched a preview of the first episode for People who isn't It? And I told you that you ranked in the top three of the podcast. So I've got those names for you. Claudia Carvon was number one, as she's big, you know what I mean, like, can't beat Claudia Cuhen and you were number two, which is great, and number three was George from Survivor. So I don't know how that lands for you.
Okay, okay, well, I mean I'll take it.
I think we can all say that Claudia's a runaway, you know.
Number one.
I turned for Claudia. She's got the wrong climbing for me. But you know, come on, she's not eight.
You know she's still amazing.
I actually sat next to her at the movies. Anyway, that's a boring story. I'm not going to tell that story. I'll tell that for another time. But we're back. What was your reaction to watching the episode last night? I know you'd already seen it, but as Australia was watching it, I imagine you were watching it along with them. What was a reaction.
Yes, well, I'll paint the scene. I'm sitting there with my wife. We are drinking wine and we're basically sort of watching it unfold. She doesn't know what's coming, but she is loving every minute of it. And I'm kind of looking at Twitter, sort of getting a sense of what's coming through and what the public are saying.
And you know, I wasn't sure, to be honest, Ben, initially.
Because it's a very relatable class cast, but they're quite different from last year, and so I was really keen to see what the audience was saying and who they were responding to. But it really pleased me that they were kind of getting invested. Particularly I noticed on Cassandra's story, you know, she had that last early on and now she was diving back into love. And Tristan is such a kind, warm and at times very awkward guy.
So it was good feedback for me.
Yeah. Well, I mean, I guess when it comes to doing a new series, John, do you do a factory reset on what you've seen the year before? Because we do see different characters every year. We're not seeing the same thing because if we saw that, Mass wouldn't be number one, you know with the ratings, and so I wonder how you do that, Like do you just go, I'm going to forget all of the personalities I saw this year and just come in with a fresh take, Like how do you evolve with these new personalities?
Well, that's kind of exactly what I do. I do.
I put aside the previous seasons and I just say I'm going to watch now and be surprised. I think when the when the show first started and became really popular, I was worried initially that, you know, how do we keep evolving, how do we keep the interest going? Because it's a relationship show, it's talking heads on a couch. You know, what in the world is going to keep people coming back? But then I realized by about series five, oh.
It's the cast.
And the cast always change because they always have different backstories, different problem patterns, they have different family and friends. I mean, we saw last night the best Man's speech from Hell. You know, it constantly keeps evolving, and all I've got to do is sit and watch it, and it surprises.
Me every year.
Yeah, it does. I mean, we'll talk about that speech in a second. But I kind of feel like, you know, the show penetrates the audience in a way that no other show has ever connected, especially a dating show. I mean, what is it about maths that resonates with a straight.
On Well, I'll tell you what.
I'll tell you my answer, but then I want to hear yours, because you have lived and bathe the reality world, and I'd be curious to know your take on it. From my point of view, I think there's a number of ingredients that make it successful. One is, obviously this idea of the fairy tale. Can two strangers fall in love? That's at the core, and that's compelling to watch, you know, when they turn around, the eyes lock. Do they like
each other? I think in a strange way. Now people watch it to learn things about relationships, particularly learn what not to do, which is a very valuable way of learning. It's just a bit different. And then I think you've got the experts who we get in this combative, sort of accountable role with the participants and they come back at as hard, and I think that's very interesting for people to watch, and you don't often see that on reality TV. There's John and you know the guy sitting
across from him, he's coming at me hard. Harrison said, I was full of it last year, and that is unusual to watch that and really quite interesting and certainly exciting for me to be on the receiving end of it. And I also think, strangely enough, i'd say this Ben people have said to me that it reminds them of high school.
So when they watch it, they've taken back.
In time to when they're thirteen, fourteen, fifteen, and they've got these little clicks, and they've also had their heart broking it broken at sixteen, and they watch someone getting dumped or they've been cheated on, or they've gone out with a guy who promised the world and absolutely left them heartbroken. All of that just reminds them of when they were young, and they are invested in it, and I think that would be the way I'd answer it.
A whole lot of ingredients, but there are four ones there that I think are compelling.
Yeah. I think the thing for me is I believe that all of us want to see ourselves reflected back to us when we watch television. We want to watch ourselves in some weird way and resonate with them and connect with that and think about ourselves and think, you know, what would I do if I'm in that situation. And we're as humans, we all believe that we're entitled to love. We all want to find love, and this show will be resonating with audio answers and rating really high as
long as we see a true reflection of society. And I think that Maths isn't a show about a whole bunch of people with washboard abs. Sure, a couple of them have got it. You know, some people might be there for the boobs and the big lips and all the right kind of stuff. But what the casting does really well with this show is it actually represents a large part of Australia, very real Australians, even if they are Liscinda.
Light, that's exactly right.
And I do think like some people have obviously stopped me over the years and said, these people aren't real. Surely not, it must be scripted. But you are right. They are real people. You may not bump into them all the time, but they are out there. They are doing these things, making these poor choices China fall in love and doing it terribly, and that's really intriguing when
you watch that. And I think the other thing that's really fascinating, and it still fascinates me, is that when you hold a mirror up to them and say here's what's going on now, you need to do better, often.
They just say, well, I'm sorry, John, but you're wrong.
And the audience is watching going, oh no, no, no, no, you do need to change.
But they are fixed.
They have blinkers on and there's no insight, and that is really challenging and very interesting to watch when you get into that situation.
It's juicy. Liscinda Light, though, is actually one of the most bonkers participants Mass has ever seen. But I actually really love her and I feel like Mass does this thing very well, which is at baits and switches how we are going to interpret people. And so when you see Liscinda to start with, you will think that woman's bonkers. But I actually believe that Australia is going to fall in love with her. I actually think that she's quite brilliant.
Yeah, I agree, and I take your point. I think when you're putting together a selection of different individuals, you want complexity, you want layers and texture, and I think we've got that this year, particularly with the diversity of the cast. It's very fascinating when you see, let's say, a personal trainer who's ripped, who looks like he's a player, and you make that first impression and then you watch this person then show different sides to themselves as the
experiment plays out. That is something that is a secret source to the show, that you have all these different personalities showing different sides. And sometimes it's right off the bat, but sometimes it's halfway through when you least expect it. This big personality comes out of this big rivalry occurs, or suddenly they don't commit when you really thought there are hands on, rock solid commitment type.
It's interesting when you were talking about looking on Twitter last night, X is what they call it now, looking on Yeah? Yeah, the people looking at I was doing the same thing. And there was quite a few people talking about does this show play family tragedy too hard? And there are a lot of setups. We saw that with Cassandra and hers backstory was heartbreaking. What are your thoughts on getting contestants participants I should say, to be a part of this show when they've had such tragedy
in their life? Are they broken people? Are they should they not be put on a show like this?
I don't think that they're broken.
I think there's certainly people that have I guess experiences are past that have you know, essentially shaped them. But to your point earlier, I mean it makes these people real and it allows the audience to invest more in them. And I think of reality shows outside of this, you know, where you might be meeting someone who's about to audition for a singing contest and you see what they've.
Been through and the family and the.
Lost and all that sort of stuff, and there's that sense of well, I'm going to ride this with them, And so I think it's a reality television sort of format point where you are really trying to get the audience to know who it is that's in front of you, and it gives you an understanding, a deeper understand and a faster way of getting to know them. But I would also say that you know they are very well assessed.
And they're aut a task.
They know what they know.
I mean, we're now season eleven, so they've watched it all, They've gone through pyite tests, they are trained with social media, and we prepare.
Them as best we can that they are going to be able to cope with it.
But it is very, very intense when that spotlights on them.
Well.
I thought with Timothy, it was really lovely about him, who's matched with Lycinda, was that he as well, was
not who you kind of expected him to be. And when he revealed that his whole family was not there at the wedding because they were dead, what I thought was really quite compelling about that was Lucinda's ability to take that in her stride and to be able to process that in a really human way, in a really empathetic way, And it makes me think of who I am in the real world when someone says something like that, which is quite heavy and how to better myself in
being able to communicate because she did that so well.
Yeah, that is a really good point about her.
I think she's the most emotionally evolved person certainly we've had in this series, but also throughout all the eleventh seasons. When you watch her in different situations of high conflict or betrayal or heartbreak, her ability to immediately go in and say the right thing at the right time, to.
Hold the space as she says, you know and look frequently.
There were times when I was telling off participants in the commitment ceremony and then over my shoulder Lucinda would say, John, can I just jump in here? Can I just you know, have a different way of looking at this? And you kind of realize this is part of her DNA And when people would say, oh, Lucinda, is she real?
She never broke.
Character, changed character was anybody other than what you see on the screen. You know, she has that real ability to swim in intense emotions that are around her and feel really comfortable with it.
It was great to watch. I mean her Wingwoman was a little bit creepy. I mean, what do you say when you hear someone's best friend come up and say they've got a dead crow and their freezer at home, like John.
I know, I know.
I mean, I remember when I first met with Cinder and she brought out the scroll with all those lists of things that she wanted from a guy, and then said, look, I'm a creatrix.
And I just thought that she's wonderful.
I've got no idea what she's talking about, but you know, I think probably the people around her are very similar, and so like you say, you know, her friends, her family, people, she hangs around with a very like minded in that way.
I mean. The other thing I was going to ask you about before we go is, you know, when we left Tim and Sarah, we saw them navigating a few frustrations, you know, and then that has sort of continued on last night. Do you think in the history of telling someone to calm down, that anyone has actually ever calmed down?
It is, once again a great example of what not to do and when you're in a relationship, and you know, I think back to so many key moments in Marred at First Sight over eleven seasons, where you know.
People just seem to pick the worst possible time.
To speak up. And to drop a clanger. You know in this situation. You know, you're on a honeymoon, it's a beautiful date, You're on the beach.
How can we ruin the Liz?
And then he says, come down, And that was after he said to her at the wedding, Oh, you know, I'm six months out of a relationship of six years where I thought I'd proposed to her.
She's got a dorseer now of things that she's got to be worried about with this man. I mean, from your perspective, though, can they get past these sort of teething issues, because for me, being fascinated by people, I actually think when people meet and they are designing their relationship, they're drawing battle lines. Do you think that these two are quite suited and are just trying to draw their battle lines early?
I think they are very well suited on a number of different levels. But I think their challenge is the same as pretty much everyone that we've seen on the show, and that is can they stop look at their relationship.
Patterns and say, well, I need to change this up. I need to actually do it differently.
Now, you and I both know that probably over the years, most of them will go no, I'm either perfect or I'm right, you're wrong, and so they just essentially sabotage the relationship that we put them in and they blow up. So for Sarah and Tim and everybody else this year, the same goes. They are going to have to stop and look at themselves and say, our fights start. What we're like when someone's understress, what happens We're at a dinner party and someone throws out accusations? How do we
handle this? And then when the experts give us feedback, are we going to listen? And the ones that do well are either Camon Jules, or the Michael and Martha's or you know, the Johnny and Carys, they'll stop and go, yeah, actually, we're going to do this different, and that's they're.
Going to evolve with a big experiment, and a.
Lot of them can't do that, won't do that.
Bryce and Melissa didn't do it, by the way, but they're still together. They didn't. I mean, that's still a success story.
John, you know, and you know, I think with those two what they did do is they said, regardless of what gets thrown at us, thrown at us. Because the group really was very anti there and gave them a lot of well Bryce and gave him a lot of feedback.
They stayed true to themselves.
They never broke rank and to right to the end they said no, no, no, you've got.
Us wrong, and we're going to make this And everyone's like, really are they? And they did and they they true formed and.
They're going to die trying. They're going to die proving us all wrong. The only question that I thought you might be able to give a bit of perspective on that happened in that first episode was the speech that was quite a horrent from Tim's best man. Why did Tim not stop him halfway through that speech? That's a very long speech with a lot of touch points that were quite rated and probably painting him in a bad life. Why didn't he just say, you know, mate, shut up?
Well and I go him one step further, because you know, I don't know they're family and friends, any of the couples.
We don't know what they're going to be like.
You know, my first thought when I watched it was to why are you hanging around with that guy?
Does that mean about you? Tim?
Exactly?
If that's your choice for a best man who's going to make your best speech?
Yeah, do you like kind of thinking? Who are you? Tim?
Which I'm sure is what Sarah started to think like and her bridesmaids. But to your point, why didn't he step in? I think one of Tim's biggest challenges is that he struggles with asserting himself. He's a guy that likes to please and likes to keep the peace, and he will be challenged all the time throughout the experiment on this, and I think in that situation it required a person to just literally put in place a boundary and say enough, stop, sit down, your way out of line.
But it goes to this whole theme throughout the experiment this year, which is boundary.
Crossing what's appropriate and what's inappropriate.
The group had their thoughts on it, the bridesmaids, the friends had their thoughts on it last night. So it's there right from the word go, and it consistently is a theme that comes up.
Yeah, I like boundaries. Boundaries is something that upsets people. If you tell people to be accountable, they get upset. No one wants to be made accountable, you know, No.
Why is that? Ben? Do you have a take on that?
I do, because you know, John, If you say to someone, I'm going to make you accountable of something, it's the new fuck you because people hate It's like the nastiest thing you could say to someone in twenty twenty four, and it rubs people the wrong way, in the exact same way that someone says, respect my boundaries. Those two phrases are polarizing to people because you're asking them to
do something that they feel really uncomfortable about. And most of the time, if you're saying to someone, I'm making you accountable, can you respect respect my boundaries, it's because that person hasn't noticed that they've been doing anything wrong, and no one likes to be told hang on a sec you're doing that wrong, especially by someone that they possibly are in love with or they care for.
Yeah. No, that's that's very well put.
I think the other thing that's closely related to that is when, and it came started coming out about two years ago, when you would challenge someone and they would say, hey, John, I'm just speaking my truth. I would hear someone be offensive and disrespectful and abhorrent in what they're saying and doing, and then they have them they go, come on, don't silence me.
John, I'm just.
Wond when someone says that to me, there's the biggest cop out. It's again out of jail free card that lands like a fuck you, John. I wish that I could talk to and I'm hopefully throughout the season I'll get a chance to talk to you again because we need to talk about replacement LGBTI brides, which well i'll rephrase that replacement runaway brides that we will see this season. I also, I don't know if you can quickly answer this,
do you know if the marriage selements are real? Are they actors that people keep asking me this question today?
They are all real, all.
Real people that wanted to go on and do they apply? Do you know how they get onto the show?
That's a good question.
I don't know exactly how they come to be on the show, but they are real marriage celebrants.
There was also a good question to ask you was I was really happy with the acknowledgment of doctor Trisha Stafford, who was your mate, and I thought that was really well handled. Because this was a show about love and marriages, it would have been really hard. I mean, it's not for weddings and a funeral, but you know, we were able to acknowledge her in a really tasteful way. How did that make you feel watching that last part of the episode.
Well, you know what, I appreciate you bringing that up, Ben, because I was watching it with my wife and it came up and it just sort of it stopped me in my tracks because Tricia and I had been as on this show since twenty fourteen, the first seven seasons, and you know, when you start anything that's new and fresh, you don't know how to do it, and so you lean on people to.
Kind of get you through it.
And she was that person for me, and so I didn't know how they would recognize her, and I just it just stopped me. It made me think a lot about her last you know, after I saw that, and I just it's kind of strange that she's not here anymore. This is the major juggernaut of a show which she had a big part of early on.
I also thought of you, John, because I thought to myself, channel Line, doing something like that really acknowledges your position as well, and it really acknowledges all of the relationship experts and having them be able to acknowledge her in a way like that. I think would make you feel like, you know, they understand that this is a big job.
You know, it's a big job, and it gets bigger every year. And I think the experts, well, we are a part of the big machine.
It's the cast that makes the show.
I still think, you know, it was the right thing to do to pay tribute to Tricia and also just remember that.
You know, she was one of the ogs, you.
Know ogs, and she did a good job, and people still care, you know.
I think that's really people still care and I love that. Yeah.
The last question I ask everyone who joins the pod, what is something from behind the scenes, something we didn't see that we won't see? Kind of your behind the scenes secret for being a part of Maths that we're about to see for twenty twenty four.
Well, every time I go on, I come in, I get here in my makeup done, and then the fight for me is whether I'm going to stay away from the carps that are sitting there in the cafeteria all night. I mean, it is delicious, Ben, but if you can imagine that I'm going to be sitting in a commitment ceremony for ten hours, I can't tuck into the tacos, the nachos.
The potatoes. It's just it's a feast every single time we're there.
So behind the scenes, I am torn between eating and make good choices, healthy choices, versus just throwing it out the window and having a car fist. Sometimes I can be strong, other times unfortunately it gets me.
It's very relatable, John, It's very relatable. We'd all be like that. And I think you look great on the show. And it was definitely not me who said you look like the penguin from the original Batman.
You know what, you know what, You've got to be able to laugh at yourself, don't you.
You got it?
Yeah, I mean I've been.
Called many things plenty, plenty bad over the years that I've been on it, but no one's called me the penguin.
So I'm going to take it. It's unique and I'll run with it.
Enjoy chatting to the media. I just you know what I always say to people who ask me about interviewing you, John, is how generous you are, how kind and how generous and how thoughtful you are of your answers. If everyone could join the podcast and be as kind and as thoughtful and as generous as you, I think my podcast would be an even bigger success.
Well, I appreciate that. Ben. I do think you're very.
Easy to sit and talk to because you have a very acute understanding of the world that I live in, being the reality world, having come from that, and you know how to interview.
And I think also the.
Questions you will and you will have had this on both sides when people are interviewing you. Some people take a lot of time to think about what they want to ask you, and then others it's really top line and superficial.
So you always go deep and I love that. I don't prepare because I don't.
Know what you're going to ask, but it just means that what we get is really, in your words, juicy.
Yeah, I wanted to be juicy, but I want it to be real and authentic. I have already gone over my time with you today. Hopefully John will circle back and if not this season, for next year and for the next many years that you keep doing the show.
Love it, love it. And what about this background day.
It's brilliant.
I mean, we've just transported you onto set definite.
Are you telling me it's not real? It's real?
Well?
You know it's TV. Okay, we'll just leave it at that.
I love it the best day guys cheer. Thank you so much. H