Reckless Love is a Slytherin Song

Welcome to another year at Hogwart's School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Now I'd like to say a few words before we all become too befuddled by excellent the excellent feast of delicious nerd talk. I have a few start-of-term notices I wish to announce. First years, please note the Dark Forest of Non-canon Fan Fiction over-sexualizing friendships is strictly forbidden to all students. Also, our caretaker, Mr. Perdiguerra has asked me to remind you that the third-floor corridor of Neville Longbottom and Luna Lovegood haters on the right-hand side is out of bounds to everyone who does not wish to die a most painful death. On a lighter note, please see Ethan Kho, the quidditch captain for Gryffindor, who is looking for a new seeker. Our current seeker is fighting "He Who Must Not be Named". 

Lastly, I am pleased to welcome a few new professors of herbology, muggle studies, and defense against the dark arts today. Hmm... I'll let them introduce themselves.