¶ Intro / Opening
Open your Bibles to Isaiah 64 and meet me at verse 8. Isaiah 64 and verse 8.
¶ The prophet Isaiah shares with us
The prophet Isaiah shares with us under the unction of the precious Holy Spirit. But now, O Lord, you are our father. We are the clay and you are potter. And all we are, the work of your hand. In the Old Testament, and Isaiah is found in the Old Testament. There is not a lot of reference to God being our father. Yes, we understand that he is the father of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob. We've heard that. And he's the father of Israel, right? We understand that.
But there is no real reference to God being more than just the originator or the creator or the source. And so, for example, in the old covenant, they always saw God as just the source, which is important, as the beginning, which is important, as the one who is the founder, which is important.
¶ The Old Covenant Perspective of God
But God was limited to just being the one who originated life, started the group of Israel, the one who founded the lineage of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob. of. And so when we viewed him, we viewed him in such a way. For example, and many people a lot today have stepfathers and thank God for stepfathers. Stepfathers have stepped in and done a great job when biological fathers have not. And many people don't have a relationship with their biological father.
And so that biological father is no less a father, but he's simply just the source, the originator, the creator of you. And if you had a good stepfather, that stepfather came in and took it a little further than simply just being the one that brought you on the earth. Just simply being the one that was the seed that was implanted that got you to exist here on the earth. And so God in the Old Testament was really only referred to, Elohim was really only referred to as the originator, the source.
And no one truly, except for some exceptions, had great relationship with Elohim. There are some exceptions, like we know Moses had an encounter, Abraham had good encounters with them, and Enoch was taken, right? There's some exceptions, but for the most part, God was an arm's length distance.
¶ Jesus Redefines Our Relationship with God
They respected him, but greatly feared him, and not just reverentially. But frightened and terrified of him. But then Jesus came, and when Jesus came, he brought a title that we have never heard before. When he started referring to Elohim, God, as his father, we saw a different sort of relationship with God that we have never really seen before. And take a look here. I believe it's Mark chapter 14. Is that right? And we'll look at verse 32. Mark chapter 14, verse 32.
It says, Even till death, he was so sad that he was sad enough to die. Stay here and watch. Look at verse 35. And he went a little further and fell on the ground and prayed that if it were possible, the hour might pass from him. Verse 36. And he said, Abba, Father, all things are possible for you. Take this cup away from me. Nevertheless, not what I will, but what you will. So notice in this moment of distress, Jesus is about ready to go to the cross.
He's about ready to suffer greatly for you and I. We are the joy that was set before him so that he endured the cross. And so he's about to go to the cross. He's about to get whipped and beaten and suffered and spit on and made fun of and carry all of the weight of the sin and shame of this earth and of humanity for us.
¶ The Significance of Calling God Abba
And he says in his moment of distress, he shouts out the name Abba. Now, that's different than what we've seen previously. Previously, it's God. Previously, it's different sort of names. But Jesus says there's a relationship that I have with the father. And I'm going to call him Abba. And Abba means father in the Ramech, but it means it's greatly different than what I explained.
It means an endearing person, someone that's full of love and compassion, someone that's full of grace and mercy, someone that I know loves me and is patient and he's kind with me. Notice in the past, God wasn't viewed as being patient and kind. But Jesus came and said, God, my father, Abba, which he essentially said was daddy. Daddy. I love when my smaller children, daddy, daddy. Now they get this age right here at Zayvah and now it's dad, dad.
I think a grown man's in the house now. Who's that coming down the stairs? Sound like me coming down and said dad. But it was daddy, you know, at some point. Daddy, papa. Abba and notice in his moment of greatest distress, he went straight to his dad. Went straight to his dad. And he created a picture for you and I that said, God is your Abba. He's not just the source of your existence, and that's good.
But he's more than that. He is loving and he's patient. And when you're in trouble, you can go to him. And when you're in need, you can run to him. And when your heart is hurt and broken hearted and you're sad and you're down, you can run to him because he is your Abba. Somebody say Abba. Say it again. Abba. He's your Abba. He is your daddy. And notice Abba is a deeply meaningful phrase that expresses a close, intimate relationship between God and his children. Abba.
Abba reveals the heart of God as a tender, listen to this, approachable father. I said approachable. I said approachable. Come boldly to the throne of grace and obtain mercy to help in the time of need. He's approachable.
¶ Trust and Submission to God's Will
In his moment of distress, Jesus uses the word Abba, one, so that it shows both trust and submission to his will. And there are some things, let me say this, footnote, there are some things that God has put in place and in order that you and I cannot afford to disagree with. There are some things that your father has put in place in the scriptures that we cannot afford to disagree with. And this is what Jesus was showing us. He was saying, not my will, but your will.
Now, Jesus and God are one, but they're not the same. They're one, but they're not the same. And Jesus is saying, I have a will in his earthly manifestation, and I don't want to do this, but not my will. We're one. But your will, I can't afford to disagree with you on this. And so I want you to hear me clearly, because in today's vernacular, well, God is love, and God is love, and I can commit all type of sin, and all type of debauchery and all type of lust and say, well, he just loves me.
Yes, he always will love you. He will. However, you're going to have to not disagree with him when his word says what it says about habitual sin. Don't shout me down when I'm preaching good. All right. And so he's saying here, not my will, but your will be done in my life. In Romans chapter eight, verse 15, Paul tells us here in Romans eight, verse 15, for you did not receive the bond, the spirit of bondage. Again, to fear, but you received the spirit of adoption by whom we cry out.
Somebody shout Abba Father. So notice, we didn't receive this bondage of fear. We didn't receive the spirit of fear that puts us in prison or bondage. If you're contending with a spirit of fear today, you are in bondage. But the Lord doesn't want you to be in bondage. He wants you free from the spirit of fear. And so we are invited into a relationship of love and trust, not fear and distance. Abba invites us into this relationship of love and trust, not fear and distance.
And you and I, as believers, saints of the most high God, we can address him with the same intimacy as Jesus did. Abba. Somebody say Abba. It's Daddy. Dad, I know you love me. I know you're with me. I know you care for me. Abba. We see it again in Galatians chapter 4. Look at Galatians chapter 4, 4 through 7. But when the fullness of time had come, God sent forth his son born of a woman born under the law to redeem those who were under the law that we might receive the adoption as sons.
And because you are sons, God sent forth the spirit of his son into your hearts, crying out. Somebody shout it out. Come on, shout it like you mean it. Therefore, you are no longer a slave, but a son. And if a son, then an heir of God through Christ Jesus.
¶ The Spirit of Adoption
The Holy Spirit is prompting you to relate to God as a loving father, not a distant deity. He is Abba. There is a relationship of intimacy and trust and love and respect. And he's not a God that's ready to bash his head over you. Oh, you sin. So here comes the hammer. He's about to drop it. That's how that's the picture we've painted. But as a son and daughter, we don't have a God that's going to bash across the head with a hammer.
We have a father that loves us and we receive his love and we need to call him Abba because he is our father. Calling him Abba shows that we are no longer slaves, but sons and daughters. Listen, I love you. I do. I love you. I pray for you all the time. I love you guys greatly. This is my son up here. I love him greatly love him but if you put your hands on my son. You're going to have a problem with me I love you both greatly but this is my son,
And because he's my son, I'm going to handle y'all a little differently if you mess with him. Amen. Amen. And then I might handle him a little differently than I handle you. Amen. Why? Because there's a relationship. God loves the world, but we're his sons and daughters. And there's a different relationship that we have with him than the world has with him. And don't buy into this sort of thing or we're all God's children.
No, there's only ones that believe and receive the finished works of Jesus, of his death, burial, and resurrection that have become sons and daughters. Now, God is the source of life, but he's not everybody's father. The devil is some folks' father. But we can invite them to be adopted. into the family of God, and they can be a son and daughter of the Most High God. Somebody say amen. Now listen, Papa, somebody say Papa. Dad, say dad. Daddy.
Yes, these are words that are enduring to our great heavenly Father. When we say these words, it reflects childlike trust, dependence, and love for our Father. I believe he loves when we say Abba or Dad or Father. I believe he embraces it very greatly when we communicate to him that way that we know who we are and we know who you are. And there's a level of mutual respect with relationship. Amen?
¶ Intimacy with God as Our Father
Amen. Through Jesus, we're welcome to speak to God, not just formally, but intimately. Not just formally, oh, oh, thou great, great, great, gracious Lord, Jehovah, Kate, Kalabah, hey, and then, no, no, no, no, no, no. Abba, Son, right? This is how the relationship we should have with much respect. A lot of people have painted, well, I'll hold on to that. Let's go to John 15. Go to John 15, meet me at verse 12. We'll read 12 through 15, John 15, 12 through 15.
This is my commandment, Jesus says, that you love one another. Watch this, as I have loved you. How are we to love each other? As he has loved us. And how has he loved us? Unconditionally. Interesting, we're to love one another as he has loved us, unconditionally. Greater love has no one than this, than to lay down one's life for his friend. Somebody say friends. Look at verse 14. You are my friends. If you do whatever I command you. And let's take a look at verse 15.
No longer do I call you servants. For a servant does not know what his master is doing. But I have called you friends. Somebody say friends. For all things I have heard from my father I have made known to you. Now, once again, God and Jesus are one. And he's saying here that you are my friends.
¶ Jesus Calls Us Friends
No longer do I call you slaves or servants. I call you friends. Now, I want you to hear me clearly with a statement I'm about to make. I spoke with a friend of mine. I'm going to give him credit this time. I won't give him credit next time I preach this. But he's an older gentleman. He's an apostle in the faith, been a mentor to me at times and times in my life. And he and I talk pretty regularly. And he said something to me that jolted on the inside of me.
And I told him, I said, I'm going to give you credit this time, but no more. But he said this to me. Now, listen, I want everybody to listen to me. If you are a father, I don't care how old you are. If you are a mother, don't care how old you are. Or if you want to be a father or a mother, I want you to hear what I'm about to say very clearly. He said this to me. He said, stop saying. Now, I didn't say this.
We were just talking. But he said this to me. He said, stop saying I am your father and not your friend. I said, well, I started laughing. I said, well, I have said that before to my children. I am your father, not your friend. I've heard mothers say it. I am your mother and not your friend. And I get where that's coming from. But this is what he said to me. He said, but if you look in Scripture, Father God said, I am your father and your friend.
¶ Fatherhood and Friendship
And that hit me like a ton of bricks. I am your father and your friend. If we and our responsibility as parents, mothers, fathers, potential mothers and fathers in the house today, Today, our responsibility is to raise our children up so that they can leave us. But ultimately, we are to create responsible adults and have a friendly relationship with them. That's the goal. So raise up children to live independently of me, right? Raise your own family.
But then I want to have a friendship with you. But what we've been taught is I am not your friend. And I've said it. I've said it. Don't you come in here and talk to me like I'm your friend. I ain't one of your little friends. And I get it. But what we have developed is the son or daughter not talking to us at all. Listen to me now. Satan has ruined family relationships in more ways than one.
But I believe this is one of the ways he has. Because if we are to develop a relationship with our children to the point that they will begin to see us as a friend, they'll tell us stuff. They'll share stuff with us. Even if you have grown children You're sitting here today or you're online You have grown children They got their own families Develop now a friendship With your children, We have Because of You better respect me And I am I am the man I've heard Ladies say this I am the mother.
Well, what does that mean? That means don't you talk to me about whatever you want to talk to me about, because I am the father. I am the mother. And now our children are doing things that they shouldn't even be doing, not loving and respecting us, not inquiring of us, not asking of us, because we've created a barrier. I told my son he's turned 14 I told him this the other day I want to develop a friendship with you So I told him He looked at me like what?
I said I know you've heard me say You've heard me say I'm your father I said but you're growing up now And I want to develop a friendship with you What am I looking for? I'm looking for communication Conversation Trust I told him the girls are liking him now You know, he's a good looking man like his dad, you know, the girls are liking him. But I said, nobody, you know, knows more about girls than I do. His friends don't know more about girls.
Nobody, nobody he knows knows more about. I say, well, talk to me. Talk to me. I want to develop a friendship. Now, what we're scared of is that we'll develop a friendship and somehow he would lose respect. No, he would actually gain respect. But the fear is, oh, I ain't one of your friends. So somehow we're going to lose. You're going to you're not going to respect me anymore. No, no. He could tell me something and I could say, man, I appreciate you saying that.
Now, you know, that's wrong. You know, it's not right. That's not right. But I do appreciate you telling me we're going to walk through this together.
¶ Building Relationships with Our Children
Amen. We have to become friends with our children. Philippians 2. Put this on the screen real quick. Philippians 2, 3, and 4. I want to go somewhere with this. Verse 3. Let nothing be done through selfish ambition or conceit. That means thinking about yourself. But in lowliness of mind, let's each esteem others better than himself. Verse 4 is one to get to. Let each one of you look out not only for his own interests, but also for the interests of others. Now, this is powerful. Watch this.
Because there was a time then Zai, our oldest, she was really into politics. She actually just has, she's got a degree in political science. She was really into it before it got crazy, right? It's crazy now. But she was really, really into it. And she would talk to me about it. At the time, I wasn't really into it. She was. She was talking to me about it, and I started thinking, if I want to create a relationship, I need to get interested in politics.
So I started reading up. I started getting interested. She started asking these questions. I had some responses. I ain't going to tell you I had the answers because there are a lot of questions, I mean, we don't have the answers for. A lot of this political argument going on right now, there are no earthly answers. We have to get it from heaven, but nobody praying to get it from heaven. That's another thing. I'll get on. I'll get on that later.
And so I started getting interested in politics. Did I like politics? No. I did it for one reason to talk to her about it. So then she started getting interested in the 40 at the time, 45 presidents in sequence. And she's like, I know I'm all in order. And I said. Well I know them all in order too and she was like let's take a test I said give me 48 hours.
And we did I'm over here learning all the presidents in order so that I can relate to her, right so we can build a relationship and lo and behold on a Friday we sat down and we wrote all of them down in order right And I let her win. I missed one on purpose. Let her win. And why? Why? I became interested in what she was interested in. Now, that doesn't mean there won't be times of rebellion. Won't be mean, won't be times of disagreement.
She's getting older now. And, you know, hey, she's got some ways of thinking maybe dad doesn't agree with. But that doesn't mean that we can't have relationships. And we have to take the effort. I believe the onus is on the parent to take the effort to build relationship with the child. I believe that we need to be less about us. Well, you talk to your kid. Well, let me tell you about work today, kid. I went to work and I got tired and I was at the desk and it was hot.
That grown child don't care about what you did at work? Listen to me now. When I was at work, and yeah, this person said this to me, and this person said that, and this, that, this, that, this, that. They don't care? They care about what they care about. So we need to ask them, how are you? I'm good. What does good mean? Oh, well, good means that I'm okay and got me thinking, okay, this, that. Tell me about your day.
Open-ended questions. Now we're becoming interested in what they're interested in, and we're building relationship.
I am seeing far too often, and even in my life as well, and I'm talking to friends, and I'm talking to people my age, and it seems more often than not, most people don't have a relationship my age with their parents and if you talk to that age group they don't have relationship with their children and ron said this earlier we were talking before church and it's very true as they you got them for what 18 years basically and i want them to move out and in the 18 year praise
god no they can stay as long as they want you got 18 years Now listen to this, follow me, are y'all with me today? Is this boring to anybody? Okay, 18 years you got them. Of those 18 years, six of them, they're asleep. So you got 12. Of those 12, six of them, they're in school. So you got six. You got six years. Really just you and them. So, you know, and then of that too, I forgot to add discipline.
Oh, school, I'm sorry, school and chores, et cetera, doing all extracurricular activities, that sort of thing.
¶ The Importance of Communication
So you got six years. So if you really only got six years or in the home, that's the time you've got to build a relationship with them so that they'll want to talk to you. So that they'll want to be around you so that when they get older and they're going to make mistakes, you made mistakes. And but they'll talk. They won't run from you. They'll talk to you. Hey, I messed up here. We're talking to our kids. Hey, lying, lying don't get you nowhere.
Just go and tell us true. We're going to find out anyway. We pray. We pray, we hear from the Holy Ghost, and you might as well just stop it because it just makes it worse on you. Just tell the truth, right? That's children. Now I want to talk to someone that has grown children. Why do your children not want to talk to you? You have to ask yourself that question. Why? If they can't tell you everything, and I'm going to use that word everything loosely, okay?
Because there are some things I probably don't even want to know. Amen? Just don't even tell me because I don't want to know, right? Stacey and I were talking about this the other day. And we were talking about, can our kids really tell us everything? I was like, I don't think so. No, no. I think it sounds good. But maybe not tell me everything, right? But if they can't tell you something, let me use that word, then it's probably because you're not their friend.
I can't tell mom and dad that. Why? Either fear or they don't see you as a friend. And if they see you as a friend, they'll tell you, even if it's to their detriment. They'll tell you. And so we have to it's the onus is on the on the parent. It's unhealthy for child is I want a relationship with my mom and dad. I just wish I had a relationship with mom and dad. Oh, I'm trying to find mom and dad. And you see that. People looking and trying to find. That's really unhealthy.
The parents should be wooing, going after the child. Like the prodigal son. The dad's at the door when the prodigal left. Dad's on the porch looking. Looking. He's coming back. Took off running towards him. Pursuing his child. So it's unhealthy. Well, I don't have a relationship with my child. That's on you. That told me a lot about you. Now, if you've been, you know, acting crazy and you've been apologized, apologized, but now and you just you're trying. And I say, keep trying.
There's a friend of mine and he had some things going on in his life and his he and his child's mother. His child is grown now. His child's mother had gotten a divorce when they were kids. And it was his fault. He cheated on the mob.
Gotten divorced the child has now grown doesn't want anything to do with that he called me what i do i said you you pursue him you call him you text him and he said he's not responding that that that's on him that's on him but you go after him you keep calling and not every day i mean you don't want to be a pest but you know once once a once a week or something hey send a text maybe you'll call once a month or something. He kept doing this for years.
The kid got engaged and invited him to the wedding. Amen. He said he invited me. I said, you can't pursue it. He said, I can't pursue it. And they wanted to take pictures. And he wanted to take pictures with me at the wedding. Glory to God. Pursue it. And it's on the mom and dad to do it. It's not on the child. And when you're, and stop talking about yourself so much when you're talking to your children. And at this point, I'm talking about adult children as well.
You got adult children, and all you want to do is talk about, well, I'm in so much pain. I'm just in my back, and nobody want to hear that. My neck, my back, my neck, and my back, you know? My knees, my legs, I'm just so much, so much pain and pain and pain. And the adult child's like, I can't relate to that. I'm sorry you're in so much pain, but can you ask me one question about me? And can you get excited about what God's doing in my life? Now we're building friendship. And they're too often.
I'm telling you, do your own study on this. Ask your people around, do you have a relationship with your mom and dad? Or if your mom and dad's in heaven, obviously, you know, that's a different sort of relationship. But if they're living or ask people, you know, do you have a relationship with your son and daughter? Just listen to the answers. You'll come to the same conclusion I've come to.
¶ Developing Lasting Bonds
It's a lot of brokenness. And I believe it's a lot of we never became friends. We never became friends. Discipline. If you've got smaller children, discipline your children. I'm not saying, I'm a friend now, so you know we're not going to be, no more discipline. No, no, no, no. There's going to be some discipline. The scripture says if you spare the rod, no, that's not what the scripture says. It says you hate the child. We have taken this translation and said, go back to the original.
You know, you spare the rod, you hate the child. Now, some new translations have used the word spoil, but the original was the word hate. And so we're still going to have to put some discipline in the home, right? We're still going to have to do those sort of things. But always remember with the mindset that I want an adult relationship with my son and daughter. And so, therefore, I need to also I need to open up. and I need to share my weaknesses. Son, this is where I missed it.
You know, this is where I made the mistake. You know, before your mom, I used to mess with this girl and I shouldn't have messed with her. And I see that maybe going in your life as well. You listen to what I'm saying? You need to be vulnerable. They don't think you're perfect anyway, so you might as well. You might as well just show some vulnerability ability. And I'm learning as my children are getting older. I'm learning. I'm in that process. I'm learning, okay? Yes, I'm dad.
And yes, whatever I say in this house is going to be the way it is. But I have to also understand they're going to move out one day. And I want the friendship. And so I implore anybody in here, you got small children at the home, keep that in the back of your mind. Stop saying, I am your mother, not your friend. I understand where you're coming from. But that is creating a divide. Hey, I am your mother and I'm your friend, but you're not going to talk to me like that. Amen.
I am your father and I'm your friend. But those words are not allowed to be said to me. Right. If it's disrespectful, degrading, etc. And then as they get as they get older, start showing interest in them. What do they like to do? And eventually, like any child, they show interest. Zavin, I know he's up here. I'm using an example. He's always interested in what I'm interested in. And I'm interested in what he's interested in, right?
That's how you develop a bond. It gets harder, though, when you're not interested. I have a friend. His son is interested in hunting. And he's not. His son is grown. And I was telling him when I'm telling you today about, man, we got to do this, build friendships. He goes, man, this is challenging me. I'm going to go hunting with him. He said, I don't even like it, but I'm going with him because he's interested in it, and I want to be interested in what he's interested in. Amen.
This is how we stop looking in Philippians 2, thinking about our own selfish desires. And we start thinking about and paying attention to our children and what they're interested in. And if it's some sort of debauchery and sin and craziness, son, daughter, you know, dad's not going to get involved in that. OK, I love you, but I'm not I'm not getting involved in that. But I'm always here to talk to you, to be here for you. But I'm not I'm not going to be involved in that debauchery.
OK, if it's something like that. Amen. And so as we as we endeavor.
¶ God as Father and Friend
To build friendships, understand God is a father and a friend. He said, I don't call you slaves, I call you friends. That means he's going to share secrets with you because of the friendship. He's going to tell you things to come because of the friendship. He's going to lead and guide you because of the friendship. Likewise, you should be the same way with your children or potential children. I am your father. I am your mother, but I'm also your friend.
And you can come to me, you can talk to me, and you can confide in me, and you can share things with me. And, you know, it's better that you just tell me because we're friends, or I'm going to feel a certain way. If you don't tell me, I'll find out later. I'm going to feel like we're not friends. I thought we were friends, right? This is what we got to develop because too often Satan is winning. He is. I believe he's winning in the family. He's dividing family members up.
Daughter-in-laws and mother-in-laws, all the mess that goes along with that. And you know what I'm talking about. Don't raise your hand, but you know what I'm talking about. And all of that that comes with it. And the scripture says that some of your enemies would be those in your own household. That's what the scripture said, that you can have the same last name and that person be your enemy. I just believe that ought not be so.
I believe there should be great relationships. And I think it starts with us. Your mom and dad did the best that they could do. If they've passed and went on into glory, they did the best that they could do. But you have an opportunity to start now and become great friends with your children and have an adult relationship with them. Amen. I wrote this down. I'm going to find it here real quick. Give me some time. Kurt, give me a little background music as I get a little time here.
But I wrote this down. Don't you appreciate Kurt? Yeah, I do, too. I wrote this down as a mission. And let's see if I can find it here. Here he is. My ultimate vision. Listen to me, everybody look at me.
¶ Vision for Lifelong Relationships
My ultimate vision is to raise responsible children with whom I can enjoy an adult relationship for life. That's it right there. Let me say it one more time. My ultimate vision is to raise responsible children with whom I can enjoy an adult relationship for life. This is how you experience true life.
