On today's episode of Turtle Time - "Spin Thy Bottle" - we begin with some of the most vital news you've ever heard in your life - Austen Kroll's new cat food sponsorship, the RHOBH season 15 reunion seating chart, Lisa Vanderpump getting interviewed in London, and Banksy's unmasking. (00:00 - 34:55) And then we dedicate all of our energy to talking about this week's wonderful episode of Summer House - season 10, episode 7 - "Marry a DJ" - and recap every single moment in it. (35:30) If you enjo...
Mar 18, 2026•1 hr 39 min
Tom Sandoval and Tom Schwartz scrub the SUR toilets and engage in "toilet humor". Also, Jax Taylor has to take a spoonful of bitter medicine when Sandoval hosts a rival pool party. If you enjoyed this teaser, join the Turtle Time Patreon and become a Villa Rosa VIP to hear the full episode and access exclusive bonus content! We'll be recapping the Vanderpump Rules series from the beginning each week. And if you need even more Turtle Time in your life, follow us on TikTok or Instagram . Learn...
Mar 16, 2026•9 min
On this very special episode of Turtle Time - "Craig's Lost Souls" - we discuss all of the hottest news of the week like Harrison Ford doing the press run of the century, Kyle Cooke saying he's attracted to Maura from Traitors, and we give a whole-hearted congratulations to Cole McBee for having another child on the way. (00:00 - 21:25) As Turtle Time continues, we discuss the season 11 finale of Southern Charm - "Salley Season". (21:25) And then lastly, we recap this week's episode of the Real ...
Mar 13, 2026•1 hr 52 min
On today's episode of Turtle Time - "Bailey Blows It Big Time With Ben" - we begin with some of the most vital news you've ever heard in your life - Jax and Brittany's custody deal, the new RHONY cast with Carole Radziwill, Scheana Shay saying Lisa Vanderpump wanted Lala to have sex with Tom Sandoval, and that's just the start of it! (00:00 - 23:25) And then we ramp up by talking about this week's phenomenal episode of Summer House - season 10, episode 6 - "The End of Bailey and Ben " - and reca...
Mar 11, 2026•1 hr 50 min
Jax Taylor roars life back into Vanderpump Rules season 8 by having a complete meltdown about having to go to a Malibu beach to pick up trash. If you enjoyed this teaser, join the Turtle Time Patreon and become a Villa Rosa VIP to hear the full episode and access exclusive bonus content! We'll be recapping the Vanderpump Rules series from the beginning each week. And if you need even more Turtle Time in your life, follow us on TikTok or Instagram . Learn more about your ad choices. Visit meg...
Mar 09, 2026•6 min
We are going BELOW DECK for the first time and we never want to come back up! That's right - for the first time in Turtle Time history, we're recapping the Below Deck franchise, with the Below Deck: Down Under x Real Housewives of Salt Lake City crossover event of the century. So grab your floatie couture, make sure your anchor doesn't whinge, and sail away with us on a Turtle Time Trip that will hopefully make you okay with the fact that we didn't recap Southern Charm or Beverly Hills this week...
Mar 06, 2026•1 hr 10 min
On today's episode of Turtle Time - "The Last Duel for Ciara's Heart" - we have Summer House fever! That's right - we are dedicating an entire episode to Summer House with only 10 minutes of shitty non-Bravo news! So get ready for a major recap of this week's episode of Summer House - season 10, episode 5 - "Medieval Times" which is so detailed it's basically like we were on an Arthurian quest to dissect the shit out of it. If you enjoyed this episode and need more Turtle Time in your life, join...
Mar 04, 2026•1 hr 8 min
On this very special episode of Turtle Time - "Dr. Craigy and Mr. Craig" - we discuss all of the hottest news of the week like Lisa Rinna doing stuff. (15:45) As the episode continues, we discuss this week's episode of Southern Charm (season 11, episode 13) - "Craig Gets Drunk and Screams Again". (15:45) And then lastly, we discuss this week's episode of the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills (season 15, episode 11) - "We Need To Talk About Dorit's Shopping". (01:05:10) If you enjoyed this episode...
Feb 27, 2026•1 hr 59 min
On today's episode of Turtle Time - "What Did Jesse Solomon Do?" - we discuss Paddington blowing it at the BAFTAs, the RHOA season 17 trailer, Vanderpump Rules being renewed, and Ariana Madix moving her belongings from the home she used to share with Tom Sandoval. (00:00 - 29:00) And then we break down our favorite moments from Part 2 of the Real Housewives of Potomac season 10 reunion. (29:00) After that, we rip into this week's episode of Summer House - season 10, episode 4 - "Ben's Australian...
Feb 25, 2026•1 hr 47 min
We try to crack the code on why Katie and Stassi hate Kristen so much this season. If you enjoyed this teaser, join the Turtle Time Patreon and become a Villa Rosa VIP to hear the full episode and access exclusive bonus content! We'll be recapping the Vanderpump Rules series from the beginning each week. And if you need even more Turtle Time in your life, follow us on TikTok or Instagram . Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices...
Feb 24, 2026•8 min
On this very special episode of Turtle Time - "Charley's Secret" - we discuss all of the hottest news of the week like Dorinda Medley pulling a full-blown Roof Man at Bloomingdale's as well as her statement on joining E!'s "The Golden Life" and what it means for her future on Bravo. And we break down the new trailer for The Valley season 3. (22:50) As the episode continues, we discuss this week's episode of Southern Charm (season 11, episode 12) - "The Night at the Iguana". (39:20) And then last...
Feb 20, 2026•2 hr 15 min
On today's episode of Turtle Time - "On Apology Beach" - we discuss Bethenny Frankel meeting up with Ramona Singer and Sonja Morgan in Florida, Michelle Obama's Bravo love, and the RHOA teaser for the upcoming season. (00:00 - 23:10) And then we break down our favorite moments from Part 1 of the Real Housewives of Potomac season 10 reunion. (23:10) After that, we rip into this week's episode of Summer House - season 10, episode 3 - "I Went to Apology Beach and All I Got Was This Lousy Apology" a...
Feb 18, 2026•1 hr 53 min
Sean McBearney makes a good impression on Lisa Vanderpump when she goes to "check in" on her new hotel room in Caesar's Palace. And Riley shares his thoughts on The Godfather: Part III. From our recap of "Mr. and Mrs. Schwartz Take Two". If you enjoyed this teaser, join the Turtle Time Patreon and become a Villa Rosa VIP to hear the full episode and access exclusive bonus content! We'll be recapping the Vanderpump Rules series from the beginning each week. And if you need even more Turtle Time i...
Feb 16, 2026•5 min
On this very special episode of Turtle Time - "The Legend of Itchy Grass Farm" - we discuss all of the hottest news of the week like Dorinda Medley becoming a friend-of or quite possibly replacing Jill Zarin on E! new show, "The Golden Life", Andy Cohen's new Mackage ad hot off the heels of his Nerds campaign, and much more! (00:00 - 18:50) We then discuss this week's episode (season 11, episode 11) of Southern Charm - "Big Whit Dinner". (18:50) And finally, we discuss this week's episode of the...
Feb 13, 2026•2 hr
On today's episode of Turtle Time - "Amy and Riley's Summer House Sailgate" - we discuss the party of the year, The Reality Hot Seat Sailgate Party, in San Francisco and all of the wonderful people we met. We then discuss Jill Zarin's comments on Bad Bunny's Super Bowl performance resulting in her getting fired from E! upcoming show, The Golden Life. (00:00 - 33:15) Then we rip into this week's episode of Summer House - season 10, episode 2 - "Kyle's Toast" and dissect every aspect of it. (33:15...
Feb 11, 2026•1 hr 56 min
The trio of Max, Dayna, and Brett continue their reign of terror on Season 8 of Vanderpump Rules. If you enjoyed this teaser, join the Turtle Time Patreon and become a Villa Rosa VIP to hear the full episode and access exclusive bonus content! We'll be recapping the Vanderpump Rules series from the beginning each week. And if you need even more Turtle Time in your life, follow us on TikTok or Instagram . Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices...
Feb 10, 2026•11 min
On this very special episode of Turtle Time - "In the Shadow of Salley" - we discuss all of the hottest news of the week like the Summer House: In The City teaser, the Real Housewives of Rhode Island trailer, Bronwyn Newport's new boyfriend, and Teddi Mellencamp becoming Chala Lilly on The Masked Singer. (00:00 - 30:35) We then discuss this week's episode (season 11, episode 10) of Southern Charm - "Itchy Grass Farm". (30:35) And finally, we discuss this week's episode of the Real Housewives of ...
Feb 06, 2026•1 hr 53 min
On today's cathartic episode of Turtle Time - "Mr. and Mrs. Send It" - we break down all of the hottest news items of the week like the Paige DeSorbo / Kinder Bueno ad that will be "scoring points" with candy bar heads at the Big Game this year, as well as the OG RHONY cast defecting over to the E! network for their new show, The Golden Life. (00:00 - 23:10) We then break down Andy Cohen's sit down with Karen Huger for the Real Housewives of Potomac season finale. (23:10) Then we rip into the se...
Feb 04, 2026•2 hr 7 min
Amy and Riley discuss the 2008 film, Twilight , as part of our ongoing Villa Rosa Film Society series. If you enjoyed this teaser, join the Turtle Time Patreon and become a Screening Room VIP to hear the full episode. We'll be releasing film discussions each month. And if you need even more Turtle Time in your life, follow us on TikTok or Instagram . Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices...
Feb 03, 2026•14 min
Amy and Riley discuss Tom Schwartz' despicable treatment of Katie after Randall Emmett's cop prank on Tom Sandoval. If you enjoyed this teaser, join the Turtle Time Patreon and become a Villa Rosa VIP to hear the full episode and access exclusive bonus content! We'll be recapping the Vanderpump Rules series from the beginning each week. And if you need even more Turtle Time in your life, follow us on TikTok or Instagram . Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices...
Feb 02, 2026•9 min
On this very special episode of Turtle Time - "Money Queen and Co. " - we discuss all of the hottest news of the week like Barry Keoghan's new hairstyle that makes him look sort of like Ringo from The Beatles, and much, much more. (00:00 - 24:10) We then discuss this week's episode (season 11, episode 9) of Southern Charm - "Austen's Brackish New Bowtie". (24:10) And finally, we discuss this week's episode of the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills (season 15, episode 7) - "Disregulated". (01:12:10...
Jan 30, 2026•1 hr 49 min
On today's soon to be award-winning episode of Turtle Time - "The Cherry on Todd" - we break down all of the hottest news items of the week like Kendall Jenner's new provocative ad campaign, the Summer House season 10 sneak peek, and Carl Radke's new podcast, More Life with special guest Kyle Cooke. (00:00 - 17:50) We then talk about this week's wonderful episode Real Housewives of Potomac (S10 E16) - "Wandering Land" (17:50) And then recap this week's episode of Vanderpump Rules - season 12 epi...
Jan 28, 2026•1 hr 41 min
Amy and Riley theorize on the Austin Powers film franchise and its impact on Lisa Vanderpump and Ken Todd. If you enjoyed this teaser, join the Turtle Time Patreon and become a Villa Rosa VIP to hear the full episode and access exclusive bonus content! We'll be recapping the Vanderpump Rules series from the beginning each week. And if you need even more Turtle Time in your life, follow us on TikTok or Instagram . Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices...
Jan 26, 2026•9 min
On this very special episode of Turtle Time - "Craig's Enemy" - we discuss all of the hottest news of the week like Marysol Patton resurrecting her deceased mother to sell caviar, Tom Sandoval's descent into Hell on House of Villains, and what it would be like if Tom Cruise went to Trader Joe's. (00:00 - 30:25) We then discuss this week's episode (S11 E8) of Southern Charm - "A Tough Conversation". (30:30) And finally, we discuss this week's episode of the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills (seaso...
Jan 23, 2026•2 hr 1 min
On today's soon to be award-winning episode of Turtle Time - "Barlow's Burner" - we break down all of the hottest news items of the week including the fallout from Kyle Cooke and Amanda Batula's separation announcement, Ben Affleck's respectful reaction to not knowing Lisa Barlow, Venus Brinkley's comments about Scheana Shay, and the Victoria Beckham wedding dance that's going viral. (00:00 - 26:00) We then discuss the latest developments on this week's episode Real Housewives of Potomac (S10 E1...
Jan 21, 2026•1 hr 55 min
Enter the Turtle Time Situation Room with us as we discuss Amanda Batula and Kyle Cooke's separation and what it means for our lives. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Jan 19, 2026•19 min
On this very special episode of Turtle Time - "Salley Collects Chickens for the Chicken Coop" - we discuss all of the hottest news of the week like Harry Styles bringing disco back, the Ultimate Road Trip cast announcement, Luann DeLesseps kissing someone, and Ariana Madix and Tom Sandoval officially ending Scandoval by agreeing to a settlement. (00:00 - 26:20) We then discuss this week's episode (S11 E7) of Southern Charm - "Counting Your Chickens Before They Hatch". (26:20) And finally, we dis...
Jan 16, 2026•1 hr 37 min
On today's ground-breaking episode of Turtle Time - "The Business of Being Barlow" - we break down all of the hottest news items of the week including Katie Ginella getting fired from RHOC and Paige DeSorbo saying her boyfriend's name on Giggly Squad as well as an in-depth review of James Cameron's latest film, Avatar: Fire and Ash. (00:00 - 32:05) We then discuss the latest developments on Real Housewives of Potomac. (32:05) We then discuss this week's episode of Vanderpump Rules - season 12 ep...
Jan 14, 2026•1 hr 59 min
Amy and Riley provide an assessment of Dayna, Max, and Brett's performance on season 8 of Vanderpump Rules. If you enjoyed this teaser, join the Turtle Time Patreon and become a Villa Rosa VIP to hear the full episode and access exclusive bonus content! We'll be recapping the Vanderpump Rules series from the beginning each week. And if you need even more Turtle Time in your life, follow us on TikTok or Instagram . Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices...
Jan 12, 2026•8 min
On this very special episode of Turtle Time - "The Birth of Sutton Brown" - we discuss all of the hottest news of the week like the upcoming Oscar race and whether Jay Kelly has what it takes, Andy Cohen getting a garbage can named after him, and RHOC's Gina Kirschenheiter getting engaged. (00:00 - 22:20) We then talk our asses off while talking about this week's episode (S11 E6) of Southern Charm - "A Medium Rare Kind of Steak" (22:20). And finally, we discuss this week's episode of Real Housew...
Jan 09, 2026•1 hr 34 min
