It's in the news today, but it was actually on TV Reload the podcast last week. They might welcome back to TV Reload. My name's Benjamin Norris and on this podcast I go behind the scenes with the biggest players in television. Each episode you will get a front row seat with content makers like executive producers, writers, editors and casting agents, plus the talent that we see on our screens.
TV Reload reloads the shows that you are currently watching and gives you a better insight at our television industry and streaming services today. On the podcast, I have my good friend Isabel Silbury. You would most likely know her as the daughter and the Silbury family on goggle Box Australia, as she has watched nearly seven years worth of television with her mum and grandmother Kerrie and m Isabel is one of my most adventurous friends. She jumps into everything
with her full attention. She is smart, funny and raw, something that I really value in a friendship. Sharing Isabelle with Australia has been a beautiful experience as I think we need more unfiltered people who are being authentic on television. The faces Isabelle pulls on goggle Box Australia have become that of its own celebrity, with a gift to convey every emotion a human could possibly have. There is nothing more surreal than a stranger finishing a tweet directed to
me with a classic Isabelle reaction. Today we're here to talk about goggle Box Australia, of course, seen on Channel ten, Foxtel and Binge, but we're also here to talk about her new book, Out of the Box, which is available to order now. The book is a memoir shared between three generations of women as they share the truth behind
their very extraordinary lives. It is genius in my mind, and I highly recommend that you jump online right now and order a copy, otherwise you will once you've heard this chat, as we only lightly scratch the surface of the joy in reading her book. I could go on and on to intro this chat, but right now let's get started with Isabelle Silbury from goggle Box Australia, who I welcome to TV reload for the first time.
I never wanted to be in front of the camera.
They are the multi generational family. Who is she in the couch on goggle Box.
Australia never in a million years thought I'd get a phone call like the next day, what did you want to tell me?
I was going to join you something better forgotten.
This is not a show about people watching TV. This is a show about humans. Phil Breaths have quickly become fan favorites. I will be talking about the marriage and why it failed. From my perspective, Google boxes are back. I have no control over my emotions and they're running. They're running the show.
Hi, Isabelle, how are you?
I'm good? Thank you, Ben.
Do you prefer Isabelle? Because in recent years I've heard a few nicknames along the way, and I wondered, had I accidentally been really formal all this time by mistake? All right, do you have nicknames?
I do, but I always felt like you called me isabel because I was in trouble all of the time, because I'm only called Isabel by my parents when I'm in trouble. Really yeah, otherwise it's easy or is or Isa what the girls call.
Me to I've never called you anything but Isabelle. And then I also correct people as well, because people will call you bell and I'm like, no, no, no, you can't know. You can't tie them like Belle.
I don't know why, I just yeah, it means beautiful and Italian, and that's not what I am.
Do all of our other friends call you something different. Yeah, Iza just makes me seem really daggy that I've been calling you something so formal.
I mean, how long have you known me for years?
It's nearly twenty years. I actually thought it was longer, and if people ask me, I always say, we've known each other for twenty years, but it's only just coming up to twenty years now. So this is our twenty year anniversary. Isabelle Isabelle. But you know, it's also a good way to start this is to explain how long we've known each other. I used to get you to make My Big Brother auditions because I was so desperate to get on that show. I don't know how many you made, but.
We had fun making those videos. That was fun, and I thought, this guy's never going to get on. This is a waste of my time. But I also like, I thought you were great and hilarious. But I'm like, yeah, you've got to get past the audition process, and you finally did, and not just fun lot just past the audition process, but won it.
Which is a fun story for me to talk about. Is you and whether or not you wanted to be on television. I don't think I've ever asked you this, but growing up, was that something that you had aspired to?
No? Never, I was more behind the scenes. So yeah, I did media and production it my tea and then I was a producer for a long time, like doing ads and TV shows, and I loved producing talent. I just loved like making the content and making it really interesting. I never wanted to be in front of the camera, so it was kind of weird that.
Now it's so weird. It seems strange to me because you were working at Silverspoon Productions for so long. You know, in my email address it always comes up first, my old one, your old email address. But I wanted to know. Being there for so long and sort of working behind the scenes, did that make you more knowledgeable or better as the talent.
Yeah, definitely, because you can see what works and what doesn't, and you get a sense of what the audience is
looking for. And I guess when I applied for goggle Box and pitched the three of us women, it was just a no brainer to me that there weren't three real women of those ages and demographics on mainstream media, and I just was like, that's a whole and we need we can totally feel that, and yeah, so I looked at it from a producer's point of view as well and just thought, yeah, what would and what does Australia need right now? We need those voices being heard. Yeah.
People often say that you can't cross over, like if you've worked behind the scenes, then you can't go in front of the camera. But and that's because it looks like you're you're self producing. But you've never looked like you were self producing on Google Box. It always just seems like, well, you and I going out for coffee or going out for drink, like you can't see that those clocks ticking.
And a lot of the time those clocks aren't ticking. And I think it's because I am at home and I'm on the couch and I'm usually just in my pajama bottoms and trackies or whatever, and I'm just with Mum and m so it doesn't feel like I've got my producer hat on at all. Having said that, sometimes you know, I do have to kind of bring em along when she's not understanding what we're watching, but you know, they show all of that because I'm like, you do
you know what's going on? She's like nop, And I'm like, okay, this guy's marrying this guy. This is maths. Oh maths. No, no, maths. So I like, all right, this is this is hard work. But yeah, no, I think you just I'm just super comfortable in the environment.
So that, yeah, I guess that's not being a producer. That's being a granddaughter. Right, yeah, exactly.
Can you hear me? Have you got your hearing aids turned up?
God, Helen? Have you been doing goggle Box.
For fifteen season? So I think that's seven years.
It's actually it's madness to me. And you know, often when people see us tagged and things on Instagram, people will be like, oh, I can see why are your friends because you guys are so expressive. And then I was thinking about it. Every single one of our friends. We are so expressive with our faces, Like you can think about Evie Jones or even some of our friends that people wouldn't know, like Zoe Yeah, yeah, but all
of us. You know, you could turn off the sound and you could still know what we were talking about.
It's true, and I just I remember like when we'd introduce newbies to our group, or like when we're having like drinks on Chapel Straight or whatever, and we'd either bring like a new personal dating or a new friend that we'd made outside of the group, and I just watched their face as the whole entire night, thinking they cannot get a word in these poor people, and they're like,
who are who are these people? You brought me into full of stories and animated conversation, and that's what I think has drawn all of us together, like we.
Yeah, where the we should be called the Oversharers?
Oh yes, I like, and you'd see those people's faces just go what did they just say? That hearing?
Can you go to the bathroom take a nude photo of me? Sure it's a first trap or whatever. We were doing first traps before we even knew that. They were thinking how did it come about? I mean, obviously I know certain things, so we sort of have to pretend I'm more draft than usual. Yeah, but like, how does this opportunity to be on goggle Box come about?
Well, there'd been two seasons already, and I remember seeing the ads on Telly and just thinking, what is this new show? This looks so bad, And I think the rest of Australia was thinking the same thing. You know, what have we succumbed to now? Like making a show of people watching TV and listening to their opinions. It sounds very superficial and horrendous. Yeah, it's the brand new TV show about people watching TV. Gogle, goggle bops, goggle box.
What's the actual point of the show? Me watching someone else watching television? Sounds a bit weird and it's something I definitely well and will never like.
They all say that at first, see what the critics are raving about the brand new TV show about people watching TV.
I watched the first two seasons, like not religiously, but you know, I fell in love with Angie and ev as the girls representing the women I fell in lovely and Keith. I just thought, this is not a show about people watching TV. This is a show about humans and the way they interact and their voices and opinions on real, big social issues that are happening not just
in Australia but in the world. And this is a really cool way of showing that and really hearing what people all the thinking and talking about at home with their people. And I was like, oh, that's awesome. And then mom came home from work. She worked at Monash Medical Center on the adolescent psychiatric wood and one of the nurses there was like, oh, this new show goggle Box is awesome, Like you'd be great on it, Kerry, You're so expressive and you've got it a lot of opinions.
And she came home she was like, have you heard of this show? And I was like, yeah, yeah, it's good. And I just had a baby, and you know, I was kind of like I want to do something, but I really can't. Can't go back to working full time. It's just too stressful. I had a think he was twelve months old or yeah, very he was still a baby, and yeah. I just looked at the application form online and was like four questions, easy, peasy, bang did the submission.
I was like three generations of women having a chat on the couch. There we go, submitted it. Never in a million years thought i'd get a phone call like the next day going can you guys get together tomorrow so we can meet you? And I was like oh, and they're like, yeah, we start filming next week, so they left their casting like to the very last minute. I think we're up against another family who didn't get in, so they really had to make the decision real quick.
I think the good thing for you, though, and what people might not realize, is that you have the trifecta, as in, you're well written, you speak well, and you look good for camera. I mean, that's that's debatable.
Some days, some nights I do not look good for camera. I mean, have you seen those close subs, Benjamin.
I've seen us in all kinds of states throughout the twenty years of friendship, and I think you've always looked like you know, I think you're This is going to sound strange, but I think you've always come across like a character in lots of ways. I mean, it's just genuinely who you are. But I think if anyone was going to read something, and we'll get into your writing later, but you know, you're very well written. So I mean
for an application process, that's just one step. But you know, then you've got to be able to speak on camera, and then you kind of have to look the part as well, and you represent something in the zeitgeist now of you know, the everyday Australian daughter, you know, and so you kind of have to fit that mold and you have and you do that really well.
But what's interesting, I think as the seasons have continued, never ending, is that you kind of go on the journey with the show and with the we'll call them characters or cast members as they develop, you know. And I've I was married when I was first on there, I went through a divorce, you know, lost animals, got remarried, got remarried, black, like lots of different life events that
everyone kind of goes through. And so if you've watched it over the years, yeah, yeah, you're on that journey with like the single Isabelle like perving on all the boys and then oh no she's getting married. Oh no, she's been a bit more sensible. Ah, you know she looks a bit down at the moment. That's because I had, yeah, mental health issues going on. And yeah, yeah, you just it's a what's an all sort of show, like yeah.
It's unfiltered, Yeah, totally. I think if you were to be somebody who who was trying to project something, it wouldn't work. But then also we know, like producers edit that kind of stuff out. Good question to ask you is how did all of your friends and sort of family I always think of saying family friends because my entire friendship with you, you're always like, sorry, I can't come to that. I've got a family friend's engagement. You
have so many fucking family friends. Then how did all of they respond to the sudden fame for you?
Like a lot of them might say, I'd say eighty percent of my people were really supportive, but just a bit shocked that. I don't know that people would find what I have to say interesting. I think, to your own people, you're not that interesting. You're just you, And so they go, oh, why are you now on this show? And why do people want to watch that, which is
a little bit I don't know, it's questionable. But at the same time they were like, no, that's awesome, Like if people love you as much as we do, then great. But I think it has they've adjusted over the years of you know what, you know very well what it's like, You've just one big brother. You come out, everyone wants a piece of you, they want a photo with you, they want to talk to you, and you know, we I do get.
Approached all the time.
All the time, well, you know, sometimes not.
But if we're at a bug it easily.
I think people more smile and walk past and just give me a bit of a nod. They don't know telling.
About the ones that come up and talk to you. Everyone's already watching. Everyone's already and you kind of forget
that everyone's doing that. And I think the reason why I asked you that question is I think we've both been in those situations where you're having a really in depth personal conversation and we click in when we're talking to our friends, we're like wholeheartedly in the conversation, and so it was really disruptive for some of our friends to have that conversation broken, to have something so strange as someone coming over and saying I love you from
goggle Box. And then you're like, like, I remember once being on Chapel Street and I was with someone who was crying because they were talking about something extremely serious and I'm not appropriate. I feel like you're like, look, thank you, but can you please Yeah.
Well, especially when you're not in a good state either, like I've been in arguments with my husband or arguments with my mum and then people want to come and be like I love your family. I'm like, well right now I'm about to fucking kill us, So do you really love us?
What's been the highlight from this whole goggle Box experience thus far? Now we're going to talk about the book coming up, so we're going to talk about your mom and em but like, what's been your favorite moment? There must be something that you've watched on screen and been like, wow, that's you know, that's really cutting through or I'm really proud of myself, which we're told we're not supposed to be.
By the way, well, stuff that I don't believe in tall poppy syndrome. I think Australia needs to get over it. I really loved watching a few of the episodes where and I just I think credit to the way goggle Box is put together, the way it's edited and the producing behind you know, how it's how it's made is really clever and maybe not many people realize what's happening when they're watching it, but the journey that you go on, like laughing and crying and sort of making fun of
something like maths. But then we'll go into something like a documentary about refugees or something in Australia and get a really interesting insight that we might not otherwise have had. And I get super proud of myself and my family when we just we just say something that makes people
think a bit differently, like it might be. I remember there was a pod we call them pods, the little sections where we're watching a dot go on refugees and how we've been treating them and the politicians, you know, reactions and what they were doing about it. And my grandma was just like, oh my god, this is like a concentration camp. This is as bad as like is this really what we're doing in Australia And just questioned like is this okay with everyone? Like what's going on?
And it finished just on her quote, and I thought, wow, like, because.
You know, people are going to turn off, turn away, and whoever they're sitting next to, they're going to continue that conversation which they may not have. And then also the people still watching a lot of freedoware television. They are middle class Australians who may not be watching all the news jams, do you know what I mean?
Or if a certain type of media which is feeding one type of message. But also, you know, I'm really passionate about the relationship between Emmy and I and Mum, and you know, there was a section We've watched old People's Homes for five year olds a few times, and you know, just a reminder to people out there that, you know, don't forget our old people, you know, especially during COVID and lockdowns and people getting older, people getting
really bad depression. You know, it's up to our generation and the younger ones to sort of check in, make that phone call, go and visit them in their home, go and see, you know, bring them some flowers and go and have like and interact and have a great conversation because these people are not dead. They're our family, and we should, you know, really respect them a lot more than I reckon as a whole community, we really
do undervalue the older people. Meeting the children is a very important thing to meet because I don't see enough of my own. You know, we light up when you see my son.
Yeah, baking biscuits and put it on the tray, everybody. I love watching him do that.
Yeah. I remember there was we're watching that and I just took Emmy's hand. I was like, you know, I love you so much and she's like, thanks for just being here for me.
How weird though, that so many of us will shuffle off the elderly, most vulnerable into a home and Emmy's what ninety three and onty four and like, you know, she's still living with your mum and she's still so vibrant. And that has a lot to do with you.
It's a lot to do with the social interaction, and that's been proven scientifically. We need connection and we need to be speaking to people looking at faces. That is the key to you know, to happiness really and living longer and more healthy.
You know, that show makes me cry every time. What has really impressed me, and this does not happen for everyone that is on television, is being able to draw a line of communication from who they are on a show to social media. And I don't know how you've been able to do that, but you've really been able to create this very specific voice which absolutely is who you are, and it's you in a conversation with friends,
you being having a first for knowledge. It's you being so blatantly raw that sometimes people might turn away and go too that's too much information. But what drives you to be able to share your story with that following, like what drives you for that?
I think at the start it was really taking the platform I've been given seriously, and really it took a while, talk about a year to sort of realize that this comes with a responsibility and I really don't want to waste it. I remember in the.
Movie with Give Me An actor.
Lady Gaga, the singing one oh Born, Sarah's Bourne staris Bourne, Thank you Ben. They're on the balcony in you know, she's found this new fame and he says to her, You've got a voice. People are listening. Use it. And it's the same I tell myself that all the time. It's like people whether it's on Instagram or on the TV, or whether they're reading something I'm writing, they're listening that. Or are you going to use that to sell makeup?
Are you going to use that to talk about something that's really meaningful that may improve the world in some tiny way? And I want to do the latter.
You know, it's really funny though, I'm going to throw myself under the bus and not ask you to agree.
But some people overshare, like Abbi Chatfield, drives me insane, like and I loved Abi Chatfield to start with, but then over a period of time she felt controlled by her own narrative of wanting to be in that space where for you you absolutely dip in and out of a varied amount of topics, you know, a varied amount of sharing, and then also a controlled amount of sharing as well, because you mean, you've got a little boy, and you've got certain things that are completely off limits.
So I think it's a very hard tight rope to walk, yeah, to engage with people, and then to be in control of it.
Yep, I think it's a tight one, but I think it's a necessary one for your own mental health and just I think you just got a hoe. This is what I do. Anyway, I hone in on what's the goal with this? You know, visibility without any sort of goal is vanity. Really, if you're putting yourself out there and you don't really know why, you're just there. You want to show your body, you want to talk about an issue, and you're not really you're not really knowledge
in understanding what's the purpose in this? If you've got no purpose, it's literally just for vanity. I mean, there's no other reason.
But that's ninety nine point nine in my mind getting the statistics wrong. But in my mind it's ninety nine point nine percent of people and influencers because some of them are so amazing on paper, like you know, on the screen, and then you meet them and there's no subtext behind it. You can't have a discussion where I know, every single thing that you've shared online, you've probably had that discussion with your girlfriends and oh yeah, you know,
or you've researched it online. You've never entered into a discussion if you didn't have something to say, no, like you were never talking for the sake of talking, no, And if you didn't know you were asking questions, which I think is what should be the behind that should be. I don't know what the word that's like the vortex or whatever behind you being there in the first place.
Yeah. But also I think a lot of people are are quite trigger happy, and I have been in the past two without just pulling it right back and sort of what I share and when is really specific and it's really planned.
You know.
I've been through some you know, horrible times and I haven't just woken up the day of something's happened to me and just put it out there. I wait till I processed it with my friends, with my family, with my partner, with my child, with my therapist, and then I think I'm ready, like I've healed from this, but how can what I've been through benefit someone else? And
then I put it out there when I'm ready. If I'm ready knowing that things are come out, things will come back, right, You're going to be really ready for that. If I talk about having a miscarriage, I'm going to get lots of other women who have suffered miscourage and they're going to want to talk to me about it, and they're going to want to share their story. Now, if I'm red raw like it's happened yesterday, I'm not going to be ready for all that. That's just too much.
Well, you're not armed with the information, and I think that's something that you do do. I watch it. I watch it because it happens in real life, and we hear about it in our friendship in real time, and then it will come out on social media like three months later, and then people will ask me about it. I'm like, oh, well that's a little while ago. But
you know. Yeah, I'm like, but you've completely armed yourself with what you're going to say back to people, because someone's experience could be really hectic, and then you've got to be able to have that criticism from them, because some people could be jealous of you being able to be capable of having that conversation as well, So got to be careful with that. You recently shared your story with PMD. Yes, what was that? You know? What's that
like being for you? I mean was it a relief for you to know that you could now label it or you could now think I now know what this is, I now know how to deal with it. Like, how's that? How's that whole process been for you?
Yeah, it's been really positive. It's been such a relief. So PMDD stands for pre menstrual dysphoric disorder, and it is classified as a mood disorder because it's Yes, it's around your periods and your cycle, but it's actually a brain issue. So yeah, my brain doesn't process the hormones properly and I turn into a psycho.
You know, it's really funny And I shouldn't cut you off because we keep talking about this, but I we have never I've never seen you. But this version it's so weird. I've never seen it.
Which version.
Like I said, I only ever have what you and I talking like now like this, this is our entire friendship. I know that sometimes when you can be a little bit mannic in situations that you can explode, but that's never happened in our friendship. I've never seen, not between you and I.
But you've seen me in manic states when I'm breaking up with someone, or I'm going to stalk someone at the local bar, or I'm you know, on my fiercely on my phone looking through. That's when I'm not okay because I have no control over my emotions and they're running. They're running the show.
And I feel bad though, because I feel like I've just I've never told you not to do anything.
Yeah, well that's what friends do.
Supportive, I know, but.
I go and do that.
Really, I won't, like I was in. There's been situations. I mean, I reckon it was nearly twenty years ago we stalked twenty of your ex boyfriends and you were like, do you want to come and stalk my ex boyfriend? I was like, yeah, we bought sausage rolls from the seven to eleven and smoke. Siky's in the car at the front of his house, waiting for it to come home.
See, that's a good friend.
But I probably I was older than you. That's the thing. It is, like, I'm five years older than you, so I probably should have been like you know, Isabelle, it's two in the morning. I think we've got better things to do. But I feel like I'm just I don't. Yeah. Maybe that says more about me than in the type of friendship that I have. But I never say to someone not to do it. I probably feel like, oh, well, you're safer if I'm here.
Yeah, and also you learn from these things. If you say not to do it, I would be still gone. I just wouldn't have been with you, So Vanessa, Yeah, I would have found someone. Yeah. Yeah, it's just been it's been a relief to understand what those past behaviors were and why, and now I can do something about it. I mean, I'm still a work in progress, but I'm getting there and it's really freeing.
So tell me about the book. How did this idea come about? I mean, I think it's genius.
Have you read it, Benjamin.
I am halfway through, and I, I don't know, this is going to sound really strange. I cannot. I did not expect to be emotional reading it at all, and I expected to laugh, and I expected some oh dear over sharing from all three of you, because all three of you, in separate generations, have some common links, I mean, very different women, but there's still that common link of you know, just I'm just going to tell you everything, what's at all. I found that when I read your
first part. I know from everything you've ever written, just even you know on social media that you're very well written. But that first part of those first few pages, I felt immensely proud of you, and I felt emotional for that. But then your mum's the same age as my mum, so her upbringing in Melbourne is so similar to mums, and so that made me emotional. And Emmy the same m's the same age as my grandfather who's no longer with us, but his stories were so similar to hers.
I mean, just the first three lines of Emmy's. I was instantly transported to sitting in a caravan with my grandfather telling stories of his childhood, and I just could not. I just I wept. I I love that, but then immediately after it's not sad all the time. It's almost like the best version of nostalgia and lots of way for Australians to relate to. And I think it has a wider appeal than that. I don't know how you came up with the idea, but it's just genius.
Well, it wasn't my idea. So I had always started writing M's memoir from when I fell pregnant and I had a few months up my sleeve on maternity leave, and that was my idea that I wanted to capture her life. She's got such an amazing story to tell and just to have it in our family was the goal for that project. And then I had the baby, and then I was like, oh, this is too hard. God was halfway through her life and I was like, oh, okay,
I'll come back to that, and I never did. And she had all these handwritten notes and we typed it all up and then far fort to a year ago, I got a LinkedIn message from this female publisher from Simon and Schusta just saying hello, Isabelle love your family on goggle Box. Have you ever thought about writing a memoir the three of you. And I was like, oh my gosh, no, But now that you've said it, and so I, you know, did my research on her. I really, you know, we had a zoom. I wanted to It's
like handing over your sort of diary. You want to hand it to the right person, you know, and you want to have the trust and make sure you're on the same page with your vision and what your goal is and all that for the project. And as soon as I started talking to her, it was like, she's our person, Like she's a woman. She was just strong, powerful, inspiring. She also had a passion for real women's voices out there,
and yeah, she was just she saw the potential. And she's like, it's never been done, like three interwoven voices from three generations. And she's like, you know, I loved her attitude. It's a bit like we're going to wing it, like never done this before, but cool, like love a challenge. And I was like, yeah, and it was challenging to do something like that.
Yeah, I guess she was already speaking your language, which is what you're always looking for. It's like when you're looking for a good boss. I always say to people, you know, you're never going to do any good in that job if your boss doesn't like you, because you then spend all this time trying to make your boss
like you instead of doing the job. You know, So if you can find that commonality, you can find that language immediately with someone you go yes, this is exciting because yeah, trust then comes and obviously the fear of jumping off the edge with something so fragile and so raw as sharing your life story. You know, you want to make sure that all of those things are there. Where so many other people would just be like, alright, let's just you know, go for it, you know, sell
off their stories, you know, see where it goes. But your process would be different for writing for yourself because I can't imagine that knowing you as well as I do, there isn't that narciss's and for you really to write about yourself for I'd never heard you. So I'm going to write a book about Isabelle, you know what I mean?
Yeah?
Where what was the process like for you then to dig deep and share your story? Yes?
So I again, I just did a lot of planning for myself and really thought about what are the topics for women, like sort of the shared female experience that I'm really passionate about, sort of breaking the stigmas on or just talking really honest about And you know, I did like post it notes, and like divorce and having affairs, and bringing up kids and being a daughter, being a granddaughter, my relationship with men, money, Like just I just had hot topics that I was really could speak about for
hours with you know you or anyone really and then I just condensed them into chapters. And so I said to Emmy and Mom, all right, we're going to write about money. Tell me your relationship with money, tell me what you think about money, tell me how money does bad in the world, how it can do good in the world. And we eat had away and wrote it from our perspectives whilst storytelling our own life in it. So yeah, it was really tricky, but it worked.
It's a brilliant tapestry. I said to your mum the other day, I was talking to her yesterday. You probably think it's so weird that I talked to you, mum.
All the time.
I'm talking to her yesterday or the day before. It reminds me of the movie How to Make an American Quilled because I don't know if you've seen that film, but it's a tapestry of story and somehow something so unique and something so different compliments the other and it draws something out. So you might have just read you talking about it, and then you move on to Kerry, and then she brings something out of she unlocks something that you've said, which makes me think this is more
than just a friend giving a testimonial. That's where I think a lot of people could learn from it, you know, That's where I think wow. And then also going back to the fact that all three of you are so able to share funny, emotional backstories of your lives. Do you get scared revealing that kind of stuff from your personal life?
Yeah, well, I think there's definitely something to say about a vulnerability hangover.
Please explain.
Well, you know, when you seriously it's like it's like you're reading my diary, like those words, and I'm so like it's coming out, you know, in a few days, and just like oh fuck, like this is can't take it back now. And even just reading for the audio book, you're sitting there in front of this very sweet and young audio engineer who is a male and you know, I'm reading out like such personal things about my vagina, about having sex with a woman, about getting my period.
That's not for you. In our friendship, it always has been. Now it's for everyone.
This is so fun. But I just had to keep telling myself, you've got this, and this is bigger than you. This is actually not about you. It's it's about the messages for readers and what others can gain out of this. And the poor bloke he got out of the thing and I said, I'm so sorry you had to listen to that. You're not the target audience for this book. And he's like, I loved it, and I was like, okay, it was like I was crying, I was laughing. I
thought it was amazing. And I was thought, oh, okay, Well, if a twenty year old boy can enjoy it, to get enjoy it, then.
You know it's isn't it amazing as well that you have that for the rest of your life? Like to go back and I'd love to hear my grandfather's stories again in his voice, and you all have that for eternity now, and hope more people think, oh god, I've got to get my mom or my grandma, mother's voice or whatever. I've got to have that down. I remember over summer we were in the pool talking about the book, and I think this is an important question to ask.
What was the hardest thing to share for you? And is there anything that's been still left in the edit that you're worried about? Because we discussed a few things that I think have been now taken out and that was probably going too far in some ways. But is there anything left in there that you're thinking, God, that's the thing I don't I'm worried how that's going to land. Hmmm.
Yes. Probably the biggest thing is for me two things. Two things. The first one is my dad. So you know, my mum speaks very openly about their separation, and I kind of didn't want her to divulge sort of his
role in their separation. I felt very strongly that when I talk about my own separation, that I talk about it from my perspective and what I had done, if I'd done it differently, mistakes I'd made, whatever, and I you know, my chapter on separation, it's very raw and very honest, but I was very mindful that I'm talking about another human being not only the father of my child, but he's still alive, and he has friends, and he has a career, and it doesn't matter how much he's
done wrong to me. I am not going to lower myself to publicly humiliate him.
But what made you think that Kerry wouldn't be the same. I don't think that she had the same fears, or do you think that.
I think she doesn't care? So I feel like I kind of had to in my chapters about my relationship with my father. I had to really show the readers that yes, my dad may have made some mistakes in his marriage, but to me as a father, he was amazing. So I just didn't want the reader to come to finish the book and be like, oh, he's about the dad sounds like a complete asshole. Like, yeah, I'm very mindful that this is our book and we are writing. We have the rights to our own and what we
share and what we don't. But someone else who's in that book doesn't have that opportunity to say, well, hang on, I don't really want that to come out. So I've changed people's names, I've haven't shared certain things because it's not up to me to, you know, talk about someone else's so sorry.
Yeah, so good.
I know you should be so proud. But what I am worried about is my own mistakes that are still in the book, and just I hope that have you read that chapter yet?
Is it the backhand of the book?
It's let me see, you would have known if you've.
Read mentioned the topic. Is it about it's about me?
No, it's about me having an affair?
Oh yeah, yeah, No, I haven't read all I made.
You know the story anymore?
Do you tell it? No?
They can read about it.
Do you know what's really strange, going back to something about Alan your father, was that at the time of your first wedding, people in the family and then the friendship circle was so unsure on how to interact with him that day and that night, and he was kind of on his own. And then being at your wedding just recently and being able to talk to alarm was amazing because he was then able to be more comfortable,
and there was and more the story was more understood. Yep, you know, his backstory had evolved to a point where everyone had understood it. Yeah, do you know what I mean?
Well, it's not raw anymore.
But Yeah, it's interesting to see how these stories come along. Was I mean, we kind of touched on this as well. Were there any restrictions from your previous partner when you told him you were going to do the book and how did you manage to navigate that?
Yeah? I thought it was going to be a ship fight and it actually wasn't, which was in a weird way, has kind of brought us closer because we don't really have a very functional relationship with co parent and that's about it. But I was just open and honest with him, and I said, I am not going to to talk about you and what your role was in our marriage or out you know, the death of our marriage, but I will be talking about the marriage and why it
failed from my perspective. And he said, okay, I respect that. Can you send me what you've written? And I was like, oh, send, Like, oh god, oh God. So I sent him the chapter, and I think I sent him a couple of chapters.
I think it would have been really hard, yeah, but also really hard for him maybe to read how what it was like for me to pick up the pieces as a single mom, like by myself struggling mentally and physically the way I did, and maybe maybe he started to sort of feel a bit sorry for me and maybe have a bit more empathy than when you're in it.
I mean, it was so long ago now. I also sent him the affair chapter, like, yes, he found out I had the affair, so it wasn't news to him, but I him to know again to read the words and to understand what was going to be put out there. And I also sent him the PMDD chapter because I really wanted to show him that the book was not about me pretending that I'm this perfect person and you know, I'm going to tell all the shiny things about my life that I was really willing to share the truth
about myself. And so he read all of it and he wrote back, I really respect that that was your point of view. I disagree with some of.
It, but of course, like everyone's.
Good to yeah, but you're welcome to to publish it. So that was a big relief because I was like, I'm going to get lawyers on me. It's going to be a defamation case. I'm like, ah, but yeah, it's good to be on the same page with your ex husband, who's you know, you want to have like calf it kin'd of get along with them.
So I reckon my favorite thing I reckon It sounds so a strange. I reckon. My favorite thing about you is your rawness. It's always has been like you've never tried to pretend that you're perfect. And it's funny along the way some of my friends, with our mutual friends, have tried to perfect the way that they are seeing by people, and it's almost diluted the friendship in some ways where it's like, no, do you remember back twenty
years ago, we would you know, rob a bank. We never robbed a back, We never robbed a bank, but you know we would metaphorically rob a bank. You know, we would still share that.
I and not care what people thought. You know, we've never had any shame, and I think it still goes the older we get, shame just goes out the window like I'm too old for well, I'm too old for shame. I don't care, like you know, and just owning your own shit is just it's refreshing for yourself and it's refreshing for anyone else around you.
People need the city. I always say now is you need to sit in your ship. But I had a friend of mine ring me and he said, I've had this massive fight with my boyfriend and I need to come and stay with you. And this was late at night, and I said no, I said, and years ago i'd be like, come over and have a wine and we'll commiserate and play Lady Gaga or whatever would have been Madonna back there. But I said, no, you need to
stay there. You need to sit in your shit. And then he thanked me for that later on he was like, I could have walked out of that relationship at that point, but I'm somehow sad in it, and that's where you kind of work it all out, you know, and you know that's what I think, that's what we more of us need to do. Do you think that that's kind of the mission statement behind the book Out of the Box, which by the way, is out on Mother's Day? Do you think that's kind of the mission statement? Is just
being completely trans parent and being honest. And I guess being transparent, being honest and allowing other maybe women, but families connect a little bit more.
I think that's the key to connection. I think it is having really honest and brave conversations and the person that you're talking to may or may not agree with you or like what you've got to say, but at the end of it, it actually brings you closer. That's what intimacy, no matter what relationship we're talking about, is
built upon, is true authenticity and vulnerability and honesty. They're the key ingredients in my opinion, for a good relationship, good friendship, good marriage, good whatever.
People will probably think it's a bit of you know, a love in because you know, we obviously a friend, sort of complimenting each other. But I would really like to see you on shows like The Project, like morning shows as a staple, someone who's there because, you know, beyond me supporting your success and wanting that to be Oh yeah, that's a sign of success. I really think that you have so much to waffer. I think that you have a unique and brilliant perspective that is something
more men and women need to hear. And I think that so many people on television at the moment have presenting where I think you're not doing that. I think that you're actually opening lines of communication and being true to yourself.
Yeah.
I've sat on those shows as a guest, and I've seen people on them have a persona that dilutes straight away and then they're this horrible other person, you know what I mean, Or they're just completely different to who they were pretending to be. Yeah, and that's what we need to see more. We need to see more people on screen who are authentically being themselves and not presenting.
Yeah, I would agree with you. I don't know whether how ready I am to present, but I yeah, I think I see myself as a conversation starter and just a real voice on different issues that I can either relate to or not. But I'm yeah, I just I'm all about challenging the status quo, like breaking down the stigmas, the barriers that redefining the norms and sort of yeah,
just thinking out of the box. I No, it sounds really cliche, but yeah, I'm just so sick of just mainstream ways of thinking and doing and everyone just follows along, Like, let's just have a different conversation and see it a different way.
Yeah, Because I also think you can talk about politics, and a lot of people these days are scared to talk about politics where you're so adverse to knowing what you're talking about. Anyway, I think that that kind of stuff I always ask this to all the goggle Boxes, so don't feel like this is a trick question. But how many more series of goggle Box do you think that you'll do?
I don't know. I've always said I'll play it by it around Emmy's health. I think if she gets if it's too tiring for her, or you know, she just can't handle it anymore. You know, it's two or three nights a week and it's a lot, then we'll probably give it up. But yeah, I mean at the moment, we're still really enjoying it. It's just it feels like home.
And I think people are still willing for you to be in their homes. There has been a time, and I'm not like calling anyone out, but there's been a time where people on that show their time has come and they've moved on. And it's and that's because you can see it in itself. You know they've shared enough, or it's not they're not sharing again. You know. I think for you guys, you're continuously sharing, which I think means that people are still willing and wanting you to
be in their homes. Honestly, I didn't think this when you started, but I think that you are now probably the most popular family on the show.
I think you're being biased, am I Oh, I.
Mean i'd probably have to. When I first would watch it, I was so nervous for you. I was so nervous how you would come across that I would actually just fast forward to the bits of you and watch it. But it was so out of context, and it's not the way to It was not the way to watch it, and that it wasn't until I reinvested in it years later, and now I can watch google Box with you want it, And maybe, yeah, I'm probably a little bit by I think.
I think Emmy's Emmy's got a soft spot in everyone's heart, I think.
But she represents a person in everyone's family. We've all got a grandmother, yeah, you know, and that relationship is something I ask everyone who joins the podcast, is what's something from behind the scenes, something that we're as an audience did not see and will not see from your making of goggle Box, Like, what's something from behind the scenes that people may not have known? Are behind the scenes secret behind the.
Scene secrets that Emmy burps and farts a lot, like all through filming and the poor audio person has to cop it, so they edit a lot of that out. I don't think they've ever shown her farting or burping, which is so.
Lovely, so lovely, But now we have told the scenes.
She wouldn't care. She's proud of it. But like she'll get up off the catch to go and get a glass of oil, and it'll be.
Like the whole way there and I'm like, can you hear that?
She's like, oh, yes, m I apologize to the audio guide, poor microphone.
Yeah, well, this has just been so much fun to be able to have a conversation. Oh, this is just is so bizarre because it just feels perfectly normal. Yeah, to ask you the most embarrassing and intrusive questions.
Well, get onto the rest of the book. You will. You'll need a drink and you'll need some tissues, because yeah, it does get If you think.
The start was sad, well you come going somewhere.
You haven't even touched the surface.
Yet Isabelle Silbury's book. Oh we should quickly say that, are we going to change your name where you're still going to be Isabelle Silberry.
I think we'll still be asked, I think will I think I will look, I've changed my name legally, but I'm just going to stay as silbery.
For I love your in. Your name Isabelle Richards because it just sounds so it sounds like a stage name, sounds like a name that would be on Melroe's Place or Days of our Lives Isabelle Richards rich But I will quickly say the book is out. Mother's Day, goggle Box is on. We've we've got two more episodes left of this series.
Yeah, it's actually the book is available on the twenty sixth. They've moved it of this month because we realize if it's available on Mother's Day, there's no time to get the book and give it to your mom. So yeah, the twenty six it's available. So yeah, order it, get it delivered, go to DIMIs or kmart or wherever. Big w A bye for your mum or your grandma or your daughter.
Thank you so much for being on the podcast, so having me