Frozen Frights #22- Catnip

It's time for Tales of Terror only on the Mutual Audio Network.

The following audiodrama is rated PG for parental guidance.

Hey, this is Jeff from the Icebox Radio Theater and we'll get on with the show in just a second, but I wanted to come on first and very briefly let you know about our brand new Patreon page. Now Patreon is a relatively new crowdfunding source.

The following audiodrama is rated P G thirteen for parental guidance.

Right.

New audios theater of suspense and terror. Now. On Icebox Radio

So then Lenny was An allegory? of of how hard it was to be retarded. Um I mean disabled, you know.

I think the first thing we shall do, young man, is to buy you a dictionary so that you learn to use the word allegory correctly.

Yes, Miss Price.

I am being sarcastic, of course. I assume you already own a dictionary.

Um I think my laptop has one.

Yeah.

Well the thing about that.

That is.

Pass it voice.

Y yes, ma'am. Yes. I know how to use it.

Use what?

Yes, I know how to use my computer's dictionary program.

Excellent. I think that's about all the time we have for today. When is your test of mice and men? Friday. Have you read the book?

Well um m most of it?

H mister Connolly, why did your parents hire me as your English tutor?

Um so I could play this season.

So that your grades would improve.

Oh yeah.

You are not a dull witted boy, I can see that.

I'm real good at math, yeah.

Exactly. You are not dull witted. You spend too much time on the playing fields, but I suppose that can be excused for a boy your age. There are worse things you could be doing after Oscar.

Thank you.

But you must recognize where your weakness lies and work to improve it.

English just isn't my thing.

I taught boys worse off than you, and when they left my class they could not only construct a sentence properly, they had a solid grasp of the literary heritage that born them. Do you have any idea how valuable that is, mister Connolly?

My dad thinks it's real valuable.

Very valuable.

I mean yeah, very valuable. That's why you said we should hire you. You taught him, right?

Your father was very gratifying to teach. Like you, his concentration was non existent at the beginning, but he soon came around. Oh.

Oh Dad said if you couldn't teach me, nobody could.

Hm far from the truth, but I'll take that as a compliment nonetheless.

You have your books? Yes, ma'am. Hello Pluto.

How did you get out of the kitchen? Well,

How?

He's huge.

Do you like cats, Jason?

I like all animals. Uh we got two horses, three dogs, and I don't really remember how many cats. Oh we got a black cat too.

He was named for the cat in pose the black cat, a massive beast with white marks the shape of a hangman's noose on his chest.

Cool. Is that what that is?

The cat in the poem had the m that mark. My Pluto has white markings in the right spot, but I've never been able to decipher exactly what they represent.

It's like a Rorschach blot. Hmm? Uh you know the psychiatric test? They show you like ink blots and stuff and the spot means different things depending on how crazy you are.

I am aware of the Rorschach test, yes.

No.

Cats are charming animals, but they are such a distraction when I am teaching. I restrict them to the kitchen.

Wow, how many cats do you have?

There are six. You needn't sound so surprised.

Well, there looks like more when they all run around like that.

They are all I need. This is the first of the month, Jason. Did your father?

Oh right, right, um there's a check. Here you go.

Thank you. This completes our lesson for today. Okay.

Bye, kitty cat. Thank you, Miss Price.

I want a full report on of mice and men next time.

Yeah.

Don't look at me like that. We need the money and that lumbering idiot would never pass without me. Then would where will our school be without its beloved halfback or whatever? Yes, yes, I know. It's feeding time. First things first. If I'm going to keep tutoring, I'll need more wine.

Good God, Sibyl, do you need to answer the phone like that? I feel like I'm calling the Department of Motor Vehicles.

Hello, Frederick. Make it snappy, would you? I have a splitting headache.

We're in a mood, are we?

A savage mood. I just finished an hour with that Conley boy, and I fear my wine supply is inadequate.

Would you like me to bring some?

Are you coming over? I thought that was tomorrow.

Oh it was but have you seen the weather forecast? I shall be spending tomorrow digging like everyone else. I thought I'd bring you that book.

Oh y yes, you're right, of course. But um I think I'm just going to lie down. Can I have a ring check?

I'll leave the book by the front porch, shall I?

That would be lovely. I swear, Frederick, I feel positively weak. Thirty years ago I taught rooms full of those hormonal primates. Now just one sets me on edge.

You're going soft, old girl.

Just leave the book on the porch. I think I'm going to feed the cats and go lie down.

Quiet as a church mouse.

Your dear. I wonder, Pluto, should I just throw a rope around dear Frederick and insist we grow old together? uh grow older together. No. I do imagine it's too late. You're the only man for me now. Yes, yes, I hear you, Heathcliff. You're my boy as well. You're just not as high up as Pluto, and don't you forget?

He's a nice guy.

Sybil, you know it's time to retire. Don't make us pull your contract. No room for archive.

The spot means different things depending on how crazy you are you are.

No.

F-Where?!F-What?! Oh you old fool you've done it now fallen down the stairs. Frederick will never let me hear the end of this. He always said those basement stairs were too steep well maybe not. Oh my god, oh my god I can't stand the pain. No one can stand it. Oh no, a broken. Probably mortifying old woman falls down her basement steps and breaks her hip. So common. Why couldn't I just die? All right, calm down. Think about this.

Come on you were right about the weather it's coming already Come on, Frederick, come on. Pluto dear, turn away! Mommy's going to crawl across the basement. I need to be right under the front porch, you know. I need to be ready to call when Frederick comes. Oh. Alrighty. Backbone, you old woman. Now! Try the other side. Better. That's better. I can do this. Halfway. You can do this, Sybil. Keep going, keep going. You can't make an omelet without Breaked into my hand. I can't!

All right. Star was coming on. You can't afford to think like that. Do you want to be found here like this? What's in front of you? It's not going to bandage itself, and you need a bandage, you old fool. You keep bleeding like this, they will find you here.

Fair.

Stack of rags just All right, all right. Uh welcome. Oh yes. How fun. Yes. Fortuitous that a boss. Should be there. Oh, sweetheart, I know. I'm so sorry. Tuna for everybody once this is over. I'm so. Pluto, Pluto, get away from that. That's disgusting. That's where I I cut myself there. Don't lick Oooood Stop that. Poor thing is hungry, and I bled like a stuck pig and I'm sorry, dear heart. I really am. Just don't do that. Please don't.

Oh, you old fool. You humanize these beasts when that's all they are beasts. I mean, look at them. The claws, the fangs, they're all still intact. If you were to die in this basement, they would find some hole somewhere, get outside, begin to chase mice. By the time they found you, this would be their house. It is their house, isn't it? They outnumber you and they're not dogs, they're not pack animals. You're not the alpha. You're just Source. That's your blood over there.

Let go of me, young man. I'm warning you I Oh no I didn't mean it, dear heart. I know you were hungry. I'm sorry for all that pain was just too much. You grabbed hold of Mommy's injured hand, and I didn't know what Oh Heathcliff, Mommy's sorry. Mommy's so sorry. Pluto bit me and I hit him. Hit him a little too hard?

Tired So very tired. Time is the

He's gone.

All right. You're all right, dear heart. I What's going on? Why are they all here? Why are they so quiet? But always always believe him, where is he?

Why are they all here?

I know you're all hungry. Mommy's feeling better. Mommy's going to go upstairs now. No, Candy, not now. Don't want to play now. Yes, yes, I love you, but I don't... That candy? Please don't nuzzle my lips.

It hurts.

I told you it hurts.

You want your damn cat food?

Upstairs. No

Filthy beasts, what do you want? You want me, is that it? I feed you and keep you for years and the first chance you get you turn on me? Get out of my way.

Just clear.

You're just filthy animals. That's

Stay back, I said. I'll do it this time. I'll kill the first one of you that

believe you would get off of me get off of me stay back all of you you saw what I did to Pluto I'll

You're alright. You're you're alright. It's so good to see you. Mommy's sorry about what she did.

I forgot you.

You'll never see it again.

Yeah.

Half of horror?

Such as might have arisen only.

Damned in their agony.

Pluto? What do you-

I've planned it. Mm-hmm.

She needs to get upstairs. To get upstairs, do you hear me? I'll get upstairs, I'll get up. Everything will be fine. No, I need to get upstairs! Pluto! Pluto!

Miss Price? What?

Help!

Miss Price.

Jason?

Check on you after the storm. Are you okay? No.

I'm not. Dear boy, I'm glad to see you. I think.

Didn't you?

Quite badly, I'm afraid.

Nine one one? Yes. I need an ambulance at nine oh five Third Street. It's all right, Miss Bryce. It's going to be all right now.

There we are.

Thank you, Frederick. Please don't make a fuss.

Oh none of that. Homecoming from surgery is a major occasion.

Hardly surgery. They put two pins in.

You are a heroine, Sibyl. You're a heroine to us all.

Oh, yeah.

And I will never ever forgive myself. I was right here blundering onto your porch, not a thought in my head.

Frederick, please, you've fussed over me enough. You know I'm not at all comfortable with this attention.

I I I've had your flowers move from your hospital room to here. See?

You didn't need to do that.

Look at how many from old students. Amazing. You're truly loved, Sibyl. You need to remember that.

It's just a shame I had to make a fool of myself to learn it.

Mm, they know how it is. You retire, they forget you, until you do something to remind them. You're lucky. Most of us have to die.

Ha ha ha.

Goodness, when was the last time I heard you laugh?

Oh I suppose it has been a while.

Hm. Now I've got to go home and feed the dogs, but I'm coming back this evening.

Fred.

Now now, some ladies from the church stocked your freezer with meals. I think I can handle a microwave, all right. We'll sit, we'll have a glass of wine with some god awful casserole, and we'll watch Jeopardy. What do you say?

Well, that does sound nice I suppose Frederick

Yes, dear.

Who's who has been taking care of the cat?

Oh I asked the Condley boy. Oh and and we stock their favorite food as well and uh and uh put it in the pantry upstairs instead of the basement. It just seemed well.

You know. I understand. Are they all right, Mr. The cats, I mean.

Well, as far as I know, I haven't heard from the boy to the contrary. Do you miss them? Oh we could find one of the little buggers.

No.

I mean they're probably punishing me for leaving them. You know how cats

Yeah. W would you like some tea before I go?

You're going?

Sibyl, I just said I I'm going home to feed the dogs, and I'll be back before you know it. Would you like anything?

No, I guess not. Do hurry back, though. The cats Uh the cats will probably want something. And I'm in no condition to move around.

Oh yes. Oh that does remind me. Yes? Something the Conley boys said. Now as a group, your cats seemed to have lost their appetite for the food you had stocked for them. He had a terrible time keeping them in the house, too.

Really?

We said the little buggers kept finding ways outside of all things. Could you imagine, trooping around in the snow? Did they leave the house before?

No. None of them ever left the house.

Well, I'm sure they just reverted to the old instinctive ways. They got quite good at catching mice, squirrels, whatever they could find. I can't imagine they caught much this being winter and all.

Frederick?

Ya, c'est bon.

I have a rather large favor to ask. Could you please just not feed the dogs right now?

What?

Could you please just stay here? Stay with me for Yes, I know, but could you stay here?

Simple. The boys have been fed since this morning. No need to be let into the run and fed, and little attention ever hurt either. I'll be right back. I promise I

Please, Frederick, I'm begging you.

Here, here Oh, don't don't do that, Noah Of course I'll stay, sweetheart. Of course I'll stay. Yes, naturally. Why you're you're quivering and your hands are as cold as ice.

Oh, I'm just a silly I'm just cold.

Well we should have that tea now. I know where the kettle is, don't worry about me.

Frederick? Hmm? Thank you.

Oh simple. Don't give in another thought. We'd be lost, you and I, without each other.

Yes, I suppose that's right. I do appreciate it, but

Oh, think nothing of it. Now if I could remember where a woman keeps the tea

Who? Frederick?

Fred Rick!

Pluto! What are you doing to him?

I promise you.

I'll get your treatment. I'll get your treat.

Was written and directed by Jeffrey Adams.

Scott Walsh starred as Jason.

Faith as Sybil Price.

Some sound effects are not.

at freesound.org.

In fact, one got to lick tuna right up. This program copyright 2010 by the Icebox Radio Theater. Visit their website at iceboxradio.com.